Writing Prompt- Bad Romance
Baine was dead silent as he scanned the pages of the book. It was balanced in his open palm, looking especially small since it hadn't been made for tauren hands, which just made the sight even more comical. Jama had to physically clamp her hands around her muzzle to keep from laughing out loud at the expression of horrified disbelief on her mate's face.
"You and your friends read these out loud to each other?" Baine said, his voice a bit strangled.
"When we're drunk, yeah,. Sometimes we have a contest about who can read the most out loud without laughing."
"This...isn't even funny, Jama. I mean...Got Milk?" Baine sounded more than a little offended now as he read further.
"At least there's only one featuring a tauren."
"Earth Mother grant that it stays that way," Baine said fervently.
Jama couldn't muffle a giggle that time.
"You have all of these," Baine said slowly, slanting a look at the woman he loved like he'd never seen her before.
"I never got a copy of Blue Moon and Liikaa said if I tried to, she'd never speak to me again. I think that's unfair..."
"I don't."
"...after all, she laughed at this one." Jama crossed her arms over her chest, her stern expression ruined by the laughter sparkling in her eyes. "Granted this is the worst of them. The author claimed he does extensive research for these but if he did for that one, it wasn't anything further than eating some of Aska's mushrooms."
"And now I'm thinking of exactly what kind of 'research' he might have done. Why do you put these things in my head?" Baine snapped the book shut and it was a testament to his love for her that he didn't toss it into the nearest brazier. He waved the book at her and now there was laughter in his voice. He found the book ridiculously offensive but her (sometimes deeply twisted) sense of humor tended to spark his own and he couldn't help himself. "Just know that if I ever find you in the arms of a human paladin, it will not end as well as it does in this book."
Jama laughed so hard she almost fell over. "I'm not even sure what the real fantasy is: the idea that a human male could satisfy a female tauren or that a human male could actually hold back a tauren just by grabbing his horns."
"Well, this the same race that came up with the term 'grabbing life by the horns' like it's a good thing when we know it's rude and uncomfortable."
"You don't seem to mind when I do it."
Baine ducked his head, caught between laughter and embarrassment. "Jama..."
"I love you, Baine." She held her arms out, her laughter fading into something softer and deeper. "Why don't you show me why I'd never even bother with some scrawny human paladin?"
He tossed the book aside and moved to her, more than happy to oblige.