A/N: Thanks for your reviews!
Mentioned in Apologize Chapters 4 and 19
Chapter 2 –First Dance/First Kiss
One Year Later
Johanna knocked on the door of her parents house and prayed that her mother would be the one to answer the door. She hated it when her father answered…he was quick to interrogate the reason for being there unannounced, and if he could think of something else to question or judge he was quick to do so. You never made it through the door until Frank McKenzie's process was complete and she just didn't have time to deal with that tonight.
The lock released and the door opened to reveal the kind of face of Naomi McKenzie who smiled at the sight of her eldest daughter.
"Don't you look beautiful," she said as she stepped back and allowed Johanna to enter the house.
"Thank you," she murmured as she smoothed away an imaginary wrinkle from the silky fabric of her rose colored cocktail dress.
"Doesn't she look pretty, Frank?" Naomi asked as she glanced at her husband who was settled into his favorite chair for the evening.
His eyes flicked over his daughter. "She'll do."
Johanna refrained from rolling her eyes, a trait that he hated, and smirked. That was as close to a compliment as you were likely to get from him.
"I can't stay long," Johanna said to her mother. "I just wanted to see if I could borrow your diamond earrings. None of my earrings seemed to go with this dress."
"Of course," Naomi answered. "I'll get them for you."
Johanna remained standing in the living room as her mother scurried off in the direction of the bedroom.
"Where are you going tonight?" Frank asked.
"The firm is having a party," she answered.
He frowned. "For what?"
"The senior partners won a huge case and they feel it's a cause for celebration."
"Were you involved in this case?"
"No."
"Then why are you going?" he asked. "If you didn't have anything to do with the victory, why should you be a part of the celebration?"
This time she gave in and rolled her eyes. "The party is for everyone who works there, Dad; not just the people who were actively involved in that certain case. Every case that is won is a victory for the entire firm, not just select members."
"It sounds like a waste of money if you ask me," he muttered.
"Well I didn't ask you," she replied; her tone light and void of conflict although she could feel the stirrings of her temper. Her father always did bring out the worst in her.
He gave her a sharp look. "When you're under my roof, Johanna, you'll leave your attitude problem at the door."
"I don't have an attitude problem," Johanna answered. What she had was a father problem.
He scoffed. "You've had an attitude since you've learned to talk."
"If I have an attitude it's probably for a reason," she retorted as she held his gaze.
"That's enough," Naomi said as she re-entered the room. "Honestly, I can't leave the two of you alone together for more than 30 seconds without an argument starting."
"Take that issue up with your daughter," Frank stated. "She's the one that causes the problem, jumping on everything anyone says to her."
"I do not!"
"See," he said to his wife.
"Stop," Naomi repeated again as she held the earrings out to Johanna. "It's both of you; you're too alike for your own good."
They both looked at her in offense. "That girl is nothing like me!" Frank stated.
"That's the one thing we can agree on," Johanna said as she walked to the mirror that hung on the wall by the door so she could put the earrings on.
While she carefully poked the stems of the earrings into her earlobes, her mother fussed with her dress, straightening the thin straps that laid against her shoulders. "Are you going with someone?" Naomi inquired.
"No," Johanna answered.
"I'm not surprised," Frank muttered from his chair. "She might be able to catch a man if it wasn't for that smart mouth of hers. Look at Colleen, two years younger than her and she's already engaged."
"Well good for Colleen," Johanna stated sharply. She loved her sister but she didn't want to be compared to her. It wasn't that she hadn't been asked to the party, she had been, but the invitation had been extended by the womanizing Charles Patterson and she had shot him down.
She sighed as she made sure the backs were securely fastened to the earrings. When the party had been announced she had hoped that Jim would ask her to go with him, but he hadn't. She told herself that it didn't bother her…and while she told herself that, she consoled herself with the knowledge that he hadn't asked anyone else to go with him either.
"Don't worry," Naomi said as she patted her back lovingly. "You'll find someone eventually."
Great, she thought to herself, now she had her mother's pity for still being single. This was sure to be brought up in a future conversation between them. She could feel it. It would be one of those subtle well meaning talks about how she wasn't getting any younger, and how Naomi had been married by the time she was her age and that it was her duty to provide her with at least one grandchild. She was going to have to avoid her phone for the next week. She should've just done without earrings…or better yet, she should've lied and said she had a date. God, she couldn't wait to get her hands on a glass of champagne.
Johanna forced a smile to her face. "Well I better get going. I'll get the earrings back to you as soon as possible," she told her mother.
"There's no rush, dear," Naomi said as she embraced her. "Have a good time."
"I will," she replied as she pulled away and headed for the door.
"Say goodbye to your father," Naomi said gently but it was clear that she was demanding it.
Johanna paused, her hand on the door knob and then turned back to face her father. "Goodbye, Father."
He glared at her; he hated to be addressed as 'Father'. "Goodnight, Johanna. Don't do anything foolish and disgrace yourself."
She smirked. "Well that just ruins my plans for the whole evening; I was really hoping to disgrace the family name."
"Johanna!" Naomi exclaimed.
Her smile was genuine this time as she looked at her father's dismayed expression. "Goodnight," she laughed as she pulled open the door and escaped into the darkness.
Jim's eyes scanned the hotel ballroom for what must've been the hundredth time and he still didn't find what he was looking for. Or should he say that he hadn't found who he was looking for.
"Don't worry, Jim; she'll be here," an amused feminine voice stated at his side.
He shifted his gaze to the source and found Johanna's secretary, Sharon, smirking at him.
He returned the smirk. "Who?" he asked; although he very well knew who she was referring to but he refused to believe that he was that transparent.
Sharon laughed. "Really? Are we going to play that game?"
Jim shrugged. "I don't know, are we?"
"We all know that you're standing over here looking for Johanna," she teased.
"I am not. I'm just standing here minding my own business."
"You know, you could've just asked her to come with you," Sharon said, disregarding his reply. "If you had, she would be here already and you wouldn't have to look like a lost puppy."
"I resent that," Jim stated as he looked at her. "I have never looked like a lost puppy."
"That's what you think," she replied. "Now, why didn't you ask Johanna to come with you?"
"What makes you so sure she would've said yes if I had?"
Sharon looked at him as if he was stupid. "Oh come on, you know she would've said yes."
"I don't know that at all," he answered. "I'm sure she had plenty of offers."
"None that interested her," she replied and she didn't miss the fact that he seemed glad to hear that piece of information. "I think maybe she was holding out for a certain someone."
"What are you getting at Sharon," he asked as he eyed her.
She slapped his shoulder and he laughed. "You know damn well what I'm getting at!" she exclaimed. "Jo was waiting for you to ask her and we both know it!"
"Did she say that?"
"No, but she didn't have to. It was obvious."
"And just what makes you think that Johanna wanted to come to this party with me?"
Sharon shook her head and threw up her hands. "Oh I don't know, maybe because of all the sparks that fly between the two of you anytime you're near each other."
He groaned; he had heard this before. "Have you been talking to Jeff?"
"No, I haven't, but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one trying to knock sense into your head."
"I'm not in any need of having sense knocked into my head," he retorted. "The two of you exaggerate the situation." Even as he said those words, he knew in part that they were a lie. There had been those occasional moments when their hands would brush against each other's and the air would suddenly feel electrified; and then there were those moments when their gazes would lock and it would all become very intense until one of them broke the spell by looking away. Yes, he thought to himself, there was the occasional spark there between them. It was attraction, nothing more and nothing less, and certainly not as noticeable as their friends like to claim.
"There's no exaggerating that amount of sparks flying," Sharon stated, dragging him out of his thoughts. "We have to turn on the air conditioning after the two of you have occupied the same air space."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't you have someone else to pick on?"
"No, not at the moment. If you had brought Johanna with you, I wouldn't have to pick on anyone."
"My apologies," he said sarcastically.
"I'll forgive you this time, but you better ask her the next time or there's going to be hell to pay."
Jim grinned at her. "Oh I'm so afraid of you, Sharon."
"You better be," she stated. "I can make you miserable if I have to."
He didn't doubt that, but just as he was about to respond to the contrary, something caught his eye at the entrance to the ballroom. His breath caught and then he smiled without even realizing that he was doing so. There she was, finally, he thought as he watched Johanna enter the room, her eyes scanning the crowd in search for her usual circle of friends. She was beautiful in that rose colored dress with her dark hair swept up elegantly.
"Told you she'd be here," Sharon remarked as she looked at him knowingly.
"I wasn't worried," he said as his eyes followed Johanna around the room, watching as she snagged a glass of champagne and took a few sips before scanning the room once again.
"She can't find us," Sharon announced, looping her arm through his. "Let's go to her."
He took note that Sharon was nice enough not to mention the fact that she hadn't had to ask him twice. Sharon called out to her as they neared her location and she turned in their direction and smiled.
"It's about time you showed up," her friend chastened good naturedly. "Someone was getting worried," Sharon stated as she threw a non subtle glance at Jim.
"I wasn't worried," he stated as Johanna turned her green gaze upon him.
She grinned. "You could've allowed me a moment to be flattered by the thought," she teased.
Jim smiled. "I can flatter you better than that."
"Prove it," she quipped.
He loved a challenge…especially when it came in the form of Johanna McKenzie. A grin spread across his face as he reached for her unoccupied hand and raised it to his lips, brushing a light kiss across it. "You look beautiful tonight," he told her sincerely, his gaze locked upon hers.
Her heart skipped and she was at a momentary loss for words. She felt her cheeks growing warm as she murmured a soft 'thank you' as her gaze shifted away shyly.
"Well I think I'll go see about having the air conditioning turned up a notch," Sharon said as Jim allowed Johanna's hand to slip away from his.
"Why?" Johanna asked in puzzlement.
"It feels like it's heating up in here," Sharon remarked as she looked between Johanna and Jim before walking away.
"Don't pay any attention to her," Jim stated as Johanna stared after her friend. "I think she's had more champagne than she's letting on."
Johanna had a feeling that that wasn't the case at all and that Sharon would tell her exactly what she meant the next day…and she had a feeling she already knew. Jim offered her his arm and she looped hers through it and allowed him to lead her across the room to the table that he had staked out earlier, but she had no sooner gotten there when she was pulled away by other friends, and then accepted a string of invitations to dance.
Jim made his own rounds of the room, socializing with friends and colleagues but he kept one eye on Johanna while doing so. He frowned as he watched her being passed from one man to the next on the dance floor. This wasn't exactly the way he had hoped the evening would go. He had figured that they'd spend the majority of it together…but she was there on her own, his traitorous mind reminded him, and it was obvious that she had been declared fair game.
He didn't like that thought…just like he wasn't all that happy about how close Daniel Hopkins was to her as they danced. He shook his head, what the hell was wrong with him. Why did he care who she danced with? He picked up his drink; he knew why he cared. He wanted to dance with her…which was surprising seeing as how he usually tried to avoid dancing. Well there was only one thing to do, he said to himself as he took a sip of his drink, he'd just have to get her away from the crowd and claim a dance for himself.
He had no sooner made up his mind to do that when he saw her breaking free of the crowd and making her way back towards him, a fresh glass of champagne in hand.
"Welcome back," he said as she took a seat next to him.
"Where have you been hiding?" Johanna asked. "You could've came and saved me from a few conversations."
He laughed, "I've been around."
"You must be good at blending in," she teased. "I've been looking for you."
"Well now that you've found me do you think you can spare a dance for me?" Jim asked.
Johanna smiled as she sat her glass of champagne down. "I was beginning to think that you weren't going to ask me."
He grinned. "I haven't stood a chance with all of your admirers flocking around you."
"Admirers?" she laughed. "You must've lost your mind. I think half of them only danced with me to see if I had drank enough champagne to make me stupid enough to fall for their pick up lines and innuendos."
"I thought I heard hearts breaking all across the dance floor," he quipped.
"Their hearts had nothing to do with it," Johanna replied with a smirk.
Jim rose from his chair as the current song was reaching its conclusion and he held out his hand to her. "Well don't worry," he told her as she rose from her chair and slipped her hand into his. "You're safe with me."
"You're not going to try to pick me up?" she teased, her green eyes sparkling with amusement as he led her to the dance floor.
"Not when you're expecting it," he replied; a grin on his lips as he gazed at her. "I like the element of surprise."
"So you're going to pick me up when I least expect it?" she asked as the opening strains of the Eagles 'Best of My Love' filled the air.
"I can't tell you the answer to that question," he teased. "It would ruin the surprise."
"I do like surprises," Johanna replied. "Good ones, that is."
"Are you saying I wouldn't be a good surprise?" he asked in mock offense.
She laughed softly. "I don't know, are you?"
Jim smiled."That's for you to find out."
"Maybe I'll surprise you."
"You surprise me all the time," he said sincerely.
"Good or bad?" she couldn't help but ask.
He laughed. "You could never be bad, Johanna."
"Don't be so sure," she said coyly. "I can be bad when I want to be."
"Is that right?"
She nodded; the corners of her lips lifting in a smile that he found himself classifying as seductive and he found himself pulling her a bit closer in regards to it.
"Do you want to demonstrate your badness tonight?" he asked mischievously.
"No, I'd rather wait until you're least expecting it."
Jim laughed. "I think you're a little bit of a tease."
"That's just an ugly rumor started by people I've said no to," Johanna giggled.
"You were probably smart in saying no to them," he replied. "I'm sure they weren't worthy of you."
Her brow rose as she regarded him, a light smile gracing her lips. "I'm sensing a 'but' coming."
He chuckled. "But if the mood should strike and you would want to be bad, let me know, I'll go along with it."
"Why am I not surprised?" she laughed.
"I'm just doing you a favor," Jim replied. "Being bad is more fun if you take along a friend."
"I'll keep that in mind."
They fell silent as they moved to the music and it gave her time to savor the moment. She'd been hoping all night that he would ask her to dance. She breathed in the scent of his cologne and cherished the feeling of being so close to him. One of the best things about dancing, she thought to herself, was that for a few minutes she could be his and he could be hers. Johanna closed her eyes as she listened to the song play on, wishing that it wouldn't end. She would've liked to move even closer to him. She would've liked to lay her head against his shoulder and just stay there in that moment all night but she knew better than to give in to those urges. That was okay though, she told herself. What they had right there in the current moment felt good enough.
The song drew to a close and Johanna forced her eyes open and smiled up at Jim. "You know," she said quietly. "I could probably spare another dance for you…if you wanted."
"If you're sure it wouldn't be any trouble," he said; his blue eyes gleaming with amusement and fondness for her.
"No trouble at all," she replied as the next song began.
"Must be my lucky day," Jim commented as he pulled her a little closer for the next dance. "I think I'm the only one who's gotten to dance with you twice. People might think you're showing favoritism.
She laughed. "So what if I am?"
"Hey, I don't have a problem with you showing favoritism…that is as long as it's me you're favoring."
Johanna grinned. "You know you're my favorite."
"Well that works out perfectly then," Jim said as he dipped his head to whisper in her ear. "You're my favorite too."
"Really?" she said as her brow rose. "I heard that Melanie was your favorite."
"Far from it," he laughed. "And you better be careful, that might be misconstrued as jealousy."
She scoffed. "You wish."
Their second dance ended up turning into three as they were so caught up in the light hearted banter and ribbing that they didn't even notice that the music had changed. It might've turned into four if Jeff hadn't stolen her away for a dance, but when it was over she made her way to back to Jim and joined him at the table, picking up their conversation where they had left off.
It didn't escape Jim's notice that the drunker people got as the party progressed, the more Johanna stuck close to him. She had started declining offers to dance an hour before and it was obvious that she was doing her best to keep from getting trapped into conversations with certain men. He didn't blame her; and he was more than happy to take on the role of her protector. He had already dropped an arm across the back of her chair, hoping to fend off the most lecherous of his colleagues with the thought that he had claimed her for himself.
"I feel like I'm being watched," Johanna whispered to him as she subtly scooted her chair closer to his.
Jim scanned the room and his gaze fell upon Charles Patterson and one of his cronies. Charles was eyeing her up and he didn't like the looks of it at all.
He shifted his gaze back to Johanna. "You want to get out of here?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think I've had enough…I have a feeling this party could take an ugly turn."
"Let's go," he said as he rose from his chair. Johanna grabbed her small evening bag and then settled her hand in the crook of his elbow and allowed him to guide her out of the hotel.
"Where do you want to go?" Jim asked; feeling a bit reluctant to send her home just yet.
"Coffee?" she suggested with a shrug.
"There's a place up the street," he said, and when she gave a nod in agreement they set off on foot for the coffee shop.
After ordering their coffees, they picked a booth by the window and sat down across from each other.
"Did you have a good time?" Jim asked.
"Yes, for the most part," Johanna answered. "The last hour wasn't all that great…with the exception of watching Jeff follow Maggie around begging her to take him home with her."
He laughed. "You can always expect a highlight from Jeff."
She smiled and reached for the pins in her hair and plucked them from their places, allowing her hair to tumble down her back. Jim watched as she pushed it back from her face and his fingers itched to bury themselves in that dark silky mass. He shook the thought away and forced himself to concentrate on the words she was speaking.
"I love parties," she said; "But by the end I'm always ready to leave."
"What are you complaining about?" he asked good naturedly. "I was there a good forty-five minutes before you showed up."
She eyed him, a slight smirk of her own curving her lips upward. "Is that your way of inquiring about my whereabouts, Mr. Beckett?"
"Would I do that?" he laughed.
Johanna shrugged. "You might."
"I just figured you were trying to be fashionably late and got carried away."
"No, I had a moment of temporary insanity and went to my parents house to borrow my mother's earrings. Next time I'll just wear what I have or do with out."
"I take it your errand didn't go well?"
"You could say that," she answered.
He was thoughtful for a moment as he considered the question he was about to broach. She spoke of her family from time to time but she never really delved into the dynamics of it. "Do you not get along with your parents?" he asked.
"My mother and I are close," she replied. "It's just that every once in awhile she wants to have one of those conversations about how it's my duty to marry and provide her with a grandchild…and somewhere in the middle of that is usually the phrase about how I'm not getting any younger."
Jim laughed. "Maybe I should give you my sister's phone number, the two of you can commiserate together."
Johanna smiled. "So I'm not the only one getting this talk from their mother?"
"Of course not. I think Madelyn has been getting that talk since she was 16."
She chuckled. "Well at least my mother waited until I was 18 to start dropping hints."
"Don't worry about it," Jim told her. "Your time will come,"
"Yeah but it's worse now," she remarked.
"Why?"
"Because Colleen had to go get engaged!"
Jim nodded. "I remember that you mentioned that."
"Don't get me wrong," Johanna said. "I love my sister, and I want her to be happy, but I could just smack her. Now I get to hear comments from my father about how she's two years younger and already caught a man while I haven't."
He couldn't help but chuckle at her rant and when she smiled he knew that she hadn't taken it personally.
"You said you're close to your mother, but you didn't say anything about your father," Jim stated. He had a feeling that something wasn't quite right between her and her father as she rarely ever spoke of him.
"My father is a different story," she answered; her fingers brushing against the emerald stone of the ring she always wore on her right hand.
"You want to tell me about it?"
Johanna shook her head. "Not tonight."
He nodded in acceptance with her wishes. Apparently he was right and something was wrong in that area of her life but he wouldn't push for her to reveal the nature of it. She'd tell him one day if she wanted him to know. He reached across the table and took her hand.
"Listen, when you see your sister, give her a little smack to make yourself feel better and then have some fun with your mother and tell her you're rebelling."
Johanna laughed and squeezed his hand in appreciation. "I have a feeling that my mother would say that I've already done my rebelling."
"Don't tell me Johanna McKenzie rebelled as a teenager," Jim teased. "I had you pegged as one of those girls who always did their homework and was home by curfew."
She smirked. "Shows what you know."
"Enlighten me."
She smiled and took a sip of coffee before replying. "I started rebelling before I was a teenager. I ran away when I was 12."
"Where did you go?"
"The train station. I had my bag packed and I was all ready to head out to California but I didn't have enough money for the ticket…and of course there had to be a suspicious cop lurking around who made me give him my name and address and he took me back home to my parents."
"How did that go over for you?"
"Not good," she answered before moving on. "As a teenager, I skipped school a few times. I went out with a boy that my father told me I couldn't see. I tried smoking but it always made me sick. I went to parties I wasn't supposed to go to. I snuck out of the house several times."
"Did you ever get caught?" he asked.
"Once," Johanna told him. "My father was always up at five so I knew I had to be back long before then, but one morning I pushed my luck and crept in the door at four-thirty…that just so happened to be the morning he got up earlier than usual."
He cringed. "I bet that wasn't a fun morning."
"You can say that again," she stated as she recalled the yelling and the accusations that had ensued. "How about you, did you rebel?"
"What do you think?" Jim asked in amusement.
She grinned. "I figure it's guaranteed but I was being nice and giving you the benefit of the doubt."
"I appreciate that," he answered; "So few people give me the benefit of the doubt."
"Did you ever get caught sneaking out or sneaking in?"
"My brothers and I had sneaking out down to an art form," Jim replied. "We grew up in one of those houses where there was a set of stairs in the front of the house and then a set in the back at the kitchen. My parents room is near the front of the house so we always took the back stairs and snuck out the kitchen door. This plan worked out great until this one night when my brothers and I were sneaking out to a party. My sister wanted to come along and we wouldn't let her, so once we were gone she went and told on us."
"What happened?" Johanna asked.
"We always made sure to leave the door unlocked so we could get back in," Jim stated. "We'd check it at least twice before we'd leave. That night when we got back, we found the door locked, and a note from our mother saying that since we liked being out at night like a bunch of stray cats we could just stay on the porch until morning."
She laughed. "She didn't leave you out there until morning, did she?"
"Yes!" he replied, laughing with her. "Although we tried everything we could think of to get in."
"Did that put an end to your days of sneaking out?"
"No, after that we learned to pick locks."
"And what about your sister?" Johanna inquired. "Was there any retaliation?"
"She may have had an unfortunate string of bad luck the following week," he said with a grin. "But I wouldn't know anything about that."
"Oh I'm sure you don't," she laughed.
Silence fell between them and the radio that the employees were listening to could be heard in playing in the background. She smiled and caught Jim's eye as the song they had danced to began to play.
"Déjà vu," she said.
He smiled back at her, his fingers moving across the soft skin of her hand once again. It was one of those moments that were riddled with those sparks again, he thought to himself as their gazes held. After a moment he pulled his hand away from hers and took a sip of his coffee before starting up a new line of conversation. They lingered there, long after their coffee was gone, talking about work and friends, and prying more stories from one another until finally she caught sight of the anxious looking staff who kept eyeing them.
"I think they want us to get out of here so they can close," Johanna whispered.
He nodded and glanced at his watch before pulling some money from his pocket and laying it on the table as a tip to compensate for their lingering. He took her hand and led her outside and then hailed them a cab and gave the driver her address.
Jim and Johanna were quiet as they walked down the hallway towards her door, his hand still wrapped securely around hers. There was music coming from the apartment next to hers and as they stopped at her door the song changed and 'Best of My Love' wafted through the air. They looked at each other and broke into soft laughter.
"There it is again," Johanna said.
Jim nodded. "That song has been following us around all night."
"Maybe it's our song," she replied in jest but in her mind she knew that she'd never hear that song and not think of Jim.
"Maybe it's fate," he laughed.
"Maybe it is," she replied, her laughter mingling with his. She tilted her head slightly towards the sound of the song and a lock of her hair fell across her face. She brought her hand up to brush it away, but her fingers were gently bumped away by Jim's as he captured the errant strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear, his knuckles grazing lightly against her skin sending that little shiver of awareness through her.
Her gaze met his and the air crackled with electricity as he allowed his fingers to linger against her face. He wanted to kiss her…and there was the sudden realization that it was something he'd wanted to do for awhile now. He probably shouldn't though…in fact he was sure that there was probably a reason why he shouldn't; but he couldn't think of it at the moment. All he could think of was her smile, those saucy little comments she tossed around every now and then and those pretty green eyes that sparkled when she was happy. He just had to kiss her…just this once.
Johanna's heart skipped a beat as his fingers trailed along her jaw line and then cupped her face. Was this really going to happen, she wondered. Was he really going to kiss her? Or was this going to be some kind of trick that she'd have to kill him for? He moved closer, slowly, giving her a chance to push him away if it wasn't what she wanted but she made no attempt to stop him.
Her eyes fluttered shut as his lips met hers, gently at first, as if he was still giving her the option to change her mind. When she offered no hesitation, he deepened the kiss and she returned it with equal fervor, her arms slipping around him of their own accord as his wrapped around her waist.
She thought that it would be a brief affair but he surprised her by allowing it to go on until the need for oxygen forced them apart. It was even better than she had imagined it could possibly be; Johanna thought to herself. In fact, if she had to pick a word to describe it, she'd have to go with incredible.
They stood there, still in each other's arms and didn't move. They met each other's gaze but they didn't speak. Jim had finally thought up a reason of why kissing her hadn't been a good idea. Somewhere inside he must've known that if he kissed her once, he'd have to kiss her twice. Hell, he thought, now that he had a taste of her he was going to want to kiss her on a frequent basis. That was what happened when you gave in to sparks…sparks ignited flames. Flames were harder to control. That thought didn't keep him from claiming her lips for a second time in a kiss that was even more searing than the first.
Oh well, he thought, at least he had forced his hands to remain where they were, although they desperately wanted to wander. She was breathless when it ended, speechless too. She wasn't even sure if she could come up with a coherent thought if pressed for one. There was silence between them once again and it lingered long enough for her brain to clear and the worry to set in. What if he regretted it? What if it made things awkward between them? She dropped her arms and attempted to take a step back as her teeth bit into her bottom lip in worry but he didn't release her from his hold.
Jim didn't miss the flicker of worry in her eyes, and he didn't begrudge her the feeling. He had felt it too. They had a good friendship, one that was filled with trust and respect. They had fun together; they enjoyed each other's company. Sure, there were those sparks of attraction that had been on his mind all evening and they had flirtatious conversations from time to time, but they were comfortable. They had a comfortable relationship and now they had stepped across the boundary line of friendship into that gray area of being something slightly more than friends.
What did one say after crossing that line, he wondered as he looked at her. This wasn't some woman he picked up in a bar. She wasn't a one night stand waiting to happen. This was Johanna. She was different. She was special to him…he cared about her. He didn't regret kissing her, but he didn't want to do something that would foul up what they already had. So maybe the best thing to do was to say as little as possible, he decided.
Jim smiled at her and after a moment of hesitation she smiled too. He gave her waist a light squeeze and then brushed a kiss against her cheek before releasing her.
"Goodnight, Jo," he said quietly.
"Goodnight," she whispered as she fumbled for her small evening bag and opened it to retrieve her keys. He stood by, waiting until she had unlocked the door so he could make sure she was safely inside before he left. She stepped inside the apartment and caught his eye as he was about to turn to go.
"Talk to you tomorrow?" Johanna asked lightly as if it was a statement rather than the question they both knew it was.
He smiled again and nodded. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
She returned the smile and then whispered goodnight once again before shutting the door and locking it. Johanna leaned back against the door for a moment and released a shaky breath, her fingertips brushing across her lips in what she knew was a schoolgirl gesture, but she couldn't help herself. That had really happened. He hadn't asked her to the party but he had kissed her…twice. Well, she thought to herself, he had made the statement that he would surprise her. He hadn't lied, she was surprised, and it had been one hell of a good surprise.
Johanna pushed away from the door and forced her feet to carry her to her bedroom where she kicked off her shoes and began to prepare for bed. When she finally slipped beneath the covers and turned off the light, she allowed the memory to roll through her mind. She wondered if it would happen again, and if so, how long she would have to wait for it, but behind those thoughts was something else. Should she be relieved that they were obviously not going to talk about what had occurred…or should she be bothered by it? Johanna forced herself to brush the thought away, she'd worry about it when it became a problem, until then, she'd just savor the moments as they came.