Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any of its characters, only my OC - Kaitlyn Donovan.

This story is the sequel to All's Fair in Love and War.

Query: What sacrifices must be endured by those that secure our freedom?

Thank you to Just a Crazy-Man, bina W, and IrishBug74, LoyaulteMeLie, and Lupinesence for the reviews, and to everyone that is following this story and adding it to their favorites.

Chapter 4 - Perhaps everything that happened this day could be chalked up to stress. . .

The Price of Freedom

Chapter 4

Captain Kaitlyn Donovan surreptitiously watched as Captain Jonathon Archer and Captain Erika Hernandez spoke with each other at the bar. She was inwardly pleased that Captain Archer could relax for awhile, especially before his debriefing tomorrow.

The communication implant behind her ear gave a soft buzz, "Tinner to Donovan."

She gently touched the implant once as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear - giving the efficient go ahead for Tinner to continue, without her having to say anything.

"Ma'am, Ross and I are on own way to relieve you. ETA, two minutes." Sergeant Tinner stated.

She tapped the implant twice in acknowledgment, then removed her hand from her ear and took another sip of her ginger ale. She smiled gently, she should have known that Robbins would be looking out for her. She'd run the physical training session this morning at 0500 and it was now . . . she glanced at her watch - 2234. It had been a long day and by the way things had gone today, it was going to be another long day tomorrow.

"Kaitlyn!" a voice said loudly over the crowd.

Kaitlyn frowned inwardly as Admiral Sam Gardner plopped down in the seat next to hers. She gave him a small nod and took another sip of her drink.

"I didn't think you stayed out this late at night." he leaned a bit closer to her.

Kaitlyn sat back in her chair to escape the reek of alcohol emanating from him. Obviously, he'd been here a while. "Occasionally." Her gaze quickly swept over the bar to make sure that everything was still safe.

"So, you waiting on someone?" he asked as he slowly looked around the bar. Then he recognized Archer and Hernandez. Sam Gardner looked back at her questionably, "Are you serious - you're here watching them?" He shook his head, she was always on duty. Didn't she know how to relax?

Kaitlyn's lips drew into a fine line. "Sam, I'm working." She gave him a small smile to soften her brush off. "I'll talk to you at lunch tomorrow."

He ran his hand down her bare arm, "Come on - I'll just sit here with you."

A large hand came down on the Sam Gardner's shoulder, "I think the lady asked you to leave."

Kaitlyn looked up at Corporal Ross and gave a small shake to her head. She didn't want to cause a scene - not when they were supposed to be inconspicuous. "That's okay, gentlemen. I'm leaving." She stood up and gave a small nod of thanks to her two MACOs, then headed out the door - leaving Captain Jonathon Archer's safety in their capable hands.

She kept an eye on her surroundings as she walked. It had only taken them five minutes to walk here, and it would only take her another fifteen to walk to her apartment. She rolled her shoulders gently and tried to forget about Sam Gardner. She touched her communication implant. "Donovan to HQ."

"HQ, go ahead Donovan."

"Tinner and Ross are with 0101 and I'm heading home." she stated.

"Acknowledged. HQ out."

Kaitlyn turned around quickly as she heard footsteps approaching. She frowned when she recognized Sam Gardner. She turned back around and kept walking.

"Kaitlyn, wait up." Gardner called as he quickened his pace to catch up with her. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean to bother you when you were working."

She kept walking, ignoring him.

"Captain Donovan!" he raised his voice.

She stopped. As long as he had kept this personal, she could ignore him. But, he'd just effectively used his rank to order her to stop walking. She turned around and waited for him to stop in front of her. She kept her hands loosely at her sides and her expression even.

"Why are you ignoring me?" he demanded to know and grabbed her arm.

Kaitlyn took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as she fought down the urge to break his hand. "Admiral Gardner, you are putting me in a difficult position. I've told you before that I'm not interested in having a more personal relationship with you. I don't mind working on the investigation with you, but I do not want any further contact with you outside of the investigation. Now, remove your hand from my arm." she stated clearly.

Sam Gardner narrowed his eyes and moved closer to her, "I was just going to offer to buy you a drink - you didn't have to sic those goons on me."

Kaitlyn's jaw tightened, "MACOs, they're MACOs - not goons. You're treading on thin ice when you start insulting the Corps. Admiral, you're inebriated and you aren't thinking clearly. Go home." she directed and yanked her arm out of his grasp. She turned and walked away.

His hand grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

She reached for his hand and squeezed it as she turned her body. He dropped to his knees. She kept him immobilized and frowned.

"Let go of my hand!" he yelled as he bit back the pain that was shooting up his arm and down his spine.

What the hell was she supposed to do now? Clearly, he wasn't thinking straight. Would he continue to follow her all the way to her apartment? She glanced behind him and saw Sergeant Tinner jogging over to them.

"Ma'am?" Tinner questioned as he took in the situation.

Kaitlyn looked down at Gardner and squeezed the nerve in his hand tighter - making him yelp. "Admiral Gardner was just leaving." She released his hand and he quickly stood up.

He glared at Kaitlyn and the MACO beside her. He'd make her pay for humiliating him in front of an enlisted male. "Good night." he spat and walked down another street.

They both watched as he left. Tinner glanced at her, "I saw him leave right after you did, thought I'd make sure he didn't do anything stupid."

Kaitlyn gave him a small smile, "You have good instincts. The Admiral was not thinking clearly. I'm glad you came - I just might have broken his hand to get my point across."

Tinner shook his head, "No, you wouldn't do that, Ma'am. You're okay?" he questioned.

Kaitlyn nodded, "I'm just fine, Sergeant. See you in the morning."

Tinner turned and headed back to the bar to guard Captain Archer. He sat back down at the table Donovan had vacated.

Corporal Ross lifted his eyebrow in question, "Did he catch up to her?"

Tinner nodded and took a drink of water, "She put him in his place, but he looked really pissed." They all knew Captain Donovan wanted to handle her own problems, but the Admiral's behavior was escalating. "I'll mention it in my report. Colonel Kemp will see it and take care of the situation." He watched the two NX Captains talking easily with each other. Donovan had been training everyone in her unit the past year on reading body language. If you could read body language, you had an advantage on people's true intentions. Their unit was now able to spot people in crowds that didn't quite fit in, which had helped with three of the breeches to security over the past year. "What do you think?" he asked Ross.

Corporal Ross took in a deep breath, "I think they use to be an item, called it off though - probably because of their rank differences before. There is still some chemistry there." he gave his clinical evaluation of the two NX Captains.

Tinner nodded in agreement. "Looks like Captain Archer is leaving." He noted the man paying his tab. Ross headed out the door, while Tinner waited for Archer to leave. He watched as Archer led Hernandez out the bar and waved down a cab for her.

Jonathon Archer watched the cab leave and stood there for a few moments. Where should he go? He frowned when he noted the man still standing a few feet from the door of the club. "You okay tonight, Tinner - isn't it?" he questioned the young man he thought he'd recognized from a few years ago.

Sergeant Tinner nodded as he walked over to Archer. "Yes, Sir."

"Who's with you on shift?" Archer raised an eyebrow.

"Corporal Ross, Sir." Ross introduced himself.

Archer gave them a weary smile, "Donovan finally go home?" he inquired as they started walking back to Starfleet.

"Yes, Sir." they answered.

Tinner watched Captain Archer as they started to walk back to Starfleet, "Captain Donovan has a shuttle standing by to take you back to the Enterprise when you're ready, Sir."

Jonathon Archer raised an eyebrow, "How did she know I wouldn't stay somewhere planet side tonight?"

"You didn't bring a bag with you, Sir." Tinner pointed out.

Archer chuckled, "Yeah, that's true."

XXXXX

Kaitlyn Donovan round house kicked the punching bag, then gave it a few quick jabs. She straightened and looked at her Aide questionably as he entered the training gym.

"Colonel Kemp would like to see you, Ma'am."

She nodded and started unwrapping her hands. She headed to Kemp's office. As soon as she stepped into his office, she realized she was seriously underdressed.

Kemp was seated behind his desk and Admiral Stevens was in the seat across from him, both of them all ready in their uniforms of the day. They looked up as she entered.

Donovan shook her head, "I'm sorry, Colonel. I'll come back later." she apologized and backed up.

Both men stood up. "Come in, Captain Donovan." Kemp waved.

"With respect, Sir - I've been working out." she knew she looked ragged.

Admiral Stevens smiled, "I'm sorry we're interrupting your pt, but we need to discuss Admiral Gardner."

Donovan frowned as she walked over to them, "Is he bringing charges on me, Sir?" she questioned them.

Kemp and Stevens gave her a puzzled look. "Should he?" Kemp asked.

Kaitlyn shrugged, "I did immobilize him when he grabbed me, Sir. He could, possibly - but then he'd have to explain what happened." She'd realized that if Gardner hadn't said anything, that it had to have been Tinner.

Colonel Kemp crossed his arms, "Don't be upset at Sergeant Tinner for putting it in his report - you know it's his duty. I'm afraid that Admiral Gardner has escalated this situation. I informed Admiral Stevens and he came over this morning to discuss the options."

"Options, Sir?" she glanced at her Commanding Officers, wondering what options they were discussing.

Admiral Stevens looked over her carefully and noticed her swollen knuckles, "I could take him off the investigation."

Donovan shook her head, "You'd have to give him a reason, Sir. He will demand one, he knows his rights."

"You could file formal charges against him." Kemp suggested.

Captain Kaitlyn Donovan raised an eyebrow, "The charges wouldn't stand up, Sir - even I know that. Just because we're both involved in the investigation, doesn't mean we have to work with one another. I don't think he will give me any further trouble."

Admiral Stevens sighed, "I'll make sure you aren't called into the lab at the same time. Captain, I'm sorry that he's behaving unprofessionally - it's inexcusable." Even he couldn't take Gardner off the investigation, he could at least assign him something else to do today instead of being at Archer's debriefing.

Colonel Kemp nodded, "Thank you, Admiral Stevens for taking care of this situation. I know that Captain Donovan has been very helpful to Starfleet Intelligence over the past few years, and I'm sure you appreciate that she takes on those extra assignments while still carrying out her responsibilities here."

Stevens gave Kemp a small smile. He understood the MACO Colonel clearly. Take care of the situation, or she wouldn't be helping Starfleet Intelligence anymore.

Kaitlyn glanced between the two men. They knew she was still standing here, but Colonel Kemp was clearly giving Admiral Stevens an ultimatum. She cleared her throat. "If that is all, gentlemen, I need to get ready for my morning meeting with my unit."

Colonel Kemp nodded and indicated her knuckles, "Get those tended to first, Captain."

She snapped to, then headed to the showers.

Donovan headed to the small infirmary in MACO Headquarters before heading to her meeting. She smiled when she saw that Corporal Rutledge was on duty.

"Good morning, Ma'am - problems?" Rutledge questioned as she came in.

She indicated her knuckles, "Hit the bag for a little too long this morning."

XXXXX

Captain Jonathon Archer took a deep breath after he'd giving his account of what happened on the Seleya to the Command Council.

Ambassador Soval looked at Captain Archer, "As far as I can determine, you did not try to save a single Vulcan crewman."

Archer winced, "There was no point - they were too far gone."

"Is that your medical opinion, Captain?" Soval questioned with a look of disdain.

"Phlox made that determination." Jonathon Archer reminded them.

Ambassador Soval glanced at his PADD, "Our specialist examined the data you sent back, it is far from certain that the neurological damage was irreversible."

Jonathon breathed out slowly to try and control his temper. "There was nothing we could do for them."

Soval's eyebrow rose, "T'Pol was exposed to the Trellium, she recovered." he pointed out.

Jonathon could feel his chest tightening, "I couldn't help them." he snapped.

Soval looked at him coolly, "There is no need to get emotional, Captain." He took a calming breath. "You spent several hours in the ship's auxiliary control room. In that time, did you try to access the internal sensors, or download the computer database?"

Archer watched the Vulcan Ambassador closely, "No."

Soval put his PADD down on the table, "So, in effect, we don't know what really happened aboard the Seleya."

"What the hell does that mean?" Archer demanded to know.

"Because of this oversight, we'll never have a complete picture of the events that led to the ship's destruction." Soval pointed out evenly.

Jonathon gripped the armrests, "I just told you exactly what led to the ship's destruction." he raised his voice.

"Captain." Admiral Forrest warned his friend, he could see that this was quickly getting out of hand.

Jonathon shook his head at Forrest, "I'm not going to sit here and be accused of murdering those people!" he retorted.

"No one is accusing you of anything, Captain." the Vulcan Ambassador reasoned.

Jonathon Archer glared at the Vulcan, "Maybe that crew would still be alive if you'd been a little more helpful."

The room was silent.

"I beg your pardon?" the Ambassador questioned, not quite believing the Captain had just accused him of being at fault.

Jonathon shook his head, "You did everything you could to sabotage our mission. I got more help from the Andorians than I ever got from the High Command."

"That's enough, Captain." Maxwell Forrest warned again, noting that Captain Donovan had set her PADD down and was slowly moving forward to the edge of her chair.

Jonathon Archer jumped out of his seat and placed his hands firmly on the conference table, "This planet would be a cloud of dust right now, if we'd listened to you!"

Maxwell Forrest jumped up, "That's enough, Captain!"

Captain Donovan had herself firmly planted at Jonathon Archer's side, ready to keep the man from harming himself or Ambassador Soval.

Jonathon Archer stepped back, slowly realizing that he'd just lost all control in front of everyone present.

XXXXX

Captain Donovan waited outside Admiral Forrest's office as he and Captain Archer discussed the man's outburst. She could hear their raised voices and she hoped that neither of them would give an ultimatum.

The doors opened and Archer flew out of the office.

"That's an order, Captain!" Forrest demanded.

She watched as Lieutenant Tebbe followed Archer down the corridor. She knocked on the Admiral's open door.

Maxwell Forrest glanced up, then rubbed his temple tiredly. "He's supposed to take a few days to collect himself. I'm worried about him." he admitted.

Kaitlyn nodded, "I'll look after him, Admiral." She turned and quickly left. She knew that Captain Archer was upset. She'd never seen him lose control like that before. The Expanse had taken its toll on him and the dam had finally broken.

XXXXX

Donovan knew Archer been upset when he'd commandeered one of the Enterprise's shuttles and flown himself back alone.

Lieutenant Reed caught up to her and flew the other shuttle back in silence. They headed for the Captain's quarters and waited for him to answer. Reed frowned, "Security, where is Captain Archer?" he requested.

"The Captain transported down to Earth a few minutes ago, Sir." the Security officer stated.

"Where did he transport to?" Reed questioned.

"Unknown, Sir. He had the last transport wiped from the computer." the Security officer explained.

Kaitlyn stepped into the Captain's quarters before the Lieutenant could protest. She immediately spotted his communicator on the desk - no doubt he'd left it on purpose. She quickly tried to think where he'd be going to be alone. Kaitlyn smiled as she realized she didn't need to figure it out, Captain Hernandez would know. She had gotten word on their shuttle ride up that Hernandez was getting ready to leave her ship.

"Donovan to Robbins, what is the sit rep on 0201?" She asked as Reed looked at her questionably.

"She is getting ready to transport and she has her climbing gear." Robbins replied quickly.

"I will get climbing gear and go after her. Please have my night gear bag transported up to the Enterprise. Send me the coordinates as soon as you have them." Kaitlyn requested.

"Yes, Ma'am." Robbins quickly acknowledged.

Lieutenant Reed crossed his arms, "Hernandez will lead you to Captain Archer?"

Donovan nodded.

"I'm coming with you." he stated, in a tone not to be argued with. "We have gear." He indicated for her to follow him.

It took them less than fifteen minutes to change into the Enterprise's hot weather uniforms and gather all of the gear they needed for climbing.

They transported down to the coordinates and they both quickly opened their scanners in search of the Captains. They followed Hernandez's trail and held back as she caught up with Archer.

Archer seemed perturbed that she'd found him, but after a few moments he acquiesced and allowed her to come with him. They both headed off for the mountains ahead.

Donovan touched her implant, "Tebbe, this is Donovan. I will now be the primary for 0101, 0201, and 0105. Please keep a 360 on our location and notify me if anyone comes within a mile of our location." she directed.

"Understood, Ma'am - you are the primary for 0101, 0201, and 0105, and a one mile radius notification is in place. " Lieutenant Tebbe quickly confirmed.

"Tebbe, you're the primary for the 01 crew until I return." Donovan explained.

"Confirmed. I am the primary for the 01 crew until your return. Notification will be sent out to all subsidiaries. Anything else, Ma'am?" he questioned.

"That's all for now. Donovan out." She clicked off her implant and looked up at the mountain. She glanced at Lieutenant Reed, "How much climbing experience have you had, Lieutenant?"

Malcolm Reed looked up at the imposing mountains. "I've had some experience, but in no way am I an expert." he admitted. "I take it you've had far more experience?" he inquired.

They began walking to the base of the mountain, "Yes, it's our fourth survival course in the MACOs." she indicated for him to go ahead and start putting on his climbing gear as she began putting on hers.

"What are the first three courses?" he asked as he stepped into the leg harnesses of the belt, then clipped the belt firmly around his waist.

"First is desert, then extreme cold, third is jungle." she explained as she fastened her belt. She went over to Reed and quickly double checked all of his safeties. Donovan quickly pulled out her PADD and called up the topography of the area. She looked through her binoculars as Archer and Hernandez were climbing up the mountain, about a mile from them. "Looks like they're heading here." she pointed out to Reed on the PADD.

Reed nodded, "If we climb up here," he indicated on the PADD, "we should still be able to reach them along the ridge here."

Donovan agreed and put the PADD in her pack. She looked up, "I'll climb first and clip in, when you get to the clip - tell me, then you can take it out." she instructed as she tethered the two of them together with a safety rope.

XXXXX

Donovan and Reed had been rather quiet in their climb. No idle chit chat, just focused on their task at hand. Occasionally stopping for water and to check on where the Captains were.

Malcolm Reed was looking through the binoculars and breathed a sigh of relief, "Looks like they're finally stopping for the night." he stated. He didn't want to admit it, but his body had started protesting loudly the past thirty minutes. He'd be damn lucky if he could move after awhile. He looked up at Donovan as she glanced down at him, she didn't look too worse for wear.

She smiled, "Finally!"

Malcolm Reed smiled back. Maybe she wasn't feeling too great either.

She braced herself as she looked up, "There's a landing about twenty feet up where we can stop." She took out her water pack and drank a few more gulps before she calculated her next handholds. "Had I known that I was going to be climbing today, I wouldn't have pushed myself so much at pt this morning and I would have hydrated more." she commented.

Malcolm Reed nodded as he watched where she placed herself going up, "This is definitely not what I expected to be doing today."

She made it to the top of the ledge and pulled herself over. She rested for a few moments and took in their temporary surrounding for the night. About a football field's worth of flat terrain. She closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled. She leaned over the ledge to check on Reed's progress, "I hear water." she grinned at him.

He smiled as he hooked his arm over the ledge and pulled himself up. "That's bloody wonderful." he sighed softly as he took a huge breath of air.

She reached over the ledge and pulled out the last clip, then got up slowly. Her body ached in protest.

They walked over about fifty feet to the shade of some trees and dropped their packs, then started taking off their harnesses.

Kaitlyn just wanted to lay down for awhile, but she knew if she did her body would become stiff - and they still had to prepare the area. She stood up and pulled out her scanner. The little stream was about forty more feet away. She looked back at the cliff near them and noted a covered ledge about ten feet up, in case they needed better shelter. She circled the area, trying to find any indications of larger animals in the area - but she didn't find any. When she came back to where she had dropped off her pack, she noticed Reed placing rocks in a pile.

"If we make a fire, we'll attract the Captains' attention, but we can heat the rocks." he pointed out, then used his phase pistol to heat the rocks up. He grunted slightly when he stood up from placing the last rocks. "Don't mind the noises I make, just feeling my age." he gave her a small smile.

Kaitlyn nodded in understanding, "Probably doesn't help the situation when you've been away from Earth's gravity for so long either." She dropped down and opened her pack and pulled out two MREs and opened their packs. She placed the two pot roast meals against the rocks to let them heat up.

Malcolm picked up the binoculars and checked on the Captains - they were settling in and eating their food. He rolled his shoulders as his body relished the cooler breeze now they were in the shade and not climbing in the direct sunlight. He turned back and started to walk back over to their makeshift camp. He raised an eyebrow as Donovan took off the shirt she'd borrowed from the Enterprise and hung it over a tree branch. He noted the white tank top she had been wearing under the shirt. "You always wear pt clothes under your uniform?" he tried to make light of the fact that she was practically stripping down in front of him

Kaitlyn unhooked the belt and began taking off the pants of the uniform, "Of course." She hung the pants up on a branch next to the shirt. "You might want to do the same and let your clothes dry out." She went to her pack and pulled out two wash cloths, and tossed one of them to him. "You can come wash off when you've changed." She walked barefooted and headed to the stream.

Malcolm quickly took off his uniform and hung it up - thankful that he wore pt shorts under his uniform, along with his standard issue blue t-shirt. He was pleased that the grass beneath his feet was soft and there weren't any sticker burrs in it. She was already wiping the wet towel on her arms and neck by the time he got to the stream. He quickly dipped the cloth in the stream and rung it out, then began wiping the grime off of himself. His body was soaking in the moisture.

After they'd clean up, they went back and sat down near the rocks.

Kaitlyn handed him the warm pack of pot roast and the rest of his MRE pack, then sat back to open hers up. She smiled as the aroma wafted from the package.

They ate silently as the sun started its descent behind the other mountains.

Kaitlyn got up and laid out her thermal blanket, then started slowly stretching out her muscles - even though they protested after the day of pulling herself up a damn mountain. She slowly rotated her shoulders, then stretched her arms out above her head.

Malcolm Reed swallowed hard. He knew that she was physically fit, no one could deny that basic fact about her. But the way she languidly moved her body in such a controlled manner caused his mental functions to falter. It was almost a Tai Chi style of stretching. He swallowed again and tried not to stare so intently. "Where did you pick that up?" he tried to keep his voice even. She stopped and looked at him, almost like she'd forgotten he was there.

Kaitlyn blinked a few times as she turned to him. He was lazily leaning back against a large rock and watching her rather intently. Then, she remembered he'd asked her a question. "This is a stretching routine I came up with - it works every muscle in the body." She watched as he winced when he stood up to gather their trash and put it all in a clear sack, then sealed it and put it in his pack. His body might not make a complete recovery tonight, she realized. "Would you like to do the stretching too - it should help." she suggested.

Malcolm stopped as he got his thermal blanket from his pack. It might help. He'd started to realize, as he was sitting and eating, that his body just might not want to work tomorrow. Wouldn't that be just lovely - if he had to be transported back to the ship because he couldn't move in the morning. He sighed softly as he let the pack drop to the ground. He took a deep breath, "I don't suppose it could hurt." He laid his blanket out and raised an eyebrow.

She nodded, "Take three deep breaths and let them out slowly. Rotate your shoulders gently as you continue to breathe deeply." she instructed as she did the movements. She could see the tension in his muscles slowly start to dissipate as they went through the thirty minute session. She had never shown anyone else her stretching routine, but she started to think that it might be beneficial to others. She'd started the routine almost a year ago to counteract the stress her body built up over the course of each day. She found that her physical training in the morning got her body ready for the day, but at night she found she couldn't stop thinking. Too much to think about. Too many variables to consider in keeping everyone safe. She'd almost become an insomniac. Then, one night she'd been coming home very late in the evening and had decided to go through the park. She'd found a group of people completing a series of exercises. She'd thought people only did their Tai Chi routines in the morning. She'd stayed and asked the man who ran the session why they were here at night. Mr. Van had explained to her that some people needed to calm their minds in the evening, before they could sleep properly. It had been an eye opening experience for her.

She looked over at the Lieutenant as they finished their final movements and took a few deep breaths. He looked in much better condition than when they started. "Feel better?" she inquired.

Malcolm Reed nodded slowly. He was keenly aware of every muscle in his body, but they didn't hurt - they felt . . . warm. "I feel much better. Thank you." he said softly. He didn't know quite what to do next. He fell back to a safe subject to discuss. "How early do you think they'll be up in the morning?" he questioned.

Kaitlyn shrugged, "0500 - it's the time they usually get up." She realized what she'd just said and felt her body tense, waiting for his reaction.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed's eyebrows rose at her easy admission that she knew the daily sleeping habits of the two Captains. But then, he knew that information about Captain Archer. It was pretty easy to figure these things out when you've observed someone for three years. He would suppose that she could have figured out Hernandez's habits from the past year, since she had been in charge of security. But, how did she know Archer's habits? "Did you gather that from the mission logs?" he gave her a means to explain.

Kaitlyn Donovan sat down slowly on her thermal blanket, not quite sure how she should respond. She laid down and stared up at the sky and took a few cleansing breaths. This was the man that had saved her life when Fin, the man who was out to kill Admiral Forrest, had almost managed to shove a knife into her heart. She'd trusted him then - could she still trust him? "Do you still work for the Section?"

Malcolm Reed sank down to his blanket. The first rule of the Section was that you never talked about the Section. He hadn't expected her to bring this up. "No, I don't. Do you?" He watched as she took a deep breath and let it out heavily.

"No, I don't. But, recent events have me questioning if we ever really get out from under them." Kaitlyn closed her eyes tightly - she didn't want to think about the bombs she'd built that kept making their appearances, or Admiral Sam Gardner. She turned her head slightly to look at him. "I've been working with Starfleet Intelligence the past few years - analyzing information for them. Most recently was all of the Enterprise logs." She found she couldn't look at him anymore, and quickly looked back up at the stars.

Malcolm frowned as he deconstructed her words - all of the Enterprise logs. His eyes narrowed, all the logs. He felt his fists clenching. All the logs! Their personal logs were private, it was a way for people to vent out their frustrations. It was a way for people to catalogue the events of the day, to put some semblance of order in that hell hole of a place known as the Expanse. He quickly thought over some of the things he'd mentioned in his personal logs and found himself becoming angrier by them moment. "You read all of our logs?" his kept his voice low, because he felt like yelling.

Kaitlyn frowned. She could hear the anger in his voice, and she didn't blame him. "Yes." she admitted softly.

"Is that all you're going to say?" he demanded. How could she just lay there calmly? How could she just act like it didn't matter that she knew all of their deepest, darkest secrets that they'd professed in their personal logs! He blinked as everything suddenly fell into place. That's why she'd been at all of their debriefings! To approve the validity of their statements, because she knew what they'd really said and how they'd really felt. The explicatives that erupted from his mouth caused her to bolt up. He got up and left.

Kaitlyn watched as Lieutenant Reed stormed off towards the stream. She guessed that she could have never told him the truth about reading their logs. But, then she'd have just been pent up with guilt until someone found out. She knew he would never be able to trust her again, but she still trusted him. She closed her eyes tiredly. She knew she wouldn't be able to go to sleep until he decided to return. She reached in her pack and turned on her scanner. He was about fifty feet away, kicking the shit out of a bush.

Malcolm collapsed tiredly on the ground. He'd effectively mutilated the bush. He closed his eyes tightly and held his head in his hands. He'd never felt so utterly betrayed. How could Starfleet have thought it was okay to have someone read their personal logs? Did they think the crew was lying about what had happened? He slowly began to see the situation from Starfleet's point of view. They'd sent out a ship and her crew into the unknown to find a species that had killed more than seven million humans with a single weapon. Starfleet hadn't known if the Enterprise would succeed - more than likely, they wouldn't. Yet, somehow - the Enterprise had succeeded. Even managing to garner a peace with some of the Xindi species. How could Starfleet quickly find out if the Enterprise crew hadn't been compromised and brainwashed? They had someone analyze all of their logs and look for discrepancies. He sighed softly. If he was in charge of Starfleet Intelligence, he would have done the same thing in order to protect Earth. It didn't make him feel any better about having his privacy invaded, but at least he understood why.

He stood up and winced, he'd cut his feet up a bit when he'd lashed out at the bush. It had been a stupid thing to do - but it had taken out some of his aggression and kept him from taking it out on Captain Donovan. He walked painfully back to their site, thankfully there was enough moonlight to allow him to see pretty easily. Why had she told him? She could have just not said anything. He came to his blanket and saw the first aid kit sitting on it, waiting for his return. He looked over at Donovan. She was on her side, turned away from him. He sighed as he sat down and opened the kit up. So, she'd known he'd been having at the bush and had more than likely gotten scratched up. He quietly cleaned the cuts on his feet and hands and closed the kit. He laid down and tried to come to terms with her knowing everything he'd admitted in his personal logs.

He knew she was still awake - her breathing was uneven.

Malcolm turned his back to her and tried to go to sleep.

XXXXX

TBC.

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