Hey everyone. I'm sorry this is so late. It's been a busy year for me. To be honest, I've been working on my own original story so this has taken a back seat. I'm also motivated by reviewers so the fewer reviews I get the less my motivation to focus on this story. I will always finish a story so don't worry about that. It just may take longer.
Thank you for those still reading this, I know I started this years ago when I was still a teen so it's been a while. Let me know how I can improve as well.
Thank you to those who review: xVentressx, TimeLadySpitfire, and hanakochan101
Thank you, Jazzilynn Hall, for editing.
Please review and let me know what you think. This is a big chapter!
Foggy. Everything is so foggy in my mind. I force my eyes to open despite the desire to slip back into darkness. Where am I? I immediately close my mind against the harsh bright light which hurts my eyes. My chest and head hurt faintly. A small groan escapes my lips. I can hear a heart monitor beeping at the side of me. What happened?
"You're awake," states a voice.
Ratchet…. I slowly open my eyes to see Ratchet.
"That stubborn femme has stayed at your side all night," comments Ratchet at the computer.
Femme….? I then notice a weight on my right hand on my opposite side. Sarah? She's asleep, her hand on my right hand as her head is on the bed. The contact is unfamiliar to me but I strangely don't mind it. I don't move my hand away. I suddenly remember what happened last night. Annabelle! I turn my head quickly in alarm, nearly giving myself whiplash.
"Is she okay? Is Annabelle-" I ask urgently.
I notice my heart speed up and I force myself to calm down. I notice that I'm still wearing the dress.
"The sparkling is fine. Bruised faintly but overall her health is in good condition for what she's gone through. It's a miracle you both came out of it okay," states Ratchet interrupted me.
I can hear his underlying frustration and worry.
I breathe out a sigh of relief and I look up at the ceiling.
"That was a very brave thing you did," comments Ratchet making a dry, humorless laugh come out of my mouth.
"That wasn't brave. Brave is when you do something despite being scared, despite the fear. I'm not brave," I laugh bitterly.
"You weren't scared?" asks Ratchet with curiosity and worry.
"Death is a luxury I can't afford to have yet. To rest…. to finally rest would be a sweet release," I admit.
I see sudden movement making me sit up and I look to Ratchet whose waving a wrench around angrily and for a second, I think he's going to throw it at me.
"Do not speak of death as it is a good thing. That femme there has been worried all night about your stare and you say things like death is a sweet release? Death takes those we care about. Imagine the state she would be in if you did die," rants Ratchet angrily but he's careful not to raise his voice to high otherwise he'll wake Sarah.
"She would get over it," I reply but Ratchet words fly out over my words near the end of my sentence.
"Would she? Look at her. Look at her face," orders Ratchet his optics narrowed.
I sigh tiredly not in the mood for this but I do as he says. I look at Sarah's face, I really look. She….
"She's been crying?" I realize dumbfounded.
But why?
"Of course she has. You may not realize but she cares for you and she's not the only one. Each Autobot has asked about your condition through the night, even Ironhide. Hell, even the twins visited. Open your optics and stop being so blind to those around you," rants Ratchet.
For once I'm speechless, unsure what to say as I process the information. His features soften up at seeing my confused and dumbfounded expression and he turns his back going back to his previous work which I appreciate. I don't want anyone to see me with this expression on my face. I hear a sound like a sigh coming from Ratchet.
"Don't worry, I haven't scanned you. I don't want to break your trust. I analyzed what I could see and I cleaned your cuts and covered them. I listened to your heartbeat to see if you were in stable condition. That was reckless what you did but you saved the sparkling so, in the end, I'm glad everyone has made it out alive. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker have captured Barricade. He's in the brig at the moment. Prime found your unconscious figure with Starscream nowhere to be seen. He must of cut his losses and ran," informs Ratchet.
Barricade got caught huh? That's not supposed to happen. Have I changed things? I run my free hand through my hair pushing it back tiredly. Maybe he gets free later, there's still some time before the next movie isn't there? I don't know. All this thinking is making my head hurt even more. I bring my hand to my eyes rubbing them and then I notice something. Something I've been missing since I woke up. I move my hand away from my face. I stare at it. A cold realization runs through me and I begin to tremble slightly.
"R-Ratchet," I call out softly, getting his attention.
Even my voice is shaky. This is bad. Ratchet turns to face me casually but I keep my eyes on my hand.
"I can see," I say with an odd calmness, my voice cold with no emotion.
"Well of course you can see," retorts Ratchet but I shake my head and I look him in the eye.
"No…. I was blind in one eye," I state with a tremor in my voice.
I see Ratchet visually stiffen up as he freezes in stunned silence and I remember my encounter with Starscream and panic builds up in me. The beeping on the monitor quickens as I panic.
"Scan me," I order.
"What?" asks Ratchet snapping out of it.
"Scan me Ratchet. Now," I demand and I swing my body around and stand up, waking Sarah.
This is wrong. So wrong.
"Violet, you're awake!" realizes Sarah before beaming.
If it were any other time I might have been touched by her reaction but for the moment I'm more concerned with what's going on in my body. I feel the scan going over my body and I have to push away the feeling of vulnerableness.
"What's going on? You've never let Ratchet scan your whole body. Even after you injured your leg," questions Sarah noticing the atmosphere around her.
I ignore Sarah as I concentrate on reading Ratchet's body language and expression. He stiffens up as he gets the results.
"What is it? Just tell me," I inquire eagerly, urgently.
I need to know what's happening. Ratchet stays silent and frozen. It makes me wonder if he's glitched.
"Ratchet, just me!" I shout out.
Why isn't he telling me? Just tell me. Just say it. It's making me more stressed.
"Shadow…. you may want to sit down," says Ratchet softly but instead it frustrates me further.
"Damnit Ratchet! Just spit it out already before I stuff something up your exhaust!" I threat in Spanish, slipping into my mother tongue.
Ratchet sighs as Sarah looks confused and concerned at the situation.
"Your body is infested with nanobots. They are changing your heart and brain from organic to non-organic and it's halfway done," informs Ratchet.
I slowly take a step back and I sit on the edge of the bed. My mind freezes and I can't think. I just sit stunned unable to do anything else.
"Non-organic? What does that mean?" asks Sarah alarmed.
"It means Shadow is turning into something she's not. Her heart is turning into a spark and her brain into a processor," explains Ratchet further.
I put a hand to my heart absentmindedly. My head has been hurting ever since I've got here. I got to a point where I nearly asked Ratchet for painkillers and then it stopped hurting after….. after I spoke with Barricade in the shop. When I spoke to Starscream my mind and chest felt like it burst into flames.
"You're turning into something Cybertronian," announces Ratchet getting my attention and I look straight into his optics.
He's being serious. He's not pulling some sick joke.
"Is that even possible?" questions Sarah concerned but Ratchet keeps his eyes on me.
"No…. No one can survive that sort of transformation," states Ratchet.
In other words….
"But that means…" trails off Sarah.
"I'm going to die," I finish emotionlessly as I begin thinking deeply.
How did they get nanites into me? Why? For a slow painful death? It doesn't make sense. Did I get infected when I was with Starscream?
"You can't let her die Ratchet. You have to do something," demands Sarah frantically.
There's a lot of things that still don't make sense, one of which being…..
"That doesn't answer how I can now see," I state.
"The nanites heal the body first in order to prepare it and then it works on the converting part," answers Ratchet.
"How much time do I have before it kills me?" I ask.
"It's hard to tell. Your body will give out before three-quarters of the process. At the rate it's going, a few weeks minimum," answers Ratchet.
"That gives me enough time," I say satisfied.
"For what exactly?" asks Sarah perturbed.
"To finish breaking the firewalls, track down the machine destroy it and Despiadado," I explain standing up.
I notice my belt and I put it on. Someone must have taken it off and put it next to the bed.
"You can't be serious! You need to forget about that and focus on saving your own life," exclaims Sarah horrified.
"I'm going to die anyway, Sarah. My mission is to wipe out Despiadado's legacy. all of it, including me. All this does is saving me from doing it myself," I explain unbothered.
In my eyes, this changes nothing.
"The nanites will be trying to revive your body over and over again until it gives up. It won't be a quick death. Slow and painful. You will be burning," states Ratchet.
"Maybe it's what I deserve," I fire back.
"Don't you dare….. don't you dare pretend that this is okay. It is not. Do you have any idea how worried I was after you nearly sacrificed yourself for Annabelle? And now you are saying that you're okay with death. With dying a slow, painful death. I'm not going to sit here and watch you die," rants Sarah lowly, angrily.
"Then don't," I retort coldly.
Sarah looks like she's been slapped in the face. She looks hurt and it makes me nearly regret my words. I hate the fact that I hurt her after how good she's been to me but I don't back down. Her eyes then narrow and she looks angry and determined.
"I won't because I won't let it happen," vows Sarah.
I nearly roll my eyes at her foolishness. I look over to Ratchet, ignoring Sarah's declaration but Ratchet doesn't look too happy with me. I ignore that too.
"We need to think about why the Decepticons decided to infect a human and try to transform them into a Cybertronian. I would make a small one," I ramble.
"We need to be thinking about solutions about your problem," says Ratchet taking Sarah's side.
"If you want to think about a solution which doesn't exist then do it on your own time. We need to focus on their motive and planning," I counter firmly.
Ratchet's optics narrow but he doesn't voice a disagreement.
"We're missing the bigger picture here. Think about it. The first interaction I have had here in with Barricade. Then you guys find me. The next time I leave base is when I go shopping with those 3 women soldiers and I bump into Barricade again. I leave the base and not long after Decepticons attack. We go to the party and they attack again. Everywhere I go, they know. It's like they're…." I trail off with a realization that makes me feel sick.
"It's like…?" asks Sarah trying to prompt me.
"Ratchet, you did a full body scan right?" I question.
"Affirmative," confirms Ratchet.
"Double check it, see if you missed anything," I order.
Ratchet does so and I see his optics go dim as he rereads the scan. Please let me be wrong. Just once. Don't let it be what I think it is.
"There is a small tracking device inside you," confirms Ratchet.
My stomach drops. I swallow thickly, feeling sick.
"Is it active?" I ask anxiously.
"Yes," states Ratchet.
"Get it out," I order trying to keep me cool.
I clench my fists tightly trying to contain myself.
"I can't," denies Ratchet.
"Get it out! GET IT OUT!" I yell losing my composure completely.
"I refuse. It's tied to your nervous system, it'll damage your arm completely to the point it will be dead. The nanites won't repair your arm, there will be nothing to repair," protests Ratchet.
"If you won't do it then I will," I declare darkly before getting my dagger out.
I bring it down but Sarah grabs the dagger out of my hand.
"I won't let you," denies Sarah but I snatch it back easily.
Suddenly I feel it flying from my fingers and I turn round to see Ratchet used a magnet to get it. I see my belt with the rest of the daggers attached as well.
"Don't you dare Ratchet. Give it back to me!" I demand venomously.
"I can't," rejects Ratchet.
"Damn it Ratchet! Do you know what it's like to be tracked like some dog everywhere you go?! I refuse to let it happen again!" I scream at him.
"If you damage the tracker, the nanites will repair it. For you to fully be rid of it, you'll have to amputate your whole arm," explains Ratchet his voice annoying calm.
"I don't care. If that's what it takes so be it!" I declare.
"You're not thinking clearly," comments Ratchet.
"I am. I refuse to let this happen to me. This is my choice," I state back angrily.
My whole body is shaking and I can't take this.
"Get it out," I repeat evenly.
"No," states Ratchet.
"Get it out. Get it out! GET IT OUT!" I snap frantic, scratching at it and hitting my arm against the nearest wall each time I order him to take it out.
Ratchet immediately picks me up in a closed fist so I'm unable to move. I can't deal with this. I feel trapped.
"No. Let me go," I protest.
"Not until you calm down," orders Ratchet.
I try my best to move as I struggle against him but I can't.
"I don't want to restrain you and I don't want to sedate you but I will if I have to," warns Ratchet.
I give out a scream similar to a roar in frustration before I look down. My shoulders shake and I clench my teeth together and my eyes shut as I feel tears. I refuse to let them fall but I feel helpless, frustrated and vulnerable. I want to run my hands through my hair in frustration but I can't. That yell released my anger but left behind sadness and vulnerability. I hate feeling like this. But I hate being like an object even more.
"Please… Ratchet….. Get it out. I can't live like this," I plead desperately as I hold in a sob.
Silence and then…
"How did you know it's in your arm? The left one?" asks Ratchet softly.
"Despiadado…. My father put it in there when I was a toddler. I know my muscle and ligaments have grown around it and that's why you can't remove it without paralyzing my whole arm. I've tried to remove it in the past, hence the scars over that area but I couldn't get it. I had to use an EMP blast to deactivate it. But the nanites have reactivated it. Ratchet…. I don't care about my arm. I won't be tracked whether it's by Despiadado or by Decepticons. Just get rid of it," I beg desperately.
Despiadado tracked all of his objects, including me because that's all I ever was to him, a tool…. an object. With this reactivated, that's how I feel, like an object, like I belong to him again. I can't deal with this. I can't. I can't go through this again.
"Look, the Decepticons came, after you wondered far from from the base. This base is shielded, that's why the Decepticons didn't come earlier. It's why they don't know where the Allspark is," explains Ratchet while holds my attention.
"So I'm not being tracked right now?" I ask unsure.
"Currently no. But if you leave the base yes. We can come up with a smaller device to block out your signal. We don't need to cut it out," explains Ratchet calming me down.
I nod slowly and I start to feel embarrassed. I just had a total breakdown over something that had a simple solution. If I had just kept my cool we could have come to that realization sooner and yet…. My feelings on this topic haven't changed. Inside me, sorrow and anger are still there along with the fear and panic.
"Now can I put you down without worrying that you'll injure yourself?" questions Ratchet.
I nod again unable to look him in the optic.
"Violet…. I'm sorry that you went through that and you have to go through it again. Is there anything I can do?" asks Sarah sympathetic as she puts a hand on my shoulder.
Now that I've calmed down I start to think strategically. There's nothing she can do. The Decepticons have done this to me and they will pay. No one whether a Decepticon or Despiadado can get away from doing this to me. Then I recall something Ratchet said.
"Just focus on looking after Annabelle and keeping her safe. I have someone I need to talk to. Ratchet, my weapons," I answer.
Ratchet looks at me suspiciously causing me to elaborate.
"I'm not going to self harm," I reassure.
Reluctantly, Ratchet releases the magnetic pull and my daggers and belt drop to the floor. I gather them up and click the belt around my waist over the dress.
"Who do you need to talk to?" asks Sarah curiously.
"The person who's been one step ahead from the start," I answer with certainty.
I hear loud static as I leave the room. Maybe that's the sound of the nanites at work? I don't have much time or patient to focus on that thought. I go down the elevator to the bottom floor: The brig. I clutch the blade on my side in eager anticipation. While I want to throw a dagger at my victim, I don't want to get it stuck giving him some sort of means out.
The lift comes to a stop and I charge through the doors before they are fully opened. I see Lennox, Epps and the rest of the Autobots in the room as well as the bot sitting in the cell with cuffs on; Barricade. I must have interrupted some sort of meeting or interrogation but I don't care as I move quickly.
"Shadow, what are you doing here?" questions Lennox but I ignore him as I swipe his gun from his holster.
I shoot at Barricade multiple times in anger. Unfortunately, the bullets stop at a light blue barrier that's keeping Barricade in and the bullets out. I see an amused smirk on his features which just frustrates me further. I hear shouts of alarm but I ignore them as the gun clicks empty. So instead I throw the gun at the barrier causing Epps and Lennox to duck and guard themselves despite the fact the gun lands nowhere near them.
"You low life scum! All of you Decepticons! What the hell did you do to me?!" I shout at Barricade.
"Woah Shadow, calm down," interjects Lennox calmly.
"What do you mean? Did something happen?" questions Epps confused.
"Those creeps put nanites into my body and it's turning me into a Cybertronian. They've also been tracking me since I've entered this world," I seethe, pointing at the con accusingly.
"Turning you into a what?" asks Epps surprised.
"Is that even possible?" questions Sideswipe curiously.
"Barricade explain yourself," orders Prime firmly.
"It took you long enough to figure it out him," mocks Barricade.
"You are lucky there's a barrier separating us or else you'd be begging for mercy right now," I growl out frustrated but it makes a low chuckle leave Barricade in amusement.
"Aren't I lucky then?" mocks Barricade sarcastic.
"For now, but once I figure out a way in there, there will be pit to pay," I vow.
"Shadow, you're not making much sense. Calm down-" starts Lennox before I feel a hand on my shoulder.
Big mistake. I grip the wrist and twist it without thinking. At the moment I'm like a wounded animal, striking at anything that can be seen remotely threatening. I see everyone in the room tense up, especially Ironhide but I come to my senses quickly at Barricade's laugh. I drop Lennox's wrist feeling bad but I push it down as I turn back to Barricade.
"Miss Sedis, calm yourself or you'll have to leave," warns Prime.
I resist the urge to clench my teeth but I listen to Prime. I need to calm down or else I won't get my answers. I take a deep breath and compose myself pushing down my rage.
"When did you do this to me?" I ask Barricade calmly.
"You're suppose to be smart, figure it out," replies Barricade with a mocking smirk.
I growl but I accept his challenge. Fine if that's how he wants to play. I saw Barricade three times since I've been in this world. The party. The shops and MacDonalds. It wasn't at the party. He didn't get close enough. It could have been Starscream but I would have noticed if he injected me with something.. From Barricades words it implies that the nanites have been there for a while. Nothing stands out to me when we were at the shops or MacDonalds. The road rash healed quickly on my leg and I thought it was a side effect from the machine but could it be the nanites? Had I had them that long? Barricade's not smart enough to make the nanites anyway. They would have had to know about my biology to see how to change a heart to a spark. That would have taken time. Abruptly, a cold realization dawns on me causing a shiver to go down my spine and goosebumps to break out on my arms and legs.
"Lennox, what was the month you found me?" I question hoping yet again to be wrong.
"April. Why?" asks Lennox.
I take a step back in revelation and I feel sick to my stomach. It's starting to make sense now and I wish it didn't.
"It was October to me," I mutter but loud enough for everyone to hear me.
I didn't give it much thought at the time because it's 2009 here. I thought I traveled to a random date to a random world but actually, I was sent the same month but a different year and world.
"I've been in this world six months before they found me, haven't I?" I ask Barricade strangely calm.
Barricade confirms it with a nod of his head and I curse in Spanish.
"What do you mean six months?" asks Ironhide.
I run my fingers through my hair annoyed, mentally berating myself. How did I not notice?
"I've been in Decepticon hands for six months. That's when they made nanites to suit my individual body. That's when they put it into my body. It was Scalpel right?" I clarify but I already know the answer.
"Mainly Scalpel but Starscream had a part too. It was Screamer's idea," admits Barricade.
Damn it. I'm going to squash that bug and dive a dagger into Starscreams chest. I punch the wall needing an outburst before I turn to face Barricade again. My hand hurts but immediately I see my hand healing quickly because of the nanites. They are accelerating. I laugh humourlessly as I realise another thing. I look over my shoulder to the Autobots more specifically Ironhide.
"You accused me of being a spy when I first came. The tracker fed them my location so they could attack the base. I guess you were right, Ironhide," I comment bitterly with a twisted smirk on my face.
There are no victory in Ironhide's optics. In fact, he looks away in shame. I thought my life was already screwed up but somehow it's gotten even more screwed up.
"Shadow I-" starts Ironhide but I interrupt.
"Save it. I don't want your pity. Besides you were right," I cut in before I continue, "All I need are answers from you."
I look directly into Barricade's optics unflinchingly.
"You already had me so why plant me back to the site of the explosion and chase me?" I interrogate.
"The nanites will kill you." starts Barricade ignoring my question.
"I know," I state.
"What? Kill?" questions Lennox alarmed as well as a few others.
"Shut up," I order the mix of voices and reluctantly they hold their tongue.
"The doctor and Starscream tried to find a way to transform you into a Cybertronian without it killing the host but they were unable to find a way. Then they had an idea, I don't know whose idea it was but if they couldn't figure it out maybe someone else could. Autobots would never let a human pet die under their care. They would never give up to find a solution but we had to let them get attached to you first. The bigger the attachment, the harder they will try," explains Barricade.
"You got the original formula they made for the nanites?" I question.
We need it to give us a head start.
"Affirmative," confirms Barricade.
Ratchet will want it.
"Let Ratchet know. He'll want it," I tell the Autobots.
"And you don't?" questions Sunstreaker.
"It makes no difference to me. As long as I accomplish my mission before I die, I'll be able to rest," I answer before my attention returns to the con.
"Vi," says Lennox in warning but I ignore him and focus on the con.
"My leg didn't heal quickly after the base attack," I comment.
"I shut off your nanites in the human store. I scanned it and sent it to our communications officer who referred the message back to Starscream. He ordered for it to be switched off, for now, to not strain your body too much. We also know the battle was coming up. We knew there was a possibility of you being injured and we couldn't let the Autobot medical officer scan you and see the nanites heal you yet," explains the Decepticon.
"And Starscream reactivated it," I suspect.
I still have another question.
"Why?" I ask.
Barricade knows that I don't mean why did Starscream reactive the nanobots. All this trouble and for what?
"This war has been going on for centuries. Many soldiers have died on both sides. We need more," answers Barricade.
"How can you be so sure that I would agree to be a Decepticon?" I ask with interest.
A low, rumbling laugh comes from Barricade.
"Attacking fellow comrades. Ruthless. A femme whose life is swarming in blood. Definitely more Decepticon than Autobot," states Barricade amused.
"One more soldier would not make a difference," I reply.
"One more average soldier? No. A femme brought up to kill? Who accepted orders without thought? Cold, calculating, ruthless. You could sneak in anywhere and kill anyone regardless of status, position, age, strength. The perfect soldier." retorts Barricade.
I clench my fists tightly and I grit my teeth. Starscream's earlier words come to mind.
"How long have you been watching me?" I ask confusing everyone else.
Barricade knows what I mean though. He stays silent to the question.
"Starscream used my real name. I haven't used my birth name in four years. How the hell did he know? And how do you know so much about me? How did you get that information? No database in either world has that information. I will only ask one more time con: How long have you been watching me?" I question spitting out the word 'con' venomously.
"Since you were a Sparkling," answers Barricade.
I inhale sharply and I take a step back in shock. I thought for a while but not that long. I struggle to breathe and I shake my head slightly in denial.
"No. That's not possible," I stammer protesting in utter shock.
My…. My whole life? I feel weak at the knees, almost like I'm going to pass out.
"She's going to collapse," states Ironhide concerned and I feel Lennox steady me from behind holding my elbows.
"Violet, are you okay?" questions Lennox concerned.
I need to sit down. If I could see myself right now I would be disgusted at how weak I looked.
"You're lying," I deny weakly, keeping my eyes on Barricade despite the voices of concern around me.
"To watch my life would take years," I reassure myself.
Over 20 years actually. That's impossible. They could never.
"That machine that brought you here, it showed us you. It showed you killing other humans which piped Starscreams interest. We found it focused on your life. We could speed through your life and stop and linger on some parts when we chose to. At times you grew suspicious, like you knew someone was watching but you couldn't tell who," expands Barricade further.
He's right. There were times in my life that I felt like I was being watched but I assumed it was paranoia. The machine must have been trying to find its creator but since Despiadado is dead, it latched on to the next of kin: me.
"Starscream saw the potential of having you on our side. A shadow that kills no matter the age, even your own sire," continues Barricade mercilessly.
"No. You can't! You're lying! It's not possible. You're a liar!" I begin to shout.
Barricade doesn't say anything instead he looks straight at me. His optics…. It's like he's looking into my soul. I can see…. he knows everything. I sharply intake. I can't take this. This all too much in one day. I turn around and begin to make my way to the door to escape. I feel too vulnerable. It's like I've been stripped bare.
"How's your optic?" calls out Barricade knowingly.
I stop but I don't turn back.
"Better than yours," I retort keeping my back to him.
"You can't stop the transformation. What are you going to do if you can't complete your mission in time?" questions Barricade with interest.
"I'll slow them down," I proclaim.
"How?" questions Barricade.
I get a dagger out and I drive it into my arm where the tracker is, making sure it doesn't go far enough to damage my arm irreversibly. I know the nanites will repair it but I still aim there as an act of defiance. I hear Epps swear as Lennox rushes over.
"The nanites stop the transformation to heal me. I'll stab myself a hundred times over if that's what it takes," I announce firmly.
"Pit femme. Hatchet's gonna kill you," comments Sideswipe.
I nearly wince at that but I maintain my composure.
"Oh and Barricade," I call out before continuing, "You let slip information. You should be careful. We now know that the Decepticons have the machine we're looking for."
I may feel vulnerable and weak right now but I can't help but get a small victory and shove it in the Decepticons face. I don't look back to see his reaction instead I move forward to the lift. I need to get out of this room, regroup my thoughts. I need to think about this carefully. My inclination is to work out so I can clear my head but since I've just injured myself I have to deal with that first. I hear hurried footsteps behind me. Lennox.
"Wait, Vi," says Lennox worried, he puts his hand on the door to the lift to stop it from closing.
"How are you doing?" asks Lennox concern showing through his eyes easily.
"What do you think? My life is in the shadows, it's how I operate and now I've found out they've seen every second of my life and they've flicked through it like a movie. They've seen every weak point of my life, every terrible thing, every mistake I've made. It's the damn Decepticons as well, they're not just going to sit on this information," I rant out to Lennox.
"It sucks, I know. but you're not alone in this. You have us. We'll help. We have your back. They're not going to get away with this," vows Lennox seriously.
I see the sincerity and determination in his eyes and I…. I trust him. I nod in understanding.
"Get your arm checked out. I know you said those nano things will heal you but you may need it clean out first," advises Lennox.
I nod again and Lennox goes to step back but I stop him.
"Lennox?" I say softly.
I've made a decision, consequences be damned. I see I hold his interest so I carry on.
"I'm going to kill Starscream. The movies…. The future be damned. He's going to pay," I declare coldly.
He's hurt me. He's cut me to the core. And he will pay. To my surprise, Lennox steps forwards and hugs me. I stiffen up but I don't push him away. Why is he…..?
"Don't worry. No one gets away with hurting family," states Lennox before he steps back, far away that the lift begins to close.
Family? I feel my eyes water without my permission, and I see the door to the lift close, blocking my vision of Lennox. I feel the lift go up but I don't register it. But what is family? The door to the lift opens after it stops but I don't even realize. It's only when I hear a shout that I'm knocked back into reality.
"What the pit did you do to your arm, femme?!"
Scrap… Ratchet.
—-
Family…. I know what it's supposed to be. It's a group of people attached by blood. They encourage each other, back them up, help them…..Love them. And yet my family experience differs greatly. There's no love, no support, no help. Only purpose. Only bloodline. Only legacy. Only obedience. The houses of others are filled with laughter while mine was filled with screams. Family is a chain of command. My father would issue orders and as his child I would follow with no thought of my own. Family is an excuse to make people do things out of a sense of duty. It's being tied down to people. It's something to exploit. But what is family to Lennox?… And why did he say it to me?