Special thanks to xVentressx and HanaeTakahashi for reviewing the last chapter.
My reviews are up to 141 right now, which is amazing. I can't wait to see how many reviews I'll get by the end of this story.
This one was a little tricky to write. I find fighting scenes hard to write because it doesn't come across as clear as I want, if any one has any tips for fighting scenes let me know. I'm open to any help.
Sorry, I've had this ready for a while but I've been busy. I'm going to be an aunty very soon so I don't know when I will be able to update. I also have a case of writers block so I've been unmotivated to write.
I've tried to edited any mistakes but there might still be some in there.
I hope you enjoy this chapter!
I spin to my right guiding his dagger to go past me. The effect is as desired. He doesn't expect the shift and goes forward because of all the weight he was pushing forward to break through my defence. I use this opportunity to try to strike his back but I don't expect him to grab my wrist as he falls forward. We both hit the floor hard side by side. I land on my back where as he lands on his front, still gripping my wrist. I react quickly and I turn on my side and try to stab him. Despiadado reacts quickly and lets go of my wrist to grab my other hand which is holding my dagger whilst he rolls onto his back. With his other hand he swings his dagger up at me. I use my free hand to hold his wrist back. I push with all of my strength with gravity aiding me, my dagger close to his heart. His dagger is close to my eye but I continue to push down regardless willing to make any sacrifice for his life. We both use our whole strength, our hands shaking from the exertion. At the same time we twist each other's wrist making us both drop our respective daggers. We both catch each other's daggers. Since his dagger is dropped away from me and my dagger is dropped towards him, he is able to grab a dagger faster giving him a split second advantage but that's all he needs. I dive backwards as I grab his wrist, stopping him from stabbing me in my chest as he dives forward. I use my other hand to try and stab him. Our roles reverse. I bring my knee up but he blocks it with his own. I grunt strugglingly to keep the dagger at bay as I push forward with the other dagger. He moves himself so he manages to get his knee on my shoulder and moves it across my arm. Unable to deal with the strength of his knee and hand, he easily slams my wrist down making me nearly drop my dagger but years of experience makes me hold on tight to it. As he pins my arm down, I concentrate on my other hand using all my strength to keep the dagger he is using at bay. The dagger that was previously in my possession. I grit my teeth and a grunt escapes me. He uses his free hand to twist my wrist forcing me to release my dagger. He picks it up as he keeps my arm pinned down by his knee.
"Such anger and ferocity," laughs Despiadado but I ignore him.
"Eyes so cold and yet they burn with true rage. So much hatred in there," observes Despiadado eagerly.
I can't believe I'm in this position. At the mercy of my sworn enemy, struggling to keep the dagger from going through my chest. I'm weak. This is pathetic! A growl escapes my lips as I feel frustration and self loathing bubbling up inside of me until I feel it overflow. I won't let him win. However despite my resolve, with his hand holding the other dagger that's not threatening me, he moves it to the left side of my face where my long hair is.
"Let's have a look behind your hair. You've grown it long on purpose to cover something up. It compromises your vision, you're a professional so you wouldn't do anything to compromise your vision unless you were hiding something. I've been curious as to what ever since I've seen you, Shadow," comments Despiadado.
My scar. The branding. I won't let him see that. If he see's it, he'll think I'm his. I won't let that happen. I can't. I fight the panic wanting to rise up in me and I control it to give myself a burst of strength. I successfully move his hand up, moving the dagger away from me. My success doesn't last long however as he uses his other hand to push my hand down on the floor and using the dagger he previously threatened me with to pin my arm down by my sleeve. I try to pull my arm up but I'm unsuccessful. Now I have both of my arms pinned down while he has control of both daggers. I try to control myself. Control my breath. Control my emotions. I can't lose it otherwise it's over. But the closer his hand gets to my eye, the harder it is for me to breath normally and calm my heart. I can't even think straight. I try to move my head back out of his reach in a desperate attempt as I try to push my arms free with all of my might.
"Shh…. Shh…" hushes Despiadado like I'm a wild animal he's trying to calm down.
He uses the tip of my own dagger to move my hair back. His eyes widen in shock and fascination while my heart plummets.
"Now that's interesting….. I don't remember marking you…. or anyone for that matter," remarks Despiadado leaning forward for a closer inspection.
While I may be able to see, the scar that he puts there remains. He lightly traces the shape of the D with 3 long lines with his dagger. The touch is light and barely even there and yet I have to push back the memories of him holding me down and stabbing the same dagger through me as a punishment and a branding. For me to remember, I will always be under his control and there's no escape from that. My breathing quickens but he doesn't notice it as he carefully scrutinises the mark he himself left behind. He then blinks looking down at my dagger in his hand, bringing the dagger away from my face. He looks at it carefully before he looks at the same dagger that is pinning my arm down. He observes the design and crest on there.
"They're the same," realises Despiadado still hunched forward.
I can't let him make the link. While he's distracted I throw my head forward and I head butt him in the nose. He recoils immediately and drops the dagger, moving back freeing an arm. I ignore the pain that is coursing through my head and I grab my dagger. While myself mostly free, I push forward and rip my jacket, freeing my other arm as I throw my whole body forward. Despiadado scrambles back further and I go in for the kill but he see's through the pain and he rolls to the side just in time. My dagger goes into the floor and while I yank it out, it gives him time to grab the dagger I left behind and stand up. I spin quickly unwilling to put my back to the enemy. I see that wisely he's put some distance between us. But despite the blood pouring down his nose, he laughs loudly to my irritation as I stand up straight. Debris around us of what use to be the jail room.
"Of course!" laughs Despiadado looking at me with wide eyes.
He observes me from head to toe, really looking at me like it's the first time.
"You already knew about the machine because you've been through it! My dagger! You have my dagger! It's not a replica! It's the same one! It's mine from another world!" exclaims Despiadado piecing everything together.
I cautiously stay back not wanting to get close without a plan.
"My mark on your face, despite the fact I've never seen you before. Of course! And your eyes… eyes so familiar. So bloodthirsty. The same as mine," continues Despiadado.
I let out the growl in anger that I can't contain.
"The way you fight as well. There's no mistaking it. You're my daughter," breathes out Despiadado.
My reaction is immediate.
"I am not your daughter," I snap out.
"Oh ho…. denial. So something went wrong. The other me made a mistake. You know... me and him, we're different. I could give you the approval you've always wanted," tries Despiadado.
"I am not a child seeking the approval of a parent!" I announce, lunging forward and swinging.
He goes on the defensive, jumping back and blocking every swing I throw. I know why, he wants to observe me up close and it only serves to enrage me further.
"Come on, you must do. I don't give out approval so easily. It must of been something you craved," counters Despiadado calmly as he blocks a strike.
That's true. At one time, it's all I wanted until I saw him for what he really is: a monster.
"I already had his approval. I don't want it," I admit, throwing a kick in but he dodges jumping back putting distance between us.
He stays silent observing me as I dive forward to attack.
"No… That look in your eyes. You hate me. Truly and utterly," realises Despiadado blocking my attack.
"You know why you hate me, don't you?" asks Despiadado as he continues to talk to my dismay.
I stay silent to him focusing on trying to land a hit. There's hundreds of reasons. He's a monster, cruel, sadistic, the list goes on.
"There's a fine line between love and hate. Two sides of the same coin. You hate me so much. So passionately. Which means…. you must have really loved me," observes Despiadado calmly.
That strikes a cord in me.
"SHUT UP!" I shout in rage but I make a mistake in my anger.
I put my whole strength in one attack which means when he moves to the side, I go straight past him. I fall forward but I turn it into a flip, pressing my hand to the floor and flipping with a twist so my back isn't to him. As soon as I land, we both lunge forward before we both come to a halt feeling the tip of a dagger. My dagger is at his chest whilst his is at my stomach.
"You've turned that love into hate. And you hate me so much," states Despiadado.
I don't bother to try and conceal my hate. He already knows now whether I try to hide it or not. My eyes burn with cold hatred.
"It doesn't have to be this way. I've taught you everything you know, you can't defeat me," comments Despiadado.
"I already did," I counter.
"But that didn't satisfy you, did it?" questions Despiadado.
"His death was too quick, yours won't be," I vow.
"My death, even a slow one, won't satisfy you. What you need is a purpose, I can give you that," promises Despiadado.
"I can give you what you want and more. A real father, I can direct your hatred into something else. You've already had training. You managed to conceal your motives and emotions from me for a long time. You're clever, brilliant even. We can use that. We can be partners, equal to each other. Just think of everything we can do together. We can be a real father and daughter. This is your second chance," tries Despiadado but instead of the desired result, I let out a low chuckle.
"You can't manipulate me. I know your every trick. You raised me. The only thing I want is your heart to stop beating for eternity," I resolve.
Despiadado's eyes narrow, knowing I won't be swayed.
"If you move even an inch to kill me, my blade will pierce you," warns Despiadado.
I smirk which throws him off.
"I know," I admit before I lean forward, his dagger pierces through my stomach.
He moves to the right with his quick reflexes but he's not fast enough as I stab his upper right chest.
"Don't underestimate me…" I warn as he jolts back with his dagger.
"…. I am your daughter," I finish, ignoring my pain, glaring at him with a smirk.
I see him look at me with a glare, realising I won't be manipulated and now he see's me as a true threat as he puts his hand to his wound. Now that is slightly satisfying; seeing alarm in his eyes for once. I move quickly, quicker than he expects as he flinches back. He swings forward expecting to block my attack but I don't go to swing to kill this time, I swing to stop his blade making him confused before I continue, not slowing down, bringing my knee up and diving it in his stomach. He exhales sharply winded as he flies backwards, head ducked. I go in to kick him across the face but he reacts quickly blocking with his arms in a cross. The force of my kick makes him drop his dagger. I'm not surprised that he blocked while still recovering. After all, he taught me that my enemies may attack me relentlessly. I need to be prepared to block while I'm recovering. I move my leg back quickly, normally I would leave it there as a distraction as I move on to the next attack but knowing him, he would grab my leg. As I pull my leg back I spin and duck down, using the same leg, I sweep his feet. The momentum of the spin gives me enough force for it to work and he lands on his back. I put my foot on his neck and apply pressure. Not enough to kill him but enough for him to start choking. His hands rush to my leg but he can't budge it. No speeches. No goodbyes. Not another breath wasted.
"Shadow! Stop!" shouts a voice.
Lennox…
I clench my fist and hold my dagger tighter. I didn't realise that through all the fighting and my utter focus on Despiadado that a wall is missing, giving the outside view to us. Lennox is standing close and I can vaguely hear stomping feet of giant beings. Ironhide must be fighting a Decepticon nearby. That must be what destroyed the wall.
"Don't try to stop me Lennox. He deserves this," I order him.
Lennox draws closer but his hands are in a surrender sign as he cautiously takes slow steps forward.
"I'm not going to let you kill your own father," resolves Lennox firmly.
"And why not?" I ask bitterly, applying more pressure to Despiadado's neck.
"Because deep down, whether you admit it or not, this is hurting you," states Lennox as I keep my eyes on Despiadado's red face as he tries to gasp for air.
"He is the cause of all of my pain and suffering," I counter.
"And did killing him help the first time?" questions another voice.
Prime….
I don't dare look up to Prime but Despiadado craned his head back with wide eyes to see the large Autobot.
No…. it didn't. But I don't dare say that out loud.
"I can't live in a world where he walks on it," I admit.
"Revenge is never the answer. It's solemn as it seems," says Prime.
"No? Then what's the answer?" I ask my voice cracking.
"To let a mass murderer go? So he can manipulate and kill and ruin more lives?" I continue to ask, my voice breaking even more.
"You have a justice system in pl-" starts Prime but I dare to cut him off with a scoff.
"So he can serve half his time because he cheats the system? And that's if he doesn't escape. The justice system is broken," I oppose.
"It is not your choice on who lives and who dies," counters Prime.
"This is my choice! Right here and right now! I can choose to let him walk away. To spare the person who tortured me, made me kill, who branded me like an object and blinded me when he should have been looking after me. No! I won't do that!" I snap out, frustrated.
My eyes burn from the dust in the air or maybe it's because I'm holding back tears. I can't tell.
"Don't become like him," pleas Lennox.
"You're trying to save the damned… And it's too late," I admit in a quieter voice.
"If you want to stop me, you're going to have to shoot me because I won't stop until he's dead," I declare.
I know they won't shoot me. Attachments work both ways, don't they? That's what they said, right? Despiadado's struggles have weaken but he's still conscious….. barely. Good. I want him to see this. I raise the dagger ready but I'm not prepared for what happens next. Lennox tackles me to ground. I barely register Dspiadado's deep gasps and coughs. I wince in pain from my wounded stomach. I turn around but Lennox is back on top of me. I swing my dagger at him in blind rage but he catches my wrist and pin it to the ground. I try to fight him with my free arm.
"That's enough!" demands Lennox.
"No!" I yell out in desperation trying to fight him off me but with my wound and his weight on top of me there's not much I can do.
"He's getting away!" I shout as I tilt my head back to see Despiadado starting to stand as he coughs.
Lennox has caught both of my wrists at this point.
"You need to stop. You're bleeding," states Lennox in a calm but firm voice.
"I don't care! I'll never forgive you for this Lennox! Never!" I declare as I struggle.
"Shadow! That's enough!" shouts Lennox as he brings my wrists up and back down.
The result is as desired and I stop. Not realising the tears down my face in a mix of emotions: Rage, frustration, sorrow. I breathe heavily as I want to sob.
"That's enough…." says Lennox weakly.
I look into his eyes and I can see the pain in them. He looks down at me with his own emotions. Sadness and frustration. My resolve weakens.
"You can hate me forever if that's what you want… That's fine. But I won't let you go through this again," declares Lennox, his voice is soft but I know he's determined.
Damn him….. why is he so…..? Why is he so determined to save what's been lost? No, I won't let him get away.
I bring my legs up around Lennox, ignoring the pain and I flip us around. Before Lennox can comprehend what's happened, I take off running, dagger in hand. I can see Despiadado running not too far. He's going to get away. I bring my arm back ready to throw when large fingers engulf me. I gasp at the pain, dropping my dagger involuntary. My wound throbbing. I struggle and shout.
"No! Let me go! Let me down!" I yell out but it's no use.
"You can stop now Violet…. You can stop," says a different voice.
A voice so soft I don't recognise it at first: Ironhide.
Ironhide is the one whose holding me.
"No! Put me down! I said put me down!" I order in hysterics.
His blue optics shine down on me and I can see the same sadness in them.
"Ironhide, keep hold of Shadow until she calms down," orders Prime looking at me.
"No!" I scream, struggling more despite the huge drop.
I curse both of them. I even threaten but it does nothing but make my throat sore and raw. I turn my head trying to see Despiadado. Abruptly, I hear a loud engine noise. The Autobots also notices it and turns just in time to see Starscream flies past but as he does, he picks up Despiadado. Ironhide turns his free hand into a weapon and so does Prime. I don't even have the voice to shout. I don't even know what I would say. Should I be relieved that he's in the hands of a villain himself? Starscream transforms a little away.
"You have your pets, Prime. I have mine," states Starscream smugly, looking at us all.
It's then that I notice that Despiadado is not alarmed by seeing Starscream or even by the fact that Starscream is holding him. Then it clicks, he's known all along. Despiadado has been working with the Decepticons. Starscreams optics narrow on me.
"Tick tock, if you want to save our newest addition. There's not much time left and from the looks of our previous experiments, it looks like a painful death is in store," states Starscream before he transforms taking off.
Ironhide aims for the seeker but his shots are off much to my disappointment. My shoulders slump all of my energy and resistance gone. It's over….. Despiadado got away.
After we got back from the prison, I slam Ironhide's door to show him I'm still seething. Lennox has tried to talk to me on the way back but I stayed silent, ignoring him looking out the window the whole way.
I was so close.
"Vi!" calls Lennox as I walk away towards the base.
"Violet," calls Ironhide as the rest of the Autobots meet us and transforms but I ignore all of them.
"You can't stay mad forever," calls out Lennox.
I nearly stop at his words, unable to ignore them.
"The hell I can't!" I shout over my shoulder as I continue to storm off.
"Woah…. What happened?" questions Sideswipe curious.
"Violet, you are distressed," observes Ratchet.
You think?!
"We've had a disagreement about something," answers Lennox calmly.
I whirl round at that.
"You had no right!" I yell.
Everyone freezes at that. All the activity around us. The soldiers around us who are going from one destination to another. They stop at my shout to look but I couldn't care less. I look from Lennox to the other 2 bots who were there: Prime and Ironhide.
"…..None of you did," I state in a quieter tone.
They all interfered. And now the man who caused only pain in my life is free and deep down that scares me. While he's alive, there'll always be a chance that he'll have me in his grasp. That I'll be controlled again. His words continue to haunt me. That the hate I have was once love. That I hate him so much because I use to love him that much. No… That can't be right.
"Vi, listen-" starts Lennox but I cut him off.
"No! No. I'm done listening… I'm done…." I state firmly before my voice drops and my sentence dies.
I'm done…. that was my only lead. My only chance. The USB was destroyed in the fight. I've lost what I was using to track the machine. I feel Ratchet scan over me suddenly while Sideswipe's optics widen.
"Vi….. you're leaking," says Sideswipe shocked.
I look down to my stomach where it's all red.
"It's dried Sideswipe. I'm fine," I say detached.
"You're nanites have already completely healed you. They're getting quicker," comments Ratchet with underlying concern, but I don't care about the worry he has for me.
I begin to walk away again but with less anger.
"Shadow, if you could join me in the med bay," requests Ratchet.
"Not today Ratchet….. Not today," I sigh tiredly.
I feel drained of my energy and yet at the same time if anyone would say the wrong thing to me, I know I would snap.
"What the pit happened?" asks Sunstreaker seeing my mood go from dangerously angry to a tired, defeated tone.
"Ask them," I say venomously pointing my head towards the 3 as I continue to walk away.
I need some type of escape and while I would normally train, I'm too tired. My second option would be riding my bike but I can't so I need to find another way to cope. To cope with drowning.
Emotions: Anger, sorrow, rage and sadness. It's all so hard for me to get on top on. It feels like I'm drowning. No….. suffocating. These negative emotions envelope me. It's a whirlwind and a flood at the same time. I can't breathe. It overpowers me and yet…. that is all I've allowed myself to feel for so long. I don't know how to feel anything else. How do I function? Without these emotions, I'm empty and yet with them, I can never be happy. I can't let go of the hate and anger because without them, who am I? Pain and rage are my motivation and without them I can't stand. I can't move forward. I can't let them go. I don't want to let go of all of the pain and suffering, hate and anger because without them, what's left? I would rather take the drowning, the suffocating, the pain and anger than let it go. Because I can't cope with pain on its own. I rather it be accompanied by these overpowering negative emotions. Because without it all... who am I but a child feeling the scars of the past?