Chapter 34
It's been a week without Jacob and this time it's different. I think he knows I'm serious about not being with him. We're on our way to the doctor's to see about our baby. I do have a small baby bump but it's being covered by all of this fat. The point that I gained weight shows that I'm improving in the weight department.
I look at Jacob while he's driving the car. He glances at me before going back to staring at the road. He hasn't said anything since we been in the car. Just a simple hi and hello. That was it.
I know he knows that I'm mad at him. You don't tell me your feelings about Bella then come to the cafe still a jealous boy because of a newly doctor. I don't understand him nor will I ever.
It hurts painfully but I know I'll get pass it and maybe in the future he can get rid of that jealous attitude that he carries on his back knowing him. I know he'll never.
He turn the heat up in the car. "I don't need no heat." I say looking out of the window. "You don't but the baby need the heat, Lacie." He say back looking in my face. "Okay, Jacob. Are you taking me to the store to go grocery shopping?" I ask him. "I never said I was, Lacie." He say. Wow, Jacob.
"I'm asking you now seeing how I'm going to be spending Thanksgiving by myself and I need to learn how to cook. Is you coming over?" I ask him. "I don't know." He say. "Okay, I just hope Quil and Embry comes over. It'll be our first one and I need to eat food." I say leaning my head on the window. "I'm not taking you, Lacie. I have to get back to patrolling." He say.
I just nod my head as he pull into the Doctor's parking lot. I look at the shopping center to see it's packed. It is Thanksgiving time and people is doing last minute shopping. I need to shop for Thanksgiving. "It's okay." I say looking at Jacob while taking off my seat belt. He does too exiting out of the car while I just shake my head exiting out too.
He looks at me as I pull my shirt down. "I do not want you with me at my appointment, Jacob." I say shaking my head at him. He leans on the car. "I'm not missing none of my baby's appointment, Lacie. No matter how much you hate me or what situation we're in. Don't change up now." He say and close the door. I close my door too and walk into the building with him treading behind me.
I look at my shopping list that I made last night while Jacob is pushing the cart. Lord, help this boy. "Do you want a turkey?" He asks looking at them in the frozen section. "Naw, because I'm only one person. I'm not doing turkeys nor chickens." I say leaning over to look at the turkeys. "Okay." He say pushing the cart. I sigh following behind him.
"Your dad?" "We're having dinner with the Clearwaters." He say. "Okay, how's Leah's doing? I haven't seen her and I'm sure she's wondering about the baby and probably wanna beat me up." I say playing with the list. He mumble something. I don't even pay him no mind. "I need to go see her. I haven't seen her and I know she's probably busy." I say walking down the bread alse.
He follows behind me. "We're pretty busy." I nod checking the bread out. "Are you coming over?" I ask him. "I'll try to get around but it's kind of hard. It's Thanksgiving, Lacie." He say but I can tell that he's dismissing me. "Right, have you thought of a name if it's a boy or do you still want to keep Sarah?" I ask him. "I've been thinking of some names. Both boy and girl." He say. So, he doesn't want to keep Sarah name.
"Maybe we can use it as a middle name or our second daughter." "I'm not changing my mom's name, Lacie." He seriously say. "I know you might not but you been throwing boy names around in case it's a boy." I say. He nods his head. Okay, not going to answer. "Let's just go home. Grab a cake or something." I say frustrated and walking off.
I'm tired of his attitude. I walk till I get to the baking alise and who do I see standing checking out cake mix. No wonder Jacob was mad. "Hi, Mr. Howard." I shout waving my hand at him. He looks up from the box. "Hi, Ms. Thorne." He say with a smile on his face causing me to smile. I walk back a little bit to see if Jacob is behind me and he's not.
I shake my head laughing inside and walking up to Mr. Howard. "How you doing, Mr. Howard?" I ask walking to him. "I'm doing fine. How you doing?" He asks me. I grin hard laughing a little bit. "What's so funny?" He asks putting the cake box back. "It's just that. Jacob had an attitude all day. It's like he sniffed you out or something." I say shaking my head.
"I'm sure he did. You're shopping with him." He say. "I am. He was behind me but I guess he changed his mind about coming down this aisle. Who are you here with?" I ask looking around and not seeing nobody with him. "I'm by myself." "That's good to hear. So, you're cooking cake or something?" I ask pointing to the cake mix that he put back.
"Just a small cake, Ms. Thorne." He say. I nod my head still grinning and looking down at the floor. "Is there something wrong? You're smiling a lot." He say. "I just came from my appointment. It's just Thanksgiving and Jacob is still at it." I say knowing that he's probably listening on the next aisle. "Are you okay?" He asks me. "I'm okay. Thanksgiving is coming up but I better get going." I say grabbing a cake box and walking past him.
"Ms. Thorne." He say calling my name. I stop and turn back around him. "Have a good day." He say. "I will. You too, Mr. Howard." I say turning back around and walking outta of the aisle and looking for Jacob. I turn to the bread aisle and he's not even there. I sigh crossing my arms. I am so sick of his attitude and I have an headache. I am not looking all around the store for him.
I breathe out leaning up against the bread. I am not going to admit that I made a mistake but how he been treating me with his jealous attitude. So many times. I breathe out again as my heart start to race. He knows that I can't get upset. I try to calm myself but I start to see dots all around. My heart start to race even more and the ceiling start to spin. I fall into someone arms and hear someone calling for help before I black out.
I open my eyes to see my whole hospital room packed with my friends and even Mr. Howard. Jacob sits on my hospital bed but I can't even look at him. "My head hurts." I say touching my forehead and looking at the IV in my hand. They all look at Jacob. I look at him quick. "The baby's okay, Lacie." He say. I want to smack him so hard.
I look at Quil. He shake his head. "How long I been out?" I ask Jacob. "A couple of hours." He answers. I shake my head disgusted. "What's wrong with me now?" I ask him. "You had high blood pressure." He say. "That's what Dr. Roberts told us but you didn't care, Jacob. I don't know what it is with your jealous attitude." I say and Quil looks at Mr. Howard.
I don't even entertain Quil. "I feel sick." I say holding my mouth feeling like I need to throw up. "That's your blood pressure. It spiked then you fainted in the store." Mr. Howard say. Thank you because no one else was going to speak. "Is it bad?" I ask everybody. "Dr. Roberts wants to order bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy." Jacob say making me fear the worse.
"It wasn't that bad." I say shaking my head in denial. "It's a high risk pregnancy, Lacie." He say making Quil shake his head. "It's your fault, Jacob. You was not making me upset with your childish attitude then everything would've been okay." I say looking out of the window. I'm not going on bed rest. He gets off my bed and walk out of the room. Quil and Embry follow him out of the room.
"It's not his fault. It's just happens sometimes." Mr. Howard say walking to my bed and sitting down. I grab his hand and squeezes it. He squeezes back. "Your pregnancy was already high risk, Ms. Thorne." He say. "I don't know what to think, Mr. Howard. He been on my nerves for months." "It was probably going to happen." He say. I just look out of the window.
"You think it's my fault?" I ask him. "Honestly, I think you're both to blame." He say. I shake my head and look at the heart monitor. "The baby's alright?" I ask him. "You almost miscarried. Your heart was beating too fast." He seriously say. "I should've known it was something when I started smiling like crazy. I don't know any more." I say shaking my head.
"You gotta start taking care of yourself, Ms. Thorne." He say. I nod my head looking out of the window and wanting to cry but no tears come out of my mind. "It's my fault. I let him and everything else try to take me down. This pregnancy has been crazy and I have not once thought of Sarah since I found out it was high risk." I say shaking my head.
The door opens up before it's closed shut. "Where is Dr. Roberts?" I ask. "He's with another patient but he'll come check on you. Are you okay?" He asks me. "I'm not. I never felt my heart beat that fast before. It wasn't like the first time." I say. It was beating way to fast. I look at heart monitor. "It was beating out of your chest. I thought it was a heart attack." He say.
"Sorry, I scared you." I say feeling on my chest. My heart is beating normal. "It's okay." He say. I guess he doesn't have anything else to say. His wife was in the hospital too with their baby. "How bad was it?" I ask him. He looks me in the eyes. "They thought it was a heart attack. They had to give you oxygen." I nod. "You're not hiding anything else?" I ask sensing that it might be something else.
"I'm not." He say as someone knocks on the door. I look at Mr. Howard as he turns around to look at the door opening up to Dr. Roberts who's holding a medical chart. "How you doing, Lacie?" He asks as I turn my attention from Mr. Howard to him. "Still feeling a headache." I say looking at him looking in the medical chart. "You'll feel it. Your pressure was through the roof." He say.
"I heard." I say looking at the door and waiting for Jacob to walk in. They both look at the door too. "He's still in the hallway. He was talking to his friends." Dr. Robert say to me. "I blame him." I say. "Both of you are too blame." He seriously say. Mr. Howard looks at me with an I told you so face. "I thought I told you both that your blood pressure was already high?" Dr. Robert asks me.
"It wasn't that bad but you did." "What you mean it wasn't that bad?" "I mean I was feeling alright then I might've cut the corner in the store too fast then I did it again." "You was not walking fast." Mr. Howard say. "I'm sure you two was arguing." Dr. Robert say. "We was not like that but he did have an attitude. It was normal stuff of how we are now." I say disappointed.
"That's the reason why you're in the hospital and nearly miscarried, Lacie." He say. I don't want to lose my baby. "I let him to get to me. It's other things too. Like those girls who was killed." "I understand that their deaths affected the community but you have to think about your baby and you don't unnecessary stress on you. You're having a high risk pregnancy." He say.
I shake my head and listen to the rain as he goes back to look in the medical chart. Mr. Howard looks at me. Oh, wow. I'm still feeling it. Oh, what should I do? "I'm ordering you on bed rest." Dr. Robert say breaking me out of my trance. "I can do that. What about school?" I ask. "You're already failing. School shouldn't matter." Mr. Howard say. Right, and it doesn't matter. Baby Sarah is the only thing that matters.
"Sometimes you have to let go unnecessary stress." I say to myself. "You said that plenty of times but you still continue with Jacob." Dr. Roberts say looking at the heart monitor. "It's other things too." "You're making excuses for him." He say. "It's just his attitude. He's just jealous of Mr. Howard. Anybody would be." I say looking at Mr. Howard.
"Jealous or not. He shouldn't put stress on you or the baby." He say before Dr. Roberts can speak. "It wasn't like that. We wasn't arguing in the store. We was just having a simple conversation and I spotted Mr. Howard then I left to go to him then I got upset." I say hearing myself clearly. "Okay, Lacie." Dr. Robert say dismissing me. "I love him too much but I guess not enough to risk. He's not the cause." I say shaking my head.
Jacob is listening and blaming himself. They both look at me but neither say a word. "I understand what you're saying." "Do you?" Dr. Robert asks me. "I do understand clearly. I'm high risk which I knew about and I came close to losing my baby today. I don't want to point blame. Let's just move on." I say looking at Mr. Howard. "I'm not to blame." He say.
"I know." Jacob probably blames you. I look at Dr. Roberts. He closes the medical chart. "Was it a heart attack?" I ask him. "It wasn't a heart attack but I heard your heart was beating real fast." "Hospital or at home?" I ask him. "I want you in the hospital for a few days. We'll monitor yours and baby's condition then we'll go from there." He say.
"I can do that. I don't want to lose baby Sarah. I'll be spending Thanksgiving here." I say looking out of the window again. "It's not so bad, Lacie." "It's really not, Dr. Roberts. Thanks." I say to both of them and squeeze Mr. Howard hands. He squeezes back. "You're welcome, Ms. Thorne." I shake my head at him calling me by my last name.
"Call me Lacie, Mr. Howard. Why am I so different?" I ask him. Dr. Roberts looks at him. "I don't know. You just are." He answers. "Because you still think I attacked you." "I don't think that, Ms. Thorne. I don't want to get you upset." "I understand." I say feeling another headache coming and rub on my head. "Your head hurts?" Dr. Robert asks me.
"It does. Do you think you can give me some medicine for it?" I ask him. "You can't take medicine while you're pregnant, Lacie." "It just really hurts." I say voice breaking and holding my arms out. Mr. Howard scoops up a little bit and hugs me. "It's going to alright, Ms. Thorne." He say rubbing my back. I put my head in his shoulder smelling in his cologne.
"You smell nice." I say moving my head back to look him in the face as Dr. Roberts looks at both of us. "Thank you." Mr. Howard say. "No, seriously. Thank you, Mr. Howard. You was not there for me. I don't know what happened. I would've hit the floor." I say. I could've possibly lost the baby. "You're welcome, Ms. Thorne." He say and I kiss the both side of his cheeks.
"I don't know how to make it up to you. Since day one even though you turned over a new leaf, you been there for me and the baby. I really appreciate it." I say smiling on the inside and the smile comes out. "You're welcome." He say smiling too. Dr. Roberts looks at him. He let me go rubbing on my back one last time. I rub on my face looking at the door. I wonder what Jacob is doing.
Dr. Robert looks at the door too. "He's probably still in the hallway." He say looking back at me. "I think we're at that stage where it's too much for us and we need a break to evaluate our lives. We'll be together not dating wise but still there for the baby but I think it's too much. We both got this going on and this is a big wake up call." I say still looking at the door.
"You think so?" "I really do, Dr. Roberts. He has an attitude problem when it comes to his feelings and jealousy-" "Not the first time that I heard that from women like you, Lacie." He say cutting me off. "I love him too much. I'll stop talking about him. We're not boyfriend or girlfriend. We don't even have sex no more." I say shaking my head disappointed at the situation.
"That's good to hear." He say. I nod my head looking back at Mr. Howard. He just looks in my face. "Thanks again, Mr. Howard. I know you probably had something to do." I say hugging him again. He hugs me back and the door cracks open but someone closes it again. "I wasn't do anything." He say. "I'm just glad you was there for me." I say hugging him tightly and breathing in his cologne again.
He rubs on my back. "You too, Dr. Roberts. You was not my doctor. I don't know what." I say looking at him. "You're welcome, Lacie. I wanna run some tests on you and the baby. Do an ultrasound." He say looking me in the face. He looks almost like Mr. Howard. "Are you two brothers?" I ask moving my head back to look at Mr. Howard's face and Dr. Robert's face.
"We're not related." He say. "I don't know." I say looking at Mr. Howard. "We're not related." He say but I'm unsure. "It's just both of you two got blond hair and blue eyes but I guess that's anybody. I would love an ultrasound." I say to Dr. Roberts. "Alright, Let's get you moved after I check your vitals." He say. "Okay. Are you going to stay?" I ask Mr. Howard. I hope he say yes.
"I'll stay." He say nodding his head. I nod my head too and finally letting him go. He gets off the bed and Dr. Roberts take off his stethoscope from around his neck. I breathe out looking at it. "It make you nervous." He say looking at my heart rate going up. "A little bit. It's all too real." I say looking at the door again. I guess Jacob is not coming in. "Let's just start." I say to Dr. Roberts. "Okay, Lacie." He say while I eye the stethoscope.
I clap my hands as we all gather into the exam room waiting to see baby Sarah on the screen. I'm sensing an aura of some type or tension in the room. I sigh as Dr. Roberts set up on the ultrasound machine while Jacob stands next to me. Mr. Howard is sitting in the chair up against the wall. "Leah did not come." I say looking at Embry and Quil. "She stays on the tribe now. She's not coming off till when the baby is born." Quil say.
I nod my head. I can understand that plus she's working hard. "But she knows?" I ask Jacob. "She knows. Everybody knows." He say looking at the machine. I shake my head. I'm not bringing up Bella. I'm sure she's not allowed or something. "Bella?" I ask Jacob just because. "She knows and she's praying the baby's going alright." He say not looking at me again.
I don't see why. Half and Half in this situation.`Mr. Howard looks at me. "Why do you got an attitude?" I ask Jacob. Quil shake his head in the back. "Let's not argue." Dr. Robert say before Jacob can open his mouth. "You're right." I say playing with my hospital gown. "You can't afford to get upset again." He also add while typing on the keyboard.
"Right." I say rubbing on Jacob's shoulder to let him know he's not to blame. He has 70% of the blame but not all of it. Jacob looks at me. I just breathe out ready to see my baby. "Let's see baby Sarah. Maybe we can find out the sex of the baby today." I say rubbing on Jacob's shoulder. "We might. If she's not hiding or anything." Dr. Robert say grabbing the gel.
"I am so ready. The last time we seen her was like almost a month and a half ago. It was before my house was trashed, Dr. Roberts. You remember when I told you that." I say as he pull my hospital gown and squirt the gel on me. It's not cold nor hot. "I remember. You ever find the missing ultrasound picture?" He asks grabbing the ultrasound wand.
"No." I say as Jacob stare down at my stomach. "You didn't misplace it did you?" Dr. Robert asks me. "No, it was on the fridge. The break in then bam." I say with my hands. "It'll turn up. You probably misplaced it." He say. "Probably did." I say hearing the ultrasound machine buzzing and it suddenly get quiet in the room. Oh, wow. I guess everybody wanna see the baby.
"I'm getting nervous." I say reaching for Jacob's hand. He hold my hands and I lean into his arm covering my face up. "You don't want to see the baby?" He asks me. "No." I say feeling all eyes on me. It's very nerve wrecking. "Lacie, look your baby." Dr. Roberts say. Jacob lift my head up. Dr. Roberts moves the wand around as I just continue to look at Jacob. He looks at me.
"I'm sorry." I say to him. "I'm sorry too." He say and look at the screen before I can say anything else. I turn my head to look at the screen. "That's your healthy Sarah." Dr. Robert say causing me to fake smile. "You're not happy?" Mr. Howard asks me causing everybody in the room to look at me. "I am happy. I am not a smiling person." I say looking at Dr. Roberts turn a knob on the ultrasound machine.
They all smile as the baby's heartbeat fills the room up. I notice Mr. Howard staring hard at the screen. "Nothing's wrong?" Jacob asks him before I can ask him. "Nothing's wrong. Do you want to know the sex?" Dr. Robert asks us. "It's not a girl." Jacob say causing me to grin hard at Quil. He shake his head grinning too. Embry looks at Jacob.
I guess he doesn't want to know. "We don't have to know. It might our hearts to know Sarah maybe a Sean." I say making a joke to lighten up the room but it doesn't work and I notice Mr. Howard still staring at the screen. It must be hard on him with his wife and everything. They all look at Jacob. "It's up to you. Healthy Sarah or healthy baby boy. I don't care." I say to him.
He just keep his eyes on the screen. We wait on him to answer. I just keep my eyes on the screen. Look at my healthy baby Sarah. "Okay, there's her toes." Dr. Robert say pointing on the screen. I nod my head while still waiting on Jacob. I want to know. "I want to know." I say to him. Quil and Embry looks at him. "I don't want to know." He finally say.
"I want to know." I strongly say to Dr. Roberts. "I don't want to know." Jacob strongly say to. I suddenly feel like throwing up. "How about I tell only Lacie, Jacob?" Dr. Roberts asks him. "No, then I'll feel the urge of wanting to know." He say. "I can see that but it's my baby-" "Our baby." He say making Quil shake his head again. Okay, that was funny.
"Let's not argue you two." Dr. Roberts say typing on the keyboard. "Okay, but you know?" I ask him. "I know, Lacie." "Okay, can you just make pictures for us? His dad, me, him, and Mr. Howard." I say looking at Mr. Howard. "Thank you, Ms. Thorne." "Anything. You been there for us and why not?" I ask wanting Jacob to say different but I guess he doesn't because he doesn't open his mouth up to protest. He better not.
"Bella too." Jacob say making me look at him quick. Bella? "The immediate ones, Jacob. That's four. It's no need for five." I say not going into it with him. "I can make her one too." Dr. Roberts say. "No, you cannot. Leah gets one. She can be five." I say getting upset as both Quil and Embry looks at Jacob. "I can make Bella one too, Lacie. It's not a problem." Dr. Roberts say to me.
"No need to get mad. It's just pictures and aren't you friends with Bella?" Mr. Howard asks me. "I am, Mr. Howard. Jacob is just trying to start." I say as they all look at Jacob. "I'm sure he's not. You don't want to get upset." He say. I nod my head crossing my arms while still holding onto Jacob's hand. "It's our daughter, Lacie." He say. "I see her, Jacob. She's on the screen." I say. He just shake his head and go back to looking at her. I do too. My head starting to hurt again.