The End of the Tunnel

Chapter 8

- The Untrue Truth-

"A belief is not an idea the mind possesses. It is an idea that possesses the mind."

Lancer sighed as he continued to watch his pupil roam pathetically around the room, his body no doubt heated. His mind was off, his body temperature was off, his senses were off... What was next? In all seriousness, there weren't that many things left that the boy could do to himself. As far as Lancer knew, he wasn't cu-... Wait... No, Daniel wouldn't resort to self-harm... It was just so unlike him. But he had been acting so strangely since his mother died... And cutting oneself was considered a way to cope with the depression. But it was unhealthy and Daniel shouldn't be doing that to himself.

The teacher quickly rushed over to Daniel's side and grabbed both the boy's arms. There were no scars that indicated self-inflicted wounds. So he didn't injure himself... That was good...

Lancer sighed in relief too soon as the boy jumped up onto him.

"So squishy...!" he squeaked in delight.

Lancer had to admit that he was out of shape and his physique wasn't that of a model's, but he chose to believe it was merely the drug and not Daniel's own personal thoughts. Actually, that made perfect sense since he didn't have any thoughts right now, let alone personal ones.

Wait, was this why Jazz proclaimed that he shouldn't be touched while he was "high"? Jumping on him could turn into a kind of passion Lancer definitely didn't want, especially since a nickname for MDMA was "love drug". Something told him there was a good reason it was called that so despite some of the posed dangers of the classroom, he fled, shoving the boy off in the process, and locked the door from the outside with a key. It might've been a wiser idea to simply keep moving away from the boy instead of leaving him all alone, but a) Lancer had never had this problem before and therefore didn't know how to handle it, and b) when Daniel did finally come to his senses he would be extremely embarrassed if he remembered and Lancer wanted to spare the boy that kind of humiliation. Besides, didn't he say his sister put him in his room and gave him a pillow (probably for that "passion" exactly)? It had to be okay to leave him by himself if his own sister said it was okay.

Then again, even though he'd spoken with logic that could've been the drug talking. He didn't sound like he was on drugs at all but now that Lancer knew the boy's dark secret, he would have to learn what signals Daniel gave out when he was still on the drug. It was very clear for now that he was, but what about when there were only remnants left? The boy was the first, and hopefully only, student to have such a dire problem and Lancer hadn't been prepared despite having looked into the effects. He had to assume it varied for each person and was thankful that Daniel seemed the polar opposite of violent or angry. Perhaps he was a little annoyed, but that was a blessing compared to what he could be.

He knew he would have to wait some time for those heinous tablets to wear off, but he didn't know it would take hours. It was only after these hours that he finally came back in, unlocking the door to find his student curled up in a corner on the far side of the room. It looked like he was asleep, which had to mean the drug had worn off now. All the websites claimed it had an energizing effect so if it was still potent he wouldn't be asleep like this. What was disturbing was the way he was sleeping. Most people didn't sleep in a ball like he was, which gave Lancer the impression that he had gone to sleep in a haze, not paying much attention to what he was doing. However, it could also be that the boy wanted to hide himself as much as possible, ashamed of what he'd done. It made no sense to the teacher but he didn't have the same problems and kept that fact in mind as he approached his unconscious student.

As suspected, the boy was sleeping. From a distance he looked peaceful enough, but when a closer view was taken he had noticeable tear trails that ran down his face. So he was ashamed. He didn't want to be seen like this and probably went to sleep hoping he would wake up before Lancer came back in. He failed.

Part of Lancer desperately wanted to leave this poor boy alone until he decided to come out on his own. A stronger part of him wanted Daniel to know that he was here for him no matter what he did and no matter if he was doing drugs or not. It was obvious that the stronger part won the quick struggle inside him and he chose to stay with his student, but at his desk where he wouldn't look directly at him. This way, when he woke up, he would be less likely to feel as vulnerable as he really was. To pretend Daniel wasn't even in the room would provide the best chance of boosting his dwindling confidence and his student needed all the positives he could get.

And Lancer couldn't have timed his appearance more perfectly. The boy woke up just a few minutes later. Sadly, he didn't yawn, stretch, or give any indication that he woke up calmly. He was still upset and he probably remembered some of whatever it was he did...and what Lancer might've seen.

It was Lancer who spoke first, to spare his pupil any awkwardness or potential wrong words.

"I can't say it's all right because it's not. I can say that I didn't see most of what you did. Whatever it was, I know it wasn't the real you. I won't judge you when you're like that and as promised, I haven't and won't tell a soul about this. You don't have to worry about me asking you to do this ever again, so don't feel uncomfortable around me and if you ever need to talk, I'll always be willing to listen."

He could see out of the corner of his eye that the boy was trying to scrub off the dried trails with his hands.

"I know, but I never use it at school so you don't have to worry about it," he croaked.

The teacher took a deep breath and replied, "You're acting like it's not a problem.

"Because it's not. I don't use it enough for it to be a problem."

"Daniel, I know you have this belief that a supposedly non-addictive drug is okay to use, but in reality it's not and it's still dangerous. I looked into it and there are withdrawal symptoms as well as an addiction rate. It's best if you stop before you go too far and end up hurting yourself."

"No..." he whispered. "It's okay, Mr. Lancer, I promise. I can tolerate it."

"That's not what I saw. The way you acted was very clearly that you were on drugs and now like I said, I won't judge you since you weren't acting on your own accord, but if someone were to see that with their own eyes, they would know immediately what's been going on and unlike with me, you have no guarantee that your secret won't spread. I know that's the last thing you want."

"I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I won't go too far. I promise."

A/N

I...um...have no excuses... :'( Life got in the way but I won't lie: I still had time to work on this.