Chapter 11: Loneliness & Regrets

Date: January 13, 2019

Warnings: None

Pairings: Vincent/Bonnie, Klaus/Bonnie

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Jon Snow.

A/N: This chapter wrote itself. I had one thing planned but Klonnie won out on this one. This chapter peels back layers of both characters, but don't worry, the angst is still just below the surface. Pay attention to the random thoughts Bonnie occasionally has about Klaus. The spell is slowly taking effect! Keep in mind that this story is an AU depiction of pretty much everything. Just to give you all an idea, this is post season 4. Everything including how Bonnie dies and Elena's fate is AU because TVD started to write themselves into the ground after season 3. (Since the start honestly, but I'll be nice.) Let me know your thoughts! Thanks for reading and your patience.

Vincent didn't know what to think when the Bennett witch began to unravel before his very eyes. One minute she was coming on to him and the next she was on the verge of a breakdown. For the first few moments, he wondered what he had said to make the poor girl burst into tears but quickly realized that her meltdown was beyond him. Either it was the alcohol, the reason for the alcohol, or both but whatever it was weighing on her forced him to have to watch her break apart into tiny shards of glass before him.

"I thought I was done with this shit," Was all she said as she pushed her blonde hair back from her face. Bonnie couldn't help the emotions that poured out of her. The past month was catching up to her and she felt pulled in every direction. She was stronger than this. Stronger than a drunken meltdown on a crowded sidewalk on Bourbon Street and stronger than anything life threw at her, but the alcohol didn't care. She needed to release her frustrations.

Gently, Vincent grabbed her shoulders and led her down the street. He had no destination in mind, he just knew he needed to get her away from the crowd to clear her mind. Eventually, they ended up in Jackson Square where they came to a stop near one of the benches. He sat Bonnie down and shrugged his jacket off, gently placing it around her. Despite what he thought he knew about her, he couldn't leave her in this state, even if she was the all-powerful Bonnie Bennett. Her fragility still showed underneath and the need to look out for her was heavily present.

"Are you okay?" The question was stupid but Vincent didn't have much to go on. He knew nothing about her outside of the vicious rumors he'd heard amongst The Spirits and the witches, but he could honestly say that currently, nothing he'd heard about her seemed to be true. Everything from her being stuck up, arrogant, flippant, cold and callous, simply didn't apply right now. Right now, she was just a girl, frustrated and at her wit's end, as well as vulnerable. Vincent sat down beside her and studied her. Yes, she was beautiful but not in a sexual sense. There was a familiarity about her that made him want to look out for her like a brother would.

He sat quietly next to her as she struggled to get herself together. He reached into the pocket of the jacket he placed on her and pulled out a handkerchief to give to her. Bonnie muttered a small 'thank you' before dabbing at her eyes. A long moment of silence befell them. Everything Bonnie had been suppressing for the last three years was bubbling to the surface and she couldn't help it. She needed to release it.

"I really just want to be left alone. Everyone is always counting on me to save them. Everyone needs me to help them. I'm always the answer and I hate it. I hate this pressure. I hate feeling like I have to choose or suffer some great consequence. I can't deal with this shit anymore." Vincent was quiet as he considered her words.

"What do you want Bonnie?" Bonnie started. Although a simple question, she wasn't sure how to answer it exactly. No one has ever asked her this. The realization made her sad.

"I don't know." She was honest with her answer. "I want to be left the hell alone. I don't want to save anyone but myself but in the back of my mind, that seems unrealistic. I ran before and this life caught up with me again. I don't want to run forever. I just want to squash this shit and be done with it."

"It's not unrealistic. I'm sorry for dumping such a huge responsibility on you earlier but from what I've seen, prophecies just predict what happens and ultimately, we decide the details. I suggest you find a solution that you benefit from and let everyone else deal with the consequences for a change." As Vincent gave the advice, he hoped in the back of his mind that any consequences dealt wouldn't fall on him. Still, he gave the best advice he had because he felt for the poor girl.

Bonnie nodded, grateful that someone was finally able to see things her way. Even if he didn't, Vincent was great at making her feel relatable. Bonnie glanced at him, considering his advice. She had no clue what she was going to do but she would meditate on what he said and try to apply it to her life. "Thanks for listening." Even if her problems weren't solved, it felt good to get it out.

"Anytime," Vincent assured. "I know your name has been dragged through the mud as far as the witches are concerned but just know that you have an ally in me." He gave her a small smile and stood to his feet. Despite starting off on the wrong foot, Vincent believed that Bonnie was a good person and would be an even greater friend and ally.

They would both need one in the coming months.

BKBKBKBKBKBKBKBK

Bonnie returned to the Mikaelson Estate to find it empty, aside from Klaus's hybrids and servants. She headed up to her temporary room and placed her things on the bed. She had no clue when Klaus would be back but after her talk with Vincent, she realized that she needed to play everyone's angle to her advantage. Death had a habit of bringing things to perspective and she was adamant against dying again for anyone else. To do that, she had to figure out what her endgame would be and how she could use everyone's agenda against them. If Klaus wanted her help, she would demand something in return. The same went for the witches, Damon, and Marie. Bonnie just had to figure out what purpose each of them would serve and what she could gain from them.

After speaking with Vincent, Bonnie went to her favorite crystal shop to do a little retail therapy. Expression Magic made her lazy when it came to spells. Most of the magic she used these days was telekinetic, clairvoyance, and mainly physical for the most part. Spells were more connected to the earth and Bonnie was feeling out of touch.

Bonnie placed her crystals neatly in a circle with candles in between them. She lit a smudge stick and burned sage in each corner of the room. Next, she cracked the window and smiled as a rush of wind came flooding in. The light from the candles flickered and the shadows of the room danced along the walls as she stepped inside of the ring with her grimoire in tow. She flipped through a few spells, looking for some that didn't require ingredients. She was low on herbs and would need to restock her stash as soon as possible.

She really needed to get it together.

She hadn't realized how much playing resident witch kept her in practice.

She finally found a clairvoyance spell and settled on that one. She needed to open her psychic eye so that she could be alerted whenever danger was approaching. Being cut off from The Spirits left her vulnerable. Even still, she was more powerful than she'd ever been and she couldn't see herself going back to Spirit or Ancestral magic. They were too moody.

Bonnie grabbed her quartz crystal and held it in the palm of her hand. She allowed her magic to flow through her hands and into the crystal. She felt the heat of her magic begin to heat the crystal and felt the magic of the crystal begin to respond to her touch. She felt a thrumming in her body as she drew energy from the wind that wafted through the window, shivering as the force of it picked up. Her hair lifted from her shoulders with each gush of wind as she channeled nature and the crystal she held in her hand. Her eyes remained closed as she focused on the crystal and muttered the spell from her grimoire under her breath. The rush she got from feeling the magic flow through her nearly broke her concentration but Bonnie remained steadfast. As she changed, the quartz crystal began to illuminate in her hand until it emitted a bright white light. The light lit up the entire room as magic warmed the air around it. Her magic surged and crackled in the air as Bonnie's dark vision went completely white as if she was staring into the sun. The white light began to dissipate as a vision came into view. A familiar face came into view which startled Bonnie out of her trance.

In an instant, everything faded to black. Bonnie glanced around but saw nothing but the moonlight filtering in from outside. The air was still and smokey from the candles that had blown out thanks to the wind. Her heart thudded in her chest as her adrenaline pumped profusely. She felt exhilarated, though confused by what she saw in her vision.

Bonnie stood to her feet and walked over to the light switch to turn on the lights. Nothing. She tried again but got nothing again.

"Nice one Bonnie," she grinned to herself when she realized that her magic must've caused a power surge within the house. She had no clue where the breaker box was, nor when Klaus would return. She grabbed her cellphone out of her pocket and saw that the battery was completely drained. Stunned by her own power, Bonnie chuckled and walked over to the bedroom door. She opened it and stepped into the hallway, looking both ways before heading for the main staircase. "Noctem." Bonnie blinked to activate the night vision spell to navigate throughout the darkened house. She started down the stairs, pausing midway when she saw Klaus appear at the foot of the staircase.

"I take it you're the reason behind the power outage?" Bonnie smiled a little. His voice had a calming effect she hadn't realize until now. She descended the stairs until she was eye level with him.

"Maybe," she teased. Her green eyes glowed in the dark with excitement. "I was doing a spell and caused a power surge throughout the house," she explained. She saw Klaus's eyebrow lift just before an amused smirk graced his face. "Oh don't look at me like that, help me find the breaker box," she scolded lightheartedly. Klaus didn't have time to wonder how she could see him.

"It wasn't just this house, Love, it was all the houses on this street," he informed her. Bonnie's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Are you serious?" She couldn't stop the grin on her face as she pushed past him and ran outside. The Mikaelson estate was large but lights from other houses usually could be seen from a distance but not this time. It was completely pitch black in every direction. Bonnie stared in awe at what she'd done. The energy from the spell was still thrumming throughout her body as magic crackled in the air around her. She turned to face Klaus who was standing behind her, looking around as well. The moon was bright outside and illuminated the two of them. She blinked away her night vision and glanced around, looking at everything with her natural eye.

"You should probably put it back before someone notices, Love," Klaus chuckled. He was on his way in when he noticed all of the lights went out. He thought nothing of it until he felt Bonnie's magic in the driveway and rushed inside to see what she had done. He originally thought that she may have been in some sort of trouble. The magic he felt was strong as if she was gearing up for a fight. It was mind-boggling to learn that she merely playing around. Her magic was truly insurmountable.

"Right," Bonnie exhaled and extended her hands in front of her. She focused on releasing the magic and after a few moments, she felt the thrum of the magic inside her begin to subside. When she opened her eyes, the lights from several houses twinkled in the distance. She looked back at the Mikaelson estate and saw the light near the front door gleaming. She was happy that she was able to return the energy without exploding anything.

Bonnie was both excited by what she'd done and a little unnerved. Her magic had a mind of its own but she would need to control it better before it got out of hand. A power surge was cute and harmless now but what if it was something deadlier next time?

She turned to face Klaus and found him staring at her with a peculiar look in his eyes. Their eyes met and his face reverted to its normal stoniness.

"We need to talk," Bonnie told him before walking into the house. She had nearly forgotten with all of the excitement that she planned to lay down a few ground rules. Klaus nodded and followed her inside.

"I'll pour us a drink."

BKBKBKBKBKBKBKBK

Bonnie led them to Klaus's study. The house was so huge, there were still rooms she hadn't gone into but she knew where the main rooms were. She sat in a chair near the bookcase in front of his desk and drummed her fingers on the glass of Disaronno he poured for her. Bonnie focused on the glass until a slice of lemon appeared and squeezed it inside, stirring it with her mind as she waited on Klaus to settle. She held the glass in her hand and focused until it was chilled to her desired temperature.

She loved being a witch.

"So…" she started once he took a seat next to her. She had expected him to sit at the desk but he opted against it. Bonnie ignored how close he was to her and continued. "You want me to help you take back the city, fine. But, I want something from you in exchange." She gauged Klaus's reaction before continuing. "First of all, no secrets. I want full disclosure on everything. If I sense you're up to something behind my back, things will get ugly," she paused to see if he would protest and continued when Klaus simply nodded. "Second, I'm not killing anyone unless I have a valid reason. 'Because I said so' is not a valid reason, Klaus." Bonnie rolled her eyes causing Klaus to grin.

"Seems fair, Love. You have no arguments from me."

"Hush, I'm not finished." Klaus smiled, amused by how she spoke to him as if she was his lapdog. He was starting to think that he may be just that. As much as he hated it, he couldn't bring himself to fight against it.

"No one can know I'm staying here; not now, at least. That stays between us." Bonnie could very well get her own place but for reasons she wouldn't allow herself to admit, she didn't want to. "Which brings me to my next point. I want you to make sure that no matter what happens, I make it out of all of this alive. I'm not dying for anyone ever again." Bonnie paused for a moment before continuing. "And in the event that I do die… I want you to resurrect me."

"That's a big responsibility, Love. One I'm not entirely sure is possible," Klaus admitted.

"I have a spell that I'll give you when I'm ready. You'll just have to find a witch strong enough to cast it." Bonnie stared into Klaus and waited for him to protest. She was asking a lot from her supposed enemy but for whatever reason, he was the only one she trusted with this because he had the most to lose in the event of her death.

Klaus took everything she said into consideration. "Just out of curiosity, what happens if I don't resurrect you."

"Then I'll find a way to destroy you from the other side." Klaus knew she wasn't bluffing. Esther had tried to kill him numerous times from the other side. Bonnie was proving to be much stronger than her so he knew if anyone could do it, it'd be her.

Klaus extended his hand to her. "We have a deal." He wasn't sure if he would be able to ever resurrect her so he would make it his mission to keep her alive by any means necessary. He didn't want to deal with a pissed off, dead Bennett.

Bonnie shook his hand and took a swig from her drink as she thought of anything she may have left out. Klaus eyed her for a moment, pondering something she said earlier in the conversation.

"How did you die?" This was the second time Bonnie got that question. Her knee-jerk reaction was to brush it off but she wanted no secrets between them.

She would figure out if she wanted to tell him about Damon later.

"I died trying to bring Elena back after you killed her." Klaus didn't react.

"How long were you dead," he asked instead.

"Three months, four days and twenty-three hours," Bonnie answered precisely. It was three months of hell. She was still suffering from PTSD, which was part of the reason she wanted to stay here with him. Loneliness was a trigger for her and in a strange twist of events, Klaus was her only option for solace right now.

What had her life become?

"How did you come back," Klaus wanted to know. He also couldn't figure out how she had been dead for three whole months without her friends going into a panic and him not hearing about it.

Bonnie saw the questions in his eyes and answered bitterly. "Well, no one knew or noticed I was dead so I realized it was up to me to bring myself back. I had to tap into some very dark and ancient magic. I had one ancestor I found on the other side that would help me with no strings attached. She believed I had some purpose to fill and that the Bennett line had to persevere; her words." Bonnie paused to take a sip of her drink. "She showed me the spell that would bring me back to life. It took me every bit of three months to cast it. I had to wait on a lunar eclipse and I had to practice it. Using magic on the other side is a lot harder than being on earth. You have nothing to serve as a conduit since your body is separated from your consciousness so I had to tap into the magic that held the other side in place and channel it mentally." As Bonnie spoke, Klaus found himself in awe by her story. He couldn't believe her friends didn't notice she was gone.

Klaus spoke after a while, "So basically you said, 'Fuck it, I'll do it myself'," he surmised.

"Basically," Bonnie agreed. She debated what she would say next. If she wanted to reveal more of her story. She didn't like to talk about how she came back to life or the sacrifices she had to make. "I left her behind," Bonnie confessed. "I had a choice. I could have saved Elena. It was the whole point of me dying; saving her. Before I came back, Ayana told me that I could save Elena and bring her with me. She had revised the spell to accommodate her. It was risky but it was doable." Bonnie bit her lips, not sure why she was confessing this to Klaus when she hadn't spoken of this moment since it happened. He was the absolute last person that could judge her for her actions. Now would probably be the only time she would ever speak on it. "I chose not to. It was a tough decision but I was broken at that point. I'd done all I could for the sake of friendship and it left me dead with no one to even bury my body. So I left her behind." Bonnie could honestly say she didn't feel an ounce of guilt because of her decision. She only felt remorse about the fact that she didn't feel guilty. It made her question several times what kind of person she had become. Elena alive would mean she would always feel compelled to save her life. That meant a lifetime of stress for Bonnie since the girl could never, ever, stay out of harm's way. The thought made Bonnie roll her eyes.

"She was annoying anyway, no offense," Klaus never cared for Elena. She was a worse version of Katherine in his book. Katherine owned up to all of her shortcomings and didn't lie about the kind of person she was. Elena did. Everything about the girl was an act and Klaus saw right through it. "I wish I could say I had a valid reason for killing her but she was simply in the wrong place at the absolute wrong time," Klaus recalled the night he killed the doppelgänger. She and her friends had agreed to supply Klaus with her blood periodically so that he could build his Hybrid Army against Mikael but the doppelgänger had different plans. Plans her friends weren't privy to. Elena showed up at Klaus's house demanding to speak with him. It was right after he received the news that Mikael was in town and was planning to kill him. Elena's declarations about not being his personal blood black had set him on edge and without thinking, he pulled her heart straight out of her chest and used the blood from it to feed the rest of his transitioning army. He regretted his decision but after Mikael's death, he quickly got over it.

"Thanks for the explanation, I guess." It was still hard for Bonnie to talk about Elena without morning the girl she was before the supernatural life began to plague them. Truth told, she and Elena barely had a friendship at the end of it. There were no churches in the wild and Bonnie had to learn to save herself.

"Ayana," Bonnie glanced up when Klaus said her ancestor's name. "You mentioned that it was Ayana that helped you come back." Bonnie nodded. "I knew her. She gave my mother the immortality spell that turned my family, although, I doubt she had this in mind." Bonnie chuckled.

"She didn't but she also didn't seem to regret it. She wasn't big on The Spirits which is why she helped me. They cursed her womb after what she'd done to your family and she had to turn to expression magic to carry on the Bennett line. It was how I knew it was possible. She was the only other witch in my line to break free from The Spirits which is what I wanted. She pointed me to New Orleans to find Marie. Which is how I ended up here; Marie didn't practice Expression but she knew a shit load about it somehow," Bonnie explained.

"Ayana was always the rebel."

"Yes, she was."

"She was the only person in our village brave enough to stand up to Mikael on my behalf," Klaus revealed. That was something Bonnie didn't know. She knew that Ayana had known The Mikaelsons when they were human but she didn't know to what extent. She and Ayana never got the chance to talk about much of anything besides raising herself from the dead.

"I didn't know that."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Love." Klaus raised his glass to his lips before standing to his feet. "I will keep you alive. You have my word; you will never experience another death for as long as I live." The weight his words carried did not go unnoticed by Bonnie. Rather than address it, she simply nodded and raised her glass to him. She could drink to that.

"Well, then you have yourself an ally." Making a deal with the devil didn't seem so bad.

KMKMKMKMKMKMKMKM

After his talk with Bonnie, Klaus retreated to his room to mull things over. He was never the type to regret his decisions but lately, he's been second guessing everything he's done since he arrived to New Orleans. The spell was beginning to affect him more than he realized. The constant back and forth about what was real and what was the spell was starting to grate his nerves. He was usually sure about everything and now he wasn't.

No secrets. Bonnie's words kept echoing in his mind. He wanted to confess what he'd done but a feeling he hadn't felt since Mikael's death kept him from doing so. Fear. What would she do to him if she found out what he did? She would decimate him with a flick of her wrist. He couldn't have that happen. Not when the stars were finally starting to align in his favor. He could tell her once the spell fully matured. That's what he'll do. Maybe then she'd have more leniency on him. Maybe she wouldn't. Klaus had no way of knowing.

Learning that Ayana had been the one to bring her back shook Klaus to his core and reminded him of a promise he made the Bennett witch before she died. She made him promise that he would look after her children. The Spirits had punished her for being the catalyst in his family's creation and Ayana was afraid that without her there to protect them, The Spirits would harm them. Klaus had promised her that he would look after them and ensure that her bloodline would live long fruitful lives. However, in the quest of breaking the curse Esther placed on him, the Bennett line had taken a backseat until they were no longer a blip on his radar. Several centuries had turned him into a callous and tactless tyrant with a penchant for chaos. He didn't have the patience to babysit a bunch of witches. Ayana was long gone and her descendants were thriving.

Except they weren't. They were being persecuted during the witch trials, shackled in the name of slavery and abused by her best friends who meant her no good.

Klaus had failed Ayana. Bonnie's death confirmed that to her.

It made him realize how much he'd changed since he was first turned until now. He was a shell of the boy he once was. Ayana wouldn't recognize him if she saw him. The thought made Klaus wince. Ayana had shown him kindness in a world that showed him nothing but cruelty and he didn't honor her wishes. Though Bonnie didn't know any of this, he meant his promise to her. He would keep her alive not only because she asked but because he had centuries of broken promises to atone for. It was the least he could do given what he'd done.

He had to find a way to reverse the spell; for even if it killed him, he was dead either way.