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What Dennas had to say about Daenerys Targaryen:

"Destructive Dany."

"She must have a thing for the little people. I mean look at her party, first Tyrion Lannister and now Jon Snow."

"She doesn't even have to worry about knowing what to say at her rallies because by the time she announces all her titles they're over."

"What I want to know is why is Queen Elsa suddenly obsessed with fire?"

"Is she albino? Her hair is white. So white. And her skin so white. I like white skin. White skin is beautiful. But that is too white. Maybe too white. No, nobody can be too white. But she is white. Very very white."

"Say something positive about the other candidate. Mr Trumpet , it's your turn first."

"She's got a very pure bloodline."

What Dennas had to say about Jon Snow:

"Little Jon."

"Would you really trust a guy who used to date a wildling and is now dating destructive Dany? He will...I tell you this guy would he would have our borders so open that the wildlings will be swarming in. They would swarm right in. Like flies on shit I tell you. Flies on shit. I don't like flies. Do you like flies?"

"That other midget with destructive Dany."

"Dany's boy toy."

"How the hell did this nobody get elected to anything? I'd like to see the ballots on that one."

What Dennas had to say about Jonerys:

"Barbie and Ken on drugs."

"Targaryen Terrorist and Stark Simpleton."

"Imagine what a giant fuck you their union is to his family. Because they hate Targaryens. They really really hate them. Upright uptight Ned would be rolling in his grave if he knew."

What Dennas had to say about Sansa Stark:

"I like redheads. Fiery in bed and out! But you have to like freckles. But I don't like freckles. She doesn't have freckles. I've seen no freckles. Makes you wonder how much makeup does she wears because redheads they have freckles. Lots and lots of freckles."

"And this woman wanted to have the North be its own country? I say we let her. We don't need the north. Nothing good ever comes from the North. They got cold. And dogs. Many many dogs. I don't like cold. I don't like dogs."

"Is she as fiery in bed as she looks?"

"I like redheads but you have to be careful. Sometimes they are wildling. I don't like wildlings. She is for open borders and that that brother of hers isn't really her brother. So it really makes you wonder, who is her father? Is she wildling? No, I don't think she is wildling. Her mother has that red hair too. Sadly her mother is no longer a ten but she has hair, very very red hair."

"She's deeply deeply troubled which probably means she's great in bed. I like deeply troubled women. They are great in bed. Will let you do anything. Anything to them I tell you!"

What Dennas had to say about Jorah Mormont:

"Grandpa Friendzone."

"And he's been friends with her for so long. Like five years. No not five. Ten. Ten years his been friends with destructive Dany and in all these ten years nothing. Nothing to show for it. Not even a kiss. I tell you if that was me I would have hit that. Women love me. They all want me. But this guy is just sad. So very very pathetic."

What Dennas had to say about Missandei:

"That black girl."

"She speaks a thousand languages and she translates but with that accent could you understand? I couldn't understand her I really can't. You need a translator to translate her translations."

"She speaks four or five languages, but I don't like Dornish translators..."

"She's Essoian, actually Mr. Trumpet ."

"Essoian, Dornish, same thing."

What Dennas had to say about Greyworm:

"I hear that his worm isn't very wormy and doesn't wiggle very much."

"A no name nobody who somehow this guy somehow, I don't know how he did it, but he got close to destructive Dany, and now, now this guy he thinks he's some champion for the people? Gimme a break!"

What Dennas had to say about Tyrion:

"Little Lion Man."

"And he's short, he's really short, so I had to ask Pence, when this guy was at the VP debate did they have to bring a booster seat for him?"

"Munchkin man."

"And when he's sitting there at the bar or wherever he goes. How does it work? He's gotta be drunk off what a half a beer? Because he's half a man. But no, seriously he drinks what one or two before he is wasted? And then well what does he do? Because the woman I tell you they need more than one or two to go home with him. So he sits there and he waits. And he waits. Until finally some whore drinks enough to think hey this is a good idea. And how many beers does that take? Because it must take a lot."

To Daenerys: "This guy couldn't even be loyal to his own family, though what a family that was! Hey, do you think he felt left out? I mean he probably wanted some of that too! But this guy I was saying as I was saying he couldn't even be loyal to his own family, and you want him as your vp?"

"He likes to drink. He is small, so small, does one beer make him wasted? How does it work? Because a normal man you can drink four or five before you're drunk. But him? I don't drink. But he likes to drink. So how many beers does it take?"

"So if destructive Dany dies this guy would be president. Imagine that. Imagine it. Meeting with leaders. World leaders. He would sit there and his head would be where? It wouldn't reach top of the table. They would have to get a special chair just for him. Imagine that!"

What Dennas had to say about Brienne of Tarth:

"I'd like to pull her pants down and see what's under there."

"That's a woman? Are we talking about the type that's born or the type that's made?"

"Her rallies are so boring that even she falls asleep at them."

"Didn't your husband leave you for his sister?"

"I don't like masks. Everyone knows I don't like masks. But for her, they're a good look. I mean you look at the face covered and all you see is those baby blue eyes and that firm body and you think wow! What a damn fine piece of ass. But then the mask comes off and you're wondering what the damn hell happened to the rest of her."

"The lips of a fish, with the nose of an elephant, and the neck of a giraffe."

"Her father must be very very deeply disappointed in her. Can you imagine? He finds this nice guy, really nice guy, what was his name? Hunt? No Hyle? That's it, Hyle Hunt. Really good guy. Wants to marry her. But she won't have him. Would rather have a man who likes men, or a man obsessed with his sister. Who will she date next?"

"If my sister looked like that and my wife looked like THAT I'd probably leave my wife for my sister too."

"Fuck Loyalty she said, well that's certainly what her husband thought about his vows!"

"Mr Tarth...oh I'm sorry you're a Ms.., I can't tell!" he turns to the audience, "Can you guys tell?"

"Boring Brienne."

"She was obsessed with a gay guy for years, then she marries a guy who leaves her for his sister, now what's gonna be the deal with that next guy she wants? Is he gonna go fuck an animal or corpse or what? "

What Dennas had to say about Tormund Giantsbane, King of Wildling Country:

"King of the savages."

"So is this guy Ed Sheeran's brother or something? Cause he...he's got that red hair and they're all related, right?"

"An extraordinarily low IQ person. The lowest of the low. So low that it's double digits. Double digits I tell you! I don't like guys with low IQs. Because my IQ is the highest."

What Dennas had to say about Tormund and Brienne:

"Oh god. Can you imagine...just imagine for a second. What their children would look like. Monsters I tell you. Monsters!"

"Who do you think is on the top when they fuck?"

"He likes them hairy. Very very hairy. His ex was a real bear of a woman and Brienne, well she barely has hair on her head, barely any hair there. Her body makes up for it because you can't you just I know you can't have a body that manly and not have it covered in hair am I right?!"

What Dennas had to say about Wildlings:

"We're going to build a wall and the wildlings are going to pay it all."

"These people are savages. They don't read. They don't write. Their tempers are as hot as their hair. They believe in the old gods. Which is fine, really fine. But we are a faith of the seven nation. They would tear that all down, tear it all down I tell you."

"We still don't know how the sept happened. What happened there? Look I don't mean to point fingers but my money is on them."

"There used to be a wall. Thousands and thousands of years ago. A big, beautiful wall that kept them where they belonged. I am going to build a bigger wall, a much much bigger wall to keep them all out."

"They burn their dead. All of them. So they build all this fire, dangerous dangerous fire because they believe in some folk tales that the dead will rise. I've never seen the dead rise. Have you seen the dead rise?"

"They cheered when the sept exploded. I was in the North at the time. The north with its terrible terrible borders. When they heard the news they cheered, they danced in the streets and they cheered."

What Dennas had to say about Ellaira Sand:

"Dora the explorer wants open borders! Nobodies surprised by that!"

What Dennas had to say about Samwell Tarly:

"Sasquatch Sam"

"He's a loser. The biggest loser. The biggest biggest loser of them all."

"He has to like the wildlings because of who his wife is."

"Who do you think eats more? Him or Christie Chris?"

"An utter embarrassment to his family."

"And look at him. Really look at him. Fat. Very very fat. He must like food. And when he goes to a buffet he goes to eat and the people there must be scared because he will eat it all. Everything. Because when you see someone like that go in they will have seconds, and thirds, fourths, and fifths."

What Dennas had to say about Davos:

"Evil Santa."

"He was with Stupid Stannis for his governor run and then with Little Jon, and now he's with destructive Dany, but this guy is a loser. If you have him with you you will lose over and over and over."

"Dull Davos"

What Dennas had to say about Varys:

"Baldy"

"He switches parties more time than he switches socks!"

"Mr. Clean"

"I've never seen this guy with a woman, or with a man! Does he even have a cock? I have a cock. A good-sized cock. I don't think he has a good-sized cock."

"Mr. Oppurtunist"

"I have never seen anybody switch from candidate to candidate so much. How does anybody trust this guy? He is not great at very much. But he must be great, really great to get intel from. Not that I'm saying he does that. But probably, he probably does."

"Asexual? What is that? A sexual person. Very very sexual. We're all sexual. We all like sex. I know I like sex. I really really like sex. With lots of women. Beautiful beautiful women."

What Dennas had to say about Olenna Tyrell:

"Curtainhead"

"She thinks she's funny. Very very funny with her comebacks. Women always think they're funny. They aren't. Look when's the last time you went to see a female comedian? Never. Because they aren't funny."

"Crazy old bat."

"She is crude and obnoxious. A real embarrassment to her family."

"And her tits are saggy. So saggy that she trips over them."

"She has a big mouth. A really really big mouth. A mouth so big. And there's shit there's just all this shit that flies out of it. It flys I tell you. Buzz buzz buzz out of her mouth."

"I think she's got dementia. Look somebody really really needs to talk to her housekeeping and tell them look, this is where the curtains went."

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