Chapter 27
Brotherhoods
Brotherhood~ A group or organization who have the same interest joined together as one.
There will be seven parts to this instead of only six because it's gotten to be so long. I am editing PART 6 today and will post it later on this evening. So, keep in mind until I get it all posted some of it might not make total sense yet.
My lovely Laura had a sweet song for this story. It really fits it well. I enjoy you all giving them to me. Smooches to you babe! I also worked in the picture you sent me. It's funny, you know it is.
PART 5 of 7
"No, we can't just land for a few minutes so you can get off. We are here illegally in this country. If we get caught, we all get put in a Mexican prison and forgotten about. They are putting their asses and careers on the line to help get the boys back. So, you will jump."
"It was just a suggestion."
Gemma played it off because Kyle was pissed we were here. As they gathered and hooked on to the line extended to their parachute packs. She was getting as nervous as I was about it. Even though she wouldn't admit it. It was considered her strength but often the unspoken was a weakness as well.
"Think of it as bend over baby and let me drive. I need you to relax your body against me. Enjoy the ride down. But let me control all the movements and the fall. I've done this a hundred times with my wife. So, don't worry." Meat was hooking all kinds of things from him up to Gemma. She was going with him.
"I get you Nicole. I know you've done this before." She did have the advantage over us. With Cody's dad she had done it once. She didn't like it much but she knew what to expect at least.
"I'm going to try not to kill us, break our necks or any other important body parts. I've never done it with another person before. Tie your hair up, here is your helmet and put theses goggles on."
Kyle wasn't gentle when he was strapping me to him either. What held us together was tight and binding. One of the other guys' double checked each one of us girls to make sure all harnesses were intact and properly secured. When he hooked up to the line I started to panic. It was getting closer to being our turn.
The giant gaping hole was sucking the wind in and out of me with every breath I took as everyone went through the door. It taunted me only four more and it would be our turn. "I can't do it." The shaking only progressed too worse with each step forward I took. As I tried to find the floor of the plane to sit down on before I passed out. I took him with me. All the harnesses was yanking on him and he finally took control because I was certain he had enough. Hell, I had enough of this already myself.
"You are doing this if I have to throw your little ass off this plane." Kyle wrapped his arms around my waist. My feet could no longer touch the floor. He squeezed me to him until I couldn't move other than the squirming around I was doing. The struggle to break free but I was going if I liked it or not.
"You two have the strangest ritual of foreplay I've ever seen." Pop rocks daddy, since I didn't know his name, kept talking about other shit I couldn't even comprehend. Probably because my begging and pleading to just let me go to Cuba came out very loudly.
"Let go already." Kyle was prying my fingers off the sliding door I was holding on to it. He might have made my grip loosen up. But I had feet too. I planted them firmly on the door and I wasn't budging. I still lost the fight though.
At the high altitude the instant we exited the plane my goggles fogged up with colder patch of air we hit. I couldn't see anything. It didn't stop me from screaming my head off though. It felt like a windstorm in my mouth and my lips vibrated as we were plunging rapidly in the atmosphere towards the hard dirt of the earth.
The plane was flying farther away from us and it was a cold hard shock to the heart. Our tandem session of joining in the sky together spiraled us downward as the accelerated rate only increased. Until we plateaued out and I felt as though I were merely floating hundreds of feet high in the air.
Suspended in time and space, caught in just that moment. Hanging on to the balance of life with it in someone else's control other than my own. Most of my life had been in reality. More than I would ever openly admit to.
Everything appeared as tiny ants on earth below us from what I seen. We would easily smash them if we landed on top of them. We did truly see what was only in our sight and not what was there before our eyes in many ways. I braced myself for what was coming, what would be the outcome and what would be the ending of it.
With my head back and arms out as far as they could stretch. I was falling; flying as free as the crows were. I no longer felt compromised to the overpowering I experienced throughout my life. If this were the destiny I would receive, I would no longer resist it.
Just when my body relaxed enough to accept the fate in store for me. What I had earned in this life. I got another jolt to my system. We were jerked back up from the falling state we were in when the parachute opened up. This would be a more controlled fall now. More of a precise spot to crash land at. More of a destined ending than I expected.
"That was the shittiest landing I've ever seen, brother."
"Get us out of here. Are you okay?" I only slightly nodded to his question. My throat felt raw from screaming where the wind made it almost burn.
It wasn't as if we could move around much wrapped up like mummies in this crap. They had to cut us out of the parachute and harness because we became so tangled up. From tumbling around on the ground we were rolled up in it and couldn't get out. The tangled web had caught their prey and it wouldn't release us. No matter how much we struggled to break free from it.
When they got it off from around my body I was crawling out on my hands and knees to get away from it all. "You are killing me Tara. Slowly but surely." Kyle was out now and not very happy at the moment. "You just had to fight me on the way down didn't you? As hard as we hit the ground, we are lucky we didn't break something."
Every single cellphone around me started dinging, chiming and ringing as the guys turned them back on. They were checking their messages and I still hadn't made it to my feet yet.
"Pops is pissed. I elect you to call him back Kyle."
"Second it."
"I third it. You better call him."
The conversation went about as expected. At least from what I could hear on my end. "I didn't know they were on the plane. What else am I supposed to do with them? I will deal with Jax when he gets here."
Kyle handed the phone to Gemma. Of course she was a little on the reluctant side to take it. But she did. "Hello." That was the extent of the conversation too when she hung up. "Must be bad reception out here."
"You can tell Pops that when he gets here. He's pissed off enough to come to Mexico just so he can yell at you Gemma."
"Pops just likes to pick on me. I don't know what his problem is." Both Nicole and I eyed her when she said it. Was Gemma truly clueless or just in denial.
"What are we going to with them, Kyle?"
"We stay near here just like we planned until Jax and the club gets across the border. We'll find a place until then."
When the hell I missed a heavy wooden crate being tossed from the plane with its own landing gear on, I wasn't sure. All their stuff and our bags were inside of it. Once they got everything out of it. It was stuffed again with the parachutes and put in the nearby trees out of sight.
Each of the guys had several bags to carry with them. I grabbed mine only for Kyle to take it too. The others took Gemma and Nicole's with them. We followed after them with no idea where in the hell we were going or what would come out of this trip.
There was one thing for certain I knew. Jax would be here soon and I would have to face him eventually with everything I'd done. I was positive he wouldn't be happy to see the three of us either.
The longer we walked, the hotter the sun beamed down on us. The air was dryer than I was used to and the humidity was high. It was mostly sand or dirt. You found a few wooded areas which shaded very few spots of green land.
My skin was already feeling the effects of the environment around us. But we girls continued on this journey without a word said about it or a complaint made. It was Gemma who had the hardest time. It was taking a toll on her the worst.
They stopped so we could rest because they didn't need it after we walked for a couple of hours or more. Now I completely understood why they were put through those grueling exercises they done. It was so they could push their bodies to continue on when they were given an assignment. This was an assignment of love for children, our children.
"I'm fine now." Gemma drank water from the canteen one of them gave her. She really wasn't fine but insisted she was capable to keep going. Another one of her strengths; dying on the inside but projecting sunshine and rainbows on the outside.
We didn't go but a little longer until we stopped again. "These are your accommodations for the night ladies. Find a spot."
"I don't care what Kyle says. You girls make everything more fun." Meat was on our side. Or well, Gemma's anyway. It didn't seem to bother him at all we tagged along.
Gemma was all smiles when she found a log to park it on. The first thing she did was lit up a smoke. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. John would have loved today."
"Why would John liked it so much?"
"It's what he used to do. He was in the airborne division and he told me a lot of stories of jumping out of a plane in the middle of enemy gunfire. From what he said it was amazing they made it out alive. His belief was he had a guardian angel with him the whole time looking out for him. They went into the war boys and came out men. It was when he discovered his love for guns. His squad was the fire team. I thought about him when I was up in the sky and Nero the closer we got to land."
Gemma finished her smoke and pushed the cigarette hard against the log to put it out. Before I could ask her anything else she went on to where the guys had gathered. She defiantly never had a problem finding where the men were.
"Are you okay, girlfriend? You have a bad sunburn. Your skin is bright pink."
With my light complexion I never fared well in the sun. When I pulled the strap on my tank top away from my shoulder, I had a white spot where it rested.
"I have some lotion if you want it. I notice you are keeping your distance from Kyle. So am I until the little vein in his forehead stops sticking out. It's how you know he is really pissed off. But don't worry he won't yell or take it out on you. Sleeping with him; I'd say your safe, Tara."
"We haven't."
"You mean you and Kyle didn't…"
"No."
"Not even once?"
"No."
"Then what the hell have you been doing all this time?"
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."
Nicole just gave me a weird look before she joined Gemma with the guys. But she did stay away from her brother, far away. We sort of put him in a bad position by coming.
For the most part I tried to stay far away from everyone and just watched them all. The guys had a definitely routine in place as they set up a little camp site for us. I guess when you do it all the time it becomes a normal for you.
The great outdoors was never personally my thing or something I enjoyed much. They all managed just fine with it, including Gemma and Nicole as they helped out. Their bond only grew stronger as time went on too. For hours they never left each other's sides.
"Why are you just sitting here, sweetheart?"
"I'm just trying to stay out of the way. I'm not as outgoing as you and Nicole are."
"Nicole will make one hell of an old lady. She will be a help to you once you take back over as queen and I'm gone."
"Kyle is taking her and Cody out of Charming. She won't be around long enough to become anybody's old lady."
"That shit will not happen. Kyle is not going anywhere."
"He has to Gemma. Jax will kill him if he stays. No one will change Kyle's mind because he needs to protect his family."
"Obviously, you underestimate my power of persuasion."
Which, obviously I had underestimated Gemma. She went straight to Kyle and probably repeated everything I just said. I don't know what all she went on about but it was a lot. She lifted his face by his chin to make sure she had his complete attention. After she finished whatever spiel she gave him. Came the kiss on the cheek from her, the kiss of death sometimes. As I like to refer to it.
Kyle had the same shocked and confused look on his face when Gemma was done as I always did. He shook off whatever she told him and went back to what he was doing prior to her interrupting.
"Tara, come help us."
We gathered up fire wood like they told us to do. They used it at night to see by and keep the animals away. I truly hoped the animal part was to put a little scare into us and not a real problem.
Gemma was just about ready to put her hands down in the water to splash on her face. The heat was brutal on her. When one of the guys stopped her. "Do not get in the water around here or drink it unless we say it's safe from contamination."
"Okay."
The comfort of turning on a tap for a glass of water was not a reality out here. The harsh facts of the territory were, they had a lot of run off from filth and it ruined the water supply in many areas. Even the crops had been infected with the plague because of it.
We sat quietly and watched as he stuck a silver rod down in the water. Turned on a machine and waited for the readout it gave. It was fascinating what they did know about though. Each of them had several areas of expertise.
"The water is alright. I'll take a couple of buckets of it to boil for drinking from where it comes in at. This might be the only chance you get to bathe for days. I'd do it before the sun goes down and it gets cool out here."
We gathered up our toiletries and stuff to go back down to the water hole we found. The idea of not having a shower for days did not thrill me any. Just from the short period of time we had been here my clothes were already soaked with perspiration.
"Here." Kyle handed me his towel and it was the extent of our conversation. Gemma and Nicole got one from the guys too. They came prepared for everything like boy scouts. Us, not so much.
"Come on perverts and give them some privacy."
"You wouldn't say that shit Kyle if it wasn't your sister and your woman. I don't see why we can't at least watch…"
"Go."
Gemma nor Nicole was shy about stripping off their clothes and they jumped in. "What the hell." I followed after them sort of like I had been following behind them this entire trip so far anyway.
The water felt good on my hot skin. I was certain to blister and peel with my sunburn. I did my business and got out. I wrapped up in the towel and sat on a rock while I watched them splash around and have fun.
While I waited on them to be done. I brushed out my hair and put the lotion on Nicole left for me. Only it didn't take them long to get out of the water when we heard them coming back. I hadn't even got my clothes on yet. Gemma and Nicole just got on their towels barley in enough time. When they came down the hill on the dirt path.
"Gemma, don't hold out on me hot mama." Meat turned the tables on her. Hell, she never batted an eye to it either. Before him she stood and opened her towel for his viewing pleasure. "Damn. I'm sure we need to keep you around now."
"Nicole, you gotta pay the toll to pass through honey." Pops rocks daddy was in rare form today. He stuck his leg across the narrow dirt path to a tree. He was playing as the get through on a free pass bridge now.
"The hell I do. Get out of my way dick." She punched him in the thigh and he dropped his leg down to let her pass by without another word spoken about it.
"It's your turn, Tara. Show us your goodies honey." He repeated the same actions with me.
"I really don't have anything to show like they do."
"Sure you do honey and we want to see it." I didn't have to say anything to him because he dropped his arm quickly from around me before I did. "Or not is okay too." When I looked up, at the top of the long hill stood the reason why, Kyle. "I'm just playing with Tara."
"Uh huh. I'm walking the girls back." We followed after Kyle because he wasn't going to leave us alone with them. "I couldn't keep the guys away from there. They are like a pack of dogs in heat around you girls."
"Speaking of being in heat. What is taking you so long to close the deal with Tara? Have you lost your sexual touch, Kyle? You didn't seem to have this much of a problem getting a woman when we were younger." I wanted to shove something in Nicole's mouth when she said it to her brother. It came out of nowhere from her.
Kyle of course knew where she got her information from. As he stopped in front of me with his arms crossed. I looked at the sky then down at the ground to my nails next. Pretty much anywhere I didn't have to look at him directly.
"Wait a minute. You mean to tell me, you two haven't fucked yet."
"Sure Gemma, that's what I want to talk about with the mother of Tara's husband. If we have fucked or not."
Gemma was in the glorious mother mode she was so fucked up with displaying. She took Kyle's arm and was holding on to him tightly to her so he couldn't get away. She was giving him some wonderful advice like she had me in the past. "It's okay, sweetheart. If you are sexually challenged, we can get you some books or videos to help out. I'll have Nero give you the talk if you want."
"Yeah, Kyle. We can get you the book; Fucking for Dummies. They pretty much have one for everything now." Nicole thought she was funny at first. Now, not so much. He was towering over his sister this time. "I'm just saying."
"Will you girls please stop talking to me? You are killing me." Hell, I was as red as he was. He couldn't take long enough strides from us as rapidly as he walked a head.
"Kyle, is there a place I can plug in my blow dryer?"
"Do you see one?"
"What about this thingy?"
"The power pack is for charging radios and cellphones. Sure, Nicole. We just won't communicate with each other so you can look good."
"You don't have to be an ass about it."
"And the three of you shouldn't even be here."
With our clothes in hand we went in the small tree area from the camp to change into some clean ones. I kept looking around waiting for one of them to jump out at us. But not Nicole and Gemma. They leisurely gabbed while they got dressed.
Once we finished, we hung up the wet towels on tree branches so they could dry. We found our log we three girls called our spot and set down together.
"I do not want to hear that shit. She is my sister. Get the fuck away from me." Kyle had enough of the razzing pop rocks daddy was giving him. He said it loudly enough even we girls started paying attention to their conversation.
"Nicole is not my sister. How about Tara or Gemma then?"
"I don't want to hear anything about them either."
"Are you talking shit about us? Why don't you be man enough to get your ass over here and say it." Gemma was never the shy one. She always made her presences very well known during the good and bad times.
The moves of pop rocks daddy were very smooth. He kissed the back of Gemma's hand and gave her several compliments. I lost track of how many times he tried to seduce each of us today.
"You girls are Charlie's Angels; the sexy sultry provocative brunette, the busty bubbly voluptuous blonde and the sweet seductive sensual raven haired beauty. They like to defy authority and do things their way. We'll start calling them Kyle's Angels." The guys all laughed and agreed to our new names. Except one, he wasn't finding it funny at all. Really he wasn't about us being here either.
"We're still not gonna give you any, sweetheart."
"Damn, it was worth a shot."
After he got the silliness out he set down by us and had a normal conversation. Or I guess as normal as he could be anyway.
"I am staying over here. Kyle is still a little upset we came on this trip."
"He is just wound too tight; he's been this way since I've known him. He will get over it and he can't stay mad at you. You saved Kyle. Don't let him play as such a hard ass; he is an ole softy on the inside. You actually saved me too. I should be thanking you, Tara."
"What are you talking about?" This guy was more confusing than even Gemma when he spoke. At least I understood part of what she said to me at times.
"He is just running his mouth about nothing like usual. Are you ready to go shoot now?" Kyle joined in our conversation. Although I was really curious to hear what the other one had to say on matter.
"You read and believe in all that gay shit. About witches, potions and frogs. Yet you don't tell Tara the life changing miracle she did."
"It's mythology, gods and crows dumb ass. It is just a coincidence it doesn't mean anything."
"If it doesn't mean anything. Why didn't you tell her? Huh, Kyle?"
"That's my question too. Why doesn't anybody tell me anything? It's as if I don't even exist in your eyes. Everybody knows everything that concerns me but me." My frustration was showing through. It wasn't with just what was going on now. It was everything happening in my life. The things I seemed to longer have any control over because everyone else decided for me.
"I'll tell you anything you want to know honey for a kiss. You know once she kisses me, Kyle. Tara won't want anything to do with you anymore."
"I'm going to go shoot and sight in my gun." Kyle wasn't going to comment back to him or tell me anything either. He left us sitting here talking to ourselves.
"Come on, Tara. You can go with us so I can torture Kyle some more."
They all truly seemed to enjoy giving Kyle a hard time. Even when I said I shouldn't go, he looped his arm with mine and I was going anyway.
All I could do was watch them. I really didn't understand anything they were talking about. They laid on the ground and both of their hats immediately were turned around backwards. Almost simultaneously in fact.
He looked through something and gave Kyle a set of numbers. I covered by ears but the shots were silent. They didn't let out anything but a slight clicking noise. With the naked eye as far away as it was, I couldn't even see what the hell he was shooting at.
"Kyle, I'm starting to think you couldn't hit a five hundred pound pussy with a big red mark on it. Your range is only four hundred and sixty yards at best. You're pulling to the left to much."
"Give it to me again."
"Aw, is your little girlfriend distracting you, Kyle?" It was when he looked over his shoulder and gave me a wink when he said it. The cocky smile. They had the same large body frame. Their facial profiles when I took a long hard look at both of them side by side was uncanny.
"Shut up and give it to me again."
"What are you even shooting at?" The longer I watched the less my eyes could focus on anything.
"Come down here and lay beside me. I will show you how I use it. In fact, I use it much better than Kyle ever thought about." I didn't move an inch from the spot I was standing in. "I don't bite not unless you want me to, honey." I only smiled but still didn't move a muscle. "You really need to learn how to take a joke, Tara. If you're going to hang out with us."
He let me look through the range finder. I didn't realize the distance the bullet was traveling. Five hundred yards was equivalent to almost a third of mile. It's how they surprised the enemy. They waited it out to the perfect moment to attack. No one ever seen them coming because they were so far away and completely out of sight.
"I'm done. Mine is sighted in. Are you going to do yours?"
It was sort of fun to watch them do this. Kyle gave him a bunch of numbers now. He hit is target fast too. "That's why I'm the best at this Kyle."
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. I'm going back."
"Are you going to leave me out here alone with your little girlfriend? You know Tara won't be able to resist my charm." This guy was something else. So full of himself. He was very confident I would give him. He reached over and placed his hand on my leg. I slapped his hand a couple of times before he took the hint and moved it away.
"It's not me you have to worry about. She has a husband, remember? Besides, I don't think Tara finds you that charming. If she hadn't got you to move your hand, I would have."
The three of us walked back together. Kyle went on to do something else. But the other one, he kept following me around. He really was like a dog in heat. If he kept it up I would need a rolled newspaper to smack him on the nose with like one too.
"You are driving me crazy."
"I like my women a little on the crazy side. Sleep with one eye open sort of crazy. Steals your wallet kinda crazy. I'm not too much into those crazy bitches that likes to super glue your dick or anything. Although I have dated them too."
"Has anyone ever told you, you and Kyle look a lot a like? Except you have dark hair."
"We used to hear it a lot when we were kids. Our mothers are second cousins or some shit. Kyle has always been the smart one and I'm the fun charming one."
"How old are you?"
"I'm thirty five, why?"
"I never caught what your name is."
"Thomas."
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
"David, what are you doing?"
"I'm making these for tomorrow. Do you want to help me? Cut this into eight inch strips."
Boomer tossed me a roll of duct tape and laid his knife at my feet. Since I had nothing better to do. I cut up the tape until it was gone. I even wrapped up the stuff like he did with it.
"What is this?"
"Explosives."
"Oh shit." As gently as I could be, I laid it down on the ground.
"Don't worry. You can't get hurt. They aren't live yet. I'll wait until in the morning. Right now they are just fun little go bot trucks to play with. Let's make sure they work."
We were racing them out in the sand. It was fun. I couldn't keep mine going as fast as he did his. After we tried out about ten of them we were finally done.
"How are things going with you and Nicole?"
"She will say a few words to me now and is no longer smacking the crap out of me. So, hell she is warming up to me again."
"Hang in there, Boomer. She will come around."
"The same for you. Kyle does care about you."
"How do you know for sure? I've stayed away from him. The vein in his forehead still is visually protruding."
"The way Kyle looks at you. Like you are always the only woman around him in the world or at least his world. Enough about them. Let's go play with our trucks some more."
At one point we had several of them going at the same time. Some even got stuck in the sand. My fun quickly turned to other emotions. Abel and Cody would love this. They would be out here wanting to race them and making all kinds of noise while they did it. How I missed all the noise my son made. It was the empty silence of a mother's son that would kill you on the inside.
"Are you okay?"
"I miss Abel and all my children."
"Come tomorrow, you will have your son back."
"I really hope so."
The more I thought of my son and what awful things he was experiencing. The more I wanted to breakdown. But I would not do that. I would stay strong until he was in my arms again. Then I would be completely melted from it.
"You have been playing with the same stick in the fire for an hour. Put this on it." Meat gave me a marshmallow to roast. He took some with him everywhere they went to. It had been such a long time since I had one so I stuck it in the fire.
"Thank you." I hadn't really paid much to him before but on his arm was the name; Beth. "Is that your wife's name? I met her when Kyle took me to Popp's house. But I don't think she ever told me what it is."
"Elizabeth is my little girl. She is seven and from my first marriage. My wife raises my daughter just like her own child. I don't know what I'd do without my wife. I bet her she wouldn't jump out of an airplane with me the first day I met her and she did. She just had to prove me wrong. I knew I was going to marry that girl right then."
"That's a sweet story. A little scary, but still sweet."
We talked over marshmallows. Meat really didn't seem like the marrying kind. He was on his third marriage now. They found him to be a flirt and I wasn't really shocked by it. His hormone level only matched one other person I knew, Gemma.
"I am no different around my wife than I am when I'm away from her. I'm the biggest flirt in the world but it doesn't mean I would do anything."
"She doesn't get mad about it?"
"I didn't say that. She gets so mad sometimes she won't talk to me for days. But she loves me no matter what. I learned the hard way if they really love you, they accept you as you are. If they don't, it will never work."
Kyle handed me and Meat a brown sealed pouch. He had been passing them around to the others too.
"What is it?"
"Dinner."
"I'll catch you later, Tara." Meat gave me a handful of marshmallows before he left. He was truly a nice guy but you had to get past all the things that came out of his mouth. Again, sort of like Gemma.
"Kyle, I know you're still mad at me."
"I'm not mad but you shouldn't be here."
It was all I could get him to say. So, I opened my dinner to see what I got. There was canned chicken with mayo and crackers. It even had a tiny wooden spatula for spreading it. A granola bar, a juice box, a tea bag and a piece of caffeinated gum.
"This isn't so bad."
"These are okay. They are better than the instant just add water stuff. But when you're out here. You don't get a lot of choices." I only smiled because he couldn't help himself but to talk to me. At least a little. "What?"
"Nothing."
His cellphone rang. Jax and the club were getting ready to cross the border soon. It would all be over with one way or the other once they got here. Kyle had his own opinion of how things would go down once they did make it. I already knew some of the things he was saying and I knew they were true.
"I am not delusional about Jax. I know what he is and what he is capable of doing. I see a different man than everyone else does. The one without the leather on his back and feels like he has to be always tough and strong. I used to only see the struggle and torture he lives with. Then I started feeling his pain every day. When I see him with our sons just being a common man and a father. It's when I love him the most. I've never been able to shake my love for him. Not even when we were apart for years from each other."
"It's obvious you love Jax. He will be here by morning."
"It doesn't mean I will betray you again because I do."
"Yes it does, Tara. You will betray me again and I will forgive you again. It's sort of what we do."
How can you follow something like what he just said to me? There was no good come back for it. Or an argument to be made. All he had to go off of was what I had already done. So, I asked the thing that was safe to talk about. "Does he know we are here?"
"No. I didn't tell Jax. It will be another reason for him to be pissed off. He will blame me anyway so it really doesn't matter. It's never what he does or his fault. It's always what you made him to do to you is how he excuses it. I try to think like him and rationalize what he will do next. But I can't. He is all over the place and only lives for the moment. You have a plan of action and five minutes later he is off doing something completely different. With his own personal agenda in mind. You can't count on someone like him and it makes him dangerous."
They threw more wood on the fire. The flames burst when fed to an elevated level. It's what I had been doing for a while now. Fanning the flames until they reached a burning level I couldn't any longer contain. If you played with fire eventually you got burned by it.
"What is up with Gemma and Nicole?" Once Kyle said something to me I stopped watching the fire so intensely. They sat on the log across from us laughing and having one hell of a conversation between them.
"They like to play a game they made up. They watch people having a conversation then try to guess what they are talking about. I don't really get it but they seem to love it."
"Nicole gets a little stranger the more she hangs around them, especially Tig."
"I am actually surprised you let your sister be around him."
"I trust Tig farther than Jax. Which, doesn't say much. He'd slit my throat if Jax told him to."
"It's because you hate Jax so much, Kyle. It is why you feel the way you do."
"I don't hate Jax. I don't particularly like him either. He shook me down for money in my shop the first time I met him. Like I would just pay him because he said so. The people in Charming are raised and taught to fear the club. They would never make it in the real world outside the comfortable walls they built in their town. You should get some sleep. I'll give you my blanket."
"You don't have to, Kyle. I'm fine."
But he did it anyway. We three girls were given one and we put them together by our log and the fire. It was our bed for the night.
"Make sure to shake out everything before you put it on in the morning."
"Why?"
"Scorpions, rattle snakes and tarantulas are the biggest reasons."
It was enough incentive for us girls to be as close to each other as possible. I hoped Boomer was just kidding but I don't think he was.
For a long time, I stared up at the stars. Until I finally got tired enough to drift off. When I felt Nicole stir beside me I rolled over to see what was going on. The light of day was barley dawning through the night. Gemma was already setting up and was wide awake. It was what they were watching that had me worried.
He was thrashed around on the ground before he finally got up. I had been there before and knew he experienced something horrible in his dreams. Not only from the body movements he made but the sounds of slight scream that woke him up completely from a slumber state. He splashed some water on his face to douse the fire he had on the inside from the nightmare sweating he had done.
"One of us should go talk to Kyle."
"Yes, one of us should do that." Nicole agreed with Gemma while they both looked directly at me.
"Why don't you just say it's me and let's be done with this shit already?"
Before I made my way to Kyle. He went off to be by himself. It was a crossroad I had to face. Let him handle his own shit his way. Or be there for him like he had me and risk him being angry with me. "Oh hell, we all know what I am going to do."
"Now is not a good time, Tara." He didn't wander to far away. He went down to the water hole and found a rock to set on.
"It never is a good time. What's wrong?"
"What isn't wrong? I would have to make you a list. I always have my emotions under control unless I am around you. Then they are all over the place. It's one of those times, they are really all over the place."
"As you always tell me, we will do it together." After I set on the rock beside him. I put my hand on his. There were so many times I could remember him comforting me.
"Our togetherness is almost over. Jax will be here. I know it has to come to an end and I've known it's needed to for a while. Maybe, I'm just not ready for it to be over yet. Every time I let you go, it just gets harder the next time I have do it." His hand found the way on top of mine and he gave it a squeeze.
Timing was everything in this world. It no more than came out of Kyle's mouth when his phone rang. It was Jax looking for the place to meet up at. They were here and very nearby.
With the things Kyle had already told me. I went straight to what I felt the problem really was. "You don't think you are going to survive this do you? It's why you gave me the letter for Zac?"
"I saw the end of the dream and how it's supposed to be played out. I've seen it a couple of times and it always ends the same way. Mine and your path crossed for a reason. The one thing John searched for all of his life so many times but couldn't ever find. I know what it is now. The higher purpose of its meaning. If you ever need a friend, when you're in doubt or in danger. If you look hard enough for me; you know I'll always be there. You should go before Jax gets here. It will cause more problems if you're with me."
"Aren't you coming?"
"Jax will come to me soon enough I'm sure."
From around my neck I took off the gold cross. When I took a hold of his dog tags he grabbed my hand and wouldn't let me take them off.
"Ellie gave it to you. You are a smart girl. To damn smart to let this happen. You know what you need to do and will have to do. In the end, it's the only way to save them. This is just another reason I find you so sweet, you are selfless and loving. Thank you for thinking of me, but I can't take it."
There were times in my life others forced things on me. Sometimes it was for my own good and other times it was for their benefit. So, I did what I felt was right. I pressed the cross in his hand and closed it up around it. "If there is anyone in this world Ellie would want to have it. It's you. I want you to have it too."
It didn't take long for an old farm truck with a flatbed on the back of it to come pulling up. Jax and Nero were in the front and the rest of the club was riding in the back of it.
"What are you doing here?" Jax began with Gemma because she was the closest one to him when he got out of the truck. She clung to Nero tighter and didn't answer Jax.
While the rest of the club welcomed Gemma to be around them, they missed her and was basically nice. But not her son. Jax would never get it at this rate.
When it came to me. I didn't even try to defend my actions, any of them I had done. "I'm sorry. I…I am sorry for a lot of things. I guess, I am not exactly the best old lady or wife." With that I went and set by Nicole and waited for Jax to explode. But he didn't.
"Where is he?"
"Where's who?" Thomas was only aggravating the problem at hand. The little game he was playing with Jax would not end well and only angered him farther.
"Kyle."
"I don't know anybody by that name. Do you guys know anyone by that name?" They all went along with Thomas too. It was only pissing Jax off more.
"I'm right here. They are not to blame, Jax."
"I could have brought Tara and Gemma here myself. It was the whole reason for them leaving with you in the first place. You were supposed to protect them not drag them in the middle of this shit."
"You're right. I should have done things differently and paid more attention. It's on me and it's all my fault."
"If you weren't paying so much attention to my wife and paid attention to what is happening around you. Maybe they wouldn't be here. You want to get in the middle of my shit about how I do things. Yet, you can't even keep three women safe or under control."
"Seriously, you want to go there already? Maybe if you paid more attention to your wife like you should. You wouldn't have to be so worried about it. If it weren't for your bullshit none of us would be in this mess to begin with."
"Don't twist this shit around, Kyle. You're the one who fucked it up."
Nero already had to intervene and stop it between them. "They're here and we deal with it. But don't think, Gemma. We're not gonna talk about it."
"Whatever you say, baby." Of course Gemma worked her magic on her man. Nero went from stern to jello at her touch. If only I knew that secret to use on Jax.
"You're right, Nero. I've had enough of this shit already." Kyle surrendered and went to walk away from the situation. Only Jax wouldn't allow it. He roughly shoved Kyle in the back and it was the start of just more shit to come.
"Don't walk away from me. We're not done yet."
"Let's go talk about it your way then, Jax."
"Jesus Christ, we haven't even been here for five minutes yet and they are already at each other's throats. I gotta go stop that shit." Poor Nero had his hands full. More than likely though the guys and the club would either break it up or encouraged it even more by now.
The log had become my spot and the place I went to the most. I set beside Nicole and waited it out. They would have to come back here eventually.
Thomas was the first one back. Then the rest followed in suit. Jax along with Kyle were both brewing and I wasn't even going to ask what the hell happened.
The funny man himself, Thomas. Took out a package of pop rocks. I just knew this was going to be bad. He poured some in his mouth and put his arm around me. "So, Tara. Do you know what these are for honey?"
It was now his turn to butt heads with Jax. Where Kyle most of the time backed down in the end, Thomas didn't. "I don't give a shit what you like. I am talking to Tara, not you."
Nero tried to end it peacefully but we all know that shit was not possible. But it finally came to a close when Jax and the club were given their weapons. Little boys with toys tend to be quiet while they played with them.
"Do you got clips and ammo for them?" Kyle gave Jax another bag full of it. "Let's go try them out."
"What do I need to go for?"
"I insist you come, Kyle."
A couple of the guys tagged along as well. My thought on it was to make sure nothing happened to Kyle. Thomas grabbed me and I was going along if I wanted to or not. This guy didn't understand the word no.
They all stood in a line and fired off several rounds. I covered my ears because these were on the loud side. This was a first for me; watching the club do their thing. Jax seemed to be pleased with the gun and they were all sharing their opinions on them.
"You shouldn't be out here, babe. You need to go back."
"Why can't Tara be out here? She watched me and Kyle shoot. It doesn't hurt anything." It was obvious by his comments Thomas didn't care much for Jax. Or what he thought either.
"Because I said so dickhead."
"Tara can think for herself. She doesn't need you to tell her every single move to make." Now Kyle was chiming in on it too.
"She is my wife, Kyle. So, why don't you shut the fuck up and stay out of it?"
"Why don't you make me, Jax?"
Their bickering got on even my nerves. I walked away from them and they were still at it. I don't even think they noticed I was gone from them and they had nothing left to argue about.
"There are two little boys who are depending on both of you to come through for them. You need to think about them and stop this bullshit."
Nero made them at least think about their actions. His words reached Kyle because he walked away with nothing else said and made Thomas leave with him. It was probably the one thing that still reached Jax, our son. As he went on to discuss their rescue now.
With everyone playing a role in the rescue. There was no one to leave behind to watch over us girls and they didn't want to leave us here alone. They were reluctant to take us along but had no other choice.
Traveling in the back of the trucked packed like sardines wasn't the most pleasant thing. The dust was kicked up as we drove. You could feel the layers of it attaching to your skin. They threw the vehicle in as part of the package the club paid for to get illegally across the border.
The first task at hand was to get more transportation. You couldn't exactly make a fast getaway in this damn thing. Or drive around unnoticed in it.
Once we got to town it was very similar to where we were staying at. A lot of sand and dirt. Most people who lived here were poor. Only the powerful elite were considered wealthy. The middle class was something that didn't exist. The things we took for granted having on a daily basis were a luxury most never got the chance of experiencing.
They dropped off Jax, Kyle, Gemma, Nicole and myself in town. While the others had specific duties to accomplish. Even though I didn't know what they were.
A meeting was to take place with Jax and someone. We entered in a bar. Nothing like you would see where we were from. It was grimy and hot inside. No air conditioning or anything special about it really.
"Sit here and don't move. Don't talk to anyone. I mean it, Gemma." Jax gave us orders of what he wanted us to do. After I used a napkin to wipe off the seat in the booth I set down.
A woman with long dark hair and a red rose tucked behind her ear approached Jax and Kyle. The peasant top she had on exposed herself when she bent over the table to talk with them. She only spoke Spanish by language but her body spoke a universal one, pussy.
"Gemma, how do you think that conversation is going down?" Nicole started off their little game. I might not of understood a word the woman said but I knew for sure what she was offering them.
"I think she is telling Jackson what a connection she feels between them. How special it is and what she finds appealing about him. Him on the other hand. Is thinking, no bitch you just got a pussy I can fuck."
"Damn, that is sort of harsh." Nicole was taken back by Gemma and how she seen it to be.
Me, not so much. So I put it out there and meant it. "It's probably true."
"I call it like I see it girls."
Through the door came a group of shady looking characters. You could always tell the leader he walked ahead of the others and almost strutted while he did it. He shook Jax's hand and set down with them. The three other guys stayed close by but gave them room to have a private conversation.
Jax took an envelope out of his sweatshirt and slid it across the table. Everyone in here knew the contents of it, cash. The price of doing business as my husband always says.
When they stood up, they were done. But we could hear Jax and he was very serious with every word he spoke. "If you're lying to me. I will cut your heart out. Then, I will let him take a turn to finish it."
"No need for dramatics. It's where they are holding the children."
While we waited for the guys to come back for us. There were a couple of young boys walking down the street. Maybe fifteen years old at the most. They didn't behave their age when they pulled a knife on us. It was a robbery in broad daylight. People seen it too as they passed us by but did nothing to help. If anything they shied away from it and avoided it.
Jax lifted up his shirt and so did Kyle to show the boys their weapons tucked down in their jeans. "Do you really wanna do this with us? Don't think we won't shoot your dumb asses. The best thing you can do is get the fuck away from me."
It didn't take the boys long to come to the conclusion bringing a knife to a gun fight. Was an instant loss and they took off running in the other direction.
After all that drama was finally over. We got to the place we were directed to go. It didn't make any sense they would keep our boys here.
"It's a damn laundry service. You don't really know where the boys are, do you, Jax?"
"This is the distribution for the drugs. If they are not inside here. They moved them somewhere else. We follow the pipeline until we find them and we take one of their trucks to make sure we have some security of getting them back."
"What if it only pisses Sandoval off more and he hurts Abel or Cody? Can you live with that? I can't."
"The kids are here in this town. Sandoval wants his drugs back. His greed will exceed the need to take revenge. He won't hurt them. They are the only bargaining chip he's got to recover almost a half of a million dollars in product. I think I know how it works in the streets better than you do, Kyle."
"You better not be playing me this time. If anything happens to Cody because of it. Whatever they do to him, I will do something ten times more horrible to you. I have that dark side too and you bring it out with a vengeance."
Jax completely blew off what Kyle said to him and never took an ounce of it seriously. They had a plan in motion of what to do to find where the boys were. Who knew if it would work or not. I just prayed for their safety. Really it was all I could do at this point.
"Do you get anything?"
He had his computer out and was smoking the key board as swiftly as his fingers moved. "I can't find anything on this place. Or hack into a security system because I don't find one. The only way to know is get on the inside to plant bugs so I can see and hear."
"We start with taking the truck and go from there. If you follow the pipeline north, it's drugs and illegals. If you follow it south it's human trafficking and laundering money." Jax lit up a smoke and came up with the next step they needed to take.
Since no one was certain how efficient the police were here or if they were in the bad guys' pockets. They planned on creating a diversion to keep them busy while they stole the truck.
"Thomas, are you good with it?"
"Yeah, I'm on it."
"Tig, are you brother?"
"You know it boss." As Tig walked by Boomer. Tig purposely hit his shoulder into him. It was a little check to let Boomer know of his presences. They been making comments to each other since the club arrived.
"You are such a prick." Boomer never reminded me of the violent or outspoken type. But he wasn't holding back.
"Did you say you wanna suck my dick? I thought I would save it for Nicole for later but okay man. I'll let ya." Of course Tig was always violent and the very outspoken type.
"Tig, stay focused and don't get caught." Jax put an end to their little disagreement. Which I found funny the same circle they all took when the others needed to be reined in.
It was amazing Thomas seemed okay with Tig. There weren't any ill feelings between them at all. "You and Boomer are almost as good at this shit over women as Kyle and Jax are. So, how do you want to do this?"
"We find the biggest assholes in the bar. Start a fight with them and beat their asses."
"Simple plan, I like it, Tig."
Now on to them stealing the laundry's transportation truck. They hoped were full of drugs. Happy, Meat and Juice took it on.
As everything else in my life. It didn't come off without a glitch. I believed Jax was correct of his assessment of this being the right place when about six guys came out of the laundry place with their guns blazing at them. He had spent most of his life in the streets and no one knew them better than he did. It was where he was truly king.
We were hidden in a parking lot across the street. The guys didn't want us to get in the way or to get hurt. "Nicole, do your thing, sweetheart. The faster the better." Gemma would be the only mother who encouraged other people's children to steal a car, another car in fact.
But hey, Nicole had us a ride pretty damn quick. Jax got behind the wheel of the tiny old car and we left after whoever just came out chasing after the truck they stole. Since no one was supposed to know yet Jax and the club were here it was important they didn't get away to inform anyone.
"Your sister has got skills. Apparently, it's not a family trait."
"Do you always have to be an asshole, Jax?"
"Do you always gotta be a prick, Kyle?"
They found so many things they agreed to completely disagree on. If I didn't know each of them, I would have thought them both to be a little out there today.
"Speed up, Jax. We are going to lose them."
"Don't tell me how to drive. It's a fucking old Fiat. How fast do you think we can go? Have a smoke and just relax. You're making me nervous with all this talking shit."
"I don't smoke."
"Then you should start."
"Fine."
Kyle took the pack of cigarettes from Jax. Then threw them out the window of the car. In return Jax did the same with Kyle's hat. It went out the window as well.
"Asshole."
"Prick."
Nicole wasn't the only one with skills. From some damn place Tig and Thomas had gotten a very nice new car. They must have completed their mission because they were speeding up beside us.
It was a Chinese fire drill when the five us piled into the new car with them. They wanted to keep the element of surprise or so they said. By Sandoval not knowing about them being here or expecting Kyle and the guys to be along with them. They stood a better chance at their attack on him.
"Let's go." Jax was already crawling out the window. I thought my heart was going to stop when he made a leap to the bad guys' car at the high speed we were flying down the road.
"Somebody remind me why I am jumping on the hood of a moving car with Jax."
"Bad life choices, brother." Thomas gave out his scenario of the situation at hand to Kyle. We girls never uttered one word about it either.
"Yeah, that's gotta be it."
We lost them somewhere. All the traffic started to slow down as we came to a town. By the time we made it around the corner to catch up with them, chaos had already struck. An over turned vegetable truck was in the middle of the road with produce everywhere. A car had broadsided another one. Vehicles were parked all over the damn dirt road as no one could pass by.
"Did someone call 9-1-Holy-Shit?" I had to agree with Thomas on this one. This was not the way stay incognito. The car went through the side of the old transportation bus they collided with. People were scurrying to get off of it in a hurry. Especially those who were safely setting up on the open top part of the bus. A few were crawling out of the enormous hole in the side of it even. If they were the lucky ones who weren't injured from it. Then came out the two who caused it all.
"What the hell was that move?"
"You said, stop the car. I shot the fucker and stopped the car. So, I don't know what you're bitching about, Kyle. It worked didn't it?"
"This is the way you stay off their radar, Jax? Why don't you just send up a fucking flare we are here?"
They just continued to stand there and argue about it in the middle of all this mess surrounding us. Most weren't paying any attention to them because frankly I don't think they understood a damn thing they said.
"I hate to break this up. I really do because I was hoping Kyle would just beat your ass. But we got to get the hell out of here. There will be time to kill each other later."
Thomas had a valid point of leaving before we all ended up in a Mexican prison cell and forgotten about. But it didn't stop them from the bickering on the way back to pick up our little car we left behind. They kept going and even argued about who was going to drive the damn thing. Jax won because he finally just got in on the driver's side.
"If I get taken out it is going to be by a fucking bullet. Not by a fucking bus. So, drive the fucking car already. I need to get the fuck away from you before I hurt you."
"You have a very fucking limited vocabulary, Kyle."
"Fuck you, Jax."
Our heads followed the conversation from the back seat. We moved as a tennis match back and forth between them as they didn't shut up either. If they were on the same side, they would be unstoppable together by what we witnessed today. It was almost scary to think if John had lived and Kyle was a member of the club with Jax. All the damage they could really do.
Out of this mess. They all came to the same conclusion. There was only one way in to see if the boys were on the inside of the place. It was the women workers they picked up and dropped off on the bus outside of town daily. We three made it clear, it would be all three of us that went in together or none of us. Of course, they didn't like the idea but at this point, we were their only option left to get in and out unnoticed.
The only problem was we had to appear to be one of them. We owned nothing like the women we seen had dressed in. Nero and Kyle took us to get something to wear. I was a little surprised Jax let it happen without a fuss.
But Jax was in take charge mode. He was making plans for what would go down in the morning. The route they would take and he was busy chasing down the other stops of the drug pipeline.
While we looked for a clothing store. A very strange old woman passed us on the street and continued to follow us down through the alleyway. She was instantly drawn to Kyle. She put her hands together and rambled on in a language only one of us understood.
"What the hell is she saying to me, Nero?"
"The nature of good and evil is more than black and white. They are the darkness in our souls, likewise they are the light. Within the hearts of men; they fuel our greed and selfishness, our pride and vanity. They fan the flames of bigotry, inciting enmity. This struggle between right and wrong determines who survives. It will bring life to those who learn and death to those who fail. Without them there would be no light or darkness in our souls." Nero translated what she had repeated numerous times. But she kept talking and he wouldn't any longer. He laid his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "You need to tell me the truth."
"I have no idea what she is talking about."
From a rawhide bag she brought out a small glass vial. High in the air she held it up and continued on speaking what none of us understood but Nero. She held it out until Kyle finally took it from her. Then she made a cross over his heart with her finger.
"Is she going to bite the head off of a chicken now, Nero?"
"How in the hell should I know. I like my chicken done the Cornel Sanders way."
"You're Mexican, you should know the ritual she is performing. I bet she does eat a chicken. I saw it on the Discovery Channel before. She's a voodoo woman." Kyle and I both looked at Nicole with the words she chose to call the lady. Then to each other.
"White girl, you're really starting to wear on me." Poor Nero, he spent most of his time with us being questioned like that by Nicole. She naturally assumed he knew everything.
"Thanks."
"That's not a compliment, Nicole. Why don't you take her somewhere Gemma and give us a minute?" I went to go with them because I thought Nero wanted to talk to only Kyle. "Not you, Tara. You need to stay here."
They walked out to the street and Gemma was having a smoke but kept looking back to see what was happen. I was sort of curious myself as to what would happen from all of this.
"Gracias." Nero thanked the woman before she disappeared through the alley.
"She said to wash in the dandelions roots. It is a very powerful protective flower. They will clear out your negative energy and form a white light shield. Whatever secret you two share is a dangerous one. Kyle, I need you to tell me the truth. From a brother to a brother, you know you can trust me."
"I don't know what she is talking about."
"Why do you insist on lying to me? Tara, are you gonna tell me?"
"I don't know what she is talking about."
"The time is gonna come when the truth all comes out. It always does. According to what she saw; it's a huge secret you share between the two of you. Just don't dismiss her words. She apparently knows more about what is going on with you than I do because you won't tell me." Nero didn't ask us anything farther about it. He must have felt it was getting him nowhere and it really was. His sunglasses went down on his face and he went to Gemma. Just like he always does.
We made our way back to the camp site after we got the plain clothing we would dress in for tomorrow. There were stolen vehicles parked everywhere. Even a Mexican food truck. Happy and Meat were in full swing with it.
Meat stuck his head out of the sliding glass window. Dinged a bell and set a Styrofoam plate of tacos out of it. "Juice, your order is done."
We did eat well from it though. Happy made me chicken tacos and they were yummy. After everyone was fed, we had depleted the food supply on it.
We girls did the cleanup from there cooking expedition they did. They prepared food well but made one hell of a mess while doing it.
Back to our log we went. It was the center of everything where you could observe. There was an invisible line drawn in the sand between Jax and the club then Kyle and the guys. If they wanted something from the other side they went up to where we set to get it. Then back to their own side.
Until Kyle and Jax met in the middle. They were talking among themselves without an argument actually. When it went past half an hour and they were still getting along. We all wanted to know what was going on.
"How do you think that conversation is going?" Gemma started their little game off by asking Nicole the question.
"I think it going something like this. Don't you touch my sweet untainted Tara, Kyle. Don't you tell me what to do, Jax. You're such a prick, no, you're such an asshole. Then they talk about manly shit we don't care about."
"That's pretty good, sweetheart."
They weren't even close to what Jax and Kyle were discussing. The curious kitty in me just had to get myself a cup of coffee. Which, the water was near enough to them I could hear some of it.
"I'm the scumbag outlaw while you're the pillar of the community. But we both don't like looking in the mirror much. Afraid of what we might see looking back at us. We're not that different as you like to pretend we are. So, don't give me your self righteous bullshit. If you got something to say, just say it already."
To set on the log was where I went back to. They talked for a while more. Then there talk and kindness was over with each other.
"Get back on your own side poetic injustice."
"I really get to you. Don't I Jax? Or is it you're afraid I get to Tara?"
Nero stepped up again and reminded them why they had come together in the first place. Our children's lives depended upon them. They had to get along for only one more day to save the boys.
"I think it's best we call it a night. Everybody get some sleep because tomorrow will be a long one. Are you coming Gem?"
It wasn't hard to guess the decision Gemma made. The decision we girls would have to make of which side to be on. Nero was with Kyle and it was the side she chose to go to. Even Nicole went to Kyle over Tig and Boomer. They only stopped long enough to look over their shoulders to see what I was going to do.
"Oh hell, we all know where I am going."
Jax was busy talking to Chibs and Bobby. I didn't interrupt their conversation. I set closer to the fire and played with my stick again for a long time. Since the sun went down I felt cold. The slightest whisper of a breeze on my skin made me shiver.
Jax took off his sweatshirt and wrapped it around my shoulders. Then joined me by the fire side. I poured myself another cup of coffee and made him one as well. "I noticed you haven't had much to say to me since I got here. Are you staring to regret coming back to me?"
"I am just trying to stay out of everyone's way and no I don't regret it. I'd probably do somethings differently though. Everything has always happened so fast around me. One day I came back too Charming; the next day I was a mother. It's the one thing I will never regret, being a mother to our sons. But I hate how all the bad shit of the club finds its way to my door step. No matter how much I try to get past it. Before I can get over one thing, something else even worse happens. I can't catch my breath because there is always more. When I look at my sons' faces though, I'd do it all again for them. Even if it was for only one more day I'd get to spend with them."
"I know you're doing what you gotta do by putting distance between us. I get it. I haven't always been the best husband either. I guess, I don't have to look at you as being perfect anymore. Compared to me, you're still a fucking saint. You're just as human as I am and we all make mistakes. My biggest mistake is keeping you on the outside of it all and not being completely honest with you. I've been trying to protect you from it and clearly it's not working at all. I can't take that part back now, Tara. But I can try to make it better if you'll let me."
"Then be honest with me now, Jax. I'm not perfect or a saint. I've done…I have done…"
"I already know what you have done. I'm not stupid or blind. When you first came back to town. I worried all the time and just waited for you to leave me. I got over it for a while. I really thought you'd stay forever. Now, I'm right back to just waiting and wondering when you'll leave me again. I won't make it through it this time. You completely crushed me when you left as though I meant nothing to you. It took me a long time to get past it. There is no way in hell, I'll let it happen this time. You can say a lot of bad shit about me. But you can't ever say I abandoned you. I love you, Tara. I'll never let you go or give up on us."
It wasn't exactly what I wanted Jax to share with me. I had high hopes he would tell me what happened with our son and his part he played in it. Although, I didn't realize how much animosity he still carried about the first time I left all those year ago. Nor did I really know it affected him much. He always acted tough as though he could survive anything. It was hard to recall a time when he stated how much needed me to be with him like he just did.
"I feel like this is our last chance to get out and get our boys out of Charming. We will lose them if we don't leave soon. They won't stand a chance at any kind of life if we don't Jax. You promised me we would leave and you would leave the club behind. I need you to tell me you will keep that promise."
"I promise as soon as I can, we will leave." It was as much of a comment as I could out of him. I even tried a few more times to reach him using our sons.
While I laid my head down in his lap. Jax softly stroked my hair. As good as it felt coming from him. I still needed more. "Tell me you love me, Jackson and mean it."
"I love you, Tara. I'll never let you go."
The dream state took me shortly after I closed my eyes. It stopped at the same exact spot again with no ending. I uncovered from Jax's sweatshirt. I moved away from him carefully not to wake him up and went to make a cup of instant coffee. There wasn't any water left in the bucket.
"Great."
Juice and Meat were the only ones up. I knew it was late or early morning but I wasn't sure of the time.
"I'll walk Tara down there to get water."
"Are you good with it, Tara?"
"Yes. I'll be fine with him. Thank you, Juice."
By a flash light I stepped on the big rock to dip the bucket where the water flowed in from. I got a scare that almost made me fall off the rock. A wet hand had taken a hold of my ankle when he came up from the water.
"Holy shit. What are you doing out in here in the middle of the night?"
"Well, I'm leaving now. I think it's under control here. I'm sure Kyle will help you find or feel your way around out here in the dark. The mice will play when her old man is asleep. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Or get caught at anyway."
"I didn't know Kyle was out here. I swear." Meat only laughed as he went up the hill. I don't think he believed me either. But it was the truth.
Out of the water he came. The moonlight made his wet skin glisten. I looked away because it was obvious I was watching his naked body. Only for him to stand clearly in my view to pick up his towel from the ground. So, once again, I looked the other way.
"You'd better go away, little girl. I'm not supposed to be alone with you. Daddy won't like it."
At least by wrapping the towel around him, he had covered himself up. I no longer had to pretend I wasn't looking. As close as he got to me, I could feel his chest taking in a breath and let it out against me. His lips were practically on mine when he spoke.
"When you are near me like this. You are much too hard to resist. I know how sweet your lips are, Tara." A little lick of his tongue on them was the way he finished the sentence. "So, you better go away, little girl."
"Jesus Christ, you're out here playing romper room with each other."
"I'm just taking a bath."
"I'm just getting some water."
"I'm just out here to make sure when Jax wakes up, he doesn't kill you."
"Well, it is the worst thing Jax can do to me. But he can only kill me once, Nero. So, I guess he better make it a good one."
"Let me tell you a little story. I met this crazy married biker chick. I couldn't get her outta my head. It's the Godfather's paradox; the more distance I tried to put between me and Gemma. The closer we got. The more I didn't want to love her. The more I did. Then I met her kid. Jax is more fucked in the head than she is even. I got so tangled up in their lives and now, I can't get out."
"What is the moral of the story? Are you telling me to stay away from Tara?"
"No, it's not what I am telling you, Kyle. They carry around so many secrets it strangles the life out of them. They spin the truth so much until they start to believe it themselves. Everything they touch feels the effects of it. I see what it does to Gemma and Jax. I see what it is doing to you too. You are beginning to go down the same path they are. The secrets you and Tara have will crush you. You are becoming bolder with it every day. Eventually the darkness, it will take you down and you won't make it out either." Nero took the glass vial Kyle had of the dandelions out of his hand. "You obviously understood and believed something the lady said. Or you wouldn't have bathed in it. I am asking you both, one more time to tell me the truth. Before it comes to the surface and I can't help you."
"The truth doesn't always set you free, Nero. Sometimes it just makes things worse." Kyle wasn't giving any more information than that out on the subject. I had been there and done that shit myself.
When I actually told the truth it only boxed me in the corner with no way out. Made me more vulnerable than I had ever been before. Hurt those around me and my family. Set in motion where I stood today; without my son.
I hope you enjoyed reading me!
Thank you for leaving a review, marking this story as your favorite or alert!