November, 1997
Gambit had gone from being an injured in-patient to a prisoner in chains faster than you could say 'Jack Robinson.' He was seated on a square metal stool, bolted to the floor, his wrists bound behind his back in metal manacles that covered his hands. The manacles were chained to a loop of metal also bolted in the floor. His ankles were shackled in a similar fashion. He was in a huge empty room, all clad in metal. Above was an observation booth. No one was in the booth at this time, as most of the mutants were assembled and surrounding Gambit where he sat. Thankfully, he had at least been given a pair of pants, if you could call them that.
"Except here I think dese are ladies' britches on account of my balls getting crushed," Gambit complained.
"I just grabbed the first thing I saw that I thought might fit," Cyclops responded irritably.
"And what's with dis big red X over my groin? What is this, like some kinda decorative belt? Poor design choice, in my opinion. Like a target on my-."
"Be. Silent," Magneto said.
Gambit affixed his attention on the super-villain terrorist. Nice hair, he thought, thankfully silently this time. Maybe you're born with it? Maybe it's Maybelline? There was something absolutely repellent about Magneto, and it wasn't just his politics. Gambit actively felt the star in his chest pushing back against the man, as if they were two magnets repelling one another. Their very proximity was like a silent heated argument.
"Let us begin," Magneto stated. "What is your name?"
What is your quest? What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? He didn't even chastise his brain for its rambling this time, the distraction was welcome.
"I call myself Gambit."
"Is that so? Only that this young woman believes your name to be 'Remy.'" Magneto pointed at Rogue.
"You ever heard of anyone named 'Remy' before? Sounds made up. Must be an alias," Gambit responded.
Rogue made a sound to establish her absolute disgust and contempt for him.
"No, I have not met an individual so-named before. Which leads me to believe 'Remy' is, in fact, your real name. If you were to choose an alias, perhaps something commonplace would be more suitable. John, perhaps?"
"I'll take dat under future advisement," Gambit responded.
"I strongly suggest you answer my inquiries with more thoughtfulness."
"Ve haf vays of makink you talk!" Gambit sassed in an exaggerated German accent.
This incensed Magneto. He strode forward, seemingly with the intention of wrapping his hands around Gambit's throat. But when his hands reached out, Gambit pushed him back, a sort of buzzy, staticky forcefield that crackled in the air as Magneto approached. Magneto paused, and his fury melted into something else. As if he were considering Gambit as more than a nuisance, maybe a very real threat.
"Why were you in my office?" Magneto asked, reining in his anger.
"Thought there'd be something worthwhile t'steal in there," Gambit responded.
"So, you admit to being a thief."
"Damn straight."
Magneto glowered. "Who was that man with you in my office?"
Gambit searched Magneto's face, looking for a clue that the question was some kind of trick. "You mean you don't know? He was standing there like he owned de place. I thought he was one of ...you people."
'You people'…? his brain shook his head in shame. Nothing good ever comes from saying those two words.
"He is not a member of this institution."
"Institution is right," Remy said.
Randle McMurphy said: Jesus, I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this!
"And why should I be de one interrogated here? You, being an escaped terrorist, and them," Gambit nodded his head in Cyclops and Marvel Girl's direction. "Being mutant bounty hunters. Y'all think you're head and shoulders above me? Traitors to your own kind, is what you are."
"You broke into our home," Magneto said. "We have the right to ask questions."
"The 'mutant hunters' is a diversion. It's a front," Cyclops said. "For our mission."
"Of all the stupid...," Wolverine said testily.
Gambit was in agreement with Wolverine, but didn't admit to it. This place is lies on lies on lies. Fake mutant hunters, fake school, fake heroes, supervillains in disguise. He had hope, just one time he would be proven right, that people weren't as bad as they seemed. It seemed to Gambit that 'hope' was turning out to be a four-letter word.
"I'm afraid you're right, Logan," Marvel Girl said. "We only recently realized our mistake."
"What mistake was that?" Gambit asked. "Didn't bury the bodies deep enough? Where are all dem mutants you kidnapped? I saw the cells, they empty. Where'd you all put those kids? Are they dead? In some kinda camp?"
Marvel Girl shook her head: "No… they're…"
Magneto interrupted, seemingly more furious than before. To Gambit he shouted: "Your insinuations are abhorrent!" To Cyclops and Marvel Girl he said: "You do not have to answer this thief's questions!"
Wolverine nodded his head in Cyclops and Marvel Girl's direction: "Now wait a minute, Magnus. I want to hear what they have to say."
"They're at X-Factor headquarters," Cyclops answered. "We're training them to control and use their mutant abilities. Some of them have warrants out for their arrest. We thought if it appeared they had been apprehended by government operatives, namely us, then they could have their freedom, and a chance to start over. Maybe begin school next fall."
"If your intentions were so pure," the woman Gambit now knew as Storm spoke. "Then why the subterfuge? Why did you hide...from us? From me?" This question she posed to Marvel Girl. Her voice was pained and she appeared quite sad.
Cyclops and Marvel Girl looked at one another, a silent communication seemed to pass between them. Cyclops turned his visored gaze upon Magneto. "I think the answer to that is apparent."
Boy, this is some real melodrama right here, Gambit thought. Daytime Emmy award-winning drama. But if factions are divided, maybe that's a good distraction from little ol' me.
"May we return to the matter at hand?" Magneto interrupted and pointed at Gambit.
Spoke too soon.
"Your acquaintance with Sabretooth leads me to believe you are affiliated in some way with the murderers who slaughtered the Morlocks," Magneto said.
Gambit said nothing.
"What is your answer?" Magneto demanded.
"I'm sorry, was dat a question?"
Magneto turned to Marvel Girl. "Remove the information from him," he ordered.
"We are not taking orders from you," Cyclops said, his stoicism pushed to the brink.
You're not the boss of me, Gambit thought.
Marvel Girl shook her head. "I no longer have telepathy," she said. "Telekinesis only, but much more powerful than before."
"So, you are incapable. Perhaps Elisabeth would have the power to examine the thief's thoughts."
Thief's thoughts thief's thoughts thief's thoughts, Gambit thought. Say that ten times real fast.
The last person in the room, Elisabeth, heretofore known as Bets said: "I can't...hold on to a single thought in his head. Half of what he's thinking is in a regional dialect I don't understand. Some thoughts seem to be in...Pig Latin? Most seem to be pure nonsense."
Ou'reyay utecay enwhay ou'reyay angryyay, Remy thought.
Elisabeth glared at him. "There's seemingly no focus, it's completely random."
"So, he is mentally deranged?" Magneto said, as if this was all the confirmation he needed.
"I think what she means t'say is that my stream of consciousness is less of a stream than a white water rapids," Gambit told his captors. "Lots of rocks, maybe a whirlpool. Definitely a waterfall."
"Very well," Magneto said, ignoring Gambit. "There are other ways to gain information regarding his plot. Rogue?"
Rogue moved forward, and Wolverine put a hand out to block her. "Rogue, you don't have to-," Wolverine began.
"No, Logan. Ah don't have to. Ah want to." She strode forward towards where Gambit sat, pulling off a glove as she did so.
Gambit eyed her warily, looked at her bare hand, then her face. Her expression was quite angry. "Ah guess Ah shoulda known…" she said, as if she were disgusted with herself. "Why'd Ah let mahself think..."
"I'm sorry, Rogue," Gambit said, contritely. "I was honest in all I told you. I never once lied t'you."
"A lie of omission is still a lie!" she shouted at him.
"Oh, like how you failed to mention the very real global terrorist you've got headin' up dis whole operation?" Gambit answered back with the same amount of heat.
"Everyone deserves a second chance!" she yelled.
"Is that right!?" he yelled back. "Then let me de hell go! I didn't do anything to y'all! I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place here! I got little choice in de matter! Let me go and you'll never hear tell of me again!"
"Right, let's let an unrepentant criminal thief with a bomb in his chest go free!" she said sarcastically.
"Unrepentant criminal..? Oh, mon Dieu, de absolute sanctimony and hypocrisy…" Gambit began, muttering to himself.
He suddenly found his head snapping to the left as she struck the side of his face with an open palmed slap. Gambit was stunned into silence. There was only the burning sensation of the strike and the sound of Candra's voice in his head berating him: "Stupid...idiotic...worthless…"
Rogue was silent, seemingly stunned as well. She looked at her bare hand, then back at Gambit. Tentatively, she reached out and touched the side of his burning face with her fingertips. He threw himself away from her touch, sliding off the stool to land on the ground. "You-don't you-put your hands-on me again!" he spat.
"Ah can't…" Rogue began slowly. "Ah can't absorb him. He's got...some kinda force field."
Absorb me? Gambit thought with alarm. What in the sam fucking hill does that mean? He began struggling against his bonds in earnest; he could just blow these shackles off, throw these people away from him. The star in his chest began to grow, suddenly too bright. He stopped struggling, now laying flat on his stomach, his forehead pressed into the cold steel floor. He struggled to breathe normally. Gambit wanted to escape, but not at the cost of killing his captors.
Marvel Girl seemed to sense his distress. "Calm down," she began.
"Never in de history...of someone saying 'calm down'...has anyone ever calmed down!" he snarled into the floor.
"You're right, I'm sorry. It will be okay. Just inhale," Marvel Girl said. "Exhale. You can get through this."
Cyclops and Wolverine moved towards where Marvel Girl knelt beside Gambit. "No, stay back," she told them. "If he releases his powers, my TK bubble may not be enough to contain it. Just give him space."
Magneto seemed to take this to heart, because he departed, the enormous sliding doors opening and closing to allow him to exit.
"No one is going to put their hands on you," Marvel Girl was saying. "Maybe we can start over. We'll take off the manacles-."
"Jean," Cyclops said. "I had a thought. What if he was sent here? With the intent that he'd...go off? Killing us?"
"What, an assassin?" Wolverine asked.
Gambit laughed hoarsely into the floor. "Isn't that ironic! Don't cha think?"
"Maybe not as an assassin. But as a plant? A bomb?" Cyclops asked.
This message will self-destruct in five seconds...Gambit thought.
"Could he be an unwitting pawn, sacrificed?" Cyclops suggested.
"He did say his name was 'Gambit,'" Wolverine conceded. They regarded one another, seeming to weigh the ominous implications of this.
Gambit rocked his forehead back and forth on the ground. "I just wanna go home," he muttered, finally being honest with himself and everyone else.
Magneto returned, much to Gambit's absolute dismay. Gambit watched the man from one eye where he lay face-down on the floor. Magneto was carrying something in his hands. It appeared to be yet another kind of restraint.
"Nope!" Gambit said, throwing himself into a seated position and scrambling backwards on his butt as far as his bonds would allow.
Marvel Girl attempted to waylay Magneto. "Wait, we are going to try to gain his-," she began.
"I am in charge of this school, as Xavier so wished," Magneto told her. "And I will decide—."
"You cannot think to bring that device in here," Storm said hotly. "Remove it at once!"
"I recognize your hesitation, Storm," Magneto replied. "Understandable, given your current condition. But this is not a weapon, as the one employed against you and Rogue. It does not neutralize a mutant's abilities. It is a tool. It will inhibit powers, not remove them."
"Not a weapon?" Cyclops asked in disbelief. "The inhibitor field you used to protect your island wasn't a weapon? I seem to recall Colossus nearly dying because of your tool."
"Drowning," Magneto said, "was not directly caused by the inhibitor field. It was an unfortunate circumstance that he encountered the field while underwater."
Gambit had no idea what was being discussed and wanted no part of it. These people bickered amongst themselves so much, it made Thief/Assassin negotiations seem downright civil. Gambit understood that Magneto intended to strap something to his chest to stop his powers from working, not the back-story. He was not too eager to find out what would happen if someone were to unplug his internal Lite-Brite.
"That thing's hardly bigger than a hockey puck," Wolverine said. "How'd you get your whole computer to fit in there?"
"It became much easier to reduce the mechanical footprint of the device once I had access to Shi'ar technology," Magneto replied, and the look of consternation that passed over each of the other mutants' faces was not missed by Gambit.
No bueno, he thought. No me gusta.
Magneto released the device he held and it hovered in midair borne by his magnetic ability, moving towards Gambit like some kind of arcade claw-game with him as the cheap stuffed prize. Gambit pushed back with his own powers. The inhibitor doo-hickey started to glow.
"Do you wish-to destroy yourself?" Magneto said, as they warred one another with invisible forces none of the others could feel or see.
"I did it once or twice already-and look-totally fine!" Gambit panted.
"You believe—you can best me?" Magneto asked.
"No, and I-wouldn't want to. Your best-is just de-worst!"
The other assembled mutants began to back away, seeming now to feel the charged particles in the air.
Rogue suddenly gasped. "Ah'm burned!" she cried, less hurt than surprised that such a thing could happen to her nigh-invulnerable skin.
Gambit immediately stopped resisting. The inhibitor wrapped itself around his shoulders, under his arms, to criss-cross across his chest and lock behind his shoulder blades. There was a sort of touchpad at the center of his chest. As he watched, the thing seemed to flash on, and it gave a sort of pneumatic hiss as it fully engaged, tightening around his torso.
"Hey!" Gambit cried.
"Magnus, I urge you to reconsider!" Storm pleaded.
"What if he needs his powers to live?" Marvel Girl shouted.
"Then I imagine he will die," Magneto answered.
The front panel made a small beep, then began a whirring sound like a computer processor. Gambit suddenly felt as if gravity was crushing him, that time was moving too slowly, that all his stamina was leached away, as if being drained from him by a vampire. Gambit slowly collapsed onto his side and the world faded into shades of gray.
Next time: Interrogation, part 2
We have ways - German pronunciation of "We have ways of making you talk", coupled with the image of World War II-era interrogation. A comedic play on the phrase "We have ways to make men talk." from the 1935 movie The Lives of a Bengal Lancer.
Air speed velocity of an unladen sparrow - Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
I must be crazy to be in a loony bin - One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest (film)
This message will self destruct - Mission:Impossible
Pig Latin, Remy says: You're cute when you're angry.
The whole episode with Magneto's island/inhibitor field is relayed in Uncanny X-Men #150, I, Magneto. He's later put on trial in #200 for the crimes he commits in #150, which I referenced in an earlier chapter. Took me a bit to figure out where to get an inhibitor from when Genosha in this timeline has yet to happen, but it ended up better than falling back on the dumb-ole inhibitor collar trope, I think.