Something You've Read Before
Chapter Seventeen
Do not Burn Bridges
After the meeting with the Student Council officers, Ruka went straight to one of Alice Academy's isolated places: the rooftop. He opened the door and it was the golden light of the sun that welcomed him. Ruka took his phone from his satchel bag and dialed Mikan's number. No one answered but he heard another phone's ring from a distant. He searched where the sound came and saw a Mikan Sakura directly staring at him with a beam on her face. Ruka wanted to pretend that he was clueless on the purpose of this meeting but he knew that Mikan had a clear idea of everything. He was nervous and excited at the same time. These emotions often mixed in his heart whenever a big change was about to conquer his stable life. This happened when he won president of the council, when he confessed to the very first girl he liked, when he threw a punch at Natsume in front of the school gate, when he met Hotaru Imai.
"Are you really out here to kill me?"
Mikan shrugged her shoulders. "That and I have a few statements to make."
"Me too."
Mikan took a few steps forward. She knew that Ruka had the tendency to stay where he was. She took a deep breath, gazing at the sun before uttering, "First, I have a crush on you. Just letting you know if you don't already know."
"I kinda noticed that," Ruka admitted coyly. He was taken aback on how casual Mikan dropped that revelation. It just meant one thing, Ruka thought.
Mikan sat on the old bleachers which faced West, just perfect to watch the sun set. She tapped the seat beside her and Ruka did what he was nonverbally told. "I was never active in extra-curricular activities, Ruka. I don't exist much in this school, you see. Joining any club was far from my priority to the point my Dad always nagged me because of it but I joined one. Because of you."
Freshman year was full of heartaches for Mikan. That year, she nursed her aching heart and built confidence from the dust. Never it did become easy for her to be normal and just mingle with her classmates. The changes overwhelmed her and found it hard to focus one thing at a time. She remembered Narumi's desperate pleads for her to explore the world more and be open to people. It was scary for her because she believed the people closed to her always disappeared in an instant and if not, would just try to hurt her. Mikan kept her friends to a minimum until she found interest to a person who was out of her circle and that was Ruka Nogi.
"That's flattering to hear. I didn't know someone could put so much effort on me."
Ruka only saw her with Hotaru Imai a couple of times but it did not cross his mind that they would be working with each other, more so became friends. When they met the day Natsume outright insulted her for blocking the road, it was only the time her face registered on his mind.
"You deserved the attention. I finally got to know you, be friends with you, and I know that you like Hotaru. It must be awkward for you."
Ruka almost choked. "When did you know?"
Mikan thought hard about the question, recalling her memories. "Long before. Was it in Glassroots? Or the school festival?"
He only ran a hand on his face, mumbling, "God, I must have looked like a fool."
Mikan giggled, shrugged her shoulders. "Sort of. Knowing Hotaru, she must have an idea about it, too."
Hotaru Imai might be the Ice Queen but she was never the numb one. Knowing how much of an observer she was, it might not took long before she noticed Ruka's meaningful stares and buckling words whenever they talked. Ruka was not the one to hide it, though. In fact, he couldn't wait for the world to know. It was just that the timing should be perfect. Was he ready for a relationship? How about Hotaru, would she want it? There were a lot of things to consider, not just his feelings.
"I'm sorry to hurt your feelings."
Mikan shook her head. "Don't be. I think our friendship is strong enough to withstand this. I cannot tell if she likes you like that but you are interesting enough for her to be jealous."
"Hotaru Imai? Jealous?" Ruka placed full disbelief in that statement.
"I know her that much. Also, I realized that my admiration for you is for your good deeds and personality. It will always be there, maybe at the back of my mind."
Mikan did not go as far as imagining what would life be with Ruka Nogi. She was trapped at the present, thinking that it was nice dancing with him, that talking to him felt so featherlight, that he looked so responsible during Arts & Media Week and it all remained in that. She did not look far ahead, a sign that her feelings was just a simple admiration gone a bit overboard. Ruka was a friend she never thought she needed.
"You don't feel that anymore because you like someone else," Ruka concluded.
Mikan bit her lip. It was her time to be cautious. "I'm not sure about that."
"If that person ever confuses you, you can ask me about anything." Ruka talked as if he knew the person.
"Whoever are you talking about?" Mikan asked innocently even if a person already came into her thoughts.
Ruka let it slid. There was no point in knowing who changed her mind at this time because she would be secretive about it. What was important now was that they finally revealed the unspoken truths that carried their relationship. They both came clean with each other's emotions and both were glad that no one was hurt. Ruka felt as if a big torn was taken out from his heart. He could not helped it but he sighed out of ease. Now, all left was for him to face his true feelings and just say it.
"To tell you the truth, I cannot establish my feelings for her, yet. I am amazed by her presence that I find it hard to blurt out words that I really wanted to say."
"Hotaru does give that vibe. I'll help you, too. When the time comes for you to tell the way you feel, I'll help."
Ruka felt an urge to grab the offer. "That's reassuring, Mikan."
No fast food restaurant in Tokyo was not busy. They ran for 24 hours and catered to hundreds of customers per shift. Customers only stayed for a quick drink or a bite of that burger and they would leave, onto their next destination. Tables and chairs were always available as they were barely taken. Fast food restaurants were the choices of students when they ached for something non-Japanese. The saltiness and oiliness of the food eased their satiety. Also, it was cheaper than any locally made food. That was why Subaru thought of a wonderful idea: Lunch with Hotaru and Mikan at McDonald's. The atmosphere was not foreign and no one would dare to eavesdrop.
"When Hotaru told me the fantastic news, I couldn't help but set this meeting up," Subaru explained while mixing his sundae.
Mikan just stared at him, unwrapping her own burger. "I thought you came back to Akita already."
The doctor's schedule seemed to be not busy at all. Mikan found it fishy that he was still here after his services for Alice Academy was no longer needed.
Subaru raised a finger to stop Mikan from accusing him some more. "Next week, I will. I just extended my leave for this and this is not a leave because I have an actual patient. Wow! Mikan, you're coming to this school trip. Congratulations."
Mikan glanced at Hotaru who was busy with her food. Trust Hotaru to report everything to her brother. Maybe it became a habit because Subaru's eyes when it came to Mikan was his sister. No one did the job better than her. Mikan found ill intentions on Subaru's statement like always. She did not know why despite the questions inside her head, she still trusted Subaru with her mental health. She must really be mental.
"Is it really proper to talk about it in a fast food?" Mikan asked, feeling awkward already.
Hotaru took a sip from her Pepsi. "This brother of mine thinks that the environment will make you feel more comfortable."
"Feels far from that when you're here and I should say goodbye to patient privacy," Mikan mumbled.
The reaction was very familiar to Subaru. He understood Mikan's sentiments because in the past, he did played a few tricks on her, tried everything just to brought her back. He was used to running circles when it came to her and this was how he learned the virtue of patience. Years passed and Mikan was still hard-headed. Some things never changed. He had yet to give a verdict of aging made them both mature.
"You were never fond of me but admit that I'm a big help to you," Subaru said proudly.
"What changed your mind, Mikan?" It was Hotaru's question.
Mikan gazed the siblings first before answering the question. "Well, after countless questions on why I am not coming, I think it's better to face it rather than run from it."
"Good," Hotaru said. It was her original idea to go to the beach this year.
But, Subaru was over excited sometimes. "This is more than good!" he exclaimed, earning stares from the people lined up at the cashier but paid no mind about it, "Tell me how you feel about this improvement," he continued.
"For starters, I am scared. You see, simply thinking about going to beach, seeing the actual sea, getting by on the roads, these are scary things for me, Doctor. I have many what ifs in my mind. What if I chicken out and vomit? What if my hands shake? What if I cry nonstop? What if I hate it and conclude that it's not worth everything that I don't have today?"
Subaru nodded on every word she said, knowing fully about Mikan's fears. Hotaru, on the other hand, listened carefully. Behind Mikan's smiles were anxieties and not everybody knew that. If they only knew they would treat her differently and that was not what Mikan wanted.
"I can see your dilemma. For normal people, the sea is a source of fun and adventure. One can discover a lot just by being with the ocean. For you, it may be a lot different but always have in mind that you can have a discovery by yourself, too. When anxiety kicks in, call me. I already told Hotaru what to do."
Mikan snatched Subaru's sundae much to his dismay. "Okay, that's more encouraging. By the way, I asked a classmate to drive me home if things get bitter."
Another progress to the story. Subaru felt like reaching for the stars and thanked the heavens above. He was impressed by a mile with Mikan's openness to everyone. He warned her before to choose her friends and he hoped she was doing exactly that. Subaru's mind went back to the times when Mikan was brought by Narumi on a rainy day six years ago. The rain, for Mikan, had the same meaning as snow and it was not a good one. The brunette was in her schoolyears back then, wailing in tears and covered in mud. Narumi had no idea how to calm her down so he just went to the facility without calling beforehand. Subaru was in the middle of critiquing an intern's report for the day. Narumi cried in anguish after Mikan was put to sleep. She did not require chemical restraints before but at times when she felt the lowest, it became a prescription.
Now, Subaru saw a strong aura in Mikan. No trace of tragedy in her smiles, a taint of sadness in her eyes was visible every now and then but he doubted if others discerned it. He rejected strongly Narumi's idea of transferring Mikan to Tokyo when he got a new job in Alice Academy but it appeared like the best idea yet.
"You told someone your trauma, Mikan? And you agreed to ride an automobile?" he restated in his understanding.
"Not in detail and I trust his driving skills. I don't know." It was also not clear to Mikan but she knew where to put her trust.
Subaru was curious. "May I know who's this we are talking about?"
"Natsume from Student Council. Remember him?"
Subaru tried to remember the familiar name until a face registered in his mind. "Oh! I know. The boy with black hair whose eyes could pierce a lung."
Mikan giggled at the description. "He's my newfound friend," she informed.
"Is he different from the boy we talked about before?"
"Who, Ruka Nogi? I told him fully the way I feel and I realized that I don't like him like that. My assumption is correct because he has a girl on his mind and he seems to like her for a long time already," Mikan stated casually, eyeing Hotaru.
"That's interesting."
Subaru almost forgot that his patient seven years ago was now 16 years old.
Hotaru hit her brother in the head. It was obvious that he was feeling proud of himself, to be a part of Mikan's healing process that he looked stupid in front of his own patient in a public place. They finished their meal and left McDonald's hectic atmosphere. Subaru bid his goodbye and the remaining pair went on for a walk. They had been both busy with school works and personal affairs. Hotaru was aware that she barely had a serious talk with Mikan that didn't end up in an argument lately. Still, they were the kind of friends who didn't need words to convey their messages. Mikan and Hotaru already had a special bond that no one could match.
"I know it's therapeutic for you to talk about your personal experiences to others but tell me things sometimes," Hotaru began saying.
This feeling was not jealousy more like missing her best friend. Hotaru knew that she could help more if she was informed on what happened. There were lots of ways to acquire data and it was easy when it came to Mikan whom she knew every move and every history but it made a lot of difference if the story came from Mikan herself. Hotaru noted that Natsume Hyuuga's presence made a positive outcome to the brunette and her discovery of different personalities within the school boosted her skills to adapt in situations, for those Hotaru was glad but it meant that Mikan's time was shared now.
"I am sorry if you feel like I'm neglecting our friendship. If you would review it, we always ended up almost arguing in our every conversation."
"You don't know how relieve I am to see that you are having fun," Hotaru admitted.
Having doubts at first was normal. Hotaru had full faith in Mikan but she had second thoughts on the people around her. She tried to change Mikan's mind a lot of times but the brunette never listened and that was independency right there. It never felt like Mikan going away from her but more like Mikan rediscovering her strengths, that she could stand alone again. Hotaru stopped on her tracks as if to make way for those people who were walking faster. Mikan also refrained from walking and let out a laugh.
"Thanks, Hotaru. May we have the best time in Shirahama," Mikan cheerfully remarked until she recalled something, "Can you promise me one thing, my super best friend in the whole wide world?"
Mikan's sudden action of cuteness disgusted Hotaru although she was used to this. "And what's that, idiot?"
It took a long pause before Mikan said what was on her mind. "When someone reveals their feelings to you, don't be so intimidating."
Hotaru's face turned to a grim one. She had a bad feeling about this. "What are you up to?" the Ice Queen quickly accused.
"Nothing," Mikan lied at first.
Hotaru almost snickered at the lie. "Is that why you're going?"
Mikan's chest tightened with worry that her best friend would shout at her for being a nuisance. "What? I already told you the reason."
"Don't get ahead of my feelings, Mikan."
For Hotaru Imai, pacing was important. It did not matter if others had success first, for her, she had her own time. The only opinion which mattered to her was the opinion of her family and when it didn't sound right, next important opinion came from close friends. Hotaru did not want Mikan to interfere with her situation because there was no call for help. It was also very personal.
Mikan felt guilty instantly. "I have a tendency to do that, don't I? Hotaru, tell me not to do it and I won't. Tell me it's an awful plan and I will stop it. But, if you think that this might make you comprehend your feelings, then don't stop me."
"I am aggravated right now but I couldn't afford to get angry at you," Hotaru spat.
The smiling and carefree façade of Mikan Sakura vanished and turned into regret. Mikan knew she went out of line. She should not have mentioned it. "I am not supposed to give you a hint but I imagined that you are the type to know everything and before we get there, you will caught us on act. As early as now, please, just consider."
Hotaru failed to understood Mikan's perception. "I don't need help," she insisted.
"I also hate my hero complex sometimes, Hotaru. I thought at least I'll spare you of this habit but maybe I can with you, but I cannot with other people," Mikan explained with trembling voice. It was a fear of her that this conversation ended up in a quarrel again.
"What do you get from this? This will only hurt you," Hotaru warned. "People will just disappoint you again, Mikan. It won't be pretty. You cannot tell everyone that it's okay and when they believed you and they failed, they will get back to you."
"I'll be fine. Believe in me," Mikan said in finality.
No longer they were in the middle of the busy streets of Tokyo. They were back to that winter time in Akita seven years ago; the first time they met. Mikan saw a gaze colder than the snow storm outside but nothing topped her frozen heart. It was the sister of her attending physician whose name was Hotaru Imai, assigned as her buddy. Hotaru observed her with accuracy and her reports were detailed, far advanced from her age of eight. Getting to the bottom of everything was indeed Hotaru's expertise. Play was not their language and instead spoke in truths. Hotaru never hid the fact that she was annoyed at Mikan's emotional instability and inclination to put the blame on her. Mikan struggled with it for years and she still kept that, only learning when and where to reveal her reactions. The brunette also kept saying to Hotaru that being nonchalant didn't equal strength.
Hotaru poked Mikan's forehead to which the brunette yelped in pain.
"You cannot really outgrown stupidity, I see."
Everyone took their assigned seats and opened the folder which contained the final plan for the school trip. Yura served tea and cookies much to everyone's delight. Koko already grabbed Sumire's share of cookie which made her pinch his cheeks for being a glutton. Beside them was Hotaru with her calculator and Budget Logbook and seeing that Koko faked a cough, pretending to look prepared as the auditor of the team. Meanwhile, Ruka signaled everyone to calm down, frustrated on why their small group could be so raucous.
Natsume stood up and everyone else went silent. He turned the page on the report, examining it for a bit. "The meeting will now commence and will be all about the final plans for the Shirahama Trip, any plan B, accommodation and food, planned activities and facilitators, transportation, budget and expenses, safety, and the current feedback."
"Let's start with that one. How is the public opinion for this trip so far?" Ruka asked, thankful that Natsume's menacing sound placed them in their best behavior. When he saw a hand, he called, "Yes, Yura?"
"Less issues this year due to more students joining but clubs like the Sports Club had always something to say," Yura stated.
"Like what?" was Ruka's follow-up question.
Yura did not hesitate a bit when she said, "That this only shows that the academy favors students who are related to the board members."
All of them had the same reaction and it was annoyance. Everything they did since the school year started was always tarnished with an allegation that the school favored them so much because they were sons and daughters of the most influential board members of Alice Academy when in reality, their parents barely cared about trivial happenings of the school.
Koko grunted. "A&M Week, school trip, the election, what else? They always find something to say."
Ruka understood the frustration of each one. He was the main figure of this council and whatever others said about their projects, good or bad, reflected on him. "How can we make it clear to them that this is purely non-political?"
"They won't buy that, Nogi," Hotaru blurted, eyeing everyone who dared to counteract what she said but no one did.
"Because that is half-true. Let's admit it," Sumire agreed, "I don't mean to offend you, Natsume, Ruka, Koko darling, but that might be the number one thing that gets in their silly minds. Again, no offense to all of you."
"None taken," Natsume immediately clarified, "I doubt Kaoru even knows. She is not known to decide on minor things like this."
There was a brief silence before everyone looked at Ruka who had the last say. He realized that this was not really a major issue and they easily could survive it. Based on everyone's opinion, no bribery was done and that meant the conscience of the council was clear and so were their intentions. A decision was unclear at the moment and maybe it was because this was not really what they were there for. It was not their job to addressed the insecurities of others. If they stuck to their agenda, they were not the wrong side.
"Do we address the issue?" Yura asked the question that was on everyone's mind.
Ruka's voice was firm and final when he said, "I say let it be. If they cause trouble, they'll answer to us directly. Next year, we can revise this form of reward into something that can reach the general audience." He gave a look to Natsume whom he hoped will receive the responsibility.
"Okay. That is somehow comforting," Sumire commented.
After that, all the council officers paid attention to the report in front of them. It was time to get serious and discuss the outline of their meeting. They held a total of three meetings, including this one, for this Shirahama School Trip. They barely had a rest after that Arts & Media Week but their motivation was renewed every time they accomplished something together. It was always fun working with each other and being friends despite coming from different classes helped enormously in their harmonious relationship.
"I hope those who are assigned to document the event will ever be present because those photos are important," Ruka reminded. They needed to present a report of the trip to their adviser and principal when everything was finished.
"Roger!" Yura cheerfully reacted.
Natsume turned to the next page of the report and saw tables of the budget allocation. There were still red marks which meant only an estimated budget. "Any problem with our expenses? There are still unfinished calculations here," he asked, eyeing Hotaru.
Hotaru nodded, always ready to enlighten anyone who had questions. "We will pay the hotel in full when we get there. Total of four students are allowed per room. No mix of boys and girls. Food provided by the hotel will be breakfast and lunch only. Students will handle dinner expenses. A budget per head was agreed by the academy and the council on a coordination meeting held on Wednesday, two weeks ago. We are allowed to use the front beach for recreational purposes but only for a specific time: 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. for morning session, 2 p.m.- 4 p.m. for the afternoon session. As for the activities, Shouda and Umenomiya are the assigned members."
"Everyone please turn to page three and you will see the list of final games and activities," Sumire commenced her part of the report, "All activities will be done on the first day. Groups will be divided into four. As per the waivers, we are expecting 50 students to join. Every group should have a leader and a name."
"Mini obstacle course, beach volleyball, treasure hunting, and open mic at the hotel's hall in the evening," Ruka said out loud.
"It was the result of the mini survey I've done with the seniors last week," Sumire defended the list and with that no one disagreed, "Prizes will be in the form of gift certificates. Monetary not allowed. We rented one tour bus for this event so we will be in one mode of transportation only. Confirmation was done this morning. We should reach Shirahama by eight in the morning so travel starts at four. Meanwhile, check-out is at 12 noon so by 1 p.m. we should be on the road and reach Tokyo before 5 p.m."
Ruka examined the activities and thought of the safety of the games. Any injury should be addressed immediately if not prevented. "How about a first aid team?"
"The hotel is equipped with lifeguards, nurses, and on-call doctors," Natsume said with much confidence.
"And the nearest hospital? In case there's a box jellyfish out there!" Koko yelled in fear which earned him a crumpled paper thrown at his face courtesy of Natsume.
Sumire rolled her eyes, annoyed at the silliness of Koko's worries. "Geez. Calm down, Koko. It's just two kilometers from the hotel and it is a 200 bed capacity hospital so it is safe to say that they are equipped with the right facilities to accommodate us. Coordination with the hospital was also done. A communication letter was already sent."
"Thank God!" Koko heaved a deep sigh.
Ruka was satisfied at everyone's report, proud they did their part and delivered more than what was expected of them. "I think we covered everything. Great job everyone. All there's left is for weekend to come. Any other questions? Clarifications?" Ruka waited for their response but everyone looked satisfied and no one said a word, "None? Okay. Meeting adjourned."
And that was music to their ears because it is almost seven in the evening.
Narumi laughed hysterically at the newest gag show on the primetime slot. They just finished dinner and while he sipped his tea, Mikan washed the dishes. Narumi tried to accomplish his lesson plan while half of his attention was on the television. He heard Mikan telling stories about school which only passed his hearing. Not only school papers laid on the table but also non-Alice Academy commitment papers. His tongue burnt from sipping the tea straight and finally focused on his work. He arranged everything by its category and found a familiar template.
"Oh? What's this? Mikan?" Narumi called out.
Mikan turned her head and closed the dishwasher, drying her hands with the apron. "I need you to sign that for our trip this weekend," she narrated and took a seat beside her father.
Narumi read the waiver promptly. "The one that's going to be held in Shirahama?" he asked, "Are you sure?"
It was confidence that Narumi wanted to see from his daughter. He knew very well why this was such a leap on Mikan's current mental health and all he wanted to do was support her. Mikan bit her lip, nodding slowly. Narumi saw firmness in her auburn eyes and if she already made a decision, it was also his decision.
"Yes, Daddy. I've thought long and hard about it."
Narumi opened his arms to hug his daughter and Mikan followed. "I am happy on the choice that you made, Mikan."
"Thanks," Mikan replied and buried her head into Narumi's chest.
Narumi caressed his daughter's head, looking at the calendar. He frowned a bit with the discovery. "But, Mom is coming this weekend? Did it skip your mind?"
"Oh," Mikan was speechless. "I totally forgot about it."
By Mom, Narumi meant Serina, his longtime fiancée. It was his suggestion for Mikan to call Serina that because he thought it would lessen the distance between them. Mikan had a complicated relationship with her family members and that included her soon-to-be mother, Serina Yamada. People kind of concluded that Serina had Mikan out of wedlock when that was not the case at all. Serina treated Mikan and Narumi differently in which she showed love for the latter. They met a long time ago and after a few attempts of gaining her favor, Mikan failed. She was very much aware of the reason. Who wanted to be second priority? Serina became like that when Mikan came into Narumi's life and until now, no matter how Mikan tried to convince her Dad otherwise, she was still his top priority.
Narumi met Serina in their undergraduate studies as classmates on several minors. When Narumi pursued teaching, Serina exceled in research specifically in medicine. They were both employed by Alice Academy on their early years to perform distinctive tasks. Narumi was already a vigorous English teacher back in the days while Serina spearheaded the academy's herbal medicine project that was the basis of the research of the Special Science Class students. Being an expert in her field, Serina changed jobs and gained entrance to one of Japan's top pharmaceutical company whose clients were hospitals and governments all over the world. Not long after when she traveled overseas for a training, a convention or an introduction of their newest results until it became a permanent thing. Narumi was left in Alice Academy but enjoyed every bit of it. He proposed to Serina before she was transferred to the headquarters in Germany with an agreement that they will both visit each other's countries twice a year.
They both agreed to wed on the following year of the proposal but winter came and the big change happened. When the plans were formally revised, Serina went on to follow her dream and still true to her word to visit Japan twice a year. This had happened for many years now. Narumi never went to Germany much to Serina's dismay but her love for him made up for that. According to Narumi, he had to save money for their wedding which was scheduled next year and that was why Serina came to town to arrange everything.
"That's why I am not going to supervise it this year and asked Nodacchi-sensei instead." There was a tone of regret in Narumi's voice.
It was also important to Mikan, her father's wedding, and she was more than delighted for it to be finally happening but did her mind intentionally forget it? Maybe because it caused her stress. The mere fact that her Dad would not be spending all his time to her now. She feared to be forgotten and the chances of happening that when Narumi started his own family was high to the roof. Mikan resisted the change and acted supportive instead but she was petrified. Narumi promise that nothing would change but how true was that promise? Even so, it was easy to be happy at the same time for the people you cherished.
"When will she arrive?" Mikan asked quietly.
"Friday morning and will be spending two weeks with us," Narumi answered after double checking the flight itinerary in his phone, "We will be meeting with the gown designer on Saturday. I thought we can ask for your opinion and take your measurements for the dress. I'm sorry I didn't mention it the past weeks. It's just I thought you weren't going to come and it's the only date available."
Narumi did not mention it much because Mikan was not comfortable with the subject of Serina. He was not blind not to see the barrier between her daughter and fiancée.
"I understand, Dad. I'm sorry that it skipped my mind. I should have known better," Mikan apologized and tried to think of a way, "Can we just do it on Friday afternoon? I want to be present on both occasions."
Narumi hesitated a bit. "I'll ask Serina about it."
Mikan lips thinned. "Thanks."
An overseas call was made and Mikan prayed for forgiveness from Serina. She destroyed the plans once again and Mikan took advantage of the fact that Narumi wouldn't say no. She wanted to show support to her father and she desired to be present at the school trip. She made it in both because one had to adjust. The school trip would never adjust for her so that idea was immediately crossed out in her mind and the next best thing she did was to tire her soon-to-be mother out. It took lots of guts and heart to asked of that to Narumi.
"Good then! I can't wait to see you!" Narumi cheered at the phone, "Mikan has a school trip which is a milestone for her. I hope you understand this, hon. Thank you. You're the best. Take care always. I love you."
Mikan noted the tenderness in Narumi's voice that proved his undying love for Serina. She caught them in their sweet moments, a rarity for other couples in long term relationships. Serina treated her bad but she was caring to Narumi. It always made Mikan felt guilty on how she snatched all Serina's dreams from her and the least she could do was not to be a hindrance again. Serina might be screaming after that phone call due to another change of plans but Mikan was left with no choice.
"Did she agree?"
Narumi's face was emotionless for a second until he smiled and returned to his jolly self. "Friday afternoon it is. After school, go to this address."
Mikan twirled in relief and grabbed the business card. "I promise I won't hassle you and Mom anymore," she declared.
Narumi was sad to hear that from Mikan, knowing she thought of that all this time. "Oh, my dear daughter. I understand your desire to go the school trip. I must say I am proud of you for making that decision. Was it the one bothering you the other day?"
"I just don't want you to worry."
It was a battle for Narumi to make Mikan believe that she was not an extra baggage or a handicap in anyone's life. No one deserved to be treated that way and Narumi did his best to make Mikan think otherwise. He was the happiest to had her as a daughter no matter what circumstance brought them together. But, there were things that were etched in someone's heart and it took a lot of time to heal. That was the case for Mikan.
"Nonsense, my dearest daughter. I will always worry about you. Don't try to take everything by yourself."
Mikan nodded. "In my defense, I did ask some friends for advice."
Narumi felt little relief but still smiled when he said, "Good to know."
Narumi only hoped that one day Mikan would know her worth and it should not be a task to be accepted by everyone.
They waited for the rain to stop at the school cafeteria. The glass windows looked like waterfall from outside because of the gustiness of the wind but a few minutes more and it became calmer. For Mikan, waiting while eating was the best option so she proposed for them to hang out in the cafeteria for a while. Yuu was frustrated because of the time he was supposed to spend at home was only spent at waiting but when his friends, especially Mikan, couldn't stopped telling stories, he was entertained. They consumed the last set of coffee jelly and Hotaru looked annoyed as Mikan narrated her story about going to Shirahama and Serina coming on the weekend. Both Hotaru and Yuu knew the complicated relationship Mikan had with her future mother and stories from before suggested that Serina was not the kindest to the brunette.
"You know she hates when her plans adjust for you and yet you had the audacity to do just that," Hotaru lectured, rolling her eyes.
Mikan felt defeated, waved her hands in midair. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to give up any of the two."
Yuu who was plainly observing half of the time they spent there decided to ask, "Are you sure you're still coming? I mean, won't she get back to you for this?"
Mikan briefly paused in answering to think through it. "She likes it more when I'm not there. At least, she can have all Dad's time."
"Here I thought they were married a long time ago," Yuu muttered in surprise.
Mikan frowned with that. "Supposed to but I entered their lives. Dad has a lot of money to give for the legal guardianship and suddenly having a child isn't cheap. I have to eat, shop, go to school, medication, therapy, what else? It was a lot, really."
"That was years ago, though," Yuu tried to ease the tension in their conversation.
"She had to live abroad because she got promoted as Head Researcher for the pharmaceutical company wherein she's still working now. Basically, the time she should have sent with Dady, I stole it," Mikan clarified.
"What exactly is your relationship now?"
"Mikan, you don't need to answer that," Hotaru warned.
Indeed, what was to call their relationship? Mikan attempted to answer that they were soon to be family but being family was more than the legalities and formalities so that was a no. Serina and her were not very close and failed to form a bond that could probably lead to friendship. They were more of acquaintances, sadly, even though they met a lot of times. Mikan sighed in remorse for the reason that Hotaru was right. She was audacious enough to ask a favor from Serina and now that she was coming back, Mikan had to experience her wrath all over again.
"Well, she's not my stepmom because she's been with Dad ever since. I could be the one who destroyed all their plans," Mikan let out in monotone.
Hotaru hit Mikan in the head in which the latter groaned in pain. "That's why I don't want you to answer that," Hotaru icily stated while giving Yuu the death stare.
Yuu smiled nervously and changed the course of the topic. "Ms. Serina must have good qualities if Mr. Narumi is still with him."
"All I can say she loves my Dad very much and that is more than enough for me," Mikan said in realization, "She must be in the house now, getting a shower, and about to leave. Later we will go to this wedding gown designer who was her high school classmate."
"When is the wedding?" Yuu asked.
"Spring, next year. She had to plan her leave a year in advance."
Yuu looked devastated. "Gosh, I don't want to work abroad."
"Stop the whining, Yuu," Hotaru commanded and suddenly her gaze passed through her friend. She then displayed her usual look of stoutness and addressed the newcomers in the cafeteria. "What can we do for you, Nogi? Hyuuga?"
The boys stood behind Mikan and when she heard Hotaru's acknowledgement, she quickly opened her bag and took out an envelope. Natsume gave her the task to obtain the sponsored prizes for the school trip in which she accomplished this morning. Due to other things occupying her mind, she almost forgot it. Making a mental note to leave it at the office was not effective and Mikan flinched with that because Natsume for sure would comment on it. Mikan stood up, preparing to leave as time was running out.
"Oh! I am about to pass by the office after this but here." She handed the envelope to Natsume who looked unconvinced. He probably saw her lounging around before approaching them.
"What are those?" Hotaru asked.
"The sponsored prizes from the principal," Ruka answered.
Natsume secure the envelope with his hand first but not fully taking it. "Did you check this carefully?" he asked in attempt to irate her.
"Duh. What do you think of me?" Mikan quickly defended herself and saw her phone notification of the scheduled fitting that afternoon, "Would you look at the time? I have to go now. See you all tomorrow."
Mikan finished her drink while waving goodbye to everyone else, hurrying up with the desire not to be late for the appointment. She was a meter away when Natsume grabbed her arm much to her astonishment.
"Your umbrella, Polka. It's been raining since this morning. Seriously, how stupid can you get sometimes?"
All eyes were on them but Mikan only smiled brightly. Due to her procrastination, she almost forgot the most essential thing on a rainy day. "Got it, jerk. Thanks, Natsume! Bye!"
Before Mikan was completely out of the scene, she sent a text to Ruka, feeling sorry that they were still not able to finalize their plans for the weekend.
Ruka, communication will be via sms for now. I have to attend to something.
Ruka had yet to understand but still he replied, No problem. "What's with the hurry?" he asked.
"If she's walking, she needs to be there first before they arrive," Hotaru answered.
It was still a blurry for Ruka. "Who's they?"
"Never mind," Hotaru dismissed but she knew that did not skip Natsume's memory. She turned her attention to Ruka. "There are changes in the menu of our Sunday breakfast, Nogi. Fortunately, it just made the food cheaper. Check the e-mail I sent you. Let's go, Yuu?"
"Will do, Imai." Ruka replied in enthusiasm and when he realized that this was one of those rare occurrences wherein Hotaru initiated the conversation, he wanted to lengthen it and called her attention again, "Wait!"
Hotaru raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"
Ruka fought in his mind what to say next until he managed with, "Why do they have to change it?"
"Something about scarcity of ingredients. It's in the e-mail," Hotaru replied casually.
Ruka watched Hotaru and Yuu disappear in his eyes. "Thanks," he mumbled and when he noticed Natsume's smirk he added, "I know I sounded stupid."
Natsume only tapped him in the shoulder. "You still have a lot to learn," he jested.
Narumi closed the door of Mikan's room, sighing at the site he just witnessed earlier. There were bouts of crying, yelling, and trying to harm herself. He only closed his eyes in agony. It was hard on the past weeks and the days showed no improvement on the gloomy situation. He glanced at the clock and bewildered that it was almost midnight. Tomorrow he still had to go to court after classes. Since the accident, he barely had any time to sleep just to make sure things were moving. Her sister's death brought a grim to their family and he shouldered all the responsibilities because Izumi refused to move, lost all light he had inside.
"How long are you planning to keep her?" Serina asked, leaning on the wall next door.
Narumi's eyes went down, sight on the floor to avoid the contact. "I am going to be her legal guardian now," he reiterated.
Serina's expression turned to anger as if she wanted to smack Narumi but her feelings refrained her from doing so. She walked near Narumi and shook his shoulders, hoping this waked him up. "Are you insane? Her father is just two towns away and you want to adopt her? This is not your responsibility."
Narumi only held her hands, trying his best to make Serina understand, "It is. I am next to my brother in terms of responsibility before and I am taking the lead now."
"What she lost is just her mother not the whole family."
Narumi went downstairs, afraid that Mikan would hear the conversation. "Did you see how Izumi treats her? Did you see how she treats herself? There is no way that I will abandon the child."
"What about us then? What about our plans? Our future family? Huh?!" Serina's eyes widened, yelling out her frustrations.
His head ached, opting to took the seat on the kitchen. "This is why I'm trying to make you understand. We can delay the plans first."
The plans that they started over a year ago was nowhere near its application stage. Serina fret that time was running out and she became second priority in Narumi's life.
"You're just unbelievable. If you cannot attend to both, you must sacrifice the other and you chose to sacrifice me? Me who is your future wife? Me who went to hell and back and nurture this relationship? What am I to you? Do you even love me?" she ranted, crying because all her dreams halted but Narumi only hugged her tight.
"No, of course not, I love you, Serina. But the child won't always be a child. I don't want her to feel worthless," Narumi said in tears, hoping the warmth of his hug will assure Serina that his love was for forever.
Serina broke the hug. "Talk to me when you're sane again. I can't believe you are willing to drop everything for your niece."
"She's my daughter now," Narumi replied in a sorrowful smile.
End of Chapter
Mikan's past slowly unfolding, the very essence of this story. Explanations will be dropped from time to time and as for the summary of what really happened, that would be a few chapters away. Thank you for the wonderful words from last chapter and your understanding on why I was away for a long time. I really felt the welcome and its warmth. A lot of you has mentioned that what you liked about this story is the subtleness of everything: Mikan's past, her relationship with Natsume, that the story was not only focused on her. I appreciate that you noticed it all. I believe that the greatest foundation of all is friendship and I tried my best to reflect just that in this story. And now we're on the part where everything will be laid out one by one and what are the struggles of our main characters. It might be everything you imagined….or not. :D