maddiehans said:

Chim and Maddie get in a fight about their wedding

They didn't usually fight, but there was something about wedding planning that was just bringing out Maddie's anxieties full force. As she stared at the pile of magazines in front of her, it finally dawned on her why she'd been so cranky.

She didn't want a big wedding. She really didn't want a big wedding, but she knew it meant a lot to Howie that his friends got to be there...The Lees had a comparatively large extended family.

The problem was, opening up their wedding to more guests meant that there was an even bigger chance of Maddie's parents finding out that they hadn't been invited. She'd specifically told Buck to not tell them, and she knew they didn't talk all that much, so there wasn't much danger there anyway. But when Maddie did send out wedding announcements, she wanted to be able to truthfully say that they hadn't had a big wedding, hadn't wanted to make a big deal of things, and had just invited a few friends. That way her parents were way less likely to question anything.

But every time that she saw Howie, he talked about how excited he was to taste wedding cakes, to find a DJ, and how he was going to rent a tux…

She stood up, bracing her hands on her back, and walked to the kitchen. Waddled may have been more accurate, considering how heavily pregnant she was.

Howie was at the counter, drinking coffee, and on the phone with a vendor getting quotes. "Alright, I'll let you know if we go with you," he said. "Thank you again. Bye."

He hung up, turning to her with bright eyes. "I just got a great quote on a reception space," he said. "It's even better if we book for midweek, so that's something to think about. We don't need to get married on a Saturday."

"Yeah," she said, forcing enthusiasm. "Sounds great." Her voice fell flat, and she knew that Howie could tell.

"Okay, Maddie, what's up?" He asked, taking one of her hands in his. "You get all...stiff every time we talk about wedding plans, and then you pretend you're fine and drop the matter."

"No, I don't," she protested, but sighed. "Maybe I'm feeling...anxious about wedding plans."

"How so?" He asked, crinkling his brow. "You don't like the choices we've made so far, or you don't want to get married?"

She pressed a hand to her forehead. "Of course I want to get married," she said.

"Then why do you freak out every time we talk about it?" He asked, and though he was usually so gentle, she could hear a tone in his voice that wasn't usually there.

"That's not fair," she began. "I don't freak out every time we talk about getting married, I just freak out about the wedding."

"Semantics," Howie replied, throwing his hands up. "I have to say, Maddie, most of the time it just feels like you don't want this. And that's not a great feeling to have."

She rarely saw this side of him, and it wasn't fear that she was feeling right now. He didn't lose his temper like Doug did, and she wouldn't even call this losing his temper. But they were definitely fighting.

"I want to get married," she repeated. "I just don't want a fucking wedding with three thousand people."

"Do you think I know three thousand people?" He asked, and then paused. "Maddie. I'm sorry."

She just shook her head. "I'm sorry too, but it's true, Howie. I don't want a big wedding. I hate disappointing you like this, I know you've been looking forward to making these plans, but the thought of a big wedding makes my skin crawl."

"Maddie," he said, taking her hands in his again, looking at her straight in her eyes. "The wedding is not important, okay? I know I've been getting into this, but that's just because Covid is making me a little nuts and I was getting excited at having something to do."

"And that's okay," she said. "I feel horrible that I can't give you what you want and-"

"Maddie," he repeated. "Look at me. I would marry you at the courthouse tomorrow, okay? With two random people serving as witnesses. I would marry you next week in Vegas, I would marry you in five years in Fiji if that's what you want. I swear on everything, the wedding is not what's important to me. What's important is that I'll be married to you."

Her eyes had filled with tears, and she shook her head. "But you do want a big wedding," she said. "I can tell from how happy this has made you."

He shrugged. "I'm not going to lie, a party sounded nice," he said. "I was even getting around some of the Covid regulations by booking a bigger space, and inviting less people. But Maddie, I swear, I can wait for the next wedding. That's soon enough for me."

"The team will be mad," she said. "They got cheated out of Bobby's wedding, and Buck specifically told me we weren't allowed to do that."

"Allowed?" Howie drawled. "Who does your brother think he is?"

"You know what I mean," she said. "I don't want to disappoint people."

"Okay," Howie said. "I get that. So...how many people is too many?"

"I don't know," she said. "You started talking about all the extended Lee relatives and I think that's when my brain started operation Freaking Out, and then I don't want to invite my parents…"

He kissed her hand. "Okay. So let's do just the team and the Lees. That's what, twenty people ish with spouses? Does that sound doable? We book the back room at a restaurant, and we get married at the courthouse with just Buck and Hen. Then we head to the restaurant and party with everyone else."

"I guess," she said.

"That doesn't have to be the plan," he said. "We can keep thinking about it, but for right now, we don't have to make any decisions." He picked up the magazines on the counter, slid them into the recycling bin, and held out his hand again. "No pressure, okay? This day is about two people, you and me. We're the only ones who have to be happy."

"Yeah," she said, managing a smile. "I kind of liked that wedding in the backyard idea."

He smiled back. "Hey, we can talk about it if you want, or we can drop it," he said. "Let's make some popcorn either way."

"I'd like that," she whispered, watching as he grabbed the bag of kernels.

She walked up behind him, sliding her arms around him as best she could with her pregnant belly getting in the way. He embraced her in return, kissing the top of her head, and she breathed in his scent. He always smelled the same, she loved that about him.