maddiehans said:

Chim sneaks into Maddie's room the night before their wedding lol

A/N: I'm literally having stress hiccups rn and can't stop googling the election results so I'm forcing myself to write this to get my mind off of things…If you live in the US I fucking hope you voted (and not for the orange)

Today was the day. It had just past midnight, and Howie was being escorted back to his hotel room. He was tipsy, hadn't quite passed the line into drunk, and he'd had a "night out with the boys" (which had of course included Hen as well).

He walked inside his room, and took stock, going into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He wanted to see Maddie, but it was too late.

Or was it? He knew that she didn't really sleep when she was stressed, and this whole affair had definitely gotten her anxiety up. He hadn't wanted to do this dumb "Can't see the bride before the wedding" thing in the first place.

"Do you know that it's rooted in an old medieval tradition?" He'd rambled earlier that day. "That's very sexist, I might add. The grooms weren't supposed to see the brides because they were arranged marriages, and the bride's father was afraid that if he saw her before the wedding and thought she was ugly, he wouldn't marry her."

"Be that as it may, Maddie has chosen to spend the night out with her friends, and you chose to spend the night out with yours," Hen had replied. "Now come on, another round."

He looked at himself in the mirror, and sighed, scraping a hand over his jaw. He had to shave in the morning. He'd almost been hoping that the wedding was an excuse to have some scruff but Maddie had vetoed that idea.

He really wanted to see her. He had a one track mind, and finally, he left his room, careful to keep quiet. They had all gotten rooms on one end of the hotel for the guests and bridal party, and he knew that if he was loud, there would definitely be annoyed firemen telling him to hush.

He knocked at Maddie's door, and waited, before grabbing his phone and texting her.

She had opened the door before he even sent it, and yanked him inside. "Did anyone see you?" She asked, and he shook his head. He was just past the too drunk to react to this mark.

"I wanted to see you," he began, and she replied by kissing him. Passionately.

He kissed her back, happy that it had proved to be her wish as well. His arms wrapped around her, and he held tight.

He really loved this woman.

She pulled away. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm feeling really anxious."

"Why would you ever apologize for kissing me?" He said, leaning to kiss her nose. "Don't be silly."

Even through his tipsy haze, he could see that she was stressing. For one thing, she was wide awake at midnight. Her lamp was on, an audiobook was playing (listening to audiobooks was always her last resort when she really couldn't sleep), and he saw a mug of tea on her bedside table as well.

"You okay, Maddie?" He asked, sobering a little.

"I am," she said. "I am. I'm excited for this. I'm happy."

Her voice was just a little too high for him to fully believe her, and he sank into a chair, holding her hands and pulling her onto his lap. "Why don't we talk about it?" He asked, smoothing his hands over her body in soothing motions.

She leaned her head on his. "I can't," she said. "I mean, I can. I don't know."

"I can wait," he whispered, kissing her shoulder.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, and finally she began to speak. "Don't expect there to be any logic to this, because there isn't," she finally said. "But I'm fucking terrified."

"Why?" He asked, his hands rubbing over her.

"Because there's just this sense, this fear that...that getting married will change things."

"Well, it will change some things," he said.

She buried her face in his hair. "Like I said, there's no logic to this but...things with Doug didn't get really bad until...until we were married. And I know," she rushed to add. "I know you aren't Doug. I know that. I know that the differences between you two are night and day. There isn't any comparison, but I can't get my brain to believe that."

She was crying, he realized, her body shaking, and he almost wanted to cry in return. He hated that this was still hurting her, but he didn't know if wounds like hers ever really went away.

"I love you," he whispered. "And I'm so grateful that you're able to open up to me like this. Let me assure you, it won't be like that. I promise to cherish you and never do anything that would hurt you."

She pulled away, her face red. "I hate that I can't stop crying," she said. "My night ended early, I just couldn't deal with pretending anymore. I want to be happy, Howie. I want to be the typical bride, just laughing and getting drunk with her friends, but I don't know how to turn this off."

"Maddie, I wouldn't want to see you turn this off even if you could," he said. "One of the biggest reasons that I love you is because of how much you care, and how passionately you care. You have a huge heart, despite how many times you were hurt, and I can't believe you opened it up to me. And you aren't the typical bride, but let's face it, most brides haven't lived through what you have."

He cupped her face in his, wiping tears away with his thumb. "Come here," he whispered, and she leaned her head to meet his. They kissed, slow and gentle.

"Howie, I have one request," she said, pulling slowly away.

"Anything," he told her.

"Make me forget about this," she said, climbing from his lap and unbuttoning her pajama top. His blood flowed straight to his groin as she cast it aside, and slid her bottoms down as well. She hadn't been wearing underwear.

He stood up, ready to lift her up, but she was reaching at his shirt, tugging it out of his pants, and pulling it over his head. "Someone is impatient," he murmured, undoing his belt and shucking his pants off. And then there they were, just the two of them, nothing in between.

He wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her. They fell back onto the bed, and Howie was happy to do just as he'd asked, and help her forget. He started at her neck, placing soft kisses there, that slowly became hungrier. Then down to her breasts, sucking at them, swirling his tongue around her rosy nipples, and sucking until she was crying out, clutching at his hair, begging him not to stop.

He slowly kissed down her belly, until he reached the apex of her thighs, and he kissed there as well. He loved the way she came undone during oral, in ways like no other. The first few times they'd tried, she had been so hesitant, and so resistant. She had been too nervous to let herself feel pleasure, and she'd held his hand in a death grip. There had been many more tries since then, and they were finally at the point where she was able to relax….and enjoy.

He lapped his tongue over her, and she was shifting on the bed, tiny moans escaping from her mouth. He paused, lifting his head, and he heard her gasp of disappointment. "Are you going to say my name?" He asked, looking straight at her, and she nodded. His finger slid inside her, and then another finger, and she tensed around them, jerking against the movement.

"I said, will you say my name?" He repeated, and she gasped again as his fingers moved in and out.

"Howie," she managed, and he smiled, leaning to kiss her down there so that she could feel his smile against her body. She squirmed against him as he continued to pleasure her, and his tongue slid over her heat.

"Howie," she gasped. "Just like that...please...Howie…."

He renewed his ministrations, feeling how hard he was getting to hear her say his name like that. This was one of his favorite parts, when he was breathing her in, tasting her, and he could feel the way her body reacted. He knew what her face would look like right now, and he'd memorized how she looked when she came, the tension, and then how relaxed she'd become.

He was going to make that happen for her.

His fingers moved faster, and his tongue swirled over her, his other hand hooked under her thigh and wrapped her leg around his head. She was gasping his name, and he grabbed her ass, holding tight, feeling as her body tensed, and then she was melting into him.

He pulled away, moving up on the bed to lie next to her, watching her face as she came back down to earth. "Hi," he whispered, his hand tracing over her face. He caressed her nose, ran his thumb over her lip.

She stared at him, and then rolled onto her side, moving closer until there was no space left between them, and her head was in his shoulder. She wrapped her arms tight around him, and Howie held her even tighter. She was crying, and he kissed her shoulder, feeling her body shake. These were outright sobs, and he wished he could do something, wished he could help, but he knew that there were no words for how she felt right now. So he just lay there, holding the woman he loved, knowing that this would pass, knowing that what she needed most right now was to just feel his love.

So he'd give it to her, just as he was, just as he did every day, willingly, and fully. He loved her when she was sad, when she was happy, and when she was mad. He loved to see every emotion, he loved every mood, he loved when she was on her period and hated the world.

And he wanted to make sure that she knew that, today and everyday. He wanted to make sure that her lonely journey through this earth was a little less lonely. He wanted to make sure that he was there for her, in any way he could be. Forever.

He held her closer, stroking her hair as the tears finally stopped, and her body stopped shaking.

He wanted this, he wanted her. That was why they were going to stand up in front of everyone later that day and pledge themselves to each other. Maddie pulled back, her eyes luminous. "I love you," she whispered, and he felt his heart double beat to hear her say the words. There was never a day where he didn't thrill to hear her voice say those words. "I love you, Howie."