Chapter 43
I'm cleaning up my bedroom. I left the window up to let some air in and to let the scent out. I'm just now waiting to hear from Jacob if he comes by today. I can't believe that missed my chance to catch Paul but it worked out okay. I just need to take my time and try again. I'll visit him again if I have too.
I hear the kitchen door opening up. Oh, Jacob. I close my bedroom door and walk down stairs and into the kitchen to see him just standing by the door. I don't know if he's stiffing or if he knows. "What you been doing?" He asks me. "I been doing nothing much. What you been doing?" I ask taking a seat at the kitchen. He just stares at me before sitting down across from me.
"Patrolling." He answers. "Is Paul still doing what he's doing?" "Don't worry about Paul. Lacie, what you do?" He asks. "I went to see about Paul last night." "And?" "He was not there and I went back home. That was it. It was no danger to me nor Sarah." I say. Do he smell it? He is a wolf and his nose is super sensitive. He doesn't say anything. "Did anything else happen?" He asks me.
"Nope, just a regular day. It was no pains nor anything else." I say flashing back to kissing Mr. Howard. It get quiet in the kitchen. "Why would you visit Paul?" He asks after ten minutes of silence. "Because I wanted our family back and I thought it was a good idea to help Paul get Bella back then you'll come here and be with me." I say. "It's more then concerning with Paul and Bella's relationship."
"And, I know that. I didn't know Paul was that worse and I do believe that's his imprint. They just needs time. Edward came back." I nearly whisper. "What you do?" He asks making my heart break. "I did nothing but try to stalk Paul out." "At where?" "His favorite bar that he loves to go too. That was it." I say. He leans forward. "You wouldn't hurt me?" "Never in my life would you hurt you, Jacob. Where is this coming from?" I ask him.
"I'm just asking, Lacie." "How can I hurt you when you already hurt me so many times? It's just a stupid question." "Yours or mine." "Yours. We're not together and you made that perfectly clear. I believe you have no feelings to brush mine off like it's no tomorrow." I say shaking my head. "I have feelings, Lacie." "And, so do I. You all kicked me out of being friends with you all and went on about your life because of Paul." "And, other things."
"And, that's okay. I'm over here going through life problems and emotions from being pregnant. I was not pregnant then I would've went on about my life and went to another town and settled down like it was nothing but I am here going through different emotions and trying to live my life. We are not together, Jacob. You have no feelings only about one person and her name is Bella. So, save that hurt my feelings crap. You made it pretty clear were we stand." I say.
I'm sick of his attitude and it's time to move on with my life. He is not worth it and I'm tired of hounding behind him and he's not trying to do the same for me. He looks past me and into the living room. I turn around and look in the living room. "He spent the night after helping me out. Nothing was wrong with that." I say turning back around to see him staring in my face.
"Okay, Lacie." He say. "Just sick and tired of it, Jacob. You're not trying to save our relationship." "We have no relationship." He coldly say. I nod my head as he gets up and leave out of the kitchen slamming the door and putting a crack across the window. I put my head in my hands feeling a headache coming along. I wait till I know that he's probably distance before getting up and walking to my clothes closet.
I close the door and open it up real quick to see a blond haired girl and Paul having sex on the couch. She lets out a loud scream covering herself up while Paul just sits there. He turns his head to me in a creepy way. He really is a wolf. She grabs her clothes and runs into the back of the room. Damn, I missed her face. Is she the girl from the bar last night?
I look at Paul pulling his basketball shorts up. Least he cares for his hygiene not to wear the same ones that he wore yesterday. I notice the windows up. He looks me right in the face but not saying a thing. I hear the bedroom door opening up. "His daughter is here now." I say to the girl when the girl walk past me but she pay me no mind as she kisses on Paul and leave out of the house.
I admit Paul got that eight pack going on but he smells terrible. I shake my head looking at the girl hopping into her car and driving off while Paul just stares at me. I ignore him and head towards the kitchen to see what he has in his fridge. I open it up while he keep his eyes on me. "Paul, don't open your mouth." I say reaching in and grabbing the Orange Juice but I'm scared to drink out of the carton.
He watches me dump the Orange Juice down the sink and throw the carton into the trash can. "Did you trash my house?" I ask turning to him with the fridge door still open. He doesn't answer me. I go back into the fridge and grab sandwich meat and dump it on the kitchen floor. He walks over and grabs my arm stopping me. "You smell." He say.
"Not as much as this house." I say while he leads me to the front door. He opens it up were I find Sam standing outside with his arms crossed. Paul set me on the porch and slams the door causing me to jump. I breathe out and sit on the porch. "Get up or you'll get sick, Lacie." Sam say. I just stay sitting putting my head on my knees then I feel myself being raised up by my arm.
"I told you to stay from Paul's house." Sam say leading me down the steps. "I'm feeling a little bit sad because Jacob is not there for me." "Smells like someone else is, Lacie. Did you shower?" He asks me. "Yes, I did. Paul's house." "Your house." He say back leading me to the forest. I just stay quiet as we walk. "He smelt it on me." I say voice breaking. "I don't know if he did but you can't hide that scent, Lacie. It's too strong." He say.
I just shake my head. "I'm emotional and four months pregnant. He is nowhere around." "Because of the danger concerning Bella." "We live on the same street. I see when he drop her off and runs back into the forest, Sam. Don't defend his actions." "I'm not." "I don't know what to say then. I was in the hospital and out of it. He was not there to welcome home. Let's not bring up Thanksgiving and many other times that he let me down. His feelings for me are not around and not there." I say.
He doesn't say anything. "You can't defend him nor tell me different. He did not want me nor a relationship with me then he should've said something instead of beating around the bush. I am not here for his jealousy for Mr. Howard." "Well, he was right about his feelings towards him. He turned out right, Lacie." He say making me shut my mouth. "It just happened, Sam." I say.
"Did it really?" "Yeah, it did." I say stop walking. He just looks at me. "Jacob always kept pushing and pushing. I tried so hard for him to see that our relationship is worth saving. I gave him so many chances." "I'm not trying to hear it, Lacie." "Then, you don't stand around trying to judge me on my actions. You said your bit. Don't say anything else." I say. I ain't trying to hear his explanation or anything else.
"Are you not carrying his daughter?" He asks shutting me up quick and making me grow a lump in my throat. "I am carrying his daughter, Sam. We're not in a relationship." "After he learn, you two might not never be in one." "Then, that is the choice that he made. I am not going to make no excuses for what I done but life still moves on. What's done is done. It's no going back to change the past. He kept pushing and pushing. He is not my boyfriend and I was not going to wait for him." I say. All that can be said.
"You had sex with another man while pregnant with Jacob's child?" Sam asks me. "It's life and you not are going to accuse me. He do not forgive me. It is on his part and I moved on with my life. You're with Emily. You have a relationship with her. All I ask is that he be around for his child." I say but I can see that he was about to say something. "I don't need your help for anything, Sam. It's life and it's over and done. Be here for his daughter." I say. "Okay, Lacie. Let's get you home." He say leading me back into the forest. Jacob heard. Oh, well.
You learn to move with life and heal what was broken with your new friends and beyond. Dr. Roberts finish making dinner for us. "So, how you been?" He asks. "I been fine, Dr. Roberts. My life is in hell now but I think it's just a phase because I was in the hospital and I expect Jacob to be there for me." He just nods. I'm sure he heard from Mr. Howard.
It get silent and I go back to watching TV. "Is that Mr. Howard's baby?" He asks me. "No, it is not. This is Jacob's daughter. Why would you think that?" I ask him. He stop cooking and look up at him. "Because of what you and him did." I shake my head feigning confusion. "You slept with my married friend." He say slowly. I shake my head again.
"He told me, Lacie." "I had never had sex with one of your friends, Dr. Roberts. Why would he say that?" "Because he cheated on his wife and broke his heart." I turn back to the TV. "One time thing." "Is it, Lacie?" "Yes, Dr. Roberts. It'll never happen again. I was hormonal and he caught me at a bad time." I say not trying to get into it. "How did you two end up together?" "He came and got me from there. It went left but it will not happen again." I say looking at him. "I hope not, Lacie." He say looking in my face.
"It won't. It was the biggest mistake ever in my life and I'm sure his." "It was." "No one saw us or anything. Nobody knows him in my neighborhood. I'm not going to be in his class or anything. I'm sure he regrets it to the core." "He does. He never should've slept with you." He say while I picture Mr. Howard in the shower scrubbing himself. "Never ever again. I asked for it."
"You asked for it?" "Yeah, I was telling him off about why we can't have whatever relationship it is." "But, it's not a relationship." "I meant our friendship, Dr. Roberts. Him being able to lose more than me. I told him to leave. I gave him all of the reasons why it was a big no." "I don't want my friend to lose his marriage, life, and job over a girl who is not worth it." He say.
"And, I understand that. I'm not worth it and it never should've happened and I take full blame because I came onto him in a situation were he was the most vulnerable and I hope he's not feeling too bad." "He cheated on his wife." He say. Okay, Dr. Roberts. I don't like that tone. You already said I was not worth it. "Lacie." Dr. Roberts say. "Sorry, Dr. Roberts. It the biggest mistake and I think this is the mistake that sent Jacob running into Bella's arms."
"That's on him. You shouldn't worry about him. He been edging his way to Bella. What did you expect to happen?" "I do not know but I don't beg him when he spent his time always around Bella. I know for a fact that he was waiting and waiting for her. No telling what they do behind my back nor do I care but the next time I see Bella." "Bella's not worth it and nor is Jacob." "No, they are." I say crossing my arms.
"You move on with your life with Sarah." "No can do, Dr. Roberts." "I don't want you to be in the hospital or jail because you beat the Chief of Police's daughter down, Lacie." He say making me think twice for a second. "She stole." "Jacob knew what he was doing, Lacie." "Yes, he did. I'll have to pass on dinner, Dr. Roberts." I say getting up and putting on my coat. "Are you sure?" He asks.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Mr. Howard does not want to see me." I say walking to the front door and opening it up to Mr. Howard who's holding his briefcase. He looks me in the face. He nods and walk past me. I look at him before walking out of the house and closing the door behind me. I take my time walking down the steps. It's getting a little bit cold and it should snow in a couple of more days.
I'm sitting in the dark at Paul's house waiting on him to get home probably with another girl. He'll sure to catch something one day. It's pretty dark and the smell of sex residue and liquor still lingers in the house. It keeps smelling like this. It'll turn into mold. I hear keys jiggling. Oh, he's here. The door opens up and he walks in wearing a leather motorcycle jacket while the girl kiss on his neck.
I guess he doesn't sees me because he keep heading towards the bedroom. He left the door open too. I laugh to myself. Wow, Paul. He walks back out not wearing his jacket and he grabs my arm to get me up but can't. He just lean against the wall. I make eye contact with him but he doesn't say anything. "I blame you for ruining my relationship with Jacob, Paul." I say. Speak.
He grins showing his white sharp teeth. "I didn't sleep with another man, Lacie." Oh, he does talk. "You think it's my fault that Jacob is running around with your girlfriend?" I ask him. "Bella's not my girlfriend no more." "I'm just saying my relations has nothing to do with how Jacob ended our relationship. You're to blame." I say and he doesn't respond.
"Get out his house." Sam say walking in with Jared behind him. "Lacie." Jared say. "Jared, I'm just trying to get my family back in order." "You had sex with another man while pregnant with his daughter." He say. Sam kneels in front of me. "Get up." He orders me. I scoop forward to get up off the couch. My stomach is making it hard for me to get up off the couch.
All three men looks at me. "Lacie, you have to stop." Jared say. "Get her out of my house." Paul say. Sam looks at me and I walk out of the house with Jared helping me down the steps. Sam closes the door behind him. "What are you doing, Lacie? It's two in the morning and you're out in the cold." Jared say leading me towards the forest. "I'm trying to figure out what is going on over here and why Jacob is not around." I say shaking my head.
"Because of the dangers surrounding Bella." "Not the only reason, Sam." I say. "You two are not dating no more and it's what both of you wanted." "What he had wanted?" "You slept with another man." He say. "Jacob does not know and I don't want him finding out." I say. "He's going to find out sooner or later, Lacie. It's not a secret that can be kept." "And, you think Paul will tell him?" I ask as Jared moves me out of the way of a rock that's in my path.
"He might. You keep messing with him." "Because of the things that's going on." "It's on Jacob not Paul. He's the one who you have to face, Lacie. Stay away from Paul and maybe he won't tell Jacob." Jared say. I wrap my arm around him. "You think I messed up?" "You slept with another man while pregnant with his child. Do you think you messed up?" Sam asks me.
"I think I did. Why I don't want him finding out." "But, you do." "Yeah, how would you feel if your so called soulmate left you for that girl who you was supposed to be your friend?" I ask. "Not too good." "Yeah, now in the future they're both happily married with a children and businesses?" "Not too good." "Yeah, if he knew and she knew from the beginning that it was going to be them two then he never should've got in the way. Why would you question me?"
"Why would you sleep with Mr. Howard?" He asks. "Because me and Jacob are not together and I am tired of trying to save a relationship when only one person is working towards it and he called me cruel from how he was acting always around Bella. I am not here trying to justify my actions because he too is to blame. We are not together and I don't owe him no explanation. You get sick and tired of seeing the love of your life running to another woman be it it is danger or not especially the ones who have child hood crushes on them. I'm just hanging out with Paul." I say seeing Sam's house come into view.
"I understand what you're saying, Lacie." Jared say. "Thank you, Jared. Let them live in the fantasy world. It's what they want." "And, if it's not with Jacob's want." "He messed it up. He's a sixteen year old boy and all I asked was for him to support me and be there as I go through my pregnancy and I understand the dangers that come with Bella but you have another responsibility and he broke my heart time and time again. I don't feel no regret for what I did but my heart is broken. Maybe he'll one day open his eyes and see he let the best thing go but I will be long gone by now. It's over." I say walking into Sam's house.
"He knew what he was doing, Jared. He treated me like crap because of his attitude towards Mr. Howard but made no attempt. I just asked him to be there for when I needed his support be it he has this relationship going on with Bella or not. He chose not to and I was not going to be on hold for him. I have a life too. Tell or not. I don't give a damn. He's sixteen years old and he'll alright and I'll be alright with my daughter." I take a seat at the kitchen table.
Sam sit down too. "So, what am I supposed to do?" He asks me. "I just asked support and he was supposed to be at my house taking care of me when I came out of the hospital and he was no where to be found. Where was he?" "He was working, Lacie." "That's a lie. He's a wolf. He can't come see me in the hospital. Bella this and Bella that. I am carrying his daughter and he barely came to visit me." He leans on the table.
"The danger surrounding the tribe and Bella comes first. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way." "I am feeling way worse, Sam. More than you can ever understand but I'm sure that you'll still make time for Emily. He did not and I live on the same street as Bella. So, what are you talking about?" "Just trying to make excuses for Jacob." "I wouldn't, Sam. At the end of the day, you have your wife and will have your children living in this beautiful house." I say waving my hands.
"Jacob has years to come. I will always talk about it because that bitch of a Bella broke up my home and my daughter will be without a father each and everyday." "It's on Jacob too, Lacie." "Sam, it is okay. People like them are not worth it to sit around living in a fantasy world hurting others and don't have to think about nothing. I'm sure she is happy at having both worlds. I am sure Jacob is happy having who he always wanted. Paul is not-" I breathe out taking a break.
"I will be okay in life but I feel that my daughter has been robbed of a father." "Jacob will be there as her father, Lacie." "Sam, I could've been with someone who appreciated me and known that I am one of a kind but that's not going to happen no time soon. He finds out or not. He will be okay. He has other things to worry about like Bella." I say getting up from the table. "And, his tribe and his people." He adds.
"Sam, tell Jacob. He got what he wanted and he can have Bella." "You did too." "And." I say walking towards the closet and opening up the door. He just sits staring at me. "Oh, well." I say walking in and closing the door. I breathe out and walk out of my bedroom closet. I sit down on my bed and lay down holding onto my stomach. I breathe again falling asleep.