Silent Misery R&R - Chapter 26
by HidingInSight
Gibbs stared at him, still taking shallow, fast breaths. He knew Mike was dead. He'd held his body in the rain, seen him laid out on one of Ducky's tables. That didn't change the fact that occasionally – in times of unusually heavy stress – he saw Mike walking and talking as if that night had never happened.
"Jeez, Probie. You look like the devil's on your tail," Mike said. Gibbs nodded, not sure he was capable of speech.
"What's out there?" Mike asked.
Gibbs shook his head. "Nothing," he managed.
"Doesn't look like nothing." Mike studied him for a long moment. "Tell me the other guy's dead. Or at least in the ICU."
"Workin … on it …" Gibbs mumbled and let his eyes close again. He was starting to get lightheaded from breathing too fast and tried to hold a breath to slow it down. He didn't relax his posture against the door.
"Gibbs? Are you alright?" A voice from outside the door. Gibbs jumped again, letting out the breath he was holding and quickly taking another.
"Is that my sweet Abby out there?" Mike asked with a sudden smile. "Open the door and let her in, Gunny."
Gibbs shook his head again, but he relaxed a little
"It's Abby, Gibbs. It's all right. I'm right out here. I'm gonna stay right here until I know you're okay."
Gibbs held another breath. Abby was out there. There was nothing to be afraid of. No danger.
Mike's smile faded. "Haven't seen you this rattled in a lot of years," he said with obvious concern. "What happened?"
Gibbs blew out a breath and said "Nothing."
"Sure," Mike said, shaking his head. He looked away and felt at his pockets. Gibbs realized he was searching for cigarettes. A ghost, dead more than two years, dying of cancer even before Cobb's scalpel hastened his departure, looking for a cigarette. The image made Gibbs smile a little despite his still-present fear. He relaxed further and caught his breath. He unclenched his fists and lessened the pressure against his heels a bit.
"Can't ever find a damn cigarette anymore," Mike said and looked back up at Gibbs. "Better, but not done yet, are we?" he asked. Gibbs shook his head.
"You know the danger out there's about as real as I am, right?" Mike said, confirming what Gibbs had suspected from the first time Mike had appeared post-death: The apparition was self-aware.
Gibbs nodded. "I know," he said softly. "Doesn't help."
"It will," Mike said. "Soon as your brain accepts it, the feeling'll pass."
On her side of the door, Abby listened carefully. She could hear Gibbs taking uneven breaths, and occasionally it sounded like he was talking, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. There was no sound of movement.
"It's okay, Gibbs. You can stay in there as long as you want. Just let me know you're okay, please?"
Gibbs took another breath in. He looked around himself. His bathroom. His house. The ghost of Mike Franks. Nothing here that would hurt him. No one outside but Abby. No danger. Nothing to be afraid of.
"Please, Gibbs. Please let me know you're alright?" Abby's voice, overflowing with concern. It was just Abby.
"Talk to her, Gunny," Mike said. "You can do it."
Gibbs slid one hand back toward his hip. He extended his first two fingers and tapped twice on the door.
"Atta boy," Mike said.
"Oh, thank you," Abby said at the same time. "I'm just gonna sit here, outside the door. In case you need anything. I'll be here. No hurry. Just, come out whenever you're ready. Okay?"
Gibbs tapped on the door once more.
In the bedroom, Abby nodded to herself. She sat down on the floor between the rocking chair and the bathroom door to wait.
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Vance left Gibbs' bedroom, but didn't go far. He stood in the hallway for a minute, listening to Abby talk to Gibbs through the bathroom door, then moved further down the hall and took out his cell phone. He scrolled through his contacts and dialed.
"Dr. Mallard, you're needed at Agent Gibbs' house," he said.
"What's happened?" Ducky asked immediately.
"I'm not sure. I think…" Vance paused, struggling for the right words. "I think he's having an anxiety attack."
There was a pause, maybe a few breaths, before Ducky replied. "I understand. Is he somewhere safe?"
"Locked himself in his bathroom. Miss Sciuto is talking to him through the door."
"Is there anything in there he could use to hurt himself?"
"Excuse me?" Vance asked, certain he must have heard wrong.
"Does he have access to weapons?" Ducky rephrased.
"I doubt it. He's not armed. You don't think he'd…"
"Not likely," Ducky interrupted. "Is Agent Fornell in the house?"
"No," Vance said, a little confused by the question. "Some reason he would be?"
"Tell Abby to keep talking to him," Ducky said instead of answering. "Don't try to force him out, or force your way in, unless you think there's an emergency. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Vance hung up and stepped back to the door. Abby was sitting on the floor next to the bathroom, her ear pressed against the door.
"Anything?" Vance asked. She looked up at him and nodded.
"He's okay."
"How do you know that?" Vance asked.
"He told me. He's just going to stay in there awhile. He'll come out when he's ready."
Vance nodded. "Dr. Mallard is on the way," he said.
"That's good," Abby said. "Ducky will know what to do."
"He says to keep talking to him."
Before she could answer, Vance heard the front door open downstairs.
"Someone's here," he said, and started for the stairs. He was halfway down when Fornell appeared at the bottom.
"Good morning, Special Agent Fornell," Vance said. Fornell looked up at him, surprised.
"Director Vance. What are you doing here?"
Vance gave a small shrug as if to say 'nothing,' and continued down. "Just came by to check on Gibbs."
"How is he this morning?" Fornell asked.
"He's in the bathroom," Vance said. Fornell backed out of the way to let Vance pass.
"Is Abby still here?" Fornell asked.
"Yes," Vance said. He turned toward the kitchen, leaving Fornell standing at the bottom of the stairs.
Fornell wasn't sure what was going on. He sensed tension in Vance. And if Jethro was in the bathroom, what was Abby doing up there? His phone rang and he pulled it out, still puzzling over the clues.
"Fornell."
"Are you on the way?" It was Abby, and Fornell's brow rose.
"To the house? I'm here," Fornell said.
"Good. Come upstairs, right away." She hung up. Fornell didn't bother to ask Vance for an explanation, just quickly climbed the stairs. Abby was standing outside the closed bathroom door waiting for him.
"He's in there," Abby said, pointing at the door. "He locked himself in. I think he had a panic attack."
"A what?" Fornell asked. Even in light of everything that had happened since Tuesday, the words didn't compute.
"Director Vance was mad at him for not telling him about… you know… and he got mad back and ran upstairs. He won't talk to me, but he tapped on the door when I asked him if he was alright."
"A panic attack?" Fornell said.
"I know," Abby said with a twisted frown.
"How long's he been in there?" Fornell asked.
"Not too long."
Fornell nodded. "I'll handle it," he said.
"Good. He told the Director to leave. I'll go remind him." Abby moved past him.
"Thanks," Fornell said.
"Oh, and Ducky's on the way," she said as she left.
Fornell turned to the door. He listened for a moment, hearing soft words he couldn't quite make out, and raised his hand to knock.
NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS
"So catch me up, Probie. What happened to you?" Mike asked. He sat back further on the edge of the tub, bracing himself with both hands and stretching his legs out, ankles crossed.
Gibbs had relaxed some more, but still sat with his back pressed to the door. He had his forearms on his knees, his head hanging. His brain was still in turmoil, his heart beginning to slow but still tripping away far too fast.
"Got sucker-punched. Disarmed and restrained before I could fight back." Gibbs ghosted his fingers over the ligature marks on his wrists. He took a couple of deep breaths in a row, trying increase the oxygen flowing into his system and thereby slow his pulse rate.
"Okay," Mike said. "And then…?"
"DiNozzo got beat. Bad." Gibbs stopped again.
"And then…?" Mike prompted when Gibbs didn't seem to be continuing.
"The bastard was gonna rape him," Gibbs said without looking up. He held another breath.
"So you intervened," Mike said.
Gibbs nodded. "He'd had enough."
Gibbs waited for another question, and when it didn't come, finally looked up.
"You gonna make me ask?" Mike said. Gibbs shook his head.
"He raped me instead," Gibbs said. "I was tied up, beaten and raped, and had to take it. If I'd tried to stop it, he'd've killed DiNozzo."
"Damn," Mike said. "If that's not the definition of impotence, I don't know what is." Gibbs dropped his head again. He felt the fear gradually retreating, like darkness before a coming dawn. Saying the words brought reality into focus.
"You ID him?" Mike asked. Gibbs started to shake his head, then paused. What had Vance said? He got a call about a surveillance operation in Georgetown last night? He suddenly wondered exactly what Tobias might have done after he left the house.
"Maybe," Gibbs said and sighed. "Maybe," he repeated. He slid his legs to the floor and rested his head back against the door, letting his arms hang loose.
"There you go," Mike praised. "Told you it would pass."
Gibbs nodded again. There was a knock on the door behind him that made him twitch, but didn't bring the panic back.
"Jethro? You okay?" Fornell's voice.
"What's he doing here?" Mike asked with a frown. Gibbs didn't answer. He reached up and grabbed hold of the edge of the bathroom counter, using it to pull himself to his feet. He held on for a moment, then turned and unlocked the door, swinging it open.
"You alright?" Fornell asked. Gibbs shook his head, stepped forward, and grabbed the front of Fornell's shirt with both hands. He kissed him deeply, passionately, desperately.
"When the hell did that happen?" Gibbs heard Mike's shocked question from behind him and chose to ignore it. When he had to separate to breathe, he pulled back a little and rested his forehead against Fornell's, but didn't let him go.
to be continued...