Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender purely begins to Mike and Bryan. This is just my vain attempt to live past the series finale.
Summary: Building a new world is never easy. Years after the end of the war, one night between Zuko and Katara leads to the reveal of hidden truths and disrupts their plans of the peaceful lives they thought they'd have. Even when everything spins wild, they will always find each other. They could fight the entire Fire Nation together, but what are they willing to sacrifice when the other is on the line?
Last Time…
"Aang, I'm sorry, but I think I should take her home to sleep this off." Zuko nodded at Katara, who was now poking at him.
"But if you're made of air… how are you so solid?" She smoothed a palm over his chest. "It's so firm," she marveled.
Zuko could feel his cheeks heat up and he avoided looking the Airbender in the eye. "Have a safe trip home, Aang."
Aang nodded and stepped aside. "I didn't mean…" He gestured at Katara but Zuko shook his head.
"She probably won't even remember anyway," Zuko replied smoothly. Aang looked as though he didn't believe him, but the young Airbender allowed the white lie. Zuko sighed and added, "But I do think the two of you should definitely talk or you can maybe send her a letter?"
"Yeah, that could work," Aang muttered. "I'll see you around?"
Zuko tried to offer a smile, but was distracted by how Katara was squirming in his hold. "It's been a while since you've visited the Fire Nation. I might be convinced to take a break if you did."
Aang's face visibly brightened and he nodded enthusiastically. "Take care of her, will you?"
"Fire Lord's honor." With that, Zuko bid him and his uncle goodbye and hurried out of the Jasmine Dragon and into his carriage waiting outside.
Aang turned to Iroh and asked wryly, "Cactus juice?"
Iroh smiled nervously while rubbing the back of his neck with a shrug. "The merchant gave me a very good deal for it!"
As soon as they pulled up to their shared lodgings, Zuko rushed up the stairs and into the dark home. Thankfully, Katara had stopped her hands from roaming all over him and was disjointedly humming what sounded like Water Tribe drinking songs as she had been for the majority of their ride back from the Middle Ring, occasionally raising her voice to distractedly mumble what he assumed Sokka would claim were the best parts. Shifting Katara in his arms so that she was now slung over one shoulder, he was able to free one hand to light his path through the halls with a small flame. As he moved her, Katara let out a small sound that sounded similar to the sound she made when Appa would suddenly dip in flight and she wasn't expecting it. Zuko smiled to himself.
"You alright?" he asked. He could feel the Waterbender continue to move and he tightened his hold on her so that she didn't fall. "This would be a lot easier if you just quit squirming around," he chastised lightly.
"We're flying," she gasped. "The world is upside down, Zuko," she said, giggling.
Zuko sighed, but the sound soon morphed into a low chuckle. He reached Katara's bedroom and laid her down gently on the bed. After lighting a lantern on her desk, he hovered over her nervously, not sure if he should tuck her in. It wasn't as if she was sick, just needed to sleep off the hallucinogen from Iroh's tea. Katara's eyes were closed and she smacked her lips together, as if she were about to fall asleep at any second. He made to move away, but then her eyes opened again and her full lips pressed together into a pout.
"You're leaving me?" she asked in a small voice.
"No, I'll be in the house in case you need me. But you should rest, Katara," he said soothingly.
Her eyes were wide and they captured the flickering orange of the lantern. The way the light danced in a sea of cerulean captivated Zuko as she asked, "Stay?"
Zuko found himself frozen to the spot and he opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to figure out an appropriate response.
"I'm so tired of being alone," Katara sighed, her eyes closing heavily again.
This time, it was Zuko's turn to frown. "Katara, you're not alone."
Her eyes opened sleepily and she smiled at him, "Neither are you. You always have me." She held out one of her hands and Zuko couldn't help but take it in one of his as he sat down on the edge of her bed.
It dawned on him that for all of the times he had touched Katara, he had never done something as simple as hold her hand without urgency or dire purpose. Their limbs often met in hard blows as they fought and sparred over the years and he had grabbed a wrist to pull her along or even cradled her whole body multiple times to protect her, whether from falling rocks in the Western Air Temple or as he did now to bring her home. She had placed her hand on top of his comfortingly plenty of times. But the feeling of reaching out first and feeling her smaller hand simply clasping his for no other reason except closeness was brand new. Her palm was softer than his for sure, but still lightly calloused as evidence of her hard work and life as a healer and provider. Her grip was relaxed but steady and Zuko impulsively tightened his hand over hers, surprised when she squeezed back.
Katara hummed happily. "Zu-zu… no… you don't like that name." She then frowned again and Zuko blinked as he tried to keep up with her changes in temperament from the tea. Katara shook her head from side to side quickly and her brunette waves tossed around her and spread across her pillow and her face. She released his hand to stretch her arms above her head before settling on her side. "Your crazy sister gave you that name," she muttered, looking up at him with sleepy eyes again, though the blue was tinged with sadness.
Zuko stiffened and Katara must have noticed because she took his hand again, rubbing her thumb across his skin. It baffled Zuko how easily it came to Katara to nurture and soothe. A part of him knew that he was just a damaged man yearning for someone like her to act as a balm to his wounds but the bigger part of him couldn't let Katara be dragged down by his baggage. He motioned to leave but her voice kept him in place.
"I was so glad you asked me to help fight her the day of Sozin's comet," she murmured. "I really like working together with you. It's like you know what I'm thinking before I realize it myself. I can always trust that you'll be there for me. To be honest, that's probably why Sokka always paired us up for training against the Melon Lord before Sozin's comet."
Zuko couldn't help but laugh quietly at her recollection. He was also surprisingly touched by the revelation that Sokka trusted him to take care of his sister.
"And I'll never forget how you saved my life." She sat up and lifted her other hand tentatively to press it at the center of his chest, where she knew he had a scar from where he performed the incomplete lightning redirection. "You almost died," she breathed, lifting her eyes to him.
"I would've, if it wasn't for you. But even if I had, it would be worth it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let her hurt you," he said earnestly.
Katara closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, you can't die. That wouldn't be right." She opened her eyes, her pupils still blown, but she stared at him with surprising intensity. She tilted her head curiously. "We can't always choose our family, but we can choose to learn from them."
"My uncle is my only family. My friends," Zuko said resolutely. "You."
"I'm your family?" she asked, an almost childlike wonder coloring her voice. Her heart swelled and Katara so desperately tried to hold onto this moment. But it felt like time was going too fast and just as quickly, the feeling faded. The fog in her brain wasn't letting her capture the memory the way she wanted to.
"We created our own family, didn't we? Aang, Sokka, Toph, Suki, even Teo and Haru and everyone else. You started it all by taking care of everyone and welcoming more along the journey, me included." He gave a small lopsided grin. "Well, eventually," he amended.
Katara smiled shyly in agreement. "Sometimes, I feel as though I'd like more," she admitted.
Zuko replied wryly, "You would take in strays. More mouths to feed. More chores to hand out."
"Not just more people... more. I want what Sokka and Suki found. What my mom and dad had. A big family of polar seal dogs. I don't mind being busy because it means that someone always needs me and is there with me."
"Katara—"
"My mom died and Dad always left us behind to fight in the war. Now? Sokka and Suki live with each other and the unagi. Aang flies around for his fans. Toph has her students and badgermoles. And you have your palace and volcanoes and court people. Wouldn't it have just been easier if I just sucked it up and stayed with Aang?"
"That's not fair to either of you," Zuko reminded her.
"But then I wouldn't be so alone," she pouted.
"If you won't let me be alone, then I won't let you be alone, either."
"For now," she pointed out. "But I probably won't see you for years and years until Sozin's next comet. You're always so busy. By then, everyone will have families and it'll just be me and Momo's great-great-great-grandchild in the South Pole." Her brow furrowed, her eyes lowered, and she began to chew on her lower lip anxiously.
Zuko raised an eyebrow and gently tugged her lip free, gently cupping the side of her face afterwards. Katara immediately pressed her cheek into his hand and stared up at him. He sighed and looked Katara in the eye, struggling to ignore the way his stomach flipped pleasantly at the complete trust in her gaze.
"I'm always here for you. Whenever you need me, just let me know. I haven't been to the South Pole in a while. And I was telling Aang... it's been a long time since I've had visitors come to the Fire Nation."
Katara smiled wistfully. "The Fire Nation is so warm, so pretty. And the beaches are so relaxing. I love how the light sparkles on the water and the sand is so toasty and perfectly gritty when it squishes in my toes. The sun is out for so much longer than in the South Pole and it feels so nice on my face." Then, her lips turned downwards and her brow furrowed again.
"There are always whispers when I go to visit the Fire Nation, though. About the color of my skin, the unruliness of my hair, the strangeness of my eyes."
His face falling, Zuko asked, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
Katara smiled at him patiently as if speaking with a young child. "Silly, you can't control other people's thoughts. There's nothing you can do about it."
"But you shouldn't have hid it from me!"
"You're such a good Fire Lord, Zuko. Why ruin it by mentioning a few mean girls?"
"Still," he insisted.
Katara laid back down, letting her eyes close and head loll. She shushed him and yawned. "I'm sleepy."
Zuko rolled his eyes and poked her in the side with his free hand. "Yeah right."
"Stay with me?"
"I'm here, aren't I?"
Katara moved to make room for him and looked up at him expectantly. Zuko hesitated but reluctantly let go of her hand and shucked off the heavy outer layers of his robes, leaving him in a simple shirt and pants. He lay down next to her, pillowing his head on his hands as he crossed them behind his head. "Okay," he agreed. Katara smiled at him again and he felt his stomach flip.
"Zuko?"
"Hm?"
"Just… do me a favor and don't marry one of those mean noblewomen, okay?"
Zuko laughed humorlessly. "Alright. I'll appoint you to screen any future Fire Lady applicants. A brand new position just for you."
Katara snorted and settled into the bed as she got more comfortable. "If that's the case, then I'm not approving any of them."
"None?"
"None," she said firmly. "None are good enough for you, Zuko."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Well I am," Katara sniffed. "And I've always had the better judgment between the two of us."
"Hardly," Zuko countered. "You always let your emotions get the better of you."
"Finding your future Fire Lady is a matter of the heart," she pointed out, turning to look at his profile.
Zuko's jaw clenched and he kept his eyes trained on the shifting shadows on the ceiling as the lone lantern in the room flickered. He closed his eyes, sighed heavily, and shook his head. He turned to meet her gaze. She was staring at him with a stubborn set to her mouth, her cheeks still slightly flushed. It was reminiscent of the way she would look at him years ago as they'd meet, duel after duel, during their year traveling the world before Sozin's comet.
"It's not that simple, Katara. Not for me."
"It is," she said simply. "You're overthinking it, as usual. You always overthink the most simple things."
Zuko pressed his lips together, a strange weight settling in his stomach as Katara unknowingly echoed his uncle's words from earlier that day. "I'm the Fire Lord," he said lamely.
"You're a person first. And you deserve to find a wife that loves you for you and that's that. The court be damned." Katara closed her eyes, looking quite pleased with herself.
Zuko stared at her in awe.
"Or a husband. Whatever strokes your fire. I shouldn't assume."
Zuko choked out a weak laugh at her cheek before grinning. "You sure you won't scare off any potential suitors?" Zuko joked.
"If they can't get past me, then they're not deserving of you."
"You think too highly of me."
Katara opened her eyes just to roll them at him. "Zuko, we've already gone over this. My sense of judgment is far better than yours." She grinned in the dim light and Zuko smiled back bashfully. "Leave it to me. You'll be married by next spring. Actually, that's probably not when most royal weddings take place, huh? Fine, then next summer."
Zuko made a face and arched an eyebrow at her. "Uncle's tea is making you far too bold."
"Tea, sch-mea," she scoffed.
"But if you're busy finding me a Fire Lady—"
"Or co-Fire Lord!"
"—how will you have time to find someone for you?"
"That ship sailed a long time ago. Besides, any man that was even remotely interested in me is probably intimidated because of my previous relationship with Aang. I can see how they stare and whisper around me. It's as if I'm a cursed widow."
Zuko stiffened as her words rang true. He wasn't blind to how some of the male delegates regarded Katara with trepidation. He rolled over completely to face her. "Katara, if there's anyone in this world who deserves to be loved and taken care of, it's you. You're too kind and generous to not have that kind of love reciprocated. And any idiot who can't see that doesn't deserve your time."
Katara smiled widely and lifted a hand to his face as she teased, "Who knew the grumpy Fire Lord had a sweet side?"
Then, she belatedly realized what she had done and gasped lightly. Her hand pressed against the scarred skin of his face. Zuko stared at her with his mouth agape, his good eye wide. While her thumb caressed the smooth skin of his jaw, grazing the corner of his mouth, her fingertips rested against the skin of his scar. The scar was warm, slightly raised above the rest of his skin. Since she was so close, she noticed how glossy the skin was. Without realizing, she was sliding her fingers over the sensitive skin with a feather light touch. Zuko didn't dare move, keeping his eyes trained on Katara's face. Her gaze was still slightly unfocused, as it had been since the tea's effects first took hold, but she watched her hand's movement with a careful sense of discovery.
She lifted her hand higher so that she could trace the edge of the scar to where it disappeared into his dark hairline, following through to the shell of his ear. Then, she completed her circle to cradle his cheek again, this time pressing her palm to his face.
"I'm sorry… I don't know why I did that…" she apologized, sounding the most like herself since she had entered the Jasmine Dragon earlier that night.
"It's okay," he breathed. He lifted his own hand and laid it on top of hers, trapping it in place.
"I shouldn't have… this is inappropriate of me to just touch your face like that."
Zuko huffed lightly. "In case you haven't noticed, we've been touching other's face all night. It's fine with me. Do you mind?"
Katara shook her head, venturing a shy smile that widened when Zuko returned it.
"You're the only one who's touched me here," Zuko admitted, his heart beating fast. "Most people choose to ignore it."
"Sometimes, I forget that this even exists… I just see you…"
Zuko smiled and Katara felt his cheek lift beneath her palm. "Sometimes, I think you're the only one who does."
Katara stared into his eyes, the golden depths warm and inviting. He was so guarded with everyone and she knew that she was very lucky to be allowed this close, physically and emotionally, to the usually private Fire Lord. She briefly looked away from his eyes to glance at his lips before darting her eyes back up.
Zuko caught her signal and as much as he wanted to fulfill her wish— his wish— he knew that he couldn't. He couldn't trust her judgment at the moment. Instead, he gently pulled her hand from his face, though he kept it clasped in his. He said in a rough voice, "Sleep, Katara. I'll be here. I'll stay with you."
She replied wryly, if not a bit disappointedly, "But for how long?"
With that, Zuko watched the Waterbender close her eyes, her dark lashes fluttering and full lips parting slightly as she breathed deeply and evenly. He sighed and pulled the blanket over her. Then, he extinguished the lantern in her room before closing his own eyes, her peaceful countenance the last thing he saw before drifting off, his hand still grasping hers between them.
Waking up early the next morning, Katara groaned and motioned to sit up and grasp her head, feeling what felt like the worst hangover for the second day in a row. As she did, she registered the extra weight around her waist that prevented her from sitting up completely. She opened her bleary eyes and saw dark red. She blinked to clear her vision and groggily realized that a pale arm was wrapped around her and her suspiciously warm pillow was actually a sleeping Fire Lord, whose chest she was snuggling into. Her eyes widened and she bit her lip to avoid making a noise. She could feel his breath against the baby hairs at her forehead as he tucked her close under his chin.
As her awareness increased, she realized that her head was pillowed on his bicep and her legs tangled with his longer ones. Her heartbeat increased and she felt her face heat up. Ignoring how her heart pounded, she slowly lifted her face up to look at Zuko. He looked so much younger when asleep. The nearly permanent crease in between his brows was gone and the usual tension he held in his jaw was missing. His lips looked fuller than usual, most likely because they weren't pressed into a hard line or pulled back in a snarl when his anger got the best of him. His raven hair had fallen out from his crown, which was askew, precariously balanced on the pillow he rested on. Katara smiled to herself when she noticed the light shadow on his jaw as she had never seen Zuko with facial hair, though she was sure he may adopt it soon, after seeing how Fire Nation men tended to favor it with age.
Katara continued her observation, again focusing her attention to his scar. Last night, Zuko had slept on his side so that it was completely visible, unlike when he would purposefully sleep so that it was hidden. It had been nearly a decade since Ozai had inflicted the injury and Katara knew that the scar would not fade further and would likely remain the same for the rest of Zuko's life, the bruise-like colors a permanent reminder of the former Fire Lord's cruelty and anger. Her mind traveled back to five years earlier, when she had touched the scar for the first time beneath this very city. How very different things could've been if she had used the water from the Spirit Oasis on him.
It may have meant the loss of the Avatar. But it may have also meant that Zuko's heart would've been turned sooner after she gained his trust. Or his betrayal would have hurt her even more.
Her eyes followed the pale skin, down his neck to the notch in the shirt he wore. She could just make out the edge of the sunburst-like scar that he had received in exchange for her safety. Due to her quick healing, while a scar remained, it wasn't as angry or mottled as the one on his eye. But she still felt somewhat protective over it, as if it was her scar and Zuko was just the one who was strong enough to bear it. Katara supposed that was actually the case. She didn't think that she would survive Azula's attack the way he did. The way he always did.
"How are you so strong?" she murmured under her breath.
"Hm?"
Katara nearly jumped until she reminded herself that Zuko was always a light sleeper. Zuko groaned lightly and Katara saw his eyes tighten before he blinked them open slowly. He lifted his head and looked down at her, a lazy smile on his face. Katara wondered if he was still half-asleep, the look on his face was so peaceful. He blinked again and took a deep breath, opening his eyes more certainly with his exhale.
She smiled shyly. "Good morning."
Zuko stared at her in confusion, as if he were just remembering where he was, before his eyes darted to the window in her room. The sky was still a pearly grey, indicating that dawn was yet to come.
"Not quite," he replied slowly. His voice was still thick with sleep and rougher than usual, Katara noted. It made her shiver and Zuko unconsciously pulled her in closer as he continued to scrutinize the sky outside her window. "If it was, I definitely would've been up. I'm surprised you're awake already."
He yawned unexpectedly and Katara fought to hide her light laughter at the rare sight of seeing Zuko early in the morning.
She watched his jaw shift and his expression made it seem as though he had come to a conclusion to something in his mind. Subtly, he shifted away from her to allow for more space between them. Katara immediately missed his warmth and instinctively moved towards him to chase his retreating heat. Zuko raised an eyebrow but didn't move away again.
"Especially since I'm sure your body is still recovering from the last two nights," he continued.
Katara nodded slowly. "Thirsty," was all she could say in response.
"Oh." Zuko made to move and disentangle himself from her again. "Let me go and get you—"
"Zuko, wait." Katara grabbed his shoulder to keep him from turning. "About last night," she began timidly.
Zuko tensed. "What about last night?" he hedged.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries at all. The tea Iroh made really lowered my inhibitions and I just wanted to apologize," she said in a rush. "I really unloaded a lot on you and you probably didn't want to hear it or talk about it. And I know that I owe Aang an apology, too."
With an understanding look in his eyes, Zuko assured her. "You have nothing to apologize for. Aang knows he owes you one. You should expect a letter from him soon." His expression sobered slightly. "He's eighteen," he reminded her. "Aang needs to learn that he can't always get what he wants and that he has to be held accountable for his words as well as respect others'. I can't emphasize enough that your words from last night require no apologies."
Katara grinned and after a beat, responded flippantly, "Good, because I meant every word."
Zuko met her gaze meaningfully and ignored her attempt to lighten the mood. "I've never lied to you, Katara."
He hadn't, Katara knew. For better or worse, Zuko wore his heart on his sleeve, always gave everything he had, and spoke honestly, even if to his own detriment. "And for what it's worth," he continued, "you can talk to me like that any time. I spend most of my time talking to advisors or noblemen with hidden agendas who try to trip me up by twisting their words or mine. Honest conversation is really refreshing to have. And you know most of my secrets."
That piqued Katata's interest and Zuko could tell by the glimmer in her blue eyes. "Most?"
"You know more than anyone else," he assured her.
Katara narrowed her eyes. "I'll spar you for the rest of them," she said in a singsong voice.
He laughed and Katara relished the carefree sound. "We'll destroy the house."
"No bending, then," Katara suggested, eager that Zuko didn't immediately deny her request. A small thrill traveled down her spine at the idea of sparring Zuko. It always brought out her best bending when she fought him and she still hadn't managed to achieve the same high after sparring someone else the way she had after sparring with him.
"Drink some water and get some breakfast in you, first. Then, we'll see," he deflected. His golden eyes moved over her, as if inspecting her to make sure that she was completely free of the tea's effects.
"I'm fine," she insisted.
Zuko's eyes continued their exploration of her and he surprised the both of them by tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear tenderly. "More than fine, it would seem," he murmured.
"Zuko," she whispered, worried that her own voice would scare him away. Unsure of why that scared her so much.
"Katara," he said softly. He leaned in and rest his forehead against hers, the tip of his nose lightly brushing against hers. "I…"
"Yes?"
"You're one of my best friends," he said emphatically.
"You're one of mine," Katara returned, slightly confused by the change in atmosphere.
"I respect you too much to do what you're asking of me."
Katara furrowed her brow. "What?"
Zuko sighed and pulled back to gently kiss her forehead, his lips soft and warm against her skin. Then, he pulled away completely. "I… I can't."
Katara felt as though she had been doused in ice water. She let out a breath so harshly it was as if she had the wind knocked out of her. It felt like a komodo rhino kick to her stomach. Immediately, she felt the heat rush to her face and her eyes stung and she knew that she had to hurry so that Zuko couldn't see her like this. She scrambled away and clumsily crawled past him to rush for the door, lacking her usual grace. Zuko stumbled a bit getting out of her bed but hurried after her.
"Katara, wait!"
Katara shook her head, ignoring the stream of tears that had managed to make it past her tightly shut eyes, rubbing her fist against her eyes roughly. She made it as far as the hall outside of her bedroom, grunting in shock when a wall of heat pressed along her back, strong arms wrapping around her middle. His breath rustled the hair near her ear as he caught his breath. His heart beat quickly against her shoulder blade. It was a perverse imitation of how she had woken up earlier that morning.
"Please," he asked.
"Zuko, there's nothing to discuss," she said shakily, her voice thick. "You're entitled to do what you want, you don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm just embarrassed, okay? I don't even know what came over me," she sniffled. "Spirits, what was I thinking?"
"Katara, please. Don't feel bad— I need to explain—"
She couldn't fight the sniffles as her tears began to flow freely down her face. Zuko buried his face in her hair and Katara shut her eyes tightly once more. "Zuko, please," she mirrored. "Let me have some dignity."
There was a rapping at the door that shook them out of their stupor. They both lifted their heads towards the door and Katara took the opportunity to break away from Zuko's loosened hold and rush towards the bathroom. He heard the lock engage and the sound of running water shortly thereafter and he sighed, raking his hand through his hair. His eyes lingered at the door until another knock gained his attention. He quickly made his way to the door and opened it to see one of the Earth King's assistants.
"Qing Zi?" he recalled.
The woman bowed quickly. "Fire Lord Zuko. King Kuei is requesting your and Master Katara's presence at the palace immediately. There is an urgent matter in one of the former Fire Nation colonies and the king needs your help."