Chapter 26
Brotherhoods
Brotherhood~ A group or organization who have the same interest joined together as one.
PART 4 of 6
I got this posted for my lovely this morning so you would have something to do. I thought about you several times today. I am happy to see a PM you are well. HUGS & LOVE!
My sweet Vera gave me an idea for this part with her song. Smooches my lovely sister!
You guys know the drill. It's late and I will fix errors in the morning...
The blaring trumpet played loudly as though it were right in our ears sounding off. I fumbled around until I found my cellphone to see the time; 4:45 a.m. "What the hell?"
Gemma didn't take it as well as I did. "Shit." She grabbed her head and set straight up in her bed. She lifted the window and screamed out it. "Shut the fuck up already."
"Gemma, it's a recording. Rise and shine ladies. This is our official wakeup call." Nicole bounced out of bed and went to the bathroom.
"Yeah, well. They need to come back around seven and see me then." Gemma went back to bed and covered up her head.
A loud knock on the door came. Since Nicole was disposed and Gemma wouldn't move, I answered it. "Good morning ladies." Pops was all perky for it being so early. He tossed a t-shirt, a hooded sweatshirt and a black pair of shorts on each of our beds. "You've got thirty minutes and I will be back for you."
"Come back at seven. That's more convenient for me." Gemma still wasn't going to get up.
"You're in my world now, Gemma. If you are not dressed when I come back, you will wish you had been. I will not say it again."
"Gemma, I would do it. He isn't kidding."
Nicole gave her advice as she was getting ready to go. I almost had to laugh. For once Gemma got a dose of her own medicine. It wasn't that long ago she did something very similar to Nicole and I.
Gemma and I didn't have any shoes to wear for it. Nicole opened the door and told our new guard what we needed. It wasn't long until he came back with a pairs of plain white leather Nikes in our sizes.
"This is bullshit."
"You can think of it however you need to, Gemma. But you do as I say while you are here." Pops was very adamant about it.
From her sweatshirt pocket, Gemma pulled out a smoke as soon as we reached outside. "No." She rolled her eyes at Pops and put it away back in the pack.
"I will break you yet."
From the smirk on Gemma's face, he had his hands full. "Yeah, I've heard that shit before."
Pops left us setting on the grass while the guys all came out to the field. Once again that damn trumpet sounded off. It was even louder sitting out here. There were speakers playing it everywhere, cranked up with it. "It's 5:45." Nicole seemed to just know the drill.
The second it went off again. The guys were lining up. Some of them had on their sweatshirts like we did while others only wore the t-shirt. "Stand up ladies."
We followed Nicole's lead. It was complete silence while the American flag started rising up the pole. Everyone on base took a moment to honor and embrace it. Once it was flying at full mass. Life returned to their normal.
Pops stood before them all with his hands behind his back. "What do we do?"
"We fight because we believe." When the guys shouted it back to him. I remembered the same saying being chiseled into John's headstone.
"We fight with?"
"Honor."
"Until?"
"Death."
There was something to what they said, it had a specific meaning to it. I couldn't remember the exact entry John had made from it. It was bugging me not knowing what it was. He spoke of his military brothers not the SOA like I originally thought. I would have to pull it out and look later.
"Get down here and count them out with us pussy."
They did a set of ten one armed pushups before they switched to the other arm with a loud whoop they let out in between. Kyle did them too. But he was a lot slower than they were. The rest of them all moved together as one and didn't miss a beat. Without even looking up they just knew what the others were doing. Even when they thought they were done, they got over ruled.
"Did I tell you to stop yet." Pops put his foot in the middle of Kyle's back then leaned his arms on top of his leg. Applying his weight to make it even more of a difficult task to do. "Pick up the pace, Brandon. Your ass is lagging behind."
After watching the vigorous and grueling routine these guys were put through. No wonder they all had such fabulous and muscled up bodies. The moto was a strong sound body made a strong sound mind. But sometimes, that really wasn't the case.
We passed Kyle standing doubled over trying to catch his breath. While the rest of the guys went on to the next thing they had to do.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm in terrible shape."
"You think you are in bad physical condition? I don't even know what the hell that would make me then."
"I am compared to them. They do it every day."
"Brandon, move your ass." Pops was yelling at him once again. Just like he had been all morning to keep up, go faster, try harder and don't stop doing it.
"I gotta go."
We followed Pops into a large building. There was an office area for authorized personnel only. "Stay right here in this spot. Do not move or even think about moving until I return. Is that clear ladies?" Nicole and I both nodded. "Gemma, do you understand?"
"Why are you picking on me for?"
"Because you have a definite listening problem. Do you understand my request of not moving from this spot?"
"I'm not slow. I get what you are saying to me."
Pops was mumbling to himself when he opened the door to go inside the office. Gemma just had that effect on people.
The guys were all wrapped in towels while we walked down the hallway. They definitely kept a scheduled routine all day including when to shower. But, Gemma just couldn't help herself. You could see it coming from a mile away as she eyed each one of them. Her hand grabbed Meat's towel and she took it with her.
Gemma tossed the towel over her shoulder. "Goddamn, what an ass you've got, sweetheart."
It didn't seem to bother Meat at all. He just kept walking with them completely naked. "If you think it's good, Gemma. You should see my front."
"Well, I'm waiting. Don't hold out on me."
Before anything happened farther. We heard Pops behind us clearing his voice. He took the towel and tossed it back to Meat.
"If this comes off again, you and I will spend time rehashing appropriate behavior."
"Yes, Sir." Meat wrapped himself up and gave Gemma a quick wink before he went to catch up with the others.
"I totally see why they call you Meat now." Hell, I think it was a clear statement as to why by seeing him naked. She didn't need even make a comment on it.
"You are starting to get on my nerves. I do not tolerate being defied, Gemma."
"Yeah, I get that a lot. But, I didn't flash him one pretty little smile. You should be proud of me."
"You're the poster child for why no women are allowed past the gate."
"Yeah, I get that shit a lot too."
"You just have to get the last word in don't you?" She only smiled at him with nothing spoken back. Then waited until he walked ahead of us.
"No I don't."
Pops was quick to get past me and Nicole. He stood inches facing Gemma. "You should be glad you are not a man. Or I'd…"
"You'd what? Don't let that shit stop you, sweetheart. I can hold my own with any man."
"Get them out of my sight."
"Yes, Sir."
We got a new guard. I had a feeling we would go through many of them before it was all said and done. He took us to an area where Gemma could have a smoke. Maybe it would calmer her shit down a little. No, not even, who was I kidding.
"Where are we going now?"
"To eat breakfast."
You could have heard a pin drop when we walked in because all noise and conversations subsided then. All eyes were on us and I felt like the last pork chop left on the plater.
"Just keep walking girls." Nicole went around us leading the way to what the hell we were supposed to do here. "Some of them haven't seen a woman in months. All they have is their memories, imagination and a hand. So, don't get them riled up, Gemma." We both knew if anyone could get to them, it was her. I don't think there was a man here from twenty one to older who wouldn't have taken her on by the looks they gave as we passed by.
Once we went through the food line and set down with the guys at their table, it returned to a noisy room full of chatter. Pops was eying Gemma with scrutiny the entire time. He found her to be trouble, imagine that shit. She usually was no matter where she went.
"What? I didn't do anything this time."
"I am going to put you in fatigues and combat boots. Maybe that will help tone it down a little."
"Probably not, Sir. Gemma will look hot in boots too. She's like the hot naughty mommy I never had. I think we should keep her around for a while." Meat thought he was funny. So did the guys. But Pops, not so much.
"Maybe running a few extra miles will take the funny out of you guys."
The other guys didn't like Pops solution to the problem. Those near Meat smacked him on the back of the head. One even threw something at him off their tray. "Asshole, shut up already."
It was exactly what he made them do too. A five mile run was where they went. Pops fired up a jeep. "You three are with me." I didn't care very much for the way he said it either. I felt a punishment coming our way.
Before a giant rock wall, we stood. He hooked a harness around each of our waist. "Getting going ladies."
"What the hell is this supposed to prove?"
"You said and I quote, Gemma. You can hold your own with any man. Are you backing down from it now? Tell me you can't do it and this stops here."
"You know I'll never do that shit."
"Then start climbing and prove it."
"What about you? Are you gonna do it too?" Gemma put her hand on her hip and she wouldn't back down from him. Which, she was taking Nicole and I right along with her on this one.
Pops didn't even wear a harness. He was half way up the giant wall before we even began. I had a hard time even getting my footing on this tiny rocks that stuck out from it. My legs just didn't part and move that way.
"I'll see you at the bottom, Gemma." Pops taunted her when he reached the top of it and was on his way back down.
"Asshole."
"Ladies, what is taking so long?" He was having a good laugh at our expense.
Nicole had gotten farther than any of us. My foot slipped off when I reached for the next rock. I grabbed for another rock to hold on to but I couldn't any longer. The harness stopped my fall by banging me off the wall. It made my side burn where I hit.
"You're done, Tara." Pops helped me down by lowering me on the harness with the rope. I was never so happy to see the ground. I unzipped my sweatshirt and shed it. I was hot as hell after doing it.
Nicole huffed and puffed her way to the top. "Free fall down." I didn't know what he meant but she did. She planted her feet against the wall and pushed off from it. It didn't take her long to get down that way.
"Are you ready to give up yet, Gemma?"
"Fuck you."
"Okay. We will do this your way then."
It took her forever but she did it. She didn't have as good of luck coming down like Nicole did. He had to help her out of the tangled up rope.
The next exercise was shooting. We were each standing before a table with a gun and safety head gear laying on it. With a large silhouette target out from us.
Gemma aced it with him. Pops didn't seem surprised at all she did. Nicole went after her. She wasn't a bad shot just not hitting the target like he thought she should. So, she had to do it all over again. Then came me. I couldn't hit shit. When the gun was empty he tossed down a box of bullets.
"It won't reload itself."
"I don't know how to do it."
"Then, it's time you learned, Tara. I'm not Kyle and I will not baby you. Do you think the enemy will ask if you know how to before they shoot and kill you? No, they don't. Get to it."
There was always one remedial student in a group. It was obviously me. Because I was the same when we moved to hand combat as he called it. I had no instinct to be mean or fight back. Hell, I couldn't even keep up with Nicole and Gemma.
At least the next place we went to. It wasn't us Pops was after to do it. It was the obstacle course each Marine had to complete within a certain amount of time allowed.
"Nicole and Tara, you get to sit this one out. You're up Gemma."
She truly was a tough old bitch that never gave up. Almost as tough as the man she went up against today. She didn't give up either until it came to the muddy low crawl under barbwire. If her hair hadn't got tangled up in it. I don't think she would have then either.
"Are you ready to call it a truce with me?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
We were about as muddy as Gemma once we got her freed from underneath it. Pops pulled her pack of smokes out of the sweatshirt she tossed up on the hood of the jeep.
"Can I bum one?"
"Yeah."
Before he lit his up, he lit Gemma's up with her lighter. They came to mutual respect with one another. Maybe not a friendship or complete understanding. But it was the lesson I thought we were to get from it all.
"What the hell happened to you three?"
"Don't ask."
It was what all the guys asked when we came back. It was our response to the same question too. All but Kyle. He had a different type to ask us.
"Which one of you pissed him off?"
We pointed to the culprit as we made our way past them to our room. He only laughed and didn't comment back.
After we got cleaned up it was dinner time. Our guard was taking us to eat. I was personally too damn tired to chew even. My side ached from the huge bruise it left behind.
Kyle must not have been in the mood to eat either. He had his huge book in his hands propped up against a tree reading it. But when I saw the other thing he had. I wanted to know why he had Julia's stuff out with it.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Ma'am you need to stay with us. I have a direct order to make sure you do."
"It's okay. I'll stay with Tara while you eat." He seemed reluctant but finally went on with Gemma and Nicole.
He went back to reading his book after they left. "Do you want me to go, Kyle?"
"No, I don't."
"For someone who is leaving and doesn't have any interest in this anymore. You are putting a lot of effort in it."
"I still have to know what the truth really is. They are connected just like we are, Tara."
"What?"
"I don't remember when I was a kid about the crows like my mom spoke about in her book. Honestly, they didn't come to me until I met you. I've always had a fascination with them. But, it was you who brought it out. Everything, evolves around you, Tara. All of it does. I didn't really get that part until now."
"That doesn't make any sense to me."
"I can't tell you. If I do, it can possibly change the outcome of it. Read this again. Don't read the words on the page. Feel my mother's emotions. Then I think you will understand it better. All of her words are not just about John. It is believed whenever a large flock of crows are seen in flight. The looker is being watch over by the goddess, Morrigan."
While Kyle read his book. I started at the beginning of Julia's again. I was so tired from the day, I yawned a few times. I rubbed my side too because it continued to hurt.
He stretched out on the ground and I accepted him as a pillow for my head to lay down on. Even though he never extended me an invitation to do so. If I stayed like this for long, I would be out like a light.
Kyle laughed when he answered his cell. "Yes, Tara is with me. Do you want to talk to her?" At first I froze because I instantly thought it was someone else. I left my phone in the room. "It's Ellie." As he handed it to me.
"Hey, honey. How are you and the boys? What did you do today?"
They all went swimming at the pool. Then played at the park. It wore Thomas out because went to sleep early. Kenny was watching television. She was waiting for the cake she baked with Kyle's aunt to cool so she could frost it.
"It sounds like you had a fun day. Kiss the boys for me."
"Do I have to kiss Kenny?"
"Just kiss Thomas for me then. I love you guys and I will see you soon. Be good." I handed it back to Kyle once Ellie said her goodbye. From her voice I could tell the kids were fine where they were.
"Your abs are rock hard." I shifted my head around trying to get back to a comfortable spot to read again.
"You're not laying on my abs, girl." When I turned my head Kyle started laughing. "You actually looked. I can't believe I got you to do it."
"That just wrong you little shit." It was the most playful he had been in a long time with me. I wanted to play back so I started tickling him.
"Oh, that's how you want to play, Tara." He had me overpowered in seconds. I was on the ground on my back with my arms pinned. "Do you surrender to me?"
"If I said yes?"
"It is the inevitable too. It's just a matter of when you do it."
"I really wish you two would just get it over with and do the nasty already. You are killing the rest of us." They were done eating. As Meat stood over us.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~
Our morning started off just like the day before. The loud trumpet played for us at approximately 4:45 a.m. We didn't even fight it today. Not even Gemma. We put on the clean t-shirt and shorts we were given when we turned in the muddy ones from yesterday.
The guard lead us outside to the same field. We all set on the grass waiting for the guys to come out. But they never did. The same routine at 5:45 and at 6:00 a.m. happened too. We stood as they raised the flag up high.
"Pops said to tell you. He is very proud of you ladies for getting up and out here like you are supposed to. Although, it wasn't necessary today. But since you are up and out of bed already. Let's go get some breakfast." Even the guard found humor in this shit. We could have stayed in bed longer.
The mess hall wasn't as full yet as early as it was. There were only a couple of guys at their table when we set down at it.
"Why are you up so early when you don't have to be?"
"I couldn't sleep. We're leaving at noon. I've already called Jax and gave him the location of where to meet us at and when. You need to be packed and ready to go."
"How are they getting into Mexico?"
"Marcus set it up and is helping them get across the border. I didn't ask how and I don't even want to know."
"Hey, Kyle. We want to go to Mexico too. We should be there when you get the boys." There it was from Gemma. It took her a while to approach it. But it finally came up just like I knew it would.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's no place for the three of you to be. This is not a fun vacation spot we are going to. You're not going."
"Yes, we are. I'd like to see you stop me." Once again Gemma expressed the same thing to him she had Jax.
"Gemma, I promised Nero I would not let anything happen to you. You're wasting your time because you are not going."
"Sure." Was then end of the debate they were having. But I had heard the same type of sure come out of her mouth before. It was nowhere near over with.
It was quiet through the rest of the meal. We went back to the room to shower and pack up our stuff. They did the same thing of touching the fallen brothers wall while we boarded a huge bus this time.
Gemma set with Meat. He was already planning all the ways they could get in trouble on this trip. Nicole and I set together far away from them. Boomer took the seat behind us. He was messing with her and we hadn't even left yet. "You better stop it." He didn't heed her warning as he kept messing up her hair and playing with her ears.
He finally got her attention. Although I don't think it was the kind he actually wanted from her. She was once again smacking the shit out of him. "Damn it woman. Why are you being so hostile for?" No one expected her to break down crying. It became quite quickly.
There was only one person Nicole wanted to be near her. It wasn't me or her brother. She went straight to Gemma. "It's okay, sweetheart." They formed a bond I wasn't aware of until now.
"Nicole, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." Boomer was hurting too. He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. I'd been there and done that shit. I leaned over the seat gave the bill of his cap a friendly smack to get his attention.
"It will be okay. Nicole cares about you. She is just having trouble dealing with things. Give her some time." I finally got a slight smile from him.
The noise level exceeded before when a guy I hadn't seen yet got on the bus. "What the hell? You guys are having a party and didn't invite me?" They all seemed to know him as he was welcomed on by many of them.
"When did you get back?"
"A couple of weeks ago." He took the seat with Kyle in front of me. "Who might you be, honey?"
"Tara."
He was more than leaning over the seat. If he came back any farther he would have been in my lap. He took my hand and kissed the back of it. "It's a pleasure to meet you. It can be an extreme pleasure for the both of us."
"Sit your ass down and leave Tara alone." He got turned around in the seat by Kyle.
"Aw, are you sweet on that little girl, Kyle?"
"Shut up." That was the end of it as Kyle went back to reading his book.
This was going to be another long trip to where ever in the hell we were going now. I put my head against the window and must have drifted off.
"Tara." Nicole woke me to let me know we were taking a rest stop. I had to go to the restroom anyway and I wanted something to drink.
As soon as I did my business I got back on the bus and read more of Julia's book.
When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears as fate.
We are spinning our own fates. Good or evil never to be undone.
"Never to be undone. Son of a bitch…." I went and set right beside him. "Ha, you're not as sly as you thought, you little shit. I figured it out on my own."
"What did you figure out, Tara?"
It reminded me of Abel when he got something right. I boasted a little while I beamed spitting out those words out to Kyle.
"Okay."
"That's all you got to say is okay?"
"Good job. But that's not it, girl."
"Damn it." Again, I reminded myself of my son. I might have pouted just a little while I went back to my own seat. Because obviously I was wrong about it.
"What does love mean to you?" Kyle turned around to talk to me. This was a first on this trip. Him approaching me.
"I know it must be a choice you make. If you're going to make it work out with the person you love."
"Oh my sweet Tara. Love is rarely a choice. Not the best kind anyway."
"Is Kyle bothering you?" The guy before returned to set in front of me. "Here, I got all the ladies a package." He handed me a packet of Pop Rocks.
"No thanks. I don't really eat much candy."
"Don't you know what these are for, honey?"
"What?"
He basically told Kyle if he didn't show me, the guy would. Kyle's argument back was I was too sweet for it, blah, blah, blah. It irritated me I was once again not included in anyone's conversation they had about me.
"Kyle, will you just show me already damn it."
"Okay, I will."
Kyle shook some from the packet into his mouth. Came back to set by me and pressed his tongue against mine. He held his mouth to me until the popping sensation had stopped going off in our mouths. He then went to my ear said it softly. "Imagine those on your clit popping while it gets licked." I got a little lick to the ear too before he moved back to his seat.
"Tara. Are you okay, girlfriend?" Nicole waved her hand in front of my face when I didn't answer her.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Are you doing okay back there, Tara?"
"I'm fine, Kyle. But your time will come too." He laughed at me and went back to reading his book. I don't think he took me seriously. So, I went back to reading as well.
For the hours we drove while I tried to tie the pieces together. The puzzle had gotten so huge; I wasn't sure what I had missed anymore. Then I found another one of her entries. After I read it twice. I thought of what Kyle had told me.
"Did you read your mother's book? Yeah, I read it. I don't know what to say about it. There is a lot of shit in there I can relate to. It's almost like the past has come around again and we are playing it out the same way. Until their fate takes us down with it too. They say it's what you make of life. I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul."
"We are playing it out the same exact way." I was over the seat swiftly shaking on Kyle's shoulder. "It's because we never change the way it gets played. So, the course of fate never changes."
"It took you long enough. Keep going, Tara. You are getting real close."
"Can't you just tell me the rest of it, Kyle?"
"No. I won't tell you."
"Fuck it." I went back to Julia's book again. Trying to find something else I had missed previously. But I hadn't by the time we stopped.
"Tara is going back to Charming with her husband."
"Husband." His head snapped around to look at me. Then went back to talking with Kyle. "I must have missed a lot of this story, brother."
As we gathered our bags they kept on with their little conversation. "She is going to break your heart, man."
"Yes she will. But it will be damn fun until then."
"I can hear you, you know."
"I know you can, girl. It comes down to what you do about it now."
We all wanted to move around and stretch our legs while Pops went to buy us all hotel rooms for the night. Nicole and Gemma were my roommates. We threw our stuff inside and they went off somewhere together. They asked if I wanted to go but I had reading to do.
As I came to the section I hadn't read before it all fell in place. Well, maybe not all of it. But most of it. I grabbed my room key and purse on my way out the door.
"Hey, which room is Kyle's?"
First I knocked on the door. When he wouldn't answer me, I beat on it. "I'm not going away. So you might as well let me in."
"Tara, what are you doing?" His voice made me turn around to see him standing behind me.
"Oh, I thought you were ignoring me."
Kyle inserted his key in the door. "You can come in if you want to."
He set down on the bed with his food sack in hand. "Do you want some?"
"No thanks. I know you are the past because you are like the good John. The John that could walk the line between good and evil. Who still wanted to do the right thing. I get Ellie is the future of where it will go. I'm the present but I don't understand my role in it. Or what I am supposed to do."
"Okay."
"Stop saying that to me. Will you just tell me damn it?"
"I can't. You have to figure it out on your own, Tara. It won't mean anything to you, if I tell you." Kyle opened the door for me to show me the way out. "When you want me, you know where to find me."
"I'm glad you're taking pleasure in this."
"Not yet baby. But that's coming too." Those were his last words to me before he closed the door.
"Fine, be like Jax and not tell me anything. See if I care."
The door came back open rather swiftly. "Who did you say I was like? Say it again I dare you to."
"Don't make me take extreme measures, Kyle."
"Don't even start with me, Tara."
"You two are obviously feeling the effects of sexual tension. I don't know why you don't do something about it already."
"Shut up, Meat." We both said to him as Kyle slammed his door shut and I went to some damn place around here.
There really weren't many places in this town to go. A few places to eat and a couple of bars. With that, you pretty much seen it all.
It wasn't until I passed around the third or fourth old couple, I even noticed them. They were all dressed up. Some so feeble they held on to the other just to walk. It was an invasion of the blue haired people. They all went in the same direction too.
Curiosity and killing time I guess was why I followed after them to see where they went to. It was a simple lot with a lattice gate all the way around it. It was the honor system of putting fifty cents into a wooden box for a movie. I didn't have any change so I stuck in a dollar bill. While waiting my turn to go inside.
Everyone single one of them were old. Weathered wood benches in a line were the seating. Beautiful flowers were planted along the fence and around the huge projector screen in the front. I've never seen anything like this before. It was their social gathering on a steamy Saturday night. Yet the gentlemen had on suits and ties. The ladies were in dresses and some with adorable matching hats.
When it began playing it was a black and white motion picture flashed on the grey screen. It was a classic film; Casablanca. I heard the name of it a million times but never watched it. Several couples set so close together while they held hands. It was the sweetest thing ever.
"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." That line in the movie made me start blubbering as a diehard romantic. It was a tender bittersweet love story. It was about a man and a woman who were in love, and who sacrificed their love for a higher purpose.
"Here dear."
"Thank you."
The little old woman who could barely move on her own. Handed me a Kleenex as she rested her frail body down on the bench beside me.
"This is my husband's favorite movie. No matter how many times I watch it, it never seems familiar to me. We had our first date right here fifty six years ago."
"How sweet. I can't believe it's still here."
"We bought it after we got married. Never made a penny on the investment other than the joy it brings to others. I come here every Saturday night. Since I lost him, this is where I still feel like he is close by me."
She was ripping my heart out listening to their love story she told me. All the things they did together, the years they spent in love. How lonely she was without him now.
"What does love mean to you? If you don't mind me asking." She probably found it to be an odd question coming from a stranger she just met. But, you know I asked anyway.
"I feel love is when you touch each other's soul in a way no other can ever do. Love has to be trusting along with respectful to the other person. When you have differences you work them out with love in your heart. So many these days don't love for eternity. They only are in love for the moment. When you find a connection of two true hearts. You will know it." The look on my face must have clued her in. "Did I say something wrong?"
"I love my husband. I really do. But I don't trust him anymore. Not that I am more trustworthy than he is really. I've hid things from him and lied to him. It was when it involved our son. I'm not sure I can ever get past it. He is an innocent child and I am always going to protect him."
Her withered and wrinkled hand covered mine. A kind smile was what she brought forward. "We all have to make decisions in this life. If you really love your husband. You will find forgiveness in your heart."
"And if I can't?"
"Then maybe you should ask yourself. What does love mean to you? What can you live with and live without?"
"I feel so much guilt. I don't think I can answer those questions honestly today."
We were the last ones to walk out. She went the opposite direction as I did. After I checked my phone I missed several call. They were looking for me because I had been gone so long off on my own. I called Gemma to let her know I was fine.
On the way back to the hotel. I stopped to get a bottle of Coke. I was thirsty as hell. Then I realized what I still had in my purse. I'd been carrying it around. "I told you not to make me take extreme measures."
They were setting out in chairs in front of our motel room doors. "Chris...I mean Meat. Can you do me a favor?" Once I told him what I actually wanted he had someone else do it for me. Sure it was playing dirty with Kyle. But I did warn him.
As soon as Crazy Love by Van Morrison started blaring he came outside. "You think you can give me your pretty little smile and play me a song. Then it's all good now."
"Maybe not make it all good. But maybe a little better." I took his face in my hands like he had done with me so many times before. "Just breathe with me, boy and let's dance. In a place where we are not supposed to under the stars. When you get older it won't be those times you made a complete ass out of yourself you will regret. It will be those times you wasted by doing it nothing at all. I think that's really close to what you told me."
"I wonder, how Tara knew about it, Nicole?"
She smiled so sweetly at her brother. "A lucky guess."
They all watched us make complete asses out of ourselves but cheered us on to do so anyway. Kyle kept space between us and that was fine with me. I knew he had to. But it didn't mean I had to also. I let go of his hand and put my arms around his neck.
"Really? This is not us keeping our distance from each other, Tara."
"I know. This isn't what I am supposed to do next either. But I am going to do it anyway. I don't want to be an old woman sitting on a bench watching a movie by myself."
"What?"
Kyle didn't stand a chance and he knew it too. Before I had time to think about it, I acted on it. I pushed my tongue against the inside of his mouth. Loving the way his body tensed up as the pressure between us only increased. He moaned, putting his arms around my waist without an inch of space between us now. I could almost believe his heartbeat was my own as his tongue danced with mine. While we kept moving to the music more perfectly than our bodies ever had before.
"I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles. And the heavens open every time she smiles. Take away my trouble, take away my grief. Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief. She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love. She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love."
The song was officially over and I let go of him. "Oh, hell no. That isn't how this dance ends this time, girl."
"I thought you respected the fact I am married and this couldn't ever go there. Kyle, you are the one who keeps telling me this repeatedly."
"I do respect it. It's just right now, I respectfully don't give a shit anymore."
They were all saying things to us as we walked to his room together; that a boy, go claim your woman, it's about damn time, wrap your shit up man, be gentle with him and fuck this is going to be bad when her old man finds out. I ignored it all too.
Kyle stuck the key in the door and Boomer was surprised we were together. Even more surprised by Kyle's demand as he tossed the key on the night stand between the beds.
"Get out."
"Where the hell am I supposed to go for the night?"
"Don't care." Kyle slammed the door in Boomer's face after he shoved him out the door.
"This is bullshit, Kyle. It's bros before…Tara." Poor Boomer he was screaming it through the door. But Kyle had a rebuttal for him.
"You don't want to go there with me. It wasn't brothers before you did my sister."
"Okay, I'll give you that one."
"Maybe I should go Kyle so he can have a place to stay."
"He will be fine. Someone will let him stay with them."
Kyle kept walking me backwards until my back was against the wall and I had nowhere left to go. "I was wrong Tara. I can't just walk away from you. Not yet." The rising of his chest pushed against me with every hard breath he took in and let out.
"Why?"
"Maybe, I like you."
"You like me."
"Maybe, I like you a lot, Tara. I don't care what is right or wrong anymore. I've tried to get you out of my head. It always says; who cares. Then my heart whispers; you do stupid." He lifted me up until my legs were wrapped around him. "If you tell me you don't feel the same way. I will walk away right now and never bring it up again. But if you can't."
Of course, I couldn't force those words to come out of my mouth. It was hell being fucked up. I knew what the right thing to do was. My head told me so. But other body parts were screaming something totally different out to me.
So hard his body was pressed against mine. I felt the ridges of the wall in my back through my shirt. His hands rested on my hips as my arms held on around his neck. The fiery kiss was felt by more than just my lips. He finally let me slide down his body until my feet reached the floor.
Our kisses only deepened and I was dizzy with the fight we had to take over dominance of one another. We moved off the wall in several different places switching whose body was against it as we went. The small table held my weight when I somehow ended up on top of it.
"If you want to stop. Tell me now." Since I didn't. Kyle stuck his hand down in the glass of ice water. The cube went in his mouth halfway sticking out to tease me with it.
The buttons were undone quickly on my shirt. He grazed the cold piece of ice around on my stomach. Then up on top of the flesh of my breast that peeked from my bra. Until the cube was melted. The trail of water it left wasn't wasted. His tongued followed the same path up to my mouth where we kissed some more.
Again we were moving our bodies so quickly around the room I could have gotten completely lost in this small space. His shirt had come off I think after mine did. Hell, I didn't know or really cared at this point.
"After everything has happened. I can't look at this the same. I don't look at us the same way either."
"Look at it this or us the same?"
"A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face when you were gone. A thousand lies have made me colder. And I don't think I can look at this the same. But all the miles that separate us. Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face. I'm here without you. But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby. And I dream about you all the time. When it's all said and done. Everything I know, and anywhere I go. It will just get harder between us but it still won't take away my love. And tonight, girl, its only you and me."
Kyle pulled me by the band of jeans to where he sat on the bed. "It's just you and me here, no one else. I'll burn in hell for it later. When tomorrow comes, I may not get to see you again for a very long time. Stay with me tonight, Tara."
Kyle made me find my wilder side I never knew existed before. I definitely always felt wanton and wickedly sexy with him, I couldn't deny it. Was it part of the connection we have? I wasn't sure. Did I care? Not at this particular moment. With my burning need for his gentle loving touch.
Even with all my fears on the surface and out there. My anger with the world riding high. There was a good chance I was falling victim to lust, the lust of him I carried around.
My hand stroked Kyle's face as his arms went around my waist. They didn't stay around me for long. Neither did my jeans because he undid the button and pushed them down to the floor around my feet.
The position of being on top of man wasn't something I felt I could ever enjoy. It was where I ended up when he took me to the bed with him. He let his hands roam from my back down to my thighs and still wanted to keep kissing as we went.
Kyle whispered it in my ear. It brought a smile to my face but still. "That's not going to happen."
"Never say never, Tara. Every time I do, it comes back to bite me in the ass."
With a couple of alternate kisses from him to my nose to my lips. We both laughed. But it just turned back to the hot heat between us quickly.
"You better tell me no soon, girl. If you don't."
When I said nothing Kyle pushed my hand down to his jeans and left the decision up to me while we still kissed. But, timing was never one of the things we had on our side since we've known each other.
Loud banging came on the door followed by. "I know Tara is in there with you, Kyle because she is not in her room. I caught Nicole and Boomer together. So open the door."
"Fuck, I just can't catch a break."
"If you don't open the door before I count to three. I will kick it in."
"Pops is bluffing right?"
"No, he is not." Kyle gave me one more quick kiss before tossed me my clothes and he went to open the door. "Sorry."
"You in there." Boomer got shoved in the room by Pops. "Tara, let's go."
"I'm really starting to hate you, Boomer."
"Well, I'm sorry, Kyle. It's not my fault you were in here getting your freak on with Tara. I brought tacos, want some?"
"No, I don't want no damn tacos." A loud scrunching noise came followed by a white bag bouncing out in the parking lot.
"That was my dinner damn it." Shortly after all that. Their door slammed shut.
"I swear it's like taking care of children sometimes. Goodnight, Nicole. Tara, I want to talk to you." Nicole told Pops the same and went inside our room.
"I know you probably think I am being hard on Kyle. You distract him and you're going to get him killed. If not by that, by your fucked up biker husband. I'm not preaching to you about what you should or shouldn't do. You are both grown adults. All I am saying is give it a rest until this shit is over. Stay in your room and away from him for the rest of the night, okay?"
"Okay, sorry."
We both witnessed four of his Marines coming back to the hotel with Gemma along with a shit load of liquor bottles in their hands. "Son of a bitch." Maybe Pops was right. He did have a huge babysitting job on his hands tonight.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
Kyle came on the bus after we did. He dropped off a cup of coffee to Gemma on his way back to his seat. He handed one to Nicole and then one to me.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Nicole was in a serious conversation with Gemma from the looks of things. Since they didn't invite me to be a part of it. I stayed in my seat.
Kyle set by me and handed me a small sealed white envelope. "Will you do me a favor and make sure Zac gets this for me?"
"Why can't you give it to him?"
"Just in case. Will you do it?"
"I'll take it. But when you get back you can give it to Zac yourself. While you're here. About last night…"
"I'd like to tell you I am sorry about what happened, Tara. But I'm not. That it's alright even though we both know it isn't. Sometimes doing the wrong thing, is the right thing at the time." He gave me a kiss on the cheek before going back to his seat.
When the bus made the next stop it was time for Gemma, Nicole and myself to leave with Pops. We got our bags and we said our goodbyes.
"This is where you kiss me and tell me goodbye, Tara."
"I'll just say until you come back with the boys."
It was seconds until they were giving him hell. "You should leave Tara's tongue here, Kyle."
We stood with Pops until the bus was on its way to the make the plane to Mexico.
"We have fifteen minutes before we depart. If you want to use the restroom, now is the time to do it."
"Well, you are the boss, sweetheart and in control."
"Good. I'm glad we finally have that established, Gemma." Pops seemed pleased with her comments.
"Sure." There was that damn sure that was so fucking unsure coming out of her again. "Let's go to the bathroom girls."
"I don't have to go."
"Yes you do, Tara." Gemma was on one side of me and Nicole on the other practically dragging me along with them.
"Did you get it?" We no more made inside and shut the door.
Nicole took a blue folded up piece of paper out of her back pocket. "I lifted it off Kyle and he never knew."
"Good job, sweetheart."
"What the hell did you take from Kyle?"
"His orders so we can get on base."
"Why didn't you or Gemma tell me and clue me in on it?"
"I love you, girlfriend. But you don't exactly have a poker face when it comes to Kyle. If we had told you my brother would have known something was going on. I'm sorry I didn't. Do you want to know what we are going to do now?"
After we all climbed up on the back of the toilet and went out the damn window again. They clued me in on the next part of the plan.
"Gemma, we can't steal a car."
"We're not stealing it. We're just borrowing it. If it makes you feel any better, we can bring it back later on." She didn't listen to one word I said as she got behind the wheel. Although, she was having trouble hot wiring it.
"Let me, Gemma." Nicole had it going within a couple of times trying. "I used to do this with the jeeps when I was younger. So I could drive them around the base at night."
It wasn't the only thing stolen. When I obviously wasn't looking or simply not paying attention anyway. They stole uniforms from some damn place to get us on base with.
"Take off all your jewelry and put it in your pocket. Make sure to tuck your hair up under the cap with none of it left out in the back. You will have to wipe off some of your makeup too, Gemma. Or they will know we are frauds."
We pulled up to a Marine airport in a stolen vehicle with fake orders for us. Pretending to be other people. What the hell could possible go wrong?
"Let me handle this."
Nicole was fucking amazing. She definitely could talk the bullshit and had some badge to prove it. She threw around terms such as; the gate of departure and plane number, a general's name, don't question her authority, some code to get inside here and I think she made herself an officer. If I wasn't mistaken. I kept waiting for them to pull us all out of the car and handcuff our asses. But, when the gate rose up for us to pass through it. I let out a little relief from not getting caught.
The plan was to stow away. They would never know we were on the plane until it landed. By then, it would be too late for them to do anything about it. It was actually pretty easy. They were in some bullshit debriefing when we snuck on and went to the back where all their bag was stored.
The take off wasn't the smoothest on this small cargo plane as I would have like for it to be. I kept clutching on to the small piece of carpet we set on. I took deep breaths because my fear of heights wasn't any better while being up in the air.
"Oh shit." One of the guys came back to what Nicole referred to as the hole to get something. Since we were discovered. I thought our plan of getting to Mexico was foiled and they would make us go back now.
"Kyle, man you gotta see this shit."
"Why? Why?" Each time Kyle said it, he only got louder. "Why didn't you listen to me, Tara?"
"Because Abel is my son and I will not be left behind. I can take whatever the hell comes with it."
"Oh really." He was literally dragging me by the hand behind him across the plane. When he opened the side door I panicked and freaked out. "Look, do you see how far down it is to reach land. The plane doesn't make another stop until Cuba. Do you really wanna go there illegally? Trust me, you don't."
Kyle threw three huge packs at Gemma, Nicole and myself. "Suit up baby, you're in it now. There is only one way off this plane. You gotta jump, girl."
As the three of us were putting on the camo jumpsuits they gave us. I made a very good observation. "Maybe, we should have thought this shit through a little better, Gemma."
"Maybe."
I hope you enjoyed reading me!
I'll try to get the other parts out soon. Our outlaw women are just beginning their dangerous and outlandish journey to get the boys back.
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