Chapter 31
Crossroads~ Two realms touch a place literally. Neither here nor there; linked in between them. Used to summon a demon. In order to broker a supernatural deal with the devil.
Part 2 of 4
It gave an error several times when I tried to post it. If you got a notice it posted more than once, sorry about that.
When you were standing at the crossroads in your life. You needed to realize the greatest block you could put in front of yourself was the idea there was a right choice to be made. The way we choose to see the world; creates the world we see.
The harder you try to run from your sins, the more they caught up with you. They always did. We had our children once again faced with death and more chaos because of choices we made.
"I speak English. We want to help you."
But nothing in life was free. Neither was their assistance to us. They moved dope in the underground pipeline. The same pipeline that fed the Mayan their street drugs. Marcus and the men would prosper from it or we would be left here to parish. When Jax shook on it with the man, I cringed. I knew it was a bunch of bullshit. Only a fix for the moment. A temporary reprieve from what would come our way in the future from doing it. Once again, it would put my children in danger.
"There are others too. We can't get a hold of them on the cell from down here."
"We need to get to the plane. It will land for fuel, there is only forty five minutes to an hour window of time to board it. If we are not on it, we stay here and we're on our own. They know where and when they are supposed to be there, they will meet us there if they can. They won't leave the club members behind, trust me, it's what we do. The boys must be on that plane. It's the only chance they have to make it out of here."
Both Jax and Kyle weighed in on the situation. The guy rubbed the back of his neck while he thought. "I can get you above ground to make your call. But the others need to stay down here. It's the only way we can keep you safe from the cartel is to keep you out of sight."
Once Jax agreed to the terms, we continued on with them. They lit torches so we could see where we were going. They barely lit up our way, our way of which path was the best to take. It made me nervous the deeper in the tunnel we went with them. It was hell to be paranoid of everyone around you, they could mean harm to you or your children.
The underground was a sophisticated system, hidden away from the world. We stopped when we came up upon a group of women in their bras and underwear with nothing else on, not even shoes. They were bagging a white powder. With men standing around them, fire power in their hands.
"Cover the boys nose and mouth and hold your breath." I didn't want them to inhale any of it. They eventually gave us masks to wear because it took so long. While we waited until they loaded up a cart full of drugs.
The content of those bags was the payment we had to make for a safe passage out of here. They were to be delivered back to Charming and given to Marcus. If I had to guess, there were about eighty or more bricks of cocaine in them. If we got caught with them in Mexico or the United States, we would never see daylight again.
It didn't matter at this point. It was the only way to get the boys out of here. If I had to sit and rot in prison to save them, then so be it.
"Stop here. I will take you above ground to make your call."
We needed a break, I wasn't sure how many miles we had went trudging through the darkness. They climbed up wooden slats to the top. Once the tunnel was open, the bright rays of sunlight shown through.
It instantly warmed the skin on my face. A warmth I hadn't felt for a while. Just living was not enough, you cannot survive well without the sun. It brought a serenity of peace and peace was the beauty of your life. They say keep your face towards the sunshine and the shadows would fall behind you. When I looked at Abel, I knew what my sunshine really was.
Then came the reality of the gloom when I looked at my son as well. "Maybe the crows aren't here for you after all, Kyle."
"What?"
"The first I seen it, I thought I had a nightmare. Then the next time, I was wide awake. Hundreds of crows lead me through a path in the cemetery to my own grave. Buried beside me, was my son."
It just came out before I thought of what I actually said and who I said it in front of. Nicole had her mouth open looking back and forth between us. Kyle even seemed more shocked by it.
"You never told me that before."
"Honestly, I tried to put it out of my mind. I don't think I will survive all of this. If I die, Abel is destined to without me."
"Nothing is going to happen to you, girl."
There should be no shame in our tears. They were the rain upon the blinding dust of the earth, overlaying the hardness of our hearts. In the past I felt better after I cried; sorrier, more aware of my own ingratitude and even more gentle. But, what does it mean when I shed none now? Had my heart hardened so I felt nothing inside? Was I the one who was broken past repair? Or had I just accepted my fate?
The circle of light got smaller when the hatch above us closed. My fingers reached out to touch it, to feel that warmth once more. There were no stars, no moon, only knots twisted together of shades of black, white and grey. It only left the promise of death. Drums cried out in the abyss and then fade with everything else. Even the shadows faded away.
As the darkness grew back around me, my beam of light was fading off in the distance. I was suspended in the moment. Flickering images faded as I aged, frozen thoughts hovering precariously in dead space, a whirlwind of memories that sliced through my soul.
"Are you okay?" Kyle whispered as we gathered up things to get back on the move again.
"I'm fine." I gave a smile with it to be convincing but I wasn't to him. He seen through it.
We kept moving for hours. Then we came to the end of the tunnel. An end of something should mean a new beginning of something else but, it didn't for me. Maybe it never would.
They carried the bags of drugs from the cart as we walked behind them until we got to the airstrip. It was a beautiful sight to be seen finally.
A guy dressed in camouflage from the plane met us. He was aware of the lie we were living. Jax and Kyle tossed the bags on board the plane. While Nicole and I got the boys settled in.
There was one passenger we didn't think we would see, Pops. "Where's Gemma?"
"We don't know."
He must have gotten the hint of sorrow I said it with. He didn't ask anything else before he disappeared from our sight.
After the plane was fueled it was time for us to leave but there was no sign of the others yet. "Just five more minutes. They are on their way." Jax stood outside smoking waiting on them.
"Five more and no more than that." Pops checked his watch, grasp his hand together behind his back. He appeared stiff as he stood there. But I had a feeling, he meant exactly what he had said too.
The door was starting to close. They still weren't here. The engine started up and we began to move slowly. The plane was granted permission for takeoff. They still weren't here.
As the plane progressed forward to the runway a horn was honking loudly. It was two trucks full of the guys. They pulled up along beside the plane. Gemma was helped across first. When Derrick and Bobby's wrapped up bodies came through the door. I thought, they really leave no man behind.
All of them had made it in except Tig, he was driving the last truck. Jax held out his hand while he stood on the opened door. "Jump."
Kyle even joined him. "We will catch you, Tig."
It was a split second. The outcome could have gone either way. Somehow, someway they got in the plane just before the wheels left the ground of the runway. We were in flight finally.
"You know man, you would make a good member in the club, Kyle. I'd sponsor you." The hate in Jax's eyes shown through at Tig's comment. Tig shrugged it off. "I'm just saying."
Chibs smacked Tig on the back of the head when he passed by him. "Too soon to make that comment?" Chibs only nodded.
"Miss me Gemma?"
Gemma didn't say a word to Pop. Nero did though. He stuck out his hand. "Nero Padilla, I'm Gemma's husband. I don't think we were introduced before."
"I feel sorry for you." Pops left after he said it. He took the seat in the cockpit with the pilot.
It should have been easy from here. A clear shot back to where we came from. It was anything but that. Bullets were pinging off the plane.
"Pops, they are on the radio."
"This is Lieutenant Rodriguez, we are commanding you to land the plane. You are in foreign air without permission and harboring fugitives."
"This is Colonel Robert Brandon with the United States Marines. I am afraid I cannot and will not do that." Pops returned the mic back to the radio. "Brace yourselves against something. Nerd, come on man get it done."
Eric was typing as fast as his fingers could fly on the keyboard. A long red solid line came across the screen. Making a beep noise with each tick of it that went down. "Seven minutes, Pops."
"Seven fucking minutes are you kidding me?" I felt like the pilot did. That was a long damn time to wait and I had no clue what the hell we were waiting for.
"We are confiscating the plane, passengers and the cargo. Land now, or we will shoot you down. This is your last warning." They weren't joking about it or playing around either. The bullets were release in rapid fire at us.
"Get us out of here Captain."
"I'm trying Pops. This is not a jet fighter, it's a damn cargo plane." A red light went off. "Oh shit." I didn't like the way he said it.
The plane's nose went almost straight up in the air. "Missile fire." I really hated the way he screamed that.
Suddenly, we were falling backwards. Like when we jumped out of the plane, just a slow and steady fall. Floating almost, suspended in the air. "Start you, son of a bitch." Okay, now I was at a panic at that statement.
The good thing was, the missile exploded and it didn't hit us or kill us. The bad news, when he killed the engine, it wouldn't start again. We were saved from a fiery death but we were plunging towards the ground to die.
Once the engine fired up, I think my fear of heights were cured. It wasn't my worst fear now. Because if we managed to land this bitch, I would never fly again. That problem was easily solved.
"You are engaged in unauthorized military warfare with the United States of America military personal."
"You engaged us by being in our country. We have the right to defend it."
"I repeat, you are engaged in unauthorized military warfare with the United States."
"Now Pops. It's locked in." The bar was completely gone on Eric's screen. All you could see was a red dot growing larger and larger.
"Over American soil and airspace, asshole." Pops held the mic up high and some of the guys yelled. "Alpha, Michael, Foxtrot. Adios mother fuckers." It was the last communication sent over the radio.
We felt turbulence, that was understatement when a round of missiles was fired from the helicopter they called in. As it flew over the top of us and took the helicopter head on who had been chasing us. From the blast, we were tossed around. I held on to Abel as tightly as I could. Just as when he was a tiny baby, I cuddled him to my chest and rocked him.
You would think I would be ecstatic to be out of all that shit. However, we had a new problem. Different lights and sirens were going off on the plane. "The gas tank has been hit, we have to land now. We won't make it to a military base before we crash land."
Jax made several calls until he got a hold of him. "Elliot gave us permission to land there." Jax handed over his cell to the pilot.
There never came a time when I thought I would be excited about being back in Charming. When the wheels touched down on the airstrip, I actually had a smile on my face. We made it through it alive one more time.
But the welcome home party wasn't exactly what we expected it to be. A lot of Mayans along with Marcus was parked on their bikes waiting for us. He had some serious connections to know where we were going to land at.
We didn't advertise what was in the bags but it wouldn't be hard for everyone to figure out what it was now. They threw them all in a pile for the Mayans. One of the guys unzipped each one then whispered in Marcus' ear.
"He said the load is short."
"Then he counted it wrong because it's all there." Jax lit up a smoke and you could cut the tension between him and Marcus.
Marcus counted the bricks for himself. He didn't want there to be any mistakes made. "The load is five bricks shy, esse."
"This is what they gave me. Maybe some of it fell off in the tunnel."
"You expect me to believe five bricks of blow magically disappeared."
"I don't care what you believe. We didn't take your shit.'' Jax stood his ground but I knew for a fact that was the exact count given to us.
They argued with each other, issued threats back and forth and basically got nowhere with it. Until I had enough of it. "I swear on my son's life. Those bags never left my sight and no one touched them. Every second is crucial to the boys' care. We have to go."
"Fine, I'll call them and see what happened to the rest of it. But if you're lying to me Jax, this one will not go unanswered. You need to come by to sign over the Lodge." Marcus was aggressive with actions when he stated it.
"I will once I get some shit settled with the club. I may need a minute before I can."
"I suggest you get your shit settled by tomorrow. If I don't see you, I will pay a visit to Charming." Alverez motioned for his guys to load up the drugs.
It was always an escape of one fucked up event just to go to another one. But I only had one thing on my mind, get the boys to the hospital. I'd have to tell more lies to cover up the truth. For them, it was what I would do.
Wayne, Quinn and a couple of prospects were waiting with vehicles to give us a ride. It looked like Hells Angels had crossed over with Platoon when all us were going towards the hospital doors.
"Everyone needs to wait out here until Nicole and I check the boys in."
All I got was flak from them. Questing why they had to stay outside until I blew up.
"Which part would you like for me to tell them. Our children were kidnapped because an illegal drug deal that went bad. They were taken by the Mexican Cartel and held for ransom of their drugs. How we all snuck across the border and had a felony charge of a lifetime sentence of blow with us when we came back. Killed people to get them out of there. They contracted a virus that we just brought back to the United States because we didn't go through proper customs." They were all quiet and had no response to it. "That's what I thought. Again, only Nicole and I will go in with the boys until I get them checked in. Then you can see them. Until then, all of you stay the hell out of the hospital and let me handle it."
It gave them something else to argue about. Jax basically let them all know their presences was no longer needed in Charming. They didn't need to wait around here. Thomas saw it differently. "I might take up permanent residence here just to piss you off. You will find Jax, if you push me, I push back." I only rolled my eyes and went to do the most important thing, take care of the boys.
It almost worked pushing my way through the doors and putting the boys on a gurney without questions. Until the nurse at the front desk stopped me.
"I am Dr. Knowles. I will walk them through the process."
"That isn't standard hospital procedure Doctor."
"Nurse, please understand I say this with respect to you. Not only is the patient my son but his life is in danger. I do not have time for this. Your paperwork process means nothing to me at the moment. I will get these forms back to you when I am finished checking them in. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Doctor."
The fewer people involved in the process, the better. If I had to fake a little paperwork, then so be it. The last thing that could happen is the hospital to notify the CDC. Once the Center for Disease Control got involved, the federal agency would conduct a complete investigation. They would find out where the boys had been, what really made them ill. I would lose my son because of all this shit. This way all I lost was my career. Which, had been failing for some time now because of my association with the club and other choices I made.
At this point, it didn't matter what I stated was wrong with them, Nicole would swear to it too. When I had to choose the cover story. It made sense to say it was food poisoning, hot dogs. No one could dispute it or verify it. They had similar symptoms and if no one was the wiser, I would get away with it.
In rooms side by side I put the boys on the children's floor. I gave specific orders no one in or out of their rooms without my saying it was alright. The nurse on duty I knew well. She didn't even give it a second thought. Told me she would let me know how they were after she checked their vitals.
Now came the hard part. I had to figure out how to cleanse the blood and administer the blood transfusion so no one found out about it.
After I drew three vials of their blood. I started the IV in their hands. They were badly dehydrated and had lost so much weight.
Nicole stayed with them when I dropped off the blood to the lab. I paced, fretted and worried until the results came back.
"Tara, what does it say?" Nicole was so quiet when she asked. I knew it was a mother's fear.
"It's working. The effects of the virus are being reversed. We just have to keep cleansing their blood."
We cried tears of joy together. First in Abel's room, then in Cody's.
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~
In the middle of the night, I used my access key to open the dialyses room. I hooked the boys up to a machine and prayed no one came in. How would I explain this?
The process was a lot faster here than in Mexico, it only took an hour to complete. I stripped the machines of the dirty tubes and replaced them with new ones. I wheeled one bed at a time back to their room.
Doing it on the night shift had its advantages, less people around to witness it. I hooked up the blood bags to each of them. Paced back and forth between the rooms to head off anyone who wanted to go in. Once I gave a nurse a bullshit task to do. It kept her out of the room until the bag was finished.
My eyes were heavy and I yawned a couple of times before I pulled a chair up next to Abel's bed. I would catch a few hours of sleep then get up to make my rounds.
Just when I had relaxed my body, it was engulfed in a sensational warm feeling. When I felt a hand on my face, I was wide awake.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Kyle had covered me up with a heated blanket. His hand brushed the hair away from my face.
"Want to share it with me?"
He only smiled as he put a chair beside mine. I leaned my head on his shoulder. With my hand in his I drifted off. Until I heard his voice.
"Tara, the nurse is in here."
She looked at us huddled together but didn't say anything. It was time to make my rounds and get up anyway. "Tara." Nicole was in a panic when she came in or so I thought. When she came to get me.
Cody was awake. He seemed a little stiff and on the weak side. But that was normal since he hadn't really used his muscles in a while.
"Where is Abel?"
"He is in his room. Are you feeling better?"
Cody insisted he needed to see him. Kyle carried Cody in the room and pulled his IV stand beside them. Abel still hadn't woken up yet. It worried me even though all his heart test came back good. It was a miracle that they were so good.
Once Cody's little feet hit the floor, he did something we didn't understand. He searched through the drawers for something. He looked all around the room too. My metal to go coffee mug was setting on the nightstand by Abel's bed. It was empty but it still seems to fascinate him.
After Cody carefully balanced the cup in his hand, he crawled up to the foot of the bed. His attention was directed at the door. He never took his eyes away from it. "It's okay Abel. You sleep, I will protect you."
"Buddy, what are you doing?" Kyle set down next to him. It still did not defer his attention away from the door.
"Waiting for the bad people to come in."
"You are safe Cody and so is Abel. You never have to worry about someone hurting you as long as I am around."
The damage was done to those boys. There was no telling what they went through while they were separated from us. They knew what real fear meant.
Kyle continued to talk to Cody. As Kyle tried to pick him up from the bed to take him back to his room. Cody screamed his head off. He wasn't going to leave Abel without a fight. It was about as heartbreaking to watch as them being gone from us.
"You can stay a little longer, then you have to go back to your room."
Eventually, Cody calmed down and relaxed. He laid his head down at the end of the bed and held on to Abel's foot. Cody tried his best to stay awake as his little eyes were heavy. About as heavy as mine and Nicole's heart were from watching our boys go through this.
The silence in the room wasn't any comfort. Kyle went to pick him up after he was asleep but I stopped him. "It's okay let Cody stay in here. He is exhausted and needs to rest. Somehow, I think it makes Abel feel better too because he is here with him."
It was the same routine as soon as Abel woke. After I almost smothered him with kisses that was. He wanted to see Cody.
"Abel."
"Cody."
Those two little boys collide together in a tight embrace. It was the first time they seen each other since we brought them home. Something told me there was no keeping them apart either.
The day passed by rather quickly. I downed cups of coffee to keep motivated to stay on the move. Our boys were awake and doing well. I must of made ten trips by their rooms just to check on them.
When I had to go, Nicole stayed with Cody and Kyle stayed with Abel. I didn't want to leave the boys but I didn't want to miss saying goodbye to Bobby either.
They couldn't do a funeral for him. Everyone would have found out. So, they took him to his favorite place. The woods out back of the cabin.
"Juice, can you give me a minute with Bobby?"
"Sure. Come on guys."
This seemed so wrong to do it this way. Bobby was all alone out here. No family near to grieve the loss. He didn't even get a casket or a proper burial. Not as much as a headstone to put his mark on this earth. "I am so sorry."
There was nothing but a cold hole in the ground dug for him. Still wrapped up in the same white sheets. This was no way to die. No way to leave this earth. With no send off, no sermon, no family. No flowers surrounding him. "I will plant flowers out here for you to look at. You deserve so much more than this."
All that was left of Bobby was his leather they draped across him. The longer I stared at it, the reaper seemed to be taunting me. Staring through to my very soul. The human skeleton was a powerful visual symbol. It came to represent the remains; that was left to see after life has ended. After the flesh and mind cease to function. All you had left was the soul; sometimes just a lost soul looking for their way home.
"I know you gave your life up to save mine. A simple thank you is not enough for what you did. They say the more you believe in angels, the more you see them around you. Your angels are listening and flying high around you, I just know it. Wherever you are, may God's angels be watching over you. Just talk to them Bobby, ask for their help and guidance. You can finally find the peace you always searched for."
"Nice speech, sweetheart." Gemma had been standing behind me. I didn't know how much she heard nor did I care.
"It's not a speech. I meant it."
"Right."
Gemma needed her time to say goodbye to Bobby too. I went back inside the cabin. They were going to bury him when she was done and I couldn't stand to watch.
Jax went back outside before they proceed with it. To see Bobby one more before he was covered up. Gemma and I walked out to the cars together. Not a word spoken between us. Not that I knew what I should say anyway.
The bikes pulled out behinds us. We followed each other back to town. Only we made an abrupt halt on the interstate when we drove in to an ambush. Bullets were flying ever where around me. I laid down in the seat after I pulled over. The guys were already off their bikes firing shots back at them.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
My car wasn't though. It was riddled with bullet holes. So was the back seat. The broken glass covered it. When I saw the holes in the car seat, I couldn't catch my breath. The queasy feeling deep in the pit of my stomach made my body hurt.
"Tara."
"I need to get out of here."
"Rat, follow Tara home for me. Stay with her until I get there."
Jax gave me a peck on the cheek before the rest of them rode off together. My hands shook when I put them on the wheel.
"Do you want me to drive?"
"No, I'm fine."
If my children had been in the car with me, they wouldn't have been fine. Nothing in the world would have been fine with what happened tonight.
Once I made it inside the house. I went to the spot I had spent so much time at. The rocking chair. In it I had rocked my sons. Held my babies in my arms pondering what would happen next.
'I never made a conscious decision to have the club become one thing or another. It just happened before my eyes. Each savage event was a catalyst for the next. And by the time the violence reached epic proportion, I couldn't see it. Blood was every color.'
"I don't think I made a lot of conscious decisions either, John. I must now. There are not many choices left for me or my boys."
The main goal of the future was to stop the violence. Shut it all down around you. The world was addicted to it though, not just the club. Our children were the true future. Once the violence started taking them, we had nothing left. Without them, I had nothing left.
It was hard to even pack a bag for Abel. Take him away from his home again. How much more of this shit could my son endure before permanent damage was done to him? I picked up Kenny's football from the floor. I thought of him and sister too. Had they already been damaged beyond repair?
"Are you okay?" Jax brought me out of my thoughts. He leaned against the door frame waiting for me to answer. It was a rhetorical question as far as I was concerned.
"I didn't get shot tonight in the attack. So, I guess that's a plus."
"It wasn't an attack."
"We saw it and witnessed it. What the hell do you call it then?"
"Alvarez was just sending a message. They could have killed us if they wanted to but they didn't." Jax acted like we should be grateful nothing more devastating came out of it. I wasn't.
"The violence has got to stop, Jax. Give Marcus what he wants, the Lodge, you said you would."
"And I will give him the damn Lodge. Once the club gets back on its feet again. I'll work something out until then." From Jax's reply, I knew he had no intentions of doing it. He was going back on his word and we would all suffer the consequences of it.
"Until then. Jesus Christ, what does it take to get through to you? If they had been there, one of the kids could have been killed tonight. We have Abel back and I still can't shake the feeling something really bad is going to happen to them if we stay in Charming. They are destined to repeat our history, our mistakes."
"But, the kids weren't there. I will handle it." There were times Jax mirrored Gemma perfectly. Others, I had no idea where in the hell he was coming from.
"Violence kills compassion, burns your soul away and makes you live in a dark place. After you live in that place it takes you to, there is no going back. I never want our children to know that place. I am begging you one more time, to leave here with me and the kids. There is nothing to keep us here any longer. I feel like this is our last chance to get out."
"After Opie died, I feel like if I walk away now. Everything he did was for nothing. Now is not a good time. The club is moving in the right direction…"
"You need to decide what you love the most; your family or your club."
Before we could discuss it any farther, Jax's cell rang. "We got to go."
"What's wrong?"
"They found Quinn and a couple of the Prospects."
It was all the details Jax would give me. But, it didn't prepare me for the what we seen when we arrived at the clubhouse. I brought my medical bag but it was of no use. There were already gone and no one could save them now.
"Jesus Christ."
The three of them were chained up to the fence outside of the garage. Large spikes drove through their hands and feet. They were crucified for the sins of the club.
"We go to Alvarez right now and fucking kill him."
"Jackie, we can't roll up on him and kill him. We only got a few members left."
"We do this now."
"You need a club vote for that."
"You vote Chibs. Look at what he did to them."
"Jax, I got Alvarez on the prepay." Tig intervened between them.
The violence had reached the epic proportions that John spoke of. Power acquired by violence is only usurpation. Once they seize the throne from the prior king, they become even more evolved in the evil. Than the one they took it from. It would only last if the one who enforces it prevails. For the cycle to continue with the next one.
When Jax returned from talking with Marcus, it worse than we even thought. "Alvarez says the Mayans didn't do this. They popped off some rounds tonight at us, he admitted to that part because he is pissed off about the Lodge. But this shit, he swears they had nothing to do with it."
"Then who did it?"
"I don't know. But we need to find out. Nobody rides alone and we put our families on lock down to keep them safe."
"I have to get to Abel. What if they try to do something to him?"
We had only been back a day and already a new threat was among us. Which enemy was trying to wipe out the club and could hurt us now? All the shit that ran through your mind when you couldn't get past one crises before another struck.
When we finally made it to the hospital. I opened the door to Abel's room, he was fine. I let out a sigh of relief. Only to be brought out of it quickly. He was safe for the moment, just this moment for all I knew.
Those uncertain moments turned to days. About a week in fact. The boys were progressing well. Still a little weak at times, they slept a lot. We finally moved them in the same room to be together. It seemed to make them happy. They had formed a bond and it was a strong bond between them.
"Mommy."
"Yes, Abel."
"Don't forget the chicken nuggets."
"I won't, baby."
Their food order was totally ridiculous. It ranged from everything to French Fries to gummy bears and pizza. I had to go several places to get it all. But, I didn't care. Today, they would get whatever their little hearts desired.
"Cody, you moved a lot more than two purple spaces. That's cheating." Cody smacked his forehead when Uncle Kyle corrected him.
"I'm sorry, Abel." He moved Abel's blue gingerbread man up alongside his to almost the finish line.
"Hey, what about me?" What Kyle said had no effect on either one of them. They continued to giggle while they drew more cards. "We're having a hot game of Candy Land which, I'm losing."
"I see that. Come on boys, let's put the game away for now and eat." I didn't have to say it twice either. Eat, they did.
The cart I pulled over to the bed was full of food. Somethings they only took a bite of before they moved on to the next thing. Others, they finished it off. I didn't care what they ate, as long as they did. They needed to get back to a healthy weight again.
"This is the last blood transfusion you boys will get. We can take you home soon."
They seemed really excited at the news. When I was putting Abel's band aid on his arm. His little face looked puzzled.
"Kyle."
"What buddy?"
"Cody is related to his mommy. Are we related now that I have your blood? Is that why I only get your blood?"
The response wasn't nothing any of us expected. We hadn't even noticed Jax was standing at the door. "No, you are not related to him."
"Daddy."
It warmed me to watch how excited Abel was to see Jax. His little arms went around his father's neck. Abel only seen him as a man, not a SOA member. Not someone who brought danger in our lives. Still not the way a son should see their father though.
"I should go." Each time they met only became more intense. Kyle left what few times Jax came to see his son to avoid problems.
"Yeah, you should." Jax made his feelings on the subject perfectly clear and known to all in the room.
Nicole made small talk with Jax. She made a point to always ask how he was when he came. He seemed alright with her. But, I knew Kyle was worried Jax would do something to her to hurt him. The saddest part was, I couldn't argue anymore Jax wouldn't do it.
Only this time Jax ignored Nicole when she talked to him. Out the door he went after Kyle. I got tired of playing referee between them. But, I went to do it anyway. They were in front of the elevators when I caught up with them.
"That boy will grow up to hate you. He will see you for what you really are. There won't be anything about you he doesn't hate. All the pain you cause his mother and the shit you do to her. He won't forget either. I am not the obstacle between you and Abel, you are Jax."
"What about you? We are not that different. We got the same old man. You are a killer just like me. The problem is you try to glorify it."
"The hell we're not different." Kyle finally pushed the button on the elevator door to put an end to their bickering. Until it closed they didn't stop staring at each other.
Perhaps I should have let them be. Jax turned his attention to me. "How did you find out he is JT's kid?"
"John was going to divorce Gemma and take you away from Charming. I think he felt it was the only way he could save you from the club, from the evil he created. He was in love with Kyle's mother and intended to have a life with her. Clay couldn't let John dissolve the club and just walk away. So, Clay killed him. In my opinion, it wasn't over guns."
"I am sure it was Gemma's idea to kill JT. Clay was just her puppet she used to get it done." Jax said nothing else to me when he was done. I kept saying his name. He got on the elevator and left too.
"Is everything alright?"
"No, nothing is right anymore. Will you do something for me, Margret?"
"What?"
"I need a copy of a death certificate."
"Whose?"
"Thomas Teller." Just like the crows, I couldn't leave this alone either.
"Hey, Tara." Nicole came to find me with her cellphone in hand. It was a surprise for the boys.
"There is someone here to see you." The boys were confused when I pulled open the blind to their room. "Come over here."
"George." They were beyond excited. Their little hands pressed to the glass. Talking to that silly dog like he could hear them. The dog had grown from a puppy.
The boys jabbered to each other about what they were going to do with the dog when they got out of here. Kyle led George back to Tig. They stayed in front of the window until they were gone.
"Back to bed boys."
"How much longer do we have to stay, Mommy?"
"Just a few more days then you get to go home."
"Yay. Can we have some pudding?"
"Yes, you may. I will be right back with it."
They weren't gaining weight as rapidly as I would like to see. They were making progress though. When they started getting restless and didn't want to stay in bed, I knew they were better.
At least physically they were better, emotionally we still had a long way to go with them. They would say things about certain moments they remembered while they were gone. The saddest part, the virus put them out, they were in a sleep state of mind. In the long run, it saved them from horrible memories of what they truly went through. I don't think they knew the difference; if some of it was just a bad dream and what was the truth.
Kyle handled it better than any of us when they asked questions or had a painful memory. They were telling him about some of it when I returned with their pudding.
"Um…they wore black mask. We couldn't see their face."
"Was it like a Halloween mask?"
"Abel, is it Halloween?"
"I don't know, Cody. I will have to ask Mommy."
Kyle planted the seed of doubt in their minds. Was it truly bad people under those masks or was it not real at all. I still feared those scars would surface someday for those little boys. However, all they cared about now was eating their pudding cups.
"Guess what, Mommy?"
"What baby?"
"Me and Cody decided we are brothers."
Kyle and I both froze. Unsure how to approach this one and what all they heard when they were out. We talked freely around them several times. I tried to change the subject. For Abel or Cody to go right back to the same thing.
"They asked us if were brothers. Which one of us is Jax's son. We told them we were brothers. So, now we are."
To them it was as simply as that but it really wasn't. They saved each other. The boys had no idea what could have transpired if they told the Cartel they weren't brothers. They could have killed Cody because he would have been no use to them. Abel could have gotten tortured because he was Jax's son. I hid the tears away. I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
When I came back out, I didn't understand at first. Then I understood it all. Those two little boys had a bond that could never be broken. With a small poke of the knife on their little fingers, a droplet of blood rose to the surface from each of them. Kyle pressed their fingers together in the palm of his hands. The boys didn't flinch or even acted like it hurt them.
"Repeat after me. We are brothers now shared by blood, not by the same parents. We will always watch out for each other and be family no matter how far apart we are."
The boys said it all mostly in unison. Once it was done my sweet baby boy made me smile. "Do we get a cake now?"
"Nice try buddy. But, it's not your birthday."
"How about ice cream then?"
"What flavor?" Kyle was already up and at the door when they told him what they wanted. We were caving to these little boys every whim. It would change once they went home. But for the moment, they were our little princes who could command us to do most anything they wanted.
"How are the boys?" Margret came in and took their charts. I got nervous as she examined them. If anyone found out, we could all suffer serious consequences.
"Better."
"I noticed Abel doesn't have the insurance information on here. I will get that updated for you."
"That won't be necessary, we are paying cash for the stay. Thank you for your help though, Margret."
"Why on earth would you do that?"
"Margret, can I talk to you for a moment out in the hall?"
"Certainly. Are the boys alright?"
"They are getting stronger every day. But, I need a favor from you."
"What is it?"
"The truth is, they don't have food poisoning. I need this kept off the record. No one else can know."
"What do they have?"
"Let's go in my office. This is a very long story."
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~
There always comes a point in time. Where you have to give up your whole life for one thing. Or give up that one thing for whole another life.
"Thank you, Nero. I appreciate you going with me."
"Sure, mama."
"How is Gemma? She hasn't been to see Abel in a couple of days. That's really unlike her."
"With Gem, it takes her a while to come around. When it comes to Abel and Thomas, I know she will. Maybe you should give her a call. Try to mend that barrier between the two of you."
"Yeah, I should call her. I'm just not sure what I should say to her, you know."
"Say what is in your heart, Tara. What you would what someone to say to you in this situation."
Nero made a lot of sense. I would give it a try. But, everything else around me, didn't make any fucking sense at all. Including what I was about to do. It wouldn't make any sense to Jax, it made perfect sense to me though.
I was happy Nero was with me when we walked in the Lodge. Everything had changed in it, it looked nothing like what it once had. Yet, it was still the same, a whore house.
"We are here to see Marcus." Nero took the lead and I was grateful. They all looked me up and down. Of course, they knew who I was and who I was married to. You never knew if they would shoot first, then ask why I was here later.
They patted Nero down. After they took his gun, the guy let us pass by him. I knew it was a precautionary measure. How one act of violence escalated to another, then another.
"He's in the kitchen."
When I saw Marcus' attire, I wanted to laugh. He wore his normal Mayan leather and cowboy boots. Along with a long white apron that said; Kiss the Cook. A big white floppy chef's hat too.
"Nero, Tara, what brings you here?"
"I came here to give you the Lodge as Jax agreed to."
"Just like that, no strings attached."
"I only ask one thing of you, Marcus."
"What is that, Ms. Tara?"
"To stop the violence against my family. At least over this deal, you can have the Lodge free and clear. You helped get the children out of Mexico and I am in your debt for it. But, killing shit now, is just wasted blood and will bring more deaths between the Sons and Mayans. Please, no more violence in Charming where my children can get hurt."
"Does Jax see things this way too?"
"No, Jax doesn't. He doesn't even know I'm here. I'm trying to keep the deal made to bring the boys home. They made it home, now, I am keeping my word to you."
The papers were already drawn up. It only took a couple of signatures along with a notary. They witnessed me sign them and put the official stamp on it. This was done.
"I would guess Jax will be mad when he finds out you signed it over to me."
"Yes, I am sure he will be. That is my burden to bare, not yours. Just like your problems with Jax, shouldn't become mine or my children's problems."
"We didn't have anything to do with the Sons that died. But, I give you my word, no more violence about the Lodge in Charming. If Jax crosses me again or comes at me or my club. That deal, is off the table."
"Understood." I couldn't prevent the violence from happening forever. I was only kidding myself if I thought I could. At least I could sleep better now to know the Mayan wouldn't be visiting Charming again tonight. Especially over something I had the ability to change.
Marcus went over to the oven and pulled out trays of tamales. He put one on a plate, handed it to me and a plate to Nero. When Nero set his down, so did I. I wasn't sure if I should eat it or not.
A laugh came from Marcus. He unwrapped one then took a bite. "You should try it, it's really good."
Just one bite into it, my mouth was set ablaze. My eyes were watering as I chewed it. "Spicy."
"That is the mild batch."
When Nero finished off a few of them, we left. I had to get ready for Derrick's service. There probably wouldn't be an ambush at this one. Or I hoped not.
"Thanks, Nero. You have been very kind to me and the boys."
"We're family Tara. That's what we should all do for each other."
As I got out of the car. I saw her. I wouldn't have to make that call, Gemma was here. I gave Nero a strange look.
"I called Gem when you were talking to Marcus. She just wants to be around the boys. You know how head strong she can be. It's now on you two where the relationship goes."
Kyle was talking with Gemma when I walked up. She had a big bag in her hand. From it, she brought out a white box and gave it to him. It was a silver gun with a pearl handle.
"It was John's service pistol."
"I can't take this. It should go to Jax."
"Jackson never liked it, he doesn't want it. You should have it. I think John would want you too."
"Thank you, Gemma." After Kyle hugged her. He left to get ready for Derrick's service.
We walked together to the boys' room. There wasn't much conversation between us but it was a start to mend what had been broken.
"Look what Grandma brought you."
She handed Abel a black monkey. It made monkey sounds when you pushed his belly. Then said, 'I love you' with a smack for a kiss. She took a white one out too and gave it to Cody. The boys were thrilled and kept pushing their bellies.
"Do you want to trade me, Abel?"
"Okay."
"Grandma picked out the black one special for you Abel. I got it blessed and everything. You keep him with you when I'm not around to watch over you, okay?"
"Okay, Grandma. I will."
Nicole and I were really confused by it all. How in the hell did you get a monkey blessed? But, it made our boys happy so we could care less.
"I will stay with Nicole and the boys while you're gone. If that's alright?"
"I think that's great, Gemma. Abel misses you. He asked about you." It made her smile even though she didn't comment back to me. "I will have Thomas, Ellie and Kenny back tonight. I know they will want to see you too."
"I'll come by the clubhouse tomorrow."
It made me feel better knowing Gemma was here. As crazy as she was, she loved the boys with all her heart. Crazy grandma would never let anything happen to them with her around.
Since I was running late, I had to hustle to my office and change. Dresses just weren't my thing. I wore black pants with a nice black silk blouse. Quickly brushed my hair out and took off.
This ceremony was a scam. Derrick's body was so badly decomposed because it wasn't properly cared for after his death. They had no choice but to cremate him. His mother was unaware of it. She believed in the closed casket was her son's body they were laying to rest. When in fact they were burring a pile of ashes.
Most of the guys were outside dressed in their military uniforms talking with each other. Except Kyle. When I went inside he was focused on the picture setting on the American flag draped on top of the casket. It was of Derrick dressed up in his uniform.
"I should be the one in there, not him."
"I am grateful for what Derrick did. But I am also grateful it's not you, Kyle."
In Kyle's hand was a brass container. He clutched on to it when a couple of tears escaped him. He wouldn't let go when I tried to take it out of his hand but finally did. A purple heart was inside of it. On the back was; Kyle A. Brandon.
"Derrick is the real hero." Kyle stood before Derrick's parents. Saluted his father, the General. Then handed it to him. The General smiled as he put his hand on Kyle's shoulder.
Thomas stood with me until Kyle was done talking with them. "Kyle, this isn't your fault. Derrick knew the risk just like the rest of us did. There is no more honorable kind of death, than what he died from."
"Sure, tell that to his grieving mother." Kyle said it in passing. He didn't stop walking until he made it out the door.
Thomas introduced me to the parents. I kept my word to Derrick. I told them how much he loved them and how proud I was of him. As they should be.
"May I speak with you in private Mrs. Teller?"
The General went in an empty room. He shut the door behind us, let out a long sigh and set down in the chair. The wall had his complete attention when he spoke to me. It took him a while to gets his words in order.
"Derrick's mother doesn't know what really happened to him or where he was and she never will. But, I do know the truth. I took an oath to never reveal military information to a civilian. My son took that same oath. He also, took one to always put other's lives ahead of his own to serve and protect his country, along with the Americans in it. That's what he did. I couldn't be prouder of my son. The information you obtain about their mission, should be forgotten and never discussed with anyone."
"They saved my son unselfishly. I will never say anything to anyone."
"If you will excuse me, I need to begin the service."
The General tucked his hat under his left arm. Slowly took the long walk down the aisle. He stood before the casket, what was left of his son and saluted him. The others followed suit. They stood and saluted their fallen brother. As he laid the purple heart next to Derrick's picture, then they all set down.
It didn't last long after the preacher spoke words over Derrick for it to be over. His poor mother was having a hard time letting go as she passed by his casket one last time. I skipped the line to go by the casket. "I know you found your way home, Derrick. I am so sorry."
The bathroom offered me a moment alone to let out my emotions. I wiped my face before I went back out to where everyone was.
"She's in labor." Meat was rattled by it. I watched him face danger and death without showing one single emotion. When it came to her, he was a blubbering mess of a man.
They were shuffling cars around to try to get him out of the parking lot. Finally, Thomas gave Meat a ride since he was parked in the front.
"I am going to hospital to support Meat. I will see you later, girl."
"I will see you later, boy."
It was true when one life ended a new one was born. A clean slate for a child brought in this world. A refreshed soul who had their whole life a head of them to still live. So much happiness came with a birth, so much sadness when their day of death came.
By the time, I made it back to the hospital and made my rounds. It was just Nicole with the boys. Gemma had left a little while ago when Nero called her.
Cody threw a card down on the bed. "I bet my monkey for your elephant." They were using animal crackers as poker chips.
It was Abel's turn. He threw down a card too. "I want two of your monkeys for my elephant because it's a bigger animal."
"Okay."
"What are they playing?"
"I have no idea. But it's entertaining them."
Nicole and I just watched them play. Being normal children without a worry around them. Since, she hadn't had a break. I told her I would stay with them while she went to get something to eat.
"Do you want me to bring you anything back?"
"No thanks."
"We do." The boys gave her several items they wanted.
While the boys played, I caught up on hospital paperwork. I signed my name to several documents. Fake documents I might add.
Kyle made his way back too after his sister returned.
"What did they have?"
"Twin boys. They named them Christopher Abel and Dwayne Cody."
In a strange way, what happened to our boys impacted the lives of others around them. It brought sorrow, death and hurt for a lot. On the good side, with them naming the newborn babies after them. Abel and Cody became brothers today. Their names would live on as that.
"Did you boys hear that? They named their babies after you."
It didn't have any effect on them at all. They glanced in my direction for a brief moment. Then went back to watching the cartoon on the television.
"I need to go. Your aunt and uncle is bringing the kids home. I can't wait to see them."
However, Kyle didn't share my excitement. This was the beginning to the end of line for him. "I will come by to say goodbye to Ellie and Kenny." Before I could say anything, Kyle gave me a kiss on the cheek and disappeared.
On the way to the clubhouse. I caught myself speeding several times. I had to breathe and let my foot relax. I couldn't wait to see my babies, it seemed like an eternity since I'd seen them.
Jax was outside talking to them when I pulled up. Both Ellie and Kenny came running to me. It was hugs all around. Then came my baby which looked like he had grown so much while he was gone.
"Hey, you, I have missed you." Thomas cuddled up to my chest, even though he didn't fit so perfectly anymore. He was my big boy now.
They were ready to leave. I hugged Kyle's aunt and thanked her for watching the kids. Pops held out his hand to Jax. "I returned your family just like I said I would."
Jax took his hand and shook it. "Thank you for what you did for them."
"Take care of yourself and your family Jax."
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA
Most things had returned to normal since the kids got back. I knew the inevitable was coming. What I had done would be found out eventually. I just didn't realize it would be today.
Jax took Thomas out of my arms and handed him to Happy. With no explanation, as to why he was so angry. "Kenny and Ellie, there's ice cream in the kitchen. You guys go have some."
Ellie made her way to the door with Kenny. She stopped though and looked directly in my eyes. I saw the fear in hers. "It's okay honey, go have some ice cream." I gave her a quick smile, she gave me none back when she left.
When they were out of sight, Jax slammed the door behind them. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?"
"What are we talking about now, Jax?"
"The Lodge. I went there today and Marcus informed me I don't own it anymore."
"I gave you the opportunity to do it first. It was the right thing to do and you know it."
"It's wasn't your decision, Tara. It's a club call, not yours to make."
"It wasn't club money that bought it, it was mine. Somehow, I lost controlling interest over it to the club. I didn't even argue with you about it. But, when it comes to our children, I will do the right thing by them. If you like it or you don't."
"I don't need a lecture from you today about doing the right thing. Was hiding Kyle behind my back the right thing too?"
"No, it wasn't right. If you noticed when it came down to Abel surviving, I had no loyalty to Kyle either."
Chibs opened the door and stuck his head in. "The meet is set. We gotta go."
"This shit isn't over with Tara. I can't trust you anymore."
"It never is over, there is always more shit to come Jax."
The first thing I did was go find my children. Kenny and Ellie were sitting at a table in the bar. Some nasty bitch had my son in her arms. I immediately took him from her.
When they were done eating we went back to our room. I played with Thomas on the bed while they watched television. Until we heard a commotion from the bar. I had Ellie keep Thomas with her so I could see what was going on.
"Sorry Mom, you can't come in the clubhouse. Jax said no." Happy met Gemma at the door and escorted her out. He obviously was following direct orders of his boss, Jax.
"Seriously." Gemma was dumbfounded at the idea she was no longer welcomed to walk among them, idolized by them or accepted as a part of their world. It was set in motion before Abel was taken. Now, it was time for Jax to carry through on what he had started. I got the feeling, he would be doing that with a lot of people before it was all said and done.
"What shit are you pulling?" Gemma screamed at me when I followed them outside in the parking lot.
"I didn't have anything to do with it." It was the truth even if she didn't believe it. There were times in the past I begged Jax to not let his mother be around our boys. But I always got overruled by him.
"Take your fucking hands off me." The second round of Gemma not listening with Happy. He stepped in to stop her from going in the clubhouse again.
"What's going on? Come on Hap, don't get rough with Gemma, man." I wasn't the only one who wasn't privy to what was happening. Tig was kept on the outside of the circle by Jax too.
"I'm just doing what I was told to by Jax."
Jax came back, poor timing on his part. A few minutes more and the guys would have done his dirty work for him. A few minutes later and Gemma would have been gone already. But she wasn't and he had to face her. "Yeah, he is doing what I told him to do. You will never come near my boys again. You're just an old lady around here and not even that anymore. You and Nero need to choose. Leave Charming as we agreed to or else."
"Or else what? You should remember Jackson, just who I really am and what I am capable of."
"Yeah me too, you might wanna remember what I'm capable of. You got a choice to make of what I tell my sons. Grandma and grandpa moved away or grandma and grandpa passed away."
Gemma stood with tears running down her face while he just walked away from her. In defeat she moved slowly towards her car. It was over, all the ties were severed between her, the club and her son now. The lifeline she fed, gave herself up for and the good years of her life for the club, it was all gone and no longer existed.
"You will see the boys again, Gemma. I will not allow him to get away with this."
There were times, I didn't want Gemma to be a part of my boys lives for fear she would endanger them. But this, this was a club move by Jax. He pushed Gemma and Nero out and used the boys to do it.
"Where's Jax?"
"He's in the chapel. Now is not a good time. He doesn't wanna be disturbed."
"I don't care what he wants."
When the door swung open without my announcing myself first, they both seemed surprised by it.
"I'm in the middle of something right now."
"Will you excuse us, Chibs? I need to talk to my husband."
Jax waited until he closed the door behind him. "What?"
"Why can't Gemma see the boys?"
"Because I said so."
"They are my sons too. You didn't even discuss this with me. I know you only did it to shove Gemma and Nero out of the picture. Not because she done something to warrant it this time, because you set this shit in motion a long time ago. Yeah, that's right, I've known for a while."
"Gemma is poison. She needs to go. I am tired of explaining myself for every move I make." Jax lit up a smoke and thought he was going to get out of this conversation with me.
"Don't you walk away from me, Jax."
"I don't want the boys at St. Thomas. You need to bring them here to be watched during the day."
"What are you talking about? Have you lost your mind, leave them in the care of some crow eaters? I will take my children wherever in the hell I please."
"No Tara, you won't. I can't trust you anymore to make the right decisions. I don't want you to take them off anywhere alone. A prospect will go with you. Until Gemma, Nero and Kyle are gone from Charming and they are just a bad memory." Jax infuriated me. If he thought for a moment he would dictate about our children, he was sadly mistaken.
"You can't trust me? What about the trust you've broken? I know what told Kyle to get him to go along with your bullshit. What you did to him, Gemma and Nero while I was in the hospital. Which in the end caused our son to be taken from us by the Cartel. I knew before we found Abel. Yet, I am still here and you're worried about trusting me?"
"So, the little prick told you. I should have known he is weak." Before I could say, Kyle didn't tell me about the deals Jax made behind the club's back, he continued. "I didn't hurt you, did I? Even though he continued to see you anyway. You were the only thing he understood or seemed to care about, his own life meant nothing to him. You kept sneaking around to see him behind my back. It was just threat, Tara."
"Kyle didn't tell me that. But you just did, Jax."
Now, I knew the secret no one would tell me, what they all kept from me, shielded me away from the ugly truth. All the dots were connected. Why Kyle kept insisting he couldn't be around me anymore. The burden of worry he had Jax would hurt me. What all took place while I was in hospital. How Jax got Kyle to go along with killing those guys. How he persuaded Gemma and Nero to move out of town in the quiet so no one would know what happened or why.
Many nights in the dark silence, I set having the same argument between my head and my heart. My head always stated the obvious to me. Now, my heart just confirmed it. It broke in so many pieces to know for certain Jax could even entertain the thought of bringing harm to me. It truly didn't mean much or bring any relief if it was only an idle threat or not.
"You probably shouldn't say anything else to me, Jax."
"What was I supposed to do? You pushed me to this point."
"You are supposed to be my husband who loves me unconditionally. You were supposed to take me and our boys away from here long ago like you promised so many times."
"I had no options left. You fucked that mother fucker and I couldn't keep you away from him. It was the only thing that worked. I am not going to lose my family and my wife to him. To the brother, you lied to me about and hid from me."
"No, Jax. I didn't fuck Kyle. As I see it even if I had you can't say shit about it. I still owe you a few for us to be on an even kilter on many things in life. According to the club you love so much; the rules you live and die by. Do what I've always done since I've been with you. Just fucking get over it and go on with life because no one cares what you want or if you like it or not."
Now, the conversation was over with. A lot of things were over. I went to the nearest bathroom and locked the door behind me. It wasn't even me staring back in the mirror. I splashed some cold water on my face. "Don't you let him see you break down or be weak."
The devil had pushed me far enough. Backed me into a corner with no way out. The lioness raised its ugly head up and wasn't taking anymore of Jax's shit. Or I just became the true SOA Queen he brought out of me and I was destined to become all of these things right all along beside him.
Fuck, Gemma had nothing on me as evil as I felt towards Jax at this moment. It's why Oden, John and Clay stood no chance going up against their queen. Until now I didn't realize the queen held the power over her king in her hands the entire time. Without us, their world would fall and they become their own demise. Was it why Gemma never backed down? Did she know she held the power over them? She knew the secret all along?
It was a proven fact from hundreds of years ago. When Oden lost Frig to his evil brother. The realm he built up around him crumbled down and no one any longer considered him to be a king anymore. Same scenario for John when he lost Gemma and then history repeated itself again with Clay.
"Son of a bitch. That's why when I am at my strongest point, Jax is at his weakest. The power was never held by the king, it's generated through the queen and the web. The children in the web, my boys. It's Abel and Thomas, they are the ones who feed the web, fresh blood. The evil lurks to take their goodness away. Making them the next Prince of Darkness."
Most would say I was insane, maybe I really was. All theories were only theories until proven facts that arrives to the truth. There was one person who might answer these questions. Even though my approach with Jax was wrong. It could prove me right.
When I went back in the bar, there was another argument in place between Jax and Chibs. The other members were standing around them, taking it all in. No one picked a side nor said a word.
"What this club needs, is a breathier. You're wrong, Jackie. We wait on retaliation. We are not ready for a bloody war. If we lose anymore members, our charter folds."
"This club has lost its way. What this club needs, is to retaliate, it's what we do. Do I need to take a vote? I'll proxy for Bobby and Quinn, they vote yes."
In the end, they all followed Jax just like they always have. I didn't want to know who they were retaliating against or why. It would only mean more worry for me. But, I already made my choice and I couldn't stop now.
"Ellie, I need for you to listen to me carefully, honey. I won't be gone long. I need you to watch the boys for me. It's time for me to finish what your mother started…"
There was nothing to stop me from going, not that Jax could even if he tried to. But, all eyes were on me when I came out to the bar. They wouldn't understand even if I told them where I went. So, I pulled a Gemma. Head held high, made no eye contact with anyone and just walked out.
The prospect assigned to me asked where I was going. "None of your fucking business. Stay here and keep my children safe."
The drive was good for me, it helped me think. Think about the level I just took things to with my husband. Think through the only choices I had left for my children. Think of all the questions I wanted to ask him while I was there.
'Everything in my life turned to shit. I got no money, no wife and no family left. My kids don't even know me or want to. I should have stayed in prison. At least Donna would still be alive. I don't have the luxury Jax does, of a good woman helping me with my kids. I'm all alone.'
"Yeah Opie, I'm all alone just like you were."
'I married Opie. I didn't marry the club.'
"Yeah Donna, I didn't marry the club either."
'When I heard, you were back, I ran through the scenarios of what this would look like between us. Nothing changed, you're wondering what bad shit I'm doing and I'm saying I'm sorry for it to you. I'm still the same guy, wearing the same leather on my back. But you, you are someone totally different.'
"Yeah Jax, I am a totally different person now."
'I am Jackson's mother no matter how old he is. Until I am dead in the ground, I will do whatever I can to protect him.'
"Yeah Gemma, we both will protect our children no matter what it takes."
'Einstein once said; any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complexed and more violent. But it takes a touch of genius and lots of courage to move something in the opposite direction. I'm realizing my touch of genius and courage are coming a little too late. I fear for SAMCRO, there may be no opposite direction.'
"Yeah John, most of us realized it a little too late. But, it's not too late for my boys."
You swallowed your pride, made the choices in life you had to and done things that didn't always make sense at the time. "Gemma, we need to talk. We need each other now, it's time…"
SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~SOA~
In times of uncertainty. There were those moments we found ourselves at the crossroads; afraid, confused and without a road map of which direction to go in. Those choices we made in those moments could define the rest of our days. Or end them all together very quickly.
Decisions were the hardest move to make. Especially when it was the choice between where you should be and where you wanted to be.
Sometimes, you needed to hold on to something. Sometimes, you need to let go. Sometimes, it was just hard to decide what to do. I've cried for the memories. I've cried for the pain. I've cried for love.
The sounds were blaring from the outside as I pulled up and got out. When I walked up the steps I waited for a sign, any sign I was moving in the right direction. But, I received none as I went forward.
"Welcome. Please, come in and join us."
He didn't seem to mind the interruption I made going inside. If anything, he gave me encouragement and I felt as though, I belonged here. I took the pew in the back of the church so he could continue his sermon.
"The demon finally confronted the hunter in the woods, he was ready to fight the man for his soul. Nothing the demon did made the man succumb to temptation, made him fall from his beliefs. This wasn't what the demon is accustomed to. But, Mathew is no ordinary man. When the devil made one final attempt to persuade Mathew, it didn't work. Mathew got down on his knees and prayed. No one could test his fate nor make him fall from grace. It was when the devil knew, he was defeated. All his strength was being drained from him the more Mathew prayed. The demon needed an escape before evil no longer existed in him, he had to stop the prayer. He spits blood in Mathew's face to make his getaway. Scorching Mathew severely with his boiling Lucifer's blood. But, even a blind man can still see God. Mathew only continued to pray louder and shout his forgiveness to the demon…."
At certain points, you became deaf to words. Numb, to it all. But, your heart kept speaking to you relentlessly. Mine, was screaming it at me.
When the sermon was over. I purposely waited until most had left the church before I approached him. "Do you remember me, I brought Ellie Winston to see you?"
"I do remember you. How is Ellie doing?"
"She is okay. If you have a moment I would like to talk to you."
"Of course, what do you wish to talk about?"
"I need to know what you spoke to Ellie about that day."
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that."
"It could be a matter of life and death. I'm a doctor. When I took blood from someone, the vial of it was so hot. It almost scorched my hand before I dropped it. Please, I have no one else or nowhere else to turn to."
"I won't tell you the specifics of our conversation. But I can tell you, Ellie asked me to pray for your soul. God took her mother away from her. She fears he will do the same with you. When Kyle joined us, they talked about something I didn't understand, perhaps you can help me with it. They spoke of casting evil out because the crow told her to. Kyle promised her he will not let anything happen to you. What evil are they referring to?"
"I don't know for sure what they were talking about. In your sermon, the beast, he had boiling hot blood. Why?"
"We all carry the same amount of Lucifer's blood in our bodies, we are born with it. It is determined by the person which father they follow. The seed is always there and planted. When someone has chosen the life of Satin, the blood turns hot. The evil has evolved to the surface and taken over the soul. They have become the son of Satin, do his work and spread his word. It is said some have no control over the evil in them. It is predetermined what they will become when they are born."
"Do you believe sons have a choice over what their father has become and the man they will become? I don't understand how brothers can be so different with the same father from the same seed."
"The father I am referencing is not their earthly father but God or Satin. Each man has a choice in life, which father's footsteps to follow. Maybe these passages will help you understand better."
Abraham's Seed and Satan's. John 8:41, 8:42 & 8:44.
41 You do the deeds of your father. 42 Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. 44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.
"Ellie has brought up John 3:20 a lot. I need to know how to see the evil in the real light and expose it for what it is." When I flipped to the passage he didn't need to read it. Of course, he knew what it said already.
John 3:20,Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.
"That is the exact same thing Donna asked me. I couldn't help her either. You must find the answer for yourself. Find your truth and the light will shine your way. I hope you will attend our service again, Tara. I enjoyed our talk."
"Ellie is the light. But I think you know that already. Donna died trying to save her children, please, help me. I am willing to die to save mine."
"The Bible entertains no thought that darkness is equal in power to God's light. God is the absolute sovereign who rules over the darkness and the powers of evil. Darkness evokes everything that is anti-God: the wicked, judgment, death. While light is not itself divine, it is often used metaphorically; as salvation, the commandments, the truth and the divine presence of God. The light signifies the presence of God is with you. I can only preach his word, you must believe it. But, be cautious who you trust, the devil was once an angel. Some angels are destined to fall. Black hearts are not born black, they are burned."
These days, I could believe most anything. The normal wasn't something I'd followed for a long time. However, it would be a true test of my fate to find his word as my guide. Maybe all this time, Ellie was on to something she didn't even realize yet.
There was a revelation, the truth before Ellie when I returned to the clubhouse she must face. I should have told her it was coming but, I couldn't bring myself to break her heart. Kyle had come to tell her goodbye. Jax was outside smoking, watching every move they made.
"You made me believe family takes care of each other. We can be a real family without being my parents or blood. Now, you're leaving me. Don't leave me here, Kyle."
"I have to go and you have to stay here with Tara. I would change it if I could but, I can't."
"You are just like all the rest of them. Leave then, it's what men do." Ellie jerked on the gold chain around her neck, it broke. She tossed the dog tag down on the ground at Kyle's feet.
"Little G, it's complicated. You won't understand."
"It's not that complicated. You love us or you don't. You will fight for us or you won't. You are just like him. Made promises you won't keep."
"I don't know your father or what promises he made to you but…"
"I'm not talking about my father, you are just like Jax."
It was the final blow to Kyle. He hung his head and couldn't even look at her face anymore. She was done with too because she just shook her head and walked away.
The surprise came from Kenny. He took off his dog tag as well and laid it down by his sister's. "Bye Kyle." Then ran to catch up with her.
Kyle bent down to the ground and picked them up. Shifting them from hand to hand. Once he started in Jax's direction, I knew it was about to get worse for all of us.
"Please Jax, just let me see Ellie. I'll do whatever you want. I won't go near Tara again. Please, I'm begging you."
"The boys get released from the hospital tomorrow. You got three days to pack your shit, get your sister and her kid and leave Charming."
"And if I don't leave?"
"Then you will find out just how evil I really can be."
I hope you enjoyed reading me!
A lot has expressed interest in the key to the story. It will be posted shortly after the last chapter.
Tara learned a lot of new things. She is at that crossroad of dancing with the devil no matter which way she turns. He always gets paid his dues for it. I will leave you with the most important paragraph of the story from Tara in Chapter 1.
'I've always been told that a good old lady was strong at all times and never lets anything bother her. I totally disagree with that scenario. You must be somewhat weak to learn to live this kind of life. You must be torn down, rebuilt to become accustom to what they do in the club and the way they live to survive it all.'
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