Something You've Read Before
Chapter Eight
A Somber Affection
At nine in the morning, Natsume already made his way towards Koko's house which was beside a lake they used to dip into when they were little, about nine or ten years old. For Ruka so loved the lake, he named it after the Yomes, thus Lake Yome; for easy identification. Well, they still did all sorts of water activities they could in that lake during summer but for the rest of the year, the lake was an entity that could make them feel nostalgic and wild at the same time. The lake's clear water reflected the trees surrounding the vicinity, making the water looked green and unclean from afar but take a few steps nearer and one would discover the clearness of the aqua. Spring time always brought out the best of Lake Yome with its appearance the equaling those of other tourist spots that could be found on other prefectures.
Mr. and Mrs. Yome pointed that whenever Koko and his friends would hang out and skinny dip on the lake, they had safety devices available. Mainly, because Koko was their lone treasure and anything that could risk their son, they would prevent it beforehand. Natsume and the gang sometimes made fun of Koko because of his parents' out of the place protectiveness but Koko would only accept the mockery and divert the topic. He didn't like it when things get so serious. Growing up in a very serious household made him dislike when something turned complicated.
A wooden sign swung at an eight-foot pole roughly two meters away from Koko's home. The sign read 'Yome Residence' in italicized words. The house was almost as large as those of the Hyuugas but the exterior and interior designs were more intricate and detailed than those of the Hyuugas. After all, Kaoru Hyuuga might had the ability to save a dying multi-billion company but she had a very bland taste when design came on talks. More reason why Natsume liked the serenity and peace of mind Koko's place given him. Unlike his home which was one of the grandest houses in the city, but still failed on giving Natsume the warmth of what a true home should be.
Mrs. Yome being such an avid fan of the style Arcachon Villa that she would often see in her travel in European countries, she decided to build a home adapting its architecture. She was known to be a woman easily influenced by foreign ideas. But, unlike the Arcachon Villas in France, Mrs. Yome still put her own embellishments on their home, making the villa longer and bigger than usual seen abroad and deviating from its traditional style of bright painting, the Yome Residence was an infrastructure of silver, white, and light blue. What made the house popular among the rich people of Tokyo was its detail on every design. Even the littlest curve of every metal piece and number of steps had a meaning.
Natsume went straight to the narrow alley at the side of the house which would lead him straight at his destination. Koko liked to have his toasted bread and coffee at the swinging bench just three trees away from the lake. Usually, the Yomes ate their breakfast separately but when they have the time to be together, they eat together even though that meant for Koko to pretend to be the obedient son his parents believed him to be. That was one factor why Natsume was in good terms with Koko, they could relate with one another when speaking about family.
No sign of other family members inside. Natsume could tell just by peeking from the small but overflowing number of windows of the house. A few more steps and finally the blooming flowers of May welcomed him. The grass was moist making Natsume's shoes clammy but he just relished it, noting that when summer comes, dirt would cover his shoes instead. His steps made noises and as a result Koko turned his head to the left and waved at him. Surprisingly, Koko was not sipping his tea or crunching his toast but was busy with a whole different thing.
Koko was filthy. In his hands were screwdrivers, nails, and a rag. His shirt, arms, and face inked with black grease. His baggy eyes and slouched posture indicated deprivation of sleep. Natsume traveled his gaze on what could be the source of his friend's exhausted look and found his answer. Behind the Yome's eye-catching home were two old barn houses; one was made into storage of old things and the other one a resting place for a 1974 muscle car. Sadly, the car was neglected, poorly-maintained, unattended despite of its potential value in the market.
Natsume recognized the car from one of Koko's stories wherein Koko's father, many years ago, had a miracle chance of accumulating the car but in the end he held no passion for vintage and decided to hoard it on their old barn. Koko, being in love with cars, claimed the mobile from his father but since the car had been neglected, it transformed from being precious to a piece of work. Koko made time to study about car repair so he could personally redo the muscle car. Natsume knew about it but what he did not know was why the desire to do it personally.
"Koko."
It was enough to make Koko stop on his screwdriver work and raised his head to confirm Natsume's presence. "Natsume, my man. What's up?" Koko failed to sound casual when he blurted the words.
"What are you doing?" Natsume asked, his eyebrows almost met.
With a swift move, Koko threw the rag on the nearest chair and laid the screws on the grass. Half of his attention was still on the mechanical piece of work laid before him. Koko pointed the screwdriver at Natsume but their faces had yet to meet.
"Good question. I am about to get inside my car and start its engine."
"Since when did you start repairing this old guy?" Natsume asked, raising his curiosity out.
Koko only gave a shrug as an answer, giving Natsume a quick smile before sitting on the driver's seat and took a hold on the steering wheel. Koko needed something to wander his mind off, obviously. So, the other day, he asked for help from one of his father's assistants to get the car out of the wooden warehouse and started doing what he could. Koko liked playing mechanic ever since he was little, often participating in his father's car-related errands. The inside was still dirty but Koko wanted to take a rest inside it, made him feel he was in a totally different place.
Heaving a deep breath, Koko attempted to start the engine. He could already hear the noise, making his face lit up only to be left disappointed when the sound died. He moaned out of frustration and buried his face on the steering wheel, thinking about the efforts he put in. A replay of all the study he'd done and help he asked to make the car work looped on his mind.
"Don't play dumb with me, Yome," Natsume said from the window.
Koko faced a dilemma. Should he addressed the car's faultiness or should he answer Natsume first? Then, he realized that 'muscle' was going nowhere while his stoic friend visited him in surprise so he chose the latter. He didn't want a pissed off Natsume because of him. Groaning, Koko decided to get straight to the point to save both of their times.
"This is my problem. I don't want you guys to be involved."
"Then you better be start making sense now to Shouda or else this will really turn into a campus gossip which is not good," Natsume explained.
Koko's eyes traveled to the lake, already feeling the itch his filth caused him. "It already got to that point, huh. I knew that being such an open couple, we attract many eyes, many ears," Koko pondered. With a brief look at the dashboard, he went out of the car and faced Natsume for real this time.
Natsume leaned on the car and so did Koko. A few minutes were wasted just to get Koko into serious mode but Natsume didn't feel the burden. If ever, the Vice Pres felt relieved that he was able to get Koko talking. Giving love advices was never Natsume's thing but then again he was the kind of friend who could also do everything for what it's worth.
"Having issues is normal but it's affecting your girlfriend. Shouda only clings to me when she's giving you space. How can she give you that properly if you don't even give her a proper reason?"
Koko smiled suddenly. "I love it when you're talking so serious to me. Not the usual threatening or snob words. And I am also being serious when I just said that."
Natsume rolled his eyes on that statement. "Tell her. Or then I'll have to force you."
"I don't even know how to start," Koko groaned. He was feeling lost like the leaves of autumn, confused if it would lean on the branch a little longer or just let go to fall on the ground.
"You can start tomorrow. We'll be having a meeting."
Koko panicked. "Oh? When, where, why, and what time?"
"Glassroot's Café at two. Ruka haven't said anything about it yet."
The way Natsume delivered that information sounded so casual as if the meeting was not unscripted and was only made up for the purpose of reuniting one of Alice Academy's popular lovebirds. But Koko's reaction was not favorable, tapping his fingers on the windshield and thinking intently of the possibilities.
"I don't know, Natsume. I think it's still not time."
It was an overused excuse. Natsume heard it numerous times from television series and dramatic movies. Even though Natsume hated that excuse, he could not deny the truth behind it. As much as Natsume wanted to tolerate Koko's hiding, he also did not want to get onto Hotaru Imai's bad side. He was expected to bring Koko to Glassroots no matter how much the resistance would be. Everything on their plan relied on Natsume's convincing powers.
"You're not coming then?" Natsume asked while doing something with his phone.
"Maybe I can be absent just this time," Koko pleaded, worry attached on his face. Then something beeped. "Wait, let me just check my phone. That is my alert tone whenever Hotaru gives me a task beyond my capacity."
"We won't wait for you then," Natsume said, smirking and fully knowing what the text was about.
Koko mouthed the words from the text message then blood drained from his face. He gulped twice before scratching his head. There was a noticeable desire of cursing and resistance but Koko chose to be understanding about Hotaru Imai's demand. Like every member of the Student Council, Koko never dreamt of disappointing their treasurer.
"On second thought, I'll be there."
Natsume smiled. "Okay, good."
His work was done.
Walking slowly only delayed the confrontation and lengthened Koko's travel time. He clutched his denim vest as he crossed the road, already seeing the signboard of his destination. Not a lot of people around since the roads to the café were hardly the busiest ones but the popularity of the place made up for it during weekdays. Glassroots was one of the favorite meeting places of the Student Council members. Officers way back early 2000 were already enjoying its learning-conducive setting and design. Koko was friends with Ruka for years but he only discovered that the President's family owned the famous café.
Faithful to its name, Glassroots's design was a combination of different cool colors of glass that were praised to be pleasing in the eyes and a forest-like theme inside. Koko could already see the red, silver, and green hue of the structure of the café. The synthetic vines surrounding the door made Koko wonder how long it was since he last visited Glassroots because he remembered only a transparent, plain door with no decoration at all. That was only the time that Koko noticed the lack of customers and the absence of most of the SC members. He could only see Anna reading a book covered with velvet pink and it had no title. No barista on the counter and the noticeable deficiency of pastry products to chose from. The mahogany chairs and tables looked squeaky clean, untouched, and had no mark of having been used for that day.
After fully entering Glassroots, Koko only made two steps away from the door. He was almost sure that a conspiracy was on the process and in case he had to escape, he should be nearest at the door. If his friend did conspire against him then he would have to think of a contingency plan pronto but Anna's acting distracted him from it. The good girl Anna waved at him so in result, he walked towards her.
"Where is everybody? It's almost empty here that it's creeping me out."
"Koko," Hotaru muttered behind Koko.
"Waah!" Koko yelled, clutching his chest out of surprise. "Oh my gosh, you scared me. You're early, Hotaru!"
Hotaru almost laughed at his innocent sentences but she knew that Koko was only playing around. She noticed that Koko was making his moves to access the nearest exit already. Glassroots had a total of four exits plus the fire exit so Koko had many choices but the thing was, it was scraped from him. All doors were guarded by an auto-lock that in just one press, he had nowhere to run. Well, Hotaru made sure he had nowhere to run for this plan to have fruitful results.
Then, it was time for Sumire's grand entrance.
"No, you're just stupid if you haven't figured out yet that we only set you up. We need to talk."
She wore a denim skinny jeans and plain white V-neck tee. Sumire chose the most comfortable clothes she could wear in case a situation called her to chase someone. Her entrance signaled Hotaru and Anna's departure, leaving the couple alone on the empty and quiet café. For a good ten seconds, the couple stared at each other, eye to eye. Both of their expressions were firm as if no one wanted to lose the game.
"I have to go," Koko bellowed. It was evident on his facial features that every moment of this irritated him. On that movement he made, Hotaru activated the auto-lock of the doors.
Sumire was calm, her poker face on. She had a different expression compared to the desperate and worried façade she displayed on school. With her friends finally helping her to mend things with Koko, she somehow gained the confidence and bravery to say what she had to say. When Koko attempted to turn his back on her, Sumire was quick to grab him by the shoulders to make him face her. It seemed like Sumire's patience was gradually breaking into fragments. More rejecting acts from Koko and Sumire would have really lost it.
"No, you're not. You have nothing better to do so you're gonna stay there. You will take a seat then begin telling me what's going on, answer my every question, and end this rift."
There was authority in her tone. She did not shout nor sneer but Koko could feel the equal irritation on Sumire's voice. No hint of sweetness in her tone which astonished Koko. No sign of her caring attitude and teasing mood. Koko shut his eyes and made a hard fist. He could not believe that he prolonged this spectacle. All the while he thought he was taking his time, not thinking of Sumire's own tempo in life.
"Did you involve everyone in this antic?" Koko mocked. He thought that it was a good way to astound Sumire.
Sumire only looked away and answered his question frankly. "If it makes you feel better, this is their idea, not mine."
A brief disbelief clouded Koko's thoughts and he almost thought that Sumire was lying because Natsume was not the kind of guy who would be involved in this kind of setup. He did not know what stories Sumire told them but he ought not to get caught with their trap. Koko wanted to smack himself in the abdomen. Why did he think of such thing? They were his friends and not some people he just knew about and yet he thought they were ganging up on him.
"I'm completely trapped in here," Koko said with so much emotion, making it obvious that he was not only pertaining to the doors being locked.
Koko's friends might not even recognize that it was him who said that heartbreaking line. Even Sumire was halted by the statement, finding it hard to believe that Koko seemed to be carrying a heavy emotional baggage. When did this even start? Surely, even before Yuu's mom died.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Sumire bawled.
"Don't you think you're a bit overboard?" Koko replied, avoiding the question. He began movement by walking in circles throughout Glassroots.
Sumire walked violent to him, pushing him a little. "Stop changing the topic! Just freaking answer me!"
Koko caged Sumire's hands with his but the girl kept struggling. "Do you really want to know?" he asked, half-screaming, afraid that he would scare Sumire completely.
Finally, calmness enveloped Sumire's nature. She stopped struggling before pulling her hands out of Koko's grasp. She just noticed it but her breathing was uneven, rapid, and then she felt warm under her eyes. Sumire was crying. She rapidly found a seat and a table to lean her elbows. Even if Koko completely witnessed her crying state, Sumire chose to be subtle on wiping her tears. Using her left hand as support for her forehead and while looking down, Sumire directed herself to stop crying and wiped the tears that already escaped her puffy eyes.
Sumire looked up with a clearer face. "Of course. That's the reason why I'm here, doing this."
Koko made an effort to trim their distance. He certainly did not expect Sumire to cry this early. They barely had anything to talk. "I need you to stay away from me because the more we are together, the more I question if this relationship is going to last."
"You think this is going nowhere?" Sumire asked bitterly.
"I think I'm confused. Okay? You started that silly bucket list with me on every single item. How does that make me feel? It's not even a bucket list. It's your future plans!"
Sumire giggled sourly, like she wanted to barf. It really caught her off guard to found out that this was just only because of a bucket list. "I don't know. Happy, perhaps? Didn't you feel secured on our relationship when I did that? You are in my every dream. Included in everything I want to do with my life. Don't you find that sweet?"
Koko scratched his head before taking the seat parallel to his girlfriend. "Exactly! I am always there. Don't you want to do something for yourself without me? Don't you want your privacy? I am too pressured with this. I don't know if I can handle being you boyfriend much longer. You dreamt of the future with me in it. I don't even think about the future. I don't even know if we're still in good terms five or ten years from now."
Doubts. Trust issues. Long distance. Being too opposite. Cheating. These were some of the reasons why couples break up, separate, or divorce. But, Koko and Sumire's reason was different. It was simply the imbalance of affection. Sumire's love for Koko was greater than Koko's feelings for her. Funny, Sumire was so sure that Koko adored her more and now what happened. She would always brag about Koko's sweetness and effort to live up with her expectations. Little did she know that Koko struggled all throughout.
"Are you falling out of love?" Sumire finally asked. It was the question she wanted to ask him long before.
Koko shed a tear before facing her. "Do you girls call it that?" he asked mockingly as if the words tasted so foul in his mouth that he could not wait to spit it out.
Sumire hit the table with so much strength, causing redness on her knuckles. "Only because of that bucket list? You could have said so."
"No! It was way before that. Sumire, you make plans too incredible for me. Can I keep up with you? You got everything figured out while I struggle and then my only way of release is to joke about it," Koko went close to her but avoided her melancholic gaze. "I don't know if I still have the same feelings for you compared to the first time I said I love you."
Sumire held back a sob, covering her damped face with her hand. Today was supposed to be their make up, not their break up. She then started looking around for her friends so it would be easier to get their attention in case she would fire the signal for everything to stop.
"Is telling me that hard? All you had to do was say something."
Koko clutched his chest to the point it messed his clothing. The longer the talked happened, the more hurtful it was for him. Maybe because he vented out all this frustrations since childhood and this was the first time someone actually saw his pathetic and dramatic side. Koko avoided crying at all cost. After that one spill of tear, he conditioned his mind to not display such sign of misery.
"My parents are highly-successful. I could manipulate anyone just by dropping their names. My father pressures me into following their footsteps. I have enough of this at home but I can't tell them no because it'll break their heart and dreams. They will break me. The same goes to you. You can't expect me to be superman when I'm just a weakling."
Koko did not even stop there. "When I was six, the teacher asked us to write a line on what would we want to become in the future. I wrote there 'To become a pianist'. Not because I really wanted to but because I kept hearing it and I thought it was cool. I'm six and that's a very irrelevant question at that time so who would take it seriously, huh? Well, surprise, surprise, I was punished for it. My Dad gave a one-hour lecture, telling me to focus on their plans for me because they knew better. I did not complain. I knew that time they knew better. Then I turned 14 and I already knew what I want. I gave them hints through jokes and they would debunk it through their formal talks. As if I am a freakin client!"
"Then why didn't you talked to them seriously? Maybe that's the way," Sumire interjected.
"I may be joking but I'm still serious and they know that!" Koko yelled, losing his composure but snapped out of it immediately. "Sorry. I did not mean to raise my voice. Sumire, I have dreams that I expressed to them. It's better than not saying anything, right? But, voicing out did not make my situation any better. They even prohibited me from buying any musical instrument when that pianist thing was just a case of writing anything you thought cool that time."
So, Koko was not all comic and jokes. He had a responsibility to large for him behind his back and the bad thing was he didn't like his future to be decided by his parents. He did not want comparisons and yet could not avoid it. He thought that Sumire would continue with their relationship's happy-go-lucky pace and then Yuu's mother died, sending a big realization message to Sumire. On her bucket list, they would go to a prestigious university together, work for a degree that would be adored by society, be the company's top employees, take over the world, aim for higher education, and build a family that the world would be envious of.
Too astonished by it, Koko perceived Sumire was planning for his future also. Forget the term bucket list, it was really a list of goals that he had no plans of attaining. Koko noticed that the people he loved trust him too much even when he didn't show any indication that he would be someone prominent in society when the day comes.
"Oh, you stupid Koko. I'm different from them. I won't ask you to do anything that you don't wanna do."
Koko shook his head. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to think this over and over again. I need my time, my space, my own life back. Those are beautiful dreams, Sumire. I just don't think I can be part of it. It's just that I am a coward, you know? You don't deserve this coward."
"Where are you going?" Sumire asked, her heart rate shoot up when she saw Koko making his way to the door. "Koko, wait!" she yelled.
The boy was already holding Glassroots's fine chair. Koko lifted the chair above his head, aiming to hit the door with it.
"Open this, guys! I am not joking. Open this or else I'll really break this glass door."
Anna was terrified at the violence Koko was about to do. She had not expected for things to happen like this. She made signals to the boys to think of a way to stop Koko since a damaged property would be a big problem. They would never hear the end of it from Ruka who seldom lost his temper.
Sumire ran for Koko, hugged him tightly from the back, her head buried on his shirt. It was clear that she was stopping him. "Is there's still hope for us? Should I wait for you 'till you get better?" was Sumire's desperate plea.
"I don't know, Sumire. I'm sorry. I honestly can't give you an answer. But, please, let me go."
"I just want you to know that I still love you. If that can still make a difference." Sumire then turned her head to the side, tears flowed like rain. "You can shut the auto-lock now, guys. It's okay already."
Koko ran. And when he did, it's like the world slowed down for a second for everyone inside Glassroots to really feel Koko's dramatic exit.
"That was not the expected outcome, wasn't it?" Nonoko asked to Anna.
It was quiet like a summer afternoon. No one expected that things would turn out to be that dramatic, like they witnessed a heavy drama movie coming out of life. Anna had nothing to reply to Nonoko but she made a quick run for Sumire who broke down to her knees. Ruka then approached Hotaru who had a very worried look. Sure, Koko's threat of destroying the glass door terrified Ruka but to actually hear Koko's emotional baggage and how he concealed it for years alarmed Ruka more.
"Looks are really deceiving," Ruka mumbled gruffly.
"I don't think Yome wants to deceive us," Hotaru replied.
"What do you mean?"
Hotaru shrugged her shoulders, her eyes stuck on the door where Koko exited. "I mean he is Koko. He is naturally goofy. We all have burdens, problems, issues. It's just that we have a unique way of dealing with it. It's not hiding or a way of concealing it to avoid the trouble. Who would want to spend his life thinking about depressing things every second, right?"
End of Chapter
Oh, too much drama. Anyways, the future chapters won't be dramatic. It's good to enjoy the story of each character after all. Thank you for reading this chapter! *smiles*