Enjoy.

May 3rd, 2021

"Think it's done?" Lux asked quietly, her head positioned right beside mine as we both stared at the project on Ableton. The song was simple. It didn't have many tracks. Nothing but a guitar, drums, and background vocals and harmonies.

"Yeah," I murmured. "I think it is."

"Are you ready to record it?"

I shrugged helplessly. "Maybe. Not sure. I have no idea."

Lux placed a hand on my shoulder and gently massaged it. "Why?"

"I just don't think I'm ready."

Lux grabbed both sides of my chair and spun me around to face her. She jabbed a finger at my heart, her nail slightly, but not painfully, digging into my chest. "Well, I think you're wrong."

"Lux, I appreciate the sentiment, but—"

"Jae, you've spent your whole life building up to this chance. You've worked for hours, and hours, and hours on end to try and find an opportunity like this— and now that you're standing here, ten steps from your future, do you really think that you aren't ready?" Lux asked, her words seemingly echoing all around me. She placed hand on my cheek. "I think you're ready, Jae. I think you're more than ready."

I let out a small breath. "I… Okay," I breathed. "No way to know until I give it a shot, right?"

Lux gently kissed my cheek. "Right."

I stood up from my chair and sighed deeply. "Alright. I'll be back."

"I believe in you, Jae," Lux said as I walked to the studio door.

"Thank you, Lux."

[;]

I gently swayed my feet to the soft strumming of guitar chords. I pursed my lips, placing a hand on the side of my headphones as I held my phone in my hand. Lyrics lit up the screen, illuminating my face in the darkness of the studio.

" I saw someone who looks just like you, in the backseat with her hand out the sunroof. I swear it was the dress that I gave you, and I wonder if your favorite color's still blue ."

Seraphine hummed. "What's your favorite color?"

"Now that you mentioned it, I don't really have one. No colors really stand out to me."

"Shame."

"What about you?"

Sera grinned. "Blue."

Memories flooded my mind as I sang, my voice trembling ever-so slightly, my eyes shut tight as I let my emotions carry the weight behind my words.

"You're full of life, and wild and free. Chasing every dream and possibility. You're more than I could ever be-e-e-e ." I inhaled, feeling a cry build in the back of my throat.

A kick drum laid out the beat, joined by heavy and heart-wrenching piano chords. " I hope he treats you better than I ever could ." Another inhale. " 'Cause you deserve the world times two and our simple Sunday afternoons. I hope he's home for you even though I had to lose you, for you to find who fills your heart even if I'm not the one you choose …"

I stepped back from the mic, a hand on my chest, as a chorus of voices replaced my singing. I struggled to pull in air, but I knew that I had to continue the song.

"I thought I caught a glimpse of me and you, in our kitchen where I cooked your favorite food."

"You said you wanted me to cook something for you, right?"

"Yeah."

I motioned for her to follow me. "I'll cook for you. But you have to come with me, okay?"

"And if I'm being honest, I was a fool. So say the word and I'll come running back to you… "

"Like you wouldn't have done the same thing had it happened to you instead."

I wiped aside a tear in the three beats of rest that I had. I held back a sob as the song launched into the pre-chorus.

"And you're full of love, and wild and free, chasing every dream and possibility. You're more than I could ever be-e-e-e ," I sang, ditching my phone entirely and placing both of my hands on the mic. "'Cause you deserve the world times two and our simple Sunday afternoons. I hope he's home for you even though I had to lose you, for you to find who fills your heart even if I'm not the one you choose ."

The guitars and the piano decrescendo'd into near-silence, leaving nothing but a soft synth and the driving kick drum. "Ohh, oh-oh-oh, ohh, oh-oh-oh. Ohh, oh-oh-oh, ohh, mmm ." My voice built along with the percussion, and I lifted my arms up into the air as the percussion dipped out and the guitar rejoined. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.

"I hope he treats you better than I ever could, 'cause you deserve the world times two and our simple Sunday afternoons ," I cried the lyrics out. "I hope he's home for you even though I had to lose you, for you to find who fills your heart even if I'm not the one you choose ."

I let the tears fall freely down my cheeks. For the first time in months, I cried.

But the song continued regardless.

And it was in that moment, with tears staining my cheeks and my voice nearly at its limit, that I finally felt like I was truly, genuinely singing.

The rest of the instruments triumphantly returned— even if I was in the middle of sobbing. My breathing was haggard, and I let that emotion drive my voice.

"And I hope he's home for you ," I sang. "And our Sunday afternoons… "

My voice cracked as the song finished.

I stood there for a time, doing nothing but absorbing the moment as a century passed in a minute.

Lux's voice clicked over the speakers. "…Jae?" Her voice was choked as well, like she too had been crying. "Are you alright?"

I chuckled slightly. "I feel like I should be asking you that."

Lux's reply was a laugh as well. "Come back out here," she instructed.

Groggily, I placed my headphones on its respective stand and headed out of the studio. I found Lux sitting in the chair, a tear-stained napkin in her hand. Concern washed over me. I immediately rushed to her. "What— what's wrong? What happened?"

"It's nothing, I just…" She looked up at me. "That was beautiful, Jae. Every word you said, every note you sang, it was so beautiful. And it felt like I was right there with you, experiencing every emotion with you."

"Yeah," I said, pulling up a chair to sit beside her. "In there, for the first time, it… it really felt like I was singing. Like really, really singing."

"It definitely sounded like it," Lux murmured. She tossed her napkin into the trash and picked up the mouse. She clicked over to the project, scrolling through it. "I don't think you're gonna need any new takes either."

"You sure?"

"Your singing was brilliant, Jae," Lux said. "Might need some harmonies though."

I smirked. "You've gotten so cocky ever since I asked you to record three songs with me." My tone was teasing, but Lux was absolutely correct. The emotion behind the singing was there, it just needed a little extra power and force behind it.

She put her hands on her hips, a wry grin danced across her lips. "Better watch out, then. I might become more famous than you."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, let's go and record some harmonies. Then, I'll mix the song before we grab dinner?"

"Sounds good." Lux stood up and grabbed an extra pair of headphones.

"Hey Lux."

"Mmh?"

"Have I told you how much I appreciate you?" I asked.

"You've told me a couple of times, yes," she replied. "But it's a nice thing to hear."

"Well," I began. "I appreciate you. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Jae." She passed by me and stepped into the recording room. "But let's get this track finished. I'm hungry."

I laughed. "Alright, let's get it done."

[;]

I sent "Better Than I Could" to Sarah and Taric later that night. To be entirely honest, I wasn't sure whether or not it would get approved. The song was good. One of the best I've written and sang on, if not the best— but doubt crept into the corners of my mind and my heart and lingered there, even as I laid in bed.

If this song fails… I shook the thought out of my head. There was no point in thinking something like that. I'd given it my best effort, and I gave my all into this song. And that was enough.

It had to be enough.

[;]

May 4th, 2021

I awoke to the sound of my phone pinging numerous times, from missed emails, texts, and calls from none other than Sarah Fortune, and just as it began to ring once again, I immediately answered the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, rubbing my eyes open.

"Your song's approved."

All of my tiredness vanished. I shot to my feet. "W— wa— wait, what?" I asked.

"Your song, the one you sent us last night, is perfect as a lead single for your album," Sarah said calmly. "Keep writing and singing just like that, Jae."

"Genuinely?"

"Genuinely," Sarah confirmed. She let out a pleased sigh. "That was what your previous songs were lacking, and while they were technically amazing with plenty of musicality, Taric and I could both tell that you weren't meaning what you were singing."

"How? How do you hear something like that?"

"When you've been in the industry as long as the two of us have, you eventually learn what it sounds like when someone means what they sing. Or what they say. Or what they do," she explained. "If there's one piece of advice that I can give you, Jae, is that living genuinely is the only way to do things right. Don't lie to yourself."
"I… Thank you, Sarah," I replied softly.

"Don't mention it, Jae," she said. "And I wouldn't thank me so soon. You've only got one song finished on your debut album so far, and there's a lot more left to go if we want it slotted for a summer release date."

Inspiration tingled at the edges of my mind. "Right."

"You've got about thirteen tracks, fourteen in total, to play with," Sarah explained. "We'll shoot the MV for 'Better Than I Could' some time near the end of the month. I'll have more details for you as we get the crew together for it."

"Sounds good. And thanks again, Sarah," I said. "For giving me the opportunity to sing."

"You only have yourself to praise. You worked hard to get where you are. Don't let our chance meeting diminish that."

"If you say so."

"I do say so." She snorted. "Now go and make some music, kid."

[;]

May 7th, 2021

I slowly let out a sigh as I called the number. My phone rang twice before the phone picked up.

"Jae? Is that really you?" TRUE DAMAGE Ekko's youthful, but still mature voice conveyed his confusion as clearly as day. "I thought you deleted my number or something and that's why you barely called."

"I… I'm sorry," I apologized. "There's no excuse for not talking to you after you joined up with TRUE DAMAGE, but I wanted to get in touch again, catch up with each other, that's all."

"Sure! I heard you're signed with SHINE, is that right?"

"Yeah, I am," I said, not at all surprised that he knew about that.

"Are you free the day after tomorrow?"

"Should be, why?"

"Come down to the studio," Ekko said confidently. "I want to introduce you to everyone and maybe we can all hang and jam out together."

Part of me wanted to hesitate, to say no— but that part was quickly crushed by the anticipation of working together with other musicians. The pandemic made live collabs and jam sessions nearly impossible to plan and host. But if Ekko was offering, then I was more than willing to take him up on it.

"That sounds great! Just text me the address and I'll be there. What time?" I asked.

"We'll all roll up by around noon? I'll let you know," Ekko replied. "It was great talking to you again, Jae. I assume you're still as nasty on the piano as usual?"

I smirked. "Probably. Might be about as good on the piano as you are at rapping."

Ekko laughed. "Yeah, I might be good, but Akali? She's on another level ."

"Think so?"

"I know so. She'll be at the stu' tomorrow. You two might be able to cook something up together."

Now that was an idea. I grinned. "Alright, we'll talk more tomorrow. Thanks for the invite, Ekko."

"No worries, Jae. And it was nice talking to you again."

"You too."

"Later, man."

"Peace."

[;]

May 9th, 2021

The studio that Ekko sent to me as apparently a private one that was located near the top of Hollywood Hills. It was the one that Akali had built for working with TRUE DAMAGE, and also acted as her own studio, apart from her home studio. Coincidentally, it was the same studio that K/DA had recorded their most recent EP in.

I pulled into one of the free parking spots at the front of the building, locking my car behind me and making my way to the front door. My mask covered the bottom half of my face as I knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Ekko opened the door.

He wore a bright, neon-colored hoodie over a pair of baggy black sweatpants, and I could tell he had the largest smile on even through his mask. "Jae!" Ekko extended a hand.

I took his hand and pulled him into a hug. I patted the back of his shoulder. "Hey, man! It's great to see you again," I said as I pulled away.

"You too, man." He looked up at me. "Did you get taller, or did I get shorter?"

"Probably the latter," I joked.

Ekko smirked. "Let's head inside. Everyone's excited to meet you." He closed the door behind me and guided me through the hallways and towards the studio room itself.

"Told them all good things, I assume?" I asked as I fell into step beside him.

"Told them you were the nastiest pianist I've ever heard. Senna's excited, said she's been wanting to do a piano ballad."

"Senna doing a piano ballad? Never imagined that."

"She used to be a classical singer," Ekko explained shortly. "But she'll talk more about herself. Here we go!" He opened the door to the studio.

The rest of TRUE DAMAGE, Senna, Qiyana, Yasuo, and Akali were all seated across from each other on bean-bags. They were all chatting amicably with one another, wearing wide smiles and looking as though they were having the time of their lives. Yasuo cracked a joke and everyone laughed.

Then, they all turned to me as I entered the room.

"Hey everyone," I said, waving and smiling. "I'm Son Jaemin."

Akali seemed to visibly flinch at my name.

"Wait, Yasuo… " I stared at him. "You… you were at one of my first performances. How did I not recognize you?!"

The man laughed heartily. "Beats me, kid. But it's good to see you again. Did my tip help at all?" Yasuo asked jokingly.

"It did, actually. Paid for my gas."

He nodded. "Good, good."

"You're Ekko's old friend, right?" Senna asked. "You two talked a lot in college?"

I nodded, taking a seat on one of the free bean bags. "I knew him before he became a part of TRUE DAMAGE. To me, he was just an incredibly talented rapper." I looked at Akali. "Thanks for asking him to join the group."

Akali pursed her lips. "Yeah. Of course."

"Do… Do you two know each other?" Ekko asked.

"We know the same people," was my quick response.

"So," Senna began, probably sensing the growing tension in the room and wanting to dissuade it. "Ekko mentioned that you're a brilliant pianist."

"He won the Cyrus Recitals four times in a row when he was just a kid."

"Th— the Cyrus Recitals?!" Senna was flabbergasted. "I thought only professionals competed during those events?"

"My parents pulled a few favors to have me compete at one. And that was the first recital that I won," I explained. "After that, I was invited three more times. I declined on the fourth invitation because I wanted to move on to singing."

"And how was that transition?" Qiyana asked. "Going from purely playing the piano to learning how to sing must have been pretty jarring, right?"

"Honestly, a little bit." I chuckled. "Something about being able to produce notes on a piano but not being able to replicate them with my voice always annoyed me. As it turns out, I think learning how to sing properly was a lot more difficult than learning how to play the piano. Or piano just came easier to me."

"Well, there's something that I've been wanting to do for awhile," Senna revealed.

"A piano ballad, right?" I asked. "Ekko told me."

"Yeah," Senna said. "Think we can do it now?"

I slowly rose to my feet. "I mean, that's part of the reason that I came here in the first place." I walked over to the recording room door. "To make music with everyone here."

[;]

The next several hours vanished. On that day alone, all of us managed to write, produce, and mix two whole songs that would likely find their place on my debut album.

With Senna, I wrote a piano duet based around the spite I felt towards Seraphine when she was chosen by K/DA and left me. The track was titled "Is It Just Me?" and featured Senna's powerful, evocative vocals that left everyone in the studio with chills as we recorded it. It was an honest and true piano ballad, with nearly no other instruments besides the piano, strings, and a sub bass used in the song.

I was impressed by just how much emotion she could convey, even though the song itself was covering a rather personal topic. When I'd asked her how she was doing it, her simple response was, "Everyone's experienced something like this. Not just you. But keeping writing from this place in your heart. Beautiful things come from it."

"I might be writing the words, but you're the one singing the song."

Senna smiled. "Then let's just say both of us are talented individuals and leave it at that."

"Fair enough."

For the second song, I wanted Ekko to try his hand at singing. Rapping and singing were often one-in-the-same, and I knew from school that Ekko had a strong foundation for singing, he just happened to have a penchant (and immense talent) for rapping as well.

"You sure you want me to sing this?" Ekko asked.

"Yeah," I said confidently. "C'mon man, you and I used to sing all the time during our jam sessions."

"Alright, alright, alright," Ekko surrendered. "Let's get it."

And "say it over" was finished within the hour.

Ekko's voice was soulful, and had a timbre like silky smoke— a completely different sound from his braggadocious and prideful rapping. When he sang, it seemed like he was going through every emotion in the moment.

And Qiyana and Yasuo were hardly idle either. They actively participated in the production of both songs, offering up their opinions on how something should be mixed, or how one section could transition into the next, or on the arrangement of the track as a whole.

"Sorry for not asking you to sing," I said to Qiyana as she sat at the front of the mixing console, scrolling absentmindedly through her phone. "I feel bad."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Sometimes, there are songs that suit our voices and others that don't. As singers, we just have to accept that." The young woman smiled. "Take it easy, Jae. There's no hard feelings here."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"How long have you been a singer?" I asked.

"Close to seven years now," Qiyana said. "Between that and acting…."

"Ah, right. I forget that you're an actor too."

She nodded. "But if I'm being honest. I like being a singer a lot more. Less people to tell you how something should be, or how something should go."

"Definitely."

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you sing?" She asked as if it were the simplest question in the world.

"I…" I trailed off. "Because there are things that I still need to say."

"And when you run out of things to say?" Qiyana challenged.

"…I don't know."

Qiyana frowned. "Then you might want to find that reason." She glanced up at the ceiling. "Because even when you're in your darkest moments, when you're so uncertain about your future, when you don't know what to do next, remembering the reason you sing will save you."

[;]

"Told you so," I said with a grin.

Ekko elbowed my side, causing me to erupt in laughter. "Alright man, no need to rub it in." He rolled his eyes. "You know what, I need to hear you rap one day."

"The day that I rap is the day that I die," I said decidedly. "Believe me when I say that I suck at rapping."

"Well, Akali and I will just have to teach you, I guess."

I smirked. "Yeah, I guess so."

I glanced over at the other rapper in TRUE DAMAGE. She was fairly quiet during the entire time I was at the studio, and I could tell that she was terribly distracted by something. And it seemed to be linked to me.

At around evening-time, everyone agreed to take a break while Senna and Yasuo ordered pizza. It was in that break that I decided to corner Akali. I found her standing at the roof of the studio, her elbows propped up against the railing and her jacket pulled tightly over her body.

"Hey," I said, announcing my presence and standing beside her.

She flinched and tried not to meet my gaze. "H— hi."

"Didn't think we'd meet up like this, or so soon," I remarked. "But I suppose it would have happened eventually."

"Yeah, eventually." Akali sucked in a breath. "So, how are you? How have you been holding up?"

"I've been worse. But… Things are actually looking up now. For once in my life," I explained slowly.

"I'm sorry."

I raised a brow. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because I— I feel like I'm partly responsible for what happened to you."

"Akali, it's in the past," I said. "As awful as it was, it made me who I am now. It was no one's fault. Just how the world works sometimes."

"…That's an entirely different reaction than what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. For you to be angry, or something."

I shook my head. "I don't have the time or energy to waste on being angry. At least not now."

"Fair enough." Akali glanced at me. "No hard feelings?"

"There were none to begin with, Akali," I said. "I don't know why you were so afraid of me."

She crossed her arms. "I wouldn't necessarily call it afraid of you. I was more cautious than anything."

"Mmm. Is that what we're calling it when we flinch at the sight of someone?" I teased.

"Maybe I just thought you were ugly."

"That's impossible."

Akali laughed at my self-assuredness. "You're a great guy, Jae."

"I try to be."

"And that's all that anyone should aspire towards," Akali agreed. She raised her arms up for a stretch. "Well, let's get back inside. I'm cold and I want pizza."

"Couldn't have said it better myself."

[;]

I bobbed my head along to Akali's drum pattern. "This pocket is just too nice," I said to her.

"Right?" She asked, rhetorically, glancing over her shoulder at me.

It was nearly midnight inside of the studio, and everyone else had gone home because of their schedules for tomorrow. That left just Akali and me in the studio, and the two of us decided to be productive people and make a song out of it.

"Hold on, hold on," I said. I moved to stand beside the rapper-producer, pointing at the monitor. "Put the guitar over the piano before the first verse. Take the drums out for the entire first verse and pre, and then—"

"Drop it on 'down?'" Akali asked.

I grinned at her. "Exactly."

"Wait, what if we did this?" She moved the vocal track back slightly and created a measure of space between the pre-chorus and the chorus. Then, she put a drum fill to replace the vocals. Akali rewound the track and played it from the first verse onward.

"How bad's the weather in your head? Wish you could stay with me instead. You swear to God it's rain, but salt water is rolling down your neck. How bad's the weather in your head? " The entire first verse was accompanied by nothing but a piano.

"You say the building's burning down, but I see no smoke from the ground. You swear to god the stairs are melting, but I see they're safe and sound. You say the building's burning down …"

The sound of deep drums filled the air as Akali's drum fill perfectly transitioned into the chorus.

"Oh, where do you go? When nobody knows where you are? Where you are… Where do you hide? When you close your eyes? Is it far, too far to hear me scream? Where are you? Where are you? "

The rest of "Brainstorm" finished, and I stared at Akali, utterly impressed. "That was amazing, Akali."

"Well, so was your singing." She winked.

I grinned. "Alright, I think that's… more than enough for today," I decided. "Three songs being completed is more than I had yesterday."

Akali nodded. "Finishing three songs in one day is impressive, Jae. You should be proud of yourself."

"Thanks, Akali. For your help."

"Anytime, Jae." She smiled widely. "You have my number now too, so if you ever need me for anything, just give me a call."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Goodnight, Jae."

"'Night, Akali."

[;]

June 1st, 2021

From the beginning of May until the beginning of June, I spent almost every waking hour of my life working on music. From writing lyrics, to producing tracks, to recording vocals, and to mixing songs, I veritably existed inside of my studio.

And it paid off.

Using the three songs that I created with TRUE DAMAGE and my own song as a framework, I constructed my debut album: "IM SRRY." The title came naturally to me, and it was the first thing that I responded with when Sarah asked what I wanted the album to be called.

"Why?" She'd asked.

"Because I never got the chance to say it."

Sarah nodded once. "We have a release date slotted, and your music video should be edited and ready by the end of this week."

"When is the release date?"

"June 20th. First day of summer."

I shakily let out a breath. "Alright. Let's do this."

During that meeting, I mentioned to Sarah that I wanted to collaborate with a singer that I'd been a long-time fan of. "Do you think you could reach out to her?" I asked.

"SHY Martin?"

I nodded. "I have three duets written, and I want her to sing on two of them."

"Any particular reason?"

"Her voice is perfect for the emotion I'm trying to convey."

Sarah nodded. "I'll give her people a call and give them your number, then."

"Thanks, Sarah."

"It's what I'm here for," was her warm response.

After that, it didn't take long for me to get a phone call from SHY Martin's manager. And from there, it was several Zoom calls and online studio sessions that resulted in the finalization of two more of the five duets in the album. As I expected, her voice had exactly the timbre that I was looking for in both songs.

And the final duet…

"Do you mind singing for me again?" I asked.

Lux grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

Luxanna's willingness to sing always surprised me, and even more than that, she was getting better and better with every song that we sang together. For a light-physicist, I thought that Lux had more than enough talent to become a singer. But she always told me that she was happy where she was, and that she was doing good work.

"Singing is fun," Lux explained. "But I don't know if I could ever manage doing it as a career."

Soon enough, the final duet in the album was completed.

And the rest of the songs followed with ease.

[;]

Today marked the celebration of my album's completion.

Everyone from Lux, Eunkyung, the Crownguards, and even TRUE DAMAGE and Akali all wanted to throw together a small party and meet-up. Of course, the Crownguards agreed to host the event, and with a bit more planning, we all agreed on a date.

Everyone was gathered around the table in the middle of the Crownguards' dining hall. Catering dishes full of warm, steaming food were spread all across the table, and everyone went around the table, filling their own plates with food as they eagerly talked to one another.

I spotted Eunkyung and Akali standing beside one another, talking, and chatting while they got their food and even sitting on opposite sides of the table from each other. When they sat down, their conversation didn't seem to stop, and they only got more excited.

Here we go …

I shook my head slightly.

"Think anything will come of it?" Lux asked, following my gaze.

I shrugged. "Who knows. That's up to my sister." I couldn't stop the smile that danced across my lips. "But there's one thing that I know: I haven't seen Eunkyung smile like that in… a long, long time."

My sister let out a laugh, and even though her hand came up to cover her mouth, I knew just how brightly she was smiling. Just how happy she was in that moment.

[;]

June 20th, 2021

Lux and I sat beside one another on the living room couch, a blanket drawn over our legs as we waited for the music video for "Better Than I Could" to premiere. My hands trembled in sheer nervousness, but I couldn't deny how excited I was either.

Lux placed her hand over mine. She gently squeezed it. "Take a breath, Jae."

I did as she instructed, and then the music video began to play.

The video was simple. Nothing but a compilation of shots of me driving through L.A., mouthing the lyrics to the song. But as the song progressed, as it built further and further to the end of the song, tears began to well up in my eyes. By the time the song finished, I was sobbing in the middle of driving through an empty highway. The video ended on a shot of a midnight, starless sky— with nothing but my signature and "IM SRRY" written across it.

[;]

June 21th, 2021

Instead of my alarm waking me up, my phone angrily buzzed at me. Without thinking, I reached over to my nightstand and picked it up, placing it against my ear.

"Hello?" I asked tiredly.

"SON JAEMIN, LOOK AT YOUR MUSIC VIDEO. RIGHT NOW." The sound of Sarah Fortune screeching purged the grogginess from my body immediately. I shot up and turned on my computer.

"Why? What happened? Is something wrong?"

"No, no. Just— just look at your music video."

In a few short seconds, I popped open the YouTube page for the music video.

And my jaw dropped.

In the last eight hours, the video received over ten million views.

"This… this can't be right," I breathed. I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes.

"Check your Spotify page," Sarah instructed.

I did just that, and the number blew me away.

"Th— thirty million streams?"

"And it's only growing. I check at around six in the morning, and the video had about six million views. Taric thinks it'll break fifty million by the end of today."

"Fi— fifty million?" The number dumbfounded me. "Why? What did I do to deserve all of this?"

"You worked your ass off, Jae," Sarah said frankly. "You worked day and night to get where you are today. And you shouldn't let anyone or anything take that away from you."

"I… Thank you, Sarah."

"No problem," she replied. "Alright, I'll be texting you throughout the day. Do you think you'll be free for a meeting at around 7:30 P.M. today?"

"I should be."

"See you then."

"See you in a bit."

And the call ended.

There was a knock on my door, and a few seconds later, Eunkyung stepped into my room. She was dressed in a pair of simple pajamas, and her hair trapped inside of a towel turban. She took a seat on my bed. "I saw your music video this morning. That's a lot of views."

"Yeah," I breathed, still unbelieving. "It is."

She placed a hand on my shoulder. "You made it, Jae. I'm so, so, so very proud of you." Eunkyung smiled softly. "And I'm sure that Mom and Dad are too."

"It still doesn't feel real."

My sister nodded. "It never felt real for Mom and Dad too, remember? Despite being two of the best musicians in L.A., they were still in awe that so many people supported them."

I chuckled. "Right." Every time that we went to a concert, Mom and Dad were always recognized, no matter what they did.

"How do you feel?" Eunkyung asked.

"I… I wish I could say that I feel good, but…" I trailed off. "I just feel more pressure than ever now. What if my next song doesn't do as well? What if I can't sing the same way anymore? What if people lose interest in me while I'm writing my next song?"

Eunkyung shook her head. "Then you'll cross that road when you get there. But as of right now, in this moment, with the release of your debut album… How are you?"

"Lost and confused, still," I revealed. "I… I thought this whole thing would fix everything. I thought that if once I wrote this song, once I finished filming the music video, once I released the album, that I would be happy for once in my life— but I was wrong."

"Why?"

"I…" I trailed off. "I don't know."

Eunkyung put a hand on my shoulder. "You know, that's all I want for you, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just want you to be happy," her voice was a painfully quiet whisper. "You've spent so long trying to make me happy, to make others happy, that I'm sick and tired of you hiding your unhappiness." Eunkyung began to cry. "I don't care how successful you are. I don't care how much money you make for the two of us. I don't care about any of that." With her free hand, she wiped away the tears marred her cheeks like translucent scars. "I just want you to be happy, Jae."

I nodded. "I know," I murmured. "And the same goes for you."

"I know." She smiled. "Speaking of which, I've got a meeting with Akali later today."

I rolled my eyes. "A 'meeting.' Are we really that immature now?"

"Okay, fine. It's a date. Sorta." Eunkyung rubbed the back of her neck. "I don't even know what I did to land a date with her."

"You probably blew her away with your amazing personality and brilliant mind."

Eunkyung punched my arm. "Asshole." She stood up from my bed and walked to my door. "Think about what I said, Jae," she said. "Please."

"I know. I will."

She nodded once. "Good."

[;]

I stared at the screen of my phone with half-lidded eyes and numb hands. There in the center of the screen, trapped inside of a bubble, was a text from none other than Yeng Seraphine.

Hi. I know that this is out of nowhere, and I know that it's a long shot, but I wanted to ask if you could meet me with me. You can pick where and when. Just let me know. And if you don't want to, please tell me. I don't want to be anxiously waiting for nothing.

I grabbed my phone and began to type out a response.

Sure. Tomorrow evening, meet me here.

And I sent Seraphine the location of my secluded spot on Hollywood Hills.

There was a near instant reply.

Okay. Thank you. See you tomorrow.

No problem.

Yeah. I destroyed my weekly schedule.

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