A/N: Sorry guys for not post for awhile. Life got in the way and I kind of got writer's block for where I wanted to take this part of the story. I hope I did well.
Disclaimers: Do you really have to rub it in?
Enjoy! :)
The TARDIS landed with a THUD! back on Earth. The Doctor walked out of the doors first looking for someone. While Donna and I hung back to fix our clothes, then followed the Doctor.
"You excited to be back on Earth?" I whispered to Donna while walking through the threshold then looked towards where Martha and the Doctor are talking.
"Yeah," she breathed distracted.
I turned to Donna reply back, when something, or rather someone, jumped and clung to me with their arms around my neck and their legs around my waist in a tight embrace. The force was so strong that I fell on my back onto the ground with an 'Oof!'
I groaned and opened my eyes. I sat up to look at the person properly, which in this case was a Dr. Martha Jones
"Well, hello to you to," I greeted with my brow raised to the now sheepish woman on my lap.
"It's you! It's really you!" she babbled as she hugged me again. "I thought you were dead!"
Before I can reply to her, Martha's radio crackled on.
"Dr. Jones, report to base, please," a woman said on the other side of the radio. "Dr. Jones? Dr. Jones, do you read? Copy?"
Martha didn't seem to hear the woman, I'm glad she now knows I'm alive. Although, what the hell is going on…
I cleared my throat pointedly.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" I asked her.
Martha pulled away slightly, as if trying to remember the world around her again.
"What?" she asked still slightly dazed.
"Are you going to answer your radio?" I clarified with a bemused smile.
A blush crept onto Martha's chocolate skin as she realized the compromising position and quickly got up to reply to the woman.
"This is Dr. Jones. Operations Blue Sky is go, go, go," she says to the radio then turned and walked away still speaking into the radio. "I repeat this is a go."
Donna leaned in towards me. "What the hell just happened?" she asked in bemusement.
"I know as much as you about what just happened," I replied confused and shaking my head. "Which is pretty much a large goose egg."
I sort of tuned out the organized chaos, the introductions between Donna and Martha, until we arrive at Colonel Mace's office for more introductions.
"Operation Blue Sky complete, sir," Martha reported to Mace. "Thanks for letting me take the lead. And this… this is the Doctor and the Guardian. Doctor and Guardian, Col. Mace."
My head snapped to Martha as she introduced us. What the hell is going on? I thought. How does she know me? I haven't even met her.
Mace salutes to both of us. "Sirs."
The Doctor groaned and tried waves it off. "Oh, don't salute."
"But it's an honour, sir. I've read all the files both of you," he gushed, not unlike a fanboy meeting their idol. Huh, so that's what it feels like. "Technically speaking, you two are still on staff. You haven't resigned."
I cleared my throat and all heads turn to me. I took step forward two feet away from Mace with an impassive smile. I hold out my hand for him to shake and he does it almost as if awestruck.
"Ah, Colonel Alan Mace head of the British division of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce," I said and thrust my hands back into my coat.
"Y-you know who I am, sir?" he asked with shock.
"Well, of course. I keep up with dealings within UNIT," I replied pleasantly then continued with an air of indifference. "I'm only saying this once, so don't bother asking again. When I specifically tell you to do or don't something, it's not because I'm trying to undermine your authority, I'm telling you because lives are at stake."
"What are you trying to say, sir?" shock now morphed into confusion.
"Basically, when I say: 'Jump.' You say: 'How high?'" I loomed over the man; I can feel my eyes burning with malice. The reflection from his eyes confirmed it. "Do I make myself perfectly clear, soldier?"
He visibly gulped, while beads of sweat trickled down his face. "Y-yes sir."
"As you were, Colonel," I ordered with fake pleasantry and a smile, I felt the burning fade. Then I walked away from the rest of the group towards an office with the ATMOS device, leaving before anyone can ask questions.
I sat down on the ground leaning against the shelf with back; my legs crossed and began to think. Slowly I began to drift to a trance-like memory, or at least some form of it.
The fires were walls and everything was burning. Faint screams can be heard in the room. I was in a bunker alone with my men. They all looked like war-torn veterans when in reality, they've barely gotten out into the real world. I can see it in their eyes, the loss of innocence. Gone were the days where they had educated themselves in the Academy. What were they now? They were just a remnant of something that they were never getting back.
I sighed and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"You men," I grunted and pointed to the ten soldiers who were in my command. No, they were children. Just children. "Run. Get the hell out of this place. Do whatever you can, just get out."
"But sir," one of them interjected, probably no older than forty. I think his name was Taranis. "We can't. It is our duty to Gallifrey, if not the universe, to rid of the Dalek scourge. That's mutiny and I'll have to report you to the High Council if you continue to act this way."
A few nodded in agreement, but the rest just waited on who will win.
I laughed hollowly. "Look around you boy!" I sneered with a wild gesture. "Do you think we're even going get out of this alive? The High Council of Gallifrey is in shambles!" I closed my eyes pained in remembrance. "I was there when they gave their final command," I sighed softly and opened my eyes with a pleading expression. "So please, just get as far away as possible."
After a few moments of silence, the gunfire and bombs the only things to fill it, a different boy spoke up, Conall I believe was his name.
"But what was it, sir?" another asked tentatively.
"The Ultimate Sanction," I sneered angrily. A collective gasp and horror marred their already stricken faces.
I smiled. It wasn't a very nice one, if their faces were any indication. "Oh, yes. This isn't just some rumor. I tried so hard to fight them, hell, I fought the Council itself against this but they were already too far-gone. So much so, they forced a regeneration out of me."
"But they can't!" he cried helplessly. "Lord Rassilon promised!" But before I could respond, more bombings and cries filled the air.
I guess they weren't leaving after all.
The memory began to faded into the background and faint whispers of my name along with gentle shaking. I opened my eyes only to be greeted with Donna crouched down in front of me; worry and fear etched on her face.
I tried to smile at her, but it came out more of a pained grimace.
"Are you okay?" her voice full of worry, always putting others above herself. I smiled a more genuine one back to her. I pull her in for a tight embrace in which she reciprocated whole-heartedly.
"No. But I will be," I whisper into her hair. A few seconds pass and I stand up abruptly bring Donna as well. The Doctor was looking at us with an unreadable look on his face as he watched intensely.
'Ah, the Jolly Green Monster. Where have you been all my life,' I thought snidely.
"Anyway…Colonel Mace, continue," I commanded lightly.
"Yes sir," Mace acknowledged and walked around the device with the others following. "And here it is laid bare. ATMOS can be threaded through any and every make of car."
"You must've checked before it went on sale?" the Doctor queried.
"We did," Martha agreed and had leaned against the table. "We found nothing. That's why I thought we needed an expert."
The Doctor had crossed over to the other side if the room to examine equipment.
"Really? Who'd you get?" he asked and turns around noticing we were all looking at him. The penny finally dropped. "Oh, right! Me! Yes! Good."
Martha rolled her eyes and prepared to leave with Mace. I walk deliberately in front of Martha.
"Martha, may I have a word with you?" I asked and she nodded expectantly, but didn't move. "Privately."
"Oh," she said with a light of understanding.
"Lead the way Dr. Jones," I replied with the gesture.
We found ourselves on the catwalk overlooking the factory floor. I leaned forward against the railing and looked straight ahead, which she mimicked.
"How do you know me?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.
"It was during The Year That Never Was," she said softly and quietly, while she turned her head towards my profile. "How do you not remember? You're even wearing the exact same clothes."
I sighed and rubbed my eyes wearily. I turned my body, leaning my hip against the railing, to face her.
"Well, this similar to what you encountered when you and the Doctor had met Sally the first time," I explained softly and waited for her to figure it out.
Her face contorted into confusion. "Huh?"
"Remember the transcript you two had to read off the autocue? It was already written though events had happened or will happen?" I further clarified.
After a few moments of intense concentration, her eyes widen in realization and then a dark blush crossed her features.
I raised a brow in question. "What's wrong?" I asked with a smirk.
"N-nothing," she lied with a shy smile.
I did small hip-check. "Come on. You can tell me," I goaded innocently.
She bumped back. "Seriously it's nothing," she assured me.
"Fine. Just know I'll always be here to listen," I smiled and led the way back to Donna and the Doctor.
The Doctor was staring down at the table, maybe glaring holes into it, his hands clenched into white knuckled fists. I sighed internally. Never leave the Doctor to think by himself.
"Doctor? Where's Donna?" I asked cautiously. He flinched slightly, while his body language changed instantly and turned around plastered with a fake smile.
"She's in an office for personnel," he answered fake cheerily. "Did you need something, Kai?"
"No, I just wanted talk to Donna. Thanks, Doctor," I responded warily and walked briskly towards Donna, noting a flash of something in the way the Doctor had held himself.
It looked like supressed anger. I narrowed my eyes in disdain as I walked away.
Idiot.
"Where the hell did you go off to?" was the kind greeting I received from Donna.
I smirked in amusement. "I missed you too," I answered cheekily. "Just went to talk to Martha."
"What about?" she asked looked about in her perusal of the office.
"About stuff," I replied vaguely and sat on the table with my arms crossed.
Donna rolled her eys in exasperation. "Oh right, stuff," she said sarcastically. "You want me to write that down?"
I sighed loudly but answered the questions.. "She's met me before, but I on the other hand haven't."
"What? How's that even possible?" she asked.
"Her past is my future. Meaning after this adventure, I have to immediately go back to that time, and then stop an insane Time Lord from ripping time and space apart by causing a paradox to happen by using the TARDIS as conduit to bring about a new Time Lord race which he intends to rule over; and then the year is not remembered because the paradox wouldn't have happened in the first place, well according to everyone else not on the Valiant, " I answered with a shrug.
"How did you get that out in one breath?" she asked in a shocked tone.
I looked at her in bemusement. "Respiratory bypass," I replied slowly.
"Oh," she responded weakly. "I think we should stop talking about it, my head is starting to hurt."
"Agreed."
After a few more minutes of perusing the office, she frowned at the empty folder in her hand. She looked at me with a glint. "So, find anything interesting, Mrs. Noble?" I asked grinning.
Donna grinned and laughed. "As a matter of fact, I did, Dr. Noble."
"Oi, you lot! All your storm troopers and your sonics—rubbish!" she announced as we came back into the room with the Doctor and Martha. "Shoulda come with me."
"Where have you been?" the Doctor interjects as Colonel Mace joins in.
"Personnel. That's where the weird stuff's happening in the paperwork," Donna answers, vibrating with enthusiasm. "'Cause I spent years working as a temp, I can find my way around an office blindfolded, and the first thing I noticed is an empty file."
"Why, what's inside it?" the Doctor asked curiously. "Or what's not inside it?"
"Sick days," Donna stated opening the file folder to it's empty. "There aren't any. Hundreds of people working here, and no one's sick. Not one hangover, man flu, sneaky little trip—"
"Like you?" I said hip checking her and she sticks out her tongue and grins. I laugh. The Doctor clears his throat.
"Nothing. Not ever," Donna continued with a smirk towards me. "They don't get ill."
"That can't be right," Mace mutters dumfounded reaching for the folder.
"I can see why the Guardian likes you," Martha laughed. Donna and I exchange a conspiratorial look with mischievous grins. While the Doctor had a small scowl that had briefly marred his face.
Donna hummed with pride.
Martha smiled at her. "You're good," she praised.
"Super Temp," Donna smirked.
"Seriously, we need capes!" I laughed and Donna along with me.
"Dr. Jones, set up a medical post," Colonel Mace interjected and ordered. "Start examining the workers. I'll get them sent through."
Martha started at the door. "Come on, Donna, give me a hand."
The Doctor and I ran after Mace out of the room and along an open corridor parallel to the work area.
"So," the Doctor began. "This, this ATMOS thing, where'd it come from?"
"Luke Rattigan himself," Mace answered.
"And himself would be?" I asked.
"A child genius," Mace replied pulling up a file on Luke. "Invented the Fountain 6 search engine when he was 12 years old. Millionaire overnight. Now runs the Rattigan Academy. A private school educating students handpicked from all over the world."
"A hot-house for geniuses—wouldn't mind going there," the Doctor said absentmindedly while Mace looks at him, puzzled. "I get lonely."
"What the hell am I? Chopped liver? I actually scored higher than you on a lot of things," I interjected. "And you know what you just said sounds creepy as hell."
"No it doesn't!" he cried immediately, then paused to think about it. "Does it?"
"Yes," Colonel Mace answered immediately.
I laughed. "See?"
"Meh," the Doctor huffed. "Anyway we need to get going."
I nodded. We walked out into the hallway, and out of the building.
The Doctor narrowed his eyes at the colonel. "You are not coming with us," the Doctor said as Mace followed us. "I want to talk to this Luke Rattigan, not point a gun at him."
"It's ten miles outside London," Mace retorted. "How are you going to get there?"
I rolled my eyes at the testosterone. "Then get us a damn jeep," I needled exasperatedly.
He looked at us sharply. "According to the records, you travel by TARDIS," Mace replied with a raised brow.
"Yeah, but if there is a danger of hostile aliens," I said slowly as if explaining to a child. "I think its best to keep the super-duper time travel machine away from the front lines. Don'tcha think Mr. Smarty-Pants?"
"I see. Then you do have weapons but choose to keep them hidden," Mace retorted as we stopped in the loading docks. That's what he got from that? Dumbass. "Jenkins?"
A man in his twenties came run in with black BDUs. "Sir!" Ross replied with a salute.
"You will accompany the Doctor and the Guardian, and take orders from them," Mace ordered Ross.
"I don't do orders," the Doctor reiterated.
"Any sign of trouble get Jenkins to declare Code Red," Mace continued. "And good luck, sirs."
He salutes both of us.
"I said no salutes," the Doctor reprimanded.
"Now you're giving orders," Mace muttered leaving.
"A bit cheeky, you are," the Doctor smirked.
I smirked. "I like him," I agreed.
Donna had finally met us again and came from behind. "Guardian, Doctor," she greeted softly.
"Oh, just in time. Come on! Come on!" the Doctor said grabbing my hand and her's towards the jeep. "Fresh air… geniuses, what more could you ask?"
"I'm not coming with you," Donna said, halting the Doctor and turned to her. "I've been thinking. I'm sorry…I'm going home."
His face crumpled just a bit. "Really?" the Doctor asked softly with a touch of sadness.
Donna nodded. "I've got to," she reaffirmed.
The Doctor sighed in sadness. "Well, if that's what you want. I mean it's a bit soon," the Doctor began. "I had so many place I wanted to take you. The 15th Broken Moon of the Medusa Cascade, the lightening skies of Cotter Palluni's World, the diamond coral reefs of Kaata Flo Ko…" I was barely keeping my laughter from bubbling out. The Doctor is so oblivious, it's kinda sad.
"Thank you, Donna Noble. It's been brilliant," he continued. "You—you've saved my life in so many ways." Donna nods slowly, looking like he's wearing two heads. I'm grinning like an idiot on the sidelines.
Donna just raised a brow when he continued "You're…You're—" the Doctor realization finally dawning on him, while I burst out laughing. "—you're just popping home for a visit. That's what you mean."
She smiled. "You dumbo," she shakes her head in fond amusement.
He grinned sheepishly. "And then you're coming back," the Doctor said embarrassed.
She laughed at his idiocy. "Do you know what you are? A great, big, outer-space dunce," she enunciated.
He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah," he breathed sheepishly.
"You seriously thought she was leaving after she practically searched for you for a year?" I laughed wiping a few tears away.
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," the Doctor huffed.
"Ready when you are, sirs," Ross announced.
"What's more, you can give a lift. Come on," Donna said while we piled into the jeep. The Doctor and I were on either side of Donna. "Broken moon of what?"
"I know. I know," the Doctor acknowledged in a huff.
"I think he means the Medusa Cascade," I grinned and she giggled.
"Oh, not you too," the Doctor groaned as Ross chuckled and drove us away.
After dropping Donna off, we set off for the Rattigan Academy.
"UNIT's been watching the Rattigan Academy for ages. It's all a bit Hitler Youth," Ross said driving, a bit unsettled. "Exercise at dawn and classes and special diets."
"Turn left," the ATMOS directed.
"Ross, one question," the Doctor began. "If UNIT thinks that ATMOS is dodgy—"
He huffed. "How come we've got it in the Jeeps?" Ross interjected knowingly.
"Yeah," the Doctor agreed.
He snorted. "Ha! Tell me about it," Ross his shook head. "They've fitted as standard on all government vehicles. We can't rid of them until we can prove there's something wrong."
"Turn right," the ATMOS directed.
"Drives me around the bend," Ross joked as he turned into the school's drive.
"Oh! Nice one," the Doctor praised.
"Time that perfectly," Ross enthused.
"Ha. Yeah. You did," the Doctor replied.
"I knew I liked you, Ross," I grinned at him as we exited the Jeep and began walking up the pavement.
"Thank you, sir," Ross nodded with a small smile.
"Don't call me 'sir'," I reprimanded lightly. "Just Guardian."
"Thank you, Guardian," he corrected with a hint of sarcasm.
I smirked in response.
"I see what you mean about the whole Hitler Youth thing, Ross, " I commented as students in red sweat suits run past us. "Creepy. As. Fuck."
"Language, Guardian," the Doctor scolded.
I shrugged. "This regeneration seems to be very fond of vulgarity. Sorry."
He just sighed. "Is it PE? I wouldn't mind a kick-around. Got me daps on," the Doctor enthused as he kicked at the dirt.
"I suppose you're the Doctor," Luke turned to face us away from the greenery. "And this must be the Guardian."
"Hello," the Doctor greeted, while I just gave a small nod.
"Your commanding officer phoned ahead," Luke informed us.
"Oh, we haven't got a commanding officer. Have you?" the Doctor retorted. After a few awkward seconds I decided to interject.
"Oh, this is Ross. Say hello Ross," I said happily.
"Afternoon, sir," Ross acknowledged the younger man.
"Let's have a look then!" the Doctor said rushing towards the main doors. "I can smell genius… in a good way."
"That still sounds pervy!" I called out to him while following at a more sedate pace.
"Oi!" the Doctor retorted from the top of the step.
"Am I right Ross?" I asked the man.
Ross just chuckled and said: "No comment, Guardian."
"Oh, now… that's clever! Look!" the Doctor exclaimed while I followed right behind.
"Single-molecule fabric. That shit is thin!" I exclaimed, beginning to flit around the room as well.
"Oh! Gravity simulators!" the Doctor enthused.
"Terraforming biospheres!" I said in awe.
"Nano-tech steel construction! This is brilliant!" the Doctor laughed. "But y'know with equipment like this, you could, oh, I dunno…move to another planet or something."
"If only that was possible," Luke said with mock disappointment.
"If only that were possible," I corrected. "Conditional clause."
He narrowed his eyes. "I think you'd better come with me," Luke sneered in suspicion as he stalked away.
We followed Luke to a large room, probably his office.
"You smarter than the usual UNIT grunts, I'll give you that," Luke said condescendingly.
I raised a brow in contempt. "Oi! He called you a grunt," I said sarcastically to Ross. "Don't call Ross a grunt, he's nice. We like Ross. Damn, look at this place…"
I began to wander the room along with the Doctor.
Luke huffed at our childishness. "What exactly do you want?" Luke called exasperatedly.
"I was just thinking, 'what a responsible 18 year old,'" the Doctor began. "Inventing zero-carbon cars, saving the world…"
"It takes a man with vision," Luke smirked in condescension.
"Mmhm, blinkered vision," I snorted and began walking back to the center of the room. "'Cause ATMOS means more people driving, more cars, more petrol, end result: the oil's gonna run out faster than ever. The ATMOS system could make things worse."
"Yeah, well, that's a tautology," Luke retorted like one would with a small child, quickly stepping within three feet. "You can't say ATMOS 'system' 'cause it stands for Atmospheric Emission System. So you're saying 'Atmospheric Emission System System.' Do you see, Mr. Conditional Clause?"
I looked at the man intensely, making him fidget a bit. "Long time since anyone's said no to you, hasn't it?" I remarked calmly.
He grit his teeth in annoyance. "I'm still right, though," Luke pressed with determined glint in his eyes.
I smiled without humor. "Not easy, is it, being clever?" I said taking a step forward in his personal space. "You look at the world and you connect things—random things—and think," I gestured grandly. "'Why can't anyone else see it? The rest of the world is so slow.'"
His lip curled in disdain. "Yeah," Luke sneered.
The Doctor rocked on the balls of his feet. "And you're on your own," the ma added.
The man looked pensive. "I know," he agreed quietly.
"But not with this," the Doctor said pulling out the ATMOS device and tossed it to Ross. "'Cause there's no way you invented this single-handed. It might be Earth technology, but that's like finding a mobile phone in the Middle Ages."
I then remembered something from ages ago. "I knew I forgot something," I scolded myself.
"What?" the Doctor turned to me.
I grinned sheepishly. "I left my phone on Henry VIII's throne," I shrugged.
He mock-glared "That was you?" he accused.
I raised a brow. "What? Why?" I asked confused.
He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "The British National Archive found it and didn't know what it was," the Doctor laughed.
I smirked. "Oh! Now I get why you point and laugh at archeologists!" I laughed along with him.
Luke cleared his throat pointedly. "Is there a point to this?" he gritted out.
I glanced at the Doctor briefly. 'Someone needs a chill pill,' I told the Doctor.
'Tell me about it,' he griped. "Yes, I'll tell you what it's like! It's like finding this—" he said crossing to the teleport. "—in someone's front room. Albeit, a very big front room."
'Don't be too long honeybun,' I said and gave him an equivalent of a mental smirk. 'And do be careful. Don't want to be the Last of Time Lords.'
He smirked. 'Yes, sweetie-cakes,' he retorted playfully. 'Not planning on it.'
The UNIT soldier looked at us both in confusion. "Why? What is it?" Ross asked with curiosity.
The Doctor began to wander closer towards the teleport. "Yeah, just looks like a thing, doesn't it?" he asked rhetorically. "People don't question things. They just think: 'Oh, it's a thing.'"
Luke's eyes widened in fear and anger. "Leave it alone," Luke pleaded.
"I make these connections," the Doctor said walking inside it pressing a few buttons. "And this to me looks like—a teleport pod."
And with that he disappeared to the Sontaran ship.
"Where'd he go?" Ross asked alarmed.
"He'll be fine," I shrugged. "Just popped into the heart of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet."
His eyes widened. "What? Will he be okay?"
"I think so. I mean he should be back in a few," I responded casually.
"Oh. Okay," Ross said not really knowing what else to say.
"So…" I trailed awkwardly. "Seen any good movies lately?"
"Untraceable was pretty good," Ross remarked after a few awkward seconds.
"Is that the one with Diane Lane?" I tried to recollect.
Ross nodded. "Yeah."
"Oooh! I liked that one, really good thriller!" I enthused. "Although, I was kind of disappointed when—"
Suddenly the Doctor reappeared from the teleport gate with a running start.
"Ross, get out!" he shouted. "Guardian, defensive formation alpha—"
I huffed irritably."You know that never works!" I grumbled. "Stupid time lord and his stupid plans…"
"—And Luke, you'd better come with me," the Doctor said sonicking the controls of the teleport as General Staal appears, ignoring my protests.
"Sontaran! That's your name isn't? General Staal of the Tenth Battle Fleet to be more precise. How did I know that, eh?" I stalled, as the Doctor put his sonic screwdriver away. "Fascinating, isn't it? Isn't that worth keeping me alive?"
Private Jenkins unholstered his weapon. "I order you to surrender in the name of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce," Ross called out aiming a gun at the Sontaran.
The Doctor sighed. "That's not going to work," he warned to Ross. He then turned to Staal. "Cordalaine signal, am I right?"
"Copper excitation, it's stopping the bullets," I added for Ross' benefit.
"How do you two know so much?" Staal asked in suspicion.
"Well…" the Doctor began while walking around the room.
"We're just that awesome," I finished with a smirk and went over to Luke's desk to sit on the chair with my feet propped up on said desk.
"Who are they?" Staal hissed to Luke.
"They didn't give me their names," Luke snapped.
"This isn't typical Sontaran behavior, is it?" the Doctor goaded. "Hiding? Using teenagers? Stopping bullets? A Sontaran should face with dignity!"
"Shame on you! Bad baked potato!" I added with a laugh.
The Doctor just shook his head with a smirk.
"You dishonor me!" Staal cried in anger.
"Then show yourself, soldier!" I barked.
"I will look into my enemy's eyes," Staal announced removing his helmet.
Ross' eyes widened in surprise. "Oh my God!" Ross breathed in shock.
"And your name?" the Doctor asked.
"I just answered that," I muttered to the Doctor.
"General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet, the human was correct," Staal answered with condescension. "Staal the Undefeated."
I so badly wanted to correct the baked potato, but decided to use the information later.
"That's not a very good nickname," the Doctor scoffed. "What if you get defeated? 'Staal-The-Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Never-Mind'?"
Ross snickered. "Looks like a potato, a baked potato," he said in shock. "A talking baked potato."
"Now, Ross. Don't be rude," the Doctor admonished. "You look like a pink weasel to him."
"The Sontarans are the finest soldiers in the galaxy," I stated while picking up a tennis racket and bouncing a ball on it. "Dedicated to a life of warfare. A clone race grown in batches of millions with only one weakness—"
"Sontarans have no weakness!" Staal retorted arrogantly.
I shrugged and bounced the tennis ball some more. "No, it's a good weakness," I smirked.
"Aren't you meant to be clever?" Luke asked incredulously. "Only an idiot would provoke him."
"A.) I'm light-years smarter than Mr. Potato over there and B.) I'm being a smartass. Do your research," I retorted with a smirk. "Anyway… the Sontarans are fed by a probic vent in the back of the neck. That's their weak spot, which means they always have to face their enemy in battle. Isn't that fantastic? They can't ever turn their backs!"
"We stare into the face of death!" Staal countered immediately.
"Yeah? Well, stare at this," I replied hitting the ball to bounce off the teleport pod, slamming into Staal's probic vent.
"Out! Out! Out!" the Doctor exclaimed as he ushered Ross and I out of the room. Heading for the jeep to get back to the base.
"Greyhound 40 to Trap 1," the Doctor tried into the radio. "Repeat: can you hear me? Over."
"Why is it not working?" Ross asked worriedly.
I groaned. "'Coz the Sontarans are being bastards and are going to try to kill us," I sighed.
"What?" Ross cried.
The Doctor noticed something on the ATMOS. "Try going left," the Doctor commanded suddenly.
I rolled my eyes. "It's not going to work," I sing-songed.
"Yeah, well… Just try it," the Doctor commanded again.
"You know you're really hot when you get all commanding," I grinned and Ross just ignored my comment to focus on the directions he was given.
"It says left," Ross continued.
"Wha—what? I mean, Ross. Go right anyway," the Doctor sputtered turning towards me. "What do you mean? Donna would not appreciate you saying that!"
I smirked. "Oh, she thinks you're hot, too," I shrugged with nonchalance but looking forward.
The Doctor just sat there like a gaping fish trying to get words out but nothing was happening. So, I took over.
"I've got no control! It's driving itself. It won't stop," Ross cried as he removed his hands from the wheel. He tried to open the door, but nothing. "The doors are locked!"
"ATMOS, are you programmed to contradict my orders?" I asked taking a shortcut instead of the long-winded explanation.
"What are you—" the Doctor tried to ask as he finally got over his shock.
"Hush!" I scolded and turned back to the device.
"Confirmed," the ATMOS agreed.
"Then drive into the river!" I shouted while the Doctor and Ross just stared in either shock or fear. Maybe both. "I order you to drive into the river! Do it! Drive into the river!"
The Jeep screeched to a halt just a few feet away from the riverbanks. The Doctor and Ross jump out and ran while I just casually followed them. The ATMOS device began to short-circuit.
"Get down!" the Doctor shouted as he and Ross both dove to the ground. I just stood there looking at them like they were a bunch of idiots they were, waiting for the explosion that never came. The panel only sparked and smoke came wafting out of the jeep.
The Doctor peeked out of his ball. "Oh, is that it?' he asked disappointedly and stood up along with Ross.
I huffed. "What exactly were you expecting? A full-on fireball explosion?" I snorted, shaking my head.
"Weeellll…" the Doctor shrugged then dusted himself off. "Maybe a little."
"Only you Doctor," I grinned and turned to Ross. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Ross nodded. "What happened? And how are we getting back?"
"The sat-nav was wired to the whole car and therefore controlled everything," I explained as we began to walk back to Chiswick. "The ATMOS device was programmed to contradict the owner's commands."
"How did you know it was going to stop and short itself out?" Ross asked.
"I didn't," I replied. Ross' head snapped to mine.
"What?" he cried.
I sighed. "Well, I sort of did. But didn't at the same time," I tried but was met with an even more confused Ross. "Would it help that I just came from another dimension, though I'm originally from this one, where this universe is a T.V. show where it follows the Doctor and his adventures and as it happens this was one of them?"
"Huh?" Ross tilted his head in confusion.
"Just pretend I'm psychic Ross," I sighed. "It's much easier to understand."
"Okay," he nodded.
"So…episode?" the Doctor asked in understanding.
"Yup," I said popping the 'p.'
We finally arrived at the Nobles' home. I rang the doorbell like a child on sugar.
"Oi! Don't get your knickers in a twist!" I heard shouted from the inside. And Donna opened the door with an agitated scowl marring her face briefly before she just rolled her eyes and shook her head at us.
"You would not believe the day I'm having," the Doctor smirked.
The Doctor began to examine the ATMOS device connected to the car while Donna is on her mobile trying to reach Martha, well clone Martha, who would probably smell like ass.
"I'll requisition us a vehicle," Ross announced after watching the Doctor tinker.
"Anything without ATMOS," I said leaning my back on the Nobles' car.
"And don't point your gun at people," the Doctor added and looked at him pointedly as he ran off.
"Is it them? Is it them? Is it the Doctor and the Guardian?" Wilf called running out of the house. He recognized the Doctor. "Ah, it's you!"
"Who?" the Doctor asked turning to Wilf. Recognition dawns on him. "Oh…it's you!"
"Have you met my grandfather, too?" Donna demanded looking at me.
"What?" I cried. "No! Well—not really. Technically, yes—but no."
"Well, which is it?" Donna huffed.
"No. About to meet him now," I smiled placatingly.
"And you!" she pointed to her grandfather. "What? Have you met before?"
"Yeah, Christmas Eve," Wilf recounted. "They disappeared right in from of me."
Donna glared at her grandfather. "And you never said!" she accused.
"Well, you never said," he countered and turned to both of us. "I'm—"
"Wilfred Mott," I finished smiled warmly.
"Are you one of them psychic aliens?" Wilf asked in awe.
"I don't know about the psychic part but we both are aliens," I gestured to the Doctor and I. I put my hand out for him and shook his hand, smiling. "Though it depends on your perspective on who the aliens are at this point. But please don't shout it out."
"Nice to meet you properly, Wilf," the Doctor said with a warm smile shaking Wilf's hand.
"Ah, alien hands," Wilf commented bewildered.
"Donna, anything?" the Doctor asked.
"She's not answering," Donna sighed. "What's it: 'Sontiruns'?"
"Sontarans," I corrected along with the Doctor, though only he continued. "But there's got to be more to it. They can't be just remote-controlling cars. That's not enough."
"Is anyone answering?" I asked agitated.
"Hold on," Donna tried to assuage. I heard Martha answer.
"Martha, hold on, he's here," Donna said handing the phone to the Doctor.
"Martha—" the Doctor began.
'That's not her,' I interjected. He stopped, brow knitted.
'What? What do you mean?' the Doctor asked.
'It's the wrong pitch. And well…episode,' I replied.
'So what do you want to do then?' he asked.
'Keep up the charade. Don't want them to know 'til last possible minute. We can use the clone to our advantage,' I advised. 'Though it's totally up to you.'
'Yeah, I think that would be best,' the Doctor agreed.
"Doctor? Are you still there?" clone Martha asked breaking the world we were in.
"Ah, yes! Sorry about that," he apologized. "Anyway, tell Colonel Mace it's the Sontarans. They're in the file, Code Red Sontarans. But if they're inside the factory, tell him not to start shooting, UNIT will get massacred. We'll get back as soon as we can. You got that?"
"Code Red Sontarans. Gotcha," the clone agreed closing the mobile.
The Doctor was now under the hood trying to get a better reading with the sonic on the ATMOS device while Donna and Wilf looked on.
"You've tried sonicking it before," Donna argued. "You didn't find anything."
"Yeah, but no I know it's Sontaran," he countered. "I know what I'm looking for."
"The thing is, Doctor and Guardian, that Donna is my only grandchild," Wilf began. "You two gotta promise me you're gonna take care of her."
"Of course Wilf," I promised whole-heartedly. "Although, she does take care of us."
"Oh, yeah! That's my Donna," Wilf praised. "She was always bossing us around even when she was tiny. 'The Little General' we used to call her."
"Yeah. Don't start," Donna scolded lightly while the Doctor concentrated on a specific part with the holes in a grid pattern.
"And some of the boys she used to turn up with—a different one every week," Wilf recounted.
"You had other men before me?" I asked in mock hurt, but one look in her eyes broke my serious façade and I started to laugh. "Yeah, sorry. Who am I kidding? Those men were never good in enough for you."
"You silly sod!" she laughed. "And you are?"
I smiled. "Never said that," I corrected. "But you make me want to be, for you."
"Wait! You're with Donna?" Wilf asked in shock.
Shit. This can blow up in face so badly. I looked at Donna for reassurance but only a half-hearted smile back. I was cursing up a storm mentally.
"Umm…well, Wilf," I started lamely. "It's up to her…if she wants me."
Whatever Donna was about to say was interrupted by the Doctor and the ATMOS. Thank Omega!
"Whoa! It's a temporal pocket!" the Doctor cried with excitement. "I knew there was something else in there. It's hidden just a second out of sync with real time."
"You say the sexiest things, Doctor," I muttered shuffling closer to Donna. She smirked in amusement, but one look at me made her look like she was about to peal with laughter.
"But what's it hiding?" Donna asked trying to suppress her inner turmoil, badly.
"I dunno, men and their cars! Sometimes I think if I was a car…" Sylvia trailed seeing the Doctor, her face turned sour. "Oh, it's you! Doctor—what was it?"
"Doctor John McCrimmon," I answered politely.
"Yeah, that's me," the Doctor said not really paying attention.
"And who the hell are you?" Sylvia accosted me.
"I'm—uh—Doctor James McCrimmon, his brother," I responded with a charming smile…I hope. I put out my hand and was shaking hers. "And you are—?"
"Sylvia Noble," she replied breathily, still holding my hand and not letting go. I wasn't really going for this effect, but I'd rather not be on her bad side.
"Can I have my hand back, Mrs. Noble?" I asked with a smirk. "I have to—um help my—brother."
"Oh! Of course!" she exclaimed. "And call me, Sylvia."
"Right…" I trailed and stood next to the Doctor, pretending to be working.
"Have you met him as well?" Wilf asked moving on to a different subject.
"Dad, that's the man from the wedding! When you were laid up with Spanish flu," Sylvia cried. "I'm warning you, last time that man turned up, it was a disaster!'
Suddenly gas shoots out from the device.
"Get back!" the Doctor shouted pushing us back.
"Doctor, do something!" I shouted.
"That'll stop it," the Doctor announced as he sonicked the ATMOS causing it to spark and the gas stopped.
"I told you! He's blown up the car!" she exclaimed. "Who is he anyway? What sort of doctor blows up cars?"
"Oh, not now, Mum!" Donna chided.
"Oh, should I make an appointment?" Sylvia grumbled stalking off.
"That wasn't just exhaust fumes. Some sort of gas," the Doctor stated.
"Artificial gas," I added.
"And it's aliens, is it?" Wilf asked in excitement. "Aliens?"
"But if it's poisonous…" Donna trailed.
"Then they've got every car on Earth with poisonous gas," I finished grimly. I slightly moved closer to Wilf knowing he'd try to move the car and get trapped in the process.
"It's not safe—" Wilf started but I grabbed him by the collar and got him out before the door slammed closed and the doors deadlocked. But the momentum launched us back, me being Wilf's buffer to the ground.
I groaned. "We really need to stop meeting like this asphalt," I mumbled to myself.
Wilf got up and put out a hand to pull me up. I took it and cracked my back as I got up. The Doctor is frantically trying to turn off the car.
"Sorry for landin' on you," Wilf apologized.
I laughed. "'S alright, not the worse landings I've had," I replied.
"How you know that was going to happen? Is it them alien powers again?" he asked quickly.
"I just knew. And no, more like instinct," I lied, slightly.
"What's he doing? What's he done?" Sylvia shouted by the front door as she saw the car billowing with smoke.
"I've isolated it!" the Doctor cried.
'It's the whole world,' I said to the Doctor. He looked around before his eyes looked at me sharply, panic seeping into his gaze.
'I don't know what to do,' he responded desperately.
When it rains, it floods.
Shit.
Thanks for reading, lurking, or whatever you guys do.
Reviews are like the 10th Doctor showing up on your doorstep telling you that he's there to fix your plumbing when everything is working condition. Or a different scenario that makes fangirls squeal and explode.
~HuonParticlesAreHarmless