Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this one guys. Something unexpected came up, and my writing had to be put on hold. To show that I haven't forgotten about this story, or its readers, I decided to look through the last chapter's reviews and, if possible, answer one. So, here you are...
Dear migotka21,
You're right, she's not a nice person. And yes, she doesn't seem very smart. But you have to remember that this is a woman who, after being told all of her life that she would end up an old spinster and living off of the charity of her family, unexpectedly winds up not only married, but married to the heir of a respectable estate. Such a reversal of fortune can make even the most levelheaded of persons overconfident (e.i. stupid). And yes, Charlotte is not a nice person in my fic. However, I felt that this was the way it had to be for this story. And really, reading through P&P, can you really tell me that Charlotte is always a nice person and a good friend, when her most pressing concern, no matter the circumstances, is always her own advantage.
"In her kind schemes for Elizabeth, she sometimes planned her marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was beyond comparison the most pleasant man; he certainly admired her, and his situation in life was most eligible; but, to counterbalance these advantages, Mr. Darcy had considerable patronage in the church, and his cousin could have none at all." (Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice . Kindle Edition.)
But yes, I will admit I took quite a few liberties with Charlotte. I am sorry you do not like her, and I hope the ending of my story will satisfy you, if not surprise you.
P.S: I couldn't help but laugh when you mentioned the numerous "cute fanfictions" in which a potato murders Mr. Collins. As you can probably tell by the prologue, these fanfics were on my mind when I wrote this story. Thank you for reviewing my story.
I would also like to thank SereniteRose, Jolanda Dan Ouden, lisyl, tanseynz, gabyhyatt, YikesYahooYum, Lauramari, ArnettinCA, Magna Parva, fanofNC, Emeira, ebrillblaiddes, Maria Theresa C, barnabus67 and assorted guests.
I hope I got all of your names right. If not, I appologise and hope that you will enjoy this update nonetheless. As always, reviews are most welcome.
Mr. Collins' Easter
By Winterspell1812
Chapter 2
Unfortunately, in the days that followed the disastrous dinner, it soon became quite apparent that Mr. Collins' worries had not been without justification. For although Lady Catherine had not appeared overly displeased whenever he visited Rosings on religious matters, Mr. Collins had noted a discernible coldness in that great lady's manner towards his person. Use as he was to his patroness' favor, this was a most distressing development for Mr. Collins – even more so as no invitations from Rosings came forth in the sennight that followed, and thus the parson was offered little to no opportunity to ingratiate himself in Lady Catherine's eyes.
And so it was that, under such distressing circumstances, Mr. Collins came to learn that Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy had taken up the custom of visiting the parsonage every morning, whilst he was out of doors on important clerical matters. Such attentions from such elevated gentlemen would ordinarily have been a welcomed blessing, as such condescension could only be a boon to his position as Lady Catherine's most trusted servant. However, with Cousin Elizabeth in residence, Mr. Collins rightfully worried that the gentlemen might be offended if his guest continued to put herself forward in their notice. Thus, faced with such a predicament, Mr. Collins wisely chose to remain at the parsonage in the days leading up to Easter, so as to better keep an eye on Cousin Elizabeth, lest she should act indecorously before his esteemed patroness' nephews.
Elizabeth Bennet longed for the gentle hills and roaming planes of her home. Though Rosings Park boasted many stunning landscapes and fine walking paths, the estate's manicured shrubs and hedges offered her very little relief in her present state of consternation. What was more, as she was currently a guest of the most ridiculous man of her acquaintance, Elizabeth felt unable to vent her frustrations in the manner in which she was so accustomed to at Longbourn. Although none of her father's tenants would have begrudged her a good sprint downhill, Elizabeth shuddered to contemplate what the great Lady Catherine de Bourgh would think of her unladylike jaunt. Nor did she believe that her dreadful cousin would think any more kindly of it, and Elizabeth's disposition would not allow her to withstand any further insult from that quarter. If it had been in her power to do so, she would have already left Hunsford and rejoined her relatives in London. As it was, however, Elizabeth could only fume as she recalled the scene that had followed Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy's latest visit, and Mr. Collins' most insulting words.
"I would remind you, Miss. Elizabeth," Mr. Collins had hissed, "that as the son of an Earl, and the nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Colonel Fitzwilliam is far above you in rank and consequence. As such, you must not, nay, you cannot permit yourself to believe that you could possibly attract that great gentleman's attentions as a marriage prospect."
At this juncture, her cousin had paused, and looked upon her with an air of sanctimonious superiority, "Although your pert flirtations might attract the Colonel's notice, I assure you dear cousin that your ambitions shall not be met in that quarter. Certainly, no nephew of Lady Catherine's would ever so forget himself, nor what he owes to his noble lineage, as to offer for a penniless chit with nought but her charms to recommend her," the parson had then cast a lecherous eye upon her décolletage, leaving Elizabeth with no doubt as to which charms the contemptible man had been speaking of.
Ignoring her shocked gasp, Mr. Collins had continued his abuse of Elizabeth's person, closing with one, final volley, "Indeed cousin, if the man were to make you an offer of any sort, it would not be an offer of marriage."
In the face of such a scurrilous insult, she had been barely able to retain her equanimity. Although Elizabeth had long suspected that Mr. Collins was quite possibly the biggest fool to ever grace England, she had believed the man to be relatively harmless. On that score, Elizabeth now knew that she had grievously misjudged him. A fool the man may very well be, but a harmless fool Mr. Collins was not. Once, she had believed that her cousin was largely ignorant of social proprieties. Elizabeth could not, however, persuade herself to believe that Mr. Collins was so insensible to common decency and manners as to be unaware of the improprieties of his actions and speech that fateful morning. Thus, Elizabeth began to suspect that, what she had once perceived as ignorance was, in point of fact, a wanton dismissal of social etiquette born of the belief that he deemed himself above such proprieties. This was a most upsetting development, for Elizabeth realised that, if this proved to be true, the man might very well be capable of even greater offence, so long as he believed that his sense of superiority allowed him such.
That Charlotte had done nothing to curb her husband's speech had only served to perturb Elizabeth all the more. How her long-time friend and confidant could have stood idly by while Mr. Collins so grievously insulted her had shocked and horrified Elizabeth in equal measure. It mattered very little to her that her friend had, in the aftermath of the horrible scene, taken her aside and apologised for her husband's scurrilous behavior. Elizabeth could only remember the manner in which Charlotte had ignored her plight, and purposely averted her gaze when she had cast a beseeching eye upon her friend. In the hours since the horrid scene, Elizabeth had repeatedly reminded herself that Charlotte was forced to live the rest of her life with the vile man. As such, her friend could hardly afford to incite Mr. Collins' ire for the sake of a guest. Still, despite these numerous reminders, Elizabeth could not bring herself to forgive Mrs. Collins' inaction.
Thus it was that Elizabeth found herself in an untenable position. She could not countenance remaining at the parsonage for another night, much less another month complete. Not when, despite having assured Mr. Collins in no uncertain terms that she had never had the slightest notion of attracting Colonel Fitzwilliam's attentions, the imbecile had persisted in his reproach. And most certainly not when it was clear that Charlotte could not be counted on to support her, and curb her husband's hostilities.
Therefore, Elizabeth preferred to depart Hunsford as soon as it could be arranged, rather than to remain and risk seeking further injury. Regrettably, such a scheme was hardly the work of a moment for a young woman of gentle breeding, as Elizabeth could not just simply pack her bags and embark on the next coach to London unescorted. To do so, no matter the deplorable circumstances, would only serve to damage her reputation and insult Mrs. Collins. Though Elizabeth (upset as she was) cared very little for Charlotte's sentiments at present, she refused to lower herself by behaving in a manner beneath her character and station in life. Though both the Collins (each in their own way) had acted deplorably towards her, Elizabeth refused to betray her reputation and name simply to pay them back in kind.
Thus, Elizabeth determined that the most appropriate course of action would be to send word to her Uncle Gardiner that very day.
However, as it was Good Friday, Elizabeth was relatively certain that, if her uncle even received her missive on the morrow, the dear man would be hard pressed to see her removed from Hunsford before Easter Monday.
Okay, so for the first time you guys get a glimpse into Elizabeth's POV. This wasn't planned, but she simply had to have a word in. It's likely that Darcy will also make his sentiments known in the next chapter. But don't get too used to this, the Collins are still very much the stars of this little ficlet.