Here we go!

Enjoy!

January 2nd, 2021

A record deal. A record deal… That thought was on repeat the entire drive back from The Grand Vastaya to my house. I needed to land one this year. Within the first two months of 2021.

I had to do it.

I parked Eunkyung's car in the garage, and, as I locked the car, I stared at it.

Learning to drive with amaxophobia was a strange feeling. The first day was spent doing nothing but getting comfortable actually sitting in the driver's seat, having my hands on the wheel and my foot on the gas. Getting over the initial rush of fear and anxiety was the hardest part, in all honesty. With a little encouragement and help from Lux, I managed to break through that barrier.

"You can do it," Lux encouraged as she sat in the passenger seat, her thumb up and her smile wide.

"You know, technically this isn't even legal."

She rolled her eyes. "You're twenty-two, Jae. The fact that you still don't know how to drive shouldn't be legal. But you're a special case, so we let it slide.."

I smirked. "Not gonna deny that, but… y'know. Trauma."

Lux nodded. "Like I said: special case."

Then, we started to drive.

Now driving itself?

That was fun.

I picked up on it rather quickly.

According to Lux, I "drove like it was a game." Though, I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing. And Lux didn't seem too keen on giving me an answer either. Nevertheless, after a few days' practice driving alongside Lux, she told me that she believed I was ready to drive alone.

Much to my own surprise, I found myself agreeing with her. There were some days where I actually wanted to drive alone instead of with Lux.

And tonight was the first time that I'd driven alone.

A success, especially because I made it home safely.

Mom and Dad. Thanks for watching over me.

Sitting on the couch of the living room, her laptop resting on her lap, a textbook along with a highlighter beside her, Eunkyung glanced up at me as I walked through the front door still dressed in uniform from The Grand Vastaya. "Welcome home," she said.

"Hey," I replied, walking over to the table and hanging my coat on the back of a nearby chair. While I was there, I dropped Eunkyung's keys beside the black smiley-mug she set on the coffee table. "Did you make dinner?" I asked as I moved towards the refrigerator.

"Yeah. It's in the fridge."

"Thanks." I popped open the fridge door. I spotted the container of food that Eunkyung prepared, then I noticed that it was still completely filled. "Did you eat?"

"Nope," she replied, popping the 'p.'

"Noona." I sighed. "You need to eat."

Promptly, Eunkyung picked up her laptop and moved it to the table. "I wanted to wait for you."

"I appreciate the sentiment," I said. "But I don't want you to starve yourself while waiting for me to get back from a closing shift."

"It's a good thing you're lowering your hours then, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes and began to take out the food that Eunkyung cooked. As I reheated the food, she gathered up plates and utensils for the both of us. Then, she returned to the table and placed the dishes on the table before turning her attention back to her laptop.

"Got a new case?" I asked, watching as the food slowly turned in the microwave.

"Yeah. And they actually want me in the courtroom this time."

"Wait. Really?"

"Yeah." Eunkyung glanced up at me. Hurt flashed across her features. "It's Caitlyn's case."

"Oh."

"That's what I said when I got the file dropped on my desk." Eunkyung sighed. "I can't disclose anything, but let's just say that it won't be the reunion I thought we would get."

I chuckled slightly at that. "Can't say I ever thought you two would even get a reunion." The microwave beeped, signalling the food's completion.

"Yeah, well…" Eunkyung trailed off, closing her laptop. "I've had it with this case. I'll finish the rest tomorrow." She placed her arms on the table and laid her head on the surface. "What about you? Any plans for the new year? Any resolutions you want to make?"

"Probably gonna start making music again," I said as I took the food to the table before taking a seat across from Eunkyung. "Means I gotta take my instruments out of the closet."

She hummed.

I raised a brow at her. "I told you my plan, right?"

"Record deal by February?" She checked.

"Yeah."

"And you're serious this time?"

"Yes. I am," I replied genuinely. "I think I'm ready for it."

Eunkyung nodded once. "Finally."

"Finally?"

"Because I'm tired of you changing your mind all the time."

[;]

January 9th, 2021

I stared at my closet door, my hands on my hips as I let out a deep sigh. It'd been about four months since I so much as touched an instrument, and as strange as it was to say, I felt a bit of trepidation at the idea of playing again. Producing again. Making music again.

I slid open the closet door and began to haul my instruments out from the closet. One by one, I placed them beside my bed.

"Missed you guys," I said, looking down at the instrument cases. "Hope you're all not too mad at me." Then, I dusted off their places beneath or on top of my desk before returning them to their homes. It's strange. As nervous as I was to take them out, it looked right seeing all of my instruments there.

No time like the present. I walked over to my desk, rewiring everything that I'd unplugged back in October, turning my computer back into what it was meant to be: a home studio. With all of my instruments hooked up, there was nothing left to do but make the music itself.

I sat down before my computer and opened up Ableton. Seeing the all-too familiar interface was like coming back home after a year away. It felt good. I stared at the interface, re-acquainting myself with all of the buttons and the menus that I had once known like the back of my hand.

There were some things in life that you just couldn't forget.

And more often than not, those things were the things that you loved the most.

I gently placed my fingers on the keys of the piano. I gently shut my eyes and let my feelings guide my playing.

And…

And nothing came out.

My fingers traced the keys, but despite how well I knew the piano, despite how long I'd been playing it, despite how right it felt to sit before a piano once again, I couldn't play.

[;]

January 16th, 2021

The first week that I returned to music was a mess. I hadn't gotten anything done. I didn't produce a single song. I dedicated the entire day to relearning every single one of my instruments, to familiarizing myself with them once again, and to play them to a point where I was satisfied with it.

A musician was nothing without their instruments, no matter what the instrument was. And for me, if I couldn't play the piano at the level that I personally expected out of myself, then I was not ready to produce anything.

Fortunately, with a dedicated practice each day, I'd returned to form. As expected, it was much easier to relearn an instrument than it was to learn it from scratch. Especially since I'd had so much practice on the piano beforehand.

Now, however, I was finally ready to produce again. I stared at the computer screen, Ableton loaded up, my MIDI keyboard before me, and my headphones over my ears.

But I struggled to even do something as simple as start producing.

There wasn't even a modicum of inspiration within me that I could pull from. There wasn't anything I wanted to play around. There wasn't anything that I wanted to write about. There wasn't anything that I wanted to sing about.

It was like there was something blocking me from playing, from producing, from making music.

I let out a sigh. I'll try again tomorrow.

[;]

January 23rd, 2021

The week after, I had slightly more success. I found a process that worked for me, especially when I was struggling to even find things to write about. As it turned out, finding something to write about was a lot harder than creating the instrumentals for a song that would give me something to write about.

It was the closest I'd come to producing music for Professor Laurent's class in the last year and a half. What started as a collection of purely instrumental songs slowly became a collection of half-written songs about love, heartbreak, and what could have been. And inspiration struck me at the most random of times, at moments where I couldn't even explain where I found the inspiration.

During one of my morning shifts at the Vastaya, I saw Rakan in his office, fixing the time that was displayed on his clock. He was rewinding the time, turning the clock backwards instead of forwards.

"Something on your mind?" Rakan asked.

"The clock. Why rewind it instead of go forward?"

Rakan set the clock down. "There's something therapeutic about doing it that way." He smiled slightly. "We're humans. No matter how much we want to, we can't ever hit rewind." He placed a hand on the top of the clock. "So, by making this little thing go backwards, it makes me feel like I've got a bit of control over time."

And, from that simple conversation, came a four-and-a-half minute song titled "Brokenhearted; Sunset." After that shift, I drove home as quickly as I could, and wrote and recorded the song in one day. It all came so naturally to me. The lyrics. The instrument choices. The structure. The sound. The process.

The song itself began with the pitter-patter of rain against a windowsill and the soft, warm notes of a piano. "How can I hit rewind, so I could find a reason why, you would leave with no goodbye, no apology. Our future left behind," I sang. "Three years of my life just gone, and I can't seem to find the moment you realized I'm not the one, and walked right out the doorway. We were good until we weren't, now I'm facedown in our apartment, wondering why you'd ever wanna leave me broken hearted..."

The simplicity of the instrumentals up to the first chorus allowed the rest of the song to enter a slow crescendo. Instruments were slowly added to thicken the texture. The long, sorrowful drones of a cello, and the reflective violin notes both carried the song into an instrumental break that went on for a full minute. "Three years of my life just gone, and I can't seem to find the moment you realized I'm not the one, and walked right out the doorway. We were good until we weren't, and now I'm facedown in our apartment… Wondering why you'd ever wanna leave me brokenhearted."

As the song came to a close, I let out a small sigh of relief. It was a good song. Not so much for performing live, but it was a good radio song. Without a second thought, I posted it to every internet forum, social media site, and online streaming platform that I knew of.

And that was a routine I continued for every single song that I wrote during the last two weeks.

[;]

Along the road up to Hollywood Hills, there was a small and thin pathway that skirted around and up the side of the hill. It led to a small, isolated area where a single bench was shaded by a tall willow tree. And if you sat on the bench, you got a perfect view of the Los Angeles skyline. Every inch of it was visible to the naked eye, from the Wilshire building, to Santa Monica Pier, to the edge of L.A. county, it was all there.

I discovered it on pure accident while going on one of my morning runs. And lately, it was where I spent a lot of my free time.

It was my safe haven.

My break from the rest of the world.

My solace.

It was where I wrote a lot of my songs.

After I stumbled upon it, I soon realized just how desperately I needed a place like this. A place that let me disconnect, a place where no one would find me, a place that let me be lazy. I'd even gone as far as taking a few short naps on the bench beneath the tree, not setting an alarm and just letting the time tick by.

I'd grown to realize just how important time to myself was. Working myself to the bone was, ultimately, unproductive. And taking time out of my day to do nothing saved me from that. Well, I say, "do nothing," but really, I'm still working. Working on my music. Working on my craft. Working on my writing. Working on my guitar-playing.

I stared up at the sky. Guess I'm still a work-a-holic, huh?

[;]

January 25th, 2021

I looked out onto the small crowd of people that my singing had attracted. Even through the masks that we wore, even through COVID, people in L.A. still found the time to watch and listen to a street musician. And it was heartwarming.

"Thank you all for listening," I said into the microphone. "This next one's an original."

There was a set of small cheers and a few claps. People began to take out their phones, patiently waiting for me to start singing.

I glanced down at my guitar and made sure that everything was plugged in correctly. I cleared my throat, settling my fingers on the strings of the guitar. Then, I began to play. "I know you feel bad about it, but please don't show up uninvited. 'Cause I still feel like I'm your person, and it gets worse when you're around."

I gently shut my eyes and swayed to the rhythm of the song. "'Cause you never stopped being all that I want, but I can't move on with you in my arms. I know what I've said but I can't pretend like we can be friends anymore." I momentarily paused. Then, with the audience's bated breath, I continued. "I need to be lonely without you, I know that you only mean well. But I'm not used to being without you. Have to learn to be lonely myself. 'Cause all is said and all is done. It will be better for both of us, if you stopped tryna help and we kept to ourselves. For now, for now…"

The rest of the song continued, and the crowd only grew bigger. Everyone kept their distance from each other, but there were enough people now that the crowd itself was drawing eyes. "It will be better for both of us, if you stopped tryna help and we kept to ourselves. For now, for now…"

The previously small cheers and claps had grown into a bunch of yelps and exclamations. People eagerly stepped forward and placed bills and coins into my open guitar case. My heart swelled. "Thank you," I whispered into the microphone. "Thank you all so much for listening to me sing."

"Thank you for letting us listen to you, kid," said a man dressed in high-quality streetwear. His large, dark brown hair was tied back in an almost fantastical ponytail. He had a bandana-like mask drawn up to his nose and he placed a fifty dollar bill into my hand. "Take care of yourself. And keep singing. You have talent."

"Oh. I…" I stared at the money, wide-eyed. "I can't accept this, sir. This is so much— it's too much."

He waved his hand dismissively. "Believe me, kid. It's nothing compared to what your singing is worth." He grinned, then, spun on his heel as he waved back at me. "Have a good night!" The man's large ponytail bobbed along with his footsteps.

His hair sorta looks like a big paintbrush. I smirked slightly, but as I held the money he'd given to me, my smile grew. It's good to know someone has faith in you. I pocketed the money, then, looked back out towards the crowd.

"This next one is a song that everyone should know," I said into the mic. I readjusted the strings on my guitar and repositioned the tab before putting my hand on its neck. Calmly, I began to strum out a familiar set of chords. "Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes. But it's the only thing that I know…"

[;]

"Not sure if I should be surprised that I'm seeing videos of you pop up on my feed," Lux said as her phone speaker played a video of me singing. "But here I am, surprised."

Lux and I sat beside one another on the bed chuckled. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

Lux smirked and raised a brow. "Depends on how successful you'll be in the next year."

I faked a hurt look, lightly nudging her side with my elbow. "Rude."

Lux rolled her eyes. Then, she adjusted herself to face me. "Any luck with a recording company?"

"None yet." I sighed. "But I'm confident that I'll get an offer soon." I tried a smile. "After all, I'm a pretty talented person."

Lux nodded, grinning widely. "You're right. You are. And I have no doubt that your talent will take you to great places, Jae."

"Thank you, Lux," I said. "Genuinely. Thanks for keeping me sane."

"It's not like you're not keeping me sane too. So, thank you for that."

"It's just a showing-gratitude kinda night tonight?" I asked jokingly.

"That should be every night."

"Agreed."

[;]

February 1st, 2021

"No sleep, you stay silent with your back to me. Just like nose bleeds, we keep running 'till we both come clean." I strummed at my guitar, my eyes shut as I sang. "Round and round we go, fading out like some, nothing her love worth saving. Think it's time we talk, both know what you want, right now we need to face it. Come on!" I pulled back from the mic and chose to let the crowd sing the song along with me. It wasn't the first time I'd performed it for them, and from what I could tell, most of them seemed to know the lyrics.

The crowd sang along with me. "This ain't love, let's be honest. You and me don't know a thing about love, and I don't want it." Everyone was on their feet now, and if they weren't singing, they were swaying along to the music. "I made my peace, don't make me think about…"

"About lo-o-ove, about lo-o-ove, love. Think about love. About lo-o-ove, about lo-o-ove. Don't make me think about love!"

I looked out at the crowd. Sure, it wasn't a fifty-thousand person stadium, but everyone here today was here for me. To support me. It probably sounded a lot more self-absorbed than it felt, but seeing everyone here, everyone singing along, everyone dancing along, there was something about it that brought life to me.

I waved a hand in the air. "Thank you!" I said in the microphone, pulling it close with my other hand. "That'll be all from me for tonight."

There was a chorus of complaints.

"I know, I want to keep going too. But it's pretty late and I want everyone here to get home safely." I grinned. "I'll be here in two days, as usual. Thank you all for listening to my songs."

And slowly, one by one, the crowd dispersed and went their separate ways, leaving me to clean up my belongings. I absentmindedly hummed the song as I cleaned, packing my guitar away, folding up my mic stand, and wrapping the wire around the mic itself.

"Need a hand?"

I turned around to face a woman with fiery red hair, her hands on her hips, and her steely-blue eyes flashing with mischief. She wore a black leather jacket over a white shirt that was loosely tucked into a pair of dark jeans.

"It's alright," I replied as I slung my guitar case over my shoulder and picked up my microphone case and stand. "I appreciate the offer."

"Well," the woman began, walking over to the speaker. "For starters, you might want to unplug the microphone from the speaker before you begin walking away."

"Oh." I pursed my lips. "Oops."

She laughed heartily, fully. "Let me help." She unplugged the wire and, with surprising ease, lifted the speaker and motioned with her head towards me. "I'll follow your lead."

True to her word, the woman fell into step behind me as I walked to Eunkyung's car. I popped open the trunk and placed everything inside, motioning to where the speaker should go. After the lady kindly placed the speaker on its back, she turned to me with a hand in her pocket.

"The name's Sarah Fortune," she said, handing me a business card. "That was a pretty good show you put on back there."

Taking the business card, I read it.

Sarah Fortune. CCO, SHINE Entertainment. Subsidiary of Capitol Records.

"I'll put it simply for you," she began. "We're interested in entering a record deal with you."

The words left her lips like it was the most casual thing to her. But as she spoke, a wave of nausea struck me. "I…" I licked my suddenly-dry lips. "I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. What'd you say?"

"Me and my associate, Taric Lightshield, think that you have the potential to become one of the biggest artists in the last decade," Sarah explained calmly. "You're talented, you're driven, and you're willing to grow and improve. The only thing you're missing is direction. And Taric and I believe that we can provide that."

"Do I have to decide now?"

Sarah shook her head. "Just call the number on there whenever you've come to a decision." She grinned. "Just remember: L.A. is a place full of talented people. Who knows who we might run into, right?"

"Right." Nothing like a bit of competition to push me in the right direction. I let out a sigh. "I'll have to talk to some people about this. But…" I met her gaze. "Regardless of the outcome, I appreciate it. A lot. More than you know, probably."

Sarah's grin morphed into a soft smile. "You know, you're a lot more grateful than I expected you to be. It's sorta throwing me off."

"Why?"

"Most people in this city are assholes," she said frankly. "Especially in the music industry." She pointed a finger at me. "Don't lose that part of you, Jaemin." And with that, Sarah Fortune spun on her heel and began to walk to the other end of the parking lot. She whirled around, her red hair a wave of color. "Have a good night!" She winked, grinning wildly.

[;]

When I put the business card from SHINE Entertainment on the kitchen counter, I'd expected Eunkyung to find it, but the last thing I expected was for her to barge into my room, the business card in hand, and a wide smile on her face. "Why didn't you tell me about this?!" She shoved the card in my face. "Are you gonna call them?"

"I was thinking about asking Lux first—"

Eunkyung shook her head. Vehemently. "No, no, no. This isn't about Lux, or me, or anyone else, Jae. This is about you."

"I figured asking her wouldn't hurt."

"You can ask her," Eunkyung said. "But don't let her answer change yours. This is about what you want to do, Jae. About who you want to be." She placed the card face-up on my desk. "Ask Lux. Then call them right after. I assume you wouldn't want this opportunity to slip through your fingers too."

I swallowed. "Fair enough." I nodded once. "Alright, I'll give her a call."

"Good." Eunkyung rubbed the top of my head with her hand. "I'll clean up the kitchen while you handle this."

"Thanks, Noona."

"Anytime, Jae." And she left the room as quickly as she came in.

I stared at the business card. Then, without a second thought, I called Lux.

"Hey," I said once she picked up. "What's up?"

"Getting changed for bed," she replied, her voice somewhat distant and echo-y. "How about you?"

"So, you know how I went busking today?"

"Mmhm. Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine," I replied. "I…" I rubbed the side of my arm. "I got an offer from a record label."

For a few short moments, there was nothing but silence from Lux's end.

"Lux?" I asked hesitantly.

"That's great!" Was her ear-shattering reply. And the echo of her bathroom only worsened it. "That's amazing news! I'm so happy for you!" Even through the phone, I could feel her excitement, her joy, and the sheer brilliance of her voice brightened my entire day. "Have you called them yet?"

"I was gonna call them after I told you about it."

"Go call them!" Lux urged. "It's very sweet of you to think about calling me, but call them. Now!"

I chuckled at that. "Alright, alright. I'll give them a call. I'll probably call you after I'm done with them."

"Sounds good! I'll just be in bed by then probably."

"Talk to you in a bit, Lux."

"Later, Jae!"

[;]

I stared at the business card as it rested face-up on my desk. Even doing something as harmless as looking at the card, my heart raced and my breathing hardened. There was something about it, about the card, about what the card meant, about what it meant for me, that set off alarms in my mind.

Reactions to a life-changing moment like this were normal, right?

Steeling my nerves and gathering what strength I could muster, I picked my phone back up and slowly dialed the number listed on the card.

I placed my phone to my ear. The phone rang several times before someone finally picked it up.

"Is… Is this Sarah Fortune?"

"Is this Son Jaemin?"

"Y— yeah," I said. "It is. I was calling about the record deal offer that you and I talked about a few hours ago…"

"Of course, of course." There was the sound of shuffling papers. Then, she continued. "Have you come to a decision?"

I inhaled deeply. This is it. Then, I exhaled slowly. "I accept."

Finally! Jae finds his chance, and we dive into some more music. And there's even more music to come next chapter. :D

Guest (from 3/3) - Aww, thank you!

Guest (from 3/1) - Not sure how to resolve that review issue. Maybe try making an account?

Guest (from 2/25) - Another long review! Yes, there's a lot of development to still happen between Jae and Seraphine, and Jae and Seraphine as characters and individuals as well. As for your small P.S., there was actually a version of this story where Lux and Jae ended up together, but it was a... much less romantic ending than what you would want. Since it won't be published, I can disclose it now. Essentially, Jae and Lux got into a relationship after losing their virginity to each other, but it was a relationship built permeable things, and not genuine feelings. They eventually break off, and Jae is left alone- which also allows him to write his debut EP. Things are taking a different turn this time around, though.

Next Chapter: 3/19/21