A/N: KISHAN! Explanations in the near future. When you get to the explanation, please keep in mind that I am not saying that any of the religion bit is true, or that it remotely makes any sense. Nor am I saying that it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard and it absolutely has to be true because, well, it does. Take your pick :) R&R!
"Kishan!" I shriek. "Wha-how-,"I stutter as he sweeps me up into a bear hug. "Careful!" I shout. "Baby on board!"
"I missed you, too, Kells," he laughs as he gently sets me down.
"But-," I stammer. "You-you-you stayed as Durga's tiger. And you wrote us a letter saying how you were happy. How are you here?" I hiss.
"Why don't you come inside, and I'll tell you," he says with a smile. During this entire exchange, Ren has been opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
"Brother?" he finally manages to say, his eyes filling with tears.
"Yes, Dhiren," Kishan says.
"You will explain everything?" Ren asks.
"Yes. Come inside, and all, well, most, will become clear."
~TR~
When we are all situated in the library, Kishan gestures at Nik. "I assume that is the baby I saw?"
I smile. "Yes. This is Anik Kishan. I would let you hold him, but he's asleep," I say as I angle my son so his uncle can see him. Kishan grins, and then sighs.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here when he was born," he says sadly.
"Why are you apologizing?" I say, confused. "It's not like there was anything you could do about."
"I wasn't apologizing, it was like…'I wish I was' kind of 'I'm sorry I wasn't'," he explains.
"Oh," I frown. "Again, it's not like there was anything you could do about it."
"I still wish I could've been here," he says firmly. "I wish that I was here when you guys got married, and I wish I was here all through Nilima and Sunil dating so that I could tease both of them about it. I'm not sorry for the life I got instead, but I am sorry for the life I missed. And I am most sorry for the pain I caused you. All of you, by leaving," he says.
"Oh, Kishan," I say, touching his cheek. "It's okay. Ren bugged Sunil and Nilima enough for both of you, and you only missed out on a lot of crying and dirty diapers with Nik." As if to prove my point, Nik suddenly starts screaming. "See?" I say with a small smile. I rock him and pat his back and cradle him, but he doesn't stop. I feel my hair starting to frizz, and I give Ren a frantic look.
"Give him to me," Ren says, holding his hands out. I hand our son over, and Ren murmurs to him in Hindi. Nik soon quiets, and I continue.
"I told you it was a lot of crying. You haven't experienced the dirty diapers yet, and you don't want to."
"I don't know. Ghima was pretty bad," Kishan says with a smile. Ren and I both look puzzled. "My, um," Kishan stops and counts on his fingers, "thirteenth child."
"What?" I shriek. "How man kids do you have?"
"Hang on," he says as he counts on his fingers again, only for a much longer period of time. "Fifty-two," he says triumphantly, like he was proud of himself for being able to remember all of his kids. I stare, open-mouthed.
"What?" he says defensively. "I've been married for almost four hundred years, Kells. I'm honestly surprised that there aren't more, but Mika doesn't get pregnant very easily."
"Okay, too much information, Kishan," I say, motioning for him to stop. "I know I never loved you as much as Ren, but I was still engaged to you at one point."
"Sorry," he says. But he says it with a grin, so I know he's not. "Any way, I should probably explain some things."
"Understatement," I snort.
Kishan smiles. "Yeah, you're right. Well, my wife, your sister," Kishan says, nodding at Sunil, "sent me here, because there is something else she needs," he says bluntly.
All of a sudden I can't breathe. "We have to go on another quest?" I say worriedly. "But what about Anik?" We can't just miss six months of his life, and he can't come with us," I say, starting to cry. "And we need to plan Nilima and Sunil's wedding, and we have a life outside of saving you two now. Ren and I live in Oregon, I have a weekly babysitting job for Sarah and Mike, and…," I stop as I see Ren glaring at Kishan.
"Not to mention the fact that Kelsey is pregnant again," Ren says; very, very, angry.
Kishan's eyes widen. "Well then. Congratulations, first," he says with a smile. "How far along are you?"
"Two months," I reply. "I'm due on February twelfth."
"Then we will leave in March," Kishan says definitely. "I will not let you go on a quest pregnant."
I snort. "While I am very glad that you feel that you feel that way, as I do too, I don't appreciate the fact that you are telling me what to do," I say with a smile.
"Too bad," he says. "I have a feeling that Ren agrees with me."
"You feel correctly," Ren says smugly. At my glare, he answers, "What? You know that I've always done what will keep you safe, even if you don't like it."
"I know," I sigh resignedly. "That doesn't mean that you can tell me to do whatever you want."
"I know that, Kells," he says with a sigh identical to mine.
"Good," I say, ending the conversation. "Kishan, what is it exactly that we need to do?"
"Well, Mika needs the Holy Book. It's basically a survivor's crash course in all the religions. The parts that are real, that is. For example, most of Hinduism is based in fact. The gods are real, and their duties are real, except that they can't punish mortals. In Christianity, the idea that one god would control everything, without lieutenants is ridiculous. However, there is one unnamed being that rules over all gods. Everything kind of ties in together.
"When Pangaea split into different continents, the unnamed force sent groups of his 'minions', for lack of a better term, around to different parts.
"The Hindu group originally called themselves 'the Ganges' and then named the river after their old name. They split up domains according to interests, and then started appointing monarchs, and setting up society. The same happened with the Greek gods, and the Egyptian gods, but he unnamed force wanted to start a few religions that were monotheistic."
"Wait," I interrupt. "Why is it an 'unnamed force, being, etcetera?"
"Because he, well, it, is so removed from the rest of us, that no one even knows if it is male or female. It used to be friends with all of its people, but when they split, it had to remove itself. Durga wasn't one of the original lieutenants, as you well know," he says, nodding his head at me. "In Greece, the gods could make one of their favorite mortals immortal, and in Egypt, there were the gods that decided to abide in a human's body, making a 'godling' and that human could do magic and fight better with the god's help," he says.
I stare. "And I thought that the Indian mythology stuff was complicated."
Ren smiles. "Well, at least we have more options for places this time, since we can look at all the myths instead of just Hindu's," he comments.
"Actually, everything we'll need is from Indian," Kishan clarifies. "We will have to go to another temple and Ana will have gifts and the prophecy for us."
I exhale a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. "So we won't be going into this blind."
"Not at all," Kishan reassures me. "I've gotten better at seeing small things in poetry or riddles, so I might be able to pick something up that you guys wouldn't, and we all have more experience with the world. It should be a lot easier," he says calmly.
I realize something that makes tears come into my eyes. "But we won't have Mr. Kadam," I say in a whisper.
Ren looks at me with a soft gaze. "Kelsey, look at me." I raise my watery eyes to his, and he smiles a little. "We are going to be okay. We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"No, I do," I say as I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Let me see Nik," I say, holding my arms out. I cradle my son close, and he calms me. He stares up at me with unknowing eyes, and I touch his head. Nik squirmed in my arms, and fluttered his eyes closed. I smile, look up at Kishan and Ren, and take a shaky breath. "I do," I repeat.
"Okay," Kishan says softly. "Kells, you remind me a lot of Mika. You are both wonderful mothers."
"Thank you," I say with a smile. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put Anik to bed."
As I make my exit, Ren and Kishan start murmuring in Hindi to each other. I smile, and make my way to the nursery. When I got pregnant with Anik, Ren wanted to build a whole new wing onto the house for our kids, but I put my foot down.
Instead, we decided to change Mr. Kadam's room. We all agreed that he would have liked the idea that his surrogate grandson was sleeping in his room, and it was the closet room to Ren and me.
The room still looks the same, but with a crib instead of a bed and a changing table instead of a dresser. We also added a rocking chair next to Mr. Kadam's favorite armchair. I sit in the rocking chair and slowly rock back and forth while humming a lullaby.
I watch as my son slowly drift away from reality, and I'm glad that he doesn't have to deal with demon monkeys or giant sharks to save the one he loves from being a tiger for most of her life. Another tear slips down my cheek as my rocking slows to a stop.
Before Nik was born, I thought that my heart was at full capacity. I couldn't love anything else the way I loved Ren. And I was right, in a sense. I don't love Anik any more than Ren, or even in the same way. It's an all consuming fire, like Ren's, but with Ren it sometimes flares into a passion that can't be ignored, and sometimes, when I am mad at him, it flares up into a fire that I would allow to consume him. My love for Anik is like a house fire. It normally is kind, gentle, and warm, but if you stoke it incorrectly, it can burn down everything in its path. I'd always thought that I could never love anyone as much, or even more, as Ren. But then. Then Anik was born. I didn't love Ren any less, and I didn't love Anik more. It was like my garden heart expanded to include bushes of baby's breath as well as bowers of tiger lilies.
If Lokesh kidnapped Anik, I wouldn't hesitate to go after him. I guess it took having a baby to understand that side of Ren. I would absolutely forget Anik to save him. I never told Ren that, because he would be so proud of himself that I would never hear the end of it.
I look down at Anik and see that he is fast asleep. I slowly stand up, and then take him over to the changing table. I make sure that he is asleep, and I place him gently down, and then squat down to get a set of pajamas out. I steadily remove his clothes, change his diaper, and put his pajamas on. As I set him down in his crib, turns over and starts sucking on his thumb. I smile sadly and push a blanket to the far edge of the crib. I consider the blanket for a minute, and then I pull it out of the crib entirely.
I cup Nik's head for a second, and then I go back to the library. Ren and Kishan are still speaking in Hindi, so I walk up behind Ren, but Kishan sees me. He starts to say something, but I shake my head. I tiptoe to right behind Ren as he and Kishan resume talking. My hands dart from my sides and cover his eyes. Ren visibly jumps.
"Oh, man, I am a big fan of this no-tiger-hearing thing," I say I as laugh so hard I have to wipe a tear from my eye. "I have never been able to scare you."
Kishan is also laughing, and Ren is steaming. "Kelsey."
"What?" I look up quizzically at his dark tone.
"Please don't do that."
"Okay. But what's wrong with scaring you?"
"When I was growing up, I was taught to attempt to incapacitate anyone who snuck up on me," he explains gently. "I almost hit you."
"Really? What if you and Kishan were playing?" I ask incredulously.
"We didn't play. We were taught to be polite, charming, and clever, but never to play," he said. "The closet we came to playing were the games of Parcheesi that we played with our parents and Mr. Kadam. And even those were meant to teach us strategy."
"How sad. Now I have two people to teach how to play." Then I gasp. "You grew up before TVs."
"Yes. I think I am catching up on the missed time, though," Ren says with a wry smile. He does watch TV a lot.
"No, that's not what I meant. You never watched Disney movies!" I point out.
"So?" Ren asks with a weird look on his face. "Do I really need to watch Disney movies?"
"Yes!" I shriek.
"Shh," Ren says hurriedly. "Didn't you say Anik was asleep?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry," I wince.
"Don't apologize to me. You are going to be the one try to get him back down," Ren says.
"Oh, hush," I say as I swat him on his abnormally large bicep. "He's fine."
Kishan clears his throat. "So, you two, of you would like to focus on the task at hand, I have something else to tell you."
I drop my playful demeanor and sit down next to Ren. Ren sneaks his hand into mine, and I hold on tight.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Well, that's just it. I have no idea. The only thing I remember about the last three hundred years is my personal life, with Ana and the kids, and the fact that we need to retrieve the Holy Book," he says forlornly.
"Kishan, I'm sure you'll remember. At least you remember the one you love. She had the decency to do that for herself, I guess," I say meanly. I still haven't gotten over the fact that she didn't warn me about that.
"Kelsey, she couldn't let Ren remember you but not the other stuff because you were the thing that he had to forget," he points out.
"I know," I grumble. Ren squeezes my hand. "Anyway, continue."
"Well, as I said, I have no idea what is going on any more than you guys, except that Mika left me with one thing," he says ominously.
"What's that?" I ask cautiously. Ren also murmurs something under his breath.
"I remember her saying 'Begin like she did in Oregon,' before I-left, I guess," Kishan recalls.
"Well, that could mean anything. Get a job at the circus, make friends with a tiger, go to India, run off into a jungle with a tiger, meet a weird old shaman who also turns out to be a time-," I freeze. "That's got to be it."
"What's got to be it?" Ren and Kishan ask in unison.
"We have to go see Phet."