Author's Note: Hope you guys are enjoying this story so far. As you might have already guessed, the better part of this story will be from Mr. Collins POV, save in those instances where the other characters will not allow it. And yes, the chapters are fairly short. I'm afraid the pacing of the story doesn't allow for longer chapters, so all of the updates will pretty much be this size.
Nonetheless, please enjoy and as always, please comment.
Mr. Collins' Easter
By Winterspell1812
Chapter 1
It was, in fact, a truth universally acknowledged that Mr. Collins had required very little persuasion to permit Elizabeth Bennet's visit. Of course, when his beloved had first proposed such a scheme, Mr. Collins had been rightfully appalled at the very notion. That his new wife had sought to not only continue her close association with his conceited cousin, but had wished to invite her to their own humble abode had proved beyond even Mr. Collins' great spirit of generosity. In all of his life, no person had ever humiliated him as his cousin, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, had. That she, a dowerless country miss, whose mother had been born the daughter of a lowly country solicitor, could presume to reject his hand! He, the parson of the venerable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and heir to the estate of Longbourn! It was not to be borne, to be so infamously treated by one so low as Miss. Elizabeth Bennet.
As such, upon being apprised of the scheme, every feeling which Mr. Collins possessed had understandably revolted at the very notion.
Indeed, if his bride had failed in taking proper measure of his character, the parson's implacable resentment would not have allowed for such a visit. Yet, as it always had been since her infancy, Charlotte Collins had proven once more to be a shrewd and practical woman. And thus, she had quickly divined that appealing to her husband's pride would soon see the foolish man bend to her demands.
Charlotte's pride, likewise, had to be considered in this matter. For although she had been made distinctly (and most humiliatingly) aware that many of her acquaintances had laughed at her choice of husband, Mrs. Collins had willfully ignored such slights, having known all too well that the grubby and rotund parson was to be her one and only chance at making a respectable match (or rather, any match). As such, Charlotte had done what she had deemed best and (swallowing down her mortification) suffered the indignity of wedding the un-appealing Mr. Collins. For, although Charlotte had well and truly sacrificed her dignity in wedding the regrettable Mr. Collins, that gentlewoman had well known that, in doing so, she had secured her own future. This had been quite a feat in Charlotte's humble opinion, for the bride had been very much convinced that (given the relative smallness of Meryton society, the lack of acceptable suitors and the overabundance of unattached young maidens), very few of the young ladies of her acquaintance would be able to accomplish as much. And so, as she had exchanged her vows with the pungent toad (and heard Kitty and Lydia Bennet snickering from their seat at the Bennet pew), Charlotte Collins had resolved to see them, as well as every other foolish country miss of her acquaintance regret their mockery.
Thus, Charlotte had determined to begin with her long-time friend (and former rival for Mr. Collins hand), Miss. Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn.
And so it had been that, with some gentle prodding (and a few less than subtle appeals) Mr. Collins had been led to understand that, by virtue of such a visit, it could be delicately impressed upon Elizabeth the full weight of all that she had lost when she had refused the offer of his hand. Naturally, the foolish parson had remained wholly ignorant of his wife's manipulations, engrossed as he had been in the notion that such a humbling experience could only be to his cousin's benefit. In this, Mrs. Collins had been satisfied, for it had suited her purposes well.
Thus, when the appointed time finally came, the long awaited visitor was eagerly welcomed into the parsonage by both Mr. and Mrs. Collins.
Indeed, as Mr. Collins led his beautiful cousin throughout the parsonage on that fateful day, the man had delighted in each and every one of her expressions. The polite (yet reticent) fashion in which Miss. Elizabeth had greeted him and his wife (which Mr. Collins had attributed to the first embers of envy, rather than disappointment in her dear friend's choice to marry the foolish parson). Her strained smile as that unworthy young maiden admired the very shelves which Lady Catherine herself had advised them to place within the closet. The manner in which Cousin Elizabeth had frequently glanced at his wife, her countenance filled with dissatisfaction and barely concealed dismay (which, again, Mr. Collins had attributed to envy, jealousy and regret). Each and every expression had pleased Mr. Collins to no end.
The knowledge that Miss Elizabeth Bennet, the proud little country miss who had once believed herself above him, had in that moment (or so the fool believed) repined his loss, gratified Mr. Collins to no end (as well as filled him with an unjustified sense of superiority).
So satisfied with his own sense of self-consequence, the parson remained wholly unaware of the embarrassment his actions had inflicted upon his poor wife. For despite every evidence to the contrary (her marriage to Mr. Collins being one such prime example) Charlotte Collins did still retain a healthy measure of self-respect. This, more than anything else, had been the very reason she had chosen to invite Lizzie to the parsonage. Charlotte had wanted her friend to be fully aware of all that she had spurned, and all that Mrs. Collins herself now enjoyed in her stead. Years of being undervalued and relegated to the shelf had left their mark, and above all, save her own security, Charlotte yearned to prove herself superior to all the other women of her acquaintance – the Bennet ladies included.
In marrying Mr. Collins, Charlotte had fulfilled these desires. Not only would she be mistress of her own home, but she would no longer have to fear that she would one day be forced to live off of the grudging charity of her younger brother and his family. But best of all, she, she herself, the unfortunate Miss. Lucas, would one day become mistress of Longbourn, the oldest estate near Meryton, second only in wealth and grandeur to Netherfield Park! It mattered not to Charlotte that Lizzie had found her foolish to accept a man such as Mr. Collins. It did not even matter that, despite Mr. Collins' best, and most mortifying efforts, Lizzie had felt not even a glimmer of envy towards Charlotte's fortunate situation. What mattered to Charlotte was that, after years of being ridiculed and belittled by the silly Mrs. Bennet (and many another country mama) she was now in a position to find satisfaction (and retribution). For, when Charlotte Collins inevitibaly usurped that vile woman's position as mistress of Longbourn, she would see to it that Mrs. Bennet (and her like) received their just deserts for their disrespect.
As for Lizzie, well, Charlotte well knew that her friend would one day come to understand all that she had recklessly thrown away. If not when it became apparent that none of her sisters (including dear, angelic Jane) would marry despite their uncommon beauty, then when Lizzie came to realise that she had carelessly rejected the only honorable offer she would ever receive. And, if Elizabeth still remained stubbornly insensible, then Charlotte had little doubt that seeing her mother and sisters thrown out of Longbourn, and forced to make their own way in life would see her friend regret her actions. Particularly as, given the Bennet sisters' dearth of accomplishments, they would likely be left with no other recourse but to sell themselves, and whatever beauty they still held, to the highest bidder to earn their daily bread.
Then, Elizabeth Bennet would come to understand all that she had foolishly scorned and learn to be envious of the life she could have had.
Then Charlotte would have her satisfaction.
At present, however, Mrs. Collins could only smile placidly as her husband made a fool of himself at every turn and Elizabeth did the best she could to smother her laughter at Mr. Collins' foibles.