Chapter 35
What better way to spend your Thanksgiving break? In the hospital on bed rest. My blood pressure was spiked too high nearly causing me to miscarriage plus it's fear that I may have a heart problem that's hidden. Mr. Howard said my heart was beating like crazy but I calmed down. I don't know what's going on with my body. I'm feeling more human and I'm kind of loving it.
I missed doing my old job and I lived my life. I really miss being an Angel but as the pregnancy goes on. I'm going more human. Dr. Roberts scared me when he was checking my heart rate. A heart condition. All I thought about was my baby going to be healthy or not. A near miscarriage. I cried all last night just thinking about what would happened if I lost my baby.
I don't want to think negative. Think positive. I grin looking back out of the window. It's cloudy and I don't think the Sun is ever going to come back out till Spring time of next year. I'll probably be eight months or already had the baby. I hear a knock on the door and it opens up to a male nurse who's wearing blue scrubs. Blue. Blue. Blue.
Even though, I don't know the gender. I'm still wanting baby Sarah to be a boy. Dr. Roberts gave doubt in my head and all I am seeing is blue everywhere I look. Maybe it's a sign. "How you doing, Lacie?" The male nurse asks opening the door even further to push in a cart with a tray of food on it. "I am doing fine." I say moving the blanket down a little bit.
"I am real hungry." I say can't wait to see what he has on the cart. He laugh walking up to me. "I think your stomach is blinding you. This is not food. I'm here to check your vitals." He say making me wave my hand over the food tray and it turns to medical instruments. I breathe out frustrated. He chuckles grabbing the blood pressure checker off the cart.
"I'll tell the nurse that you'll hungry again." He say putting the cuff around my arm. "I am really hungry and this hospital food is not feeling me up. Is there a way that I can eat maybe four times a day?" I ask him. "We'll see about that but I'll have to ask your doctor." He say pressing the button on the cart making the cuff tighten up around my arm. I'm not worried this time. My heart loves to beat now.
"I hope Dr. Roberts tell me yes. I am really hungry. I'm eating for two more." "Twins?" He asks me. "No, me and the baby. You're like the tenth person who assume that." I say as he writes on the clipboard. "From how you said it. It made me think you was having twins." "Well, I know it's not twins. I don't feel like it's twins." I say as the cuff start to deflate.
"You never know. Some women don't feel like you're having twins." "Well, I hope not. I'm in high school. I can't raise twins." I say looking at him taking it off my arm. "You never know. They come as a surprise of hiding behind one another." He say. "It was one baby on the screen." I say assuring myself. No one got time for twins." I strongly say. I don't want no twin boys.
"Everybody says that. Let's check your heart rate." He say taking his stethoscope from around his neck and checking my heart rate. "So, Thanksgiving? Will you be working?" I ask him. "I'll be working, Lacie." He say smiling. "It's just that I'll be in the hospital during this time till Dr. Roberts give me a right to leave." I say trailing off. "I'll try to make it down here to eat with you but I have other promises to other patients." He say putting the stethoscope around his neck and writing on the clipboard.
"No, I was wondering if you can talk to Dr. Roberts about me leaving the hospital. I don't want to be around." I say. The hospital is getting too much and my hands are starting to burning greatly. "It's for the best, Lacie. You don't have to be scared." He say. "I'm not scared." I say and he sits on the hospital bed. I rub my hair getting nervous.
"I understand that it's hard being a teenage girl pregnant." "It's not that. I understand making sure everything is alright for me and the baby but I don't want to stay. We all hate the hospital, don't you?" I ask him. "I love the hospital but everything is going to be okay. Are you okay?" He asks me. "I'm just real sad because I didn't see staying in the hospital around Thanksgiving. It was so mapped out." Plus my hands are burning.
"Sometimes things happen like this. I know you wants what's best for your baby." "I do." I say nodding my head. "Sometimes you have to take it because your baby needs you to be healthy. The baby depends on you and your chart says you have a history of medical conditions." "I had a couple of them. I understand what you're saying. Are you going to be my male nurse?" I ask him.
"I am. I do my rounds on this floor. You don't remember me?" He asks me. "No, I do not." I say confused about where he is going with this. I usually remember a face but I admit that I have been slipping lately. "I'm the one who took care of you when you first came into the hospital through the ER. You and Dr. Roberts." He say to me. "Oh, I remember now. How's my heart?" I ask him.
"It's actually working." He laugh out making me fake laugh. "I know. It goes crazy some times and I don't know what's going on." I say grinning hard. "What we're trying to figure out." He say seriously getting off my bed. My grin drops quick when his back is turned. "Is that why he wants me to stay longer?" I ask him. "It's one of the reasons along with the baby. Your heart might be causing your pregnancy to be high risk." He say fixing his cart up.
"Right. I don't think it is because he hasn't told me anything about it." I say getting suspicious now about him and Dr. Roberts. He did looked the same as Mr. Howard. "Why we're running tests on you and hope to have your test results back." He say. "And, about that food?" I ask him. "I'll tell the nurse to bring you another tray." He say pushing his cart towards the door.
"Thank you. I didn't catch your name." I say to him. "Orlando." He say going out of the door. Orlando? Fake or real. I nod my head watching him leave out of the room and turn back to looking out window shaking my head. I cannot believe Dr. Roberts might've played me. He did looks so familiar to Mr. Howard. Where is my old OB-GYN? I just shake my head pressing the buttons on the side of the hospital bed to turn the TV back up.
I'm going to have to watch out for that male nurse and Dr. Roberts. Both are getting too close to me. Heart condition? Someone knock on the door. "Come in." I yell. The door opens up to Mr. Howard who's carrying a bag with him. "Oh, I hope that's some food." I say muting the TV. "It's a salad. I knew you would be hungry." He say walking in and closing the door behind him.
"Salad? I don't care. I am just really hungry." I say moving the blanket over for him to sit down. He hand me the bag and sit on the bed. "Mr. Howard, take your coat off. It's a little bit hot in here plus you're wearing a black trench coat." I say. "I'm okay, Ms. Thorne." He say. I guess never Lacie. I dig into the bag and pull out of the salad. "It's two in here. Are you going to eat it too?" I ask reading the tags. Both are chicken salads.
"It's the only kind they had." He say. "It's alright." I say setting one day and looking at the bottle of water. "It's like you're my angel, Mr. Howard. How you always know?" I ask him. "Just do, Ms. Thorne." He say making me grin hard. "Alright, I wanna ask you a question." I say taking off the top off the salad tray. "Okay, What's the question?" He asks me.
"Are you sure that you are not related to Dr. Roberts?" I ask him. "I am sure. I am not related to him in no way. Do we really look alike?" He asks while I pour the dressing on the salad. "You two kind of do especially in the eyes and the way you both your facial expression then something kind of threw me in that you two might know each other." I say looking at him.
"And, what's that?" He asks not changing his facial expression. "I seen him before when he treated me then my OB is not mine and he's my doctor. Is he an OB?" I ask him. "He's an OB." "It's just it was a run it." I say confused. "You'll have to ask him." "But you know him?" I ask. It's all I wanna know. "I know him. He's my good friend." He say.
I nod my head. I feel some kind of way about that. "It's just I feel like he got rid of my doctor to personally be mine." I say digging into the salad and not liking the taste of it. "You'll have to ask him, Ms. Thorne." "I wish you would stop that, Mr. Howard." I say pushing through with eating the salad. I gotta eat healthy. "I don't feel comfortable calling you by your first name." He say.
"Because you think I attacked you." I say. The only main reason I can think of. "That's not the reason." "But, you didn't deny it. Do you still think I attacked you?" I ask putting my salad in my lap. "I think you did." He answers looking me directly in my eyes. "I didn't attack you, Mr. Howard." I say back. "I know you did, Ms. Thorne." He say and it suddenly get silent.
I just go back to eating. "Cat got your tongue?" He asks me. "No, I didn't attack you and I'm sorry that you still think that I did after so many months. I thought we was bonding. I did attack you." I just admit. I'm tired of it. Before he can say anything it's a knock on the door and a cart with a food tray on it is pushed in. I look at him as he looks at the nurse.
"Oh, you're already eating." She say looking at the salad in my hand. "I can eat that too. The baby is real hungry." I say closing the salad up and moving the bag on my other side to make way for my tray. Mr. Howard gets off the bed and pushes the food tray stand over me. I'm sensing something. I'm sure he already knew. I look at him walking to a chair in the room and sitting down in it. He make eye contact.
"Thank you." I say when the nurse sit the tray on my stand. "I'll be back later for the tray. Enjoy yourself." She say pushing the cart out of the room. "I will." I say and wait for her to leave out. "Why?" He asks me. "Because I didn't like how you came at me. I am very sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day, Mr. Howard." I sadly say and wait on him to speak before digging into my food tray.
"I don't think I can, Ms. Thorne." He say making me one to cry and I don't know if it's hormones or what. "Well, I hope you do in time. It was just this big mistake and I really turned my life around. I hung up my gloves." I say feeling tears forming in my eyes. Maybe it's my feelings or hormones that's attacking me. I am so emotional right now.
It's just silent as he stare directly in my face. "I just feel the whole world coming down on me and to know that it was so many chances that I could've lost my baby. It just hit me so hard." I say needing Jacob right now. I know he sick of me. Mr. Howard doesn't say anything. He just stares in my face. I can't let my salad go to waste and I'm sure he's not going to speak for a couple of minutes.
I grab the salad and slide my tray over to make room for it. I take the top off. Mashed Potatoes. Baked Chicken. The basically the same thing that I had. I'll eat the salad first while Mr. Howard stares in my face.
I guess he didn't have much to say because he stayed quiet as I just ate all of the food even the nasty salads. I hate eating salads. I hate lettuce. His corrections was right but how he was always around me. I shake my head watching the news. It feels right to get the secret off my chest even though it made me tear up and want to break down in tears over it.
Anything else? I never would've broke down in tears. I guess I am changing as a whole person. I just can't wait for Jacob to come visit me. I can tell him about everything. I am too hormonal right now. I wipe the 64th tear from my face. I look at the chair where Mr. Howard was sitting and he left to go somewhere. I blocked it out.
He probably visiting his wife or doing something. It's the fall break. Heart condition. Hands burning. It's not burning no more. It's going on five in the afternoon. Dr. Robert's haven't seen me today. Jacob calls when he gets a chance. I just miss my Jacob. I wonder what Nurse Miller is doing. I haven't called her nor told her that I was in the hospital.
I reach for the phone to dial her number. I pick it up. Should I call her? I know after everything that has happened before her and too much. I don't want to worry her but she might get upset because I didn't call her. Is she even in town? I put the phone back down. Maybe she already know what's going on. I hit my head in my stupid moment.
She and Mr. Howard is friends. Her and his wife are best friends. She knows to the core that I'm probably in the hospital. I'll just wait on her. I turn back to watching the news. As usual, the killer is still on the loose. Seattle has calmed down. It hasn't been no missing people. Jacob hasn't say anything about it. When is the battle? That's the main question and are they going to be okay? Do they need help?
I sigh coming out of my thoughts when someone knocks on the door. "Come in." I say turning the TV down. The door opens up to Dr. Roberts who's holding a medical chart. "Hope that isn't mine and I see you're not wearing blue today, Dr. Roberts." I joke but really I'm not. "Just a normal green shirt, Lacie." He say closing the door and walking towards me.
"Green can also mean a boy. I do want to know but I don't want to upset Jacob." I say as he checks out my IV bag. "I know you don't. You told that you didn't want to know." He say. "I know but I changed my mind. I been seeing blue all day and I'm starting to think that I'm having a boy and not Sarah." I say as he looks in my medical chart.
"I'm not telling you yet, Lacie." He say. I nod my head. I'm ready to talk with him but I don't want to go there because I don't want to get upset. " Are you really a OB?" I ask before he can speak any words out of his mouth. "I'm really an OB, Lacie." He say closing his chart. "I don't know if you're lying or not. It's very funny how you're Dr. Unknown then you're my OB replacing my other male doctor." I say.
He reaches for my hands. "I don't want you touch me." I say moving my hands away for two reasons mostly because my hands are still ice cold. "Just tell me the truth. I can't be stressed out or anything." I say looking in his eyes. "I am." He finally say. I breathe out feeling the tears forming in my eyes. "I don't know any more." I say as he grabs the tissue box from off the nightstand and he hand me some.
I take them and wipe my eyes. "I been crying all day and yesterday." I say. "It's an emotional time, Lacie. It's okay to cry but you don't want get too upset. You don't want to raise your blood pressure." "I got high blood pressure, Dr. Roberts." I say. "You do and it spike up too high. You can possible miscarry or have a seizure." He say scaring me.
I nod my head at what he's saying. I don't want neither of them. "Sarah can't survive out of your stomach at four months. She's not developed all of the way. Her lungs aren't strong enough. You don't want a premature baby." "And, I don't. I just want answer. Just tell me the truth instead of having me question and wonder. Are you friends with Mr. Howard?" I ask him.
"I am." He say smiling. He must know that I attacked his friend. "You must know that I attacked your friend?" "I do know. May I ask why?" He asks me. "It was something in the past and it was how he talked about me but I learned and turned over a new leaf. It made me sad telling him the truth." I say feeling sick to my stomach. I feel like I need to throw up.
"He had a rough year." He say. I nod my head peeking at the TV of them showing a picture of a young teenage girl. Dr. Roberts looks at it too and hit the button on the side of the bed. "I was watching that and I wanted to know." I tiredly say. "Let's not get you upset. You don't want to listen." I breathe out shaking my head. Another killing.
"That's number three." I say holding up three fingers to him. "I know. Let's not talk about it. I want to talk about your health." He say opening up the medical chart. "About my heart condition that I do not have." "You don't have it. Your heart is beating normal. Sarah heart rate is normal. The only problem is your blood pressure and you may be anemic." He say closing the chart.
"Why do-Anemic?" I ask looking at him quick. "You're anemic." He say looking just like Mr. Howard. "I swear you look just like Mr. Howard. You must be his older brother or something. Are you his twin?" I ask him. "I'm not his twin, Lacie. We're talking about your health." He seriously say. "Right, I'm just going crazy thinking about Mr. Howard. Does that explains why my pregnancy is high risk?" I ask him.
"It's one of the reasons." "Do you think I need to be on medication? I know bed rest is one. Is it really serious?" I ask him. "You're not listening to me?" He asks me. "I am. I just need a moment from everything that's going on. I'll need iron pills. I'll be on bed rest. I'm just tired, Dr. Roberts. It's too much going on." I say feeling heavy and holding my head.
"Are you okay?" He asks taking out a medical pen. "I am. I just feel my whole world is gone and crashing down on me. Maybe I'm just tired." I say while he shines the light in my eyes. "You might be tired, Lacie. Don't think too much into it. You have to think of your health and Sarah's health." He say. And, I really do. "Anything else? My heart?" "Your heart is normal." He say.
"It's broken. Jacob's not here for me. Mr. Howard left and I don't have no one here with me." I say. I can use a hug. "You have me, Lacie. You can call me anytime and if you need anything." He say. "Thanks, Dr. Roberts." I say holding my arms out. He hugs me rubbing on my back. I come out of the hug slowly kissing on the side of his face. He laughs but I'm very serious.
I kiss his neck sniffing in his cologne. "Really, Lacie." I hear Jacob's voice say followed by snickering. "I needed a hug, Jacob." I muffle out in Dr. Roberts neck. He rubs on my back. "I'm here now, Lacie." Jacob say walking closer to me. I peek out of Dr. Robert's neck to see the guys and Sam. That's a surprise. "I know." I say cuddling deeper into Dr. Roberts neck.
I hear the snickering again. "Here you go, Jacob." Dr. Roberts say passing me off to Jacob. He kiss on my cheek and hug me. I think I'm tired and horny. "Thanks again, Dr. Roberts." I say coming out of Jacob's neck to see him walking towards the door. "No problem, Lacie. Call me if you need anything." He say. "I will." I say and he nods leaving out of the room. "He was here and I needed comfort, Jacob." I say going back into his neck and hearing the door closing.
"I didn't like it." He say rubbing on my back. "I know you didn't but I'm starting to see that we might be drifting off. Hi, guys." I say coming out of the hug and waving at them. They wave back even Sam. "So, let's talk about what's going on with you." He say sitting in the chair. I breathe out. Where do I begin?
Night time at the hospital and the most quiet time ever to my opinion. So, what I am doing? I'm roaming the halls. I'm kind of calm and everything but I just want to find out what is with my hands burning every chance it gets. High risk pregnancy and I know I'm not supposed to be out of the bed but I just want to walk around. Clear my head.
It's a wake up call. It's a big one. I walk up to the large glass window at the end of the hallway. I lean against it looking down at the passing cars and changing stop lights. I look at my reflection. I feel my face is changing. It's gotten fatter. My cheeks are getting out. I'm sure my vision is going crazy. Dr. Roberts and Mr. Howard are not twins nor related.
They look totally different, Lacie. I must be thinking about him. It must be that they both have blond hair and blue eyes. One a teacher with a glasses and one a doctor. I try to blow air on the window but it doesn't come out. I can't do that yet but I'm sure I'm going human on some parts. I been there. I look at my hair. It's a few gray strains coming out on top of my hair.
Yeah, my feelings is changing and no matter how I put it my relationship with Jacob is putting my health is jeopardy. He's the other problem by letting his feelings of jealous and maybe Bella come in the way. I did get pregnant by a sixteen year old and potentially ruined his life. I'll be mad too. It's too much going on this year.
Some relationships drift apart and don't stay together. That's me and Jacob. I'm holding out. I breathe out. Start anew. I wanna know the gender of the baby. I feel it's a boy or it can be a girl.
"Let me go back to my room." I say turning around and walking down the hallway. I walk towards the elevator and press the button waiting on the doors to open up. The night nurse check up on me. She might call Dr. Roberts and he call around. They might fuss me out. I turn around feeling someone might me watching me. It's nobody there.
I turn back around as the door opens up and back up in the doorway. I know the killer or that Orlando is not following me around. I press the button to my floor and the door closes. I'm not walking no more around the hospital. A killer killing off high school girls. Girl number three. I might be next. I ride the elevator back to my floor and the door opens up to Mr. Howard who's stare directly into my face.
"Ms. Thorne." He say. I know he mad. I get off and walk into his arms. He wrap his arms around me as I put my head in his neck. "Are you alright?" He asks me. "I'm just a little bit sad about everything." I sadly say. "It's going to be alright. I'm here for you." He say. I nod my head slowly coming out of the hug and making eye contact with him.
He looks down at me while I feel the nurses's from the nurse's station looking at us watching the scene waiting on our next move. "I better get in the room." I say after he doesn't say anything. He nods his head and I unwrap my arms and walk in my hospital room to see his black trench coat laying the chair. He must've came or been at the hospital visiting his wife.
I climb on the hospital bed as I hear the door closes behind me. I turn around fixing myself into the bed and looking at him walking over and sitting in the stool that's next to my bed. I think he's about to fuss me out and I feel like I need to throw up so badly. I grab a tissue off the nightstand and wipe my mouth when it's start to salivate.
"What was you thinking?" He asks me. "That I needed air from being in the room for two days. I just wanted out. The walls are closing in on me." I say look around the hospital room. It is. They feel like they're closing in on me. "That's your blood pressure, Ms. Thorne. You don't want to lose Sarah." He say. I wipe my tears when I feel them falling down my eyes.
He sits on the bed and I move my legs to give him room. He wraps his arms around me and I cry in his neck. "I don't want to lose her but it's so hard doing it alone." I say getting his shirt wet. "I'm here for you. You have Jacob. You have friends." "I know but I felt you was going to turn your back on me after founding out of the truth." I say wiping my tears with the tissue.
"I wasn't going to turn my back on you, Ms. Thorne." "I felt you did." I say shaking my head in his neck. "You don't want to get upset. Calm down." He say rubbing on my back and I calm down but it takes some minutes for me. I come out of the hug and stare deeply into his lovely blue eyes. "I just don't want to lose you as my friend, Mr. Howard. You're the only guy other then Jacob and his friends who been there for me." I say rubbing on his face.
I feel his whole body shivering from my cold touch. We just stay looking into each other eyes before I look at his pink lips. I feel my heart beating fast as I lean closer to him enough to feel his breathing from his nose. He just stands there waiting on my move and I kiss him. He doesn't do anything but just stand still. I pull out of the kiss.
"Wow." I say licking my lips while he just stares in my face. I guess he's lost or something. I can't tell because of his usual poker face. Should I kiss him again? "Mr. Howard." I say waving my hand in his face. He blinks getting his face back. "Sorry, that was inappropriate of me." He say apologizing. "No, it was on me. I was the one who initiated it and not the other way around." I say pointing to myself.
"It was on me. I should go." He say getting up out of the stool. "No." I say grabbing his arm and stopping him. He looks at me. "Don't go." He grabs my hand and take it off his arm. I nod my head when his back is turned as he walk to the chair to grab his coat and he leaves out without saying good bye or anything. Oh, Sarah. What did I do? I lay back in the bed gazing out of the window smiling till I fall asleep.