Author's Note: Hello everyone, I hope this update finds you all well. I know that at least one of you is eager for Darcy's perspective (here's to you Maria Theresa C), so here it is. I hope you like it as this will likely be the only Darcy PoV in this story. Believe it or not, we are already half-way through this short little ficlet. As such, expect the drama to progress quickly from here on out.

To Migotka21, of course I was not furious with your review. As a writer I understand that I will never be able to write a story in which every aspect will please every reader. Some readers, like you, might not like the manner in which I portray a certain character, while others will positively delight in it. Some might enjoy the premise of my story, but ultimately feel that I failed to do it justice. Others might be annoyed by my choice of plot device - and so on, and so forth. All of this is neither my fault, nor your fault. We all have different tastes, and we all have different opinions. If we didn't, literature (and of course fanfiction) would be the poorer for it. As such, I'm glad that you are taking the time to read my story and comment on it, despite the fact that you do not like my version of Charlotte. I hope you enjoy the rest of my story, and that the ending can offer you a few surprises.

P.S.: I laughed at your bit with the lock. I can assure you that Lizzie certainly does take some precautions, although I don't really cover them. My goal for this story is to try to stick with the Collins PoV as much as possible, though sometimes Elizabeth and Darcy absolutely have to have a word in edgewise.

To Maria Theresa C, I hope you will deem the following to be interesting... I just couldn't help myself.

As always, a special thank you to all of you that have taken the time to review this story.

And so, thank you to Jansfamily4, SereniteRose, Jolanda Dan Ouden, lisyl, tanseynz, gabyhyatt, YikesYahooYum, Lauramari, ArnettinCA, Magna Parva, fanofNC, Emeira, ebrillblaiddes, Maria Theresa C, barnabus67 and assorted guests.

Mr. Collins' Easter

By Winterspell1812

Chapter 3

Stumbling over his own two feet, Mr. Collins cursed as he caught himself against the old hutch, the sharp corner digging into his right hip. Not to be deterred, however, the parson straightened himself and proceeded to hastily make his way out of the study, gingerly massaging his injured side as he did so.

The man could hardly afford to spare a moment. Not when the illustrious nephews of his most beloved and beneficent patroness had come to call upon his humble self – and most certainly not when his grasping cousin was all too eager to make herself ridiculous. Thus, panting heavily, Mr. Collins swiftly reached the entryway to the parsonage's small, but uniquely charming sitting room. Perspiring heavily, he hardly paused a moment to wipe his sweaty brow before proceeding into the room.

"My dear sirs," Mr. Collins exclaimed, smiling beatifically at his illustrious guests. "Welcome! Welcome, to my humble abode dear Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam!"

Mr. Darcy, seated upon the settee beside Miss. Elizabeth, startled at this loud and sudden interruption. His astonishment at Mr. Collins' abrupt arrival, however, soon gave way to a curious mixture of annoyance and revulsion.

"I hope you have been made to feel welcome," the parson prattled on, "and that you have found our meagre refreshments acceptable. I well know that, from Lady Catherine's great condescension and kindness, our offerings are a good deal more rustic than the elevated fare which Lady Catherine daily offers at Rosings. Please, if the refreshments are not to your tastes; do not force yourselves to consume them in deference to your superior breeding and manners."

At this, Colonel Fitzwilliam, who had been quite enjoying Mrs. Potts' petit fours, choked on the delectable little almond treat.

"Colonel Fitzwilliam!" the parson cried, fearing that his cook's unrefined pastries proved to be too coarse for the man.

Thankfully for the hapless Colonel, tea was at hand. Thus, with a few greedy gulps, the danger soon passed. The mortification of all, save the ignorant Mr. Collins, however, did not. Indeed, Charlotte Collins, seated beside the Colonel, flushed red from the tips of her ears to the edge of her collar at the affront. Perfunctorily, Mrs. Collins smiled at her guests and prepared another cup of tea for the Colonel, patently ignoring the fact that her husband had called her cook's capabilities into question (and thereby, called her own into question). Likewise, the gentlemen did their outmost to ignore the slight, not wishing to distress Mrs. Collins any further.

For his own part, Mr. Darcy, enamored as he was of Miss. Elizabeth, could hardly countenance the embarrassment she must feel at owning such a relation. And so it was that, in a bid to offer the woman he loved some measure of relief, Darcy attempted to silence the fool.

"I assure you Mr. Collins," Darcy smiled tautly, "the refreshments are quite appetizing."

"But," the parson began, hoping to further ingratiate himself in Mr. Darcy's esteem by demeaning himself - and, by extension, his family.

Darcy, despite having only been in Mr. Collins presence for several moments, had already reached the end of his patience for the fool. As such, he would brook no further opposition. Nor would he allow the man to cause Miss. Elizabeth any further humiliation. "In truth, I would be very much obliged to Mrs. Collins if she could solicit her cook into sharing her receipt."

"Of course, Mr. Darcy," Charlotte smiled gratefully at the man. "I am certain Mrs. Potts would be quite happy to do so."

"I…" Mr. Collins spluttered, truly at a loss for words. Limited as he was, the parson was unable to comprehend that a man of Mr. Darcy's stature, who daily enjoyed better, more elegant fare, could find anything of worth in Mrs. Potts cooking.

"My thanks, Mrs. Collins," the gentleman purposely retrieved a petit four from the serving plate, and offered Mr. Collins a pointed look.

Believing the parson to be appropriately chastened, Mr. Darcy turned his attentions towards the charming Miss. Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn. Thus, taking up the thread of the conversation from which it had been left off after Mr. Collins' untimely, and in most respects, unwelcomed interruption, Darcy asked, "And you Miss. Bennet? How are you enjoying your time at Hunsford? I hope you find the parsonage to be to your taste. I know the previous incumbent had not cared for the parsonage as he ought have, necessitating that my aunt see to some long overdue repairs the winter before last."

This inquiry, however, proved to be a misstep. For, desperate as Mr. Collins was for the good opinion of Lady Catherine's nephews, and eager for any opportunity to ingratiate himself in their eyes, the parson saw little wrong or impropriety in inserting himself where he was not wanted. Thus, before Elizabeth could answer, Mr. Collins leapt at the opportunity that was offered.

"Certainly, Mr. Darcy," the parson exclaimed, his eyes gleaming zealously.

Shocked at Mr. Collins' latest show of incivility, Mr. Darcy could only watch on, astonished as the parson prattled on about Lady Catherine and made his way towards the settee.

"Mr. Collins," Darcy attempted to interrupt, scowling at the man.

The parson, however, remained utterly oblivious to his quarry' displeasure, enraptured as he was in enumerating the many ways in which his illustrious patroness had improved his humble abode. And thus, before any objection could be made, Mr. Collins forced himself between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, intent upon occupying the seat nearest to Mr. Darcy. His focus was such that Mr. Collins remained heedless of the fact that the space in question was insufficient for his prodigious girth. Thus it was that, with one final determined wiggle of his buttocks, Mr. Collins succeeded in obtaining a position of greater advantage – and of displacing Elizabeth from the settee, sending her sprawling to the floor.

I really couldn't help myself... I hope, nonetheless, that you've enjoyed this chapter.