Chapter 30,
Crossroads~ Two separate realms touch one place literally. Neither here nor there; linked in between them. Used to summon a demon. In order to broker a supernatural deal with the devil.
Part 1 of 5
"Well, I didn't see that shit coming."
Thomas was the first one to break the silence. The others seemed too much in shock to speak or uncertain of what they should actually say. It even left Gemma completely speechless. But she held her head up high without making eye contact with anyone in the room and walked out the door. With Nero trailing right behind her.
Except Jax that was. He had a lot to say about it. "How long have you known?" It wasn't a question or discussion I had time for. Saving Abel and Cody was what I continued to do. I went on with drawing Kyle's blood and ignored Jax's continuous rant.
The cart with the drawn blood and supplies I had pulled up by the table went flying into the wall. When Jax kicked it there. He was up in my face screaming at me. "How long have you known, Tara?"
Some club members and Marines moved closer. To stop the action that was taking place and bound to happen. "Get the fuck out. This is between me and my wife." That was said calmly from Jax. Even the rest of it came out of his mouth that way too. "You betrayed me, Tara. The most unforgivable betrayal of all."
"Betrayal Jax, you really want to talk to me about betrayal. How deep it runs and all the shit you've done." This had to happen. It wasn't the best time for it but, it was well past time for it to come out. Time for it to get addressed and let him feel some of that pain he had inflicted on others. Without a trace of shown remorse for it by him.
By a handful of Jax's sweatshirt I dragged him to stand over our little sweet baby boy. "You look at Abel."
With a trembling jaw, Jax couldn't stand to look at our son in the face as he turned his head away. But the fuck if he was going to get away with it this time. I grabbed his chin and forced him to do it. "You look at what you've done. What you've done to all of us. You did this. This is the most unforgiving betrayal of them all, one against our children. One that cannot possible ever be forgotten or forgiving easily." I let go of him but, I had a lot more to add to it. "After I am done with the boys and do what is necessary to save their lives. You can scream at me, cuss me out and call me whatever you like. But until then Jax, stay the fuck out of my way."
Thomas gave me a nod of approval. He stood close to Kyle, because he knew what Jax could do, as we all did. At any given moment, the deadly explosion could happen and I think Thomas was ready for it. But it wasn't necessary because the outlaw was broken like the rest of us. A brief reprieve from the devastation to come no doubt.
With the broken spirit, I knew Jax was still in there somewhere with me and the boys. He could still be somewhat reached. Which meant, he wasn't totally gone from me yet. But fucking close enough.
"Come on, Jackie." Chibs was by Jax's side like always. Lending support to his brother.
"You're dead." The final comment Jax made before he left which didn't even make Kyle flinch.
"We'll see about that shit." Thomas supported Kyle also in his sentiments on the matter.
"I want everyone out of here except for Nicole and Kyle." They didn't budge so, I fucking screamed it. "Now. Get out." Then I slammed the door shut after the last one went out of it. Sometimes you need to get rough and tough for them to listen to you or even been seen in their sight at all. Or they only heard what they wanted to and walk on you every chance they got. I was personally done with being a doormat for everyone in my life.
"Jax didn't mean it. He is just mad at me." As I pulled Kyle's blood out into another vial.
"Yes, he did, girl. We knew it would come down to this eventually; Jax or me." Kyle folded his arm up tightly around the cotton I put on it to stop the bleeding.
There were somethings I had no control over to get the blood to stop running. No concept of how to get past the blood already spilled. No way to stop the bleeding hurt we all felt. But when I looked at my son, I still done the right thing. I would take my last breath of life in knowing so if it was what it took to save him.
It was the quickest work I've ever done as a doctor. I had Nicole giving blood for Cody. So, I could administrate the transfusion. Abel was almost complete with the purification process. The only thing left now was to see how much of John Teller was passed on to Kyle and Abel. John was truly the key to everything.
Down the same long hallway, I'd walk so many times in the last twenty four hours. With Kyle's blood in hand to have it tested. I squeezed the vial tightly but could feel no heat. I even rolled it between my palms and nothing. Had I gone crazy before and just let the situation get to me. Was Jax blood truly boiling hot? The medical training, I relied upon for everything told me no. A mother's heart told me the truth.
It would be another wait to see if Abel would get the same miracle Cody received. But it was just the beginning of the recovery process and nowhere near the end. This would have to be done numerous times until they had a clean blood result come back. Even if we managed to get them out of this country alive. What level of more lies would have to be told to cover up the truth so we could continue the healing?
There was more to consider other than getting the boys well. The emotional trauma they suffered. Along with how could we explain all of this to the two little innocent boys. They see the world through a child's perspective but now it was tainted. The scars of evil had already touched them. That would be something I would worry about later. I still had so much of the weight of it crushing down on my shoulders.
The conversation I walked up on wasn't something I expected nor had thought about yet. Chibs was straight forward too.
"I am worried brother. If Kyle decides to sit at the table, we can't stop him from it. Being the son of John Teller it is his birth right."
"I won't let that shit happen."
"Jackie, he could challenge you for your chair. Not that any of us would support him. But he could ruin what we've built."
Jax didn't respond this time. Only watched me as I walked on with a combination of a disappointed look and pure hatred on his face. That confrontation between us would happen soon enough. There was no way to avoid it.
When I returned to my baby. Kyle was sitting in a chair between the boys. He looked as I felt, horrible. "I'm sorry, Kyle. I had to…"
"It's okay girl. It would have come out eventually. I've never really had great timing and always had shitty luck too."
Leaning in I gave a sweet kiss to my son. I knew he was in there and it would be felt by him. Maybe he couldn't react or acknowledge it but I know Abel was aware I was here with him. "Mommy loves you more than all the leaves on the trees and all the ants on the sidewalk."
The emotions rose to the surface and the remembrance of all those times Abel and I bantered it back a forth. By his side, I sat down lifted his small frail body up in my arms. Held him as close to me as possible. Held on to the joy he brought into my life. Held on to my oldest son.
Through the tears, I wept the words. They came out at only above a whisper. "You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you. No one will ever take my son away from me. Nothing will ever separate us baby. Mommy won't let it."
My own wellness had been put into question more than once over the last few months. Nothing could have prepared me for the stress to the mind, body, soul and heart that I had now. But I had to pull myself together, Abel was depending on me.
With everything going on at once. I had forgotten one of the most important things we needed to discuss. "There were four crows when you and Jax rescued the boys. I can't figure out why."
"The crow is here to take a soul." It didn't come as a surprise to Kyle. It scared me to death at the thought.
"Who? Is it Abel or Cody?"
"I don't think so."
"Then who?"
Kyle wouldn't answer me. Even when I asked the same question again and again. "Oh god, it's you." The revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. I had some responsibility in this. I brought Kyle into this world. Into this life where his identity was exposed. Into his fate that would come.
When I started to cry, I felt his arms around me. "Don't you cry for me, girl. I am meant to save Abel." As my son's name came out of his mouth I stared in Kyle's eyes. There was something he hadn't told me there. A piece to this gigantic puzzle he knew, I didn't.
Before I could find out what. We were interrupted by Eric. "The results are back, Tara." This was the quickest one yet to be returned. I wiped my eyes before I headed out the door.
With a shaky hand, I ripped open the envelope. Through blurred tear stained vision I read it. It was time to face the truths now.
When I returned back to the room, I interrupted their conversation."I don't care who your father is. You will always be my brother. But you still should have told me. We're family, we love each other no matter what." Nicole had a true love for Kyle. Although she was upset with him for not trusting her. By keeping secrets from the ones, you love, you betray them in small ways. As soon as she seen me, she let go of the hug she had Kyle in.
"And you, Tara. We are supposed to be close girlfriend. You are the sister I never had and we can talk about anything. While we're on the subject of honesty, Kyle is in love with you. I can see it and I think you are just as much in love with him. I'd never tell you to cheat on or leave Jax. But you both need to deal with it and come to grips with it or just get over each other." After Nicole hugged me tightly to her, checked on her son, she left the room and shut the door behind her.
"You are almost a perfect match for Abel. You are your father's son made over. He is just like his grandfather."
Those words were said in delight that my son's life would be spared for the moment. A mother's desperate fear at the same time. If the web held true, Abel was more than likely destined to become the bad brother. The next prince of darkness. It also meant he would be the next SOA president as well. The one who would take over the club and become very evil. A fleeting thought of Thomas as the good brother. Both battling each other until death came for one of them. All the things it meant and held for each of them in the future.
The thought of my son being any of those things, made me want to cry. But I didn't have time for that now. It was save Abel, save my baby from the darkness.
"I won't allow that to happen."
Kyle didn't say much to me. I got the bag started for the transfusion to Abel. We didn't address the elephant in the room. But then again, was there really a need to. We both knew the score of things. There was another couple of major issues to be addressed I couldn't avoid forever either.
"I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you two."
There came a moment of revelation in everyone's life. When every choice you made not only effected your world but, everyone else around you as well. Some were so small it wasn't noticeable. Others were deemed life changing. Those thoughts were running a hundred miles an hour through my mind. It was always best to tell the truth. It was supposed to set you free even. The truth was always the still truth in the end. But since I knew the truths for myself. There was no way I could be ever freed from them all.
The search for him began. It didn't take me long to track him down. I was here just a few hours ago before I divulged the biggest lie I had told yet and kept secret from everyone. When I quietly set down next to Jax on the pew. The bible laying there was open and the passage was uncanny to the timing.
John 1:14 So the word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father's one and only Son.
But which son was it referring to this time. My innocent babies who never asked to be part of this nor ever had any choices in the matter. Or their father and uncle who never really had any choices either. It was taken away from them all because they were descendants of John Teller.
"How's Abel?"
"Kyle is a match for him. I know how pissed off you are at me Jax. I'm sorry I kept it from you but I had to. I don't want to sit here and play the blame game with you. Let's just get our son well and take him home. Then we can hash it all out."
Jax never answered me about what I said to him. As a matter of fact, he never even gave a glance in my direction. He stared forward at the big cross hanging on the wall.
"I never really wanted the gavel or to set in the chair at the head of the table. Part of me knew it would happen. I always dreaded the weight of it, the responsibility. The truth is I can barely make the right choices for myself let alone the club anymore. I tried to take the club in the right direction I thought made sense at the time. Get away from all the outlaw shit, it would make everything straight again. It clearly hasn't worked. Some part of me was trying to buy back all the bad shit I've done in my life. Make it all right, to all the people I've hurt, including my family. It's just a false pardon, it's dangerous and its selfish. JT did the same thing before he died and lost it all. I just repeated all his mistakes because I thought I could make a difference. I get it now, I didn't then. I blame Gemma for the man I became. It's what she taught me to be. But I blame myself for you hating me."
"I don't hate you…"
"Yes, you do. I see it every time you look at me. That hate only grows stronger. I have to fix this." With a kiss to my forehead, Jax seemed determined. More determined than I seen him in a while. "I love you, Tara. I will never give up on us or let you go."
"We need to catch our breath and worry about it when we can get home. When Abel is better, we can focus on all of this."
"I've never been more focused or clearer on the path I have to take. What I gotta do to fix to my family." With a halfhearted smile Jax left me sitting here. Staring at the large wooden cross. The same cross I once seen with mother every Sunday. The same cross I was taught would answer my prayers. The same cross that holds the weight of my decision, sins and all the repercussions of them.
"Shit." I had forgotten about Opie. It was coming true before my eyes.
"Abel will be brought home. But not without consequences. For every decision made you suffer the consequences of those actions."
Opie suffered for every single one of his. His family suffered even more because of them. Now, it was my turn, my families turn. A heart full of sorrows, despairs and dark emotions was what I was left with.
My head hung low while I thought of my babies. Ellie and Kenny was left with no one in this world because of their father's life with the club. My sons had a fighting chance because they still had me and I would save them. What Donna tried to do but failed. I would dance with the devil and give him my soul if it meant my children would live on in a happy life.
So many jumbled up thoughts were running in my head while I went back to the boys. So many unanswered questions. So many lies that would catch up with all of us in the end.
It was some encouragement when I checked Cody's vital signs. His transfusion was complete. His fever had dropped a few degrees, his heart beat was growing stronger but he hadn't gained conciseness yet. His body made several small movements though. This was the most life we seen from them since we found them.
In preparation, I had already started Kyle's blood before the results came back. It was coursing through Abel's veins already. I could only pray he would have the same reaction as Cody. Showing signs of life again.
"You're all done. We just have to wait and see how Abel reacts to it now." Once again, I stopped the blood flowing from Kyle. The time would come when I could no longer stop it.
"You know, I was mad at you, Gemma and Nicole for coming along. But you saved the boys. Without you, they wouldn't have stood a chance."
If Gemma taught me nothing else, defiance when it came to your family. Was what you did no matter who liked it or didn't like it. There were some motherly instincts that could never be explained at the time but was a necessary evil. You stood strongly behind them and faced what came. There was another person I still had to face the outcome of what happened.
"Nicole, I am going to step out. Abel has a couple of hours before he is done. I won't be gone long."
No one had approached Gemma from this aftermath. She set alone with Nero outside. She wouldn't acknowledge my presence when I came out either. I motioned for Nero to come over to me.
"I took Gemma's gun for your safety. I can't promise anything else mama."
"Thanks, I think."
But that didn't stop me from approaching Gemma. There were things that just had to be done. Multiple ass chewing you had to take. Feelings you couldn't spare when it came to protecting your children.
"Well, if it isn't the queen of secrets."
"I guess I deserve that, Gemma. But, I learned it from the best."
"Yeah, I guess you did. Did Kyle match Abel?"
"Almost perfectly in fact. I was certain from the things you said to Kyle and about him, you already knew he is John's son."
Gemma let out a long sigh and lit up a smoke. "I've felt John's presence more the last few months than I have in the last twenty years. Thought for while he was haunting me from the goddamn grave. When Kyle is around he brings back that love I once had for John. The feelings are stronger and I can't shake it either. John is always on my mind. Kyle reminds me of the John I loved so much all those years ago and the man I worshiped. Everything that was good about him." Very rarely she ever showed any true emotions. Or let you see a glimpse of the weak side of her. But she was completely exposed at the moment.
My arm went around Gemma's shoulder to comfort her as she had done for me so many times. As mean, cruel and conniving as she could be, the reality was. I was just as bad as her or even worse because I conned the queen herself. What Kyle and I've done along with hid from everyone proved it.
But the most difficult part of this conversation hadn't taken place yet. This was what would separate or unite me and her. "You knew about the crows. Didn't you, Gemma? John told you and you thought he was crazy. It's why you helped Clay kill him. You still see them now too and won't admit it. I saw it in your eyes when they rescued the boys. We are both very good at keeping dirty secrets and protecting our family. It's why you have been battling Jax so much lately. You seen it coming."
"I've done a lot of wrong in my life and I've tried to save you from the same fate. Done things to protect you and the boys even when I had to go against my son to do it. There was no one to fight for me. I made my own way and my own mistakes as well. You're smart sweetheart, you'll do a better job than I did. It's only a matter of time for me now. I will carry out John's wishes and make sure the club stays whole until then." It was as much of a confession as I was going to get from her. Not even sure why I expected it in the first place.
"I will do what I need to do, to save my boys from the same fate. I do not care who the hell I must fight to do it either. That includes you, Gemma. You know what will happen to them if I don't."
"You try to take Abel and Thomas away from me. I'll see you dead and in hell first and that's a promise. They are all I got left to hold on to. I'd advise you not to get in my way. Mommy or not to them."
"They are my sons. When it comes to them, I will mow your ass over if need be. I'm not afraid of you."
"No, sweetheart, you're not anymore. But, you really should be."
It came as a threat from Gemma and she was the one who decided we would stand divided from here on. No matter how difficult it was for her to talk to me. The one who stood in front of us, was the ghost of John Teller to her. I excused myself so Kyle could say what he needed to in private.
"Tara, you are not keeping any other secrets from me, are you?"
"No." It was the most convincing no I ever spoke. Of course it was a lie. But Gemma was now the enemy too until she proved otherwise. When it was all said and done, I would have a long line of enemies.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
The quiet before the storm should be what was feared the most. You walked around in a protective bubble or so you thought you were. The reality was, there was nowhere really safe or to hide. When evil came out to play, it would hunt you down.
Jax was blinded by power. He thought of himself as a god like creature in the circle he has always been virtually the center of since birth. The pedestal which he has always been put up on was now crumbling down around him at his feet. Those who have always seen him in this light, no longer did. Myself included. Those effects of it were known to him as well. You could tell he longer felt worshiped or in control of it. The darkness had taken over.
He wasn't thinking clearly. This was a club solution not the way a rational person would handle it. By eliminating the source of your problem, there were no more problems. You didn't speak of it again, move on like it never existed. More death to come from him. More blood uselessly spilled. More sins from the father for my sons to pay the price for them.
"If you kill Kyle. You are killing our son, Jax. Abel cannot survive without him."
"Bullshit, he already gave his blood to Abel. He doesn't need Kyle anymore."
"It is only the beginning. There needs to be a series of transfusions given. Please do not do this, Jax. I am begging on our son's life."
Firmly I stood in between them. Jax would have to go through me to get to Kyle. My eyes never left Jax's, you never knew truly what violent point he was capable of reaching and expanding to. It was a re occurrence of the day in the warehouse and could be my last one here on earth. Heart beat was racing along with my mind. Only I didn't whisper I love you to him. All I thought of were my children. Our babies who needed us. Along with Kenny and Ellie who had no one without us. The circle began with Jax and I; this is where it would end to save them.
Everything happening around me, had no effect, no emotions escaped my body. In slow motion, I seen Gemma in the corner of my eye. She came out of nowhere with a gun flashed in Jax's face.
"Tara is right. Put it down Jackson or else. JT was a lot of things. But he wouldn't intentionally ever hurt one of his sons and I won't allow you to either. I love you baby. Don't make me hurt me because when it comes Abel, I will."
"You're dead to me, bitch. You will never come around me or my family. My sons will never call you grandma again."
"I've been dead to you for a longtime. But it will not stop me from doing what I need to do. Or what your father would want me to do. This is who we really are. You've forgotten that somewhere along the way, Jackson."
Everyone was between us. There was no way a clean shot could have been taken by Jax to get to Kyle. The sadness felt from the only person who maintained communication in Jax's world, it was Chibs. He was the one who made Jax surrender the gun. Who could still somewhat reach him on the inside. The hate went beyond a man for a man. It was internal from brother to brother. I swear I didn't let out a breath until it was over. This time it was over but what about the next time when we weren't there to stop it?
"You are JT's son. The good part of him, I see him in you. Don't ever forget that, sweetheart." Gemma kissed Kyle's cheek. It left them both a little teary eyed from it. It was a connection moment of forgiveness between them. Almost sweet yet it wasn't. Almost cleansing of both their souls yet it didn't. Almost moving beyond the past yet there was no way in hell that would happen. Before everyone could regain their composure from this, it came. Hell was here before us.
The ground shook and fire was all you could see surrounding you. They were bombing us. We were found by the Cartel. Every step I took for cover led to another unsure place, unsure measure to take for protection. Unsure of how fate would play this one out. When the nuns and a man of God came with fire power, it was a battle of hell right here on earth for us.
They all were firing at the plane to take it out. After I managed to get back inside, I held on to the wall to walk to get back to the boys. Jax and Kyle passed me by as they went straight to Abel and Cody.
With the shattering glass, sounds of gun fire, explosions and echoing screams in the night. I could barely hear them. "Go." Nicole and I held on to each other and followed after them. We went where ever they took the boys to.
"I don't know which way to go." Jax stopped when we came to a corridor not sure if we needed to go left or right. There was an underground tunnel the priest told us to go down with the children. But which way would lead us to an escape and which way would take us straight to hell?
It was the nun. The one I saw but never found in the chapel. "Follow her."
"Follow who?" Jax said it but the rest agreed with him by the way they stared at me. They didn't see her either. Maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me, she was only a figment of my imagination. Maybe she was a spirit only I could see. Maybe I was wrong but it was a chance I'd have to take.
"Where are you going?" Jax's question wasn't answered. When I started in that direction so did Kyle and Nicole. With a long sigh Jax came with us.
This place was like a maze with all the twist and turns to it. It reminded me of my life. All the twist that came out and the turns I've taken. As the web was a tangled mess, so was this to find our way out.
When I'd stop and wasn't sure which way to go, I'd see her for brief seconds before she disappeared again. Until we could go no farther.
"It's here. This has to be it."
"This is a wall."
"It's behind the wall."
They handed the boys to us. Abel still had his bag attached to him. I held it up as high as I could and it was almost empty. Nicole was smart. She threw medical supplies in a bag as soon as the gun fire started. Although she wasn't certain what I exactly needed, she grabbed as much as she could. When your child's life was at stake it was surprising what a mother could actually do.
Kick after kick to the wall, Jax and Kyle broke through it. The tunnel lead us underground. We got the boys as far away from this place as we could. I had to get the bag from Abel. We stopped for a break so I could. Gently I pulled the needle out of his arm and pressed gauze to it.
Jax tried to use his cellphone to call the others. But had no reception to make one. He paced while I tended to our son. There was no turning back for us, I don't believe there ever really was. It was forward only with or without everyone else.
We had no idea what the end of the tunnel held for us. If there even was an end to it. What harms way it might put us in if we continued on. We knew for certain one thing, we couldn't go back. Just like I couldn't go back in life and do it all over again.
Just when you thought life couldn't take a turn for the worse, it proved you wrong. We were surrounded with about twenty men speaking a language we couldn't understand. Being held at gun point.
"Do you understand them?"
"Do I look Mexican to you?" Kyle had a smart ass answer for him.
"You're fucking worthless, I swear, Kyle."
"Oh yeah, and you so worldly, Jax. You don't understand them either."
"Will the both of you shut the fuck up already." When I screamed it at them. Even the men with guns looked confused at us.
I hope you enjoyed reading me.
My goal is to have the next two parts of Crossroads posted tomorrow. The chapters are extremely long and I have a lot of editing to still do.
There will be some new revelations come out, some that are already expected as well. At moments, you might think I have lost my mind. But I promise by the end, it will all make sense to you.
I thought about making a key map to the story. Posting it after the last chapter has been. Every chapter gave you a piece of the puzzle. If you read it again after knowing, it will be like a new story to you since it's gotten to be so long with so much information to process. I'm not sure anyone has an interest in it but if you do let me know and I post it.
Thank you to everyone who stayed with the story. It means a lot to me to hear from you. I appreciate all your messages and reviews.