Something You've Read Before

Chapter Thirty three

Marvelous Times

Ioran reflected what was wrong on his way of doing things that he kept on disappointing his children. His passiveness resulted in losing Aoi's fondness of him that even after years passed, their relationship remained cold. He tried being an active participant this time but it still ended up with him driving his own son to heartbreak. The moment Kaoru invited them to visit the Igarashi's main house, Izumi knew that it was about to end and the more painful thing was Natsume knew it also. Judging by Mikan and Natsume's odd body language, the decision was already made even before they started this trip. Ioran looked through the rearview mirror, observing the pair as if he wanted to say something but he just let Natsume sit beside Mikan, holding each other's hand.

The trip turned quiet as they approached their destination. Even the intentional slowing down of the speed did not serve more time. Ioran held his breath when they reached the main entrance composed of at least a 15-foot tall gate painted in matte black surrounded by five security cameras. Ioran said his greeting through the screen which took his picture. He obviously was familiar with the process and soon the car started going uphill, traversing the smooth road covered by skeleton trees due to winter, dusted with the dried leaves of autumn. Winter was almost here and it was coming in a manner where no one would realize it was there until it happened. Although, it was entirely different for Mikan since she always knew winter was always there, never leaving, and it rarely came with good news. Natsume's warmth piqued her sole interest from the way he briefly brushed his fingers to hers. Without looking at Natsume, she also returned the touch by holding his hand tighter.

Mikan remembered the kiss earlier, how it was so bittersweet that she almost cried on the spot but took everything inside her to refrain from doing so because that might shake their current state of mind. They exchanged smiles after pulling apart and it was a genuine one, gratefulness expressed in the corners of their lips and in the manner their eyes twinkled. It lasted under ten seconds but it summarized what they felt for each other in general. The car stopped which was their signal to break their hold, nodding at each other before exiting the car with determined looks. Everything they did that day was done in pairs as if their souls intertwined and planned to react on things without any difference.

Ioran stated that it was better for him to just stay in the car instead of accompanying them inside which the couple agreed. The ground was filled with rocks in the gray palette which was taken from a specific river as per Natsume's explanation. Mikan showed her understanding by completely looking at the rocks which she stepped on, the way their disintegrate upon her weight, being displaced with her every move. She noticed that the rocks did not go too far but being tossed repeatedly by humans must have brought them far from their original place. They stopped before a wooden door which was less bigger than the main gate but unlike the first one, it did not need any high-technology interference and Natsume simply pushed it to open and that was the time Mikan's jaw almost dropped.

Mikan placed her hands in her chest, admiring the house from the farthest she could see. "Wow. I've never been to a traditional Japanese house at this extent. It feels like I'm in a movie set."

"A horror movie that's for sure."

Mikan hit Natsume in the shoulder for the remark, snorting because of the successful punchline. They began entering the enemy's lair by changing their outside shoes with a customized and most comfortable slippers Mikan ever wore in her life. It was as if the slippers itself sent a message to intimidate Mikan's average status in life although that was probably not the intention and they were surely offered to everyone. If anything, this huge home situated in a much larger land made her realized that Natsume was indeed not living on a mundane background. Sophistication bedazzled everywhere and the old ways of old money like the Igarashis were evident in every corner of each house, on how the staff acted, and the surroundings itself. This was far from the modernized design of Natsume's huge home and indeed something seen only in movies. Mikan thought that places like this only existed as temples and not as actual homes. She had been experiencing the Tokyo as a city for so long. Even the houses of the considered wealthy people in Akita had no say on how intricate this main house was.

The entrance hall could at least hold five people in distance simultaneously removing their outside shoes and this already made a lasting impression to Mikan. The house was just as amazing from the outside. As Mikan continued to be mesmerized by the setup, Natsume pointed that they should follow the lady with the tidiest bun out of all the staff, clad in black skirt and long sleeves coat. There was a slight wondering in Mikan if their casual outfits were alright because everybody seemed formally dressed but if Natsume had no care, then she did the same. Mikan's head moved from left to right to keep from missing the beautiful points of the home like the paintings, the pots and ceramics, the garden with pond at the center of the house.

A sliding door was opened and the usher said, "Miss Kaoru is waiting for you."

Natsume and Mikan entered what to be an another dimension inside the house because it was colored darker from the tatami mats, the fusuma cloth used for the doors, and to the distinct yellow, miserable lighting. A few steps of stairs was prosed ahead, maybe three meters from where they just entered, which the two stared at with their faces saying that this walk was near its end. Only a small amount of natural light entered the room so the semi-darkness made it hard to see each other's faces but easier to say the feelings welling up in their hearts. Natsume did not mean to stare awkwardly but when his eyes met Mikan's, he could not help but fake a cough to lighten the atmosphere. Naturally, this was not missed by Mikan so she did her best to return the atmosphere to its usual state by breaking the silence.

"Meeting your mother has always been a surprise circumstance. I think this is the first time when I'm seeing her because I want to."

Natsume smirked at Mikan's remark, his head down while his hand reached for Mikan's. "Can we walk slowly?" he asked quietly.

Mikan got nervous but for the wrong reason. "Why? Are the floors here that sensitive?"

This time Natsume giggled. "No, just to be with you longer."

A smile erupted from Mikan's mouth. "Okay," she said and held Natsume's hand properly.

"I've also realized that we never confronted your mother together," Mikan pointed out as she took her first, slow step.

Natsume followed her, tilting his head slightly with the statement. "I have a different idea when it comes to confronting her and this is not it."

"You are partly right," Mikan jested, "Because this is not confrontation but a nice conversation waiting to happen."

They exchanged knowing looks and laughed again until tears escaped their eyes. Both Natsume and Mikan knew that the tears were not purely from giggling but also from the nervousness present in their being. Mikan was about to walk ahead but Natsume stopped her.

"Polka, I don't know what will happen after here." He meant that there was no assurance once they opened that door, anything could happen, that what they originally planned could alter because of a single change. "But, you'll always have me and I will always have you."

It was a sweet promise which relaxed Mikan. She was always the first one to believe in whatever Natsume said and that did not change despite what happened. Natsume initiated opening the door, half-closing their eyes as they were greeted by a blinding light because of the wide windows covered in porous paper where sun rays passed through. When Natsume's eyesight adapted from the light, the first thing he saw was the smoke coming from Kaoru's cup of tea. Kaoru had her legs crossed which was changed soon because she stood up to greet her visitors, the light illuminated her image which made Natsume grimaced. His mother's height was apparently a few centimeters shorter than his even with heels so the towering feeling he had when they went face to face already began its magic of making him feel more confident and stronger. Even though Natsume did not come here for a competition whether who had more confidence, it sure helped his image of being dependable.

"Kaoru."

Kaoru had a smile on her face when her son called for him, her hands opened wide as if accepting their arrival wholeheartedly. She nodded upon seeing Mikan then her expression changed when she stood a few inches before Natsume. Her smile turned into a frown, kissing Natsume in the cheeks and taking him for a hug. "Finally, you have arrived. I prepared the nicest tea in the house and bought cakes from my favorite hotel." Her voice bipolar in Natsume's ears. "Natsume, dear, you should not have come here," she whispered.

The warning got ignored as Natsume replied, "Mikan's here to have a conversation with you."

Both of Kaoru's arms were crossed now as her gaze directed to Mikan. "And I want to sincerely ask why."

Mikan got the message that they were breaking Kaoru's expectations one by one and this was just the beginning. Kaoru expected that they came here to talk to her with aggressiveness but they showed nothing of sorts. "Because all our past interactions were always ignited by your temper and so I initiated this one. Let's talk. Just the two of us."

Natsume let out a deep breath when the door closed in his face. He was undoubtedly proud of Mikan for taking this grown up choice of facing Kaoru instead of running away from her. Imagine if Mikan pushed them to leave everything behind, who knew how much Natsume would agree in a heartbeat? As his vision of Mikan and Kaoru completely blocked by the door, he could just place all his confidence that Mikan would do what she did best and that was to leave a mark on every person she meant to help. No more sound coming from the room and he was left all alone but nothing caused him to be lonely. If Mikan had a purpose for coming here, he must achieve something on his ends, too.

The door clicked and everyone knew that it meant not to disturb this talk. Kaoru turned around and calmly offered Mikan a seat. She agreed to speak with Mikan not because of the possibility that they might reach an understanding but for the sake of Natsume. This was one of those rare times when Natsume was the one approaching her, not the other way around. She eyed Mikan from head to toe then back to Mikan's eyes where the fieriness was still fresh on Kaoru's mind from their last encounter. In actuality, Kaoru expected them to meet again because of the little episode she did with the Sakuras but for Mikan to be actually inside this compound, so near the elders, Kaoru could only think that they should not have come here. Natsume was not supposed to be here. If only Ioran did not take her by surprise and acted honestly, then she would not be tricked.

"I thought you are here to grab my hair and push me to the ground like the ill-mannered girl you presented to be."

"It was just a steak," Mikan reminisced, feeling a peck of frustration with that first encounter that Kaoru kept on reminding her. "Honestly, I think I lost my mind for wanting to see you. We both know that this will only lead to a fight and I am so angry of you for involving my family."

Kaoru hurled an amused laugh. "Dear, didn't you get the warning? You must know. They must have told you," she drawled in sarcasm, "Alright. So, what do you want to gain for seeing me?"

Looking straight to Kaoru Hyuuga's eyes was forbidden. At least to her employees who had an open secret that once you looked at her straight in the eye, you could kiss your career goodbye because it was considered rude. So, everyone was used to bowing at her, speaking with eyes somewhat lowered to the ground, fidgeting onto its six cardinal directions and only calming when Kaoru left the room. Mikan always did things which looked uncouth for Kaoru but normal for the brunette and it included gazing directly at Kaoru Hyuuga's eyes. It was done to express Mikan's sincerity on her next words in case Kaoru did not believe an inch of her sentences.

"I want to know where you are coming from. Why? Why are you like this? Why did you become like this?" Mikan said it quickly that she wondered why she got nervous for telling the truth. Maybe because it was not expected of her, to care for Kaoru.

Kaoru had a hard time choosing on what initial reaction she should illustrate. Upon hearing the reason, she wanted to laugh to the point of mocking Mikan. Lastly, Kaoru wanted to ask what entered on Mikan's mind. The statement came like an insult to her, demeaning of sorts due to the tone of voice Mikan used like she was someone that needed therapy. And, Kaoru had never been questioned on why she was the way she was. "You must be crazy for thinking that I will spill my life story to you. And for what? Are you expecting that it will make me support your relationship with my son?"

"No. That's not it."

Did Mikan lie about that? She hoped that if she somehow made Kaoru talk about her feelings buried inside then they could find even one thing they could relate with each other. Everybody had frustrations and everyone had an experience he could share with someone only to find out that they went through the same thing. Mikan hoped that a breakthrough would appear to facilitate the success she aimed but as usual, it was never easy to talk to Kaoru. There was always this resisting force between them. Two points from opposite poles was perfect description of their views in life. Mikan tried to come up with a list of what they had in common and she came up with a few things like they both cared for Natsume and they were both stubborn. That was a good beginning.

"I keep wondering what my son saw in you. I guessed he found freedom," Kaoru was walking around the room when she said this until she paused and looked at Mikan, "False freedom."

Natsume had several occasions when he talked about being caged in the family he had. Though, he never mentioned about wanting to completely cut off ties with them and if anything, he wanted to change the system for the next generation. The freedom Natsume wanted was the right to choose for himself without the interference or influence of others. That no matter what path he took, who he became friends with, or whichever girl he came to like, his family would just let him be. If Mikan gave that chance to Natsume unintentionally, she had no power over it. Definitely not false freedom but a ray of hope.

Maybe Natsume was the type of guy who enjoyed talking about mundane things rather than who to marry to gain more power. Maybe Natsume enjoyed eating food without categorizing its taste and presentation then tell others if he liked it or not. Natsume was the type of person who loved hanging out with his friends, talking about stuff boys highly relate to like sports, videogames, and girls. He never expressed any interest on tea ceremonies, art exhibition, and what foundation they should sponsor next. Natsume liked being a student leader because it abled him to reform the school and let the students experience the best time of their lives plus he got to be with his friends despite all the issues. Definitely not false freedom. It was freedom in a sense that Natsume could freely decide, act on his decisions, and be responsible for it.

"Trust me, I am not in any way liberating. Natsume and I just found each other. There's no need for grand words or unworldly explanation, Kaoru. It just happened that we fell in love and being in love makes you feel like you can do anything. You must know," Mikan said as she rose up from her seat, clutching the hem of her shirt, "You felt it."

"Natsume does not need to listen to anyone but his family and that's me," Kaoru said with grit. "Growing in this family is more of a curse than a blessing. Being the youngest and a woman put me on many disadvantages, Mikan Sakura. Families like the Igarashis and the Hyuugas follow a strict tradition. We value our bloodline, connections, our image, and our dignity more than anything else. There is no place to go for us but up. We will never be contented with just being here and the choice to be more is what keeps us going. I fought hard to get where I am today and it's all about hard work. I worked hard for my children not to experience the suffering and discrimination I faced. So, I earned all the right to guide him where his life can be better."

It felt vibrant inside when Kaoru said her piece in that very room where she heard all her failures being enumerated by her own mother. All of her achievements overshadowed by minor errors. Many times she wanted to yell out of frustration on why her best was not enough but she controlled her emotions in order not to blow up because that could be interpreted as weakness. No one knew that this was how her own family treated her growing up, not even Ioran. Then, she wondered what if Ioran knew? Or maybe Ioran knew and he just chose to do nothing? Kaoru groaned, hating herself for thinking about him at this time.

"But, don't you think I am doing the same? The only difference is that our goals are different."

Mikan did not come from a prestigious family but she too had struggled all her life to be accepted. Maybe that was another addition on the things she commonly shared with Kaoru and she wanted to use that to break Kaoru's wall.

"You seem to forget who Natsume is. Obviously, he is the next heir of these two big clans. He was brought up that way and it will be his destiny to inherit everything and continue the legacy."

Mikan shook her head since Kaoru was still far from understanding. "Well, does Natsume want that?" she asked and Kaoru did not reply immediately.

"It doesn't matter what he wants. He has to accept his destiny."

Mikan stomped her feet, clenching her fists in midair out of severe frustration. They were going in circles and it was already becoming a burdened feeling to the point that she wanted to throw Kaoru's precious books to the window then burn them to ashes. "You never asked him what he wanted! That's your very chance to break through him. Kaoru, you have to consider him first. Which part of that don't you get? Seriously! I thought you are a critical thinker!"

"I guess that's where you are wrong. We have different ways of caring and this is my way! You don't know the elders. They can ruin you until you give up, until you have no choice but to nod on their demands. Aoi's situation was their very idea and it worked. I just implemented everything. What's that look? Are you belittling me?"

Mikan refused to accept the situation. It was not reason enough to control a person's happiness. "You're a puppet. You should support your children, not destroy their happiness."

"If being a puppet brings your child a career, a stable future, then I would be proud of doing so. You've seen Aoi and how well she looked."

Mikan was almost crying at this point, helplessness succumbing her being as she fought for people who did not continue to fight for their own. "Kaoru, don't you see? She could find happiness without you destroying another's life. She could be happy with that man."

"They had never been wrong."

The elders were always right, they had never been wrong. Their decisions seemed unfair but it was always for the better as if they had predicted the endgame accurately. Kaoru believed that but she still did not want Natsume to be under their care. It was her own little way of giving him freedom. All her life she was torn with that biasness. She had to act the perfect daughter for them to continue entrusting her of Natsume's welfare. She followed everything they told her to do so, applied their teachings in life and in work, mingled with people they told could bring her developments in any aspect from politics to education. If diligence was measured then Kaoru was the epitome of it. Or, was she really? If her real motives were revealed, she would be punished instantly.

"Can you still say that when your family is in shambles? Are you proud of messing with my family, manipulating a whole school? Is that how you want Natsume to see you? He cares about Alice Academy, he cares about his friends, and he cares about you. But, you don't want to give him the opportunity to mend what you have. You always push him away by doing the very things he hate. Kaoru, this is not about how your family brought you up. This is already how you act as a mother."

"This is my way and I don't regret any of my actions. You don't understand. This is the only way so they will not touch him."

As a means of protecting her children from being treated the same way she did, she absorbed it all. She let them considered her the enemy, the conspirator of every bad thing that happened to her ex-husband, her daughter, and now her son. Kaoru was unapologetic about Luna, Alice Academy, the Photography Club, Aoi because she did her best to cushion the effect, to block the worst. She remembered Ioran and how he accepted all of her and hoped splendidly that he could change this side of her but failed miserably until they no longer understood each other. Independence and freedom were things Ioran proposed to her and she feared it because no one could ever turn their back on the family which molded her and could destroy her once she was out.

"Who, Kaoru?" asked Mikan as she tried to guess who was Kaoru talking about.

The sudden bloom of distress in Kaoru's eyes told Mikan that it was not something to take lightly, that it frightened the Hyuuga longer than it should. Mikan followed Kaoru's frazzled gaze, surprised as to why she showed anxiety in her own territory. Taking another look of the house from her recent memory, Mikan still found it beautiful in every inch but when you delve into the stories stored in this house, it might not be as stunning as it looked after all. Kaoru repeatedly talking about her struggles of growing up, doing all she could just to please her the elders and her parents. In her stature now, it surely was exhausting to always look for an approval.

Kaoru hated that her hands were shaking, hated that it was fear which motivated her to become like this and not something positive. She spat a look of anger to Mikan who was staring at her with confusion mixed with concern that agitated Kaoru even more. Why did this girl from nowhere suddenly stir up her untouchable image? This felt similar to that day when Ioran finally admitted that he was filing for divorce. Kaoru speculated it for weeks, trying to find evidences on his move of divorce and feeling in denial at the same time. Because if there was a decision not dictated to her by anyone, it was to love Ioran without a fragment of doubt. And him leaving hurt a lot more than the feeling of abandonment Kaoru felt from her parents for favoring more her male cousins. She felt scared that day and she felt scared today because her darkest secrets escaped from her locked up heart. The foreign feeling of opening up her reservations to someone whose life she was trying to destroy was already peculiar in its own way.

"No one can trample them, not even me."

Mikan relaxed Kaoru by gesturing her to take a deep breath then placed both hands on her side when she realized what Kaoru tried to say. "Ah, you're afraid that they will take Natsume and make him like you." When the words left Mikan's mouth, she only let out huffs of disbelief, smiling in spite. Shaking her head, she realized that parents had their own weird ways of protecting their children. They all had reasons which were not fair for others but justifiable in their own reasoning. "You're afraid for Natsume," Mikan finished.

"Yes," Kaoru admitted, "I don't want him to be fully invested in this family and the only way to do that is to be under my care where I can control the people he meet, the choices he makes."

"But, Kaoru, don't you realize something by now? Natsume doesn't follow you because he keeps on being unheard. He had no voice when it comes to you and he wants you to listen. Maybe this is not the only way and if you face this as mother and son, then you can beat anyone, even the elders. You can't always do things alone. You have your own family to support you."

Mikan's words froze Kaoru's movements. In the beginning, Kaoru was taking care of not falling into Mikan's hearty speeches and words that made her question her own actions but she started seeing the teenager's point. It was laughable how a mere girl from Akita whose mental health she questioned was now giving her advices. Kaoru took comfort from the sturdy chair behind her, tapping her hand on the handle to displace her uncertainty. She looked up to see Mikan who remained in her position, still looking straight at her with no judgement seen in her brown eyes.

Mikan was no longer physically present. Natsume stared at the cold door for a minute before accepting the fact that the moment he let Mikan with his mother, it would be the finale. The admiration he had for Mikan tripled on this day even if he was not fully convinced with her ways but thinking about it on the long run, maybe she was right and this was the only way. Natsume turned his heels to depart by stairs and exited the lonely hall, opening door after the other, walking through hallways made of the finest tatami mats. He asked for directions twice because memorizing the place was last in his list of priorities. This day must not be wasted. Something had to be done from his side.

Natsume meant to talk with the mastermind of all this. Mikan might consider Kaoru her personal difficulty but Natsume had another person in mind. He was smart enough to figure out that Kaoru intentionally made him stay away from them. Even in family events, he was asked to be as discreet as possible. His childhood barely had any presence of his grandparents and other heads of the clan. He passed by the bridge of the koi pond, resilient bamboo trees appeared on both sides of the stony path. The place was becoming familiar each second and behind this last door was where he could meet her. He slid the door, changed another slippers because he knew she was irritatingly clean like that, and made his presence known.

"Grandmother."

They were facing each other with knowing looks that they knew meeting today was inevitable. Natsume immediately noticed that his grandmother was puffing another stick of tobacco, setting it aside when she saw him, full attention now at the cold tea on her right. She was reading old scrolls of the family, determining measures for preservation, her assistant on her left scribbling with a notebook and pen. The whole room smelled of nicotine, an old rose perfume, of winter, and ancient books. She was wearing a yukata customized for winter, hair on its neatest and most minimal arrangement. Natsume knew that modernity failed to penetrate his grandmother's life. It was always about tradition, the ways of the ancestors. Natsume saw all of those as a big joke. Times changed and he must change his family along with it.

Grandma Igarashi ordered to remove all the scrolls, clearing the table until only tea was left and the ashes of the tobacco. Natsume sat before her, the family portrait in ink catching his attention for a little bit until he rested his eyes to his oldest relative. Facing his grandmother was always a unique experience. It felt more like meeting her was a business meeting rather than a grandmother meeting her grandchild. They barely talked, their interactions were always distant and non-interactive after all. Natsume satisfied himself by wondering what his grandmother could do from afar, calculating her moves from the rise of her cheek up to the way she wore her shoes. A close relative shrouded in mystery and it did not help that Kaoru barely talked about her apart from the terrible things she could do.

"It's been long, Natsume. How have you been?"

Natsume was more than willing to answer.

"Still, stay away from Natsume." It came out as tenacious as before, nothing changed in that. "There is nothing about my son being with you that could change my mind," Kaoru added.

That was not the intention, Mikan wanted to explain but she kept it to herself. She did not come here all the way to ask for permission to date her son, that should not be asked at all. Mikan came here to know a side of Kaoru Hyuuga that magazines and newspapers never mentioned, that stories of her employees did not bother to discover, the side that Kaoru refused to show to her family. Mikan liked to think that she was successful in doing so.

"I know. At least, that's what I used to know," Mikan said while nodding in the understanding that formed in her mind. Words were still hanging in Mikan's mouth but chose not to add anything although she had questions and this was the only chance left to ask those. "If I am a girl from a rich and known family, I bet you will treat me better."

Kaoru did not like it when people tagged her as someone who cared so much with family backgrounds and wealth but money and influence were great weapons in order not to stir the elders' attention. They married for power, for expansion of business although they did not really need it at the moment. They fixed marriages for future purposes and it worked almost all the time. They stayed in such a high position because of their tactics in and outside of the business.

"But, you are not. Your very existence is an eyesore to the elders. You have nothing that will impress them, Mikan Sakura. I am sorry to say this but they think you are worth nothing and when they see you like that, I also concur. You have nothing to offer to Natsume and to this clan. You are a stumbling block to my son's future. What can you do for him? Can your love fill his stomach? Does happiness fulfill dreams? I think not. Practicality makes us live," Kaoru explained, back to her usual cold and intimidating tone of voice, "If I am afraid of them, what can you do? Can you save my son from them? And this is just the Igarashis. What do you think about the Hyuugas? That they are more lenient? When the time comes that Natsume turns his back from all of them is also the time that his future ends. Can you say that you can give him a new one? Are you that capable when you can't fix your own family?"

Everything said just now held veracity and Mikan admitted it to herself a long time ago that she was not a superwoman skillful of everything. Taking it one day at time was the method she proceeded to and even if the results took longer than she hoped, at least there was improvement. Mikan remembered images of Natsume talking to a large crowd back in Glassroots, him talking to a smaller crowd in a classroom, him reviving the Photography Club by overseeing it personally. The time when Natsume had fun with Daichi and other members of the Sports Club, him cleaning the gym, then acing all his exams the next month. When Mikan and Natsume were engaged in serious conversations, it never failed in being sensible and worthwhile, a proof that experiences from childhood helped them in being considerate and selfless.

Mikan opened her mouth a little but thought twice on how to state her feelings. She covered her mouth with her hand and smiled like she remembered something from the past. "I am not his savior. Natsume is more than capable of saving himself. He is more than that and I hope you see it." She remembered Natsume taking the train home to see her because she was feeling down. He was her savior.

That had been repeatedly been stated in their talk today and Kaoru already grasped that. "And what if it's a success? You'll take the credit? Do you honestly think that I can accept you?"

The smile in Mikan's face continued. "I am not desperate for your acceptance. I came here for two things. First, I want you to stay away from my loved ones. Stop making yourself the bad guy when you don't have to. From now on, you will not gain anything from hurting the people I love."

Kaoru crossed her legs, eyes on the window which served no view of the beautiful landscape outside. She smirked upon knowing Mikan's reason for coming here. "Do you mean you father who is a teacher at the academy, his fiancée working abroad, your real father who is swimming in debts, your brother who grew up from a dysfunctional family, your silly friends from school? The elders can change their lives forever if you don't stay away from my son and I am not lying about this. This is not a threat but a reality that will happen if you do not stop this nonsense. Narumi Sakura might lose his job and the future he is dreaming of by just calling some people. You must understand by now what they can do and you only need to do one thing to avoid destroying your family."

Mikan did not know why she cried upon the mention of her family and her wonderful friends. They were all in the list, it appeared. It was only a matter of time before they face the wrath of the Igrashis or the Hyuugas or the both of them and her conscience could only take so much. Just because of they fell in love. It was so bittersweet and it was the most confusing feeling ever. You wanted to fight for what you feel, the plan from the start, and then when you started seeing people being affected as well, people that you love, it really made her think twice.

"Natsume and I broke up," Mikan revealed, "This is for the best. Stay away from Alice Academy, from our friends, from my family. And tell them to let Natsume live the life he wants and that is the second thing I came here for."

They did not meet for greetings and Natsume surely was not interested in knowing the things which kept his grandmother busy. He came her for one thing and that was to cut the root cause of all evil. Kaoru said it before that he would not like it when he faced the elders and now he was facing the most powerful of them, Natsume felt adrenaline rushing in his veins. He was alert, thriving, sure that he would be able to relay his message to her today. The humping of his heart felt higher than normal but it made him more eager, unrelenting. What he felt that day was the cumulative bravery he earned on the many times that fate tested him. He did not fully consider his grandmother an enemy, he just needed to change her perspective so she would allow him a wider movement, a broader mind.

An attempt to light up another tobacco was done but Natsume stole the stick and threw it somewhere. He said that it was bad for both of their health in a menacing tone. The elderly took another one and Natsume did just the same. It was a childish act but it was an opportunity to show power. Grandma Igarashi laughed out of annoyance, nodding as she followed what Natsume wanted and victimized the tea instead.

"Your mother did a great job of keeping you away from us so I am surprised that it is you who come running here instead."

Natsume must be out of his mind to confront her of all people, in all places. He compared it to a suicide where you get all or nothing. Although, fear seemed to fear visiting him today. All he had was the pain inside him and converting it to motivation in order not to be hurt further. His father leaving him, Kaoru playing hopeless all the time, Aoi choosing to be silent, and Mikan prioritizing others. Natsume gave his all, more than what he thought he could do, more than what was expected from him. He protected Mikan on the best way he knew and still did not made her stay. Well, who could love freely when you knew that the people around you were suffering? That was why this must end. End the power tripping and just let your emotions out.

"Because I don't want to lose. I want to be as courageous as her. I want to prove her point."

The grandmother almost spat her drink, laughing maniacally. Her eyes rolled, neck extending with the veins bulging from the left and right. The sarcastic laugh brought out more the folds in her face, ageing clearly getting the best of her. "Are you talking about this ridiculous girlfriend that Kaoru can't get rid of?" she mocked.

"Nothing about Mikan is ridiculous," Natsume groaned, "She's more than that."

She was done entertaining herself with Natsume's words, returning to her manipulative and dictator self. "It's a spell, my grandson. Wake up. You're young and there are others who are better than her."

Some girl richer, smarter, more beautiful, kinder might come along. Those descriptions already belonged to Mikan in a superlative form. Clearly, this was love blinding him but it did not mean that it was less than true. He was still well-aware of Mikan's bad points which were still beautiful because her imperfections made her so strong and admirable. At this point, Natsume had no interest in meeting anyone that could replace Mikan. It was simply unthinkable.

"I am the only one who can tell who is better for me. Not you, not even Kaoru," Natsume said, "I am here to make you an offer."

The atmosphere calmed down a bit with the proposition. Grandma Igarashi liked making deals especially if she knew she got it on the bag without even trying but she was careful enough no to underestimate her 18-year old grandson. "All ears," she said with a smile, "It's not every day I hear you this daring, Natsume. We barely even exchanged sentences all these years!"

Natsume's future was hazy as it was promising. He was in the end of both lines, confused and not moving because his decision might be wrong. But, Mikan said he could be anything he wanted. He thought of following Ioran but realized that growth was found in the person and not in a place. He thought of eloping with Mikan but it was such a selfish act that could end in tragedy. He thought of pursuing an entirely different career from business just to insult his family. Everything was about running away. Natsume studied it before he went to sleep, his future, and with Mikan's words, he now knew.

"I will run the company. I will be its next heir."

Grandma Igarashi hated the way how Natsume said it proudly causing her to hit the table repeatedly. "Do you think we're still considering you?" she retorted.

This was when Natsume smirked, enjoying that he was stirring his grandmother's composure. "Then, are you willing to give it to an unborn child?" He meant Aoi's future child, "Or to a relative whom you have a more distant relationship compared to us? You may be old but you're wise. I am clearly the best choice and your only one. That is why you try so hard to control my life."

The old lady was forced to think of the probabilities Natsume laid. She already lost a lot by not bearing a son and now her own grandson did not hide his despise of her. Rebellion was apparent in Natsume's eyes that even if he was the best choice out of all the candidates, Grandma Igarashi had second thoughts because she definitely knew that Natsume had no interest in listening to them. Natsume had the potential to make decisions out of the usual for the company and the family. She tapped a finger on the table, challenging Natsume through her grit and wit. This was not supposed to happen if only Kaoru had not had her way.

"This is the result of the insolence of your mother! How dare you mock me by telling me what to do?"

Natsume stayed calm even though Kaoru was directly insulted. He still hurt for his mother because he knew how much was invested just to please them. "In return, stay away from my friends, from my decisions, from my choices."

"No."

"Yes, you will," Natsume insisted, standing up and stepped around the room. He did not know how long his bravery could last and the absence of fear that he might lose everything invited him to be more demanding. "I will never be like Kaoru who cannot free herself from the cages you built around her. I will not let you ruin my life anymore. This is enough, today was the last straw."

"You're a fool, an insolent brat! Do you think you can survive without our support?"

"Is that the best you could do? Call me names? Threaten me?" Natsume drew a laugh out of mocker to the point that his eyes teared a bit, "You know I am right and the least you could do is consider my offer."

Grandma Igarashi fumed, her nose and mouth blowing up, silvery eyebrows almost meeting at the middle. "We should have never let you get out from this place."

But, he already did. Kaoru at least did something right now that Natsume thought about it. He imagined the way Kaoru pleaded them to supervise his formative years and he wondered if it was her own decision or Ioran played a part of it. Natsume took another look at the family painting drawn intricately using soft brushes and the blackest of ink. What kind of family prioritized the world before their own? Should not they be always supporting each other? Why did Mikan, who had been pushed away by her father many times, still longed to be with her own family? Why, despite of the pain, Mikan still wanted to hug them? Natsume froze on the spot. He wanted to fight like that also but the circumstances for him were different.

Natsume wanted to blame something or someone but the fact that everybody had its own uniqueness and the same went for his family overtook his regrets. Still, he would like it very much to save what remained in him. Even now, Natsume already considered it as a lot of work so maybe Mikan had a point. That they needed to focus on saving others, saving themselves before saving their love. It hurt a lot. Natsume tore his gaze from the painting, closing his eyes as he focused on his breath. It hurt that they could not continue their love story while fixing their problems. The writhing physical pain which travelled in his chest sprouted at the very thought of him and Mikan breaking up that day.

The words were not said as it should like 'Let's break up' but it still terrified his heart to the point that he could not say anything but hug her because the fear came true, the fear of losing her. Natsume wanted to ask her what happened with all of her words of fighting for their love until the end but he did not do so. He knew the answer even without inquiring about it. Life was unpredictable and nobody could be certain of anything. Once you put others before you, everything would change. Natsume agreed because he saw her point and he understood her.

"I'll see you in a few years, Grandmother."

Kaoru was granted speechless for a moment. Gone were the persistent replies from Mikan about fighting until the end. The ending was still the same but thanks to the demands Mikan laid down, Kaoru knew that they had thought of this carefully. She watched Mikan, the girl who always talked back and stared at her with scorching eyes, now looked so fragile. One snap and Mikan looked like she was about to fall but the tears were no more although sadness poured in her orbs. Kaoru was so determined to break them apart because she knew deep inside that what they felt was real, it was indeed love without question. Natsume changed drastically when he met Mikan. A change that terrified Kaoru.

This was the point where it got complicated because slowly, Kaoru liked the idea of giving Natsume the freedom to live his own life but shadows of the past kept on overpowering her. "That's absurd," she said. Even on where to start, Kaoru had no plan. The fight this time would be less effective if she did it in a subtle manner so the choice was to do it directly.

"You can do it. You are Kaoru Hyuuga after all," Mikan dared her, staring at Kaoru with dejected eyes, "I… I hate you. You made my life miserable and full of worries. If not for Natsume, I might have succumbed to depression again. But, after talking to you, I kind of understand why you made such decisions. You were raised like that and there's only little we can do to convince you. We cannot change you overnight. That would be asking for a miracle. Do you know Natsume is the most annoyed with me when I try to involve myself in the problems of other people? I know that yet I can't help it and the very reason why I am here today. I love your son with all my heart. But, my selfishness would cause us heartache along the way. Maybe there is a better time. A time when I will be able to give everything for love. The day when all of you realized that life is not about material things, image, or prestige, then maybe. Maybe when you can finally be free also then you will open your heart not just to your family but to people who sincerely want to get to know you."

"It's that easy?" Kaoru said in disbelief. She cannot fully accept that Mikan's concede was very anti-climactic. Kaoru was about to give Mikan hell, to test her, to see how long she martyred in being wretched. The break up took her by surprise that she still cannot utter formal words. "You ended it just like that?" Kaoru asked once again. Natsume was so determined. Kaoru shook her head upon the realization that if Natsume agreed with the break up while feeling so in love, then it must be real.

Mikan refrained herself from crying. "We ended it because if we have peace, then we can fix our families better. You will stop pestering our school, our friends. This is how we save others. And stop saying that it's easy when you know that it was that hard."

Their talk ended and Mikan exited the room with the hope that they reached a mutual agreement. What was about to happen after this all depended on them, whether they choose to be the same or to be more. Mikan felt good, her feet lighter, the tension in her face got released with all of her rantings to Kaoru. It was safe to say that she achieved what she came here for. Another chance to take one last view of this stunning but bitter home and Mikan was out. She looked straight ahead while walking, bowing slightly at every person she passed by then someone informed her that Natsume was already waiting outside. Mikan gave her thanks then ran to the entrance hall, changed back to her shoes, and grabbed quickly her coat and scarf.

Opening the gate where they entered, the first thing she did was to look for Natsume who was fortunately discovered easily. He was sitting at the wooden rails which caged the bamboo forest on the east side of the compound. Mikan copied his stance as she leaned on the rail with a few inches of space between them. The car they used to come here, parked in a proximal distance, was left unguarded with Ioran nowhere to be seen. Natsume welcomed her with a smile but he looked like he was trying to relax himself a bit, gaining his composure back by staring at the serene display of nature around them. Mikan knew that smile, already curious what happened to him inside.

"Hey, I just came from talking to your mother."

Natsume held her hand which she offered so willingly. He stared at her hands for a moment, nodding at her statement, then decided that he would not let go. "Me too, from my grandmother."

"Good talk?" Mikan asked innocently.

"Yeah, I think I said it well."

Mikan nodded. "Us too," she said before shifting to quietness as if she wanted to hear more from Natsume. But, Natsume had no words and opted to hold her hand longer and tighter. She smiled at the action but deep inside felt another streak of bitter sweetness. "Let's go?" she asked.

They walked toward the car, still hand in hand, even if Natsume had to make a call to ask about Ioran's whereabouts. Mikan waited for the response until she saw something clipped on the wiper. It was a paper being flipped by the wind. Mikan took it and read aloud the contents.

You have until tomorrow to go wherever you want.

Ioran

The unpredictability of Ioran Hyuuga's moves had come to the point where Natsume could only shake his head and smile at the idea. If this happened before, Natsume would pester him with calls and rants on his childish plans. So, Ioran knew that after coming here, they definitely needed a breather. Natsume searched for Mikan's eyes, if she agreed to the note or would say just to let it be. If they were still together, he would definitely agree with the recommendation.

"So, what's next?" Mikan asked, eyes still on the note.

"I can't think of anything yet," Natsume said automatically but he already formed lots of ideas. He like that she asked him, meaning the doors weren't close.

"Oh, Natsume, I think this is the best time to do everything. Just remember don't let them hold you too much."

Natsume wanted to tell care to be careful on the things she kept on recommending because he definitely would not hold back this time. Without a doubt, this was the best time to do everything before reality sunk in, before they part ways, before they come back to the Tokyo where everything began. They had the remaining day for free and another free day tomorrow.

"Polka?" Natsume called out before Mikan geared up for the adventure.

Mikan looked up. "Yeah?"

Natsume stepped closer to her, rocks under him parted upon the pressure of his feet. "I just want to tell you how happy I am to meet you."

So, so happy to meet her. From the time he almost hit her with a car and criticized her for it to this day when they felt so close and yet so far. A lot of things happened, both sad and happy, from being childish to the life-changing decisions they made. They raced a cat together, went all the way to the ends of Japan to talk to someone, said sorry in weird ways, fought because of conflicts in school, survived the apocalypse of student organizations together. Every single thing was memorable. Mikan made an attempt to hold his face but she ended up hugging him by the nape instead, burying her head to his chest. Natsume caressed her hair and arm.

Mikan looked up already which slightly disappointed Natsume because he wanted them to be in that position longer. "We actually started at the wrong foot so why don't we make the ending a blast?"

Natsume tapped her head gently. "Just the brightest idea you had for a while, Polka."

Mikan knew he was just suppressing his feelings so a trip with just the two of them was the perfect opportunity to end things properly.

End of Chapter

The things is… Mikan and Natsume are meant for a bigger purpose. They are now set onto two different paths of growth, a higher form of growth.

How was the chapter? Thank you for asking me if I am alright. I still am and you will definitely keep on seeing me posting on this site. Just so you know that I cannot update as much because living inside the hospital is not exactly inspiration-worthy. : D But, when I get chances like this, alone and unbothered, I write a little until I finished this chapter which made me cry! : (