Something You've Read Before

Chapter Twenty three

Promising Fluff Puffs

Narumi swore to himself that he would knock on his fourth time coming back to Mikan's door but an hour already passed, the neighborhood already dimmed their lights and he still had no guts to barge into his daughter's room. The surprised look he had when she saw Mikan already staring at Izumi with a longing and mortified look was indescribable. This taught Narumi a lesson not to keep anything from Mikan anymore because fate had a notorious way of showing it. Mixed emotions flooded Narumi's judgment resulting in hesitation to face Mikan. In the end, he was not able to invade the barricade Mikan set up in her room. He phoned Subaru as soon as they reached the house but his inability to calm his wits caused him to phone the doctor once again. Narumi did not wait for Subaru's voice when he immediately stated his worries.

"She's not sleeping tonight, Subaru. I can feel it. The lights are off but I know she's wide awake."

Narumi heard the creak from the swivel chair on the other line and so was Subaru's sigh. Maybe Subaru found Narumi a bother for calling too much but the latter did not care as long as he was sure there was nothing to worry about which was too good to be true.

"Alright, calm down, Narumi. I will personal follow this development of sorts. Her reaction is expected for someone who has not seen her estranged father for a long time. This is far from declaring a crisis."

Narumi dropped his body on the couch as if his energy was sucked out. He massaged his forehead to somehow dissipate the headache forming from too much thinking. "I know, I know. Actually, when I thought of it carefully, before she would force herself to follow Izumi, become agitated, then silent. She handled this better than the last time."

"You should have told, Mikan."

The words from Subaru added fuel to the fire and it made Narumi wince in remorse. "I thought I was sparing her of the pain. It was a surprise when I saw her and then I couldn't think or talk clearly."

"You can always correct your actions," Subaru encouraged, "I will wait for her arrival tomorrow and see to it that she is well-attended."

"Take care of her, Subaru. I am entrusting her to you."

"I also have to visit Izumi before he makes another move. Goodnight."

With a nod and a calmer mind, Narumi bid his farewell. "Goodnight," he said.

The world turned quiet again with Narumi eyeing the staircase to Mikan's room. Narumi probably dozed off because when he opened his eyes, he saw Mikan putting a blanket around him which made him gasp a little but Mikan remained her expression neutral. The exhaustion crept up on him but upon looking at the clock, it was only an hour ago since he ended the conversation with Subaru. Narumi wondered if Mikan already got her sleep at least but he could not ask anything. This was the first time he truly felt horrible for not telling things to her, staying quiet and not instigating the conversation showed Narumi's guilt.

"Was that, Subaru?" Mikan asked.

Narumi recalled that the phone call happened one hour ago and it seemed like Mikan heard it. He decided to ignore that question and with his fatherly voice, he asked, "Why are you still awake? You have an early train ride tomorrow."

Mikan smiled sadly, her eyes stared at him. She then gulped and disconnected the eye contact. "Do I make you worry?" she asked with a swivel of emotion.

Narumi's eyebrows almost met when he muttered, "Mikan."

Mikan only nodded, already understanding what he tried to say. She knew that her behavior bothered her father and she still kept up to it. Like what Narumi said before, no one could take away being worried for her but Mikan hated seeing her second father crumbling just because of her. Mikan sat beside Narumi and encircled her arms with his. "I will sleep. I am just having lots of thoughts right now but I will sleep. So, what did Subaru say?"

"He's gonna wait for you at the station and you'll be staying at his house."

Mikan felt confused. "Not the facility?"

"Of course not. Anyways, it's going to be a long journey. Did you pack your clothes, food, money, meds?"

Mikan giggled a little. "Hotaru rallied it over through the phone."

"Bring thick clothes, okay?" Narumi reminded.

Akita, being in the far end of Japan and on the mountainous side, was one of the first prefectures which experienced the cold weather the autumn season gave. Instead of being unproductive and wallow in her thoughts, Mikan already arranged her clothes and essentials for a trip that she could not assume until when would last. She packed light, worth of three days of clothing and many other things. If her stay extended, she would just buy from thrift shops around or borrow Hotaru's old clothes. There was a strong feeling that Narumi did not want to let her go on this journey alone, like it would be better if he was there in case anything happened while Mikan realized that she had to assure her father this time.

"Dad, I'm gonna be fine. If anything, this trip can put an end to everything or at least begin the end of everything."

Narumi appreciated the strength Mikan showed him, a trait that put him into serenity. The tint of her tone instigated determination. "I trust that you can do this."

Mikan hugged him tightly. "That means so much," she said under the comfort of Narumi's embrace.

In between the caress Narumi gave Mikan, he asked, "Did you have a fight with Natsume?"

Mikan broke the hug. "How did you know?" she asked with wide eyes.

With a sinister smile, Narumi explained. "The Student Council came to the faculty room to inform me about their success with the Photography Club and he asked to talk to me in private. He apologized to me, Mikan. The Natsume Hyuuga apologized to me if ever your fight caused me trouble."

"He did what? That silly jerk," Mikan grunted with a pout and disbelief, "We made up. We just had a misunderstanding but we've already talked about it."

"I knew something worried you but I would have never guessed it was about him. I'm glad you talked about it."

Mikan already talked things with Natsume regarding their fight but not her confession. She wondered if she would have the time to discuss her feelings with him but she guessed that could wait until she came back to Tokyo. Bringing the topic up, Mikan recognized that there were things she did not tell Narumi also because she did not want him to feel responsible for her fight with Natsume. Little did she know that Narumi noticed every change in behavior when it came to her. No secret could really be kept in a long time, it would find its way to be revealed.

"How about that you're meeting with Daddy all this time?" Mikan asked since they were in the topic of not telling everything.

Narumi immediately displayed an apologetic look. "I'm sorry if I kept it to you. Subaru warned about it to me before. I was surprised to see Izumi contacting me and then he was just asking for money or if I knew someone who could help him."

"I will never let them go far," Mikan said, referring to Izumi's plan of relocating.

"I wish you the best, Mikan."

That alone stirred Mikan's courage to face everything, to face Izumi and Youichi. She stared at Narumi longer than usual then flashed out a nostalgic smile. The weather was turning cold, summer was bidding its goodbye, and this was usually the time when memories spilled her brain. "Do you remember the first time we actually met?" Mikan asked.

"Yes, it was winter then."

"I'm glad to call you my father and not just my uncle."

Narumi's face turned into convolution, his heart exploded with the intention behind the message. "Oh, Mikan. Don't make me cry."

Mikan cried first though. She wiped her tears and then Narumi's. Every time she went back to her memory of meeting with Narumi the first time, she could not help the tears from falling down. It was one of the most humane experiences she had in her life. The way Narumi accepted her with no second thoughts, his arms opened to welcome her despite being blamed as the one who caused another person's death. Narumi raised her like he was her own. "You're one of the reasons why I'm better now. You also lost the fiery, cheerful Izumi Sakura in that accident but you never blamed me."

Narumi huffed from crying but his emotions got the better of him. "Because no one should be blamed for it especially a child who only wanted to see the beach."

Mikan impatiently tapped her foot while looking at the gigantic digital clock on Tokyo Station. She was far from late and she had not forgotten anything either. Mikan looked grumpy while holding a standard size suitcase on her right hand and backpack with her left. She pleaded for Narumi not to take her to the station and instead sleep since Hotaru and Yuu would be with her soon enough but what she did not expect were the empty hands of her two friends. At first, Mikan thought they checked in their bags in case they brought a lot but judging from their clothes, it indicated they were not going anywhere outside Tokyo because they wore the school uniform. Mikan felt confused, betrayed, disappointed and if it was possible to shout her feelings of upset in the busy station, she would have done a long time ago.

"Waaah," Mikan wailed, already looking like a lost child, "I don't understand."

Yuu tried to calm Mikan down but Hotaru was no help with her stoic expression and cold way of saying, "We're not coming with you."

"I can see that but I want to know why. We planned this last night."

"We have homework and a school ranking that should be maintained. This trip would cost us lots of school days."

Mikan's jaw dropped. She never expected Hotaru of all people to care for her god-like grades and school ranking. Mikan crossed her arms, lifting her head. "You've got to be kidding me. Yuu? Are you not feeling guilty for this? I have no one not even my Dad."

Yuu was pulled by Hotaru and received a threatening look not to get swayed by Mikan's guilty game. "I'm sorry, Mikan."

"What are you planning this time, Hotaru Imai?" Mikan finally asked, knowing that this was not about school or laziness to go back to Akita.

Hotaru smirked. "We can't accompany you on this long trip to the mountains but I know someone who can."

Mikan's head fell on the other side. "Who?" she asked, not having the slightest idea.

Betrayed. That was the main feeling the overflowed after Hotaru and Yuu neglected her in the train station and passed on the responsibility to the person she least expected to see. Mikan ran her hands through her face and kicked her feet on the ground. Natsume just finished putting their things on the overhead compartment. Mikan wanted to die or be swallowed by a blackhole the moment she turned to see Natsume with the same amount of baggage she had. The venomous look she sent Hotaru and Yuu left to ruins and was ignored all the way. Mikan watched them gave their advices to Natsume, what to expect on this long trip and in Akita. Natsume casually looked at her, telling her to move it faster or else they would be left behind. Mikan watched him purchased the tickets with struggle, an evidence that this was his first time riding the train but he did good either way.

Mikan followed Natsume's steps, settled with muttering a few words, only talking when she was asked a question. She had no idea what Hotaru told Natsume but for him to go with her, it was too much for her to handle. She hated that he acted so normal while her heart thumped in beats. It was abnormal. No one had the right to scold her for being awkward with the present situation because this really astonished her to the bones. Mikan took a peek to see Natsume's handsome features as he closed the compartment and it made her heart flutter again. Biting her lip, Mikan placed a hand on her chest and inwardly commanded it to stop being so affected. Natsume got the assigned seat by the window side but he told her she could take the seat instead.

"I did not know what they told you but this is definitely not a vacation," Mikan warned.

Natsume glanced at her as he took his seat. "I know."

Mikan could not help but feel suspicious. "How much do you know?" she asked while looking at the window.

"Only what you told me," Natsume replied with a shrug of the shoulders, "Why can't you look at me straightly?"

Mikan unconsciously turned her head to him in defense. "No, I'm not. And Hotaru did not book first class tickets but why are we in first class?"

"A little upgrade to avoid back and butt pain won't hurt," Natsume answered with a smug and shifted to his most comfortable position, making the seat lean backwards, "Come on, Polka. I just want us to be comfortable. They say it's at least a 10-hour trip? I need my rest."

Mikan had an idea with Natsume mentioning that. "If you're already tired, you can drop out to the nearest station then go home."

Natsume knew what game Mikan was trying to play. He pulled the blanket placed under the seat and leaned on his side to take a good look at her. "No way I'm leaving you. Besides, I'm not tired. Just lacking of sleep because of worrying about someone."

"I'm surprise you can talk to me like before," Mikan blurted out.

Natsume hinted a sad vibe on Mikan's tone when she said that. That must be her biggest worry when she confessed, that their friendship already ended. Honestly, Natsume also thought that if someone closed to him revealed feelings more than friendship, then what they had was already gone. He was also surprised that he acted naturally upon seeing Mikan or maybe it was his choice to act mature and understood that her confessing did not change their status as friends even a bit. It was acceptable for Mikan to act quiet and taken aback, he already expected that and he planned to control the pacing of this trip. They just rekindled their relationship and vowed not to fight again because it was terrible to miss each other that much and Natsume was still in to that promise.

Natsume pinched Mikan's nose with gentleness and traced figures in her forehead while Mikan's eyes were glued at him. "You revealing that you like me doesn't change our friendship."

Mikan blushed and initiated a distance which made Natsume smile. "W-what? Are we seriously going to discuss that here?"

"I know what I said before in Shirahama," Natsume explained, "I advise you not to dwell on it."

"And Luna?" Mikan quickly interjected.

Natsume groaned upon hearing her name. "What about her?" he asked out of annoyance.

"What happened to your talk?"

"Jealous?"

Mikan hit him in the arm. "Natsume!"

Natsume winced a little but quickly displayed a mocking expression. He sat up straight with a challenging look forming in his beautiful face. "We're going to a trip to your hometown with me only knowing that we're going to see your real father. I don't think we know each other that well, Mikan Sakura."

They already talked about different turns, nook, and curves of their lives but barely on the simple details on what made them who they were. This ten hour trip better be productive, a better option than just to sleep and wait for them to reach their destination. Mikan got what was Natsume trying to propose but she had a minute to ponder over it. If she really thought hard, there were many things that she still did not know about him. Mikan agreed because this could take a lot from their time and she would gain better understanding of his personality.

With a nod, Mikan asked, "Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Your birthday?"

Mikan answered, not minding how random this conversation started or if she never mentioned the date to Natsume. "New Year. I don't celebrate it anymore. Yours?"

"November 27 and I only celebrate it with my close friends and my father. Why don't you celebrate it anymore?" Natsume asked.

Mikan faltered to answer for a while but replied still. "The accident I mentioned to you happened on my birthday."

A new development on this story which Natsume tried to solve like puzzle pieces. That new information gave him a bitter impression, like the accident she talked about before was far from light the way she narrated it before they went to Shirahama. It sounded tragic knowing it happened on a special day. Natsume carried on with the questioning. "Your favorite color?" he asked to make the atmosphere fluffier.

"Probably pink?" Mikan answered but feeling unsure until she saw the judgmental look on Natsume's face. "Don't look at me with those eyes, Natsume! What's wrong with pink?" Mikan retorted.

"Nothing," Natsume answered with a light giggle then gazed at her. "Mine's the color of your eyes."

Mikan blinked, suddenly feeling conscious. "Is that a pick-up line?"

"I'm serious. I came to like it," Natsume defended, "Any family members that I should know about?"

Mikan frowned at the question. "I have a brother that I barely know."

It seemed like this getting to know each other in five minutes revealed more than the duration of their friendship. The fact that Mikan had a brother which she never hinted about dazed Natsume and this always happened when it came to Mikan. She was so open and mysterious at the same time that a day would never be enough to know everything about her but he was interested still, so interested in knowing her worries, insecurities, achievements, things that made her angry, scared, and happy. Natsume theorized that Izumi was responsible for this sibling fiasco between them like Kaoru was to him and Aoi.

"I have an older sister named Aoi. We don't talk much either."

Mikan nodded, remembering the first time she heard about Aoi in Glassroots. It seemed like they both had sibling issues only with varying reasons why. "What did you and Luna talk about?" Mikan asked again, aching to know what happened in the restaurant the moment she walked away.

And they were back to Luna. Something told Natsume that it was Mikan's curiosity and wariness that were pushing her to ask these questions but maybe she really wanted to know because they were friends and he owed her the truth. The train was almost full for a weekday but the spacious corner they had allowed privacy for their talk. The wide and comfy seats tempted them to just lay down and sleep throughout their trip but the company of each other tempted them more to stay awake. The sun was rising on Natsume's side which made Mikan looked at it intently then all of a sudden Natsume was enveloped in rays of sunshine which blinded her a little. Mikan focused on his lips to at least mouth read his answer.

"Luna wanted to get back with me."

Mikan knew that from the beginning but she was not interested in Luna, she was more interested in knowing what he told her. "Then, what did you say?" she asked with a slight worry.

She got no answer from her confession, Luna did something remarkable to help the Photography Club, and they had history. Although, when Mikan came to think of it, Natsume already declared that he did not like her anymore but how valid was that statement after all that. Mikan counted a few seconds when he realized that he had yet to answer and only gazed at her with a steady emotion. The ruby orbs of Natsume never failed to captivate her soul and it really matched his ember hair. Mikan always found herself in this disposition, admiring him near and far, and gaining everything inside her to stop from squealing. If Natsume said he would try things with Luna again, Mikan's heart would break but she would choose to be happy for him.

"I don't like her anymore," Natsume asserted.

Mikan gulped, opening her mouth a little then started to feel the tension in the air. "Are you certain? You can only be sure about that if you have someone else in mind."

"You don't say," Natsume said with a smirk and only watched her, hoping she could get the clue but Mikan's face was unchanged so he decided with the next question. "Who is Izumi?"

Mikan faked a cough before resting her back on the seat. "He's my real father who, kind of, abandoned me because he blames the accident to me. He used to be such a cool father but his anger towards me sometimes is unbelievable. We've been like this for nine years. And my uncle, who I now call my Dad, who happens to be Narumi, became my father since then. He is my legal guardian."

Assessing how close Narumi and Mikan were, Natsume would never imagined that they were not immediate family members. He liked to further discuss that new information but this was not the place for it although he was dying to know because the Natsume knew, the more he realized that he did not know enough. "What's the name of your mother?" he asked.

"Yuka," Mikan replied with a solemn tone then she smiled at him, "More questions?" she asked.

Natsume shook his head then right on time, one of the train crew came to serve them food. "None for now. Let's have breakfast."

Mikan only watched the food being placed on their table. She really liked Natsume's uncalled sweetness and concern. When did he have the time to order this? And he chose everything that she would probably order. Mikan blushed even more as Natsume opened the food pack for her and put the straw on her orange juice. "I'm being spoiled by you. I only brought rice cakes from the convenience store in case we get hungry," Mikan said.

Natsume only smiled. "Eat a lot, Polka."

For Yuu, seeing the Student Council officers dining in the cafeteria had been a trend lately. First, it was Sumire then Koko and now everyone was here. They usually went outside the school for lunch or ordered food online because cafeteria food was a hit and miss most of the time but a magnet attracted them here. Yuu guessed it was the curry and the pasta but those were such common dishes to begin with. Waking up earlier than usual today made him yawn several times during the first half of the day so Yuu drank two cups of black coffee already to wake his senses. The rest of the council had their eyes ogled on Yuu and Hotaru as if they were waiting for the great news or a scoop at least. Yuu was sure they had questions regarding Mikan and since Natsume came with her in Akita, this had become a national sensation.

Hotaru summarized the events up until Natsume boarded the train with Mikan, explaining things in general without the gist of the story. That was the best Hotaru could do without trampling on Mikan's privacy and Yuu was amazed how she managed to do that because if it was him, he probably spilled it all. The gang was quiet for a while, digesting the information they received not until Sumire squealed in delight, sending shocks to the group. Sumire then hit the table and repeatedly yelled 'Yes!' in a victorious tone as if she won the grand slam acting award. Yuu only thinned his lips with the realization that if anybody in this room was super supportive of Mikan and Natsume, it was Sumire without an ounce of doubt.

"Natsume went to Akita with Mikan?!" Koko repeated.

Sumire clasped her hands together in a prayer stance, looking dreamily in the ceiling. "They're skipping school together. That's so sweet."

"Don't romanticize that notion," Yura said after swirling her carbonara.

"I am not. It's just that we all know they like each other, right?" Sumire defended then made eye contact with her friends, saying, "Besides, Natsume being with Mikan on this trip might make things official."

No one argued with that assumption. Keeping it an open secret and making moves behind the scenes were the primary duties of the council in relation with this Mikan-Natsume tandem. Other members like Yura only confirmed her assumption they those two liked each other when she heard the news about this sudden trip they had to take. Others having the same mindset proved that maybe it was only Mikan and Natsume who failed to see it that they liked each other very much.

Ruka took the attention of everyone else and made a proposition. "Very well then. Let's give them their privacy. No one would call them unless urgent or if they're the ones who contacted us first."

Everyone agreed with smile on their faces. "Understood."

The little crowd of theirs lessened one by one as lunch time was almost over. When Yuu finished throwing his trash on the bin, a gloomy aura was evident in his posture and appearance. "I feel guilty that we didn't go," Yuu told Hotaru. He could not help but feel like if there was someone who should be with Mikan, it was them.

Hotaru crossed her arms. She understood why Yuu felt that way and honestly, she was feeling the same. "Yuu, have you noticed how much Mikan has changed since we met her? Do you still remember that day?"

Yuu smiled at the memory. "You were both new in Tokyo and in school. Mikan became my seatmate. She was so quiet, somber-looking, like she was gazing at something that was not there. Other kids were even afraid to approach her."

"Look at her now. She is so different. I also remember her in that way but I couldn't imagine that her bright personality would fade again."

Yuu looked up with a realization. "She met someone who changed her."

Hotaru's eyes became gentle because this change in Mikan was the best thing that happened to her. "It's us, all of here, who changed her. But, you know, Hyuuga is in a different category."

When Hotaru said it in that way, it became easier for Yuu to release the guilt feelings he had. Yes, they would be a big help to Mikan if they were with her but this was also the perfect time to move her story forward with Natsume. Yuu could not help but giggle because he felt responsible for the development of the two. He was the reason of their first argument and urged the two to compromise and know each other. He had no idea that feelings beyond friendship would develop between Mikan and Natsume but that was how love worked its magic usually. In the most unexpected way possible. This also proved that a person you hated at first could be someone who you could like eventually.

"I hope something comes out from that trip," Yuu prayed with full sincerity.

The series playing on the mini tv screen bored Natsume, sending him to a series of yawning and rubbing of the eyes with maybe a few more seconds of the show, he would finally get his sleep but a head suddenly touched his slumped shoulders which conducted electricity to his body. Natsume savored the moment wherein Mikan's head leaned on his shoulder rather than the window or preferably the cushion of their bed-like seat. They listened to music together after breakfast then she already drifted to sleep. Now, the sun was almost setting because daytime shortened already and the way its rays spread on the glass windows was majestic to look at. The golden light touched Mikan's features, highlighting every curve of her face. Natsume savored the moment even more. He found her shampoo fragrant and hoped she would not find him sniffing her hair. Mikan made minute moves while being on his shoulder but he was careful not to let go of her. She slept more than half of the trip so it meant that her exhaustion overtook her body.

This trip, in another perspective, was forced into Natsume but he did not feel the slightest boredom or regret that he went with her. He never once thought about school or his friends that he left behind who probably had thousands of questions in their minds. Natsume's focus was solely on Mikan and how he could help her in any way possible. He had enough time to ponder over his purpose as he looked at the view of their train ride. Natsume saw forests, oceans, rivers, lake, a city he was not familiar of. He also skipped lunch because Mikan was still asleep and he did not want to wake her up. Besides, he was not that hungry. Mikan fidgeted on her seat, opening her eyes, and turned to her left with her jar now resting on his shoulder. Natsume followed her gaze, his eyes looking down to her but Mikan kept on blinking until she realized the proximity.

"Good afternoon. We're almost there."

Mikan acted innocent and only smiled. "I'm sorry I slept on you shoulder. I should have been more cautious."

"Did you sleep well at least?"

Mikan nodded with a yawn. "Yeah, thanks. How about you?"

"I slept for a while." Natsume lied. He was not able to sleep because he was too busy admiring her.

Mikan took her phone and switched to message. "I better tell Subaru that we're almost there."

"So, what's the role of Subaru Imai in all of this?" Natsume asked randomly.

After sending the message, Mikan knew it was the continuation of their question and answer portion earlier. "Well, as you know, he's a psychiatrist, a child psychiatrist to be specific. I am his patient."

Mikan always thought it would be hard to admit that she was a patient under the care of a psychiatrist because of the stereotype attached to it but Natsume seemed unaffected by the revelation which was a big relief. The society had always been adamant when it came to interacting with people who underwent mental issues. Although, awareness had been spread out throughout the world using multiple methods, the looks people gave to patients always felt isolating. Truth to be told, discrimination was one of the many fears of Mikan possessed in mind in terms of telling Natsume everything. One could imagine the happiness Mikan retrieved when Natsume's expression did not change a bit.

"Then, you have a professional relationship aside him being Imai's brother? Why were you so stubborn on interacting with him the last time?"

Stretching her arms and legs, Mikan let out one last yawn. "Subaru is great at what he does but he uses cruel methods to gain results. Actually, no. It's just that he believes in me more than he should."

"I believe in you. Don't you?" Natsume countered.

Mikan frowned a little before explaining herself. "I am not that confident of myself especially before. He introduced me to different psychotherapies and treatments which I hated and did not work at first. So whenever I see him, it's like he is there to put me on experiments again. I also hate the way he talks and the fact that he knows what he's doing."

"Are you okay to meet him now?"

Mikan laughed. "I learned how to tolerate his presence, at least."

"Attention to all passengers: We will be arriving in Akita Station within ten minutes. Kindly check your belongings before unloading the train. Any inquiries will be gladly answered by the crew. Direct your queries to official personnel of the train only. Practice safety on walking the aisle, using the toilet located near the exit door signs, and when taking off the train. Thank you for choosing Akita Shinkansen for your trip. Have a nice evening ahead."

The longest trip by train Natsume had in his life finally ended. He felt his legs ached for a long walk and a quick run, feeling stiffed and contained on that train. They unloaded the train with ease and carried their bags with no hassle, stopping at one point because Mikan had to call Subaru, announcing their coming. Good thing that Subaru was already waiting at the arrival area when Mikan called so they say him immediately upon exiting the station. Akita Station looked similar to other stops of the train with its high ceiling, gray foundation and boulders, and white lights illuminating the whole area. It was less busier than those major cities in Japan and also had less shops to buy food. Natsume's stomach growled which Mikan heard so she offered the rice cake she bought earlier. Dinner was prepared at Subaru's home so a light meal would suffice.

Mikan was unfamiliar to the big changes that happened on this welcoming point of the prefecture. She took a minute to wander her eyes, seeing the modernity of the station and trying to imagine what it looked years ago. Before, everything was built by wood and light material but the station looked like a mini airport now equipped with electronic signboards, the automated ticket machines, a tourist information center, and the local stores designated inside the arrival area. Roughly six years of not seeing Akita in person definitely made Mikan think she was in a new place, wondering if she could still walk around and still get back where she came from. Subaru was waving his hand to become more noticeable in their eyes. Natsume took Mikan's baggage and signaled her to approach Subaru already.

"Good evening, Subaru."

Subaru took their bags and inspected Mikan's companion from head to toe. "When Hotaru said that it's Natsume Hyuuga who you are with, I didn't believe her for a second until I actually saw his presence."

"Nice to meet you again, Dr. Imai," Natsume greeted and then a gush of wind passed by, "Ugh, it's already cold here."

"Come with me. The car's over there. You don't have any problems riding the car with me as the driver, right Mikan?" asked Subaru.

Mikan had little fear but she made a reminder. "Just drive safely."

They already settled their belongings on the trunk but Mikan opened her carry on quickly to pull out her scarf. Before Natsume managed to sit on the back seat, Mikan wrapped a scarf around his neck then she proceeded on the passenger seat. There was it again; Mikan making an impact to him by just doing the smallest of things. Natsume was also proud that she did not fret over riding the car, a sign that she indeed taken over her fear. The ride to the Subaru's home had a peaceful silence stamped over it. Natsume observed the roads, neighborhood, and the overall look of the place under the dark skies. The streetlights were there, sure, but the evident absence of people roaming outside felt foreign to him. This was when it sunk to Natsume that he was at the end part of Japan and civilization here was distinctive than that in Tokyo.

"It's so quiet here," Natsume could not help but say.

Subaru looked around, seeing nothing unusual then he remembered that Natsume Hyuuga lived all his life in the busy streets of Tokyo. "People are usually indoors by seven p.m. unless you're in the center of the city. We experience the coldest winters here and the hottest of summers."

Mikan looked back at him. "The Imais home is surrounded by pine trees. You'll like it there."

"Good thing we have enough rooms. No way I'll let you two sleep on the same room."

Mikan's face turned to a grimace and became red in mortification. "Subaru, what the heck?"

Subaru laughed his heart out. "I'm just teasing you guys."

They reached their destination after a thirty minutes. The slopes, turns, and sound of the engine reminded Natsume that they were definitely in the mountains. The home of the Imais was a cabin. Natsume had no other words to describe it. The wood used was maintained in its shiny state, maybe newly painted. There was smoke in the chimney and you had to look up to get the view of the house because it was erected in the highest point of yet another slope. It gave the vibe of a typical vacation house in the middle of the mountains. There was a porch made of wood and two other seats in case you wanted to have a group coffee session. View was not yet visible because it was already dark but Natsume could tell they were in a nice location.

Upon entering, the creaking sound of their footsteps reverberated in the house while the wheels of their suitcases smoothly passed by the floor which must be made of wood used for bowling alleys judging from the texture. Subaru hung the car keys behind the door, pointing at the short stair cases toward the second floor of the house but really it was just elevated in little height from the first floor. The outside screamed country living but inside was modern when it came to the gadgets, devices, and lighting. It was evident that they only preserved the furniture to match the overall look of the house. Pictures in frames were posted on the living room which Natsume scanned a little seeing little versions of Hotaru and Subaru, a family portrait in sketch, more family pictures in different occasions, then a photo of Hotaru, Yuu, and Mikan together.

"We're here. Feel at home. Breakfast will be served at exact seven and we will be meeting Izumi by ten in the morning. Mikan, I want you to write your thoughts regarding this ordeal on paper and submit it to me first thing in the morning."

Mikan growled at her new assignment but she knew Subaru hated it when she slacked off. Her persistence reminded her of the days back in the facility during her most down times. For days, Mikan had no motivation to get up from her bed or even take care of herself. No bath, no eating, no playing, no energy. The nurses tried their best to involve her in the activities to no avail until Subaru offered her most favorite food. Soon, Mikan's waxy state decreased and turned over to increasing energy levels but still under strict monitoring because of suicide precaution. Her condition improved eventually and Mikan could not imagine going back to that state again.

"Your hometown's nice," Natsume stated.

Subaru heard it from afar and yelled, "It is very beautiful here. A lot different from Tokyo."

Mikan snickered then paid attention to Natsume's remark. "It's been long since I was last here but I bet it's still the same. When we have time, I'll show you around."

"Are you ready to face you dad? I mean, I'm still on the dark here but I am not so sure if it's alright for you to meet him this early. Maybe wait another day?"

Mikan rested an arm on the handle of her suitcase. "It's actually an ambush. There's no way Subaru would tell him that I am here. I am afraid, Natsume. But, I know this fear won't vanish unless I face it. I don't want to hide forever."

"You can do it. When it gets too unbearable, I'll be there."

"You always reassure me, Natsume."

Natsume smirked. "Does this make you heart flutter, too?"

Mikan turned around, her steps in quick motion to get to her room. "S-shut up. Go to your room and sleep."

"Goodnight, Polka. Sweet dreams."

Subaru checked for the morning temperature. Sometimes, he based people's reactions on temperature. On a hot, sunny day, humans had the habit of overthinking things leading to a quick temper and adding to that tension was the prickly heat that never felt comfortable especially when you made skin contact on someone. Some were energized by the heat of the sun and liked being outgoing in such thin clouds. While colder days placed the mind in a more relaxed state, the mood made you feel sleepy and stay on the comforts of your bed all day. Winter season also magnified sad and tragic instances making people feel depressed over nothing. The cloudy skies, rain, snow, gloomy aura made them feel down and there was a condition named after it. Today was a mixed of summer and autumn which Subaru liked to recognize as a good sign. But, deep inside his logic, Subaru knew that it was not yet the time but it was worth the try.

Two knocks on his study signaled Mikan's permission to enter the room. The girl knew the room so well because they had conducted many discussions there which were recorded and filed. From the eight year old Mikan to the seventeen year old version of herself, all her records were kept in a secret place. Mikan was too early for breakfast and he did not expect her to be so diligent in finishing her homework. It was hard to be a doctor and a close friend of the parents of your patient. Subaru hated boundaries and limits. He was not the type to follow the book each word and instead preferred to make his own way, own therapy, his version of the traditional method. He disliked only telling Mikan such generic words and not exactly what she needed to hear. He presented the reality to Mikan that morning. That there was a bigger chance of Izumi pushing her away again and repeated exposure to the stressor was not healthy but Mikan pleaded not to treat her as his patient.

Something inside Subaru snapped when Mikan said that. He would forever be her psychiatrist, prescribing medications if needed, trying out therapies for release, Subaru's purpose in Mikan's life was that but she was asking him not to be. This posed another boundary that Subaru wished to break. This was an ethical dilemma that should be resolved a long time ago but he consciously continued being Mikan's doctor. The very reason why he had a unique fondness for Mikan as a patient because she taught him life lessons like this. That a person could certainly outlive his deficiencies and transform to the best version of himself. Subaru agreed with Mikan's suggestion but he still needed a record, in case something happened.

Breakfast was sumptuous since Subaru made extra effort to impress his visitors and he always loved cooking for others. Mikan showed Natsume the house in detail and the surroundings. It was lovely to see them walk together, almost hand in hand, but refused to go further in physical contact. They welcomed the morning in such a peaceful way. Good breakfast, beautiful nature, just the right temperature. It was the perfect picture of calm before the storm. Subaru had to tell Narumi the grim chances of of Mikan gaining the favor of Izumi over the phone which did not help the teacher's worries but at least he was prepared for it. If Narumi was soaked in his worries, Subaru rallied in his mind if Mikan felt scared since she showed no signs of wavering. The sharpness of Mikan's eyes since she came here did not falter.

Subaru pursed his lips as he locked the house then his eyes momentarily gazed upon the two youngsters waiting at the car. From that moment on, Subaru knew why Mikan eluded a brave aura. Subaru could not help but smile because the answer was standing beside Mikan. How sweet their relationship was. When Mikan asked for his permission if it was alright to tell the boy she liked her feelings, he had no objection, but Subaru did not have Natsume Hyuuga in mind.

"Let's go?" Subaru asked, unlocking the car and then headed to Mikan Sakura's first home.

Natsume was instructed to wait outside and he immediately understood why. The residence of the Sakuras likened to that house Mikan often stopped by in Tokyo; the only difference was the pottery shop in front of the house. Businesses like this got by because of loyal customers or obtaining a large client like a chain of hotels or resorts. Some of the crafts were left in dust on both ends of the entrance door. Poor maintenance floated because of the lack of personnel, the hole on the window covered only in japanese paper, and the uncut grass which maybe a ruler in length. Natsume entered the shop, noting designs which he found peculiar in terms of diameter and shape. The uniqueness was present but the marketing was wrong with the place looking so rundown, not even a signage on the way here saying there was a pottery shop. He knocked on some of the products and even an outsider like him knew it was made to be durable and could be used for a hundred years. After looking around, Natsume settled on the cargo wheel designed bench outside the shop, pondering how Mikan would react seeing the maker of these ceramics.

Impatience grew on Natsume in a short amount of time. It made him feel helpless that he had to wait here and anticipate what would happen to Mikan. He was still in the dark despite being in Akita but he knew Mikan would tell him soon enough. As if the universe read his thoughts, Natsume heard his phone beep with its unique tone meant for Mikan's messages. He speedily took out his phone and read the message with a bit of excitement mixed with worry.

Hey, wish me luck.

Natsume replied in an instant. You can do it, Polka. No else can do it but you.

Meanwhile, Subaru welcomed himself in to Izumi's humble abode. He acted innocent using his friendly smile and casual gestures the moment he saw Izumi scribbling notes on a thick planner with rough edges which must be his most important notebook to date. Subaru resisted to compare this scenery from last year's quiet home of Izumi filled with fragrant lavenders from the garden at back but he could not help it since the place looked so different with the stiffness and the unpleasant smell. The weather was getting colder making the place damped and moist which were not helping the current state of cleanliness of the area. Subaru knocked at the nearest wood he found and faked a cough to at least get the attention of Izumi.

"Izumi. Good thing you're here. I am hoping to borrow some of your time and I need you to meet someone."

Without looking, Izumi acknowledged Subaru's presence with a raise of hand. For several days now, Izumi had a heavy rotation of computing what he had left, what he had to let go, what he had in debt, what more he could do, and how long he would last. The bags under his eyes needed pampering or even better a vacation. Subaru struggled walking on the messy living room filled with crumpled papers and uncleaned mugs stained with coffee.

"Will that someone going to help me clear my debts?" Izumi asked with a groan.

Subaru winced because he certainly would disappoint Izumi. "Not exactly. But, she is more than the help you need."

Arranging his glasses, Izumi finally looked up to face Subaru, an idea formed in his mind to whom Subaru was referring to. Izumi's vision blurred the moment he saw Mikan appearing from the door. The agitation he felt went to the roof that Mikan was able to step on this home again. It only took Izumi a split second to stand up and forcibly pushed Subaru aside then Mikan in the process but she did not budge.

"Daddy."

It hurt Izumi's soul he she called him that label. "You again?! Are you that stupid to even follow me here?"

Mikan's heart stressed with the accusation but she decided it was too early for her emotions to win over. "Please talk to me. I am not here to cause you pain. I want to help."

Subaru supported Mikan's declaration. "Izumi, don't let your emotions cloud your judgment. Mikan came here because she is worried for you."

Worrying was such a useless action that Izumi only laughed hysterically. Sometimes, he really was convinced that Mikan had no more use for him with her sentimental suggestions and traditional thinking that positivity could solve any problem in the world. "Why? Can you help me? Do you have 20 million yen? If no, then go away. Get lost."

Mikan refused, shaking her head and tried to reach out to her father by taking little steps forward. "What happened to you, Daddy? Please tell me. I'm your family, too."

"You stopped being family the day you killed Yuka!" Izumi yelled on the top his lungs.

"Izumi, stop that!" Subaru scolded and carefully looked at Mikan's reaction but she was surprisingly still standing on her own two feet, fists clenched, the tension in her face apparent because the veins were visible but she was still acting composed.

"I did not kill her. It was an accident. No one wanted that to happen!" Mikan yelled back, feeling liberated to had that out of her system.

Izumi pulled his own hair out of frustration and regret. He had this discussion with Mikan since the accident happened but this was the only time she talked back. That unfortunate day had to happen because of Mikan's selfishness and idiocy which resulted to depression, trauma, longing, anger, and all other emotions. He almost lost his whole family that day just because Mikan wanted to see the sea. Izumi's groans few louder and longer then he started crying when Yuka's face flashed in his mind.

"If you did not insists going on that stupid sea, that would never happen. Maybe she is still here. Maybe she is still the lively Yuka that I know. You took her away from me. I cannot let you take away more from me."

"How can you think of that? I'm your daughter."

Mikan always had that question in her mind, on where Izumi got this so much hatred for a simple request but after making her head ache, she got no absolute answer. Looking at her father so desperately pushing her away with wrath in his eyes, Mikan finally choked in her tears. Subaru refrained Izumi from saying more but her father had no brakes when it came to saying things which truly hurt her to the bones. She expected this to happen, the worst case scenario, and it still hurt like it happened yesterday. Mikan believed before that she deserved the terrible treatment Izumi continuously gave her but experiencing this situation again made her think she had to fight for her say also.

"My only child is Youichi."

How should Mikan react to that? She loved Youichi despite not interacting with him and only stole a few moments with him as a child. Hearing her own father saying that Youichi was his only child stabbed Mikan in the heart without contemplation. With all the unfair treatment she received from Izumi, she could not hold even the tiniest anger toward him or even the minute jealousy on how he treated Youichi with such love and care. After being silent for a while, Mikan smiled bitterly because it seemed like she was there to cause her father pain.

"Daddy, don't sell the house. This is the only memory we have of Mom."

"Why? Are you going to save me when I'm in prison? Can I eat this house when Youichi and I starve?" Izumi snapped in his heavy breathing, yelling every word.

"There are other ways," Mikan insisted.

"You're too stupid to realize reality."

Mikan stayed calm and collected. "No, I'm not. I am hopeful. We can think of other ways as long as you cooperate with Subaru and Dad. We can only solve this with our minds not in disarray. Why don't you consider meeting with us one more time?"

"Shut up! Shut up! Get out! I asked them and they only gave me false hopes."

Mikan only managed to pause and observe Izumi's actions until he dragged her to the door while Subaru became the cushion between them. Truth to be told, it was an ugly sight, something that should not be seen by other people. It was the very image of an infuriated father kicking his daughter away. A tear finally escaped Mikan's eye before sobbing but she was still capable of sound thinking.

"No, don't push me away! This is not what Mom would have wanted. We can still be family."

"Why is it so noisy, Daddy?" said a kid, descending the stairs with a confused look on his face.

Mikan's heart shattered when her focused shifted to the youngster. There stood her little brother Youichi cladded in pajamas and bed hair. He was taller now than the last time Mikan saw him maybe two years ago from pictures Subaru sent her which did not do justice to the Youichi in person. It was as if Mikan's legs had their own brain when it started moving on it own then her arms raised as if reaching out to the kid. Youichi's eyes glued on Mikan's, like sending a question what was she doing there, knowing that she was a familiar figure. In the many years they were separated, Mikan managed to talked to him once but he probably forgot about it. That happened when Youichi was still three and Subaru invited the remaining Sakuras for a small gathering for achieving the license to practice in the States. Mikan introduced herself as as Youichi's older sister with heavy tears in her eyes but the cute, little Youichi only stared at her, unable to understood the severity of her introduction.

Izumi's tone of voice changed, standing straightly, and brushing his hair to arrange it. "Youichi, get more sleep. It's still early."

"Who is that?" Youichi asked, pointing at Mikan.

"Youichi," Mikan mumbled.

"She and Uncle Subaru will be going now," Izumi announced with a glare directed to Subaru.

Mikan surrendered for that day, knowing that this was not a scene that should be seen by a child. Mikan wiped her tears, feeling satisfied when she felt the dryness of her face. She let Izumi pushed her to the door, no more struggle or countertraction. Mikan let his father go that day but insisted in the back of her mind that things would not end like this. Izumi hurriedly opened the door, his eyes searched for Subaru then completely evicted Mikan in the house.

"I will come back. I won't stop until you accept me again. I will never stop until we all move on from this! Daddy, we have to face each other sooner or later. We have to help each other, not fight, not blame."

"Go," was the last thing Izumi said before slamming the door.

Subaru stood a few steps away from Mikan whose head was lowered, eyes on the ground. They both knew this would happen and yet they went ahead with the idea. Their persistence equaled Izumi's level. Although, the confrontation had a better outcome because Mikan had managed to tell her message, that she wanted to talk and solve the problem together. He waited for Mikan to say a word because she looked composing herself in that position.

"Youichi stunned me. He's so tall now."

Subaru did not expect that to be her first statement. "Well, he is nine years old."

Mikan took a deep breath before meeting Subaru's gaze. "I'd like to take a breather. I also want a session this afternoon."

Subaru instantly shook his head. If there was someone here that Mikan did not need, it was his professional orders. "No, Mikan. No sessions. I will not talk to you as your doctor. I will talk to you as someone who is very involved in this."

"If you say so."

Natsume must heard their voices causing him to appear near the car, looking worried with anticipation. Subaru watched Mikan longed for Natsume's comfort. "Also, I think it will help you a lot if you open up your past to Natsume Hyuuga. He looks lost, actually. I am amazed how he put up with this without having a concrete idea and that verbalization of feelings can alleviate your anxiety."

Mikan opened her lips a little in an attempt to say something, to delay the idea but Subaru had a resolute gaze which told her the suggestion was meant to help both her and Natsume. With a nod, Mikan decided and walked toward Natsume, earning a slight push from Subaru. She looked back to her psychiatrist who shooed her away with a smile and that somehow comforted her. Natsume met her at a distance through running, taking her hands and caressed it. His fidgeting fingers and blinking eyes gave Mikan an approximate how worried he was. Natsume's warm hands made her feel safe and it was one of the best feelings of the day.

"How was it, Polka?"

Mikan huffed and frowned, hoping her nose was not red from crying. "Terrible."

"Explains the look on your face," Natsume stated his observation then realized this was not the best place to discuss what just happened, "Are you hungry? Want to grab lunch?"

Subaru let them borrow the car for the rest of the day which Natsume appreciated a lot. They roamed around town to find a nice, quiet place to eat. The car ride was quiet all throughout but Natsume knew it was just Mikan gathering her thoughts. They stopped by a small café which served all day breakfast, choosing the farthest corner seat available for more privacy. Natsume ordered for them from appetizers to dessert because they had to eat a lot to elevate their happy hormones and since Mikan had a big stomach. Mikan just watched him took the lead, admiring how patient he was in this whole affliction. Their orders arrived after ten minutes with Natsume straightaway munching the nachos and drank his iced peach tea with jasmine. He then pushed the plates closer to Mikan and even put the straw on her drink. When Natsume realized he was the only one enthusiastic about lunch, he paused and ogled at Mikan.

"What?" Mikan asked.

"Eat."

"I don't have the appetite."

Natsume glared at her. "It's lunch, Polka. Never miss lunch."

Lunch time was special for them and Mikan did not know when it started. She only noticed that they ate lunch together almost every day. If others had intimate dinners or heavy breakfasts, they had lunch time as their bonding time to catch up. Since Mikan did not want to waste Natsume's efforts and patience, she took the plate closer and then began munching the food, stealing his iced tea.

"Okay. Since I don't want to waste everything you ordered."

Natsume pinched her nose. "Good thing you realize."

They only took a stroll around the town after lunch, just to waste time and ponder over their thoughts. They talked about random things while in the ride, Mikan explaining the town's intricate design and what more Akita had to offer. Natsume listened to her soothing voice before she turned quiet again. Entering the coordinates of Subaru's home in the GPS, they headed there after an hour of strolling. Subaru was not in though, maybe he was in the facility, or out to meet someone. Mikan made her way to the back of the house where there the stairs to get to the attic was located. Natsume followed her without saying anything. The attic was surrounded by glasses on all four sides, serving the city view in the east side and the forest view on the west side. It had another stairs going to Hotaru's room which was Mikan's accommodation at the moment. The connecting stairs was built since it was really Hotaru who requested he construction of the attic for her studies and experiments.

Good thing the ceiling was high enough for them to stand or else in Natsume's height, he would get a back ache from bending too much. The attic was fairly maintained, old things were still in boxes while the open cabinets were filled with books and toys from the 90s. At first, the air was stuffy inside until Mikan opened the glass windows then the cold air seeped inside and completely the fresh air engulfed the room. Mikan sat on the floor, her knees bended, looking up to Natsume.

"Natsume, you don't need to do this."

Mikan wanted to tell him that she would not feel bad in case he stopped midway but Natsume sat on the floor, parallel to Mikan, his back on the glass wall, their feet touching together.

"No, listen to me first. I want to help you but I cannot do that when I don't know what you're going through. Yuu told me it's tragic, Imai doesn't want me pushing you too far but Mikan, I hate seeing you like that. You have to say something. Don't turn quiet or stare at things. Tell me. If you don't want me to know, then promise me you won't do anything stupid."

Natsume hoped that somehow reached her and when she nodded, he knew this was the time all the questions inside his head would be answered. Starting from standing on the middle of the road the first he met her, why she did not attend Yuu's mom funeral, the sudden change in her mood after a phone call way back in the school festival, her uncanny way of helping people, having a psychiatrist, a father she called Daddy when she had a real father from another town. Natsume knew Mikan but at the same time, he felt lacking on the details of her past life.

"I'll tell you," Mikan replied and began her story.

"I was born and raised here in Akita, as you already know. That house that we went to earlier? That used to be my home. Izumi Sakura and Yuka Sakura are my parents. Our family owns this pottery shop located in front of our house that has been passed on for generations and it was my father's time to manage the business. He met my mother during a school field trip which included our shop. You see my mother was a teacher. They clicked right away, dated, and eventually got married. My mom had me on their fourth year of marriage because she always had abortions, something that really frustrated my parents. In short, when I was born, nothing made them happier. We were a normal family but the happiest. My dad loved my mother more than anything in the world. So much that I saw it in his eyes every single time he looked at mom. She brought him every ounce of happiness and she made such a warm home to come to."

"She sounds great. A lot like you."

Mikan smiled at the compliment but she wondered if she could live up to her mother's natural talent of being caring, warm, and accepting. Those were the best times in her life, a normal life as a child with childish problems. Mikan would cry because she scratched her knee after slipping then Yuka caressed her head, kissed her wound, and then put an ointment. The wound was there but the pain vanished because of her mother's magic kiss. It sounded like a fantasy but Mikan saw it as a fact, that her mother could heal all wounds. She saw Yuka working her magic on Izumi several times. One hug from Yuka then Izumi's foul mood turned into a good one. Mikan continued with her story with Natsume listening intently.

"The poster I talked to you about before? The photo of the beach? I saw it on display during my seventh birthday on this bookstore. I was entranced by it. I asked them to take me there because I've never been to the sea because we're in the mountains. My dad said next year, when you turn eight. And I looked forward to that. Like a gift that I kept on anticipating about. Subaru told you that winters here are the worst. He is right. My birthday came and it started snowing. They said to delay the trip because it's dangerous but I insisted. I cried, I kicked chairs, stomped my feet. So immature, Natsume. I yelled at my dad that he doesn't keep promises. That he's a liar. Mom stopped us from arguing and the trip came true. I was seated at the back of the car, looking at the snow feeling and at the same time wondered what the sea looks like. I bet it was beautiful. I looked at my dad focused on driving and then I looked at my mom caressing her tummy."

Natsume eye's squinted. "Was she pregnant?" he asked with a strong idea about the brother talked about in the train ride.

This was when Mikan's voice turned low, burying her head on her knees, assuming a fetal position. It was painful to go back to that day but for the sake of letting Natsume know, she would tolerate the pain those memories gave her. Natsume noticed the difference in her mood, sitting closer to her, telling her not to push it if she was not ready but Mikan saw the timing perfect. Since she was already into it, she rather finished it.

"She was already on her 36th week of pregnancy so if there was the perfect time for us to travel, it would be that time or else all their time would be devoted to my newest sibling. That's all selfishness. While going down, a big truck loaded with newly-cut trees slid on the road and crashed our car. My dad tried his best to avoid it, swerved from left to right or wherever he thought safe until we skid to the forest on the side of the road. I woke up with sirens, my dad bleeding but they said he was breathing, and my mom also soaked in blood. We were brought to the hospital and our relatives were already there with worried looks on their faces. They performed an emergency cesarean section to my mother because they had to save at least one life and that was the baby. She was almost dead when we arrived at the ER but the baby survived. My little brother was delivered and his name is Youichi. We had the same birthday."

The accident was indeed more than Natsume imagined. He was rendered speechless by the truth, eyes widened, failed to think of a follow up question because the gravity of the incident finally revealed itself. It hurt Natsume to think what hell Mikan went through after that day. No wonder she was so hesitant about riding cars and going to the sea but he pushed her into it without knowing the consequences of his actions. Good thing that nothing happened but what if something did? Natsume would never force Mikan to do something again without basic knowledge on why she refused to do something in the first place. Mikan cried after delivering that revelation but it was just inaudible tears, one that automatically escaped your eyes because subconsciously it still hurt like hell.

"Since then, my real father never looked once at me. It should have never happened. If only we departed a little earlier or later, we could have avoided this tragedy. I lost my whole family that day. Daddy would just cry at my presence then he'd go ballistic, saying I killed Mom. He took Youichi away from me and until now he doesn't know he has a sister. All those events were too much from me so I was referred to a child psychiatrist. Subaru came in the scene. I was diagnosed to have PTSD, General Anxiety Disorder, and Depression. Subaru feared that I might kill myself. Actually, it crossed my mind. But, he assigned me a confidant and that was Hotaru. She monitored me 24/7. I'd tell her my thoughts and she would just listen. Children tend to look for a playmate in times of difficulty and I found that in Hotaru, even more."

It also explained the extreme closeness Mikan had with her friends and how protective they were.

"How about Yuu? How did you meet him?" Natsume asked quickly.

"His mother was the community counselor that I was referred to when I moved here in Tokyo and suggested that I attend Yuu's school. We became close after Yuu defended me to the parents who argued my presence in the classroom. They thought that a child with mental issues should not mingle with normal people. Of course, the stigma back then was rampant. Yuu put them in their place."

"I can imagine Yuu doing that. The story on how you three formed your friendship is unconventional."

Mikan agreed. The tragedy connected them all three. "Do you want to know anything else?"

Natsume nodded. "I want to know your story about Miss Serina."

It did not miss Mikan to conclude that Natsume was too observant for his own good. If he noticed things this much and still did not trap her with questions, he really knew how to wait for the right time. Mikan loved that about him. Mikan straightened her legs which were starting to feel numb before continuing on with her story.

"Serina and I first met under a stressful circumstance. She and my then Uncle Narumi already had plans of settling down but I came into the scene and Uncle Narumi applied for legal guardianship which amounted to a big money plus the therapy and medications I had to take. There was also school and the sudden need of transferring to a suitable home because Dad used to live in a studio apartment. All the plans for the future that they formed, I changed it all. That's why Serina isn't fond of me. She became second priority to Dad and no one likes to be second best."

That rationalized the cold aura Serina exuded when he met her that night. Mikan's story straightened his ideas, all his questions finally were answered. The past was much more complicated than he thought. The mysterious vibe Mikan radiated had now an explanation. Honestly, Natsume felt overwhelmed with the amount of information and how personal all of these that Mikan shared with him.

"And then the rest was history?" Natsume asked.

Mikan raised an eyebrow, nodding with the ending Natsume gave. "I'm better now. I can ride cars, I saw the beach, I can face my father. I remember the accident everyday. The pain never actually went away but I have learned how to live with it."

Mikan stood up, dusting off her clothes while Natsume followed, offering his hand. "It is very nice finally knowing you, Mikan Sakura."

The action surprised Mikan but accepted the handshake. She did not know what exactly that handshake meant. If it meant they would continue being friends or it meant renewing their friendship. She quietly headed to the stairs leading her to Hotaru's room with Natsume being uncharacteristically taciturn. Mikan took a glimpse behind her just to see his reaction but his face was unreadable. When she pointed their way of exit, Natsume took the ladder downward first while Mikan followed. Biting her lip, Mikan could not assess the situation clearly now. Natsume waited at the end of the ladder to somehow catch her but Mikan stopped midway, her grip on the ladder tightened.

"Did it change?" Mikan asked.

"What?" Natsume asked, looking up. Mikan's position on the ladder made her slightly taller than him.

"How you see me?"

Natsume looked somber then declared after a few seconds, "You're braver than I thought."

"Thanks. That is such a nice compliment," Mikan said in relief then another thought occurred to her, asking, "The handshake? Does it mean we're still friends?"

Natsume gazed intently to her eyes. "I don't wanna be your friend."

"But, why?" Mikan asked, failing to understand his intentions.

Natsume smirked at the sudden change in her facial reaction then proceeded in poking her forehead. "Because you make my heart flutter, too."

It made her eyes widened, her mind confused, her heart in chaos causing her body to quiver. "Natsu –" she attempted to say but Natsume's lips on her was the faster action between the two.

Natsume slightly tiptoed to reach her lips since her current position put him inferior then his hands got busy travelling to her back, meeting there in a clasp while Mikan's arms entangled in his neck, kissing back. He carried her bridal style without disconnecting the kiss, their noses touched sending waved of spark to every corner of their bodies. It was a bad thing that Natsume did not know the geography of the room, making them stumble on the wall with Mikan's head hitting it slightly to which they only laughed. Mikan jumped off from his hold while Natsume busied himself encasing her with his body then they kissed again. He tucked Mikan's hair at the back of her ears to achieve a better look on her face glowing at the sunset's rays of light. Mikan, with her eyes closed, tracked Natsume's arms with her hands before finally settling in grasping his hair, making their faces closer, their position more intimate.

They travelled the room without much interrupting their kisses until Mikan sat on the bed and this time Natsume made chaste kisses in her forehead, a favorite spot of his, her nose, her neck, then back to her lips. Their gazed at each other, realizing how red they looked like and the meaning of their kisses finally waved to them. Mikan felt so happy that finally her confession was answered and in the sweetest way possible. She hugged Natsume tightly and he returned it with much passion. After months of stealing glances, worrying for each other, taking care of one another, they finally concluded their feelings. The safety the embrace provided them was enough to support the beginning of a new relationship. They were still friends and now they were also lovers. Heart fluttering moments like this would definitely be unforgettable.

Natsume knew that he liked Mikan a long time ago. He never felt this way towards any girl before and if someone like Mikan Sakura managed to snatch his peace or consistently made him think about her, then Natsume knew this was not just friendship. Ruka made him realize that, Luna's return intensified that though. His heart swelled because of his friends' support. If he made her stronger, then she made him change also. Turned him more understanding, helpful, mature, taking responsibility on his every decision. He would protect Mikan. He would not make her cry nor forsake her. He planned to stay by her side forever. They were good for one another. They made better versions of each other.

For a moment, Mikan forgot her problems and disappointing confrontation with Izumi. Her heart recovered from that blunder just because Natsume managed to convey his feelings well and if this was a feeling of love being reciprocated, then Mikan had no right to utter a single complaint no matter how many days it took. Natsume sat comfortably on the bed with a meek smile, their hands intertwined. No words were said after that but they only giggled, finding it funny that they liked each other ever since but decided to take action of it now. Their cute moment had come to an end though. A knock on the door boomed in the room which meant that Subaru came back. Mikan glanced at the clock. It was barely evening but the sun was already hidden in the horizon.

"Mikan! It's time!" Subaru yelled from the door.

The two only looked at each other with Natsume helping Mikan to stand up. Mikan slowly opened the door to see a Subaru with crossed arms, maybe felt impatient because she took her time before responding. Subaru's mouth gaped when Natsume followed Mikan's exit. He avoided to place a shock expression but Natsume already read through his moves.

"She just told me," Natsume said.

Subaru slowly nodded, happy that Mikan made the right decision. Natsume resumed his exit when Subaru made a reminder. "She's not insane if ever you have misconceptions about mental disorders."

Natsume turned his body to face the doctor. He answered in his usual deep voice and unquestionable tone, "I know and I don't care."

"Okay! It's good that you know."

With a nod, Natsume acknowledged Subaru's concern then an idea struck his head. To understand more of the situation, Natsume was willing to meet the man who started it all. "Hey! Can you arrange a meeting with Izumi Sakura for me?"

Mikan sat up straight from her stooped posture the moment Subaru entered the study. He entered in his usual pace of walking, opened the night lamp since the room was just dimly lit, then wore his glasses. Subaru had astigmatism which made it hard for him to look at lights but adapted to the condition by being religiously obedient to his ophthalmologist. Mikan waited for him to say something, kept her mind blank to avoid getting ahead of his introduction. Subaru took his time arranging his neat table before scrutinizing Mikan's reaction.

"You're blushing," Subaru said in the middle of quietness.

"I'm not!" Mikan lied but her hands automatically searched for her cheeks, avoiding Subaru's gaze.

"You know I am good in observing the human expression and behavior and you're blushing," Subaru added, putting Mikan in an embarrassing notion. When he noticed her attempt not to say more and thick sweat forming on her forehead, Subaru ended the teasing spree with, "But, that's not what you came here for."

Mikan sighed in relief then said, "Let's begin."

Subaru snickered. "How are you feeling after all that?"

The retreat in Akita was over. Natsume unloaded their baggages from the trunk while Mikan checked their online tickets if they arrived on time. Another long trip with their loved ones waiting on the other side. Subaru noted the difference in body language and closer distance between the two from the time they came here and now they were going back with proved one thing, they were more tender with each other. The two kept on smiling and giggling over breakfast although nothing comedic happened. Subaru hoped that Mikan would not forget the actual problem once she was back in Tokyo. Izumi could still continue with the selling of the house despite Mikan's argument from yesterday. Subaru then revealed he would be visiting in Tokyo next week to finalize the plans regarding Izumi, a gesture Mikan thanked several times for. He also communicated with Natsume through looks after their brief conversation yesterday.

They reached the check in area where the two stood side by side, bowing at Subaru for taking good care of them while they were away from their comfort zone. Subaru blushed at the action, waving his hand as he said you're welcome. The number of times Subaru had visitors was closed to zero so having Mikan and Natsume invading his home for three short days entertained him. He liked cooking for others and he was able to do that. He liked talking to old friends which she considered Mikan to be. He also liked to commend the way Mikan treated him this time. She was not avoiding him and instead confronted him several times. What a big change, indeed.

"Keep safe and keep your hands to yourself," Subaru reminded, aiming his look at Natsume.

Mikan reddened in embarrassment. "Subaru!" she yelled, which she already lost count on how many times she uttered since they came here.

"Did you really get a degree in Medicine?" Natsume asked in suspicion.

"Yes, top of the class."

Natsume rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Subaru laughed then turned serious. "I know things are still messy but school is important. I don't want you to spend more time being idle here."

"You told me that last night thousand of times," Mikan groaned.

"A reminder would never hurt," Subaru added out of concern then pointed behind them, "Go on. Your train is about to arrive."

"Thanks for everything, Subaru. I'll be back."

Subaru would wait for Mikan to be victorious. He bid them one last farewell before going home with the hope that time would serve them well. Mikan had to be aware that if there was a time to take action, it had to be now. Good thing she knew what to do. Staring at strangers who walked around the station, arriving and departing with stoic faces, Mikan knew that one day she needed to be home, where she was born and raised. One day she had to choose where she would spent the rest of her life. Natsume interrupted her train of thoughts by placing a warm drink on her hands, it was cocoa. Mikan smiled and took a sip while Natsume did the same with his tea.

"Are you excited to go back to Tokyo?" Natsume asked.

Mikan shrugged her shoulders. "I want to rest and sleep, actually."

"You can do that in the train."

Certainly, she could and his arms provided her comfort like her bed in Tokyo. She halted Natsume from walking by grabbing his arm, making him turn. Mikan took the opportunity to say her gratitude.

"Thank you for accompanying me, Natsume."

Natsume felt the sincerity of her appreciativeness. They achieved pretty nice things while being here in Akita. They were headed to Tokyo where Kaoru and Luna were waiting for his next move. He also had to tell Ioran about this and of course, their friends who did not disturb them the whole trip. They were coming back to reality.

"I'd do anything for you, Polka."

Anything for her and Mikan was thinking the same.

End of Chapter

I am so loving the conversations between Natsume and Mikan. I don't know if I'm being biased but I can't help but compare the way I wrote those two in my previous stories, I like them more here. Before, I had the habit of only making quick, shallow, short moments between them to develop their story but in here, they're more lovable. Haha. Thank you for your support on this journey I am about to take, the exam I mean. Next chapter will be focused on the past. Show, not tell, am I right? :D But, that might take longer to be published because I am dedicating the incoming two months solely to my study. I just don't want to interrupt the momentum of the story that why I made time to update. Hope you liked this one. Tell me your thoughts. : )