Chapter 19
Mothers, Daughters; Fathers, Sons
PART 2 of 4
There are going to be 4 parts of this instead of only 3. It's a lot longer than I originally thought. Please keep in mind it might not all make sense until I get the rest posted (another 20,000 words to go). Since I did Camp Nano and wrote like crazy for it. I am a little behind on this my lovelies.
For those who are confused on the mythology or crows. Send me a PM and I am more than happy to answer any of your questions. Thank you lovelies for staying with me on this!
The smell of something delicious is what I woke up to. I stretched from laying on the floor all night. I came to the realization quickly; I was too old for this shit. When I looked over Thomas and all the kids were gone from their beds we made them last night.
It relieved my stress when I rounded the corner to see Nicole playing with Thomas in the kitchen. "Where are the kids?"
"Kyle and David came over this morning. They went out back with David and are blowing stuff up. They saw it on Myth Busters and just had to do the experiment for themselves."
The heat was already brutal this morning when I stepped out on the deck. I laughed at the two big boys playing like they were children too. They were shoving Mentos in a Diet Coke bottle to watch it erupt like a volcano of soda everywhere. It wasn't just once they did it either. There must have been ten plastic bottles laying on the ground.
"Men are so easily entertained, I swear." But at least all the boys were having a good time with it. Even Kenny seemed happy to be out there with them. He was my biggest worry out of all the kids at the moment.
"Good morning, Tara. Did you know Kenny has a problem? He said he couldn't tell you about it."
"Yes, I am aware he has one. But I don't know what it is or how to help him because he won't talk to me about it."
"He is having erections already. Especially in the mornings and he thought something is wrong with his thing. We noticed him off to himself. When we tried to get him to come out and play with the other kids. He refused to stand up while keeping his lap covered up. Well, you know, me and Boomer caught on pretty quick to what it is."
"Kenny is too young isn't he?"
"He's almost twelve and it's a normal thing boys go through. They will get more frequent the older he gets. I didn't know how much you want me to tell him about it. We sort of talked in general and he said he missed his grandpa. They did a lot together and he could talk to him about anything."
"Shit. I don't suppose I could get lucky enough for Kenny to grow out of it in a month or two. Can I?"
"I'm thirty one, girl. I still haven't grown out of it yet. The wind blows too hard and I get a one. I'll talk to him if you want me to. I didn't know if you wanted Jax to do it or not."
Kenny felt the effects of losing everyone in his life too. I wasn't as keen on his needs like I was Ellie. The simple boy verse girl stuff and my boys were still young. What was even sadder. Kenny didn't bring up missing Opie either. Both them had no true love for their father. It was Piney that was his constant male role model in Kenny's life, his father figure. Another effect of what the club does to their children over time.
The kids probably didn't have many friends to talk with because they've been shuffled around to so many new schools after Opie and Donna passed away. They were hit from every side of life's problems.
Since, I wasn't much help in the area and Kenny obviously wasn't comfortable talking to me about it. Kyle done it. They went for a walk and I just hoped it helped this messed up little boy get better.
When they came back outside with the football I bought for Kenny to toss around. Their talk must have gone somewhat well. Of course Cody and Abel had to get in on the action too. Nicole set by me and Ellie while we watched the boys play.
My son was the most adorable little thing ever. While the others yelled hut when they hiked the ball. It came out. "Hop." From Abel's mouth.
"Hey, girl. Come here our teams are uneven." It was David, Cody and Kenny versing Kyle and Abel.
"I can't, I'm holding Thomas."
Kyle winked at me. "Wrong girl. I meant the little one."
Ellie didn't move when he said it. Not a word from her either until Kenny made a comment. "Girls can't play football."
"I'll play." All it took to motivate her was her brother telling her she couldn't do something.
"We'll cheer you on Ellie. Kick theirs butts." Nicole was the encouragement Ellie needed. I was loving but not very competitive or outgoing like her.
"You're Little G from now on, Okay?" Ellie smiled and nodded to Kyle. He whispered something to her and Abel, their next play I would assume.
"Hop one, hop two…" That was my sweet son. His little legs weren't really big enough to hike the ball through. So he just turned around and handed the ball to Kyle after he picked it up from the ground. Which he passed it to Ellie once she got by the boys on the other side of the yard. She was doing the happy dance when she caught it, bless her heart. It was a true happy emotion she expressed.
But Ellie was done with it then. She followed behind Nicole and the boys to go inside the house. Except for Kyle and Kenny. He was showing Kenny how to pass the ball the right way. I let them be and went inside too.
Thomas had been so good when I put him in his carrier to help slice up strawberries and put blueberries in a bowl. To go on the French bread Nicole made. It was a new way for me to make it. She made loaves of banana nut bread. Cut it up in slices then dipped them in an egg and sprinkled them cinnamon sugar.
When it came time to put the powder sugar on it, Kyle and Nicole did not see it the same way. "Kyle you better get the hell out of my kitchen, boy before I whip your ass."
"You don't put enough on it, Nicole. Let go of the sifter and you couldn't whip my ass with ten of your friends helping you."
David and I looked just looked on. This was a true sibling squabble between them. It should have stayed that way but, it didn't. They were fighting over it and neither one would give in. Poor David, he should have moved out of the way when I did because he was wearing some of it now. By the time it was done all four of us and the floor was covered in powdered sugar.
We heard this little clearing of a throat. "I hope you will get this mess cleaned up. Or you all will be in big trouble, right Mom?"
"That's correct Cody. They will have to clean up their mess. I am so upset in you guys." Nicole could barely keep a straight face while she said it to her son. She was just as guilty as we were.
"Oh brother." Abel expressed his disapproval too. "This is just bad, Mommy." Fuck, I was the one who got busted with the sifter in my hands. Because the others bailed and left me holding it.
"Come on, Abel. Let's go play in my room until breakfast."
"Okay."
The boys went right back to being playful children. We all had a good laugh at it while we started cleaning up the kitchen. When it was done we finally set down to eat.
Kyle had several pieces piled up on his plate. I noticed Nicole paying attention to his every movement. He went into the living room to eat with the kids when he finished.
"It's amazing at Kyle's turn around in just a couple of days. I couldn't get him to eat anything and he seems happy again. Are you positive there isn't something going on between the two of you, Tara? Just being around you, he is completely different."
"Um…I, I'm glad he is better. We're just friends and I really don't want anything to happen to him." It was where I left that shit at. If I told her about the crows and John she would have thought, we flipped our last cookies too just like everyone else had already.
But there were still a lot of issues we had to work out and to talk about. One of them was getting closer to Kyle without him even trying. Ellie set near him but not right beside him. She strayed away from men in general. She did avoid David though. When he set on the floor by them, she was at my feet by the couch.
This behavior would affect every relationship she tried to have in the future with anyone. You had to address it and break the cycle somehow. Hell, it was my same behavior of the past as well. I avoided men and ignored them as much as possible. For the fear they would hurt me in some way. Maybe men coming to me was never the problem, maybe it was my never accepting any of them.
"Ellie, will you hold my plate for me, for a second?" She was such a good little girl. She did it and never asked why. I picked up Thomas' carrier so we could set on the floor. I held out my hand for the plate to see what she would do.
Kyle scooted over and patted the floor between us. "I made room for you Little G." She set down without a fuss. But still stayed closer to me. It was a small step for her she accomplished and she didn't even know it yet.
After we finished eating Kyle gave Ellie a book. Of course the theme was crows. She didn't say anything about it as she flipped through the pages one at a time. It was almost the same expression of confusion, excitement and uncertainty I had when he gave me my first book on them.
Julia must have known Kyle's love for the crows back then and it was as strong as John's was. The things she wrote about her child carried over to when he became a man too.
"My mom used to take to me and Nicole to the park every weekend so we could feed bread to the birds. The crows are fascinating and really smart birds with the problem solving intelligence of a seven year old child. They have done studies on them…"
It was when I stopped listen to their conversation. Both John and Julia took Jax and Kyle to do the same with the birds. It was the only thing Jax could remember John ever doing with him. Was it another connection they had with their children by random chance or does it actually mean something? There was no way in hell it could have been an accidental thing. Did it possibly provide a link from Jax to Kyle? Or could Jax do the same with the crows but had no idea yet?
"Can we, Tara?"
"Can we what?" Maybe I should have been paying better attention to what they were talking about. I had no clue what Ellie just asked me.
"Can we go by the park to feed the birds on the way back to your house?"
"I don't see why not. Let's help Nicole get everything picked up first."
They didn't want to leave even though we had the house put back to where it was before we started our stay. I hugged Nicole and so did all the kids, even Ellie.
"We will have to do this again. I had a blast."
"Yes we will. I had fun too. Thanks, Nicole." She was kind and even threw in a half a loaf of bread for our adventure.
Nicole handed me something when the kids were outside loading up the car. "Take this, Kyle can't resist it. Play number five." It was a cd by Van Morrison; Crazy Love was the song.
"I don't have a need to get to Kyle."
"I'm sure you don't but take it anyway. Just in case. Our parents used to dance to that song almost every weekend. Sometimes it was in the kitchen. Other times it was by themselves in the front yard. The neighbors thought they were crazy until they got to know them. Then they only wished they had a love like theirs." I stuck it in my purse and she followed me out to say goodbye to the kids again.
When Kyle took Cody with him and David had something else he had to do today. I knew the important thing he was going to do was Nicole later. I laughed at them because they didn't even look at each other while David talked about it. But they both wore the same smile on their faces though.
The kids were extremely happy on the drive to the park. Perhaps it was true, if I could get myself to a better place in life. It would bring happiness in their lives as well. It would seep from me over to them. When I thought it through; I gained joy from watching them have fun and just enjoy themselves. I really had nothing going on to be thrilled about but nothing to be sad over either at this point. So, I rolled with my crew of children down the road with the radio on.
When we got to the park. I let Ellie, Kenny and Abel go play first. Thomas set with me on the park bench while I watched my babies just be kids. Like they were meant to be without fears or worries.
It wasn't long until I had this furry animal rubbing on my legs. "Look at how big George is."
"He is five months old."
"No way it hasn't been that long. He was just a tiny puppy the last time I seen her, him, it."
"You haven't been around much, Tara. I've been in Charming for almost eight months now." Kyle threw a tennis ball which she ran to get and laid it down at his feet to do it again.
"Did you read your mother's book?"
"Yeah, I read it. I don't know what to say about it. There is a lot of shit in there I can relate to. It's almost like the past has come around again and we are playing it out the same way. Until their fate takes us down with it too."
"Me and you both, Kyle. I don't know what to say either. I didn't even finish it all before I gave it to you to read. Are you ever going to tell me what you and Jax talked about? Nero told me some of it already. I know what you did for me while I was in the hospital."
"Nero shouldn't have told you shit. What is between me and Jax will stay there. It is one thing, Tara. I will never tell you or share with you either. You can ask me a thousand time and I won't do it."
"What happened to we need to be completely honest with each other or this won't work, Kyle?"
"I can't. If I would have known about John and all the other shit. I would have killed Jax then and got it over with it."
"Why would say such a thing, Kyle?"
"I am the good brother after all. As the prophecy is written; bad will always outweigh over good so the evil can live on. Jax will come at me eventually and I won't hesitate to do it then either."
"What the hell are you taking about?" Kyle stood up to walk away from me and wouldn't give me any farther information on what he meant. When I noticed his t-shirt was pushed up over it and it was stuck down the back of his pants. "Are you packing a gun on you?"
"Damn straight I am, day and night now. It's registered and I have the right to carry. I'm not a felon. Jax is a criminal. When it comes down to it, who do you think they will believe me or him?"
There was so much shit I missed out on and had piled up around me over the months I knew nothing about. With what Kyle just said, I couldn't even fathom what was coming our way now.
Since he wouldn't listen to reason or stay near me. I took Thomas and went to him. "You need to tell me what the hell you are talking about, Kyle."
"I will later." Ellie was standing by us and was ready to feed the birds. She went with Kyle to do it. The boys wanted to do it with them as well.
They all threw bread pieces on the ground. Even some ducks waddled up to get their share of it. Kyle took Ellie away from the others to feed another group of birds. She seemed okayed with him because I would have interfered if she hadn't been. They set on the ground and were in a conversation. When it was over she went to play.
"Ellie sees a white crow in her dreams. Do you know what that means?"
Of course I didn't know what the hell it meant. Her dreams started off being with black crows and them invading her little head at night when she laid down. She couldn't recall many of the other details. Until the white crow appeared to fight them all away. The white crow was most prominent in her dreams and life apparently.
"The white crow is a rarity; it only has come to handfuls over the years. It's more like having a vision rather than receiving an omen from it. They guard the dreamer from danger. Whatever is going on in Ellie's head, was some bad shit for it to feel the need to protect her from it. It symbolizes time; the past, present and future to come. For some reason, she needs protection from something evil and bad. Ellie is a special little girl. She is very confused and conflicted for her age. We need to watch over her, Tara."
"We, Kyle?"
"Yeah, we. That little girl is tied to all this shit in some way. I just don't know what it is or how yet."
My cell went off and it was Jax to let me know he would be back in a couple of hours. "I should go. Jax will be home soon and I need to get the kids around. Maybe we can finish this talk tomorrow, if you want to?"
"If he's near, you should go home. I'll see you tomorrow."
The connection we had to our special little girl was proven the next morning when I got ready to go to work. Ellie came in and set down on the bed with a bible in her hand. "What are you doing with that, honey?"
"It's Mommy's bible. Can I go with you to see Kyle today?"
"I'm going to work. I'm not going to see him right now."
"He will be there." Ellie kept insisting upon it too. She repeated it a few times throughout my telling her no.
"Be where, Ellie?"
"Waiting for you at the hospital."
"Why do you think that?"
"The crow told me so."
Talk about giving me goose bumps and slight shiver that went all the way up my spine. It wasn't just what Ellie said, it was the way she spoke it. The confidence in her voice of it and she had an agenda all of her own. Unknown to me and Kyle of course.
"Nitta, I am taking Ellie with me today." I gave her money to buy Kenny lunch somewhere so he didn't feel as though he was being left behind. Stuck at the house all day. It got difficult at times trying to juggle their schedules around.
On the drive there, I thought about calling Kyle to see if she was right and it was his intentions. But I decided not to. Let's test Ellie's ability and what she does know. If she was wrong, it would be a long boring day of her hanging around with me.
We dropped Abel and Thomas off at daycare. I gave them their kisses goodbye just like I did every day. When Ellie and I got off the elevator, I seen nothing and no one around.
Just as I was about to give up on her being right, there was a knock on my office door. I just shook my head when I opened it and seen who was standing there.
"You're late, Kyle."
"What?"
He was surprised to see Ellie with me too. We weren't sure what to make of this little girl. She took Kyle's hand and mine as she was ready to go somewhere.
"What, Ellie?"
"The church opens their doors at nine o'clock. It will be open by the time we get there."
Donna had taken the kids with her to church out of Charming on a regular basis. Probably out of prying eyes or so no one else would know she did it. The name of it and address was on a revival paper stuck inside her bible.
Ellie climbed in the middle of us when we got in the truck. Also from the bible was a delicate gold cross necklace. Ellie took it out and handed it to me. "I want you to have it, Tara."
"Oh honey, I can't take this. It's Donna's and you should keep it."
"It will help protect you from evil." It's all Ellie would say about it. Even Kyle was intrigued by what was transpiring between us. He never said anything as he kept driving towards the church.
Where we turned off on was an old dirt road. Dusty as hell as went drove down it. We found the tiny white church in a country setting of trees and flowers. Mostly little purple flowers planted everywhere near it. It was kept up and the property had been well maintained surrounding it.
Once again, Ellie took a hold of both our hands to lead the way. Kyle was the one who hesitated to go inside. "Ellie, go sit down. We will be right there, honey."
From the door I watched her sit down at the pew in front. There were a lot of older people already here this morning. "What's wrong, Kyle?"
"I'm a sinner and I don't pretend I'm not. I don't worship or go to church. But that's not the problem. When we got here, I just got this bad feeling something horrible is going happen." The breaths Kyle was taking in were deep ones. He also had to wipe the sweat away from his brow. "I thought about it last night. I can't let myself get closer to the kids and have them banned from my life too. It's not good for them or me. Ellie and Kenny don't need to feel like one more person has been taken away from them. As soon as Jax finds out, it's exactly what he will do too."
"I won't let that happen. You are important to Ellie. I don't know why or all the reasons. But you are and you make a difference in her life."
"You act like you have a choice, Tara. We both know you really don't."
"We will figure it out." I held out my hand and Kyle finally took it. We crossed over the holy threshold together. Where this journey would lead us to, neither one of us had a clue.
We set on each side of Ellie and waited to see what would or wouldn't happen now. She took Kyle's hand and went up where the preacher stood with a long line of people waiting to talk to him. I had no idea what they were going to do when it was their turn. But whatever it was she needed him to be with her for it.
My true belief was; Ellie was our light of good. There was a time I could have walked only on that side same side with her without a shadow of doubt. But I drew the line between good and bad with some of the recent things I had done in the past. My good was still there and I knew it. Even though I had grip on my corrupt side and I felt it was under control. Maybe it would only raise its ugly head when I needed it to now. I've become everything that I hated and fought so hard against. Every day I fight to make sure to get myself back to where I once was. I was still trying to correct all those wrongs I've done in my life.
Everything was affecting me right now. The low music playing about rejoicing and letting god into your heart. By letting him in they say you will spend the afterlife in the promise land. I wondered where outlaw women go other than straight to hell when it's all over.
They were all saying prayers that god would have mercy on their souls. Even the slightest whispers they were doing sounded like they were screaming it in my ears.
My body felt sticky clammy and I got that sinking feeling down in the pit of my stomach. It was making me so nauseated like I was about to throw up from it. When I went to stand up, I was as dizzy as hell trying to make the few steps to get to the door to get out of here. My feet seemed like they were miles away from my body. With every step I tried to take it was an eternity to make another one.
If I didn't get away from this and get some air I thought, I was going pass out. The breeze blowing on my face was like air conditioning to me when I walked outside and felt it. Even though it was hot as blue blazes today.
"Hello, Tara."
The sun was at his back shinning so brightly in my eyes. But the closer I got to him the more I was sure I knew who he was. His image was a little distorted to me but it was the same old man I had seen before. Around town and in my dreams with the crows.
"Who are you?"
"You begged me to come and save him." It was the same thing the old man repeated once again. As the last time I seen him sitting on top of my tombstone with the crows. "Thank you for taking care of my daughter. Don't let my children forget me."
"Tara?" I turned around when Kyle called my name. But when I turned back around, the old man was gone from my sight.
The most beautiful small white crow flew beside the large pitch black one. They formed a perfect circle up high in the sky as they flew around us a couple of times before their flight left us. We all three stood there in complete fascination of what we witnessed.
The tears fell from me. It was Opie and Donna. No one would ever convince me otherwise either. The good and the bad of their love coming together. She died because she surrendered to Opie's way of life only because she loved him so much. He died because he hated his way of life after it took Donna away from him and he couldn't stand to be without her anymore. Were they joined together once again in the afterlife? Did they come to us with a purpose? What was the real meaning of the message we were just given? Was the white crow indeed Ellie's mother still fighting the evil to care for her children even after death?
"Tara, are you okay?" Tightly I held on to Kyle.
"I will be and so will you."
"So will you, Little G. We will make sure of it somehow." Ellie joined in our hug circle.
Before we got in the truck. Ellie picked one of the small purple flowers. "Mommy loved these." She sniffed it before she pressed it in Donna's bible.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
There was always more to the story. When I walked in the library this morning, I would find out the rest of it. Kyle was sitting at a table with several books opened up. Pieces of paper strung about on it as well.
"What is all of this?"
"We are all telling the same exact story, Tara. John got Gemma pregnant and married her. I got Jenny pregnant and I married her. Jax got you pregnant and he married you. Odin got Frigg pregnant first too. When is your anniversary?"
"September seventeenth."
"It's when John and Gemma got married too. Also the same day I married Jenny. Just all done in different years. I couldn't find an actual date when Odin and Frig were married. Back then it wasn't really recorded on paper. It was just a spoken bond between them."
It was remarkable everything about all of us mirrored the other's story. It was very creepy when you set and compared our lives out on paper. All the same cycle repeating itself over in one giant circle of events in time, just different times in history. The past and present were tied together just like how the spider web was built by one stand leading to another. What was still undecided was how it affected our futures together.
"Odin was a god and he did as he damn well please. He slept with so many woman and fathered so many children. No one knew for certain how many. But Frigg knew the things he did and allowed it to happen. She was just the only woman he couldn't leave alone. Like Gemma with John. John did who he pleased as well. Jax does the…"
"Yeah, I get it, Kyle."
Kyle laid three spider webs down in front of me. None of which I understood with all the names on them and the lines he had drawn in red connecting them up. The one was split perfectly in half with a giant space between the same reflected equal drawn sides. Within each layer of it; John/Gemma, Clay/Gemma, Kyle/Jenny, Jax/Abel's birth mother, Jax/Tara, Kyle/Tara.
"Okay. Why does this one have my name on the web in the middle?"
"Because you have been feeding both me and Jax. When I am at my weakest point; is when you get to me the most. I can almost bet it's the same with Jax. When he is at his weakest point, it's when you have the most control over him. I've changed since I've met you for the better. Which mean you feed my good side. Jax is just getting worse. So, you are feeding his bad side. The good brother and the bad brother."
"No. Gemma is the core of the web. We already talked about it. And why is my name with yours?"
"Gemma was but she stepped down from her throne. You are the new queen and have accepted it now. So, therefore it is you, Tara. You are the one who brought me in to the web with you because no one knew about me before. I didn't exist in their world until I met you and found out I was John's son."
"No, it can't be me, Kyle."
"Who is now the new queen of the club of evil since Gemma stepped down?"
"I guess I am."
"Who feeds off my knowledge constantly like Frigg did Odin? Gemma did the same with John."
"I do."
"Who rarely shares her knowledge with me just like Frigg never did with Odin? I can damn well bet Gemma possess knowledge and secrets John never knew about."
"I really don't have any knowledge to share to be honest." Kyle gave me that look. "Okay, for the sake of argument, I will say its me."
"Who is the fierce mother who protects her young sons no matter what she has to do?"
"Me again when it comes to my boys, Ellie and Kenny."
"Who can bring a man to ecstasy with just her touch just like Frigg?"
"That one, doesn't sound like me at all, Kyle."
"You are so wrong about that one, Tara. Do you know why it's Frigg's biggest questioned power?" I only shrugged my shoulders this time at his question as I had no answer to it. "Because Frigg only held the power over Odin. It's why he was so weak when it came to her. It's probably a lot of the reasons Gemma is like she is today about sex too, so unprohibited with it all. They were taught by the good brother. As it transitions over to please every other man they are with after that. There are times when you touch me, it's an unbelievable experience. Like nothing I've ever experienced before."
"This is just your theory, right Kyle?"
"I have about a hundred ways to test the theory, Tara. None of which I'm sure Jax will like. Take my hands." We joined hands across the table. "Your heart races and palms get sweaty almost immediately when I touch you. Now, tell me you don't feel anything."
"I don't feel anything."
"Then you're lying to me or to yourself. In time, you won't be able to deny it either. You will feel the effects of all this just like I do. You haven't even noticed the changes in yourself already. When I first met you, you were so quiet and reserved. Then it all changed, Tara."
"Are you making this shit up, Kyle?"
"Seriously, you think we both have been to hell and back. I hurt my son by being here and I am fucking miserable all the time. Just so I can get in your panties?"
"No, I guess not. It just doesn't make any sense to me. What happens now, Kyle?"
"The best I can tell it's gets played out until the end. Then the cycle of history will repeat itself with Abel, Thomas or Zac. Now, that he knows he's my son. He is a part of it too because I brought him in it as descents of John Teller. One of them will be the good brother and one of them will be the bad brother. Which one? I have no clue. When their new queen takes over, she will continue to feed the web when you step down. Unless because you did things in a backwards order, it somehow messes it all up. I'm guessing really at best on that part, it will do anything at all."
"How does it get played out until the end?"
"As the prophecy is written; evil sarcomas all. The bad takes over the good so evil can live on. The bad brother kills the good brother and revels in the evil."
"Maybe, Kyle. You should leave Charming so nothing happens to you. I couldn't handle that."
"It's a little too late now, girl. If Jax needs to keep the evil alive in the club by trying to kill me. It won't matter if it's here or in another state. Besides, I can't leave yet."
"Why can't you leave, Kyle?"
He seemed to be searching for the right words at first. Then he dropped his head and wouldn't even look at me. "I can't tell you."
"Why can't you?"
"It's between me and Jax. It's where it needs to stay. I'll see you later, girl." Kyle gave me a kiss on the forehead before he just left me sitting at the table alone. It wasn't like him at all. This was totally out of his character. So, I wasn't going to let him get away with it and I went after him.
"Hey, Kyle. You need to tell me the truth and stop this bullshit. Nero told me you said all those hurtful things to me. So you could protect me. What the hell are you protecting me from?"
"I'm sorry for what I said to you, I really am. I did it to make you stay away from me, Tara. I don't want you to get hurt because of me."
"Hurt from what? Do you want me to stay away from you? Are you scared of what Jax will do? Just tell me something."
"No I am not scared of Jax. No I don't want you to stay away from me. I've gotta do a tattoo. I will see you tomorrow."
Well, Kyle really didn't tell me any damn thing before he drove away. But I knew one person who couldn't resist running her mouth. So, I went to see Gemma. She just couldn't help herself and I knew it.
"What happened between Jax and Kyle while I was locked up?"
"I don't know."
"Bullshit, Gemma. You know because if Nero does, you do. He doesn't keep a damn thing away from you. So let's not play this little game."
"You should thank Kyle for what he did. I love my son with all my heart. But Jackson isn't thinking clearly and hasn't for a while now. I think you've earned a free pass to do as you please. I would take my advice for once, sweetheart."
"A free pass for what?"
Gemma was so coded when she spoke. Just like always when she meant one thing it came out a completely other way than that. "The queen is expected to hold everyone together even when shit is falling apart around her. You cannot be the one to ever fall apart especially in front of Jackson. He will see you as weak and when he does, he will have complete control of you then. It's time Tara for you to stand strong and stay that way now. If you don't like the rules I wrote for the old ladies, then change them."
"What damn rules are you talking about, Gemma? For fucking once, just tell me exactly what the fuck you mean by it." I caught myself afterwards. I was standing in front of her desk yelling at her. I've never yelled at her before. Most of the time she intimated me enough I barley raised my voice to her.
Gemma went over to the file cabinet and threw a black book down in front of me. "Son of a bitch. There are actually goddamn written old lady rules." Hell, no one ever shared them with me until now.
The one I couldn't even start to believe she was in approval of; if the members got their dicks sucked off it wasn't considered cheating on their old ladies. "Seriously? Why would you do this?"
"You still have a lot to learn, sweetheart. I didn't just write those rules, I lived them. Played each one of them out at a damn time. If I hadn't given them something, they would fuck around all the time behind our backs. If it was approved by me or not. This is a compromise with the guys. It's better to know their dicks were only in someone's mouth rather than fifty other pussies. The same rules go for the old ladies too. You can suck someone off or have them go down on you and it's not cheating. There is nothing the guys can say about it either."
Hell, Gemma was a crazy bitch just like I thought for all these years. I stuck the damn book in my purse to finish reading it later on when I had time. "This isn't over. I have to go pick up the kids and I will be back."
"It's over for me, Tara. This is yours now. You change whatever you want to. But just remember the repercussions some of those changes can bring."
Those damn rules ran through my head as I stopped to pick up Ellie and Kenny. They still did as I picked up the boys too. I stopped at a drive thru and bought them all dinner. I hustled it back to TM but she was already gone. "Damn you, Gemma."
The kids and I set outside at the picnic table while they ate their dinner. Except Ellie, she wouldn't eat and eyed each of them as they went past us. I couldn't ask them all to take their leathers off. I already knew they wouldn't do it anyway.
To my complete amazement, it was Tig who reached out to her. At first, she refused to talk or look at him. She had inched her way to me across the bench until she was practically in my lap like Thomas was.
"I have pictures of your mom and dad if you want to see them." She nodded but wasn't going anywhere with him by herself. Tig went in the clubhouse and brought out a box. He told her the story behind each photo he showed her.
The boys were getting tired of sitting and wanted to swing. "I'll just be right over there, honey. Are you okay to sit here with Tig?" Ellie only nodded.
"I'll take care of her, Tara." Tig seemed offended by my comment. It wasn't aimed directly at him; it was the piece of leather on his back that scared the hell out of her.
It wasn't like I couldn't see her from across the parking lot while I was with the boys. Ellie seemed better when she came to show me the picture Tig let her have. It was Opie and Donna with Ellie when she was a toddler. "Go put it in the car so it doesn't get bent, honey."
The kids went on to play in the giant sand box. I set down on the swing to watch them with Thomas.
"Do you care if I hang out with you?"
"No not all, Tig."
We talked about nothing really in general. Thomas went to sleep while we swung. I got up to put him in his carrier when I heard a loud thud. "Oh shit. Are you okay, Tig?"
The swing chain broke from the one he was swing on. "I think I broke my ass." I tried hard not laugh at him just a little.
"Let me see."
"It's okay doc. You don't have to."
"I'm a doctor, just let me see it already." He landed on his lower back and just below his belt line.
"Tara, what the fuck are you doing?"
"We were just swinging and I fell, Jax. Tara offered…"
"I'm not talking to you, asshole. I am talking to my wife."
Jax was seriously pissed off at me and Tig. So much he just walked away before I could say a damn thing. I got the giggles when I shouldn't have obviously because they infected Tig too. We were both laughing while I tried to look down in his pants at his ass.
Every time Jax would turn around and look at us, we would stop laughing. We did a couple of times before the kids decided to play dog pile on top of Tig. Jax just shook his head at us and went inside the clubhouse.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
"This is for you, Tara." Margret handed me a white box with a big red bow tied around it. "Your friend dropped it off this morning and I told him I would make sure you got it."
"Thanks."
Before I went to my office. I grabbed a cup of coffee. I needed something to help me with the lack of sleep. I was back to only doing it when I was exhausted again.
Inside the box laid a card; Happy Birthday, girl. When I took the tissue paper out I found a wind chime with colorful butterflies on it.
It made me smile Kyle remembered my birthday when I had forgotten my own. I flipped the calendar on my desk and sure enough it was today. I called to say thank you. He didn't answer so I left him a message.
It wasn't my only birthday surprise though. As the boys and I got ready to leave I seen Jax parked on his bike smoking. Even Gemma was here with him.
"I'm keeping the boys so you and Jackson can have some time alone. I'll pick up Kenny and Ellie on my way home."
"Take a ride with me?" Jax held out a helmet after he had already climbed on his bike.
"Okay. Let me put my bag in the car."
We were leaving the direction from town. I wasn't certain where Jax intended on taking me to. The smell riding around was of fresh cut grass and at times I got a whiff of various wild flowers too.
The road he turned off on was of one not traveled much anymore. There wasn't much more than a path we drove down until he came to a complete stop. His bike wouldn't go any farther.
"You don't remember this place do you, Tara?"
"No."
Jax took my hand because we had to walk to wherever it was he wanted to go to. When we came across a stream of water, he helped me across it. I stepped on a few rocks when I could and he lifted me over to them the other times.
Once we got up a giant hill he stopped. "Do you remember now?"
"This is where we used to come to when we were kids."
"Yeah it is. It's all grown up around here now. No one ever comes out here anymore." Jax took my gold bracelet out of his leather I had lent to Gemma for her wedding. "This was hanging around the mirror of my Harley. With a note from Gemma to stop being a dumb ass. She's kind of right."
Jax hooked the bracelet clasp around my wrist. I took it off after I left Charming all those years ago. When he gave it to me, he vowed nothing would ever separate us. It was so much easier back then when our future was just hanging out on a Friday night. Now those simple days were gone.
"I know I've broken a lot of promises to you over the years. It was because I was scared, I'm not anymore. Every promise I made, I wanna work on keeping them to you now. Even when you wanna run Tara; I won't let you go or give up on us. I wake up most of the time feeling like you are going to leave me just any day now."
Jax made me freeze in place when he pulled me so tightly to his body. His hands roamed to the familiar places he loved to go with me. While his lips captured mine in a fiercely possessive kiss. It was the first time in years he needed to own his pussy; know it and feel it. He was working hard for it too by every gesture and act of love he did.
There was barely enough time to get my pants off but not my tank top. He already had my bra pushed up under it and his hands moved to cup my breasts. His mouth flicked over my nipple ring a few times before it got sucked in his mouth.
"Are you mine, Tara?"
"Yes. I always have been."
Jax lifted me up by my ass and I felt how hard he was through his jeans when I wrapped my legs around him. His skin rubbing against mine, set me a blaze. We were burning down the bridges that were between us.
"I won't survive if you ever leave me." It was the soft words spoken until he laid me down on the same ground we loved on so many years ago. The grass felt wet and cool on my back as he entered me.
My nails raked down his body as he bent down to give me a kiss. My head went back without hesitation as he sucked on my neck and bit it just as hard as moved inside me.
From my hands and knees, Jax took me from behind. I pressed myself back against him as much as my body allowed. He was as deep inside me as he possibly could be. We loved like we use to in the same spot from so many years ago.
We laid on the ground together. Not really saying much to each other. Until the sun had almost but all disappeared from the sky above us. We watched it set from here a thousand times before.
"Happy Birthday, Tara."
I hope you enjoyed reading me! I will have parts 3 and 4 out by tomorrow. Which will tell you all the rest of it ; )
Thank you for leaving a review. Marking this story as your favorite or alert.