Mr. Black Does Konoha

Harry Potter 'Make a Wish' / Naruto

I found this on my HDD, something I tinkered together last year but never really finished. Picking up in a post-Make a Wish setting, this takes a similar premise to some of its other unauthorized sequels in that Mr. Black sets off to explore the multiverse with all the usual Man Who Knew Too Little antics and a questionable amount of reality behind the rumors. I still intend to make a proper HP/Naruto fic at some point, maybe when I finally finish something, but this is a bit of a diversion.

The forest was utterly quiet, and nearly motionless, and an owl gazed down upon the gloom and blinked its bright eyes slowly. Despite the silence, however, the place was not deserted. Its inhabitants simply refused to be seen, blending into the shadows.

"I reckon there's four of them," one man whispered so softly that the sound barely carried at all. He turned slightly, cloth muffling his movement as he smiled behind his mask. "Two in the trees, two on the ground, I reckon..."

A second figure lowered himself slightly, one hand slipping to the ground and touching the bare earth. "...I'll take out the ones above, of course. It shouldn't be a problem, Kakashi-sempai. They are in my… element."

Kakashi nodded. "Can you sense the captives?"

The second man shook his head slowly, his mask gleaming in the thin rays of light that marked the end of the day. "There's a trace of their chakra, but they're either unconscious or dead - unfortunately." He retracted his hand, gesturing onwards. "We will have to count on the former, anyway. Let's go."

His colleague nodded, and within a second, they were gone.

"Wait, wait… Now, hold on - they said west. This is west. So why is it getting colder?"

Harry Potter, known as Mr. Black to those who didn't know him very well, paced through the underbrush with an annoyed expression, one hand ruffling through his rather large mane of hair while he held a crude and crumpled map with the other.

Travelling between dimensions was a confusing and often somewhat baffling process - but this one was just special. Most universes were fairly logical, and he would end up just walking around as himself, give or take a blond mullet or cybernetic hands. Others seemed to work on their own screwed-up version of cause and effect - and this was clearly one of those worlds. Who on earth could possibly pull off this much hair, after all? His whole head was dragged down by it! Even Hagrid would be jealous!

It had been just two days earlier that he'd woken up in a ditch with more hair than an entire 80's rock band. Worse than that, though, was the fact that he'd been merrily chewing on the hilt of a very sharp, very wicked knife. He didn't want to think about the preposterously oversized clothes he'd been wearing, either, as they had sloughed right off the moment he stood up, leaving him cold and exposed to the wind. It'd taken Harry hours to get himself even close to presentable with judicious use of charms and transfiguration, and he still wasn't remotely happy with his shabby appearance.

The chewy knife, it turned out, was actually his wand - or at least, it's representation in this particular reality, twisted into its closest equivalent. The Elder Wand had been reduced to a crude stabbing implement, which probably said a lot more about this world than Harry was comfortable with. It was a small blessing that he hadn't tried eating it the other way around, though. That could have been bad.

Still, these things wouldn't have been an issue - if all the technology he'd taken along hadn't vanished as well, evidently too advanced to have a place in this particular universe. Henchgirl would figure a way around those problems soon enough, but that didn't really help matters in the present. Until she got around to figuring out this universe, which might take weeks, he'd be entirely on his own. A vacation in murder-stabby land, he supposed.

The very first locals Harry had run into had fainted on the spot, and so had the next few after that. People were very wary of big hair, it seemed - it'd taken a pale and trembling farmer nearly half an hour to point him towards the nearest village - due west - and much of his time was spent begging to be spared. People were really antsy about strangers, especially unkempt ones, and that was one reason he'd spent so much time making himself look presentable. It was a small blessing that he could still understand pretty much any language, but it wasn't much to go on.

"This is completely preposterous," Harry muttered as he realized that his directions were utterly useless, and he stopped in the middle of the dirt road, shaking his head. The old man had to have hoodwinked him, and sent him away with a nonsensical map. As Harry fumbled with the paper, the forest around him grew silent. "So rude! I suppose I'll have to get used to people without courtesy around here…"

Somewhere above him, two shapes exchanged quick gestures, then vanished.

"I suppose people can't be blamed for being wary of strangers," Harry murmured as he walked on, wishing that he had someone to talk to. Usually, the Professor and Henchgirl would be sharing her rather remarkable ideas, and that kept him entertained. He sighed to himself as he considered the odds of finding an inhabited place anywhere nearby, even if he followed the rather unsightly road. He had only the trees for company, here. "You would make for a decent conversation partner, I'm sure," he said as he tapped the willow he passed, smiling fondly. "Maybe some other time, eh?"

Harry wandered on, reminiscing about the walking, talking trees that he'd met in another world that had taken his gadgets from him, and hummed under his breath. These trees weren't nearly as animate - but at least they weren't like the Whomping Willow.

Kakashi glanced around his tree with narrowed eye, following the stranger as he walked on without a care in the world. The man was using no chakra that he could sense, and his footsteps were heavy and loud - but that didn't mean much. It just meant that he wasn't particularly afraid of running into danger he couldn't handle.

"Well, that was interesting..."

"Indeed. He knew I was there," his colleague whispered, swallowing thickly as he removed himself from the same tree that Kakashi was hiding behind, his flesh taking familiar shape again and losing their wooden texture. Tenzō of the Mokuton shook his head as he stepped into the shade. "Nobody's ever spotted me inside a tree before. Honestly, I thought it was impossible."

"Hm. Maybe," Kakashi hummed softly. "He must be some kind of sensor. Not all the styles are accounted for in Konoha - there might be ones that trump even you, out in the other nations." He gestured vaguely to the far end of the clearing. "He's scared off the enemy's scouts, too. He probably sensed them, and decided to warn them off."

"You think he made a threat?"

Kakashi shrugged lightly. "Who knows? He's strange enough that anyone would be wary. He has lots of hair, and a knife - not much else. Could be a Ronin; the Samurai of Iron Country channel their techniques through their weapons. There's not many wanderers around these days, though - and certainly none that would walk so freely through the borderlands."

"Perhaps he's a defector? He's heading towards Fire Country," Tenzō noted. "He'll cross into uncontested regions within an hour, and there's no telling what he's after on our side of the continent. If he's a shinobi..."

"I know. He could be a Missing-Nin," Kakashi agreed. "Let's get our quarry first, though, and see if we can track this guy down again afterwards. Potential threat or not, he's not why we're here. He's - a curiosity."

"Eighty-nine bottles of butterbeer on the wall, eighty-nine bottles of butterbeer..." Harry sing-songed as he distractedly cut his locks a little further. At least he had a handy knife with him- it seemed that as per usual, his hair was refusing to actually respond to some good old spell-work, and he was left with the mundane alternative. He still remembered quite clearly when Aunt Petunia's attempts at reigning it in had been wildly unsuccessful, and he had a feeling it was even worse this time around.

One problem that he hadn't counted on, Harry thought distractedly, was gathering food. His stomach had been rumbling in protest for the last day or so, and even though he was used to going without snacks for a while, the feeling wasn't particularly comfortable. He hadn't seen much in the way of wildlife that he could catch either, and if there were any fish in the streams he'd certainly not seen them - so it looked like he'd have to wait until he found civilization. Which, judging from the wilderness, might take a while.

Finally, nearly half an hour after he'd left the road behind, Harry stumbled across the remnants of a camp - there was the soot of an old campfire, a few yellowed patches of grass where tents had once stood, and a tiny stream that trickled down from the hills - fresh water.

"I wonder how long this has been abandoned?" Harry scratched his chin, then shrugged. "Might as well make use of it, I suppose..." With scarcely a gesture of his blade a rather gaudy tent popped into existence besides the doused fire - as big inside as it was supposed to be, but that was more than enough for his purposes. A few quick waves later he'd gathered a little firewood from the immediate surroundings and positioned it beneath a little pot. After a few unsuccessful attempts to get the wet wood to burn, a rather powerful Incendio made the logs finally burst into merry flame.

"At times like these, I wish I had some company..." Harry sat by his fire and warmed his hands as he considered what he was going to do next. Leaving behind his life as Harry Potter hadn't been a particularly hard decision, but now he was voluntarily leaving behind his own planet - on a dare, more or less. He was pretty sure Hermione would be annoyed about that, if she ever got a chance to confront him while he was back home. She'd hardly be the only one, either.

He could almost hear it now, the gentle chiding of Luna's voice as she pointed out that he'd once again forgotten to get her any souvenirs from his adventures. "I can hear you, you know…" he murmured morosely, rubbing his tired eyes, and he flopped down onto his conjured mattress, wand-knife still in his hand as he tried to ignore his rumbling stomach.

The Kumo Chūnin held his breath as he edged back from the clearing slowly, making certain not to make a noise. He was certain he'd been perfectly silent, but just as he'd prepared to strike… "He's definitely a Jounin," he whispered to his colleague. "I used my best stealth techniques as I approached - and he still heard me anyway. It'd be really stupid to go after this guy alone, especially when he doesn't actually want to fight us. He didn't see much, so we can probably just let him leave."

"That's up to the team leader," the other murmured morosely. "Missing-Nin tend to be fairly high in rank so that matches your suspicion. At least we can be pretty certain he's not in league with those Konoha dogs, though."

"Right. He's definitely not from Kumo - I'd recognize his face if he were. Maybe Iwa? There's talk about some high-rank deserter from Mist, too…"

The other frowned. "He just has a pathetic little knife, though. Not gonna be killing much with something like that, I'm thinking…"

"True. Now, let's get out of here, before -" the first man said, but it was already too late. A gleaming white mask appeared between the two Kumo nin, and before either could cry out in surprise, a kunai slashed across the first Nin's throat and a spurt of blood arced high into the air as his entire head came off. The world seemed to freeze for an instant as sparks of electricity danced across the murder-weapon, its silver-haired user focusing on his second prey.

"Oh, shit -" the Chūnin blurted as he stumbled away, his hands flipping through hand signs almost without thought; he summoned a blast of wind and impossibly bright chakra that burst through the trees at his attacked as he made his way through the tangled underbrush as fast as he could manage.

In the confusing moments after the sudden attack, he managed haphazardly to leave the treeline behind - and promptly tripped over a tent-line that he hadn't even realized was there. He pitched over backwards with a cry - and fell onto the exposed blade of a tiny knife.

Harry snapped awake from his momentary slumber with a squawk of surprise, pushing at the heavy weight that suddenly descended on him with all the force he had - which was considerably more than most people had, due to his rather curious history with werewolves and vampires. The person - because that's what it was, Harry realized sickeningly - grasped at his chest in sheer surprise as he tumbled backwards into the fire, catching aflame in an instant as the magical fire grasped eagerly at leather and flesh, eating through him far faster than any regular flame might have, cutting off even a yell.

"What the hell?" Harry asked in shock as he jumped up, staring at the body that had stopped twitching now, merrily burning away in the fire. He realized distantly he had his knife out, still dripping blood from where the unfortunate man had stabbed himself. It was only then that he recognized just how heavily armed the figure was, with everything from knives to swords. A bandit? Had someone just tried to rob him?

"Halt!" a voice called, and a new person stepped into the clearing - a far more menacing figure than the one burning away in his fire. He was more heavily armed than the bandit and clothed in black, wearing an eerie white mask with animalistic markings on it. The faceless shape froze the moment it entered the clearing, gazing at the wand-turned-knife that Harry held, and then at the corpse.

"I am terribly sorry for this," Harry admitted, trying to keep his own freak-out under control as he nudged the corpse gently with his foot. "It seems... your man here ran into a bit of an accident…" He grimaced slightly at how terrible that sounded. "Waking me up like that, well…"

The man stared for a long moment, then nodded. "An accident, you said?"

"It seems he, er, fell onto my knife?" Harry gestured vaguely with the blade. "And then… into the fire?"

The masked man snorted at that, and relaxed the slightest bit as he took in Harry's innocent posture, his complete lack of threatening gestures. "Ah - accidents happen. I've had a few like that…" He nodded slowly. "Who are you, exactly?"

"Ah… Just call me Mr. Black." He shrugged as he glanced again to the corpse. "I didn't mean to do all this, you know. I don't exactly go around -" He swallowed. "That is…"

"Don't burden yourself. He was an enemy - I would've done the same soon enough," the masked man said swiftly, walking over as he formed several hand signs, though he remained on the other side of the fire. A splash of water doused the flames, and Harry gaped slightly at the wandless spell. Magic. Right in the open. That would be helpful.

"Ah, that is… good?"

"Quite. Criminals pay the highest price." The silver-haired man gestured to the corpse. "Thank you for your assistance. But I must know - what is the reason for your presence here? The borderlands are notoriously unsafe, and it is foolish to camp within contested territory."

"Ah, I didn't know that. I'm - er - just a guy on vacation," Harry murmured, glancing in the direction that the masked man had come from nervously. He could smell something on the wind, with his rather enhanced senses - blood, and not from his own little skirmish. "You're - not going to attack me too, are you?"

"Not without a good reason. You carry no hitai-ate…" The masked figure nodded. "No allegiance to any of the shinobi villages?"

Harry had no idea what that even meant. "No allegiance but to myself -" He paused as he thought of the Professor and Henchgirl. "Well - not to anyone that resides in this world, in any case." He nodded slowly. "And you are…?"

"I am part of ANBU, from Konoha. We keep these places from turning into warzones." The man cocked his head to the side. "Where are you headed?"

"Civilization." Harry shrugged, then paused. "This isn't going to get me in trouble, is it?" He frowned. "He was your enemy, you said? Any chance that I might get out of this without…?"

"It's alright. This man is - was - one of three that worked together to kidnap one of our citizens," the masked figure stated. "Refrain from killing inhabitants of the Land of Fire or Konoha, and I will look past this transgression." The man nodded. "Travelling openly is liable to attract bandit activity, so it might be a good idea to avoid them by moving with more care."

"You must know I'm not harmless, Mr. Anbu." Harry stared at his pointy wand and sighed. "I will try to make - less trouble. I can remain unseen if I want to."

"I figured." He nodded to the corpse. "I will be taking this."

"Sure." Harry glanced back at his camp, and sighed. "Well, everything's bloody now and smells of bacon, so I'm not going to catch any shuteye with you folks roaming around… I guess I'll just pack up." With a few gestures he gathered his few possessions, unafraid to show his own magic if the other man was so open with his. He heard a momentary gasp and turned slightly.

"That was some form of Fūinjutsu…" the man said. "That is a - rare skill to possess."

"Is it?" Harry shrugged, wondering since when transfiguration and vanishing were remarkable skills. "It's pretty natural to me. I suppose you and I come from different realms, though. I imagine you have some skills that I wouldn't know."

The man seemed amused at that. "Undoubtedly."

Harry smiled tightly. "Well, if I'm not under arrest for that affair with that - fellow, then I'd rather be out of here before anyone comes looking for me - or before any more people stumble their way into an early grave. I'll leave you to tend to the bodies, since you want this one." He turned. "Maybe I'll see you in this - Konoha of yours."

He left behind a tense silence, and only let go a relieved breath when he reached the road.

"He just vanished," Tenzō stated shortly, frowning. "I followed him a long while, but then he tapped himself on the head - and he just blended into everything. No chakra to speak of as far as I could sense, no way to track him visually, and even scent was nearly useless. He smells like all sorts of animals for some reason."

"I noticed that. I suspected he might've been in league with Orochimaru when I smelt snake - but I think it's a coincidence." Kakashi shrugged. "I hardly think the Sannin bothers with wolves or bats - or birds, for that matter. Probably he's just doing it to blend in with all the natural scents in the forest. You got the hostages?"

"Yeah. Already on the way home with my Wood Clones," Tenzō admitted. "I only caught the last few moments of this whole thing... What did you learn while I was gone?"

Kakashi smiled slightly. "Quite a bit, actually. It started when one of my pair escaped - managed to blind me pretty good for a moment or two. Can't have been more than ten or twenty seconds afterwards that I caught up, but our stranger had already finished the man off."

Tenzō blinked. "Efficient."

"Hmhm. Stabbed him directly into the heart with one thrust - then set the body alight. By the time I arrived, most of the evidence was already burning away." He shrugged. "Seems Black doesn't like to leave any traces behind."

"Black, you said?"

"No first name that he gave me. Seems to be a Fūinjutsu user of some skill - he sealed up his camp from a distance, with just a gesture." He hummed under his breath. "It is a skill that I mostly only know from tales of the Uzumaki clan - and from my teacher's use of them, of course. The fact that this man used such techniques openly in my presence probably means he recognized me."

Tenzō rolled his eyes. "Well, considering your hair…"

Kakashi sighed. "Yes, yes. Black mentioned he might see me in Konoha, which means he's likely headed there. His pace is nowhere near as quick as our own, though - he wants to give us plenty of time to inform the Hokage."

"He could very well be a spy," Tenzō pointed out. "I do not know of any Black clan, so I suspect it is an assumed name. In which case he could be from anywhere."

"Perhaps. But he reminded me a little of someone…" He smiled thinly behind his mask. "The mission is done - I think it's time we head back and relay what we've seen. The Hokage will know what to do."

"Yes, sempai!"