A/N - Slightly shorter chapter to set the pace, and I'm sorry for the slower updates for this story.

II - SHOT OF SPACE

"People never notice anything."

— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

JANUARY 6, 2010

...

Callie was at her desk on a very sunny afternoon when she thought of Arizona again.

It really was a nice night.

She considered Arizona a friend, even though they didn't keep in touch like they promised they would. She was pretty sure that she probably cared about Arizona more then she cared about her. It was her only one-night stand, after all. It was never her kind to go out and wake up beside a stranger.

Callie had given a lot people a little too much of herself. And now, she was running around with only half of herself, grasping at comfort with thin hands, hoping that not one more person would walk away, but never saying it out loud.

She didn't want to admit that she was part of her own destruction for a long time. She only did what she thought would make everyone else happier. She tried her best, she really did.

It didn't work out sometimes, and it hurt sometimes, but she just told herself, nothing was easy in life anyway, right?

She drank her coffee and passed her exams. She went out with friends and she made bad jokes. But she decided to stay away from falling for love again. It wasn't that she didn't want a relationship, she just didn't want a relationship where anyone would do.

Medical school was flying by so fast. She didn't know if she was happy about that or not. It was what everyone wanted of the last bits of school life, wasn't it? They howled about the white nights and stacks of papers, but when they really stepped away from that grey building for the last time, there was always that horrible feeling of emptiness.

Anatomy labs, the stench of cleaning alcohol and beef jerky, weird medical words filtering into her vocabulary…this wasn't the most romantic version of a university life, but it was her's. These last months, she had the impression that all she did was fill charts and administrative crap for graduation. She didn't hate it. She just never knew that these years would be so short.

She had all this future waiting for her now.

Callie was almost sure she would miss it. Cristina too, studying alongside her, swinging in tequila, even if she complained too much and partied irresponsibly…Callie was sure that she would learn to miss these busy years eventually.

Maybe living in everyone else's judgements of her should count as a disrespect to herself.

Eloquently said, she was growing for herself and no one else.

Honestly said, she was so fucking terrified of getting hurt, but she still wanted to love.

…

Arizona had relationships now. She worked to get rid of the bad habit of having such an impressive line of one-night stands. She tried to be mature. She tried to snap at interns less.

Seattle rained a lot still. The only out of ordinary thing that happened was Mark Sloan getting a job at Seattle Grace. She remembered him. She had saw how he danced with Callie in the bar months ago. But he was in plastics and she was in pediatrics, so they were polite coworkers, and it stopped there.

Apart from that, life went on.

She went on dates with girls who had too much lipstick on. But none of them felt worthy or much of the same thing that she heard people sing out and write movies of. Arizona committed, and Arizona was really trying to do the right, mature, thing. She told girls she loved them after two rounds of sex and five shots. She let herself be caught up in their dramatic lives, and she accepted it. She met their parents and then she broke up with them over silly things.

She often wondered if this was all that love could look like.

Maybe this was really all there was.

Sometimes, she relapsed and went to a bar to pick up a one-night stand again. And then the morning after, she would smoke a cigarette and feel the sticky guilt all over.

The only time she crashed downwards and didn't give a shit was the night she got the call that told her Nick had passed away. She didn't remember much of anything about that night except for a weight on her head and a numbness on her hands. And vodka.

Arizona didn't even like vodka.

But now, it had been so long since she had felt the urge to go out and do something that television shows idolize, just to convince herself that she was at least in some dimension, living out a life worth remembering.

It was just that one day after her intern exam, she had settled down and begun taking herself seriously. Almost as if out of nowhere.

Not with someone, no, that wasn't the only way to settle down. She would be nice and busy with her residency, and although she guessed she were a little harsh and shark-like at times, she was excelling. She made friends, Teddy and some sort of weird love-hate relationship with her so-called mentor, Doctor Herman. At least, that was what she was supposed to call her teacher, by her orders. Usually, she called her Nicole and earned a couple glares.

And as she once promised in a lonely motel room, she hadn't forgotten Callie. She really loved the conversations they'd had that night, and she really liked the 'Arizona' she had become after that night.

To be honest, Arizona couldn't remember half the things they had talked about, but she remembered that it was nice. Really nice.

And she loved that one night so much, even though she'd long lost the exactitude of Callie's face in her memories. She couldn't remember which shade of brown Callie's eyes were, even though she'd spent hours that night looking into them and whispering words never to be listened to again. But she remembered that Callie liked to chew her cheek when she was thinking and that she had nice hands. And the way Callie's heart seemed to spill over her ribcage, in such deafening contrast to her own. It reached out to anyone who didn't look like they had nearly enough courage to let their own chests open up and spill over the same way.

A shame they didn't stay so much in touch.

But oh well, all the best to her.

…

"Arizona?"

"Yeah, that chick you went home with back when you were about to leave Seattle. She works with me now."

Callie smiled. "Oh yeah. That was a nice night."

"A nice night?" Mark and Cristina both raised their eyebrows simultaneously, making Callie widen her eyes and chuckle.

"Yeah. A nice night. And I'm sure she's a very good doctor."

"Okay…" Cristina drawled, looking at Mark. Mark looked back at her, performing some sort of telepathic message that made Callie feel very judged.

"What?"

Mark shrugged, looking back at her. "Nothing. You just don't really do casual and one-nighters. We were both surprised when we learnt, that's all."

"Exactly," Cristina said, "And that's good. You're better than us. We just, I don't know, want you to be okay. That's all."

Callie surveyed the both of them incredulously. "Oh my god." She giggled. "Are you two getting all mushy on me?"

"No!" "Hell nah!"

Callie laughed at Mark and Cristina's offended expressions, and hopped off the couch, sauntering back to the coffee machine, mug in her hands. "It's fine. It's cute. Sweet." She chuckled to herself as the walls of the kitchen blocked out their muffled protests and took out the bag of coffee beans on her tip toes.

She poured the beans into the grinder and turned the handle absentmindedly.

Arizona was only a blurry face, even now that Callie was back in Seattle. She would be lying if she said she didn't think about Arizona from time to time, because, really, it was a hell of a good night. She'd had, like, only two one-nighters her whole life after all. Arizona wasn't very hard to remember, and she didn't expect the same from Arizona, and it was okay. She couldn't remember Arizona's voice, but she could hear the words they'd shared in the early hours of the shy light creeping up from the horizons.

Callie poured the coffee powder into the filter and heated the water.

Arizona had blue eyes. She couldn't remember their shade or what they could remind her of, but she knew they were blue. She had blonde hair, and they were shorter than Callie's. A blurry face with a way of looking at Callie that made her feel special. It made Callie feel like the only one alive. It made Callie feel like she mattered.

Callie flung the wet filter into the trash can and stepped back into the living room.

She had to be graduating med school in two weeks. She needed to study and cram and go out drinking.

…

Cristina stared long and hard at the "Seattle Grace Mercy West."

"We're going to get in," Callie murmured, "We've got to get in."

The march rain peltered the window and the two girls in their cramped apartment refreshed their pages incessantly.

The screen lit up.

And terribly loud screams filled the small room.

Well, Seattle Grace Mercy West was waiting for them now.

July was only four months away.

…

Flying caps, crisp certificates, and shouting. Callie and Cristina graduated from medical school on a hot and slightly cloudy day. The buzzy taste of champagne stayed in on their tongues for days on end.

Terrible first dates, ramen for dinner and breakfast at two in the morning. The summer after graduation was as messy as a summer can be.

"Do you think it will always be this rush of todays and tomorrows?"

Callie thought for a moment. Cristina looked at the ceiling, hungry. "I don't think so. I think it'll calm down one day. I hope so."

"One day," Cristina continued, "Very far away."

"Yup."

Between handling administrative crap and stressing for the intern mixer, Callie squeezed out the thin courage to go out on a couple dates. Not very bad, not very special.

Except for one guy who had spilled his red wine down her shirt. He wasn't very nice.

These days were not very good, but they were not terrible. Between the phone calls and stress and falling hair, they had game nights and stupid movie reruns, drowning in tequila. From time to time, she'd get frustrated and stay in for a whole day and throw a pillow at the locked bedroom door when Cristina came knocking. She thought that being young would be many things, crazy nights out and windows down, rolling on the freeway. She underestimated med school.

There were many times she doubted she'd hold out for another six years of residency.

And then either Cristina or Mark would conk her on the head and tell her to brighten up and get her crap together.

They kept moving forward. These days flowing by do not wait for anyone.