Date: Still early December. Today is not a good day to be me.
That lead I was tracking? Trail went cold. No idea when it'll heat up gain. Which means I could be here for who knows how long!
And even more bad news: I talked with Nell today. She says that my LAPD liasion's job with NCIS was in trouble, well. I talked with LAPD, and, there was nothing I could do to get them to change their minds. His job with NCIS is now terminated.
I don't know what to do now! I feel like such a failure!
I think I need to go cry somewhere right now.
Later that day
I'm feeling a bit better now. Thanks to a good friend in a dream.
After I unhappily cried myself into taking a nap, I dreamed about my old partner again. I told him how awful I felt.
Then, he reminded me of all the times that I felt like I had failed my team. And one of those times, was when my top agent said some sweet things to me last year after my team was threatened by someone I knew a long time ago.
I then asked him why? What could I cdo? I'm having trouble finding whoever is after my team, 2 partners who are married are now unable to work together, I felt like I was failing all of them.
He then reminded me, of the times that my team was threatened by a mole, and how I fought back.
'Even when times were tough, you never gave up. You were willing to die trying to save them if you had to. You found a way then, you can find a way now.' He said.
I realized just how right he was. I thanked him, hugged him. And then I woke up.
I wish he was still alive.
I'm going to keep trying to find whoever is after my team. Even if I have to find someone else, I'll still find the crook!
And, I think there are ways I can try to get my liasion back. Until then, I'm going to try to do something nice for the couple.
I'm not giving up on my team. It's not what I do. Even if I want to, there are incredible people who encourage me to keep going, because they know that sometimes, even I need a confidence boost. And I'm very grateful for all of it.
Time to get busy!
Endnote: Hetty will be in next week's Christmas episode for the 1st time since Season 8!