Chapter 45
It's Christmas in Forks and I hoped to wake up with Jacob in my bed with his arm around my stomach and a Christmas tree downstairs. Well, I don't got both. Mr. Howard ruined my chance at getting a Christmas tree. I been up since three this morning just watching the news. Jacob and the Pack ruined my Christmas then wanted to blame it on my actions like Jacob ain't have a fall in our relationship.
I am so depressed. I shake my head getting up out of bed and watching the snow fall down outside. I put my bunny slippers on my feet and head towards my bedroom closet. I walk in and walk out this time in Paul's bedroom closet to see him laying down on the bed staring at the ceiling while in his basketball shorts.
He looks at me and surprises me when he doesn't sit up. I close the bedroom door. That terrible smell let up. "Paul." I whine crossing my arms and sitting next to him on his bed. He just keep looking up. "Paul." I whine again and lay my head on his chest. I scream letting all my emotions go while hitting on his chest. I'm screaming for at least ten minutes before I come to a stop.
I turn my head to face him to see him still looking at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Paul." I say getting up off him and getting off his bed. I walk out of his house leaving the front door open and make my way into the forest and towards Jacob's house. I'm walking for at least ten minutes when I come to a stop. I don't even remember which way it is. I hear a snap of a branch and turn to the noise quick. Sam. He walks up towards me and I look behind me to see Paul walking up too.
"Lacie." Jacob calls in my ear and I blink a couple of times to see that I'm still in my bedroom. I lean over and throw up on the floor hearing him sigh behind me and getting off the bed. He grabs a towel and cleans up the mess. "What you just do?" He asks. "I visited Paul and I never slept with Mr. Howard." I confess. He just continue to clean up the mess.
"You never slept with him?" He asks. "No, I did not. I'll never sleep with that man ever in my life. He has so much to lose and I love you very much. I just made you think that I slept with him because you're so on Bella. I'll never have sex with another man while pregnant with your baby. I love you so much, Jacob. I'll never crush your heart ever." I explain.
"I'm supposed to believe you." He say getting up and tossing the towel in the dirty clothes bin. I'll wash it later. "We been through so much and it's just nasty for me to walk to sleep with another man while pregnant. I never slept with him but I know you slept with Bella." I say. He just shake his head getting back into bed. "Whatever, Lacie." He say pulling the covers over him.
"I still believe Paul is sleeping with the girls who are being murdered." "First, it's Nurse Miller being the serial killer. Second, you slept with Mr. Howard." "Which I never did. He left the house after I kicked him out. He said he loves his wife way too much. You believe me or not. It's on you. The ball is your court, Jacob. I'm just sick and tired of being second and you not giving me no time of day. He left after he spend the night. I planted that sex scent." I say.
He just stays silent while he stares out of the window. "You'll seriously think that I'll sleep with him after he tore into me for putting my hands on him and you spitted in my face. You think that I'll have sex with him while five months pregnant with your child? You think that I am that nasty? I wanted you to hurt the same way how you hurted me, Jacob." I yell.
"Lacie, you need help." He say. "I need help. I am literally going crazy because my boyfriend and the love of my life is not in my life. I went through two stays in the hospital and you let your emotions of jealously make me feel like crap. My emotions are gone. I attacked Paul and his house because of you and Bella." "You did that on your own, Lacie." He say.
I sigh rubbing on my stomach. "Sarah hasn't kicked yet and I'm hoping that you're around to fill when she kicks. I understand you chose Bella and your main priority is protecting Bella but I don't know." I say forgetting it and watching the snow fall outside too. "My pack and my tribe comes first. You knew that and you still kept showing up on the tribe were your scent is so strong, Lacie." He seriously say. I never heard Jacob talk to me like that.
I don't like when people use that tone with me. "She has Edward and Paul protecting her. You have me living three houses down from her and you let your jealousy and your childish behavior get in the way of our relationship. How am I supposed to feel to know that my so called soulmate is-Whatever. I'm done with it. It's Christmas. It's over and done." I say pulling the blanket over me while he just watches me.
"I don't love Bella in that way." "I cannot tell. You're doing from what you're saying. It's been months and I felt that this so called friend of mine is stealing my wolf away from me when she has her own. She has a boyfriend who she went zombie over and here you are coming at me because I want my boyfriend back. She can have you, Jacob. You're not worth the stress, danger, nor the world for." I say voice cracking.
"Did you have sex with Mr. Howard?" He asks me. "No, I did not. I was talking to him and he left the house. I knew you was coming over to confront me about going to the bar that night then I visited Paul." "I don't believe you, Lacie." "I never slept with him. He's a teacher and he has so much to lose. I have a lot to lose. I'm his student. He just spent the night then he left in the morning and that was it. Dr. Roberts told me no to having sex because it'll speed up my heart and cause me to faint."
"I don't believe you." I breathe and turn over to him. He looks at me. "Did you have sex with Bella?" "No. My brother's imprint." "What am I supposed to think from the actions and the words that come from you? You told me that I might not be and you went around for months showing that it is going to be Bella this and Bella that. I am sure you do the whole world for Bella. It was a big mistake ever in my life meeting you and I'm starting to think that maybe you was the one when you're steady going around having sex with Bella in her bedroom." I say.
He doesn't say anything now. "On Christmas, Jacob." I say seeing Bella walking half naked in the snow in the forest. He doesn't say anything. I shake my head turning over and appearing in my bedroom. I cover my blanket up and appear in Embry's bedroom. "Lacie." He say from the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. He drops it. "I am so sorry." He say walking towards me and sitting on my bed.
"It's okay because I am worth it and he will never in his life have me. He had sex with her on Christmas when he's supposed to be my wolf." I say. "Maybe he's not." "Oh, well. She and him have to face everybody and everybody in the pack made it out like I was the bad person when Jacob and Bella was running behind our backs. So, what can be said?" I ask him. He just shake his head. I nod my head wrapping my arms around him. He rubs on my back as I notice Quil staring at me from the doorway.
I'm just staring hard at a mangled Jacob who's resting on his bed. Paul took a beating to him and I heard Bella's at her house. I'll visit her later and whip her ass next. "She's not worth it." I hear Sam say from behind me. I turn around to face him. "What are you talking about, Sam? I was the bad person in this and she did not break up my relationship with she has a fiance and a wolf chasing behind her. That's three guys." I say holding up three fingers.
They all look at him. Quil just shake his head. "She's not worth it." He say crossing his arms. "It was on Jacob too." Embry say. "It was on everybody and he waited. They broke my heart but you as a man who has his imprint and soulmate don't see a damn thing about that. What you see, Sam?" I ask him. "My cousin heart broken." "Who is your cousin?" I ask him.
"Paul, Lacie." Quil say. "Quil, Paul knew." Jared looks at Sam. "Bella knew. Jacob knew. How you going to sit around and accuse me on your cousin's heart being broken when I went to bat for that bitch and the so called father of my child and love of my life betrayed but I seen it coming because he showed signs months ago. So, this is nothing new. It was on the waiting game and he can have her." I say to Sam.
Embry looks at Jacob one more time and shake his head. "Sad looking, right?" I ask looking at Jacob too. You can't even see his eyes. "What did Billy say?" "What can he say? He's a boy capable of making his own decisions in his life." It get silent in the bedroom. "Is he unconscious?" "He's unconscious, Lacie." Sam answer. "That's two betrayals and she sat next to me in class. He sat in my house and talked like what he was doing was not wrong on so many levels because you going around with Mr. Howard and Bella might not be Paul's imprint, Lacie." I say in a rough voice.
Quil shake his head while looking at Jacob. "Love has no care in this world." "And, it really does not but he knew that he was not going to be with me for years to come and fight for me. Oh, I seen us having children and being married. All of this crap." "You still can." "A man like you who has not lost love." "I have, Lacie." "Sam, are we on you? I have so much to worry about and this little boy had sex with Bella on Christmas."
"Did he?" He asks. Embry and Quil looks at me. "Lacie, did he have sex with Bella?" Sam asks me. "I'm not answering that because he or she did not then he would not be laying in this bed beat up. Why would I waste my time with this fool? He made my life a living hell for months while he ran around fighting for Bella against Edward and Paul. I'm sure Paul was right to let Bella go knowing she was not worth it." I say watching Jacob chest going up and down.
It get quiet as I think for a couple of seconds. "If she is worth it then I am happy for him. I have to worry about my daughter and our future for what's to come. He'll be at the birth and he can have her. I'm done." I say getting up out of my seat and Quil gets up too. "I'll take you home, Lacie. I'm sorry." He say. "It's okay, Quil. I blame Bella because she's supposed to be my friend and what you doing chasing behind my man, my wolf, my soulmate, my Jacob when you have a fiancee and a wolf. Your life problems."
"Why it's so hard to believe, Lacie." Sam say. "Fuck you, Sam." I spit at him walking past him. "Lacie." Jared call at me. I stop at the front door and turns around to face the pack. "One of my wolves is out of commission because of your lies." Sam say to me. "It's not a lie, Sam." "Lacie.' Jared calls again. It get silent in the living room. "I did not lie and how dare you come at me when it's been months and it was doubt flying around left and right. Sam, you can't say a damn thing to me." I say shaking my head and walking outta of the house with Quil following behind me.
I'm watching TV in Paul's living room while he's having sex in the bedroom. I think it's another blonde bimbo. I see him pulling up his shorts and opening the bedroom door and looking at me. He closes it and walk into the living room sitting next to me. "Do you wear a condom?" "Sometimes." He answers. "STDS? "Never." He answers. "Did you know Bella and Jacob was messing around behind our backs?"
"I did." "I'm just wondering because this bitch hasn't been talking to me for months then come around you stealing my man, probably still have Edward chasing you, she has you plus you took my daughter's father away from her." I shake my head. He doesn't say anything. "Maybe she's not your imprint I mean she is that's some crazy way to come around while dealing with you and Edward. She stole my wolf. Jacob let his imprint go for another. I actually knew if he was not my wolf then I never would've let him get me pregnant and things." I say out of breath.
"On Christmas? He left my house talking about me cheating on him with Mr. Howard yet he was going around with Bella and planning to have sex with her and all of this crap on Christmas. He dugged into me and had the sad look on his face when he found out and all of that. I know for a fact that he was lying about going around watching me because he never in his life watched me worth crap." I say hearing the bedroom door jiggling.
"I don't understand because Sam made it seem like I was the bad guy in breaking your heart but I know nothing of your relationship. Let's not bring up that I helped him with Emily after he did that domestic abuse on her face. I let it go and move on with my life. He's not worth a family. Emily isn't either after I healed her face not to once call and ask how I was doing but it's okay. I'm not going to do nothing to Emily nor Sam."
I get up from the couch. "It's over and done. I have to live for my daughter. She has no dad and he kept turning me down when he was plotting to have a good night with Bella." I say walking towards the closet and passing him. He just looks at me. I open the closet door up and turn towards him. "Any girl is nasty to put their mouth on a penis that's been in every hole he can find. No woman wants a man whore who is riddled with hidden STDs." I say and close the door.
I walk out of Jacob's bedroom closet to still see him resting on his bed. I walk up towards him and kneel in front of him. I slap him hard across the face and getting a groan out of him. I turn his head so that he's facing me even though he can't barely see me. "I'm not Bella, Jacob. I'm Lacie. Merry Christmas." I say to him. He just stay silent.
"I didn't see you getting me a gift on becoming a first time mother knowing who I am and how I am. You got Bella a gift. I didn't see you getting Sarah or spending this Christmas with me knowing that I'll be alone. Where were you? Oh, right. You spent the night at Bella's house to give her the best gift ever knowing that we was so called working on our relationship. How can you explain this my daughter because you asked me if this was your daughter a long time? Her name is not going to be Sarah." I say to him.
"I just think to myself how you and everybody else went around defending your relationship with Bella knowing how wrong you was knowing you had an imprint and a daughter on the way. We have a relationship. Paul is Bella's wolf and for her to turn to you or you to turn to her or however it was. We have no relationship no more, Jacob. It's a boy." I say to him. His one brown eye just looks at me.
"It was a boy. You can name your daughter with Bella Sarah but it's a boy. I am having a little baby boy and I was going to give him your name but that's out of the window. He is going to be a special baby boy born from an angel and it's sad that you had to be the father of my special child when it should've been someone else. What made you get to be the father when it could've been someone else? I just don't understand how you came at me about Mr. Howard yet you was running around with Bella giving her dates, going toe to toe with Edward. She was rocking his engagement ring. You and her was talking in my face knowing you two was getting it in the back." I say and grab his hand.
He have a nerve to squeeze my hand. "I hope this was not no payback for Paul going around sleeping with different women because she and you messed up our relationship but I see that you don't want one with me." I say playing with his fingers. "I was the liar going around left and right. I just wish that you was not the father of my son. Oh, Jacob. He's not nasty. Bella's not nasty to do this to her friend who helped her out of a bunch and introduced her to Paul." I say and rethink about breaking his fingers.
"The world is so cold and I cannot wait till my son is born because I am not allowing him around a man like you I mean a little boy like you nor around these back stabbing friends who spitted in my face. You said it in my face like it was nothing but it's okay." I say letting his hand go and I dump the bucket of water that's next to his bed on his face.
"I hope she's worth it, Jacob. You lost your son and me over a girl who ran to you over Paul's sleeping around and Edward crap. You won her in the end. I hope she's worth it." I say slapping him one more time and leaving out of his room were I see Billy watching TV in the living room. He looks at me as I take a seat on the couch. "Merry Christmas, Lacie." "Merry Christmas, Billy. You seen your son?" I ask. He nods his head.
"Sorry." "It's okay. We all seen it coming but just didn't think he'll take the jump on Christmas unless he been doing it for a while and he got on me about Mr. Howard." I say looking at the Christmas tree in the corner. "He didn't get me no gift nor invited me over but he got Bella something." I say looking at the gifts. Wow, Jacob. You really did it to the core. "I told him to get you something but he didn't want too." He say making me get up from the couch.
"I'm going to visit Jacob one more time before heading home." I say walking back into Jacob's bedroom and into his closet not even checking up on him. I walk out of his closet and into my bedroom were I lay down on the bed and grab my phone to check to see if I have any messages. Not one single one. It's okay. I take off my slippers and my coat and pull the blanket over me.
Worst Christmas ever in my life. I just stayed in the rest of house till it got dark then I went back to sleep. I couldn't even eat. That's how sickening it was to learn that your friends can easily betray you in a heartbeat then make it out like I'm the bad person. I'm still tripping off of how Sam wanted to come to me considering how he did Leah.
A dog is dog. Love really don't care. Paul this. Emily that. Every all that I did and they all cut me from being friends. It's okay. She can have him. He did nothing but sat his ass on my couch knowing that he was fighting to get Bella then wanted to play it like I was the person for turning to Mr. Howard. Now, I'm the one and my son doesn't have a father because of you and her.
I don't worry about it because I will be alright. She's not worth it in so many levels. You knew that you was not going to be with me then I never would've wasted my time then had the nerve to ask me if Sarah was yours. Am I the father? It's all alright. I'm all good. I don't need a weak little boy like him nor friends like them.
It's others out there that'll appreciate me and when this baby is born. I'm leaving Forks for the rest of my life. He's not going to be in my child's life. Not no sixteen year old boy. Paul did right in how he treated Bella. She ain't worth shit to drop everything and leave him for Edward and Jacob. She ain't shit. I'm good. I hit the light off in my bedroom and pull the covers back over me.
I look at my phone to see that I have one text message but I turn it over. He ain't even get me a present.