Silent Misery R&R - Chapter 3
by HidingInSight
Previously...
An Hispanic man and two black women, all in scrubs, came into the exam room. Gibbs got a look at the man and his body stiffened, his breath drawing in with an audible gasp. Jessica's eyes narrowed.
"Jethro? What's wrong?" she asked.
Gibbs shook his head rapidly, feeling pain spike in his head.
"Jethro?" Fornell asked. "What is it?"
"He..." Gibbs said, then drew another deep breath. "Nothing."
"It's something," Fornell said. "What?"
"It's me," the Hispanic man said, and Fornell could hear regret in his voice. He stopped just inside the door. The two women moved into the room toward the opposite wall, staying away from the bed.
"Jethro?" Jessica said. "This is Marc. He's our doctor. He's not going to hurt you."
"I know," Gibbs said. An involuntary shiver moved over him.
"Is it that he's male, or is there something more specific?" Jessica asked.
"He..." Gibbs stopped, took a breath, tried again. "He looks like..."
"The man who hurt you was Hispanic?" Jessica guessed. Gibbs nodded again.
"Is John on duty?" Jessica asked, looking back over her shoulder.
"No," Marc said. "It's gonna have to be me." He turned his attention to Gibbs. "Would it be alright if I sat down, if we talked a bit?" he asked.
Another hard breath, and Gibbs tried to force himself to calm. "It's fine," he said. "You're fine."
"No, it's not fine," the doctor said. "I can see you're trying to make it fine, but it's not." One of the women who'd come in pushed the second rolling stool toward Marc, who caught it with his foot. He moved it to a position several feet from the bed and sat down. Jessica pushed her own stool back a little so she, Marc and Fornell were in a rough half-circle. Gibbs looked at Fornell, his eyes slightly wild. Fornell tried to send encouraging vibes his way even as he silently seethed over how wrong this was. Jethro Gibbs wasn't afraid of anything. At least not anything like the mere presence of a man.
"Let's just talk a bit," Marc said. His voice was low and calm. "My name is Marc Ramirez. Actually, my mother would want me to say it's Marcos Ramon Antonio Esquivez Ramirez. But most people just call me Marc." He smiled. Gibbs didn't look at him, instead still searching Fornell's face.
"I've been a doctor almost 15 years. I've worked in the ER here for 12 years, and I've been a sexual assault trauma specialist for the last eight. I've got a wife, Katherine, whom I love very much, and three kids who think I hung the moon. Except lately my oldest, Annabelle, is starting to wonder if Daddy really knows all that. She turned 11 last birthday. I'd hoped teenagerness would hold off a couple more years."
Fornell chuckled a little, though everyone could hear it was slightly forced. "Sounds just like Emily," Fornell said to Gibbs. He looked at the doctor. "My daughter's 12. I know what you mean."
Marc smiled at him before continuing. "In my spare time – what little of it I have – I like to play basketball. When I can get away, I like to sail. I've got a 30-foot sleeper I sometimes take down the coast with my family." Gibbs glanced at the doctor, looked away. Marc took that as an encouraging sign.
"Jethro builds boats," Fornell said.
"Oh yeah? What kind?" Marc asked.
After a long moment when they all doubted he was going to speak, Gibbs cleared his throat. "Amigo. Twenty-two foot off-shore cruiser."
"That's a nice boat," Marc said. "Where are you building it?"
"Finished the last one a couple years ago," Gibbs said. "Sailed it to the Gulf, gave it to my Goddaughter."
They talked about the boat and the trip for several minutes while the two women who'd come in leaned against the counter and waited. Everyone could feel Gibbs beginning to relax.
When the conversation died, Marc returned to the business at hand.
"So who's this?" Marc asked, gesturing to Fornell.
"A friend," Gibbs said.
"An armed friend," Marc said.
"They're federal agents," Jessica supplied. "Jethro and Tobias are together, though they'd like to keep that confidential."
"Not a problem," Marc said. He focused on Gibbs. "I'm glad he's here for you. It's really unfortunate that I resemble the man who hurt you. I'm the only doctor on duty today who's trained to conduct the forensic medical exam that's necessary, so we're going to have to work together."
Gibbs nodded, reluctantly.
"As a federal agent, you must have been trained in witness identification," Marc said.
"Yeah," Gibbs said.
"Good. Then do me a favor," Marc said. "Close your eyes and picture the man who did this." Gibbs' eyes widened for a second. "Just for a few seconds," Marc said. Gibbs nodded and closed his eyes.
"You see him?" Marc asked after a moment. Gibbs nodded. Another shiver ran over him.
"Now open your eyes and look at me," Marc instructed. Gibbs did. "In what ways do I look different than him?"
Gibbs considered it, staring at Marc's face until it became almost uncomfortable. "You don't look like him at all," Gibbs said and he finally relaxed.
"Good," Marc said with a smile. "I'm glad. You think we can get started now?"
"Yeah," Gibbs said with a single nod.
"We're going to be doing a lot of work behind you. We'll talk you through it, but if you need to take another look at me, remind yourself it's okay, you let me know."
Another nod.
"Alright, I'll give you back to Jessica now," Marc said. He pushed his stool away from the bed before standing. Jessica rolled back into position.
"Jethro, this is Josie and Latisha," Jessica said, and both women waved a greeting. "Josie's an RN, and Latisha's our team's medical assistant." She looked up at them and indicated Fornell. "Tobias is going to stay at Jethro's request." They nodded understanding.
"Jethro has agreed to the first dose of prophylaxis, if you're ready with it," Jessica said. The nurse Josie produced two capped and filled syringes from the pocket of her scrub shirt. She handed them off to Jessica.
"This one is a one-time dose for sexually transmitted infections," she said, holding up one. "This one is the antiretrovirals for HIV. We call them ARVs. The long-term program is pills, but we don't want you drinking anything yet, so they both go in your arm. Is that okay?"
When Gibbs nodded, she pulled the blanket back and the sleeve of the gown up far enough to expose his upper arm. She swabbed a small area with an alcohol prep pad, blew on it for several seconds, then quickly injected both medications. Gibbs didn't flinch. That small pain he could handle.
"I'm going to bring the team up to speed real quick. You doing okay?" Jessica asked.
"Fine," Gibbs said.
"Need more morphine?"
"Could use it," he admitted. Jessica drew up and delivered another dose into the IV.
While the three newcomers washed their hands and pulled on exam gloves, Jessica gave a bare-bones summary of the information Gibbs had given her. Much of it was in medical jargon and an in-group shorthand that was difficult to follow. When she was done, Jessica returned to the stool.
"Okay," Marc said, coming around to stand behind Jessica. "We're going to see about your injuries, then do a quick exam and start gathering some evidence. That okay?"
"Yes," Gibbs said.
"If you need me to stop, or need a reminder of who I am, you speak up, okay?" Gibbs nodded. "Tobias, keep an eye on him for us. Rat him out if you think he's hiding something he needs, okay?"
"Count on it," Fornell said and Gibbs rolled his eyes a little.
With Jessica sitting in his line of sight and keeping up a near-constant stream of narration, and Marc explaining everything he was about to do before he did it, the exam proceeded. Marc pushed the blanket out of the way and untied the waist of the gown before carefully cutting through Gibbs' boxers and peeling back the makeshift bandages. Latisha started taking pictures with a digital camera very similar to the ones they used in the field, Gibbs flinching every time the flash went off. Marc and Josie used wipes to remove dry and wet blood and other fluids, dropping them in evidence bags which were sealed and initialed before being set aside. They used an ALS wand to examine his backside, and long cotton swabs to gather samples from various places, slipping the tips down into covering tubes before they, too, were sealed into evidence bags. Fornell could find no fault with their forensic technique. He noticed there was always at least one gloved hand somewhere on Gibbs, the better not to startle him with sudden contact. Nonetheless, his trembling resumed shortly after the exam began. Fornell offered his hand again and it was taken, gratefully. He rested his other hand on the bed above Gibbs' head, brushing his fingers lightly over his hair. His focus was entirely on the man before him. It had to be: The rage was still lurking.
Gibbs tried to keep his breathing regular, only occasionally hitching when some deep pain spiked, or when the doctor's touch became too intimate. He clenched his jaw against the humiliation of the far-too-personal exam and silently prayed they'd hurry up and be done with it. He held Fornell's hand tightly and watched his face, seeking bad news. Fornell just stared at him with a look of tenderness rarely seen in public and kept rubbing his head.
After what felt like half of forever but was probably less than 10 minutes, Marc stripped off the top of several pairs of exam gloves he was wearing and came around to speak to Gibbs face to face. He pulled up the other stool and sat.
"You've got three pretty significant anal tears, Jethro," Marc said. "They've stopped bleeding, so you're not in any immediate danger."
"Okay," Gibbs said. His voice was rough. Fornell squeezed his fingers.
"We're going to have to get inside to see how deep the damage goes."
Gibbs nodded again.
"You know our best evidence against your attacker is going to be the ejaculate he left inside you. You don't need to decide now whether you want to report this, but it's the only chance we have to gather the evidence, so it's best to do it now, even if you don't think you're going to report."
"I know," Gibbs said and took a deep breath.
"Okay. I'm going to open you up with an anoscope. It looks like this." He held a hand over Gibbs' back and Josie handed him the scope. He showed it to Gibbs. It looked like a large stainless steel spoon with a four inch long cone where the bowl should be. "Once it's inserted, the light on it will let me visualize the damage," he indicated a tiny light on the inner surface of the scope. "It's also got an ALS attached so I can illuminate potential evidence."
Gibbs nodded again.
"I'm going to start with a numbing agent, to loosen you up and relax the muscles so the scope goes in easier. I'll have to spread it into the inner ring of muscle."
"I understand," Gibbs said.
"This is not going to be easy. And I'm sorry we have to do it."
"Me too," Gibbs said.
"Anytime you want me to stop, just speak up, okay?"
"Just get it over with."
"Okay." He turned to Jessica. "How much morphine has he had?"
Before she could respond, there was another knock on the door, and everyone in the room looked that way. It was clear from their expressions they weren't expecting anyone else.
"Stand by everyone," Jessica said and went to the door. She pulled it open a few inches, keeping her body in the opening. She spoke briefly to someone, then turned back.
"There's a Dr. Mallard here. Says he's Jethro's doctor."
"He is," Gibbs said. A visible change came over him as he steeled himself and pulled his hand away from Fornell's. A moment before, he'd been passively suffering. Now, he was strong and in control. On the surface, at least. Fornell was impressed, if saddened that Gibbs felt the need. "Let him in," Gibbs said.
"You sure?" Jessica asked.
"We asked him to come," Fornell said.
Marc pulled the blanket back into place to cover Gibbs and nodded his permission. Jessica opened the door the rest of the way and allowed Ducky through.
"Jethro," Ducky said. "How are you?"
"Hey Duck," Gibbs said. "Having kind of a bad day."
"It would seem so," Ducky said. He turned to the medical personnel. "How bad is it?" he asked.
"I'm Dr. Ramirez, his attending physician," Marc said. "We're just getting started," he added vaguely.
"Have you seen Tony?" Gibbs asked.
"No, I came to you first."
"Find him, stay with him. He's in bad shape," Gibbs said.
"According to Agent Fornell, you're far worse off than he is," Ducky said, reproach clear.
Gibbs shook his head. "The bastard was going to hurt him. I made a deal. Me for him."
Realization dawned almost instantly, in both Ducky and Fornell. "And then Anthony was made to watch," Ducky said.
"Yes," Gibbs said.
"In that case, you're right. I'll be with him. I have my cell phone should you need me."
"Make sure he understands it was my choice, not his fault," Gibbs said.
"I'll try," Ducky said.
"And Ducky, we're not using names today," Fornell said.
Ducky nodded his understanding and quickly left, the door swinging shut behind him.
The staff in the room was silent for a long moment. Jessica broke it.
"Tony's the one who bandaged you," she said. When Gibbs nodded, she made a beckoning gesture to Latisha, who came around. The two women spoke in low tones for half a minute before Latisha removed her gloves and went to wash her hands.
"Tish's going to make sure Tony's getting what he needs from us," she explained. "Will he talk to a crisis counselor if I send him one?"
"Maybe," Gibbs said. "Worth a try. Send a male if you've got one."
Latisha quickly dried her hands and left the room.
"Are you ready to continue?" Marc asked, and Gibbs nodded, reaching for Fornell's hand again.
"How much morphine has he had?" Marc repeated his earlier question.
"Six," Jessica said.
"Give him another two," he said, and she did. Marc pulled back the blanket.
"Jethro, we need to reposition you a little, to make this easier. Is that alright?"
When Gibbs nodded, Marc and Josie began gently helping him change position. He ended up mostly on his front, left knee bent up as far as it would go and right leg straight, right arm behind him with his hand by his hip, left hand still held in Fornell's, right side of his face against the pillow.
"Is that alright?" Marc asked when they were done. Gibbs nodded.
"Good. That's good," Marc said. "Okay. Here we go."
The exam resumed. After a minute, Gibbs felt the doctor's gloved finger in the cleft of his ass and he tensed, the shivering starting up again. As the doctor's focus tightened and cool cream was pressed against and into his anus, Gibbs involuntarily jerked at the sting and the violation.
"Easy, Jethro," Marc said soothingly. "How's that pain level?"
"Fine," Gibbs said, his voice slightly strangled. Fornell leaned forward and rested his chin on the bed so his face and Gibbs' were mere inches apart, sharing the same air. He held Gibbs' eyes and petted his hair, doing what he could to keep his old friend calm.
The doctor continued his work. After a few more swipes with the cream, he paused.
"I'm going inside now, Jethro. Try to relax."
Gibbs nodded. A second later, he let out a single involuntary cry and jerked again as the doctor pressed against his open wounds and slipped his finger through the tight ring of muscle.
"Relax," Fornell whispered. "It's alright. I'm here." He could see the muscles on Gibbs' jaw jumping and knotting with tension. Gibbs' eyes were wide, the whites showing all the way around. The all-over trembling intensified.
"Hang in there, Jethro," Marc said. He used his left hand to press down slightly on Gibbs' hip, trying to keep him still, and pushed in further.
As Fornell continued to whisper words of calm, Marc finished his task and withdrew.
"How you doing, Jethro?" he asked, wiping the remains of the cream on a towel.
"Cold," Gibbs said, his teeth chattering when he unclenched his jaw.
"I can help with that," Jessica said. She stood and crossed quickly to a silver cabinet, opening it and returning with a stack of three blankets. She layered them over him. Fornell felt heat coming off them where the blankets covered his hand, still clenched tight in Gibbs'. Shock blankets, from a warmer.
"We're going to let you rest for a few minutes," Marc said. "Let that cream do its thing. We'll get back to it when you're ready. Jess, give him another two."
While Marc and Josie washed up and left, Jessica injected another two milligrams of morphine into his IV.
"Go ahead and get as comfortable as you can. There's no rush to continue. We'll start again when you're ready."
Gibbs nodded and slid his right knee down, burrowing slightly into the mattress.
"That BP cuff is set to check your pressure automatically every half hour. It's going to go off again in about 10 minutes. Try not to let it startle you," she said with a smile. "Anything I can do for you before I go?"
"Mouth," Gibbs said through still-trembling teeth.
"I don't understand," she said.
"Can you take samples from his mouth before you go so he can rinse?" Fornell said. "He can probably still taste the guy."
"Oh, of course," Jessica said, and for the first time, they saw her professional demeanor falter. "I'm sorry. We were focused on the injuries. I can do that right now."
She took a handful of sample swabs off the bedside table and brought them around.
"I'll need to be there," she said of Fornell's position. He stood and started to move out of the way, Gibbs still gripping his hand.
"I'm not going anywhere," Fornell said. "I promise. I just have to get out of the way."
Gibbs nodded and reluctantly let him go. Jessica pushed the rolling stool over in front of him. She had him open his mouth and shone a penlight inside, looking for injuries. She saw several places where it looked like Gibbs had bitten himself.
"You've got some damage in here," Jessica said. "Did you do that to yourself?"
"Yes," Gibbs said, his voice as shaky as his body.
"Okay." Avoiding the damaged areas the best she could and using a firm hand against his quivering jaw, she made quick work of taking samples from his lips and the inside of his mouth. She carefully traced around his teeth and tongue, along the roof of his mouth, and as far back as she could go without making him gag.
"Done," she said when she had six swabs finished. "Hang on a minute." She stood up, moving to bag the swabs and place them with the other evidence. She went once more to the cabinets, returning with several packages of a different kind of swab.
"You can't get up to brush your teeth yet, but these will help," she said. She handed the packages to Fornell. "They're supposed to taste like lemon."
"Thank you," Gibbs said. The trembling was starting to ease.
"You're welcome. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. There's a light over the door that'll keep anyone from disturbing you. If anyone knocks, it'll be us."
She left, the door closing softly behind her. Fornell sat down and tore open one of the packages. He held the moist swab out to Gibbs, who took it and stuck it in his mouth. He started gently, but quickly picked up speed until he was sawing the swab back and forth across his teeth.
"Hey, slow down," Fornell said. When Gibbs didn't respond, he reached up and wrapped his hand around Gibbs'. The injured man resisted for a second, then relaxed.
"Slow down," Fornell repeated. Gibbs pulled the swab out. It had begun to fall apart. Fornell took it and tore open a second package. This time when Gibbs took the stick, Fornell kept a hand on it and guided the pace.
It took two more packages before Gibbs was satisfied. He stilled his hand, opened his mouth and let Fornell take the last swab.
"Better?" Fornell asked. Gibbs nodded. Fornell tucked the blankets back around him. Gibbs slipped his hand out and Fornell took it.
They sat together for several minutes while Gibbs' breathing and heart rate settled and the trembling settled to an occasional tremor. Fornell found his thoughts drifting to his next moves: As soon as Gibbs was secure, check in with Gibbs' team, find out what they had so far on the son of a bitch who'd done this, go after the bastard himself. Gibbs would need to take some time, but Fornell didn't. And when he found him...
"I need to know how Tony's doing," Gibbs said, dragging Fornell back to the present. Fornell nodded.
"I'll call Ducky."
To be continued...
Next up: How's Tony holding up? And how serious are his injuries?
Reviews gratefully accepted.