Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender purely begins to Mike and Bryan. This is just my vain attempt to live past the series finale.
Summary: Building a new world is never easy. Years after the end of the war, one night between Zuko and Katara leads to the reveal of hidden truths and disrupts their plans of the peaceful lives they thought they'd have. Even when everything spins wild, they will always find each other. They could fight the entire Fire Nation together, but what are they willing to sacrifice when the other is on the line?
Last Time…
"Katara, wait!"
"Zuko, there's nothing to discuss," she said shakily, her voice thick. "You're entitled to do what you want, you don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm just embarrassed, okay? I don't even know what came over me," she sniffled. "Spirits, what was I thinking?"
"Katara, please. Don't feel bad— I need to explain—"
She couldn't fight the sniffles as her tears began to flow freely down her face. Zuko buried his face in her hair and Katara shut her eyes tightly once more. "Zuko, please," she mirrored. "Let me have some dignity."
There was a rapping at the door that shook them out of their stupor. They both lifted their heads towards the door and Katara took the opportunity to break away from Zuko's loosened hold and rush towards the bathroom. He heard the lock engage and the sound of running water shortly thereafter and he sighed, raking his hand through his hair. His eyes lingered at the door until another knock gained his attention. He quickly made his way to the door and opened it to see one of the Earth King's assistants.
"Qing Zi?" he recalled.
The woman bowed quickly. "Fire Lord Zuko. King Kuei is requesting your and Master Katara's presence at the palace immediately. There is an urgent matter in one of the former Fire Nation colonies and the king needs your help."
The carriage ride to the palace was uncomfortable, to the say the least. Katara had avoided all contact with Zuko, ignoring his offered hand when climbing in, and choosing to sit next to Qing Zi, keeping her pointed gaze on the scenery that passed by them. Zuko stared at her with a concerned set to his face. Qing Zi did not know more other than what she had informed Zuko when she knocked on their door and picked them up so the ride was silent and the young woman looked nervously between the two dignitaries, the energy between them much different from the last time she had seen them just a little over a fortnight ago.
When they arrived, Zuko exited the carriage first to open the door for the women and help them down. Katara kept her eyes steady on the ground and then at the palace ahead of her, ignoring his waiting hand while Qing Zu hesitantly took his lingering hand and bowed in front of him in thanks. Zuko nodded at her in acknowledgement but kept staring after Katara's back as she continued towards the palace.
Qing Zi led them into King Kuei's throne room, which had been massively reconfigured since his birthday celebrations. The vast space was now bare save for the throne and the long table before it, several of the seats occupied by Earth Kingdom governors as well as some of Zuko's generals. Katara recognized two tribal council leaders from the North Pole, nodding at them in acknowledgement. She and Zuko took their seats at the last two available seats, next to each other. Zuko snuck a look at Katara out of the corner of his eye, but she was as resolute in not looking at him as she was when she first ran out of her bedroom that morning.
Katara closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, feeling his gaze on the left side of her face. She kept her eyes on the table in front her, looking over the various maps strewn across the surface, only turning in Zuko's direction to give her attention to the Earth King once he began speaking. Zuko waited a beat to turn his attention to King Kuei, hopeful that she might glance at him, but her blue eyes were steely and steady as she avoided glancing at him.
"Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I know that today was meant to be a day of rest and a break from meetings, but the situation in one of the former colonies is quite urgent and requires us to come together and take immediate action." King Kuei gestured towards the scrolls on the table.
"We've received word of escalating tensions in the former colony of Yu Dao as we continue to implement Fire Lord Zuko and Avatar Aang's plans, known as the Harmony Restoration Movement. As you may know, we've finally begun implementing the policies that we detailed in the last few months. For now, Master Bei Fong and her students have stepped in and supplemented our forces in the region to help prevent any outbreak of violence, but we'd like to make sure that it doesn't get that far."
Zuko sighed. "Naturally." He reached for some of the maps. "Perhaps the Avatar and I acted too quickly in our plan to evacuate the Fire Nation presence in the region," he mused. "Our plan was to try and undo some of the damage that my ancestors caused."
One of the Earth Kingdom governors arched an eyebrow. "Does this mean that you'll renege on your agreement to pull back your forces?"
Several of the Fire Nation generals shifted in their seats, sitting up taller and leaning in.
"Of course not," Zuko replied coolly, holding up a hand to calm his men. "Many of the most recent troops have already returned to the Fire Nation so there are no more 'forces' to pull back. But obviously, the current plans to make sure all Fire Nation compatriots are returned aren't going as we had predicted."
Katara asked the governors, "Have the citizens of the former colonies voiced their reasoning behind the disagreement with the Avatar and Fire Lord's plan? What do your local mayors send word of?"
Another governor answered, "Master Katara, according to reports, it would appear that many of the Fire Nation citizens… simply don't want to leave."
Katara nodded. "Well that makes perfect sense."
The first Earth Kingdom governor scoffed. "Please, do tell. We would be honored to be enlightened by Master Katara herself," he sneered.
The two Northern Water Tribe men glared at him, their seats shifting slightly as if they were poised to rise from their seats. Katara heard the same happen on her left, but she fought the urge to turn to see Zuko's reaction. She looked at the maps in front of her and explained, "Many of these colonies have been established since the beginning of the Hundred Year War. The original settlers from the Fire Nation… they're already gone. It's their children and grandchildren, maybe even great-grandchildren, that you're sending back to the Fire Nation. And while they are Fire Nation citizens and of Fire Nation descent, it's a land that they do not know."
She turned to King Kuei, "These people, these families have known nothing except the land that they live on. The homes they've built. The businesses and relationships that they've cultivated for generations at this point. Most of them are laborers and merchants. They don't travel freely between the nations like soldiers or politicians. They may be citizens of the Fire Nation, but they are strangers to it."
"That is our land," another governor insisted.
"Have these citizens done any wrong? Since the war's end, their tax money has gone to the Earth Kingdom. They've not rioted or protested… until now. Even during the war, when I traveled to the Fire Nation colonies, I saw for myself… this land is their home, too."
The Northern Water Tribe council members nodded in agreement, understanding Katara's sentiments exactly. "Why would it be any different from the Northern and Southern Water Tribes? Two branches of the same tree. Even the sister tribes have slight differences in culture but we are proud to be called Water Tribe, all the same."
The same governor, Katara recalled his name was Da-Song, countered. "Are you suggesting that we turn them into Earth Kingdom citizens? They are not of the Earth Kingdom."
Katara frowned. "Maybe by birthright, ethnicity, or by political lines, but they've known nothing else."
The second governor, Jing, interjected, "They will learn and adapt in their home country, then. Imagine the strain on the Earth Kingdom's resources to answer for these new citizens."
"It's not that simple!" Katara insisted. "You're breaking up families. I've seen some of them during my travels. Many are mixed-heritage and contain members from both nations. You would send husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, away from their children? And what of these biracial children? Will you allow them to stay in the Earth Kingdom or banish them to a land that they've never known? Does it just depend on which parent they take after in looks? Are we destroying these peoples' lives based on that?"
"Master Katara is right," Zuko spoke up. "The Avatar and I thought that we were making the right choice by removing the colonies… I still think we are, but—" he looked pointedly at Katara when he heard her indignant scoff. "— that doesn't necessarily mean we should remove the occupants of the colonies."
King Kuei considered this and frowned. "And of the colonists who are proud to be Fire Nation? Will they allow themselves to be subjects of the Earth Kingdom? What course of action do we take if they refuse? Fire Lord Zuko, I don't think I need to remind you that you have already ceded the land to the Earth Kingdom. And the Earth Kingdom citizens will not like the idea of me giving it back to the Fire Nation."
Zuko clarified, "I wouldn't ask that of you. That land was forcibly taken and it wouldn't be right for the Fire Nation to keep it."
King Kuei sighed. "Perhaps I should've insisted the Avatar extend his stay so we could seek his counsel."
"Avatar Aang told me that he agreed to the Harmony Restoration Movement as it's his duty to maintain balance between all four nations. That was our intention when we created the plans. But if this is the outcome, then we should listen to Master Katara's suggestion. Ripping apart families does not create the harmony or balance we are seeking."
His gold eyes slid over to meet blue for the first time since that morning and Katara nodded at him in thanks. Zuko inclined his head at her before addressing the council. "These are people, not pai sho tiles. We can't shift them around as such."
Da-Song sighed. "The question still stands. Who do they answer to? King Kuei or Fire Lord Zuko?"
"Have we asked them?" Katara countered.
"Da-Song is right, Master Katara, it's not that simple," one of the Fire Nation generals said. "How can we expect these people to know what they want?"
The younger of the Northern Water Tribe men cut in, "You would be surprised. Even the Northern Water Tribe has modified its government structure in the wake of the war to make sure all of its citizens have an equal voice. The ways of our ancestors are not always right. Or have we already forgotten? The only way this era of peace can remain is if we accept change."
"Very well. Shall we send two thousand messenger hawks to Yu Dao to ask every man, woman, and child their opinion?" Da-Song drawled.
"No." Katara stood and turned to King Kuei. "If you'll allow it, I'd like to travel to Yu Dao myself and help."
"Master Katara, in good conscious, I can't allow you to be put in such danger."
"King Kuei, with all due respect, during one of my first visits to Ba Sing Se, I was attacked and held captive by the Dai Li in the catacombs under this very palace. I survived that and much more during the war."
"She won't be going alone," Zuko added.
Katara's eyes flashed and she awarded Zuko with a second glance that day, though her usually warm eyes had a hard glint to them. "Fire Lord Zuko—"
"Master Katara is more than capable of handling herself. My desire to travel with her to Yu Dao is not a reflection of her abilities to take care of herself or my opinion of them. But she's right. The only way to solve this is head-on and by talking to the people themselves to see what kind of resolution can be reached. There has to be something we haven't though of yet. I believe it is my purpose to atone for my forefathers' wrongdoings and I want to be a part of the solution to the mess they made." He met her gaze again. "If you'll allow me to join you," he amended.
Katara gave him a long stare before nodding sharply. Zuko turned to King Kuei. "And if you'll allow us to do this. After all, the land is technically the Earth Kingdom's."
King Kuei considered the duo, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses. He nodded sharply. "Very well. You'll leave by nightfall and arrive in Yu Dao by late morning. I suggest you prepare immediately. I'll send a carriage to your dwellings as soon as our meeting is adjourned."
"Fire Lord Zuko can utilize his eel hounds," one of the generals offered. Katara considered the man closely and remembered him as being one of Zuko's crew when he chased them. "We can have the hound prepared quickly and it will allow them to reach Yu Dao much sooner."
"Thank you, General Jee," Zuko bowed his head slightly to the older man. "While I am away, I trust that you'll speak in my best interests until I return."
"Of course, my lord."
Katara raised an eyebrow at that as it was unheard of for the leader of a nation to bow to anyone in a lesser station. Especially for the Fire Nation. Especially for Zuko. Katara considered the general again and recalled that he was a lieutenant when she last saw him before they were all scattered in the Earth Kingdom after the Siege of the North. For him to rise through the ranks as one of Zuko's generals must mean that Zuko held this man in high esteem and trusted him deeply as she knew that the process of rebuilding his cabinet was painstaking and a source of paranoia for Zuko.
She spoke, "As I am the only representative of the Southern Water Tribe attending this summit, I'd like to appoint Inuk as my temporary stand in for all manners concerning the Southern Water Tribe. I trust him to keep my tribe's best interests at heart until I can return from Yu Dao."
The younger Northern Water Tribe man from before widened his eyes before lowering his head to Katara in a short bow, a fist over his heart. "It would be my honor, Master Katara."
Katara returned the bow before taking her seat at the table again. King Kuei gestured and one of his servants brought Bosco to the throne. The Earth King affectionately patted the large bear's head before heaving another sigh.
"I do wish you luck. I'd join you myself if I could step away from the summit. I'll send word of the representative going in my place once he agrees. I believe Haru will make a fine choice as his village is in the Western Earth Kingdom, near the location of the former colonies so he'll be able to meet you there quite quickly. And I recall that you both are acquainted with him. I'll also send word to see if it is possible for Avatar Aang to join you there. It may be best for the colonists to speak with heroes from the war and not bureaucrats. I look forward to hearing from you about the state of Yu Dao shortly."
Katara said, "We'll send frequent updates, of course."
Zuko assured him, "As soon as we reach an agreement, we'll send word by messenger hawk with official documents."
"Thank you all for meeting with me on such short notice. I trust that the governors will offer any support that you'll need during this journey. After all, we are all acting in the interest of harmony between all nations. It is hard work."
"Bitter work," Zuko agreed wryly. "But it's work that must be done."
Once King Kuei ended the meeting, Katara hurried out of the throne room. Zuko rose to go after her, but held back for a moment to provide General Jee with instructions as well as coordinate the supplies to be packed with the eel hound they'd be using on their journey.
"Of course, Fire Lord Zuko. We'll pack light but efficiently. You and Master Katara will want for nothing on your journey. I'll have the eel hound ready and outside of your lodgings within the hour."
Zuko grasped the older man's shoulder in thanks before nodding and rushing out of the throne room to catch up to the Waterbender. He sprinted through the palace halls, his robes billowing around him. The other members of the meeting shared bewildered looks. The Northern Water Tribe Men sent the Fire Nation generals an inquisitive glance, but the generals could only shrug.
"We've never seen Master Katara act this way."
"Nor have we with Fire Lord Zuko."
Governor Da-Song groaned. "Well they are our only hope at the moment. Let them get over their lovers' spat and hope that they'll be able to focus on their job."
Once more, the Water Tribe men and Fire Nation men shared an uneasy glance over the Earth Kingdom man's flippant comment.
As Zuko burst through the main entrance, he caught sight of her hurrying across the courtyard. "Katara!" he called out. Katara didn't respond, but he saw her back stiffen before her pace increased. "Shit," he cursed, before running after her, leaping down the palace steps, skipping multiple with each leap as he rushed towards Katara.
He had just made it to the carriage as Katara hurried in, trying to close the door behind her. He wrenched it open and climbed in before the carriage began moving. Katara pursed her lips and glowered at him before pointedly turning to stare out the window as she did during their initial ride to the palace.
"Were you really going to just leave me stranded at the palace? We arrived in the same carriage!"
At her silence, Zuko sighed. "Aren't we too old for the silent treatment?"
Katara said nothing, but Zuko could have sworn that the temperature in the carriage dropped. As soon as the carriage stopped, Katara darted out and practically ran into the house.
Zuko growled under his breath, his patience wearing thin. He was right behind her as they entered the house and as soon as the door closed behind him, he called out again, "Katara!"
Katara's shoulders were high as she tensed. She stopped walking away but still faced away from him. "Zuko, it's okay," she grit out. "I understand and I don't need you to explain anything to me. I'm stupid and I was…. I don't know, feeling a lot of pity for myself and... and you were doing the honorable thing by not taking advantage of it. I'm embarrassed, okay?" she said in a rush.
She continued, "Don't worry, I get it. It's different for us. You're the Fire Lord. I'm the daughter of the Chieftain, but let's be honest, it's just in name. The Southern Water Tribe is still not, by any means, a grand nation or kingdom. And my father's blood isn't royal or noble. You were doing the smart thing," she ended coolly.
"Please, Katara, just listen to me." Zuko stepped towards her. "You misunderstood—"
Katara whirled around, her blue eyes alight with emotion. "I misunderstood? Zuko, don't insult me further. That's two nights in a row that you very obviously refused the moment— forget it! I told you. I get it. No one expects the Fire Lord to be with a dirty, Water Tribe peasant—"
"Katara, stop!" Zuko snarled.
"— no one expects you to have the Avatar's sloppy seconds—"
Zuko saw red.
He snapped, "Damn it, Katara, just shut up! Agni, I know you're feeling defensive because you're embarrassed and I'm sorry about that. But my behavior this morning— that's not what I meant at all and you fucking know it!"
Katara reeled back from his anger and tone, but true to form, she did not shy away for long. She stepped towards him and demanded, "Then what could you have possibly meant by turning me away twice? If it's not because you interpret it as a show of pity? If it's not because I'm so beneath you? Tell me, Zuko! What could I have possibly misunderstood this morning?"
"Don't do that. Don't try to turn it around as if… as if I rejected you," he spoke in a small voice now, his hands shaking.
"You did," Katara said plainly.
"I didn't," he insisted. "You were drunk after King Kuei's birthday and you were high on cactus juice last night so forgive me if I wanted to make sure I was acting appropriately!"
Katara barked out a harsh laugh. "Cut the bullshit, Zuko. Is this payback? Because of how I initially rejected you at the Western Air Temple? When we were children?" She continued to laugh coldly. Zuko winced at the sound, unnerved at hearing the biting sound from Katara. "Well, you win, Zuko! You've managed to get in the last punch. That's three times now that you've rejected me and thrice that you've hurt me— and again in Ba Sing Se. You've really got a poetic sense of justice, don't you? I really applaud you for your patience and playing the long game," she hissed.
"No, that's not it! Agni, can't you see why I made my choices?" Zuko stepped even closer to her, such that Katara's chest nearly brushed his with the way they were both breathing heavily. "You said it yourself, poured your heart out to me ever since we arrived in this damn city. Always the Avatar's Waterbending teacher or the Avatar's girlfriend or the Chief's daughter or the Southern Water Tribe's healer. Next, you want to be the Fire Lord's… what? I didn't even know the horrible things my court was saying about you behind my back. I can't even protect you from my own people! If I heard them slander you, I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably burn down the entire capital! I respect you too much to subject you to that kind of treatment."
"So you've said", she sneered bitterly, her eyes turning glassy from unshed tears. She held her hands in tight fists at her side.
Zuko sighed. "I respect you because you are my best friend. You understand me like no one else does and I understand you in the same way. I know that you don't want to be trapped in the rules and webs of court life in the Fire Nation. It would stifle you."
"Stop assuming you know what I want. Spirits, you're just like every other man in my life, dictating what I should want and do for myself. Why does what your people think of me matter? Why can't you just admit that you don't think of me in that way, Zuko? Instead of leading me on— it's less hurtful," she sniffed.
He ducked his head and grabbed her shoulders to meet her eyes, held her with his gaze and not just his hands. "You deserve more. You deserve the freedom you've earned. No titles, no expectations. A life that is yours to live. That's all I want for you. If I were to act upon what I wanted? That's not fair to you and I can't do that." His hands slid from her shoulders to gently wrap themselves at the nape of her neck, cupping her face. "I can't be the one to hold you back. Or make you even more of a target."
"Do you even hear yourself? If this is about what I want… then why aren't you listening to me? We're both adults, free to make our own choices. I'm not a helpless little girl who needs you to save her— I've kicked your ass plenty of times. I can take care of myself. I can handle a few ugly words and anything else the world tries to throw at me."
Zuko shut his eyes against the conviction in her words. The fire in her eyes. "Katara, please don't make this harder than it has to be."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she scoffed. "Have I inconvenienced you, terribly, Fire Lord Zuko? Please forgive me."
"Katara, I don't take this lightly."
Katara scoffed and grabbed his wrists to pull them away, but Zuko wouldn't budge. "Neither, do I! I don't even know what we're fighting over. It's fairly obvious to me. You don't like me in that way. I get it. I respect it," she mocked. "Just stop feeding me excuses and lies to try and make me feel better. You're so damn dramatic and I let you set off my temper and turn it into this whole thing. It's not even that serious. I was drunk and hungover and I flirted a little bit because I thought you were, too. Let it go!"
Zuko glared at her. "I've never lied to you. I meant every single word I said to you last night. I wasn't trying to play games! And you have inconvenienced me! Do you think that I want to feel this way, knowing I can't do a damn thing about it? And now you're the one twisting the whole thing and making it about something else entirely because you're embarrassed and angry and acting like a stuck-up little brat about it!"
"You're the Fire Lord, Zuko, you can do whatever the hell you want!" she shot back. "You know what, I don't know what you expected, it's not like I even wanted to. You were just right there," she sneered.
Ignoring the sting of her words, Zuko insisted, "You have it all wrong, Katara. Being the Fire Lord means that I'm more restricted and have to constantly be in control of my actions. Give up the things I want for the sake of my people. The potential repercussions are much more damaging."
"Spare me the sob story, Zuko!"
Ignoring her, he pressed even closer. "You want to know why I'm still alone? Why Mai left me? Why I can't even look Aang in the eye without feeling an ocean of guilt? Why it's not as easy as you think to just flirt a little? It's because of this."
He rushed her and all of a sudden, Katara was surrounded by Zuko. His fingers tangled into the curls at the nape of her neck and his other arm snaked around her waist, pulling her in tight as he pressed against the small of her back. Their bodies collided and Katara felt his firm frame against her, under her palms as she placed her hands against his chest to regain her balance. His heat warmed her from head to toe. But despite the ferocity he spoke with, his lips met hers gently and Katara was so shocked by how soft they were. Her eyes closed and before she knew it, her hands glided across his chest and over his shoulders so that they could lazily loop around his neck. Zuko pulled her lower lip between both of his and gently nipped at it, causing her to gasp. He took this opportunity to deepen the kiss, coaxing her tongue to meet his, swallowing her resultant moan. The sound spurred him on and he dragged her body even closer, his hand splayed across her lower back and gripping tightly. The two of them reveled in the warmth that spread through their bodies, settling low in the pits of their cores.
Eventually, Zuko eased back, the firm press of his lips against hers turning into gentle brushes, dusting her face with light kisses. First, the corner of her mouth, each of her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her forehead. With a final kiss to her lips, he pulled back. Katara blinked her eyes open and stared at him with slightly dazed eyes and swollen lips, an image that Zuko would forever commit to his memory.
"Now you know," he said, his voice husky. "I could never let myself lose control before because... I'd drown in you, Katara. I don't know how I could ever go back to before..."
But she furrowed her brow in confusion. "You… I don't understand," she said softly. "I thought... you didn't have to..."
"I told you last night that you know most of my secrets," Zuko whispered, his voice low and breathless. He loosened his hold on the back of her neck so that his fingers gently stroked through her hair. "This is the last one, Katara. You could never just be a drunken fling or a casual, one time thing for me. And I've been keeping it a secret because I didn't want to get my hopes up or be disappointed by rejection. I wouldn't even let myself accept it for the longest time. I still deny it because admitting would make it even worse. Selfishly, I just knew that it would be too hard to let you go afterwards that I didn't want to try. Because you deserve so much better than me. But now you know."
Blue orbs widened in shock. "I never knew… you never said…" she maintained.
"How could I?" Zuko gave her a sad smile, the slightest quirk of his lips. "I'm just the Fire Nation boy that hurt you too many times. And you were in love with Aang. How could I tell you that you mean everything to me?"
"You're not just the Fire Nation boy that hurt me. You're the one that proved me wrong. That saved my life. That understood what it was like to have someone taken from you the way I have. That—"
"Grew up into the man… who shouldn't feel the way he does. Because it's not fair to you."
Katara look at him with an odd mixture of hope, fear, and sadness in her eyes. "Zuko… when…?" Her mouth continued to move but no sound came out as the revelation of Zuko's secret washed over her.
He gave her another odd smile. "Does it matter? To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure of that myself. After the crystal catacombs? When I first came to the Western Air Temple? When I helped you find your mother's murderer? When we sat next to each other to see the Ember Island Players? When I saw Azula try to strike you with lightning and knew with every fiber of my being that I couldn't let that happen?"
He took a shaky breath and tenderly tucked an errant curl behind her ear. Katara shivered from the feathery touch of his fingers against her skin. She saw Zuko's eyes hone in on her reaction sharply.
"With every letter you've sent me? The way you share your joy and your frustrations so intimately and take mine in stride because you just get it... understand me. Maybe it was the moment I washed up on the shores of the Southern Water Tribe and saw you there with Sokka's sorry excuse of a defensive wall. I don't know, Katara. It just happened and I still haven't really allowed myself to accept it, either. And then seeing you show up here in person for the first time in a year..."
The two chuckled lowly and Katara sniffled as she didn't realize she had begun crying while Zuko spoke. "All of this time…"
"Will you please believe that I have nothing but the most honorable of intentions with you?"
Katara scoffed. "Coming from you? I feel like an idiot for not realizing that sooner." Her face fell and she sighed. "You stubborn, stubborn man. But then why—"
"I meant what I said earlier. It wasn't just an excuse. Because I don't want you to get hurt or become a target. Being with me would put you in constant danger. From my enemies, from any traitorous countrymen, from me. I don't want to hurt you ever again."
"Your enemies are already my enemies."
"It's not the same. My enemies now are the whispers in the corridors, the secret meetings in dark pubs, insurgents hiding out in the forests. I refuse to let them turn their attention on you."
"How could—"
Zuko insisted, "The greatest way to hurt me, is to hurt you. And those you love." Zuko caressed her cheek before bringing her hands up to his lips to delicately kiss her knuckles. "And you love so many. I won't let my selfishness hurt them. Your family, your students, your many, many friends. And it wasn't an excuse to say that I think you deserve much more than what I could offer you. And that you should experience the life you choose to live, undefined by anyone else. I'm a little jealous of your freedom…"
Zuko's face twisted and Katara frowned in confusion at the expression until he slowly let go of Katara and stepped back from her. Hurt splashed across her face and Zuko felt his stomach turn in knots at the expression. She held her hands out, supplicating.
"If this is about me living my own life... Don't I get a say in this?" she asked in a small voice. Katara watched him screw his eyes shut.
"I already know what you're going to say."
She laughed humorlessly. "Am I really that predictable?" She took another step, but Zuko moved away again.
"You should know better by now, Zuko. Water always finds a way through." Katara lunged towards him, taking him by surprise, and gripped his face in her hands. Her blue eyes were earnest, pleading. "Zuko, please. Let me—"
Long, pale fingers covered her brown ones. "If I knew that you were certain, there'd be no question. Katara, you know me. I'm a man of extremes. If I were to agree to what you're asking… I want nothing less than a real shot. Nothing to cloud our judgment. No half-measures. And you deserve the chance to live your life to your heart's wishes and without feeling as if you don't have control of it. I know that's what you've been seeking these last few months. Every conversation we've had always goes back to that. And if the spirits are kind to me for once in my damn life and you decide afterwards that you still want to try this… me… nothing would make me happier."
"Oh, Zuko," she whispered.
"I would wait until you're ready."
Katara's lip trembled and she took a deep breath before she spoke. "And what if it takes too long?"
"I'm a patient man," he shrugged.
"Zuko." She frowned at his halfhearted joke. They both knew that neither of them was that patient.
He sighed. "I've chased you around the world before… I'd chase you to the Spirit World and back if I had to. Most importantly, I don't want to be a regret for you."
"You're so wrong, Zuko." Katara's fingers tightened on his face. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve this. You've been through so much and you're such a good man. You deserve the woman of a lifetime."
"She's right here. I don't want anyone else."
Katara's stomach jumped into her throat at his words and simultaneously felt as though it was filled with dragonfly hummingbirds. "How can you know that?" she asked under her breath. "And with so much certainty?"
Zuko chose his words carefully. "For a long while, I thought that I was just jealous of what I saw between you and Aang and how Mai and I never shared it. And how I could never find that kind of connection with someone. And then, when Mai and I broke up, I thought that those feelings would go away since I wouldn't have the pressure of trying to match this standard I created in my head. But they didn't. Then, I thought that I was just lonely and projecting my desire for a healthy relationship onto you. But then... again, I'm not exactly sure when, but I realized that it wasn't just the relationship I was searching for. It was you. Just you."
"You deserve more than half-answers," she said quietly, repeating his words. "And I don't know if I can give you that right now. Zuko, I... I mean, yes, I like you. But I wasn't looking for a new relationship and I just thought that maybe I had a crush or something. This escalated more quickly than I anticipated and I'm not sure if I can reciprocate your feelings completely, not in the way you're asking," she admitted. She pulled her hands back, but Zuko held onto her fingertips so that she couldn't completely retreat.
He intertwined them and agreed, "That's fair."
"I'm sorry."
He smiled kindly, if not a bit disappointedly. "Don't apologize for how you feel. I'm not. I appreciate the honesty."
"You and your damn honor. Any other man would've just let it happen."
"I couldn't. It would mean too much to me."
Katara tugged him closer, forcing him to wrap his arms around her since their hands were still intertwined. She slowly disentangled her fingers and buried her face in his chest. Zuko took a deep breath and tightened his embrace, feeling her smaller arms reach around his torso in return. "No matter what, Zuko, you're always going to be one of my best friends."
Zuko tucked her head under his chin, gently cradling the back of her head and resting his cheek on the crown of her head. "No matter what," he concurred.
Katara hummed happily, her cheeks warming, and she placed her hand on his chest, over his heart.
With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped the tears from Katara's cheeks. "Do me a favor? Keep it safe, would you? You may not have realized it, but you've been the one holding it for the last few years."
Nodding, Katara's hand tightened over his shirt.