Chapter 3
Madames and Crows
No one had ever reached me with just words, except for Jax. Being with him tonight meant more to me then any sexual encounter ever could. It was love we shared between us.
Love only grew by sharing it. You could only have more for yourself by giving it away to others. Along with; respect, caring about them, make sacrifices and give them everything you got. To truly love a person was to see all their magic. To remind of them of it when they had forgotten. Tonight, I fully intended to remind my man.
After we played around we got out of the water. I went to get dressed and Jax stopped me. Our naked wet bodies were glistening in the moon light and clinging to each other. When I felt his hands touch me made me melt just like it always does.
Going to my knees in front of his beautiful body. His eyes were telling me he wanted it and his hand went to the back of my head. My mouth always decided how much of him I took in.
With Jax you can always tell when he was getting close. He would start thrusting in my mouth and as fast as he was doing it. I had to stop before he came because I wanted to feel him. I needed that connection between us.
We kissed and caressed each other. He suddenly stopped and was walking towards his bike. "Lets ride."
"It will be trouble if we ride nude. It is indecent exposure and we could go to jail for it."
"It will be hot and jail isn't anything new to either one of us now is it, Rocky. Come on, babe. You know you want to. Besides you can wear my shirt if it makes you feel better. What else would be hotter than me riding shirtless with just my leather on."
Jax had always had the ability to convince me to be adventurous. Even if I really didn't want to. Most of the time he could persuade me to do about anything.
"Okay. Let me get my clothes."
Throwing on just his t-shirt. I was putting my clothes and shoes in his saddle bags.
"Not the shoes. Wear those."
Standing before him in nothing but high heels and his t-shirt. The look on his face was one I hadn't seen in so long. He was looking at me like he had when we were young and he couldn't wait to be alone with me. Back in the day when he couldn't get enough of me and always wanted more.
"That's a good look for you cutie. Wanna take a ride with me we both will enjoy?"
The ride started off awkward for me. When I straddled his bike seat I was already wet. With every bump we hit on the country road my pussy would slide back and forth against the leather.
Chilled from the warm evening air as we flew down the road. My body and hair was getting wind-blown dry. The speed of the bike made the hairs on my body stand on end and goose bumps covered my exposed skin. At least my hands were warm tucked up against his body inside of his leather.
Since Jax was my husband you would think I would be used to the feel of his body or would tire from it. But I never had. As much as he was gone I forget just how good this man feels as I was rubbing my hands along his muscled sides and chest. I snuggled my body closer to his not for the warmth but, to just feel him.
Spreading my legs wider to be as close to him as I slid my body up against his back. His hand went down to my leg and lifted it up to be around his waist. But his hand didn't stay there. He was rubbing the inside of my thigh and then found the spot that made me moan when I felt his fingers sliding in and out of me.
As good as it felt I went to push his hand away. He needed both of his hands to control the bike and not to crash us.
"Don't, Tara. I have concentration of steel when I ride."
Jax was getting me so close to cumming when he stopped on his own. He lowered my leg down and took my hand from his leather. He gave me a kiss on the top of my hand when the bike came to a halt at the stop sign.
The deep continuous roar and throbbing vibration of the engine beneath me was giving me extreme pleasure. Pressing myself down harder against the seat to feel the vibration better. When I let out a deep moan. Jax throttled up the bikes speed so the vibration increased. Wiggling against the seat only seemed to increase the internal fast throb that was coursing through my body.
"Enjoy the ride babe. We could do this all the time if you wanna."
Enjoying it I was until Jax slowed down and pulled off the highway. He stopped the bike. "Get off and get on me."
This was the part that made me really nervous. He wanted me to straddle him on the bike. He unzipped his pants and pulled them down just enough to release his already hard cock. I climbed on and wrapped my arms around his neck. Grasping on to his leather for my life. When we started moving I grasped on to him even harder so I wouldn't fall off.
"Relax, babe. I've got you and you're not going anywhere."
The movements inside me were slow and gentle at first. He had one hand on the bike grip and the other on my ass. He was moving my hips with his hand. Once I was relaxed and comfortable I started moving them against him on my own. I think this was when Jax started enjoying the ride.
We did this for a few miles until he stopped again and he pulled his t-shirt off over my head. He hand me sit on the seat, then bent me over. I was holding on the grips now as he pounded his cock into me from behind. He didn't slow down or stop until he came. This wasn't the gentlest Jax had ever been with me but, I must admit it was the best ride I had ever had with him.
"Are you cold, babe?"
"A little."
Jax took his sweatshirt out of his saddle bag and handed it to me. He gave me a slow sweet kiss on the lips and then one on my forehead.
"This was fun. I guess you have done this before."
"Nope. This was my first time on a bike too."
Even though I wanted to believe it and him. I wasn't sure if it was or not. The way he controlled himself and the bike while we made love; I wanted to say he had done it before. But in my heart, it was his first time and it was with me.
The ride home was full of laughter and love between us. This was the Jackson Teller I knew all those years ago. It wasn't the same man who set at the head of the table and was capable of doing horrible things. It was a sweet man who could love with the heart of a lion and one you would never worry about betraying you.
Pulling up in the driveway. Jax held my hand as we walked across the yard together. We were still giggling when we went through the door.
The house was quiet and Gemma was asleep on the day bed in the boy's room. Jax went to wake her up and I stopped him. So he grabbed a blanket and covered her up with it. I know Jax wanted nothing to do with her. But as long as she wasn't doing anything to hurt my family, she and I would get along just fine.
We went in our room and got ready for bed. Laying in his arms was something I craved these days. It was ashamed I don't get it anymore than I did. But I knew once he took over the gavel, our lives would be this way even though he said it wouldn't be.
It didn't take me long to drift off in a happy restful sleep. Because it wasn't until the alarm went off, I moved from Jax's big muscular body. I hit the off button on the alarm and cursed the day was starting.
My eyes gave Jax a long glance while he laid in our bed sleeping like a normal man would. I knew once I woke him, he would be all SAMCRO and it would start over again.
Gemma was gone when I went into the boy's room. Thomas was already awake playing in his bed and I changed his diaper then dressed him. Abel I had to shake a few time before he would get up. I went into the kitchen with Thomas in my arms and started the coffee.
Watching my boys this morning reminded me of all that was good and right in the world. But when it was time to wake up Jax, it was reality of the bad things that were to come for us.`
We rushed out the door together. Jax gave me and the boys a kiss. Then rode off to do whatever in the hell he does all day. I had them strapped in and pulled out of the driveway.
There were birds circling in the road. It was a group of crows. I noticed how they all flocked together but one. It was still sitting there. It wasn't budging even though I was coming. It stood alone and didn't seem afraid. I had to swerve to not hit the damn thing.
"What's wrong, Mommy?"
"It's okay, baby. It was just a bird."
When I looked in the rear view mirror, it was still there. It was either one determined bird to get what it wanted. Or a stupid one that was going to get itself killed.
What caught my eye when we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital was one single crow was perched on my reserved parking sign. Like it was waiting for me to get there. It looked exactly the same as the one in the road with a small patch of white on its face. Yet, I knew it was impossible it couldn't be the same one.
Only a convertible pulled into my spot in front of me. A girl got out of the car. So I rolled my window down. "Excuse me. I am Doctor Knowles and it is my parking space. My name is on it."
"So. Park somewhere else."
"The hospital will have your car towed if you don't move it." I gave her a warning, nicely as I possibly could.
"I am only going to be five minutes. You can wait old woman. I can't help it if I am younger and quicker than you are. Fuck off."
This little bitch went past annoying me. She pissed me off. It was clear to anyone who could read, it was dedicated parking for me. I tried to be nice and it didn't work. I even used reasoning with her and it didn't work. So I was going to handle the situation with as much grace as she would allow.
Parking in the spot next to her car, I got out. The crow never moved. It cocked its head and looked straight at me.
"This is the last time I am going to say this. Move your fucking car now."
"You are making me late. Didn't you hear what I said. I will be out in a minute and then you can have your precious parking spot."
This was no longer about a parking spot. It was about having respect for others. I grabbed the girl by the arm and she took a swing at me. It was a bad move for her. So, I swung back. Only I connected the hit with her. Then I grabbed her by the throat.
"Do you know who I am? Jax Teller from the Sons is my husband. If you say anything to anyone about this. I will hunt you down and handle it SAMCRO's way. Now move your fucking car."
The girl couldn't wait to get out my parking spot now. It was all she had to do in the first place. When I got the boys out the bird flew away. I noticed it circled above us until we got into the hospital.
Once I dropped the boys off at daycare I started my day. Only I couldn't shake the damn bird. Was it a oman or something. I knew nothing about crows, so I looked it up.
... One of the great animal phenomena of the world is the congregation of large numbers of birds into a single group to sleep together. The birds get some protection from predators by being in a large group.
"Damn that sounds like the crow eaters. They sleep with anybody and they don't care how many of them there are either."
... Six Terrifying Ways Crows Are Way Smarter Than You Think...
1. Adaptive Behavior
2. Planning
3. Tools and Problem Solving
4. Memory
5. They conspire With One Another
6. They Can Remember Your Face
.
(***) Source /by David Dietie
It kept me fascinated with reading about them until a knock came on my office door.
"Hi. What a pleasant surprise. Come in."
" I hope we are not disturbing you Dr. Knowles. Jimmy had to get x-rays done on this floor and he wanted to stop and see you."
"I am glad you did. How are feeling today?"
"I'm okay."
Jimmy's case broke my heart. He was only eight years old and had been in the hospital most of his life. He battles against the odds to live another day. As fast as we could get the cancer to go into remission, it comes back again.
"I was going to stop by to give this to you later. But since you're here, I will give it to you now."
He was a huge NASCAR fan and I found a book on the history of racing. I couldn't help myself but to buy it for him. I tried to make sure once a week to purchase some little token to brighten his day.
"Thank you, Doctor Knowles."
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
"Well, I better get him back to his room."
I held the door so his mother could wheel him out. I watched her rummaging around in her purse for change to buy something out of the vending machine. Jimmy's medical bills had put a strain financially on the family. I pulled out the cash I had in my lab coat. I stuck a ten dollar bill in the machine and got a package of gum.
"I don't want the change. It will be in quarters and I would be jiggling in the hallways all day. Why don't you get something."
"Oh no, Doctor Knowles. I couldn't take it. You have already done so much for my son."
"Well okay. But if you don't the next person who comes along will."
When I rounded the corner I heard the machine dropping something from it. I think most of the time Jimmy's mom doesn't have the money to eat on. It went to the person who needed it the most as far as I was concerned.
After I made my rounds my cell went off. It was the daycare and Abel had gotten into trouble. They wanted to know if I had time to come by.
Abel was sitting in the time out chair for hitting another little boy who took a toy away from him. So, I sat down in the tiny chair next to him. We would need to have a long conversation about it.
"What happened Abel? You know we don't resolve issues by hitting."
"You did, Mommy."
Talk about getting a big shock to my system. What he saw me do this morning was how he handled the little boy who took his toy. I always thought they would learn violence from Jax and not me.
"What I did was wrong Abel. I never should have ever behaved that way. Just like you should have never hit Jason with the toy car. You need to apologize to him and don't do it again."
"Are you going to apologize, Mommy?"
"Um...yes I will as soon as I see her."
"Then I will too."
He took off to find Jason. Abel told him he was sorry and they went to play together. If adult life was as simple. But it wasn't. I was so ashamed of myself for loosing my cool in front of my children. I've been ashamed for my behavior a lot lately.
"Abel is such a good boy. We never have any trouble with him. He must be having a bad day."
"Yes it must be why."
There was no way in hell I would admit to them it was because he witnessed my poor judgement. Even though I had to admit it to myself. "If you need me, call me. I'm going to lunch."
With my sandwich, juice box and lap top gathered in my arms. I went outside to get some fresh air. It wasn't long after I sat down I saw a crow, one single crow pecking at the ground near the tables. Now I thought I was going crazy. It looked like the one from this morning.
"Maybe I'll have lunch inside instead."
My hand went over my eyes so I could watch it circling in the sky above me. According to what I read this morning, they like to be with other crows. So it made no sense as to why this bird would be all alone.
After I found an empty table I kept reading about these strange creatures. It wasn't getting me the answers I had hoped for.
"May I sit down?"
"Please Margret sit down and join me."
"I want to talk to you about the Spalding boy." She said it with concern in her voice. It immediately put me on guard.
"Did something happen? He seemed fine when I visited with them this morning."
"That's what I want to talk you about. You are getting to close to the situation, Tara. You're no longer Jimmy's doctor. I know you want to heal everyone. But sometimes, we just can't. The maximum has been met on their insurance, he will be getting released soon from St. Thomas."
"You can't do that. Without more operations, he doesn't have a chance of making it." My sons were the faces I seen while those thoughts cluttered my mind. What would I do if I was put in this same type situation?
"I spoke with Jimmy's mother. I gave her a list of places she can go to get government assistance. Unfortunately we don't accept that kind of payment and he will moved to another hospital." With Margret everything was cut and dry. The hospital rules dictated her actions. However, I had a problem with it.
"Those places won't give him the care he needs and you know it. Most of the time they are understaffed and there isn't enough funding to go around. What if I volunteered my services for free?"
"You are an employee of this hospital and you can't perform an operation with your hand the way it is. You will follow the policy in place. In our profession we have to face and accept death of patients. It is just part of the job."
Margret kept talking and I didn't care what else she had to say. There had to be a way to help the family get Jimmy what he needed.
"I have to go. My next appointment is in ten minutes." It was a lie. My schedule was clear for the rest of the day. But now, I had an agenda all of my own going on.
My children were the center of my universe. If I was in the position Jimmy's mom was in, I would dance with the devil himself to allow my child to live. It was what I was going to do as well. Dance with Sons and hope they could help in some way.
As I drove to the clubhouse I kept thinking about how we could raise the money for Jimmy. I knew they do fund runs all the time for the children. Of course most of the time it was a cover to deliver of illegal drugs or guns. But hey, beggars couldn't always be choosers.
Gemma was outside smoking when I pulled into the parking lot. All the bikes were gone. "Jax won't be back for a couple of hours."
"I came to talk to you actually. I have a problem."
"What?"
After I explained the situation to Gemma, she wanted to help out. "How much money do you need to raise?"
"About eighty thousand dollars. It will only cover the next operation and his hospital stay. After that, I don't know what will happen. This next operation is so important for his chance at survival."
"Eighty thousand dollars. Hell I don't know if we can raise that much money, Tara. We'll do what we can. You should talk to Jax when he gets back. If I bring it up, you know he will say no to it."
We went into the clubhouse a couple of the prospects were there along with Bobby. He had a few ideas of how to raise some money. None of them would be how I would personally choose to do it though. I had to set my feelings aside and do what was right to help Jimmy. Even though it was going to be dirty money if we did it their way. It was always dirty when the SOA got involved.
It wasn't long until they all came walking in except for Jax. "Where is Jackson?" Gemma took the lead just like she always does.
"He is looking into a new club venture with Nero."
"What?"
"You should ask him Gemma."
"Yeah like it would do me any good to ask. He keeps me on the outside of everything. I'll ask Nero, he'll tell me." Gemma wasn't the only one being kept on the outside pf their circle of trust. I wasn't sure if I was ever let in or not. Several times I called Jax's cell and he didn't answer.
She called Nero's cell and of course he answered her on the first ring. I've never been envious or jealous of Gemma in any way. Most of the time I made sure I don't end up being anything like her. In this case though, I was envious.
Envious of how her men always put her and her feelings first. Even when Clay was around, he babied her when she was upset about something. Most of the time Jax doesn't even notice that I was upset or he just ignores it and goes on. Gemma can be a conniving bitch there was no doubt about it. But she always knew how to handle her man. I was falling short in that area.
"Nero is on his way back."
"Where is Jax?"
"He will be back soon. Well, I still have work to do." If Gemma thought she could just blow me off and it would shut me up, she was wrong. Because I followed her to the office and shut the door.
"Don't bullshit me, Gemma. Where is Jax at?"
"If I tell you. You have to promise me you won't over react or tell Jax I was the one who told you."
"I promise. Just tell me already."
Gemma was never much for tact or suspense. This time however, she chose her words carefully. "He went with Colette to see her business."
"Who the hell is Colette?"
"A madame looking to go legit and she might be doing a joint venture with the Lodge."
Now, I sat down in the chair while I tried to catch my breath. I didn't even know if Jax was doing anything wrong or not and at this point it didn't matter. In my head he already had. If he was with her and nothing was going on why didn't he answer my calls? Or was it because he was so busy or entertained he wouldn't? Perhaps, he wanted to make certain I never knew.
"Tara, you promised me."
There had been so many times, I wished I could get my head and my heart to tell me the same thing about Jax. But they never had. My heart always spoke of love and commitment. My head goes the other way, betrayal and he would never be just mine.
This was where the old Tara would have sat down and cried or kept it all in. Suffered in silence and all alone. The new Tara chose to handle it a lot differently.
"I will keep my promise, Gemma. Jax will never know you told me. I need you to help me with something."
"Help you with what?"
If I was ever going to step up and be the queen to my man in the SOA. I had to figure out how to handle Jax. Draw a line for him to walk and make certain he doesn't ever stray from it. So I told Gemma exactly what I wanted her to do. If she ever thought about betraying me on this, I would fuck her world up.
"You want me to do what?"
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~
The boys were put to bed alone, just like I always done. I waited for Jax to come home. The later it got to be the more pissed off I became. There was only one way for me to get it out of my system.
At the kitchen table. While I schemed on just how to handle my husband and how to stabilize the life we shared. I took out my laptop from work and set up a file just for me; Circling the Crow.
Taking care of my family is always first and foremost for me. As I grew up I never knew what having a real family meant or even felt like. I guess it's part of the reason I have endured what I have to keep mine together.
When I looked in the mirror; the woman who stares back at me changes daily. On the days I see her resembling the frightened girl who wants to run away, I firmly plant my feet on the ground and stay. When I look into their little smiling faces, I always know I made the right decision for my children. I have to believe I can coexist and be true about what Jax really is without losing myself in the mix of the chaos.
It frightens me most of the time when I have to defend and try to protect the man I love. With every ounce of my patients and understanding I still can't truly come to grips with the outlaw life he leads. There are so many things he does I don't condone either. But I will never apologize for defending him or trying to cover up what he does. Because at the end of the day, he is still my husband.
I have been told many times; if you love the man you will learn to love the club. If the man truly loves you, what does he have to do to be with you?
"Not fuck around with whores would be a good start." When I seen the headlights come through the kitchen window. I quickly hit the save button.
"Hey, babe."
"Hey."
"What's that stuff?" Jax seemed interested in what I was doing. I was more interested in what he had done already.
"Just some case notes I am working on. Where have you been? We went by the clubhouse and you weren't there. No one knew where you were."
"I had a club problem to take care of." It was always those vague answers. He never actually lied about it because he never told me anything direct either.
"Oh really. What was it? Because I called you a couple of times and you never called me back."
"I had to meet with Roosevelt. No big deal I handled it."
"I bet you did."
"What?" It threw him off quilter because he wasn't used to me pressing him on anything he done or said.
"I just meant you are always on top of your club business. Thursday night I would like us to have dinner with the boys. You haven't been home to eat with us in over a month." This was where I started to set boundaries. I thought it was a reasonable request for him to show up for his family and spend time with us.
"Okay it sounds good. I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed. I'm exhausted."
"I wouldn't miss dinner if I were you, Jax. I am giving you a three day notice."
"I won't. You can count on me babe."
Irrational, crazy or even wrong. Things were about to change. Maybe not for the good but, change none the less. I gave Jax the chance to tell me where he was and he lied to me about it. My behavior was made out to be irrational by him. He agreed to full disclosure and no more secrets. I guess the rule doesn't apply to what he doesn't want me to know about.
While I cuddled up in a blanket on the bed waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. I wanted to talk about Jimmy. When he came in I explained the problem and what I wanted to do about it.
"The club is tapped, babe. Or we would help with the money."
"I don't want the club to donate the money. I just need help raising it. Gemma said she is willing to help."
"We will do what we can. Are you ready for bed?"
When I laid in Jax's arms there was no questioning why I chose to live his kind of life. The outline of his face was all I could see by the alarm clock light. Watching him sleep until I must have drifted off myself. Because I was woke up with a very wet kiss and little hands on my face.
"Good morning, Mommy."
"Morning, baby. Where is Daddy?"
"He is making pancakes."
"Really?"
Jax couldn't make toast by himself without burning it. I rolled over and looked at the clock and I should have been up an hour ago.
"Maybe we should help him."
We stopped to get Thomas only he wasn't in his crib. Jax had already dressed him and had him at the table in his high chair.
"What is all of this?"
"I thought about what you said last night. I know I haven't been around and I thought we would eat breakfast as a family this morning."
My orange juice and coffee was poured for me. This was a complete switch in roles for us. I was always the one who got up first, got the kids dressed and feeds everyone.
Jax was trying to flip over the pancakes and lets just say they wouldn't be the prettiest I have ever had. When someone else cooks for you the food always just taste better for some reason no matter how it looks.
Abel didn't even notice how they looked after Jax put syrup on them for him. Abel ate and jabbered on with him about absolutely nothing. I think it made him happy to have some time with Jax.
Unfortunately I don't think Jax realizes the time he was missing out on with the boys. It made me sad to know the the club takes precedence over what was happening with his children. They were growing by leaps and bounds. Soon Abel would be starting school. Thomas would be walking on his own and not want to be held so much. Before you knew it they would be grown and gone with their own families.
Someone was already at the door as early as it still was this morning. Jax went to answer it and Gemma was following along behind him when he came back into the kitchen.
"I will take the boys to daycare this morning. So you can over see the car wash."
"Car wash?"
"Yeah you said you needed to get the money as soon as possible. They are having it in the parking lot across from the Lodge." Overnight they came up with a solution. This was where Gemma was great. She could angle so much shit. Of course, most of the time she caused the shit. It really wasn't the point though, she was trying to be helpful.
"It's not like I am not grateful or anything. But how is a car wash going to help raise the kind of money we need?"
"It's a special car wash." I really didn't care for the way she said it. Nor the look on her face much.
We got the boys ready to go. Jax helped Gemma get them in her car. Before he got on his bike I gave him a kiss. He was making an effort and I wanted him to know it wasn't going unnoticed.
"Thank you for this morning. It meant a lot to me."
"You mean everything to me, Tara. I know I'm far from perfect. But it doesn't mean I don't love you and don't appreciate everything you do."
Just when I wanted to stand up to Jax and say this was it. I have had enough and couldn't take it anymore, he does something like this or says the right thing to always make me stay.
While I drove to the Lodge I thought about last night. Maybe I jumped to fast to think the worst of Jax. It could have been Roosevelt was the last stop he made and it was what he told me about. Hell anymore I got confused by all the shit he does and had to go through everyday. He was always going in fifty different directions.
When I looked across the street from the Lodge I couldn't believe my eyes. Talk about being shocked. The whole brothel was out there in nothing and I do mean nothing to wash cars. I thought it was rush hour holding up traffic but of course it wasn't. Cars were lined up to get washed by them.
Some were walking up and down the street holding signs in barely enough to cover their nipples up. At least they were eager beavers. Nero came out when he saw me.
"Hey, Tara. I hope this will help Jimmy. My boy takes a lot of care and I understand about how expensive it is."
Nero told me about his son. I guess I wasn't aware of what was wrong with him or he had a child for that matter. We talked for a bit and his heart was in the right place. But I still wasn't sure this was how I wanted to raise the money. With all the bad things I had said about them. I felt kind of bad they were willing to do it. Not to mention if the hospital ever found out I had anything to do with this and the brothel, it wouldn't be a good thing at all.
"Anything will help Jimmy and his family. I appreciate you doing this."
"I would like to do a lot more. With my old business getting shut down and just starting this one, I'm a little short on cash."
Nero didn't mention the fact he had given the club so much money. Jax told me about it. I wondered what else Nero wasn't mentioning to me.
"It's okay. You're doing as much as you can do, Nero. How did things work out with Collette?"
"I'm not excited about it. I think Jax wants it more than I do. It just doesn't feel right to me. She seems nice and all but having the cop involved makes me nervous."
Once Nero believed I already knew what was going on. He opened up a little. Like how my husband went back to the house with her to see the operation yesterday and how he was going there again this morning. Something else Jax failed to tell me himself.
"I have to check in with the hospital and I will be back this afternoon. I can't thank you enough, Nero."
"You're welcome. If there is anything else I can do, I will."
Nero was genuine. It wasn't exactly something I was used to seeing from people around the club. I was thankful to him for many reasons. One he was helping with Jimmy's cause and two he told me all about Collette's little business. Including where it was.
Her whore house was the first place I went. Jax's bike wasn't here so I knew he wasn't either. Next I found the bakery Nero described to me. Bingo, Jax's bike was parked in the back of it.
Now was when I could have acted irrationally and thrown a fit to let him know I knew he lied to me. Or I could have handled it like Gemma would have and hit the bitch in the face with a skate board. I choose to neither of those things. Collette and I would come to an understanding only it would be when I was ready and on my terms.
After a quick check in at the hospital I wanted to get back to the car wash. With those women doing it I was really curious as to how much money they could raise. Only it was closed up by the time I got back. I figured it ended up being a flop. But I wanted to thank Nero anyway for the effort he made.
When I went inside the Lodge it was quiet. Lyla came out when she heard the door.
"Is Nero here?"
"He went to see Jax. This is for you." She handed me an envelope with a wad of cash in it.
"Wow, there has to be at least three thousand dollars in here. You made this on a car wash?"
"There is nine thousand dollars in there to be exact. We made it doing a car wash and some soapy girl on girl fantasies. What can I say, pussy sells. Nero gave you the house's cut and we donated our services."
Holy fuck, pussy really does sell. Of course they sold their asses too. I was taking prostitution money. In just four hours or so they made this. It would come out to be roughly two thousand five hundred dollars an hour. As badly as it made me feel to know where the money came from and how it was earned, I took it. I don't think Jimmy's mom would care if it came from robbing a bank as long as it saved her baby.
"Thank you, Lyla and everyone who helped."
"We did it for Jax. And well you too. I really hope it helps the little boy."
Of course they didn't do it for me. They done it for Jax. But at this point I couldn't have cared less. Then she handed me another envelope.
"This is Nero's donation. He gave five thousand and said to tell you he wished he could do more."
Lyla's cell went off and I wasn't intentionally eves dropping, it just worked out that way. It was Nero. Jax and Nero were bring Colette to the Lodge tonight so she could she how it operates.
"Well I have to go and get things ready for tonight. So I'll see you later, Tara."
"Lyla wait. The other day when I came to see you, you asked why I came here and I wasn't honest with you. Do you have maybe five minutes so we could talk?"
"Okay. Do you want a cup of coffee?"
"That would be great."
Lyla was actually a lot more understanding than I thought she would be. When Opie was still alive, she felt like I do. The club always came first and he shut her out. Not to mention he cheated on her with the same skank.
"I am the one men cheat with. I was hurt when Op slept with Ima but, I eat pussy for a living. So how could I stay mad at him. If you're worried about Jax being here, I can tell you he never touches any of the girls."
"I'm not saying Jax has done anything. It's just he is never home and we hardly ever see each other anymore. Maybe I am being insecure for no reason."
"Hey, I get it. You want your man to pay attention to you. You should do something to make yourself feel good. Make him see what is in front of him."
"You have to educate them. The best way to make your old man stay home was for him to know everyone else wants you. You need to fit in better, Tara. Being a part of what they are is the best way to be close to them and keep them close to you." In some ways I knew Gemma was right. She had said it so many times. I didn't fit in well with the other women. Mainly because I was nothing like them nor really wanted to be for that matter.
A girl came in and needed Lyla for something. "Excuse me, Tara. I'll be back in a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable."
On the couch in the waiting area. I was just hoping I wouldn't catch anything from sitting on it. Then I laughed to myself it was this kind of thought that separated me from them. Well among many other things. I was going to have to work on it, a lot.
Today was a turning point for me. You stumbled, caught yourself and recovered. Recovering was what I planned on doing. The other old ladies believed there was only one way to act to fit in with the club. I must admit I was going to try some of their ways to see if I could do it. Also, I would set the bar at a higher standard for them to meet.
This may or may not work. Someone started this sort of behavior a long time ago. The rest have played follow the leader instead of being a leader and making changes. I knew it would take time to evolve them in a new direction and change won't happen overnight or easily without resistance.
After I thought about it, it was a lot like high school. You choose which lunch table to set at. If you followed the cool kids, dressed just like they did, condoned their actions and behaved like them. Nine times out of ten they let you in their circle and you got to sit at the popular table. I wanted to be at the cool old ladies table and still do it my way. Was it even possible to take years of demonizing women and turn it around with changes?
"Okay, where were we?"
Hitting the save button when Lyla came back in. No one ever needed to know about my feelings or thoughts. This was the safest way to make sure it doesn't happen either. Jax would never get into my work computer and besides, I always kept it with me in my bag.
"Is the crises diverted?"
"The girls were deciding the wardrobe for the evening. With Collette coming, they wanted to make sure it was okay." Lyla was a lot more open with me than she ever had been before. Perhaps, it was the approach I took with her.
"What are you doing with Collette?"
"We are going to show her the right way to run an escort business. There is a fine line between a whore house and a legitimate escort service. The money the customer pays for one. Most of them want it to be discreet and for no one to know they were ever here. How much the cops try to bust you is the other big perk of being an escort. I'm sorry to cut this short. But I have so much to do to get ready."
"You helped me, Lyla. I would like to return the favor. What can I do to help you?"
"Um... I'm not sure Jax will like it." I understood her hesitation. There was nothing she wasn't used to a man controlling for her. But times were changing.
"He is my old man and he'll get over it."
"Wow, you sounded just like Gemma."
Oh that was so good and so bad at the same time to be compared to Gemma. It was a place to start my experiment though. It would allow me to have a reason to be around without looking like I was checking up on Jax. It would also give me time with them to try to fit in.
"Gemma can you pick the boys up from daycare and watch them until I get home tonight?" Grandma used every excuse she could find to spend time with the boys. This phone call would give her that time with them she longed for. The opportunity to fit in with her family again.
"Sure. Where are you going?"
"I'm helping Lyla with the Lodge."
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
Time with Lyla was another eye opener for me. I thought it was all pussy and just them laying it down. But it wasn't. Even though it was the end result. The girls all listened to what she had to say and what she wanted them to do. She was Gemma of the pussy world.
Lyla made sure everything was clean. From the kitchen to each of the girl's room. Their permits and applications were laid out nightly so if they would had a surprise visit from the police, they were ready for them. I cleaned the bar and the waiting area. I even went to buy a bunch of fresh cut flower arraignments to help while she was doing something else.
It was down to the girls getting ready for the evening. "Tara, I don't know how to say this. You can't wear that tonight."
"Why not?"
"Because you look like a banker. Come on, I will find you something to wear."
Lyla took me in the back where they kept boxes and racks of clothing. "Here hold on to this." It was a pair of red leather pants. She found a red leather bustier to go with it.
"I don't think I can wear this."
"If you want to be here when Colette gets here. Don't you want to look good?" It was the smirk Lyla had on her face. Obviously she knew why I wanted to be a part of tonight.
"Yes, I do."
Wiggling my ass into those tight pants and it still wasn't working. "Jesus Christ. Who is supposed to wear these, a sixth grader?"
"Suck it in, Tara."
"These feel like a second skin."
"Well, it is the point."
A push up bra made my boobs look huge and stuck out like they never have before. Hell, I might even have to buy one later for myself.
"Lets do your hair and makeup."
There was so much of it caked on my face. I am pretty modest with the makeup and hairspray. Lyla wasn't however. After she picked through the curls she put in my hair. She pulled one side back and used a diamond clip to hold it in place. Along with another gallon of hairspray. I bet it was a big expense for these girls.
She placed a diamond choker around my neck with long dangling diamond earrings to complete my ensemble.
"You look great. Now let's get you some shoes."
It was the worst part. How in the hell do they walked around on four inch spikes was beyond me. Of course I guess in reality they don't walk around as much as they laid down.
"All you have to do is mingle with the clients. Stay out here in the front. Be friendly and offer them a drink until they pick their date. If they should hit on you. Politely decline them and say one of the girls will be happy to take care of you. Can you do that, Tara?"
"Yes, I can." The words came from my mouth but, the thoughts running through my head were different.
Lyla disappeared into the back to get dressed. Some of the other girls came out and was setting around waiting for the men to come in. I noticed one of them was leaning her head over on the couch.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm not feeling well."
When I touched her forehead, she was burning up. "Where do you hurt?"
We went into her room. After she showed me, I knew what was wrong with her. "Let me go get my bag. I'll be right back."
"Is it bad, Doc?"
"Nothing some penicillin won't cure."
The girl had a simple case of chlamydia. I should have made her do a blood test but, hell I have seen a thousand cases of it. I just wonder how many men or women she had spread it to already?
"What's going on?" Lyla stayed on top of her game. She made her rounds to all the girls before show time.
"Bianca will be out of commission for about thirty days. She has gonorrhea."
"Oh shit. Don't let anyone else find out."
With my gloves on I gave her two shots. I also gave her the pills I had in my bag. "When those are gone. Call me and we will do a blood test to make sure it is all cleared up. And don't have any sexual contact with anyone until then."
"Okay. But how am I supposed to take care of my daughter?"
"You have a daughter?"
"Yeah, she's two."
Taking three hundred dollars out of my bag, I gave it to her. I would put my money in there later to make it up for Jimmy.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome and remember no sexual activity for thirty days."
Bianca left and was going to go out the back door. It wasn't exactly something a brothel would want to advertise one of their girls having.
"You did a nice thing for her, Tara. Thank you."
"We have to feed our children, Lyla."
"Yes we do. We better get back out there so I can feed mine."
When we did. Jax was with a blonde I would assume was Colette. She was giggling and hanging all over him. And he wasn't even trying to push her away either. Her hand went to his leg and she was rubbing it. I wanted to blow up.
"Keep your cool, Tara. Show him you can handle anything."
Lyla was right. If I went off it would only prove I hadn't changed at all. The old Tara would have thrown a fit and accused him of sleeping with her. So I chose to handle it differently.
Jax was so lost in her. He didn't even notice I was standing in front of them. Or maybe it was because he didn't expect me to be here so he thought he had nothing to worry about.
"You must be Colette. I'm Tara, Jax's wife."
Lets say it more than got his attention. "Hey, babe. What are you doing here?"
"Lyla had a lot going on today with the car wash and everything. So I volunteered to help."
"Jax, can I talk to you?" Nero didn't seem so enchanted with Colette. If anything he was short with her and Jax about the whole thing.
"I'll be back."
"So, you're Jax's wife. For some reason I thought you would be prettier."
"Yeah and for some reason, I thought you would be younger and prettier too. You must have a lot of experience. What are you fifty-five, sixty years old? You should talk to my mother-in-law. I bet you two have a lot in common with being the same age and all."
"Hi, I'm Lyla. Let me show you around." As they walked off together. Lyle did give me a smile over her shoulder.
After they left I went to go into Nero's office. But I stopped at the door because there was arguing.
"I don't like this shit, Jax. It could be a setup by Barosky."
"It's not. Colette is cool with everything." Jax was so damn confident with his statement. But, I couldn't help but wonder if pussy was clouding his judgement to some degree.
"Is she? Or she is just making you believe that shit?" Nero stood his ground. His experience in this game somehow made me believe his doubts about Collette. Or hell, It could have been because I didn't like the bitch either.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I think I know about street shit, Nero."
"We're supposed to be partners man and making the decisions together. On this one, you're making all the decision. I don't see her or her girls bringing in the kind of money she says they are. I have done this for a long time. They are not high end pussy and bringing in guys from the docks doesn't equal a big money payout. It just doesn't feel right to me."
"Okay. You dig in a little deeper and find out more about them. We are partners, Nero. If you find something on them, we end it."
In these high heels I was trying to make a quick get away from the door before they came out. Only, I ran straight into the one person I never wanted to see me here. The hospital's top administrator. He made all the decisions of who stayed and who goes. I was staring into his face and no words would come out. Looking like a whore as well, I might add.
He turned his head away from me and kept walking like he never saw me. With his arm around one of the girls. He was married and had four children at home. Is there anyone who doesn't cheat on their spouse?
"Lyla do you know that guy?"
"He is a regular here. Why?"
"Never mind. I just thought he was someone I knew."
Jax wasn't exactly happy I was here. Because he startled me when he came up behind me. "What are you doing Tara?"
"I'm following your lead, baby. This is just business for you and I want to be a part of whatever you do."
"This is not a place for you to be hanging out at."
"Then it's not a place for you to be either."
"We have talked about this."
"Yeah, you talk about it Jax and I have to go along with it. Without further input on my part or a discussion about it."
Needing a minute alone. I couldn't believe he was giving me the same damn speech again after the other night. It wasn't a big deal then so why the fuck was it a big deal now? As I stood in the kitchen I was trying to calm down and it just wasn't working.
"Tara."
"I'll be out in a minute."
"Don't let them get to you."
"Do they get to you, Jax?"
"Tara come on I..."
Talking was over. I needed action from him. To know he was my husband and wanted me too. So I pushed him by the chest until he was up against the wall. He was taken off guard by what I had done. I've never been an aggressive person but maybe it was time I learned to be.
Ripping his shirt until there wasn't a single button left on it. His hands went to my bustier and was trying to undo each of the hooks.
"Get it off of me. Use your imagination, Jax."
He picked me up and laid me down on the big counter in the center of the kitchen. The steel of his knife felt cold against my skin as it ripped easily through the leather.
The hurry he was in to get me naked was the passion I've missed so much from him. His hands ran over my bra pulling my breast out of the cups. Then his tongue was swirling around my bare nipple. With each breath he would let out a cool breeze was making my nipples more erect.
It took me a lot longer to get those damn pants on then it did for Jax to get them off of me. I sat on the edge of the counter waiting to feel him. Waiting to be one with my husband. When he stuck his cock inside me I couldn't help but to let out a moan.
Holding on to his shoulders I kissed his neck while he let his dick show me how much he wanted to be with me. Until I saw her standing in the doorway watching us. The smile she had on her face when she came in tonight with my husband wasn't the same one she wore now.
Half smiling and with a cocky smirk on my face I mouthed the words to Colette. "He's mine." She turned around and left.
Jax lifted me off of the counter and wanted to take me from behind. I was more than willing to let him drive his cock into me hard. With each thrust he made inside of me, we were feeling the love between us.
The sweat was running down his face when we were done. "I don't want you hanging out here anymore Tara."
"Okay. Whatever you say baby." I let Jax win this one. But you could damn well bet, I would win the next one. As they kept telling me. Don't sweat the small stuff and fight over things that really weren't important. Wait it out until it is something big came and then you be relentless about it.
Throwing on his old flannel shirt. I tucked my boobs back in the cups of the bra and put my panties back on. Since there were no buttons left on the shirt, I would have to hold it together. Hell I didn't care. I felt so good and I wouldn't let anyone take the feeling away from me.
"What am I supposed to wear?" I tossed him his leather.
"It will be a sexy look on you, Jax. Your leather without a shirt on."
We walked out of the kitchen together. I handed Lyla back the pants and what was left of the bustier. "Thanks. I'll buy a new one to replace it."
"Um... okay." She seemed stunned by what transpired here tonight. So was I actually.
"I will be expecting you home soon, Jax."
"I need to make sure Colette gets home then I'll be there."
"She's gone. She took a cab home." Lyla informed him quickly when he brought up Colette's name.
Jax got a long kiss from me in nothing but his flannel in front of everyone. "Like I said baby, I will see you at home real soon."
Holding my head up high while I walked past them all. Hell I still had on more than most of the women in here. I had nothing to be ashamed of. At least I was fucking my husband and not another woman's man.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
Jax made a point to call me to check in several times. Or send a quick text to tell me he loved me. I thought we were getting back on the right track until today. Or maybe I was lulled into a false sense of security.
We were supposed to take the boys to the park and eat lunch. Jax promised he would spend the rest of the day with us. Then we would eat dinner together as a family.
Jax's cell went off after only being at the park for twenty minutes with us. I already knew he would have to go. He could never keep a promise to the ones he loves. When I found out why he had to leave, lets just say it would be a hard lesson learned for him. Because it was a promise I made to myself.
"Colette got shut down. I don't know what happened but she needs me."
"I need you, Jax. Your children need you." It was the same unanswered plea I made with him over and over. Many times anger was just a misguided plea for love. I was about to become fucking angry with him.
"I won't be gone long. I promise. We will still have dinner together tonight as a family."
I watched him ride away us without as much as second glance in our direction. I couldn't even believe I got sucked in again by him. He threw a little affection at me and I swooned for him like a school girl. Only to have it shattered in a couple of days down the road.
As much as you wanted someone to change and believed they could or would, they were in control of their life. Not you. There was only one person whom you could control and try to find happiness with, yourself. We all craved love and it made us a blind crazy. Even I couldn't be blindsided with what just transpired between us and his sons.
The whore called and he goes running to her. When I needed something I had to take a number and stand in line to wait until he had the time. Well, this would be one promise he would keep or suffer the consequences of it.
We all made choices, but in the end our choices made us. The choices we made, whether bad or good, followed you forever and affected everyone in their path one way or another. This was where Jackson Teller was blind. He couldn't see what it done to me or his sons.
"Choices be damned."
When you were the only parent around most of the time. You had to carry on alone and try to make it a good time for your children. Try to not let them see the pain you felt. Try to still make it a pleasant day for them.
Abel had other children to play with and I held on to Thomas while he slept. I pushed him on the baby swing until his little eyes couldn't stay open any longer.
After the other children left Abel got board. It was a good time to feed him. Because when he had someone to play with he showed no interest in food.
"Abel honey, I am going to get our lunch. Stay right here until I get back okay?"
"Okay."
He was such a good boy and done what I said most of the time. I wouldn't be to far away from him. It was just a short walk to the car but still, I had to use caution just in case.
Laying Thomas in his carrier. I buckled him in. He could sleep in it on the picnic table while Abel and I ate. When I grabbed the basket out of the back of the car I noticed a man was talking to Abel. I could tell by the way he was dressed, it was a threat to my son.
Grabbing the gun out of my purse I went running to get there. "Get away from him. Abel run."
Abel froze and didn't move. Dammit I told him to stay there and of course he didn't know he was in any danger. The man took off. I wasn't sure if he was a random pervert or if he wanted to hurt us because of the club.
As swiftly as I could, I scooped Abel up in my arms to getting back to Thomas.
"Mommy, my ball."
"I'll get you a new one."
"No. I want that one. Daddy got it for me."
First I strapped Abel in his booster seat. I made sure they were alright. I locked the doors and put the key in my pocket. I tried Jax's cell but of course he didn't fucking answer me.
It was only a short walk to get Abel's ball. It meant the world to him because Jax bought it. It was pathetic how Abel had to hold on to a ball instead of his father. I looked around before walking across the grass to pick it up.
A car came barreling towards me from the parking lot. Two men got out and there was no way I was going to get back to the car without a fight.
"You're Jax Teller's old lady."
"What do you want?"
"We have a score to settle."
My children were near and in danger. Because if anything happened to me, it would end up happening to them too. Bashing the one in the face with my cast. It was my only defense against them.
The other guy grabbed a handful of my hair. The only thing I could think of, I reached in my coat and pulled out the gun Jax gave me. I started firing it on them son of a bitches. Really I didn't figure I would hurt them, I wanted to try to scare them away. It didn't take them long to get back in the car and leave. I managed to hit one of them in the gut. If he didn't do something soon, he would bleed out.
As fast as I could run, I had to get back to the boys and get us the fuck out of here. Fumbling to get the key out of my pocket. Once I pushed the button to release the door lock. We were speeding to get the hell out of here.
Through the rear view mirror, I watched with scared eyes. I never saw anyone following us. Once I thought we were safe, I pulled over to have my break down. Gemma was the only one who I thought of to call. At least she would answer her damn cell for me.
"Tara I can't understand what you're saying. Where are you?"
It wasn't long until Gemma showed up with Nero. Chibs, Juice and Bobby weren't far behind them. They kept asking me question after question. There was only one thing important to me and what they needed to know the most.
"They have a score to settle with Jax. I'm taking my children home now."
"You need to have someone staying with you Tara until Jax gets home."
"Thanks Bobby. But I can take care of my family."
"I really think you need us to be around. Nero and I will stay until Jax gets there." Gemma was pushy as normal. Only I was grateful for it this time.
"Okay."
As much as I wanted to believe I could take care of myself and my family, could I really? The next time I might not be as lucky as I was today. Me and the boys walked away but, would we the next time? Because there was always going to be another person waiting in line to hurt us as long as I was with Jax.
Nero and Gemma followed us home. Once I got the boys inside my four walls of sanity I felt a little better. Gemma was giving them a bath while I fixed dinner. If Jax knew what was good for him, he would be here to eat it with us.
The first thing I done was go into the bathroom so I could wash my hand. His blood was on my cast. I took it off and scrubbed my hands many times. Even though they were clean, I still could see the blood on them.
"Are you okay Tara?"
"I don't know anymore."
Chibs called Nero. They went to the park after we left and never saw anyone or found anything. I was still worried about what would happen to me for shooting the guy.
"Do you think they will go to the police, Nero?"
"No I wouldn't worry about that. The last thing they will want is the cops involved. If I had to guess they won't even go to a hospital. They'll get patched up somewhere else."
"I shot a person. What the hell does it make me?" Gemma drilled in my head. You should never show weakness, ever. I felt comfortable with Nero, so I done exactly what she told me not to.
"A survivor. You protected Abel and Thomas on your own, mama. It wasn't Jax Teller, it was you who did what you had to do to take care of your family."
"Everything in this life scares me. Sometimes I think I'm afraid of my shadow."
Nero just listened while I talked. He was different from the others. The best part was he never passed judgement on me or said it would get better. They always say it would get better and I found it only got worse.
"Shit still scares me. You're not the only one."
It was a relief hearing Nero say those words. I wasn't sure if everyone else around me feared nothing or if they just got so damn good a pretending they truly weren't any longer.
Gemma came in with Abel and Thomas. Nero went with Abel to watch his favorite video. Gemma was fed Thomas for me. For my children I had to get my shit together. I was going to finish this damn dinner come hell or high water.
After I peeled the potatoes and carrots, I started the roast in the oven. It was always Jax's favorite and I wanted this meal to be something he would want.
Jumping when a knock on the door happened. I looked at the clock. I was hoping it was Jax but, he wouldn't have knocked. Nero was pushing me back so he could open it.
"Juice."
"Hey I was just in the neighbor hood and thought I would drop by. I'm not checking up on you or anything Tara."
"Really just in the neighbor hood. Why?"
"I was... coming by to talk to Jax." Juice didn't hide his emotions as well as the others. He came up with several excuses as to why he came by. Other than the fact he was here to check up on me.
"He's not here. Would you like to eat with us?"
"Yeah. If you have enough?" His boyish charm was cute. It seemed to please him I even asked. But I understood all to well how much it meant to be included.
"There is plenty."
There was plenty because Jax broke his promise to me once again. The last promise he would break without feeling the repercussions of his actions. He was always telling me I had to think shit through, maybe this time he should have.
"They only know what you teach them Tara. The more you let your old man get away with, the more shit he will do. When you let them push you around, they will keep pushing until you push back." Gemma's words rang loud in my head while I finished up dinner. They also touched me in a new way this time.
We all sat down at the table together. The boys may not have had their father but, they still had a family who loved them here. We ate, had a pleasant conversation and a few laughs. This was something that hasn't happened at the dinner table in a long time.
After dinner Gemma wanted to put the boys to bed. So, I let her while I cleaned up the kitchen. Juice took off Nero and Gemma followed him shortly afterwards.
There was still one more thing I had to do before Jax got home. When it was done, I lit up a smoke and had a glass of wine.
His headlight came in through the kitchen window. I waited patently for him. He was jiggling the door handle and trying his hardest to get the door open. It wasn't long until my cell went off. Well, I'll be damned he does remember my phone number and how to use the phone to call me when he wanted something.
"Yeah."
"There's something wrong with the lock. I can't get in."
"The lock is fine. Your key doesn't fit anymore because I had the locks changed. If you would like a new key, you have to earn it. I'm done fucking around even though I do love you."
"What the fuck is going on, Tara?"
"There are new rules to the game, Jax. The boys and I were attacked today and you weren't there. This is what happens when you choose whores over your family. We will try this again tomorrow night. Dinner will be on the table at six o'clock. I will expect you to be on time for it without any exceptions."
"What are you talking..."
Talk time was over, I hung up the phone because no matter how many times I told him something he just didn't listen. It was up to Jax to take action if he wanted to keep his family together as much as I did. He kept trying to call me and I kept pushing the ignore button. I watched Jax from the window throwing a little fit like Abel does out in the driveway. I fully expected him to go running back to the club like he always had done. But he didn't.
Jax let out a long line of curse words while he took the boys car seats out of my SUV. He sat them down on the ground, climbed in the back seat and slammed the door shut.
"There maybe hope for you yet Mr. Teller. I am going to get you to walk the line one way or another."
I hope you enjoyed reading me!
I would love to hear what you think about the story. I know some of you are probably wondering why I would put the crow in there. I am going somewhere with it, I promise.
Tara will be a lot stronger and harder on Jax when he screws up or doesn't have his priorities in order. Sometimes it has to get worse before you can make it better. And this story will be about how she can make a better life for her family and find a happy medium with the club.
I really believe by the time she tried to change things in the show, her destiny was all ready written. Maybe if she would have shown Jackson some tough love in the beginning she would have made it out alive.
How many of you are excited about season seven starting? I know it is their final ride and I will watch it but, I can't say I am excited like I normally am.
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