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Scrublord Yoda

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The next morning, Jaune woke up to quietly rumbling thunder and the smell of roasting nuts. Rolling over, he pushed himself up and eased out the kinks and stiffness that came from sleeping in armor. It was an old routine of stretching and flexing that he'd done for a long time, now, that ended in a splash of cool water from his canteen on his face. That made sure he was awake and let him slick his hair back and scrub his face off, which would do until he could actually wash his face.

His least favorite aspect of journey…

You started to stink fast, if you couldn't find a decent inn.

"Lord." He blinked sleepily and turned as Pyrrha came over, holding a pair of steaming bowls and offering one to him.

It was a stew made of nuts and mushrooms and shredded bits of meat from their rations. He spooned a bite into his mouth and hummed, dropping onto his bedroll to eat. Pyrrha joined him and they ate while Nora and Ren talked over the fire and their own morning meal. His Shield finished before him, wolfing down her food and setting her bowl aside to wait while he ate.

Finally, as he took up the last spoonful of meat and nuts, Pyrrha said, "A storm is coming."

"Mhm." He looked up, watching the dark clouds coming towards them and frowned. "We should have the day at least."

"Half." Mort hissed in his ear, "The winds, Jaune. I can feel them speeding up later."

"Maybe half…" He sighed. How did Mort's 'feeling' even work? Was he feeling the future, or something else? He'd never asked, just trusting his friend's words, but now he was curious and wished he had. Moving on, he said, "We'll need to hurry and find the Goliath. Or we risk getting caught out by the storm."

"You're intent on facing it today, then?"

"Who knows how long the rains will last?" He countered, "They'll wash away any tracks. And even a small Goliath can ignore a storm and do a lot of damage, if it wants to."

"Hmm…."

"You're opposed?"

"To seeking out battle?" She snorted and shook her head, "No. I would never. Only… Well, I expected more caution from you."

"I'm not rushing into anything without thought." He explained with a little shrug, "I just don't want to risk being stuck out here for a week while a storm runs along the coast, and then another to track it down."

"I suppose that is fair." She nodded, "I certainly don't enjoy the thought of lazing about while people suffer…"

"Exactly." And to that end, "Ren, Nora, are you ready to get moving?"

"I just have to bank the fire." Ren answered with a nod, "After I burn the waste meat and mushroom waste cuts. I don't want fresh food to attract animals, in case we want to use this camp again."

"I doubt we will…"

"The rain, I know." Ren nodded, "But better not to lock it out. The storm could blow east, or something similar, after all."

It was a fair point, and Ren didn't exactly have an enchanted sword to tell him for fact that he was wrong, so Jaune couldn't argue it. Instead he just shrugged and stood up to help him burn the food scraps and bank the fire. Once that was done, they could get back on the trail and head towards the rivers Nora had spotted. Hopefully, like she'd said, they would find something there. Tracks, or even just damage to the forest, or something else they could go off of.

But… Something felt wrong about all of this.

What, he couldn't say, but something.

And he knew by now to trust his gut…

The rivers Nora lead them to were wide and deep, and snaked through the forest am between each other the way only a river could. Every now and again, as they walked it, they came across small pools where the rivers meeting let them pool together in small depressions in the ground. The water was fresh, clear, fast moving, and sprinkled by fish and river-plants. After a while, they found a fast flowing place to top up their canteens and Jaune took the moment to climb a rock and look ahead of his team.

Still nothing…

"Jaune…"

"I don't know." He murmured, answering the spirit's unspoken question. "It's so strange…"

"If I am not interrupting, my Lord?" He turned and cocked his head at his partner to give her the permission he could hear her asking for in her voice. "Nora found tracks and… Signs."

"The Goliath?"

"No." She shook her head, turning and gesturing for him to follow her. "If you would?"

"Sure." He nodded, "By your lead."

Pyrrha led him up the river, along muddy embankments and around a sharp bend in the river that hid a deep, wide pool surrounded by tall trees grown right at the edge of the water, their roots spindling out into the shallows of the pond in a web of wood. Thick, ropy vines crawled along the roots and floated in the water, with broad, colorful leaves and huge, dull violet flowers swarmed by bugs. Frogs swam and hopped between the roots, hunting those bugs, while wide-mouthed fish hunted them from the water.

It was beautiful and pristine…

If not for the handful of only recently dead trees lying in the center of the lake.

"Ren," Jaune started, standing in the thigh-deep water with his team scattered around him, "did anyone mention any tornadoes recently?"

"No." The taciturn man answered without even the barest hint of doubt in his voice. "No one said a thing. And there wasn't anything on the news, either."

"You checked?"

"Before we came out here." He confirmed just as surely, adding, "Just to be safe. I would have packed for a storm if I saw anything. Flares, water purifiers, Dust-based fire-starting kits for wet wood."

"That's detailed…"

"My Renny likes to be prepared." Nora explained brightly, clapping her Ren on the shoulder and beaming a smile. "So he does research 'fore we head out anywhere. As best he can, anyway. Then I get the stuff he says we'll need."

"By stealing." Ren pointed out dryly, "Usually, at least."

"Hey, when in Mistral…" Nora shrugged unflinchingly, looking past them at the little pile of trees. A moment passed and she hummed, "Haven't been there long. And… Some o' the bark looks like it's been roughed up, kinda."

"How can you tell?"

"Lived in the woods most of my life, and fought in 'em for most of that time, Fearless Leader." She explained quietly, "You learn to recognize the signs. Those trees didn't just fall there, and I think someone shot at 'em too."

"Shot at them…"

"Mhm." She pointed to the one closest to them and explained, "Towards the base of the trunk. Right above the broken roots. See the burns and scores?"

"I do…" They were small, at least from here, but there were half a dozen impact points at the bottom of the water-logged trunk. It was a small thing, but more than enough to be suspicious.

"Should we inspect it, Lord?"

"Yeah." He nodded, turning and giving Nora a look. "Swim over there, tell me what you see."

"Why me~?" She grinned ear to ear, shoulder off her pack and holding it out for Ren to take. Still grinning maniacally, she asked, "Wanna see me all moist and wet Jauney~ It's just my combat clothes, but I'm sure people are into that kinda-"

"No, Nora, that's not it." He chuckled, paying Ren a look and snorting when he only rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Nora!" Mort rasped over him, "C'mon, Jaune, let me have fun!"

"Just… Go take a look, please." He sighed, shaking his head tiredly and turning to wade back to the dry roots above water level for a seat. She shuffled by, rolling her shoulders, and he added, "And without any of your lecherous teasing, please and thanks, Nora."

"Aww, c'mon, Jaune." Nora groaned, "That's half the fun!"

"Yeah!" Mort agreed, "It is!"

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"The other trees had it, too." Nora explained, tugging her still-damp tank top on while the rest of her clothes dried beside the fire Ren had slapped together for her. Thankfully she'd accepted the cloak Jaune offered to cover up the pitiful excuse for shorts she was wearing, even if her top's state had Mort cackling under his breath. He ignored it, though, and focused on Nora's explanation, "Bullet marks, and blades, too. Looks like someone was trying to kill the trees with axes and shotguns. And molotovs or somethin', too."

"Molotovs?"

"One of the trees was burnt to hell 'n back." She explained, waving a hand at the large pond through the trees they were sheltering between. "Half the trunk looks like it saw a wildfire."

"Like someone tried to kill it with shotguns and axes…" Jaune murmured, stomach turning rancid in his guts. Grinding his teeth, he snarled, "Damn it, we aren't hunting a Goliath out here."

"No." Ren agreed, "We are most certainly not."

"Would anyone find it too troublesome to fill me in…?" Pyrrha asked shyly, ducking her head and rubbing her neck when Jaune and Nora turned to her. Sheepishly, she explained, "I, uh, do not recognize all Grimm. So I… Well, I'm afraid I don't understand what you all are implying."

"It's a Gheist." Ren answered succinctly, going on when no one said anything. "Most likely, the 'Goliath' was a selection of stone the Gheist used to attack someone. Or someone simply saw these trees in a similar shape from afar and assumed. Regardless, the lack of signs elsewise of a Goliath, and the fact the Grimm withdrew, mean it's the likeliest answer."

"It doesn't explain where the other Grimm went, though." Nora pointed out, reclining against the root behind her with her hands behind her head, and a grin when Jaune flushed. "C'mon, Boss. Try to focus."

"I hate you so much sometimes…"

"Do not dare to badmouth the Queen!" Mort rasped, "Not when she is being so gracious! So generous! So… Bounteous!"

Gods, again, why did he have to have a lech for a sword spirit? Was it some way of balancing out the power it brought him by adding embarrassment and headaches? He couldn't be sure, but it fit well enough. And if Nora knew, he was sure that would only make her teasing even worse, too. Damn it all...

Forcing himself to fucs, he said, "We need to get back to Lady Winchester. A baby Goliath is one thing, but Gheists aren't to be trifled with."

"At the very least, the mission parameters will need to be revised." Pyrrha nodded with a deep, troubled sort of frown. When Jaune nudged her foot with his she rolled her eyes and admitted with all the cheer of a woman in a dentist's chair, "I am… Unhappy, not to be able to face a Goliath."

"Yeah, I figured you would be." Jaune chuckled, leaning back against the tree he was standing in front of. "You love a good fight, Pyr."

"I-I don't deny it." She shrugged shamelessly, "It was, is, rather, my life. The need for a proper, honorable, prestigious fight is in my very blood."

"Same, girl." Nora nodded, her face the very picture of sage wisdom in spite of her state of near enough to undress to fluster Pyrrha when she looked at Nora again without thinking. Green eyes widened and she turned away, coughing on air while Nora went on, ignoring her wholly, "Big monsters, big fights 'n big bombs. That's the life, yeah."

"I, uh, prefer my spear, thank you…"

"Yeah, only cuz you ain't tried out any of my bombs." Nora grinned when Pyrrha paid her a confused little look. Then she winked, crossed her arms under her chest to lift her breasts up a bit, and added, "Just lemme show you somethin' new, I'm sure you'll love it and come right around to my way of thinking."

"N-N-N-Nora!"

"Nora." Ren sighed while Pyrrha wheezed and hacked on her own breath, arms flailing and ponytail whipping around for the speed she shook her head. "That's enough teasing Pyrrha for her naivete for now. Alright?"

"Fiiiiine." Nora sighed, pulling Jaune's cloak up to her chest and chuckling. "But only because you asked me to, Renny. You know I can't say no to you~"

"The kingdom has enemies, Jaune!" Mort warned loudly, and then hissed when Jaune flicked his gem. "It is true, Jaune, flick me thought you might! We have a new foe, one that seeks to hide away nature's art from us!"

Gods help him…

"Mhm." Ren nodded, oblivious to his apparently newfound status as a criminal of the state. Or at least, Mort's state of perversion. Quietly, almost as if to himself, the man murmured, "We know that very well, yes."

"...Moving forward." Jaune cut in when the silence left behind grew pregnant enough to be uncomfortable. "When Nora's clothes are dried, we need to return to the mountain and report our findings. I don't know about any of you, but I didn't come out here equipped to pick off a mask the size of my head on the front of a boulder floating forty feet in the air."

"I could maybe land a shot." Ren argued weakly, flicking one of his Stormflowers out and holding it up to show them "If someone helped me get up to it, at least."

"Pyr and I could probably manage that." Nora pointed out, "We're both pretty damn strong, and Renny, you don't weigh more than a hundred pounds. Maybe a hundred and fifty, if I wanna be generous. I know I could manage to throw you a good twenty fit if I used Magnhild."

"I suppose…"

"It's immaterial for now." Jaune cut in to point out, waving the matter off and explaining. "Once Beacon finds out, they're likely as not to raise the mission ranking and call us back to Vale-"

"Oh come on, Jaune!" Nora moaned, throwing her arms in the air and groaning when Ren hissed her name at her. Pulling the clock back up, she growled, "They can't make us do anything."

"Nora, we're students-

"Students." She hissed sharply, "They don't own us, Jaune. This isn't Mistral."

"Nora!" Ren snapped, more than conscious of the way Pyrrha shrank in on herself, a mix of shame and anger flickering across her face."

"It's not, Renny, and love ya, but let me talk." Nora argued hotly, eyes glinting with firelight when she turned back to Jaune. "And I ain't leaving until we know these people aren't bein' left to fend for themselves with a Grimm rippin' and tearin' everything up. I just- That ain't why I came to Beacon. Who I'm gonna be."

"Nor I." Jaune agreed, waving a hand at Pyrrha, "But that was low. Apologise."

"T-that's not necessary-"

"No, he's right, that was shitty of me." Nora admitted freely, paying Pyrrha a small smile and offering, tenderly. "Sorry, Pyr. I shouldn't of said that, it was… Well, insensitive don't quite work, but- I was angry, ya know?"

"Was…?"

"Fine, am." She rolled her eyes, "Bite me, Red."

"I-Is that an offer…?"

"Oh, she's got flirts! Oh ho ho ho!" Nora crowed happily, grinning wide and toothily while Pyrrha froze, eyes wide as she realized the particular box she'd opened up. Cocking her head, she promised, "And it's definitely an offer for you, beautiful."

"U-Um- I-I- J-Jaune!" Pyrrha squeaked finally, face burning to match her hair, "Help!"

"Nora." He laughed, "Stop trying to break Pyrrha, please."

"Break her in, more like-"

"Oh my Dust!" Pyrr squawked, hiding her face behind her shield and keening. "Whyyyy?"

"Nora, please stop trying to-" Jaune was cut off by a trio of shrill, trilling alarms screeching out from each of their Scrolls. Pyrrha and Nora only hit the 'Mute' button, and Jaune's was still dead, but Ren flicked his open. After a moment of reading, his brows furrowed and his eyes hardened. Worried, Jaune asked, "Ren-"

"Vale was attacked three hours ago." He explained quietly, standing as he did and looking to his leader, "Message has no details, but… All teams are being recalled wherever possible on emergency orders."

"Gods above…" Jaune murmured, pushing off the tree. He could tell he was in shock and shook it off as best he could, "Vale… We have to get back to Vale. As soon as possible."

"But the settlement-"

As if prompted by her words, Jaune could hear the distant tolling of alarm bells. They carried well over the forest, heavy and sonorous, and filled Jaune with dread. An attack right after the one in Vale was too close to be a coincidence. And that chilled him to the bone. But, for now, they had a job to do.

"Vale needs us, but so does the city here." He explained simply, "Our only ride is from the mountain, though. So it has to take priority. Nora, get dressed, deal with the wet clothes. Pyrrha, you and I are taking the lead quad. All speed. Understood?"

"Yes, Lord."

"Gotcha."

"Understood."

Nodding, he turned to quickly check the bags on both of their borrowed quads while Nora stood and yanked her clothes on. They had to ride to battle, he knew that for fact… But this felt like more than just that.

But what…?

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This story is weirdly horny for my work… Like, ninety percent of it is Nora being a minx and a tease and Mort being a pervert, but… Yeah.

Anyway! Mysterious mysteries! Why on Earth would a Gheist be in Vale? And why would it be harassing by impersonating a Goliath~? How positively odd!

And what happened in Vale- Okay, we all know what happened in Vale. But what happened when what happened happened? Okay. That sentence is difficult but you know what I mean!

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Sebine :

Mort had fun this chapter. Tweaked that scene in a tiny, infinitesimal bit for your amusement.

Densharr :

Oh, I have ideas~!