Reflections

by evitascarlett

A companion piece to 'Apologize'. Chronicling the lives and love story of Jim and Johanna Beckett through the years. See Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter One for more details! Cover art by LordofKavaka

6. Chapter 6 - Mama

A/N: There are a few lines of Italian sprinkled in towards the end of this chapter; I've included there translations in brackets, I am in no way fluent in the language and have used an online translator, so if there is a mistake, I apologize. The only term I didn't bracket is 'mi cara' which means 'dear'.

For Cindy, who gave me the inspiration for this chapter and for her enthusiastic support of this story which means the world to me. Thank you :)

Chapter 6 – Mama

Late January

When Naomi McKenzie was a young dreamer, all she had wanted was to become a famous pianist, playing in all of the world's greatest venues and eventually attain a career on the stage. She had also wanted to be a wife and a mother. As she grew up, her dreams and reality shifted somewhat. Instead of becoming a famous pianist she became a secretary and a part time piano teacher; which was just as rewarding in her mind, as she loved sharing the gift of music. Her dreams of being on the stage faded and she made herself content with being a permanent member of the audience, living vicariously through the actors on Broadway or on the silver screen.

She did, however, attain the dream of being a wife and mother. Frank had his faults, she couldn't deny that, but she loved him and she felt that maybe she knew him better than anyone else, that maybe she saw something in him that he kept hidden from the rest of the world. He was good to her, he loved her, took care of her and together they had made her dream of being a mother come true…three times.

In Naomi's heart and mind there was nothing greater than her children and she had dreams for them as well from infancy forward and now that they were adults, her dreams were of seeing each of them settled with their soul mate and with families of their own which would give her the bonus of grandchildren. Frank Jr. had met Valerie while in college and they had married two years ago, and they had now provided her with her first grandchild, four month old Gregory. Her youngest daughter, Colleen, was happily engaged to a good man who Naomi had no doubt would love and provide well for her.

Her middle child, however, seemed a little slow at catching on. Naomi looked across the table at her eldest daughter and sighed softly. Mothers weren't supposed to play favorites among their children, and really she didn't think that she was…but her bond with Johanna was different than the bond she shared with her other children. It's depth was different, and she didn't know if it stemmed from the fact that Johanna was her first girl or from the fact that she had always tried to give her extra love and affection to make up for the fact that her father refused to properly bond with her. Johanna was most like her in spirit and looks; she was more giving of affection than her brother, and at times, even her sister.

She loved all three of her children, loved them fiercely but as she studied her daughter she was struck with the thought that maybe she did indeed play favorites…because when it came down to it, Johanna was always the first one on her mind when she thought of her kids, and she wanted nothing more than to see her happy because in a way she felt that Johanna deserved it in a different way than the others.

"Have you met any nice young men, dear?" Naomi asked.

Johanna's eyes closed for a brief second. Just when she thought she was going to get through this meal without that question. She should've known better. She knew better than anyone that her mother had made it her mission in life to get her married off…the sooner the better. "I know plenty of young men."

"And are you seeing any of them?" Naomi inquired, keeping her tone light as if she were merely making conversation. She knew how much her daughter hated to feel ambushed.

"I see them all the time."

"I meant socially, dear."

Johanna smiled. "Of course I see them socially; we're all out in society together."

Naomi smirked and slightly narrowed her gaze at her daughter. "I think you know that I didn't mean it that way."

"Yes, Mother, I'm aware of that."

"And you're also aware that I despise being called 'mother' too, right?" Naomi asked.

"Yes…that's probably why I did it. It's revenge for asking that question you know that I hate."

"I don't see what the problem is with asking if you've met anyone," her mother remarked.

"The problem is that you ask me that same question every time I talk to you and when the answer isn't the answer you want to hear I get the patented Naomi McKenzie lecture about how I need to get married and produce a grandchild for you."

"Well you do need to do those things," Naomi remarked; "And I don't lecture you, I just want you to be happy. Is that so wrong?"

"No," Johanna sighed. "But who says that I'm not happy?"

Naomi looked at her with indulgence and what she felt might be a hint of sympathy and she hated it. Why must her mother look at her that way?

"Darling, I know that you think you're happy right now with your career and working all the time, but we both know that you want something more."

"I'm not saying that I don't want more out of life, but it will happen when the time is right," Johanna argued.

"You can't just sit around and wait for it to happen," Naomi stated. "Sometimes you have to put forth a little bit of effort to make it happen and I don't think you're making much effort, dear."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to do, Mom? Hang a sign around my neck that says please marry me so my mother will be happy?"

"There's no need to sarcastic."

Johanna sighed and wished that she wasn't the only guest at the table. If only there had been someone else there who could save her from this conversation; but the person sharing the table with her and her mother was her father, and she knew that he wasn't going to save her but seeing as how he was the only lifeline presenting itself, she shot him a pleading look. It was, of course, ignored. She wasn't surprised.

"Mama, please stop," she pleaded. "Things will happen when they happen."

"Like eventually one day you'll grow up and stop referring to your mother as 'Mama'," Frank commented. "For God's sake, Johanna, you're far too old for that."

"I like being called 'Mama'," Naomi retorted. "That's what I always call my mother; and as for you, Johanna, things might happen sooner if you got out more. Why don't you go out with Colleen and Paul once in awhile, I know they've invited you countless times, they know a lot of people."

"First of all," her daughter stated, "I have gone out with Colleen and Paul a few times, and the experience is one I don't want to repeat too often as their engagement as made them nauseating. Secondly, the last time I went out with someone Colleen suggested, he turned out to be a jerk," she said; although she did harbor a warm memory of a steamy encounter with Jim as a result of that break up.

"Well I'm sure they can't all be jerks," her mother replied.

"I'd rather do my own shopping than have Colleen pick out something for me," Johanna remarked.

"Good choice," Frank muttered; catching his daughter by surprise as he lifted to coffee cup to take a sip.

"Now, Frank, you know Paul is a nice man with a good job and he loves Colleen," Naomi exclaimed as she turned her attention to her husband.

"He's as dull as wallpaper paste!" Frank retorted; causing Johanna to dip her head to hide her smile.

"Colleen never has had any damn taste," he went on. "She just takes whatever's in front of her and tells herself she's struck gold, and in reality all she has is an apartment full of ugly furniture and a man so dull that he thinks the stock exchange numbers are at the height of entertainment."

This was better; Johanna thought to herself, someone else was getting criticized and although she loved her sister she couldn't help but laugh quietly. Colleen's wedding plans were driving her father crazy…and her too, truth be told.

"Colleen has taste," her mother argued; "It's just different from yours."

"I think I'm going to have to agree with Dad on this one," Johanna chimed in. "You have seen the bridesmaids dresses that she's been looking at, haven't you?"

"There's nothing wrong with those dresses."

"Yeah there is," Johanna replied, "And I'm not wearing any of them."

"Well, Johanna, you might lack in sense," Frank said, "But at least you have taste."

It was a backhanded compliment but she had learned to take a win no matter how small. "Thanks, Dad."

"We're not discussing Colleen," Naomi said as she took back control of the conversation. "We're talking about you, Johanna. You're not getting any younger, dear. You do have a birthday coming up soon."

"I'm aware of that, but I'm still a few years away from 30 so I really don't think it's a big deal. I have time."

Her mother sighed heavily, and Johanna braced herself for the next round, but then a miracle occurred, or at least what she deemed a miracle, as her father cut off whatever her mother was about to say.

"Enough, Naomi!" he exclaimed. "All I hear day in and day out is Colleen's wedding and how you need to get Johanna married off next. It gives me a headache. If Johanna doesn't get married that's her problem, not yours."

"It most certainly is my problem," she declared. "I'm not going to be here forever, Frank. I don't want her to be alone."

"Where are you going?" Johanna asked; although she knew what her mother was referring to.

"You know what I mean," her mother replied. "One day I'll be gone and I want you settled before I go."

"You're not going anywhere anytime soon," Johanna stated. "I just went to the doctor with you; he said you're very healthy."

"That doesn't mean anything," Naomi replied. "I could still go sooner rather than later."

"Don't talk like that!" both husband and daughter exclaimed.

"Well it's the truth!"

Tears pricked her eyes at the thought of it. "Well you don't need to talk about it," Johanna remarked as she struggled to swallow the lump that had grown in her throat.

"See what you did?" Frank said as he nodded at their daughter. "Now you've set her off and she'll start bawling because you've never cut the damn cord with this one and she's too attached to you."

"I'm her mother, she's supposed to be attached to me," Naomi proclaimed. "And if I haven't cut the cord it's probably because she needs me…and I need her. I have to be sure that she's taken care of; it isn't like I can take comfort in the knowledge that you'll look after her, Frank."

"Don't start that again," Frank said as he jabbed his fork in the air in his wife's direction.

"Can we just stop this!" Johanna yelled. "I'm a grown woman; I can take care of myself and I'm not decrepit yet. I'm sure I still have plenty of chances to find a husband and you're not dying, so just stop it!"

"Don't raise your voice to us!" her father said sternly. "Haven't I told you time and again to leave your attitude at the door?"

"Let's just calm down," Naomi said, as she tried to cool rising tempers. "We'll change the subject. I saw in the paper today that there's going to be a big gala for all of the law firms. Are you going, darling?"

"Yes," Johanna answered; her tone still a bit testy and she could see her mother swallowing back the question that she obviously wanted to ask. "Go ahead, Mom, get it out of your system so you don't bust from holding it in."

"Are you going with someone?" Naomi asked cautiously.

"We just found out that all of the firms were being included in this gala, so as of this moment, I haven't been asked…but I'm sure I will be," she threw in to ease her mother's mind. She wasn't too sure that she'd be asked by anyone that she'd seriously consider but she had to put up the front of optimism to keep the peace.

"Of course you will be," her mother said, patting her hand. "There is something I wanted to discuss with you."

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"Well you know that your father is going out of town to visit his brother, and I thought that maybe instead of staying here by myself that I could come and stay with you."

Her suspicions didn't ease any; her father went on this ten day visit to his brother every year and since her mother didn't get along with her brother-in-law's wife, she always happily stayed behind, and she had never been bothered by staying alone.

"Why?"

"I just told you, dear. I don't really want to be here alone and I don't feel like we get to spend much time together lately with you working so much and Colleen needing so much of my time with wedding plans and all. I just thought it would be nice to be with you…but if you don't want me to stay with you…"

That statement was loaded with the sentiment of 'how can you say no to your mother' and 'the guilt will hound you the rest of your life'. She couldn't tell her no, and she knew that Naomi knew that.

"Of course you can stay with me," Johanna answered. "I'll be happy to have you there…but there is one thing."

"What?"

"I do not want to have the same conversation every day about my love life or lack there of, and I do not want to hear the words 'have you met any nice, young men' every day when I come how from work, okay?"

Naomi smiled, her victory secured. "That's fine, dear. I'm sure we'll have plenty of other things to talk about, and I can take care of you for a few days, just like old times."

That sounded nice, Johanna thought as she returned her mother's smile, and yet as she looked across the table and saw her father shaking his head at her while mouthing 'you'll regret it', she couldn't help but think that he might be right…because she knew her mother. She knew that she'd find a way to poke into her life and ask her usual questions, albeit in a different way so that she could retain her innocence in the matter. Worse yet, she'd probably be saddled with numerous wedding themed visits from Colleen. What had she just gotten herself into?

---

A week later, and three days into her mother's stay with her, Johanna stood in her kitchen, clutching a glass of orange juice while rubbing her fingers across her forehead. She didn't mind her mother staying with her or taking over her kitchen; she didn't even mind sleeping on the couch so that her mother could have her bed. She hadn't even minded their shopping trip the night before in search of a gown for the gala and the comment that had passed through Naomi's lips about how maybe they'd shop for a wedding dress one day. She did, however, mind Colleen showing up and calling constantly. Colleen had arrived at 6:30 that morning, her arms loaded with bridal magazines and God only knew what else and she had breezed into Johanna's apartment and set up camp at her kitchen table.

It was too early in the morning for this, Johanna thought to herself as her overly perky sister chattered endlessly about color schemes. It was bad enough that she had to go to work and listen to the constant buzz about the gala…even worse that she had to come home every evening and tell her mother that she still didn't have a date. Was it really fair that she be constantly subjected to her sister's overly zealous wedding planning too? She had gotten a brief reprieve while she had dressed for work, but when she was finished, their mother had retreated to the bedroom to dress for the day and she was left being the one that Colleen droned on to.

"Colleen, don't you have to go to work?" Johanna asked. Her sister was an interior decorator and her hours were more flexible than hers; but surely she had some project that needed to be done.

"Not until 10," she answered. "What do you think of this veil?"

"I thought you already picked out a veil when you picked your dress?"

"I did but I think I might like this one better, what do you think?"

"It's nice," Johanna answered as she glanced at the glossy page her sister was pointing at.

Colleen sighed in disgust. "Honestly, Jo, can't you even pretend to be a little more enthusiastic?"

"You're enthusiastic enough for all of us," she replied as she took a sip of her juice.

"Well this is the most important occasion of my life!" Colleen exclaimed; "And it would be nice if my sister could at least act like she's happy for me."

"I am happy for you," Johanna answered; and she truly was, "But you've turned into one of those brides who drive everyone crazy, with the exception of mom of course."

"You know, Sissy," Colleen said; falling back on the nickname she had used for Johanna when she was a kid, "Sometimes I think you're jealous."

She rolled her eyes, her head giving a small throb of annoyance. "Of what?"

"Of the fact that I'm younger and getting married before you."

"That couldn't be further from the truth, and I'll thank you to refrain from sounding like your father."

"I do not!"

"You do, and it's bad enough that you look like him," she told her sister.

"I do not!" Colleen exclaimed once again.

Johanna laughed. "With the exception of hair and eye color, you do, you look just like your daddy," she teased.

Her sister glared at her. "Don't laugh, Sissy, on occasion, you act just like him."

It was Johanna's turn to narrow her eyes at her sibling. "I do not, and I will remind you that this is my home you're in and that I will not be disrespected in it."

Colleen smirked. "See, right there it was, just like Dad. Johanna is daddy's girl."

She glanced at her watch. "Alright, Bug," she said; throwing out the name Frankie had bestowed upon their baby sister. "I have just enough time before work to kill you, do you want me to strangle you or do you want me to hit you with a skillet? Your call."

"Don't call me Bug!" Colleen demanded; unfazed by her sister's threat.

"Bug," Johanna repeated just for the satisfaction of irritating her sister. For some reason, she and her siblings could always bring out the worst of immaturity in each other, but at least she had refrained from reaching out and grabbing hold of Colleen's light brown ponytail and giving it a nice jerk…although she had been tempted for a second.

"Geek," her sister returned.

"Better to be a geek than a bug."

"How do you figure?"

"Bugs get squashed, geeks rule the world," Johanna replied; a triumphant smile on her lips.

Colleen rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, Miss big badass attorney; you just think you're all that and a bag of chips, don't you?"

"You better be careful," Johanna warned. "You might need me to be your lawyer some day, and I just might be too busy to take your case."

"Mom would make you take my case and you know it."

She smirked. "You know, Frankie mentioned the other day that we were long over due for a game of 'Slug the Bug'. In a rare moment of kindness, he offered to let me go first this time."

Her sister returned her smirk. "I'm glad I can help the two of you bond; but just know that I hate both of you."

"We hate you too," Johanna replied with a grin but then her sister turned serious.

"I always thought we were close, Jo."

"We are."

Colleen shook her head. "It doesn't seem like it lately. You avoid me any chance you get and you act like you don't want any part of planning my wedding."

"That's not true," Johanna said. "I always give you my opinion when asked for it, but you never seem to like anything I have to say so I don't know why you bother asking."

"I'm trying to include you."

"I am included; I'm the maid of honor."

"You ignored the part about avoiding me."

Johanna sighed and leaned over the back of the chair to wrap her arms around her sister. "Okay, I might have avoided you once or twice, but it doesn't mean I don't love you…it's just like I said earlier, you're driving everyone crazy. I'm sure that after you're married things will be back to normal between us."

"That's terrible, Jo," her sister replied as she shrugged off her embrace.

Johanna moved to one of the chairs and sat down so she could look her sister in the eye. "Look, I'm sorry, but I have mom on my case about settling down, and then you have to jump in and add your two cents and it's just…irritating, okay. All of a sudden, just because you're getting married, it's like I have the plague or something because I'm not in a relationship."

"Do you want me to fix you up with someone?"

"No!" she exclaimed as she shoved away from the table, her annoyance rising. "I don't want any more of your losers, Colleen."

"What, I pick the wrong guy for you once and that means you can't trust me?"

"Yes," Johanna said with a nod. "Yes, it does. I'll find my own man, thank you very much, and speaking of which, it's time for me to go because there's going to be a man outside waiting to drive me to work."

Her sister's face lit up. "Jim?" she asked; a teasing lilt in her voice as she abandoned her chair in favor of following her sister.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, if you must know."

"When do I get to meet him?"

"Not anytime soon if I can help it," she answered as she slipped into her coat and then reached for her briefcase and opened it to see if she had everything she needed.

"I think you like him," her sister taunted.

"Well he is my friend."

Colleen grinned. "I think you have the hots for him."

Johanna turned her gaze towards her sister. "I take it back; I do hate you."

"So you admit it?"

"I admit nothing," she replied. "Have fun with mom."

"I'm telling her that you got it bad for this guy you work with."

"I do not!"

"You do," her sister insisted. "It's so obvious when you talk about him, and I'm telling her."

"You always were a tattle tale, Bug," Johanna stated as she picked up her purse and briefcase, "And keep in mind that there are a few things about you that I could share with our dear mother…like that time you snuck out and came back without your underwear."

Colleen considered that for a moment and then dropped her threat. "Have a nice day, Johanna."

"You too," she told her as she opened the door and called out a goodbye for her mother before making her escape.

The cold air of late January smacked against her face as she stepped out of her building, and thankfully she had timed things just right as Jim's car pulled up to the curb. She hurriedly climbed into the passenger side and sighed with relief as she shut the door.

"What's wrong?" Jim asked; giving her a smile. "Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?"

She returned his smile; the warm tone of his voice soothing her. "I'll tell you later," she answered as she hadn't told him yet about her houseguest or the added bonus of being annoyed more than usual by her sister. She just wanted to bask in his company for a few minutes and allow the mornings conversations to become a distant memory.

He patted her knee. "Don't worry, whatever it is, it'll get better."

"I hope so," she answered as he pulled out into traffic; but she doubted it.

---

Several hours later; Johanna's morning visit with her sister had been pushed to the back of her mind as she focused on her work while trying to drown out the chatter about the rapidly approaching gala; and the gossip of who was going with whom and who was scrambling for a last minute date. She loved parties, but the stress of waiting to be asked and the disappointment of not being asked was enough to ruin it. She was already over the hype, she thought as she headed towards the break room in search of caffeine… and if she was being completely honest with herself, in search of Jim too as she had seen him headed in the same direction ten minutes before. She found him there, just as she had hoped, and Jeff was there too, which brought a smile to her lips. She had no sooner exchanged pleasantries with her friends when Jackie Lawson swept into the room.

Jackie Lawson was a woman who lacked subtlety; she also wasn't the type to wait around to be asked to a party, unlike Johanna. If she wanted something, she went for it, at times reminding her colleagues of a bird of prey but she didn't seem to mind or care. She had a goal in mind, one she had for a long time. She wanted Jeff Campbell.

Jim shared an amused look with Johanna as they stepped back a few paces, allowing Jackie to go at their friend who had the expression of a deer caught in the headlights on his face. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as Jackie boldly asked Jeff to take her to the gala; her tone shamelessly flirtatious and hopeful that today would be the day she'd finally get her man.

"I'm going with Maggie," Jeff declared. "You can ask her if you don't believe me."

"Wouldn't you rather go with me?" Jackie all but cooed. "You'll have a good time, I promise."

Jeff almost grimaced at the thought of it. "I'm going to have a nice time with Maggie. I'm sure you'll find someone else to go with."

She was disappointed to say the least but she wasn't deterred; if she couldn't have what she wanted she'd go for the next best thing…and maybe he'd be jealous if she hooked his best friend.

Jackie turned her gaze towards Jim and before she could speak the question he saw forming on her lips, he hurriedly stated, "I'm going with Johanna."

"You are?" both Jackie and Johanna exclaimed at the same time.

Jeff struggled to stifle his laughter as Jim wrapped an arm around Johanna; tugging her against his side and giving her shoulder a squeeze, hoping she'd get the message to play along.

"Now stop that, Jo," he chuckled lightly. "You already said yes; there's no backing out now."

She held his gaze, an amused smirk on her lips. "What can I say, Jim, I just love to torment you," she stated; although she was briefly tempted to out him.

Jackie didn't seem to be buying their act as she looked to Johanna. "I swear I just overheard Sharon telling someone that you didn't have a date for the gala."

"Sharon doesn't know yet," she answered smoothly. "Sometimes I like to see how long it takes her to find out."

"Besides," Jim added, "I just asked her this morning when I drove her to work."

"Oh," Jackie said; a hint of distaste in her voice that she hadn't been able to link her name to his for the occasion.

"I hear Zach's looking for a date," Johanna tossed out; hoping that a new lead would get Jackie out of their hair.

The plan worked, the predatory gleam returned to the other woman's eyes and she set off on her search for Zach Nelson with hardly a word goodbye. When they were certain she was far enough out of range, Jeff gave into his need to laugh as Johanna smacked Jim's shoulder.

"You do know that while she's searching for her next victim she'll tell everyone that we're going to the gala together, don't you?" she asked.

"So?" Jim responded.

"So now you're going to have to take me or we're going to look like liars."

He shrugged. "So, I'll take you, no big deal."

She narrowed her eyes at him, shifting on her feet as she planted a hand on her hip. "Aren't you being awfully presumptuous? What if I already have a date?"

"You don't; Jackie just said so."

Johanna kept her gaze upon him. "Maybe I do and no one knows."

"Cancel it," Jim replied. "You'll have a better time with me anyway…but I still don't believe that you have one. You couldn't keep that from Sharon for too long."

"Alright, I don't," she retorted; "But does that give you the right to just assume?"

"What's your problem?" he asked. "Don't you want to go with me?"

Personally, he thought it was a great idea to say he was going with her; and if saying it meant he had to do it, well then that was just fine with him. In fact the more he thought about it the better it seemed. He wouldn't have to go alone and he wouldn't have to go with someone that might turn out to be…less than appealing…as a lot of women seemed to be lately since he had somehow started measuring them up against the woman standing in front of him. If he took Johanna, then he was guaranteed to have a good time. He already enjoyed her company and being claimed for the evening might cut down on the number of offers she got to dance. This was the perfect plan, Jim couldn't help but think.

"I think she wants you to ask her," Jeff commented as he leaned against the counter that housed the coffee maker.

"Didn't I just do that?" Jim asked.

His friend laughed. "No, you did it all wrong. You told her she was going with you…and in my vast personal experience, I've learned that women don't respond favorably to that. So you might want to try it again, because that's obviously what she's waiting for."

"Fine," he said as he turned his attention to his green eyed colleague, who was studying him intently, her emotions hidden behind the mask she usually reserved for the courtroom. "Johanna, will you go to the gala with me?"

She smiled, a glimmer of mischief appearing in her eyes. "Well I don't know; it's such a big decision to make and I probably should consider my other possibilities. I'll have to think about it."

Jeff's laughter rang out in the background and Jim smirked at her. "Maybe I just won't go at all," he stated as he moved to walk away.

"Wait," Johanna laughed as she snagged hold of his suit jacket, keeping him in front of her. She had been a little perturbed that he had seemingly used her to evade Jackie's attempts at hooking him; but she'd be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't been hoping that he might ask her to go with him.

"What?"

Her smile was soft as her fingers remained curled around the material of his jacket. "I'd love to go with you, Jim," she told him; her voice low and conveying sincerity and fondness for him.

His face lit up as he smiled and she couldn't help but think about how much she loved looking into those blue eyes of his. He was so handsome, especially when he smiled. Her fingers itched to reach out and skim his features; her heart doing a small flip as she felt his hands settle on her waist. Their gazes remained locked on one another, that magnetic pull between them making itself known and felt. His eyes strayed towards her lips, a need to claim them drenching his thoughts until he forced his gaze back to her eyes, which seemed to have darkened in color as they lingered there, wanting something they knew they couldn't have.

Jeff had a feeling that he had been forgotten as the sparks flew between his friends and electrified the room. He grinned as they subconsciously swayed towards one another, closing the small amount of distance between them. He thought for sure that they were going to seal the deal with a kiss, but then they pulled back, as if they suddenly remembered themselves and where they were. Jim dropped his hands from her waist and she took a step back. He could just smack their heads together, Jeff thought to himself, and since they had chickened out, he felt he now had the right to tease them.

"Very good, Jim," he said. "Now give her a kiss and tell her you'll pick her up at seven."

Jim shot him a look. "I don't need your help."

"Apparently you do," his friend laughed. "I just had to coach you on how to properly ask her to be your date."

"Have you ever punched him?" Johanna asked Jim.

"No, but I have a feeling he'll drive me to it somewhere in the near future."

"Will you call me when the time comes?" she asked. "I'd like to watch."

"I'll make sure you have a front row seat," he promised.

"And I'll get the credit for bringing the two of you together for a second date," Jeff quipped; "And people will take note that I sacrificed my good looks for the cause."

Johanna turned her head in his direction. "Go away," she laughed, "Or I might go down the hallway and tell Maggie that you really want to go to the gala with Jackie."

"That's cold, Sassy," he replied as he picked up his mug, "And while I don't think you're much of a threat, I'll go and allow you two to work out your details," he said with a grin.

When he was gone, Jim drifted towards the coffee maker to pour himself a cup of coffee. Johanna followed behind him, leaning against the wall opposite the coffee maker.

"I have to warn you about something," she stated as he finished preparing his coffee.

"What?" he asked as a grin slide across his face. "Are you going to try and take advantage of me at the end of the evening?"

"You wish," she laughed.

"I don't mind if you do," he replied with amusement.

Johanna smirked. "I'm sure you wouldn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he teased as he moved closer to her.

"You're smart, figure it out."

Jim smiled as his eyes raked over her as she leaned against the wall and the urge to kiss her welled up within him once again. He could probably get away with it now that they were alone and out of view of the door but he pushed the urge aside as he often did.

"My mother is staying with me while my father is out of town," Johanna said; taking his silence to mean that she had his attention.

"And?"

"And she'll still be with me this weekend…and you're a nice, young man."

Jim laughed as it dawned on him what she was trying to tell him. "I take it that your mother is going to bait her hook for some son-in-law fishing."

"I'll talk to her," she promised. "I'll try to keep her from…interrogating you; but I can't promise anything."

"That's okay," he said; reaching out and allowing his knuckles to graze her cheek. "I can handle it."

"I'll try to beat her to the door but she'll still want to meet you," she replied as she tried to work out a solution despite his answer. "Or I could just meet you downstairs."

Jim shook his head. "And have your mother think that I don't respect you enough to come to the door?"

"You may regret that way of thinking," Johanna said. "You don't know what she's like when she has a potential son-in-law lighting up her radar. She'll be all over you."

"I'm not worried. If I can handle my mother than surely I can handle yours for a few minutes."

"Don't be too sure."

He looked at her. "Are you anything like your mother, Jo?"

She thought about it for a moment. "The general consensus seems to be that I am, although sometimes I have my doubts."

"Then I'll be able to handle her," he grinned.

She smirked at him; her tone becoming quiet in a somewhat seductive lilt as she brushed away a speck of lint from his suit jacket. "Is that what you think you do, Jim? You think you handle me?"

Those sparks reignited and the room filled with intensity as he shifted closer; leaving her no choice but to remain with her back against the wall. He'd love nothing more than to handle her…but he'd settle for a kiss. The merest pressure of her lips against his would relieve enough tension to bring it back down to a more tolerable level but once again he held back; crowding her personal space instead, a satisfied smile on his face as he noted the slight change in her breathing.

"I think I do a pretty good job at it," he replied; his voice teasing in her ear.

"Maybe I just let you think that," she whispered; feeling the weight of his hand settle against her waist once again. Her heart was fluttering wildly from his nearness and she wanted him to kiss her so badly that she could almost taste it.

"If that's what you want to believe," Jim chuckled quietly; his mouth grazing against her temple, her eyes flicking shut as he moved to her cheek.

He just had to kiss her; it was almost unbearable not to but he shouldn't. Not here where it would be so easy for them to be caught, which would only amp up the speculation about the true nature of their relationship…and yet knowing that it was a risk to kiss her there made him want to do it all the more. He felt her hand curling around the material of his jacket once again and he knew that she wanted it too. He quickly glanced around the room, ensuring that they were still alone, his ears straining for the sound of anyone approaching from the hallway but he heard nothing. He gave in; capturing her lips in a kiss that he struggled to keep under control as the atmosphere smoldered around them. They'd have to settle for only one kiss this time, it was too risky to indulge in more, he thought as he broke it off and pulled back enough to brush his lips against her cheek.

"I'll pick you up at seven on Saturday," he said as he stepped back from her.

She nodded as she shook away the haze that his kiss had left her in. "I'll be ready."

"One more thing," Jim said as he retrieved his cup of coffee.

"What?"

"Don't mention that to Jeff, I don't want him thinking that I took his advice."

She laughed, the intensity dialed back, normalcy resumed. "Your secret is safe with me."

"I'll see you later," he said with a smile as he walked away, leaving her against the wall of the break room.

Johanna took a breath once he was gone; but she didn't even have a grasp on her swirling thoughts before Sharon appeared in line of vision.

"What's going on in here?" Sharon asked.

"Nothing, I'm alone."

"I saw Jim leaving," her friend stated with an amused grin.

"There's still nothing going on," Johanna remarked.

"You might want to peel yourself away from the wall and wipe that 'I've just been kissed senseless' look off your face if you expect me to believe that."

The comment brought Johanna back to her senses and she pushed away from the wall and shot her friend a look. "Nothing happened," she said once more as she filled her coffee cup.

"Sure it didn't," Sharon replied; "But maybe you should go throw some cold water in your face anyway…cool off from the nothing that happened so you'll be able to concentrate. You have a meeting in twenty minutes."

"Thank God," Johanna said as she took her cup and drifted towards the door; that would spare her from having this conversation.

"I also hear that you have a date with a certain someone for the gala," Sharon called after her.

"Thank God for that too," she said as she left her secretary behind. It looked like the day that had started off badly was suddenly making a turn around.

---

After Johanna had applied her makeup and slipped into her dress which Naomi zipped for her; she turned towards her mother and looked her in the eye. "Mom," she said; her tone laced with seriousness; "I want you to promise me that you will behave when Jim gets here."

Naomi smiled. "What is it that you're afraid I'm going to do?"

She gave her a knowing look. "You know what I'm talking about and I don't want it to happen tonight. Jim is my friend; I don't want you going after him like he's the last available man on the face of the earth in your quest to marry me off."

"You have my word. I wouldn't dream of embarrassing you. Would you like me to help you with your hair?"

Johanna studied her for a moment; that seemed almost too easy, but her mother looked sincere…mostly, and she didn't really have time to waste with trying to break her as if she were a witness on the stand. "Alright," she answered. "That would be nice."

Her mother smiled and nodded and guided her to the bench seat of her vanity where she sat down and allowed her to take over the task of styling her hair.

"Tell me about your friend," Naomi said as moved into place behind her daughter and dragged a brush through her hair.

Johanna turned slightly, peering up at her mother with a hint of suspicion in her eyes.

"What?" Naomi asked; "I'm not allowed to ask about your friends?"

"We are just friends," Johanna reiterated.

She patted her shoulder. "I know, dear," she replied smoothly. "If you were dating him, you'd tell me so I'd leave you alone."

Johanna thought about that for a moment and she couldn't argue with her mother's logic. Maybe she was just being overly suspicious; maybe her mother was just trying to show that she was interested in other aspects of her life for a change. She turned back towards the mirror and Naomi smiled at her successful cover of her true intentions for the conversation.

"I'm sure I've talked about Jim before."

Naomi nodded as she reached for the curling iron. "Yes, you've mentioned him in conversation," she answered while internally adding that his name had been coming up frequently lately. "But you haven't really told me much about him other than the fact that you work with him."

"What do you want to know?"

"What's he like?"

Jim was so many things, Johanna thought; and she didn't want to give an answer that her mother might twist into something other than it was. "He's very kind," she began as she tried to carefully select her words but the task was more difficult than she had thought it would be.

"Kind in what ways?"

"He's kind in the way that you can always rely on him; he's always willing to help with a problem. He's always there for me," she replied; that last part slipping out before she could stop it.

"That is the mark of a good friend," her mother commented as she too chose her words wisely. "What else?"

"He's very intelligent. He's great at what he does. He cares about people and he always does his best for them. He's not in it for the money or for power or bragging rights. He's there because he cares and because he thinks he can make a difference."

"Then the two of you must have a lot of common," Naomi said as she curled her daughter's hair.

"Yeah, we do," Johanna replied; her tone soft as she relaxed and began to think of other ways to describe him. "He always knows how to make me smile…even when I don't want to. He can always make me laugh, even on the worst day."

"Those are fine traits to have," her mother commented as she bit back a smile while studying her daughter's reflection in the mirror.

"We have fun together. He's just the kind of person you always want to be around. He makes you feel safe, he's warm and caring."

"Tell me more," Naomi said gently; being careful to keep her tone at a level that implied mere curiosity and interest.

Johanna had been lulled into a sense of security as her mother hadn't tried to twist her words or turn the conversation towards romance and in light of that she began to share some of her stories with her as she arranged her hair.

"It sounds like he looks after you," Naomi said when it seemed as though Johanna had run out of stories and glowing words that she was willing to share.

"I suppose he does in some ways," she answered as she handed her a barrette to pull back the sides of her hair with.

Naomi smiled slightly, she had wheedled just enough information out of her to gain a clear picture of what was going on in this 'just friends' relationship. Her daughter, whether she realized it or not, was falling in love with Jim Beckett.

A knock sounded at the door just as she slid the second barrette into place and Johanna's anxiety returned as her eyes darted around the room. "Where's my purse?" she asked. "I could've sworn I got it out."

Naomi shook her head. "No, dear, I don't think you did," she answered; although she knew full well that she had…and that while Johanna was in the shower she had put it back in the closet just to ensure that her daughter would be momentarily detained, leaving her with no choice but to allow her to answer the door.

"You look for it and do what you need to do and I'll get the door," her mother said smoothly.

Johanna grabbed her wrist as she was about to jet out of the bedroom. "You look, I'll go."

"Don't be silly," Naomi replied. "I'll get the door and then you can make an entrance as a lady should."

"You promised," she reminded her as a second knock sounded.

"Don't worry," her mother answered as she shook off her grip. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"That's what worries me," Johanna muttered as her mother hurried away.

---

Naomi turned the lock and opened the door, smiling warmly at the man standing before her on the other side. "You must be Jim."

Jim smiled. "Yes, I am, and you must be Mrs. McKenzie."

"I am, but please call me Naomi, all of Johanna's friends do," she said as she ushered him inside. "Speaking of Johanna, she's just finishing up; she'll be out in just a minute."

"No hurry," he stated as he studied Johanna's mother. They were the same height and build and their features were very similar with the exception of the eyes. Naomi's eyes were blue, making him recall the fact that Johanna had mentioned inheriting her green eyes from her aunt. He wondered who she got her hair color from, as her mother's hair was light brown.

"I'm afraid my daughter doesn't keep me in the loop very much," Naomi commented lightly. "How long have the two of you known each other?" she asked, although she figured she knew the ballpark estimate.

Jim smiled; that felt like the opening pitch, he thought to himself, the game was about to begin. "It'll be two years at the end of May."

Her eyes lit up. "You recall the date. That's not a trait many men have."

He laughed. "Well I don't recall the exact date; just that it was late in May."

"But the point remains that you remember the occasion and the round about time it occurred…it must've been a special moment," Naomi said slyly.

Oh yes, Jim thought, the woman was definitely fishing and sizing him up just as he had been warned and the twinkle in her blue eyes screamed matchmaking mama; but he didn't allow that to throw him off balance. He had decided on the way over to throw the woman a few bones in hopes of getting her off Johanna's back with the idea that she did have a man in her life.

"Johanna's a special person," he replied. "I'm glad to have met her."

"She is very special, isn't she?" her mother replied; maternal pride coloring her tone. "But of course I'm biased."

"You can't be blamed for that," he assured.

"I take it that the two of you are good friends?"

He nodded. "I like to think so; I hope she does as well."

"Oh I'm sure she does," Naomi replied. "Do you go out together often?"

"I guess you could say that. We usually end up in the same group of people."

Naomi frowned slightly and he couldn't help but be amused by it, nor could he help tossing out a small piece of info for her. "Sometimes it's just the two of us," he told her. It wasn't a lie; he and Johanna often ate together, or spent time together without others around.

"Oh?" her mother said, perking up once again. "That's nice; I imagine the two of you have a good time together."

"I enjoy her company."

The older woman beamed. "My Johanna is a wonderful conversationalist."

"Yes she is," he agreed; and then without meaning to, he began to list her other qualities. "She's very smart and witty and she always has a knack for knowing what to say and when. She's a joyful person, warmhearted and caring."

"You must think very highly of her," Naomi said.

"I'm very fond of her," Jim stated; feeling it was safe to admit that, after all it was acceptable to be fond of a friend.

The comment was music to Naomi's ears. "I'm glad to know that she has a friend like you who cares so much about her. I do worry about her, you know, but my mind can be eased knowing she has someone like you around."

Jim smiled. "You don't need to worry; I'll look after her for you."

"I'd appreciate that."

He didn't have time to form a comment as they heard Johanna's footsteps in the hallway, causing Naomi to drop her line of conversation and take on the look of a woman who had been merely indulging in small talk to pass the time.

"I'm sorry I'm running behind," Johanna said as she stepped into the room.

Jim's breath caught as his eyes took in the sight before him. She was stunning in her midnight blue evening gown; its velvet bodice studded with small glittering silver beads that were arranged in an intricate design. The floor length skirt appeared to be silk, and matching heels peeked out from beneath the hem. Her hair laid in curls, the sides pulled back with barrettes that were obviously designed to appear like they were studded with diamonds. Diamond earrings dangled from her ears, an elegant sapphire and diamond necklace glittered around her neck.

She moved towards him, a small smile hovering on her lips as he had yet to utter a word.

"You look…incredible," he breathed as his gaze moved over her once more.

Her smile widened, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she dipped her head in a moment of shyness. "Thank you," she murmured and then she met his eye. "You don't clean up too badly yourself," she added as she admired the way he looked in his tuxedo. She hadn't thought it was possible for him to look more handsome than he normally did, but somehow he did.

"But not nearly as well as you do. You look beautiful, Jo."

"And you look very handsome," she replied; unable to keep herself from reaching out and smoothing away a small wrinkle in the lapel of his jacket.

He grinned. "For the first time in my life, everyone is going to envy me."

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Because I'm going to have the prettiest girl in the room," he answered. "I better keep you close or someone might try to steal you away."

Johanna laughed softly. "I doubt that but it's sweet of you to say so."

"You will be to me."

When he said things like that it was all she could do not to kiss him, and kissing him in front of her mother, who she had momentarily forgotten about, wouldn't be a good thing at all.

"We better get going," Johanna stated, the thought of her mother standing in the background intently studying them, causing her to pull back a bit.

Jim nodded in agreement and when she reached for the coat that she had lying over the arm of the sofa, he took it from her hands and held it out for her to slip into.

"Where's your coat?" she asked; realizing that he didn't have one on.

He smiled; it drove her crazy when he didn't wear a coat. "I didn't wear one; it doesn't feel that bad out."

"It's January!" she exclaimed as she sighed in disgust. "You're going to get sick and wind up in the hospital and then who's going to entertain me at work?"

"The hospital has visiting hours," he replied as his hand fell to the small of her back as they moved towards the door. "You can come and see me; or I'll just come stay with you and let you nurse me back to health."

She smirked at him, "You might not like my bedside manner."

"I've yet to see anything about you that I don't like, Johanna," he returned with a teasing grin as he opened the door for them.

"Have fun," her mother called out before Johanna could form a response.

"I will," she answered, turning her head in her mother's direction. "Goodnight."

Her mother told them goodnight, and Johanna did her best to ignore the sparkle in the older woman's eyes as she closed the door.

Naomi smiled as the door shut behind her daughter and her 'friend'. Her stay with Johanna was becoming more successful than she had planned. When she had thought up this idea, she had done so thinking that maybe if she put herself in her daughter's day to day life, she might learn more about what was going on with her eldest girl. Sometimes she felt that Johanna wasn't very forthcoming with the details of her life, and other times she thought that maybe she was missing something subtle in her words and expressions.

She had, however, picked up on the more frequent mentions of the name 'Jim' and when she and Colleen discussed the fact that Johanna was distancing herself from them lately, Colleen had made a few comments about how she thought that her sister had feelings for a man she worked with…a man named Jim. That was when she made her final decision to plant herself in Johanna's apartment during Frank's absence. She had thought that maybe through conversation and subtle questions that she could learn a bit more about what Johanna was holding back and keeping to herself, all the while trying to erase the distance that she had suddenly seemed to be placing between them.

Naomi now felt that she had some of the answers she had been seeking. Her daughter was distancing herself because she didn't feel like she was measuring up in regards to her sister now that Colleen was getting married. She'd deny it of course; she was like her father in that respect. If Frank didn't want to feel something, he just pretended that it wasn't there; Johanna seemed to have inherited that habit. They just pushed things away and locked them up somewhere deep inside and went on about their business. She'd have to try harder to show her that she was still on the equal footing that she had always been with her siblings, and that she only wanted to see her happy which was why she annoyed her about finding a man. That thought brought up the next answer that she had been looking for.

Johanna wasn't interested in going out and making an effort to find a man because she had already found one at work. Sure they were still dancing around one another and classifying their relationship as friends only, but she wasn't blind, nor was she stupid. Colleen's opinion seemed to be on par; because after seeing Johanna with Jim, and after hearing her daughter sing his praises, she felt certain in thinking and saying that feelings were most definitely involved on both parts…and not just feelings of friendship… but feelings of a romantic nature.

He'd do nicely she thought, as she reviewed her assessment of Jim Beckett. He appeared to be everything that her daughter had said; he was kind, warm, caring. He'd be able to provide well for her, and the fact that they were both in the same field would lend itself to compatibility…not that she felt they had any problems there. Their personalities seemed to mesh well together, and there was no denying the fact that they were attracted to each other. She could see those sparks between them; could see that her daughter's unspoken feelings weren't going unreturned. She saw the way Jim looked at Johanna, she could tell that there was more than friendship in his gaze. Something deeper was building between them and they didn't even realize it…or they were pretending not to, Naomi thought, which she wouldn't put past Johanna at all.

They looked nice together; as if they were made for one another. He was a good looking young man and of course her baby girl was a beauty...which would guarantee that any grandchild they gave her would be beautiful. Yes, he'd do nicely; it looked like a good strong match. She liked him, he'd be a good son-in-law and she had no doubt that he was the type of man who would love and cherish her daughter the way she deserved…in fact, she had feeling that he may already be on that path of loving and cherishing her. Now she just had to make Johanna see that; she had to reason with her stubborn girl and make her realize that she needed to listen more to her heart instead of listening so much to that head of hers. She just had to point out to her that love was blossoming right in front of her face and all she had to do was nurture it and take hold of it. She had a feeling that would all be easier said than done.

---

They had been at the gala for a good while before Johanna finally got up the nerve to broach of the subject about what her mother had to said to him before she had entered the room. "What's on your mind, Jo?" he asked; as if he had sensed the direction of her thoughts.

"What did my mother say to you?"

He gave a quiet laugh. "Don't worry, she didn't say much."

That did little to reassure her and she held his gaze, silently begging for him to put her out of her misery.

"She was doing a little fishing," he admitted. "But nothing that couldn't be handled and nothing overly intrusive. She says you don't keep her in the loop very much and she used that as her excuse to find out how long I've known you and if we're good friends."

"God she's slick," Johanna commented with a shake of her head. "She had just gotten done with questioning me about you when you knocked at the door."

"It's alright; I gave her the answers she was looking for and you appeared before she could dig deeper."

Something clicked in her mind and she looked up at Jim in astonishment. "She hid my purse so she'd have to answer the door," she stated. "I know she did; that was why it had suddenly disappeared. I swear she just doesn't give up."

"She's tenacious," Jim remarked; "Kind of like someone else I know."

"Telling me I'm like my mother isn't going to score you any points this evening," Johanna said with a smirk; her eyes glittering with amusement.

"Well in that case I'll change my tune; are you sure the two of you are related? You're nothing like her."

"That's better," she laughed.

"Except in looks," he added. "You do look like her…with the exception of hair color."

"Are you digging for information now?" Johanna asked. "Did my mother rub off on you that quickly?"

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," he laughed; "And I'm sure digging for information can be chalked up to an occupational hazard. I doubt that your mother's investigative instinct is catching."

"God I hope not, that's the last thing I need."

"It'll be okay," he told her. "She'll find something else to give her attention to eventually. Once your sister is married she'll probably spend her time hassling her for a grandchild."

"And then when Colleen obeys her and produces one, it'll all be back on me," Johanna answered. "I may have to leave town."

"Pick me up on your way out. I'm not staying here without you."

She laughed; no one could make her feel better like Jim could. She didn't know how he did it, but somehow he managed and it endeared him to her all the more. It was nice to be the center of his attention for the evening too, she thought to herself as they grew quiet. The only time they had spent apart so far had been when she danced with Jeff. She liked this, probably a little too much, her mind added but she shrugged it away. She should be allowed one night of fantasy she figured, and for tonight she just wanted to indulge in feeling like she was his.

"I have my father's hair color," Johanna said quietly as she caught his eye.

"What about the aunt with the green eyes?" Jim asked; knowing that she probably wasn't comfortable with the thought that she shared a trait with her father even if it was something minuscule like hair color.

She smiled. "Her hair is the same color as mine. Which one of your parents do you look like?"

"My father," he answered.

"What's his name?"

"Robert," he told her. "My mother's name is Elizabeth."

She gave a short quiet laugh and he looked at her with puzzlement in his eyes. "What?" he asked.

"My middle name is Elizabeth," she answered.

Jim grinned. "We better keep this information from your mother; she might think that it's fate that you share a name with my mother."

"There's no doubt in my mind that she'd make that leap," Johanna answered; "But I've always kind of hated the name Elizabeth."

"Why?"

"Because it's so common. Just about every woman out there has it as a middle name or a first name."

"Is it your mother's middle name?" he asked. "My middle name is Robert, after my father."

"No, her middle name is Alexandra, and that got passed on to Colleen…which is just another reason why I should hate her. She got a better name than me."

"So you aren't too fond of the name Johanna either?"

"No, never have been."

He gave her a grin. "You have it rough, Jo, a name you don't like, a meddling mother, a traitor for a sister."

"Don't forget a mean brother and cold hearted father," she threw in. "I should just find someone to run away with."

"I already volunteered to go with you; you remember that" he told her.

"I'll keep that in mind."

He held her gaze. "Forget about all of them for the night. All that matters is that we're here and we're having a good time. This is your break from the madness of your family life."

A smile graced her lips. "It's just the break I've been needing," she told him while silently adding that he made it all the sweeter.

---

A while later, Jim's gaze scanned the room in search of his date as he stood with Jeff and Maggie; along with Sharon and her date, their colleague, Philip Harper.

"She'll be back," Maggie teased as she realized that Jim wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"I know that," he replied as he forced his attention back to his friends. Johanna's attention had been caught by a woman she had gone to college with and when the woman beckoned her in her direction, he had sent her off on her own to give her privacy as she chatted with her friend and he had retreated to their usual circle of allies.

"Aren't you glad that I coached you into asking her out," Jeff quipped as he wrapped an arm around Maggie's waist.

Jim shot him a look "It's not like that and you all know it."

"Of course it's not," they all replied in unison.

"I need to find a better class of friends," he commented.

"With the exception of Sassy, right?" Jeff asked.

"Right," Jim replied. "I'll keep her."

Sharon grinned mischievously. "I'm sure Jo would enjoy being kept by you, Jim."

"I know that I publically claim you all as my friends," Jim said; "But the truth is, I really hate all of you."

"That sounds like something Johanna would say," Maggie said with amusement. "She must be rubbing off on you."

He smirked at her. "Well that's better than what might rub off on you if you're not careful," he replied as he gestured to Jeff.

Jim missed Jeff's remark as his eyes landed on Johanna who was headed in their direction, only to be stopped by Charles Patterson who had seemed to appear out of nowhere. He watched intently, wishing he could hear what was being said. He saw Johanna shake her head, could make out that her lips had formed the word 'no' and she had started to turn away from him when he grabbed hold of her arm. Jim saw red and was moving across the room with purpose written in his stride.

"Uh Oh," Sharon said as she realized why Jim was storming off.

Jeff followed her gaze. "Oh hell. We're going to have bloodshed."

---

"It's just a dance," Charles was saying as he gripped Johanna's arm.

"I said no," she remarked firmly as she tried to pull her arm away from him. She didn't want to cause a scene but if he didn't let go soon, she wouldn't have a choice. She'd just have to kick him or hit him and deal with the notoriety that would follow.

"Come on, Johanna," he said, that annoyingly fake smile on his face. "Spend some time with a real man for a change."

She scoffed. "You don't even know what a real man is."

"I could change your mind about that," he remarked; the look in his eyes conveying the thought that he really did believe that he could make any woman fall at his feet eventually.

"I highly doubt that and I'm not dancing with you."

"Let go of her, now," Jim stated as he stepped into Johanna's line of vision.

Charles grinned as he looked at his adversary. "Relax, Jim. I'm just asking her to dance."

"And she said no," he said firmly; his tone carrying an edge.

"It's really none of your business," Charles retorted.

"She's here with me; that makes it my business. Now this is the last time I'm going to tell you to let go of her."

"And if I don't?"

Johanna had a feeling that she knew the answer to that but she remained quiet, figuring that maybe it was best just to let Jim handle it…even though she was always telling him that she could take care of herself.

"If you don't," Jim said; "Then I'm going to break your hand for you."

"Is that right?" Patterson replied.

"That's right."

Charles sneered but dropped his hand from her arm. "You know, Jim, you're awful possessive of someone who doesn't have a ring on her finger or your name tattooed on her."

Jim gaze was icy as he glared at Charles. "She's with me," he reiterated. "And when she's with me, she's mine. Now if she wanted to dance with you, she would, but she doesn't so get lost and while you're at it, stay the hell away from her."

Charles scoffed as he looked them both over as if they were beneath him. "You two deserve each other. You're a nobody," he said to Jim and then turning his gaze to Johanna, he added, "And you're never going to get anywhere unless you do it on your…"

"You finish that sentence and I swear to God you won't walk out of here tonight," Jim threatened as he cut him off.

Charles smirked at them and was about to go but finally Johanna broke her silence. "Just so you know, Charles, if the only way I can get anywhere is through you, than I'd rather be nowhere."

"That's the best place for both of you," he stated before storming away.

"Did he hurt you?" Jim asked as he turned his attention to Johanna, his hand caressing the area of her arm that Charles had gripped.

"No," she answered; her heart still filled with the warmth that spread through her at the sound of the words Jim had spoken declaring her as his, even if he had only meant it for the night. "I was trying to get out of it without causing a scene."

"Are you sure?" he asked as he gently pulled her closer and examined the area, searching her skin for any sign of bruising…and od help Charles if he found any. "Because I don't mind causing a scene."

Johanna smiled as she took his hand. "I'm fine, Jim…although it would've been a better story to tell my mother if you had hit him," she said with amusement in hopes of lighting his mood.

He grinned. "I was more than willing to do that if the situation called for it; but then I would've gone to jail and then what would you do?"

"I'd bail you out," she laughed.

"Would you?"

"Of course I would," she answered, her eyes betraying her affection for him.

"A trip to jail might cost me a few points on your mother's potential son-in-law scorecard though," he teased.

Johanna shook her head as she looped her arm through his; steering him in the direction of the dance floor so she could indulge in the need to be in his arms. "Oh no, she'd consider that as defending my honor. You'd get a thousand bonus points and she'd be reserving a church and picking out names for our kids."

Jim laughed as he pulled her into his arms for the dance she obviously wanted. "I hope the kids look like you."

"Why, so you can deny paternity?" she quipped.

"No," he replied; his eyes gleaming with humor. "I just want them to be beautiful."

A light blush spread across her cheeks. "They'd be beautiful if they looked like you," she remarked as she gazed at him. "You're very handsome."

He smiled. "You probably say that to all the men who save you from womanizing jackasses."

Johanna laughed softly. "No, you're the only one."

He chuckled, his eyes locked on hers. "Well then I guess that makes me a special nobody."

"He's the nobody, but if he wants to think it's us, well then I couldn't ask for better company in the club."

Jim pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I'm okay with being a nobody as long as I can be one with you…although you are most definitely something."

"So are you," she whispered.

"I guess there's one thing I can say about Charles," Jim commented.

"What's that?"

"He proved me right; I let you out of my sight and someone tried to steal you away."

Johanna laughed. "I guess I better not wander away from you anymore."

Jim smiled. "Well since I've been accused of being possessive, I may as well act like it and tell you that I didn't plan on letting you slip away again."

"Sounds good to me," she replied with a smile; content to stay there on the dance floor with him all night long.

---

The party broke up sometime after two and as Jim and Johanna walked towards his car, he scrambled to think of something to keep them out a while longer. He mentioned coffee and she agreed without hesitation. They found a small diner that was open all night and they lingered there until dawn, discussing the gala and what they had heard and seen; and when they exhausted that line of conversation they talked about whatever came to mind. It dawned on him that she seemed more relaxed that evening than she had for the last several weeks and he realized that her mother's hounding and her sister's wedding plans were taking more of a toll on her than she was letting on. He'd have to make more of an effort to keep her spirits up; he thought to himself as they exited the diner and climbed back into his car for the trip back to her apartment. He'd have to try and get her to talk more about what was bugging her instead of allowing her to get away with saying 'I'm fine' as often as she did.

Johanna's hand slipped into his as they walked up the sidewalk in front of the building and she kept hold of it for the ride on the elevator; not letting go until they had paused next to her door. She wished it didn't have to end. She always became so comfortable when she was with; he always made her feel cared for and wanted and she always wanted those feelings to linger as long as possible.

"A little bird told me that you have a birthday next week," Jim said as they lingered outside her door.

Johanna smirked. "And does this little bird have a name?"

"I promised not to tell."

"Sharon," she muttered.

He laughed. "I didn't say that."

"You don't have to say it. I know."

"Just to make sure I received the right information; it is the 4th, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"I must've missed it last year," Jim commented; a part of himself ashamed by the fact that he hadn't known her birth date, especially when he was aware of the fact that she knew his.

"You were out of town," she replied; her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she berated herself for revealing the fact that she could recall that he hadn't been around for her birthday the year before.

Jim took pity on her as her gaze darted away from his and allowed her remark to go without mention. "What do you have planned for your birthday?"

"Nothing," she answered. "Due to certain circumstances, I've reached that 'I don't want to acknowledge it age' a few years early."

"Well we can't have that," Jim said. "You have to be celebrated."

"Why?" she asked with a soft laugh, being mindful of the early hour.

"Because you're you," he answered as he held her gaze.

"So? That's nothing special."

"You're wrong," he told her quietly as he wrapped his hand around hers and gave it a squeeze. "You're special to a lot of people, Jo."

Johanna looked into his eyes, a string of words forming in her mind that created a question she wouldn't dare voice, but he must've read her mind.

"You're special to me," he confessed.

The statement filled her with warm fluttery feelings and her lips curved upwards in a smile that almost stole his breath as she murmured, "You're special to me too."

"Does that mean you'll let me take to dinner for your birthday?" he asked; finally voicing the notion that had formed in his brain as soon as Sharon had given him a clue.

"You don't have to do that," Johanna replied although she couldn't think of a better way to spend the occasion.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to."

"Alright," she whispered as she tried to keep her smile from conveying that warmth that wouldn't seem to abate, but instead kept growing in relation to the knowledge that he wanted to do something for her birthday. "That would be nice."

"I knew you'd see it my way," he grinned.

She laughed quietly. "Maybe you charmed me into accepting."

"I'm sure I did," he boasted playfully. "I did offer to defend your honor after all."

"My hero," she quipped.

"All in a days work."

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get that soft smile to leave her lips and she hoped that she didn't look like a giddy teenager to him. That would be even worse than revealing things that she shouldn't. "Thank you," she said as she held his gaze.

"For what?"

"For getting rid of Charles for one."

Jim gave a slight shake of his head. "No need to thank me for that. I was happy to do it."

"Thank you for tonight," Johanna told him. "I had a great time."

He smiled as he reached out and cupped her face, his thumb rubbing against her cheek. "You don't need to thank me for that either. I had a great time too, in fact, how about I just pick you up at the same time for the next one?"

Her smile widened into a grin. "Planning ahead?"

"I have to. It's a jungle out there and I don't want to take the chance that you might not be standing next to me the next time a vulture is about to swoop in and make me its prey of choice."

She shook her head at him, a giggle escaping her lips. "You really know the way to a girl's heart, Jim."

He laughed. "Well you don't want me to get snatched up by Jackie, do you?"

"Oh I don't know, it might be fun to watch you squirm," she replied in amusement.

"What if you needed saving and I couldn't get away from her?" he teased.

"That could be a problem," she answered; "So I guess we better just stick together…especially since you've obviously claimed me as your damsel in distress."

Mischief gleamed in his eyes. "I've always wanted a damsel."

"I think you spend too much time with Jeff," she laughed.

"It's possible," Jim agreed. "I was a decent human being before he corrupted me."

"You're lucky I'm tolerant of such corruptness," Johanna replied, her hand brushing against his arm, unable to resist the urge to touch him.

"Lucky indeed," he agreed; his hands moving to cradle her waist. He just never could seem to keep his hands off of her. "Maybe you can be a good influence on me."

"I doubt it," she quipped; her hand taking on a mind of its own as it slid against his chest. "You're probably too far gone."

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing," he remarked; his tone low as that flame between them ignited and began to burn.

"Maybe not," Johanna whispered, her heart picking up its rhythm. She had a feeling that she knew where this moment was headed and she prayed she wasn't wrong as anticipation kicked in her stomach.

This was beginning to become a frequent habit, Jim though to himself as he went through his routine debate about the merits of giving in to that spark of desire. He had kissed her in the break room the week before and earlier in the month they had shared a few kisses after she had gotten drunk during his attempt to cheer her up. Of course she had no memory of that…but then there were those kisses between them the day after.

How could he not kiss her tonight though, he wondered. How could he resist those pretty eyes which seemed to be begging him to give in? How could he walk away from this night they had shared and not kiss her? She seemed to sense his debate and she seemed to be making the decision for them by subtly shifting closer, her hand moving against his chest once more before settling at his shoulder, her perfume filling his senses.

'Just once,' Johanna thought, just one kiss to end the night. Just one touch of that magic that always seemed to spring up and crackle between them. She shouldn't want it as badly as she did, but the feeling was there, that need to feel like she really was something special to him. She needed these little moments between them; these little secrets they kept and never spoke of. Those little 'secrets' kept her sane in the midst of everyone's matchmaking attempts. They kept her heart warm when she felt like she was being labeled as the spinster sister of the McKenzie family. She just wanted a small Cinderella moment of being kissed before the clock struck and the spell was broken. "Just once," she silently pleaded.

He just couldn't resist her sometimes, he told himself, and he figured that was a good enough excuse for putting a foot across that line again; but he could show restraint…or so he thought. Their kiss was only supposed to be a chaste peck of his lips against hers to signal the end of their night but his best intentions deserted him when he felt her arms slipping around him.

Desire coiled within both of them and he claimed her mouth in a more passionate kiss that was reminiscent of the night they had run into each other after her break up with Brad. The words he had said to Charles echoed through his mind as they continued to indulge in those intoxicating kisses that seemed to push the boundaries.

'When she's with me, she's mine,' he had declared, and as they broke apart for a moment of air before dipping their toes back into the fire, he realized that those words had been true. When they were alone together, he felt as though she was his…and that he was hers. It would've been a more startling thought if he hadn't been so wrapped up in her and feeling those stirrings he had felt the last time passion had ruled them. He recalled that spot on her neck that he had discovered that night and the desire he had been fighting to find it again ever since she had issued her challenge about it not happening again.

He figured that her thoughts had to be thoroughly distracted by now and he broke away from her lips and dipped his head; giving in to the urge to seek out that sensitive area. He found it and she melted despite the willpower she had tried to hold on to when she realized what he was going to do. He lingered there, driving her crazy, making her wish for things she really shouldn't be wishing for and then she recalled what had happened the last time he had spent too much time in that area.

Her fingers tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. "Don't leave a mark," she demanded; a slight hitch detectable in her breath.

Jim chuckled, abandoning his task. "Would I do that?" he asked as he raised his head to look at her.

"You have before," Johanna remarked.

"I think you liked it," he replied smugly.

"That's beside the point," she answered and when he grinned she could've kicked herself for uttering that phrase.

"So you admit it?"

"Again, that's not the point," she answered; feeling the heat rise in her cheeks once again. "The point is that my mother is in there," she said as she gestured towards the door of her apartment.

"I know. That's all the more reason to do it; she'll think you have something going on and she'll let you alone. I'm doing you a favor, sweetheart," he teased.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Oh you think coming home with a hickey would get her to drop the marriage talk?"

He nodded. "She'll think you're in a relationship."

"And thinking that will put her on ring watch."

A mischievous grin spread across his face. "Well tell her that's what the hickey is for; I didn't have a ring so I just marked you myself."

"Jim!" she admonished with a laugh as she smacked his arm with her purse.

He laughed; keeping an arm around her waist. "I'm just trying to help you out."

"That's not the way to do it. You'll just get me into more trouble."

"Do you think she waited up for you? It's morning, so I figure I've probably gotten you home past curfew. I'd hate for you to be grounded, she might not let you come out and play with me anymore or something."

Johanna smirked at him. "Is your mother ashamed of you?"

"Every once in awhile," Jim quipped. "But you still haven't answered the question."

"She better not have waited up," Johanna replied. "She'll want details as soon as I walk through the door."

"Make me sound good. I don't want to lose any of my points on her score card, you never know when you might need me to do you a favor."

She grinned. "What, are you volunteering to pose as my fiancé for the next holiday meal?"

"It depends," he replied. "What do you think she'll be serving and is she a good cook?"

Johanna laughed and gave him a playful shove. "Get the hell out of here."

"What? Those were viable questions," he chuckled as he pulled her back into his arms to embrace her.

She returned his embrace and then kissed his cheek before pulling away. "Thanks for that too," she told him.

He looked at her in confusion. "For what?"

"Making me laugh about having a marriage minded mother dogging my heels," she answered sincerely; "Because to tell you the truth, it can be a little depressing at times."

"Anything for you, Jo," he answered; before brushing his lips against her cheek. "I'll let you know what time I'll pick you up on your birthday."

She nodded. "I'm looking forward to it."

He gave in to the urge to press one more kiss against her lips and then backed away; waiting for her to fish out her keys and unlock her door before he said goodnight and walked away.

---

The apartment was quiet when she entered and she soundlessly placed her keys on the stand along with her purse before retreating to her bedroom, hoping that she could change without waking her mother.

"Are you just getting in?" Naomi asked as she turned towards the doorway of the bedroom while pulling on her robe.

"Yes," Johanna answered; stepping out of her shoes once she had moved into the room. "I thought that you'd still be asleep. Dad's away, there's no reason for you to be up at the crack of dawn."

"Old habit," Naomi said as she brushed Johanna's hands away from the zipper of her gown and unzipped it herself. "I've been getting up early for years to send your father off to work and then to get you kids ready for school; it's just a part of me now."

"That makes sense," her daughter answered as she dropped her nightgown over her head and then took off her jewelry.

"Did you have a nice time?"

She smiled. "Yes, I had a wonderful time."

Her mother beamed in approval. "I'm so glad to hear that, why don't you come into the kitchen and tell me all about it."

Johanna pulled on her robe, knowing that her mother wouldn't rest until she knew how the ballroom had been decorated and what was served, and most importantly, how her 'date' was. She followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, telling her all the little details she enjoyed knowing about parties, while watching her move around the kitchen with ease. Her mother always seemed to have a way of taking over any kitchen whose threshold she crossed, not that Johanna minded. She enjoyed being spoiled with her mother's cooking. They chattered on as the coffee brewed and then finally Naomi looked at her from across the table and Johanna knew that she was now entering a conversation that she probably didn't want to have.

"Jim's a nice young man," Naomi stated.

Here it comes, Johanna thought as she smiled indulgently. "Yes, he is. See, I told you I knew nice, young men."

"Perhaps you…"

"We're just friends, Mom," she stated, cutting her off before she could even finish forming the thought she was about to speak.

"I know that, but there's no reason why you couldn't have more with him. I believe friendship is a good foundation for a lasting relationship."

"Mother…you know how much I hate these discussions; and you said there wouldn't be any while you were staying with me."

"And you know how much I detest being called Mother," Naomi replied. "We had that discussion just last week, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did and my answer remains the same; I know how much you hate it…that's probably why I do it when you do things that I hate."

"Watch yourself bambina," her mother remarked, a gentle hint of warning in her tone.

"I'm not a baby," Johanna stated; a part of herself bristling at the sound of her mother's nickname for her, while the other part of her warmed at memories it provoked. She of course pushed those thoughts away.

"Mi bambina," Naomi said as her daughter rolled her eyes.

"I know I'm your baby," she told her. "But I'm a big girl now."

"Yes, I know; you've only been telling me that since you were s and decided that you could pick out your own clothes without my help."

Johanna looked at her. "Is this a guilt trip, because if it is, you should feel better since I let you help me pick out a dress for last night."

"No, this isn't a guilt trip. I'm just saying that he's a nice young man…and it's obvious that you care a great deal for him."

"Of course I do, he's my friend. I care about all of my friends."

Naomi shook her head. "Friendship isn't in your eyes when you look at him."

"I should go to bed for a little while," Johanna remarked as she took a sip of coffee. "I have been up all night."

"Sit down," Naomi said as she began to rise from the table. "You've been up this long, you can wait awhile longer; besides, you don't look the least bit tired, mi cara."

Johanna sank back down into her chair, resigning herself to the conversation. It would do no good to try and flee, her mother would just follow and if there was one thing she knew about Naomi McKenzie it was that if she had something she wanted to say, she was going to say it whether you wanted to hear it or not.

"Some mother you are," she teased in a vain attempt to distract her from the topic.

"Don't change the subject," Naomi replied. "You have feelings for him."

"Who said that?" Johanna asked. "I know I didn't."

"Oh but you did," her mother replied, a smile slipping across her face. "When you told me about him last night while you were getting ready. Once you relaxed and allowed your true opinions to flow, it was very obvious that your feelings run deeper than friendship."

"Mom, don't take this the wrong way; but I think you're so fixated on wanting to marry me off that you just read into things more than you should. Jim is my friend; and yes I care about him, that's all it is."

"It's not," Naomi insisted. "There's love in your eyes."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I should take you to see about glasses."

"He looks at you the same way," Naomi went on, disregarding her daughter's comment.

Johanna shook her head. "No he doesn't."

"He does," she said; her smile returning. "I saw the two of you together last night…there was a great connection between the two of you…a romantic connection," she stated; seeing her daughter open her mouth to make an excuse for it. "The way you look at each other, like you're the only two people in the world…that is love, Bambina, and it is beautiful."

"Mom, don't do this, okay?"

"Do what? Don't tell you that there is a man who cares about you right under your nose? Tell you not to pursue a relationship that is already meaningful to you?"

"Maybe I don't want to ruin what I already have for something that has no guarantee of lasting."

"Nothing in life is guaranteed, Johanna; you weren't guaranteed to be successful at law school, but you obtained your degree and have the career you wanted because you took the chance, you put in the effort."

"That's different."

Her mother nodded. "Yes, it is different in some ways, but you can't control your heart and what it desires the way you seem to be able to control your mind."

She glanced at her. "That can't be true. Dad controls his heart."

Naomi sighed. "I can assure you that your father doesn't have the control over his heart that he thinks he does. If that were the case, I wouldn't have been able to wheedle my way into it; and I know where you're going with this line of thinking and I know that you don't believe me, Johanna, but your father loves you very much."

"Right," she scoffed.

"He does," she insisted; "But this isn't about your father, although I will say that perhaps the two of you wouldn't clash so much if you weren't so much a like in some respects."

Her temper flared. "I am not like him!"

Naomi smiled. "You just proved yourself wrong, but it's alright; so you're a little temperamental like your father, that's all a part of your charm. I'm sure your young man finds that endearing and exciting about you."

"He is not my young man."

"He should be."

"Mother," she warned.

"Did he kiss you goodnight?"

Johanna smirked. "It's morning."

Her mother shrugged. "Alright, did he kiss you good morning?"

"Some girls don't kiss and tell."

"But I'm your mother," Naomi said. "If you can't tell me, who can you tell?"

"Plenty of people."

"Oh come now, I know you've left some things out in your recitation of the evening, and the look that was on your face when you came in told a story that your words haven't."

"Well then you already know everything you need to know," Johanna quipped. "So let's change the subject."

"Why are you so against this?"

"I am not against anything," Johanna exclaimed. "Why do you have it in your head that I have to be in a relationship or I'm worthless?"

"I have never said you're worthless, Johanna Elizabeth!" Naomi said sternly. "And how dare you imply otherwise. You are far from worthless, the first time I looked at you; I thought you were as precious as the brightest star in the sky."

"Now who's temperamental?" Johanna asked.

"The only thing you can accuse me of is loving you," her mother went on. "I love you so very much, is that a crime?"

"No, but…"

"Voglio solo che tu sia felice." (I just want you to be happy)

Johanna sighed; her mother always lapsed into the Italian she had been taught by her grandmother when she wanted to lay it on thick. "No parlano Italiano, Mama," she returned, a hint of a whine in her voice.

"Voglio solo che tu sia felice," Naomi repeated; her gaze locked upon her daughter.

"Si, lo so," Johanna replied as she nodded her head; she was well aware of the fact that her mother wanted her to be happy.

"Sei cosi speciale, bella e intelligente." (You're so special, beautiful and intelligent.)

"Mama…," Johanna said; her words trailing off; feeling like she couldn't express herself in Italian as well as her mother could.

"Voglio solo di trovare qualcuno che tu amera." (I just want you to find someone who will love you).

"I want that too," Johanna replied; giving up on trying to translate her thoughts.

"Ti amo, Bambina." (I love you, baby).

Tears stung her eyes, and she wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't as if her mother never told her that she loved her, she told her all the time…but there was something about the way she said it in another language that always jerked at her heart.

"Ti amo troppo, Mama," she replied; her voice a whisper.

"Then follow your heart," Naomi said as she switched back into English. "If you care for him they way you seem to then don't deny yourself out of fear. It might not work out…but then again, it might work and last forever."

Johanna had the urge to smack her head off the table but she refrained. "If I tell you that he kissed me, will you let me alone?"

Naomi smiled brightly and Johanna could've kicked herself for uttering those words.

"He kissed you! That's wonderful, darling. You see, I told you that there was something there. I could tell that he was smitten with you."

"Don't go getting carried away," her daughter replied. "It doesn't change anything."

"Of course it does," Naomi remarked. "He's kissed you now, that's your hint that he wants more than friendship."

"Who said this was the first time?"

Her mother's gaze shot back to her face and she pointed a finger at her. "I knew you've been holding out on me."

Johanna laughed. "Well technically it's no one's business."

"I am your mother, almost everything is my business. Now just how many times has this happened?"

She shrugged. "A few."

"And yet you're still doing this 'we're just friends' dance?"

"It's not like I'm doing this dance alone," she replied.

"Kids," Naomi muttered as she picked up her mug and took a sip.

"You're wishing that was wine, aren't you?" Johanna teased.

"Hush," her mother told her. "You know it's far too early for wine. If he's afraid to make the move then you're going to have to do it."

"Me!" Johanna exclaimed. "I thought you always told me that it was the man's job to make the move."

"Times are different now," Naomi replied; "And you're a modern woman; some of my teachings may have been old fashioned…if you want him, then you should put forth the effort to have him."

"But what if…"

"Life is full of what if's, Johanna; but I assure you it never delivers something we can't handle. Don't let this opportunity get away."

"Mama," she sighed; feeling free to indulge in her preferred name for her mother since her father wasn't in the picture.

"What is it? What holds you back, besides fear?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"I think you do."

"How do I know for sure?"

"How do you know what, for sure?"

She couldn't believe that she was actually delving into this discussion. "How do I know if it's…something more," she said; not yet ready to title her feelings with the word 'love' as she wasn't sure things were at that point yet. "How do I know if it's something deeper than just attraction?"

Naomi smiled and reached for her hand. "Attraction is merely being drawn to someone."

"But I am drawn to him," she admitted.

"Yes, I can see that; but there has to be something more than just being drawn…the difference lies in what holds you there; in what keeps you going back besides that spark."

"Like what?" Johanna asked in desperation; feeling like she might be in trouble here.

"How he makes you feel, and not just in the romantic sense; but in every other way. If you can't wait to see him…if you think about him all the time. If there's a connection that goes beyond just great chemistry; an understanding that doesn't always have to be spoken. It's about all of those little things that you feel; those little things that you probably brush aside while telling yourself that it's nothing, that's its better off not thought about."

Damn, Johanna thought, nothing got by her mother, she knew how her brain worked even when she wasn't present to read her thoughts, expressions or tone of voice. This could be dangerous thinking; and she wasn't sure that she should really be thinking so much about it…was it possible that making herself think it would somehow make it so and that she'd then be unable to control herself? Would she then make a fool of herself and ruin everything? She didn't know if she was ready to take that risk.

"You're doing it now," Naomi stated.

Johanna couldn't help but smile as she shook her head. "I should go to bed."

Her mother smiled warmly. "You can't outrun your heart forever, Bambina. One day it's going to sneak up on you and slap you in the face…I just hope it isn't too late by then."

"I'm not the only person in this…friendship who isn't making the effort to make a change," she replied.

"One of you has to take the initiative," Naomi remarked. "It may as well be you."

"I don't know, Mama."

"I like him," her mother said. "He's very kind, just as you said, and it's easy to see that he's very fond of you. You look nice together…like you belong that way."

"Don't go planning a wedding," Johanna replied.

"Alright, darling," her mother said, knowing it was time to back down. "You just think about it…but not for too long."

"I'll do that," she said; her standard response which really translated into 'not really', as she rose from the table. "I'm going to try and sleep for a few hours and then we'll go out and find something to do."

Naomi smiled, she knew a dodge when she saw and heard one. "Alright," she told her and when she was half way across the threshold of the kitchen she added, "But you're still like your Daddy."

"It's not nice to insult your hostess," Johanna replied.

"It's not an insult if it's true," she laughed.

Johanna turned back to her. "Well in that case, you won't mind me telling you that you're starting to sound like Grandma."

Naomi narrowed her eyes playfully. "Bite your tongue, missy."

"Goodnight," she laughed.

"Technically, it's morning," her mother stated, throwing her words back at her.

Johanna paused, her head dropping. "Why do I tell you anything?"

"Because you love me."

"You're lucky I do or you'd be in trouble," she told her.

Naomi moved towards her and wrapped her in her embrace. "I am so very lucky that God gave me you when I wished for a little girl…and I hope that one day he'll bless you with a little girl as retaliation for the grief you cause me when you don't listen to me."

"Thanks, Mama," she said somewhat sarcastically as she squeezed her in return. "Now I have something to look forward to."

"You deserve it," her mother laughed as she released her and allowed her to resume her trek towards her bedroom.

Johanna shut the bedroom door behind her and crawled into her bed which was still unmade. She shifted around until she was comfortable and then she allowed herself to think of the things her mother had said. Maybe her feelings did run deeper than she allowed herself to admit; maybe she was in danger of losing her heart, a thought she had entertained not long ago…maybe it was too late. Maybe her heart was already lost. She couldn't deny the attraction, or the longing she sometimes felt to be…more; but that didn't mean that she was ready to make a move without assurance that she wouldn't be rejected. The memory of their goodbye that morning filtered through her mind, what if all he wanted was what they already had? She'd rather have something than nothing. She shook her thoughts away; she didn't want to think too much about the status of their relationship, she was content with what they were at the moment, and now she had a birthday dinner with him to look forward to. She smiled as she burrowed into her pillow, her eyes closing as her mind settled on more pleasant thoughts…pleasant thoughts that of course centered on her favorite colleague, but it wasn't the first time she had fallen asleep with Jim on her mind.