Reflections

by evitascarlett

A companion piece to 'Apologize'. Chronicling the lives and love story of Jim and Johanna Beckett through the years. See Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter One for more details! Cover art by LordofKavaka

11. Chapter 11 - Matters of the Heart-Part 1

A/N: Thanks for your reviews! Jim's family is introduced in this chapter.

Chapter 11- Matters of the Heart – Part 1

Jim tossed a file aside and reached for another amidst the hodgepodge of documents, files, notepads, and law books that littered in his table and had spilled over to the counter tops. "Jeff, did you get those reports we needed?" he asked.

"Yeah they're here somewhere," his friend replied.

"I tried to keep things organized," Johanna spoke up; "But the two of you just insist on throwing things around."

"Sorry, Mom," Jeff quipped. "Will you give us another chance or are you going to go ahead and take our allowances to teach us a lesson?"

She smirked as she picked up a file and smacked him in the head with it. "I haven't decided yet, I'll let you know."

"Jim, are you going to let her abuse me in your home?"

"Only if she feels it's necessary."

"And chances are I will," Johanna replied as she rummaged in her briefcase and pulled out a folder. "Here's the interview with Hodges."

"You talked to him?" Jim asked as he accepted it.

She looked at him incredulously. "No; that seemed too much like work so Sharon and I sat down and made all of that up ourselves," she remarked; her tone carrying the note of sarcasm.

Jeff chuckled as a smile tugged at Jim's lips. "I'm sorry, that was a dumb question."

"I'll over look it this time," she replied; "But just for the record, I did everything that was delegated to me."

"I don't doubt that," Jim answered; "But this is a big case, there's a lot at stake here."

"We figured that out when it became a three person job," Jeff commented. "Don't be uptight."

"I can be uptight if I want. This case has my name on it."

"It has our names on it too," the other man replied. "Just because you're first chair on this thing doesn't mean that Jo and I are the peasants."

Johanna laughed. "Let's face it, Jeff; Jim's the star and we're the set dressing."

He nodded. "You're right but I prefer to think of it as he's the brains and we're the sex appeal."

"Alright," Jim said; "That's enough. I'll try to do better."

"See that you do or I'll hold you down and let Sassy beat you up."

Jim grinned as his gaze shifted towards his pretty colleague who was currently sipping her soda. "You'd probably enjoy that, would you?"

She shrugged. "It could be fun."

Before he could respond, someone knocked at the door and he left the table to answer it.

"Dad," he said; his voicing carrying to his friends as he identified his visitor. Johanna's interest was instantly piqued. She had yet to meet any of his family, perhaps today they would even up the score a little; after all, he had already met her mother and sister.

"Are you busy, Jimmy?" Robert Beckett asked as he stepped into the apartment.

"Just working on a case," his son answered.

"Will I be in the way?"

"Not at all, Dad; come on in."

Robert followed Jim back to the kitchen and the older man smiled as his gaze found Jeff. "Jeffery; have you been behaving yourself?" he asked with fondness.

"Hell no; what's the fun in that," Jeff replied. "What are you doing, Rob? Did you run away from home again?"

He chuckled. "You could say that."

"What is it this time?" Jim asked in amusement. It wasn't unusual for his father to feel the need to escape from home.

"Oh you know how your mother is; she gets to nagging and being…well being a little too much of herself and sometimes I just have to go away so she'll remember to appreciate me."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," Johanna remarked.

"And who is this?" Robert asked; his smile warm as his twinkling blue eyes landed upon Johanna.

"That's Sassy," Jeff quipped before Jim form a response.

Robert smiled. "That's a cute name but I doubt it's the one her mother gave her."

"Her name is Johanna McKenzie," Jim stated just as Johanna was about to tell him herself.

Robert's eyes lit up with recognition of the name. "Johanna," he said; reaching for her hand. "It's so nice to finally have a face to put with the name; a very pretty face, I might add."

Jim couldn't help but smile at the slight blush that colored her cheeks despite the slight sense of nervousness he felt over the fact that his father had recognized her name.

"Thank you," Johanna replied. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Beckett."

The older man smiled. "You can just call me Robert; I get enough formality at work. I am glad to finally meet you; Jimmy talks about you all the time."

"Does he?" Johanna asked innocently as she shot an amused glance at Jim.

"Oh he does," Jeff remarked. "Trust me, I know."

She swallowed back a laugh but a smile remained on her lips as she regarded Jim. He looked like he was contemplating his chances of fleeing and it amused her to no end. It was nice to see someone else squirm for a change.

"Don't pay any attention to them; they exaggerate," Jim told her.

"I suppose I should ask if it's good things he's saying before I decide if I should be flattered or not," Johanna remarked mischievously.

"Nothing but good things, my dear," Robert assured.

"Yeah, Sassy; Jim hasn't found a single thing about you that he doesn't like."

"Shut up, Jeff."

Robert chuckled as he took the seat Jim had vacated. "Do these two scoundrels give you trouble?" he asked Johanna; his tone teasing and laced with fondness.

"Every once in awhile, but usually I can handle them."

"Well if they ever get out of hand, you let me know and I'll haul them out to my garage for a good old fashioned talking to that they won't forget."

Johanna laughed. "I'd like to see that."

"Why do I have a feeling that there wouldn't be any talking going on at all during that visit to the garage?" Jeff asked.

"Because you're a smart boy, Jeffery."

Jim scoffed at the remark and his friend favored him with a look of mock indignation. "Don't act like my supreme intelligence is a news flash to you."

"You wish you had supreme intelligence," Jim laughed.

"That's it, you leave me no choice," Jeff said with a chuckle. "Sassy, who's the smartest one here?"

"That's easy," she quipped without missing a beat; "I am."

Jeff caught Jim's eye as Robert's laughter filled the air. "I don't think we can dispute that and live to tell about it."

Jim nodded. "You're probably right; and besides, it's probably true."

Jeff bobbed his head in agreement. "We'll give you that one, Sassy. Just don't gloat about it too much."

"I'll try to control myself," she replied.

"Would I be correct in assuming that these two are the ones who dubbed you Sassy?" Robert asked.

"That's right," she answered; "It came about the first week we all met."

The elder Beckett was intrigued by the young lady that his son spoke of so often; and the fact that the boy seemed to be watching him closely as if he feared what he might say to her, made it all the more fun for him. "So, Johanna; tell me all about yourself."

She smiled. "What do you want to know?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Can you cook?"

She nodded. "I love to cook."

"She's very good at it," Jim stated without thinking. "She makes great fried chicken."

Warmth spread through her at the mention of their shared Sunday dinner the week before. It had gone very well; she thought; especially if that kiss goodnight had been any indication.

"Wait a minute," Jeff said. "You cooked dinner for Jim and I didn't get invited?"

"Sorry."

"No you're not," he teased; "And I can't believe I'm just hearing about this little dinner party of yours."

"I don't have to tell you everything," Jim said. "You're not my mother."

"He didn't tell her either," Robert stated.

"I think they're holding out on us," Jeff stated as he caught Robert's eye.

"It's possible," the man agreed. "Was the chicken better than your mother's?"

"Isn't everybody's?" Jim asked.

His father laughed. "Well that's true; Lizzie never could master that one. So you can cook; what else? Do you like kids?"

"I love babies and kids," Johanna replied. "I have a nephew that I enjoy spoiling."

Robert nodded thoughtfully. "I bet a pretty girl like you has a boyfriend; don't you?"

"No; I don't."

"I can't imagine why not," Robert said as he glanced towards his son.

"Neither can my mother," she replied.

"You're smart, you're pretty and you like kids and you can cook; why haven't you snapped her up yet, Jimmy?"

Johanna's eyes sparkled with amusement as she looked to Jim; waiting for his response. She could tell he was considering his words carefully; as he discarded the first flippant remarks that came to his mind. His eyes met hers for a moment and she couldn't help but smirk at him.

"Is Mom rubbing off on you, Dad?" he asked. "That sounds like something she would say."

Robert shook his head. "No; I'm not being like your mother. Your mother wants to select a bride for you that meets her own personal tastes. I was merely pointing out that it seems like you have a good thing right here in front of you."

"Who says she wants to be snapped up?" Jim asked as he desperately searched for a way out of this conversation.

Robert grinned as he glanced at Johanna. "Of course she wants to be snapped up; she's a woman who loves babies and cooking. She has wife material written all over her."

"If I give you my mother's phone number, will you call her and tell her that?" Johanna asked.

Robert smiled and patted her hand. "Let me bring Jimmy around for you first and then we'll call and give her the good news."

She laughed as she looked at Jim and saw him squirming at the idea. "Jimmy," she said; teasing in her voice as she held his gaze; "Let's not keep my mother waiting."

He shot her a playful glare. "I don't think Colleen would appreciate you stealing some of the spotlight from her."

She sighed dramatically. "That's true; I guess we'll have to wait."

A thought came to mind and Robert turned his attention to Johanna once again. "Any chance you're related to Frank McKenzie?"

She tensed slightly but hid it well enough that only Jim was able to detect effect the question had on her. "He's my father," she answered; her gaze casually shifting back to the paperwork in front of her.

"I met him once," Robert stated.

She conjured up a small smile. "I apologize on behalf of the family."

He gave a light laugh; "Oh no, honey, it wasn't anything like that. I met him at a business conference a few years ago. I mainly know of him through his company."

"You never told me that your father has his own company," Jim commented as he pulled out another chair and sat down.

"You never asked," she replied.

Robert shook his head at his son. "I have a feeling you aren't asking her any of the right questions."

Jim laughed. "Fine; I'm asking now. What kind of company is it?"

"McKenzie-Thorton Industries; dealing in construction and real estate," Johanna answered.

"I've heard of that company," Jeff remarked. "They get a lot of big contracts."

She nodded. "Dad has a talent for wheeling and dealing. Are you in the same business, Robert?"

"No; I'm in banking. I'm the vice president of a bank downtown. A lot of my clients do business with your father's company."

Jeff cast a teasing glance at his colleague. "So does this mean you're an heiress, Sassy?"

Johanna scoffed. "Hardly. He's successful and my parents live comfortably but I'm in no danger of being an heiress. The business will go to my brother."

"How many siblings do you have?" Robert inquired.

"Dad, don't you think you've questioned her enough?"

"Behave, Jimmy," his father replied. "I'm just trying to get to know your friend a little better; for all I know, she could wind up being family one day."

"Dad!"

Johanna laughed as Robert grinned mischievously. "I didn't say you'd be the one to make her family. You might introduce her to Andrew one day and they'd hit it off," he remarked as he turned back to Johanna. "Andrew is a year younger than Jimmy. He's a lot of fun; I bet you'd like him."

"Andrew isn't her type," Jim protested.

There was a knowing gleam in the older man's eye. "You don't think so?"

"No; I don't."

"Well then there's William," Robert stated. "He's three years older than my boy here. Will's stationed overseas but maybe when he comes home on leave, you can meet him."

"William is definitely not her type," Jim remarked.

"Well I can't give her Michael, he's already married...but I guess even if he wasn't, he wouldn't be her type."

"That's right."

Johanna had been holding back giggles the entire time as she watched Robert lightly goad his son.

"You must be picky," Robert said as he caught her eye.

"I think I'm probably going to have to ask Jim just how picky I am since he seems to know all about it," she replied; amusement dancing in her eyes as she glanced at Jim.

"Maybe you should," Robert responded. "I only have one man left to offer you and that's my honorary son, Jeff."

She almost spit her soda across the room as Jeff burst into laughter.

"Jeff isn't her type either," Jim responded as he shot a subtle glare at his best friend.

Jeff held up his hands in surrender. "I appreciate the offer; and the death glare that Jim obviously feels threatened enough to give me; but I'm going to take myself out of the running. You're a beautiful woman, Sassy; and I adore you, but I see you only as a sister. No offense of course."

"None taken," she laughed. "I only love you as a brother."

"Well then I'm all out of alternative options for now," Robert commented.

"That's probably for the best," Jeff remarked. "Jim doesn't think any man is her type, except maybe himself but of course he won't admit that. What do you think, Jo? Is Jim your type?"

She could feel the heat spreading across her cheeks. He was her type all right; in every way possible and in every way she never imagined before. "I don't think I'm going to answer that," she stated; her eyes catching his for a moment and seeing the plea in them for her to help him end this conversation. He gave her a barely detectable smile that she returned before he dropped his gaze and picked up a file from the table.

"Let's get back to work," Jim stated. "Dad, make yourself at home."

Robert nodded as he rose from the table and headed for the living room. His boy was smitten; there was no doubt about it.

---

It was after five when Johanna finally slipped into her coat and gathered up her purse and briefcase. "I'll drive you home," Jim stated as he grabbed his keys from the stand.

"You don't have to do that. You should stay here and visit with your Dad; I'll be fine."

"I'll be here when he gets back," Robert remarked from his place on the sofa. "Jimmy, you take her home so we know she got there safely."

"It's really not necessary," Johanna insisted. She would've caught a ride with Jeff but he had left an hour earlier to pick up Maggie from her parents house.

"Nonsense," his father replied. "We don't let young ladies roam the city alone during the evening hours if we can help it."

"Don't fight it; you're not going to win," Jim said as he took her arm and moved towards the door.

She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Robert. "It was nice meeting you."

"You too," he replied. "I hope to see you again soon."

"I won't be long," Jim stated as they stepped outside the door.

"Take your time," his father said; giving him a wink.

Jim smirked at him and closed the door. His father was lucky that he loved him, he mused as his hand fell against the small of Johanna's back; but he supposed the day could've gone worse.

---

Once they were standing in Johanna's apartment, Jim caught her eye and gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about my father."

Puzzlement flicked across her features. "What about him?"

"You know...the marriage teasing and all of that."

Johanna smiled. "Don't worry about it; I wasn't bothered by it."

"You weren't?"

"No; it doesn't seem to bother me coming from your family...besides it was kind of fun to watch it happen to someone else for a change."

"Now that you mention it, you did seem to be enjoying yourself at my expense," Jim said lightly.

"I have to take my opportunities when they present themselves," she quipped. "I liked meeting your father."

"Did you?"

She nodded. "I think he's sweet."

He chuckled. "He's something alright."

"I think you're a lot like him," Johanna remarked.

"Is that good or bad?"

She swatted his arm. "You know it's good...Jimmy."

His eyes sparkled with amusement. "Hey I can play that game too...Josie."

Johanna wrinkled her nose as she tried to suppress a grin. "That's supposed to be our little secret."

"Why is that?"

"Because I don't want people running around calling me Josie."

He eyed her with a mixture of playfulness and seriousness. "Fine; I'll keep your nickname a secret; that will work to my advantage."

Her brow rose. "Oh? How do you figure?"

Jim grinned. "Because now you can't ever be rid of me; I know too much."

Her laughter rang in the air between them; "I hadn't planned on being rid of you."

"That's good because now you can't be or I'll tell the world everything I know about you."

She smirked. "I could tell them a few things about you."

He nodded. "That's why we have to stick together; neither one of us can afford the fallout."

"It's a deal," she said as she stepped towards him and brushed a kiss against his cheek. "Thanks for driving me home."

"Anytime," he replied as he returned the gesture by kissing her cheek and then moved to the door. "I'll talk to you later."

"Goodnight, Jim...try not to make your father beat you before he goes home."

He grinned at her. "I make no promises."

---

"Did you get her home alright?" Robert asked his son as he entered the apartment.

"Yes," Jim answered as he sat down in the chair.

"Did you walk her to the door and make sure she got in safely?"

"Yes."

Robert grinned. "Did you kiss her goodnight?"

Jim smirked at him. "Are you getting nosy in your old age?"

Robert shrugged. "Everyone needs a hobby; but I guess I can assume that you didn't get a kiss since you're going to act surly."

His son laughed. "I'm not being surly and I'm not answering the question."

Silence fell between them for a few minutes until Robert glanced at his son and casually remarked; "She's a nice girl."

"I told you she was."

Another beat of silence followed as the men concentrated on the game highlights being shown by the news on the television.

"I like her."

Jim smiled. "For some unfathomable reason she seems to like you too."

The older man laughed; his blue eyes dancing with merriment. "Why shouldn't she? I am charming and debonair; and it was said once that I had a way with the ladies."

"Does Mom know that?" he laughed.

"Of course she knows; that's why she married me, although she likes to save face by pretending like she doesn't know how lucky she was to catch me."

"She says it's the other way around."

"I know, but you listen to me; my version of the story is the truth."

"It is more entertaining," Jim replied.

"I like her," Robert stated once again.

"I should hope that you like Mom," his son quipped.

"You know that's not what I meant. I like Johanna."

"I like her too but I think Jo's a little young for you, Dad; and I don't think she's the type to run off with a married man."

"You're funny today, Jimmy," his father laughed.

"I get that from my Dad, whoever he may be."

Robert grinned. "Yeah, I wish your mother would fess up and tell me which milkman you belong to; he owes me a lot of money."

Jim laughed. "It's a good thing Mom isn't here; you know how she hates it when you make milkman jokes."

"I don't know why Lizzie can't take it as the good fun it is. I know all of my children belong to me. Just like I know I'd never break your heart by running off with your girl."

"She's not my girl, Dad," he replied; his tone light. He didn't mind his father's good natured ribbing of him when they were alone.

"Well what's the problem?" Robert asked. "It can't be lack of interest."

"What makes you say that?"

"Do you ever look in her eyes?"

"All the time," Jim responded. "She has the most beautiful green eyes."

Robert gave a soft laugh as he forced himself not to comment on the lovesick note in his son's voice. "She does have beautiful eyes but you can also see her interest in you in them...so clearly you're both interested."

"And your point?"

Robert eyed him knowingly. "If you're both interested, why haven't you made her your girl yet?"

He shifted in his seat and gave a slight shrug. "We have a comfortable relationship."

"Jimmy."

He sighed. "Maybe the time just isn't right yet."

His father held his gaze. "If you wait too long you might find that someone else thought the time was right and stole her away."

He didn't want to think about that. He'd rather just stay in the little bubble of contentment that he and Johanna had with one another. The topic needed to be changed. "How long are going to hide out from Mom?"

"Awhile longer. She doesn't miss me yet."

"How do you know?"

"She hasn't called here looking for me yet."

"What if she doesn't call?" Jim asked.

"Then I guess I'll flip a coin and decide if I'm going home or spending the night."

Jim laughed. "You drive her crazy."

"Serves her right," Robert remarked. "She's been driving me crazy since the day I met her."

"But you love her anyway."

"That's right; I do and one day we'll be having this same conversation about your wife."

Jim laughed and pushed away the image of a certain green eyed colleague that popped into his head. He didn't need to be going down that road tonight.

---

Three Weeks Later

Jim scrubbed a hand over his face as the elevator doors opened on his floor. It had been an impossibly long day, he thought; from that hysterical phone call from his mother at three in the morning and the hours upon hours he had spent at the hospital in its wake. He released a weighted breath; he would've never thought it possible that his father would have a heart attack. Robert Beckett had always been the picture of health and he always seemed so…invincible and now the reality was setting in that he wasn't. Seeing his father attached to machines and tubes had been startling and he was sure the image would haunt him for a long time; especially if….Jim shook that thought a way; he didn't want to think like that.

As he approached his door, he took notice of someone sitting in front of it…no; not someone, he amended; the figure in front of his door was most definitely Johanna. The sight of her sent much needed warmth coursing through his body. Jeff must've told her, he figured as his gaze drank in the sight of her. She was dressed casually, her coat and purse laying across her lap as she sat cross legged against the door. She was apparently engrossed in the paperback in her hands as she didn't register his approach and he wondered how long she had been sitting there waiting for him.

"Jo," he said quietly as he stood before her; his foot nudging her black suede boot.

She jumped; startled by his sudden appearance and scrambled to get to her feet as he held out a hand to assist her. "How's your dad?" she asked as he opened the door for them.

"He's still listed in serious condition but they say he's stable now and they're running a lot of tests and…I don't know," Jim said as he took her coat and purse and hung them in the closet. "I just don't really know, Johanna. They throw around all of these complicated medical terms and expect everyone to understand what they mean. I went to law school; I don't know half of what they're talking about," he ranted; "And God forbid if you ask them to explain it in simpler terms."

Johanna could see the frustration on his face was mixed with worry and fear and she stepped forward; wrapping her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

His arms went around her without hesitation; clutching her to him tightly as his eyes closed. He needed this, he thought as he breathed in the scent of strawberries that always seemed to linger on her along with the soft scent of her perfume. If he could just stand there and hold her all night, he might feel a little better.

"How long have you been waiting on me, sweetheart?" he asked quietly.

"Not long."

He smiled slightly as he nuzzled her hair; she was lying. "What page were you on when you started reading?"

"I don't remember."

Another white lie, he thought. He had a feeling she had probably started the book while she waited and when he had arrived, she had been halfway through it. He felt comfortable in assuming that she had gone home from work, changed clothes and headed to his apartment.

"How are you?" Johanna asked as she pulled back from him; leaving him feeling bereft of the feel of her.

"I'm okay," he replied; but as she eyed him, he knew she didn't buy it. "As okay as I can be," he amended.

She gave him a hint of a smile as she studied his face, her fingertips brushing against his jaw for a moment before falling away. "I'll buy that one; but it was a dumb question to ask anyway."

Jim shook his head. "No, it wasn't dumb…just honest."

"Honest?"

"Honest in its concern," he answered.

Johanna nodded in agreement; she was concerned for him. It had been easy to see that he was close to his father but she had gathered that long ago just from the way he spoke of him. She could tell by looking at him just how hard this was on him, and how hard it would continue to be until they knew how things would turn out for his father.

"Have you eaten yet?" she asked.

Jim shook his head. "No; I've been living on coffee all day."

"I'll make you something."

"You don't have to do that, Jo."

"It's not a problem," she assured. "I like to cook."

"I'm not really hungry," he replied; his stomach was tied into too many knots to give much thought to food.

"You need to eat whether you're hungry or not," she insisted. "You won't do anyone any good if you don't take care of yourself. Now go clean up and I'll make you dinner."

He gave her a small smile as he studied the stubborn set of her jaw. "Has anyone ever told you that you're a little bossy?"

"Sharon's hinted at it a time or two but I'm sure she was exaggerating."

"I'm sure she was," he agreed with mock seriousness.

She smirked at him. "Since I'm being accused of bossiness, I may as well live up to it. Now go on and do as I say…unless there's something in your kitchen that you're afraid I'll find…like an empty refrigerator."

"I'll have you know that I bought groceries this week."

Johanna smiled. "Then you have nothing to worry about."

"Alright," Jim said quietly as he stepped towards her and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "The kitchen is yours."

"There wasn't any doubt in my mind," she replied lightly; before turning and heading in the direction of the kitchen.

---

After a long shower and a shave, Jim felt human again as he walked through his apartment, the smell of Johanna's cooking filling the air and making him realize that he was indeed hungry after all.

"Feel better?" she asked as he entered the kitchen.

"A little," he admitted; watching as she sat the plates on the table. She had cooked pork chops, mashed potatoes, and noodles; making him wonder just how long he had stood in the shower with his mind a million miles away. "That looks good."

"Keep in mind that I'll be highly offended if you don't eat at least half of it," she replied as he took his seat. "You wouldn't want that, would you?"

"No; I've seen you highly offended before…it didn't look like fun."

"Then I guess we have an understanding," Johanna replied as she sat down across from him. She did her best to keep him talking as they ate; figuring if his mind was focused, he'd eat more instead of dwelling but even as she kept things light, she slipped in the more serious questions about what had happened, and how his mother was handling things.

"Will you be going back tonight?" she asked as he scrapped up the last bite of his meal.

"No; Mom and Madelyn are spending the night but if they need me or something changes, they'll call me."

"Where are your brothers?"

"William is stationed in Germany; I don't know if they'll let him come home or not or if he's even gotten the message yet. Michael is at the hospital now but he won't be able to stay because he'll have to take care of business for Dad, along with his own. Andrew is in Colorado; I think I told you that he travels around scouting properties that can be turned into resorts and luxury hotels. He was checking out ski lodges and is now stuck in a blizzard."

"So basically, a lot of this is going to fall squarely on your shoulders," Johanna said; reading between the lines.

Jim nodded. "Yeah, it will…me and Madelyn. She works in a boutique uptown that a family friend owns so it won't be any trouble for her to have time off, so she'll probably have to deal with Mom for the most part and I'll get the rest because Mom wants my input on everything…I don't really know what good it is though, I'm not a doctor."

"It doesn't matter; she places her trust and faith in you…maybe she thinks you handle things the way your father does and that comforts her."

"I guess I didn't think about it like that. I'll have to have Sally rearrange my schedule and push back things that can wait and figure out a way to juggle the rest for the time being."

"I'll help you," she told him as she covered his hand with her own. "If there's something that needs done that you can't take care of, I'll work it into my schedule or I'm sure Jeff will if I can't. We'll figure things out."

He turned his hand to grasp hers as he gave her a grateful smile. "I'm glad you're here."

Johanna held his gaze. "I'll be here anytime you need me…I promise you that."

---

A short time later, Johanna washed the dishes while Jim talked on the phone to his younger brother, trying to assure him that no one held it against him for being stuck in a blizzard and unable to get home. She worked slowly, trying to give him time to finish his call while she cleaned up. She seemed to time it just right as she heard him saying goodbye just as she ran out of tasks to give herself. She ventured back into the living room and found him pacing the floor.

He caught sight of her and paused. "A few more rings of the phone and I'll probably have a heart attack of my own."

Johanna went towards him once again, her arms going around him without any thought but comforting him. His hold felt even tighter than before and she knew that the ring of the phone had panicked him and put him more on edge.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked softly, wanting nothing more than to be able to help or be there for him in some way.

"Stay," he said quietly, the word slipping from his lips before he could even form a thought that would convince him not to ask. He felt somewhat foolish for having the need to want someone there with him. He was a grown man, he could handle what life dealt…but there was that part of him that felt like maybe he could handle it better if Johanna was nearby. His friend was comforting, she was soothing. She was able to keep him calm and give him some semblance of normalcy at a moment when the world felt turned on its side. He needed her…and just this once, he would allow himself to admit that without shame. "Stay with me."

"Alright," she replied without hesitation. "Anything else?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Keep talking, Jo. I don't care what it is that you talk about, just keep talking. I just want to hear your voice," he said, thinking that maybe if he concentrated on her voice that maybe it would ease his mind some and keep him from feeling so on edge, just as it had during dinner.

She pulled back from him a bit and offered him a small smile. "You might regret that request," she said lightly. "I've been told that I can be annoying after awhile."

"Whoever said that was a liar," Jim stated as he took her hand and tugged her towards the sofa. "I like hearing you talk."

"Okay," she replied as she settled down next to him; "But if I hear any complaints, I'm slapping you."

He smiled. "There won't be any need for violence. I promise."

She nodded and covered his hand with hers as it rested on his leg. "My case finished up early, today. They decided to make a settlement."

"Oh, yeah? Did you scare the hell out of them when you had them on the stand?"

A sly grin slid across her lips. "I like to think so."

"I'm sure you did," he replied. "You can be fierce when it suits you and I'm sure it's not a coincidence that they've decided to settle when you've just started presenting your case...and poking holes into theirs."

She beamed with pride and he gave her hand a squeeze. "It's kind of a shame though. I still had a few more cards up my sleeve."

"Save them for the next one, Sassy," he replied with a light smile that spoke of affection for her.

She laughed softly, "You better be careful, Jeff might try to get you for copyright infringement on that nickname," she teased, knowing full well that both men had been throwing that name around in regards to her since day one.

"I'm allowed to use that nickname," Jim defended. "I agreed that it suited you and besides I'm not afraid of him; and even if he did try to get me for copyright infringement, you'll defend me."

"Oh I will? What makes you think that? Maybe Jeff will want me to defend him."

Jim shook his head. "You wouldn't do that, you like me better than him."

She laughed. "I thought I liked you both equally."

There was another shake of his head. "No, I'm sure that you like me best…and you know it too so don't deny it."

She grinned. "Alright, the secret's out; I like you best, but don't tell him. I think he's under the impression that he might be my favorite and I wouldn't want to crush his fragile spirit."

"Okay," Jim said, "It'll be our little secret...although it will be hard for me not to tell him that you said he has a fragile spirit."

"I'm sure that will cause you great pain, but we'll just classify that info under attorney client privilege and that should make it easier on you."

He nodded, giving her that light smile once again and she continued on. She talked about her other cases, about the gossip that Sharon had picked up and shared with her. She spoke of having lunch with Jeff as he and Maggie were once again on the outs and Jim shook his head in response before urging her to go on.

She passed on the news that his adversary, Charles Patterson, had botched a case and had gotten a chewing out from the bigwigs on the top floor. That tidbit garnered a wide smile and the statement that he was sorry that he had missed that. She continued on, telling him everything about work that she could think of and from time to time she could tell that his thoughts were elsewhere but she kept talking, just as he had asked her to do.

Eventually, she ran out of things to say about work and she fell quiet as she wracked her brain for a new topic.

"I'm listening, Jo," Jim said quietly, taking her silence to mean that she had caught his mind wandering.

"I know. I'm just trying to think of a new line of conversation."

Any topic was fine with him as long as it kept him from thinking the worst in regards to his father but he figured he'd help her out. "How's Colleen?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I've made up my mind. "I'm going to beat the hell out of her."

Jim chuckled quietly. "I take it she's still wrapped up in her wedding plans?"

"Yes; and now she's gone too far."

"What has she done?"

"She picked out the most hideous bridesmaid dress I've ever seen in my life and she was delusional enough to think that I'd actually wear it."

"What did it look like?" he inquired.

"Oh my God," Johanna said. "It was bright yellow and loaded with lace and a poufy skirt that could've been straight out of Gone With The Wind. She thinks it's fabulous, and apparently, as Maid of Honor, I'm supposed to think so as well, but I don't, and we had a fight."

"What happened?"

"Well for starters, I told her that it was ugly," Johanna remarked; "Because that's the truth and she needs to be made aware of it."

He gave a short laugh, the scene already taking shape in his mind. "What did she say to that?"

"She said that it was beautiful, and I asked her what had happened to her taste because she used to have some…although not a lot."

"Oh God," Jim laughed.

"That, of course, didn't make her happy but it got worse," she said. "Then we argued about the color. She's getting married in May and she wants everything to be springy, which is all well and good except for the fact that I will not look good in bright yellow. Colleen argued that yellow is a great color. I agreed, yellow is lovely...for canaries and the sun, and maybe even as a paint choice for a kitchen or bedroom, or even a car, but it does not look right on me. I might have been able to deal with a pale yellow, but not this Big Bird yellow she's trying to push."

"I take it that she's probably highly insulted by this point," he said in response.

"Mildly peeved, but she still thought that she had a chance to convince me to wear the damn thing."

"And she was wrong?"

"She was so wrong," she replied. "I told her that hell would freeze over before I walked down the aisle at her wedding looking like some kind of freak who had escaped from some Civil War era version of Sesame Street."

Jim couldn't control the laughter that escaped his lips. Johanna went on, her argument with her sister still needling her and she was glad to have an outlet for it.

"She seems to be under the impression that being a bride means she can boss people around and demand they do what she wants…and apparently she had forgotten who she was dealing with when she put her hand on her hip and gave me a haughty look and told me that I would wear what she picked and that was all there was to it."

"Is there bloodshed in this story?" Jim asked; "Because I'm sensing that there could be."

"No, but I did briefly debate it. I looked Miss Colleen in the eye and told her that the only person who would be wearing that God awful monstrosity would be her, because I was going to wrap the damn thing around her neck."

Another burst of laughter came from her friend. "I then told her that if she insisted upon that dress then she would have to find herself another Maid of Honor because it wasn't going to happen. So she got mad and she went pouting to Mom."

"How did that go?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "It went something like this; 'Johanna, dear; this is your sister's wedding and she has given you the honor of standing up there with her and you should wear what she wants. When you have your own wedding, then you can pick what everyone wears."

"That must've stung a little," he replied.

She shook her head. "I was too aggravated by that point to be hurt. I just turned around and said that Colleen was free to bestow that 'honor' on someone else if she saw fit and that I had the right to veto anything that hideous. My father showed up at that point and agreed with me…which goes to show how bad it was. So Colleen and I are not loving sisters at the moment. We had an even bigger fight when we got back to Mom's. I've had it with her."

"I don't blame you for feeling that way," Jim said. "She sounds like she needs taken down a peg."

"She needs more than that," Johanna replied. "I just can't believe the way she's been acting and the way she's been treating me, especially after everything I've done for her. When Frankie was ripping her hair out when she was little, I'd jump in and try to beat him up for her. I never told on her for breaking Mom's favorite vase, even though I got punished for it. I didn't rat her out for sneaking out and when she was in tenth grade and came crying to me that she was going to fail English if I didn't help her, I wrote her damn paper about Betsy Ross; which she got an A for by the way. When we were kids, I was always the one who had to understand that she was 'just a baby' or 'just a little girl' and if there was only one cookie left, I always ended up giving it to her because she always had a bad day at school and needed it; and this is the thanks I get! I had bad days too you know; sometimes I needed that damn cookie!"

He was laughing, and somewhere in his mind he felt like it was probably wrong to be doing so when his father was lying in a hospital but he couldn't help it. He had gotten her started and she had unleashed something that she clearly needed to let out. A blush spread across her cheeks as she realized that she had gotten carried away.

"I'm sorry, Jim; you probably didn't want to hear all of that," she said sheepishly.

"Actually; it was just what I needed…and apparently so do you…along with a cookie," he laughed.

Johanna smiled. "Do you want me to go on?"

He nodded. "Please."

Figuring she had said more than enough about Colleen, she switched topics and continued on her quest to keep distracted as he had asked.

---

Jim jerked awake for what he was sure was the hundredth time that night; his ears straining for the ring of the phone but he heard nothing with the exception of the low volume of the television. He released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and then he angled his head to catch a glimpse of Johanna who was nestled beside him, her head on his chest and her sleeping face cast a glow in the blue light from the TV screen. He still wasn't quite sure how they had ended up like this, curled up together on his sofa, really it didn't matter because he didn't care about the how. He was just glad that she was there; soft and warm nestled between him and the back of the couch. It didn't escape his notice that she fit there perfectly, and she hadn't said a word when his fingers had taken on a mind of their own and sank into her hair once her head had settled upon his chest.

Jim had a feeling that he had lulled her to sleep with the motion of his hand moving over her head, his fingers threading through her dark, silky locks. Her stream of chatter had started dropping off at that point; and eventually it had stopped completely as she snuggled against him, her hand fisting in the material of his shirt. His heart had given a kick in those first moments when he had realized that she was asleep...a kick that he figured was better left ignored or overlooked. He ran a hand over his face; the night felt endless and he had never been able to sleep well on a couch. He wondered briefly if he could get away with picking Johanna up and carrying her to his bed but he cast aside that notion, figuring it to be too presumptuous. He could, of course, leave her there on the couch and go get into his bed...alone, but that idea didn't appeal to him in the slightest. He didn't want to let go of her. He didn't want to give up the comfort that he derived from holding her close.

His fingers found their way back into her hair. He hoped she was warm enough, the heat was on and she was dressed in jeans and a thin, long sleeved black sweater; but he didn't have a blanket within reach to cover her with. He didn't want her to be cold, so he shifted a little, adjusting his hold on her, in hopes of providing her with enough warmth from his own body heat. He sighed, it was too quiet without her voice filling the air and distracting him from thoughts of his father and his condition which seemed so perilous at the moment. He figured that Johanna probably wouldn't mind if he woke her and asked her to talk to him, but he wouldn't. She had had a long day of her own between court and the office and God only knew how many hours she had spent sitting outside his door waiting for him to come home. It was enough that she had so willingly agreed to stay with him, that she had taken his request for her to talk and had done so until her voice started to sound slightly hoarse. She never failed to amaze him. Keeping his thoughts focused on her, he allowed his eyes to close and sleep to claim him once again.

---

When Jim woke again later that morning, he was alone. For a moment he felt a little lost without Johanna's presence at his side but then the smell of coffee brewing and eggs cooking filled his senses. She was still there. He released a small breath of relief at that knowledge and briefly wondered how she had managed to crawl over him without waking him. He got up from the sofa and headed towards the bathroom to get ready for what was probably going to be another long day. When he was through, he moved into the kitchen where Johanna was pouring coffee into the mugs she had placed on the table next to plates containing eggs and toast.

"Maybe you should've been a waitress," he commented as he watched her move around his kitchen with ease.

"I've done a stint as a waitress," she replied; "And on those rare occasions when my mother was away from home at meal time, I was expected as the eldest daughter to fill the role of cook, server, and hostess."

He gave her a smile. "She taught you well."

"She'll be happy to know that," Johanna replied as they sat down. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. No one's called, have they?"

"No; I would've told you right away."

"No news is good news…right?" Jim asked as he picked at his breakfast.

"Yes; it means he's still the same or he's improved."

"I hope so…I'm not ready to think of a world without him."

"Then don't," Johanna said softly as she took his hand. "You have to think positively. He's still here, that has to be a good sign."

He gave a nod; somehow that sounded reasonable coming from her.

"Try to eat a little more," his colleague gently demanded. "I know you probably won't eat at the hospital, not that I can blame you for that."

Jim managed to give her a half smile at comment and he did his best to appease her by eating a little more. It grew quiet between them and he glanced at his watch as a thought occurred to him.

"Jo, you're going to be late for work," he stated; a touch of guilt in his tone that he was the cause.

"It's all right. I don't have any appointments until after lunch. I was supposed to be in court again today but since the case wrapped early, I figured I'd just use the time for paperwork. Sharon will take care of things until I get there. Is there anything you need me to do for you?"

He thought for a moment. "I need to write a note for Sally telling her what all I need her to do. There are also some things I need that I could work on outside of the office. If she can get things together and write out my re-arranged schedule; can she give it all to you and I'll stop by your place tonight and pick it up?"

"That's fine," Johanna told him. "Whatever you need."

"Then you won't have to sit outside my door all evening."

"I didn't mind," she said with a smile. "I've been meaning to read that book anyway."

Jim pushed away from the table. "I'll write that note for Sally and then I'll drop you off at your place so you can get ready for work."

Johanna gave a nod of agreement and hurriedly cleaned up the kitchen. When he finished his instructions for his secretary, she took the note and tucked it into her purse and then hugged him tightly. "It'll be okay," she whispered assuredly.

He tightened his hold for a moment; pressing a soft kiss against her hair before releasing her so she could slip into her coat. "I needed that."

"I'll have another one for you later," she promised.

---

As the clock ticked past nine, Johanna was beginning to worry. She had yet to hear from Jim and a call to his apartment a half hour before had gone unanswered. She hoped and prayed that things hadn't taken a turn for the worst. He'd be so devastated; not that he wasn't already struggling with that idea. She half heartedly focused her gaze on the television screen, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as she did so. Finally a knock came at her door and she hurried to answer it.

Jim stood on the other side of the door when she opened it, looking weary but offering her a small smile. "Sorry to be so late."

Johanna shook her head as he stepped inside. "I'm not concerned about what time it is," she told him; taking his coat as he shrugged out of it and hanging it in the closet. "I was starting to worry a little though. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he answered; gratefully accepting her hug as her arms slipped around him.

"How is your father?"

"He's stable but still listed as serious. He was awake here and there for a few minutes but he wasn't really himself, you know what I mean?"

She nodded. "I'm sure the medication is keeping him groggy and disoriented."

Jim rubbed his hands over his face as he sat down on the sofa; Johanna taking a seat next to him. "It's not easy to see him like that," he said quietly. "All of those tubes and machines…it makes him seem so…" he trailed off; unsure of the word he was searching for.

"Fragile?" she supplied.

"Yeah, I guess so. That's not a word I ever thought I could associate with him. He always seemed so indestructible. When I was a kid, he was right up there with those cowboys and Marshals that I idolized on television and in movies. He seemed so much like them; tall and solid...brave and able to make you feel safe. When he meant business you knew it. He knows how to lay down the law but then there's that other side of him that's always been full of life and fun. He's always been one of those people who loves the outdoors and working with his hands. He loves baseball...loves to go to as many games as he can every season and he loves to take one or all of us with him. He likes people and he's a good judge of character...he's a good father," Jim rambled on. "He's never given any of us reason to doubt that he loves us. Even when he was busy, he'd make time for us. We never had to ask...he just did it. He liked teaching us things, playing our games in yard when we were kids...and then as we got older, he enjoyed beating us at poker...which he's way too good at," he added with a laugh.

Johanna smiled as he caught her eye; her hand slipping into his, giving him all the encouragement to continue.

"He loves magic," Jim laughed. "He's always trying some new trick."

"Really?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "Dad loves that stuff; he always has. He claims that he met some famous magician once when he was a kid...we're not sure if that's true or not. He can tell a great story when the mood strikes but he does love his magic. He says it helps ease the stress of work but it drives Mom crazy which I figure just makes it all the more appealing to him."

"How long have they been married?"

"34 years," he replied. "Sometimes I wonder how they ever ended up together; they're so different from one another in some respects."

"Well they say opposites attract," Johanna remarked; and even though she hated to stop his stream of thoughts, she asked "Did you eat dinner?"

"No."

"Come with me," she said; tugging at his hand. "I kept a plate warm for you."

"You didn't have to do that," he replied as he followed her into the kitchen.

"Don't be silly," she said as she took the plate from the oven and sat it on the table. "What kind of hostess would I be if I didn't feed you? My mother would be ashamed."

Jim laughed. "We wouldn't want that."

"No we wouldn't. What would you like to drink?"

"Something cold. I'm tired of coffee."

She grabbed them each a soda from the fridge and then sat down across from him after grabbing him a fork from the drawer. "How did your parents meet?" she asked; focusing his thoughts for him once again.

"They met at a party," he replied. "My mother's mother was good friends with my father's aunt. I think it was a holiday party...Dad claims she fell in love with him at first sight; she says it took awhile."

Johanna laughed. "Who do you think is telling the truth?"

"My mother," he chuckled. "How did your parents meet?"

"My mother was a secretary," Johanna stated; "And my father had put out a help wanted ad for a secretary and she went for an interview. She didn't get the job but she got Dad. Sometimes when she's aggravated with him, she says that she probably would've been better off getting the job instead."

He laughed. "It's a good story."

"I guess it is," she said with a nod. "I think either way she was out of luck; I spent two summers working for Dad...it wasn't pretty."

"When was this?"

"When I was a teenager. I wasn't old enough for a real job yet so he took me into the office. He did the same with Frankie."

"What about Colleen?"

"She only lasted a day with him; he said he'd rather pay her to stay home with Mom."

"Bet you wished you had gotten that deal."

"You better believe it," she laughed.

As he finished off his meal, she broached another question. "Did you ever hear from your brother in Germany?"

"He called Mom at the hospital but he didn't say he was coming home. I don't know if they won't let him or if he just isn't going to request to unless things get worse. William's more like Mom than the rest of us. He loves Dad and there's nothing bad between them that I know of but he's always been somewhat…"

"Aloof?" she asked.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Even as a kid he seemed that way. I was fifteen when he went into the army but I remember that even then I felt like that suited him. He seemed like a solider so it was only right he become one."

"What about Andrew?" she inquired. "I saw on the news that Colorado is still being pounded with snow."

"He can't get a flight out. He thought he could get a train but they're not moving either. Mom made him promise that he wouldn't try to drive through it, because he would. He wouldn't care about the risk or how long it would take to get to a state where he could catch a plane. For now he's staying put...but I know him...he'll get antsy and find a way out."

"And Michael?"

"He's taking care of business for Dad, along with his own...and I think he prefers to stay wrapped in that for the moment. I guess it keeps him from thinking too much about the possible outcomes here. Natalie, his wife, said she'd help as much as she could but they have four kids and only one of them is in school at the moment."

"So she's kind of out of the running unless she has a babysitter," Johanna commented.

"Pretty much," Jim said as he rubbed his neck.

"Let's go back into the living room," she suggested as she got up from the table. He followed her and they settled back on the sofa as they had been earlier.

"How is Madelyn doing?"

"She's okay for now...she's taking Mom in stride...the real question is, how long will it be before she pushes back," he replied. "I gave her your phone number. I hope you don't mind but I wanted her to be able to find me if they needed me."

"No, I don't mind. I got those files you wanted from Sally and she wrote out what she's been able to reschedule so far. She also gave me your mail."

"Thank you," he murmured. "How was everything at the office today?"

Johanna took her cue that he welcomed a change of topic and she filled him in on all of the day's happenings. She could see him relaxing as she regaled him with the break room gossip she had overheard but then her phone rang and he tensed. She laid a soothing hand on his knee and reached for the phone with the other; her own heart pounding with fear.

Jim listened intently as she lifted the receiver and said "Hello." He could feel her anxiety and then suddenly it was gone as she stated; "What is it, Colleen?" He released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as she lightly squeezed his knee. He relaxed back into the sofa, content to listen to her side of the conversation.

"Another dress shop? Are you serious? Why can't you just pick something better from one of the fifty we've already been to," she stated.

Jim's ears strained to hear Colleen's reply but he couldn't quite make it out but he saw Johanna roll her eyes and a smile touched his lips.

"Yes, Colleen, I know when you're getting married. I have a big red circle around that day on my calendar. I'm in no danger of forgetting."

He laid his hand over hers and softly caressed her skin as she listened to her sister's drabble.

"Fine; I'll be there," she stated. "Let's avoid the ugly rack this time and maybe we won't have the problems we had last time."

Jim stifled a laugh as she sighed with exasperation. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?" she asked. "I'm busy."

"Doing what?" he heard Colleen demand to know.

Johanna caught his eye and smirked. "If you must know, I'm entertaining men. I have one here now and three more waiting in the hallway and they're getting impatient so I really need to go."

Jim couldn't stop the laughter that burst forth and she laughed with him. "Oh shut up," she told Colleen; interrupting whatever rant her sister was on. "I can't help it if you don't have a sense of humor this time of night. If you hurry, you can call Mom and tell her all about it before she goes to bed."

Her comment only made him laugh more and when she finally hung up the phone, he tugged her into his arms. "That was a good one, Jo."

"I'm glad someone appreciated it. Being a bride has not only robbed her of her sense and the little bit of taste she used to have; it has also robbed her of her sense of humor."

"Maybe you should hit her. It might realign something in her brain."

Johanna thought about that for a moment. "I like that excuse, it makes it sound like it's for her own good. I'll keep that in mind for tomorrow."

"Glad I could be of help," he replied as he kept her tucked against him.

They watched TV in silence for awhile until the ring of the phone startled them once again; pulling her from his arms. They each held their breaths once again as she answered and after a moment, her features relaxed and she clamped a hand over the receiver as she glanced at him. "That little brat really called Mom and tattled on me, can you believe it?"

He chuckled lightly. "I can believe it, she seems like the type." She returned her attention to her phone call and he once again settled back to listen; picking out the nuances in her tone as she spoke to her mother. He picked up on everything from affection to exasperation as he relaxed again, her voice soothing to his mind and by the time she ended the call, he was sound asleep.

Johanna turned towards Jim after hanging up the phone and realized that he was asleep. She smiled slightly as she studied him, wondering what course of action to take. She didn't really want to send him home. She didn't like the idea of him driving when he was so clearly exhausted. She could just let him sleep there on her couch but she frowned at that thought. He needed a decent night's rest and she didn't think he'd get that by sleeping on the couch again. There was another option and after briefly debating it, she got up from the sofa and went to her bedroom where she clicked on a lamp and pulled back the covers on the bed. She changed into her pajamas and then moved back to the living room. She clicked off the television and then approached him; nudging him gently until his eyes flicked open and met hers.

"It's time for bed," she said softly as she took his hand. "Let's get some sleep."

Jim followed her without question and as he stumbled into her, she realized that he was barely awake. He was out cold by the time his head hit the pillow and she carefully removed his shoes and set them aside before reaching for his wrist and taking off his watch. She laid it on the nightstand and then studied him for a few moments, her fingertips reaching out and skimming along his hair line before she gave in to the urge to press a kiss to his forehead. Johanna clicked off the lamp and then rounded the bed and crawled in on the other side. She was tempted to curl up against him...longed to do it actually but she held back; feeling like she would somehow be taking advantage of the situation after she had been presumptuous enough to place him in her bed. She turned away from him; trying to force herself to ignore his presence but then he rolled over in his sleep, and upon bumping into her, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. She smiled and drifted off to sleep as her hand found his.

---

"Did I fall asleep on you last night?" Jim asked the next morning as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

Johanna looked up from the bacon she was frying and smiled. "Just a little."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I did," she replied.

"I don't remember it."

"I'm not surprised; you were more asleep than awake."

He didn't seem to be getting the answer that he was seeking so he was just going to have to ask it. "How did I end up in your bed?"

She gave a soft laugh. "I didn't carry you if that's what you're thinking."

"No; I wasn't thinking that at all," he assured as he watched her transfer the strips of bacon to a plate.

"You walked," Johanna stated. "I woke you and told you it was time for bed and then took your hand and you followed me. You were out cold before your head even hit the pillow."

"Why didn't you send me home?" Jim asked as she set aside the skillet and turned her attention to the scrambled eggs she was keeping warm.

"I wasn't going to send you home in the middle of the night as exhausted as you were. You weren't in any condition to drive. I could've driven you home in your car and then took a cab back home but I know how much you hate it when I'm out late at night by myself…"

"You're right; I do hate it," he interrupted. "It isn't safe."

"I know, just like I know that if I had done that, you would've felt the need to lecture me this morning and I figure you have enough to worry about without penciling in time to yell at me, so I thought we were better off staying put. It wasn't a big deal for you to stay here; you said that you told Madelyn that you were coming here and gave her my number."

"You could've left me on the couch."

"You needed to be comfortable so you could rest properly. You didn't sleep much the night before, or the night before that."

"But I don't want to take your bed from you, Jo."

"You didn't," she replied. "It's big enough for both of us."

"You were there with me?"

"Yes; but it's no different than the night before when we slept on your couch together."

He had been in bed with her and didn't even remember it…nor had he gotten to enjoy it in any way. Suddenly he felt so cheated.

"Don't worry," Johanna stated as she picked up the plates she had filled and placed them on the table. "You were a perfect gentleman."

Jim gave a short laugh. "I don't know whether to be proud of that or disappointed in myself."

Her eyes danced with merriment. "I suppose you could be a little of both if it makes you feel better," she told him before turning back to the counter to pick up the coffeepot. "And by the way, we are now even in the 'taking off shoes' department."

"You took my shoes off too!" he exclaimed.

"Yes," she laughed. "I don't allow shoes in my bed."

"This is just great," he said as he sat down at the table. "Yesterday you climbed over me to get off the couch; last night I was in bed with you and you were removing things from my body…"

"Just your shoes," Johanna reiterated.

"But the point is, I missed all of it," Jim replied; "And you can't imagine how upsetting that is to me."

She laughed lightly. "Hey, how do you think I feel? I'm doing all of these things to you that I thought you'd enjoy and you're sleeping through it. It makes me think I must be doing something wrong."

He gave her an amused smirk; apparently she wanted to be playful this morning. He enjoyed that side of her…and it was what he needed most this week. "Are you saying that I disappointed you, Jo?" he asked humorously.

"A little," she jested. "I thought I'd have the makings of a good story that would make me one of the popular girls at work. I thought maybe I could show up Melanie and her exploits."

"Feel free to lie," Jim told her. "I'll back you up. Tell her I was all over you last night. Tell her I gave you the best night of your life."

Johanna laughed. "That sounds more like ego stroking for you…and somewhat presumptuous of you as well, I might add."

He grinned. "What? You don't think I could give you the best night you've had?"

She gave a nonchalant shrug, "Whose to say it wouldn't be the other way around? Maybe I'd give you the best night of your life."

His eyes gleamed with amusement. "Either way I come out a winner."

"You're impossible," she giggled.

"Oh I'm more than possible," he teased. "Do you want to go find out whose right?"

She pretended to think about it for a second and then shook her head. "No; then I'd have to take another shower."

His eyes darted back to her face. "You took a shower while I was asleep?"

"Yes."

Jim shook his head. "Damn; I missed that too."

"Well you know what they say; you snooze, you lose," Johanna quipped.

Jim glared at her playfully. "You better watch, Sassy. You keep it up and the next time I get into bed with you, I won't be a gentleman."

Johanna grinned. "Is that a promise or a bunch of empty words?"

He almost choked on his coffee. "Johanna McKenzie, did you just challenge me to get you into bed?" he asked with amusement.

"How you interpret things is your business."

He couldn't help but goad her a little. "It probably wouldn't be too much of a challenge."

Her brow rose. "Are you insinuating that I'm easy?"

"Not in the general sense of the word. I just think I could get you to be easy for me."

She scoffed playfully. "Oh no, honey; I'd make you work for it."

"That's work I could enjoy immensely," he grinned.

Johanna rolled her eyes; a smile clinging to her lips. "Eat your breakfast you womanizer."

He laughed and took another bite of eggs but couldn't ignore the stray thought that popped into his mind. "Did you get dressed in your room while I was laying there asleep?" he asked.

She hadn't; but it would be so much fun to make him ponder the possibility that she had. "I guess you'll never know," she said cryptically.

He shook his head at her; affection for her written in his features. "You're a damn tease, Johanna."

"Sue me."

"Oh I'll do better than that," he told her. "I'll teach you a lesson one of these days."

"I've always enjoyed a good lesson," she replied; a touch of seductiveness in her smile.

He could say so many things to that but he figured it was best to let it drop before they took it much further…because if she kept talking like that, he'd be so very tempted to give her that lesson before breakfast was over.

After they finished eating; Johanna cleared the dishes from the table in preparation of washing them. When she turned back towards Jim, she saw that he was rubbing the back of his neck, a wince present in his features.

"The stress getting to you?" she asked as she opened one of the cabinets and took out a bottle of pain relievers.

"Yeah, a little," he admitted; while she shook out two tablets for him.

After he swallowed the pills, she moved behind him and brushed his hand away. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm going to get this knot out of your neck for you," she replied as she set about massaging the area.

He was silent for awhile as she tended to him and he had to admit that she was good at what she was doing. "I think you missed your calling, Jo. You're a great lawyer but I'd pay you twice as much to do this."

She laughed softly. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Good," she replied as she moved her hands to his shoulders to ease the tension there. "And you're awake for it."

He chuckled quietly. "I have to stop going to sleep around you. You might be taking advantage of me and I'm missing out on it."

"If I took advantage of you; you'd know it," she said; pausing her ministrations long enough to swat him playfully.

"Is that right?"

"That's right. I'd wake you up so you'd know it."

"I should hope so, then I'd have a good story to tell to Melanie and then I could be popular."

"Are you making fun of me?" she laughed. "Do you want me to put that knot back in your neck?"

"No to both questions. You just keep doing what you're doing."

"You like this, do you?"

"Yes," Jim answered; a little voice in his head privately adding that he might be liking it more than he should. "Where did you learn this at?"

"Oh I dated this med student in college. He started out in massage therapy before deciding to just become a doctor instead."

A med student, he thought to himself. Why did women always go for doctors? "And how long were you with this guy?" he asked; a trace of jealousy detectable in his tone if she had been listening for it.

"Two years," Johanna answered.

Jim was quiet for a moment as he thought about that. "That's a long time; what happened?"

"He found himself a perky little nurse."

He heard the undertones of an old hurt lingering in her voice. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she replied. "It taught me not to be so naive."

"It's his loss, Johanna."

"I know," his friend replied; "But it took me awhile to believe that."

"Any chance he's working at the hospital my father is in?"

"No," she laughed. "Last I heard he was in Philadelphia."

"Did he teach you anything else?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said suggestively; bringing back the lightness of their breakfast.

He laughed. "You're killing me this morning, Jo."

"But you like it," she giggled as she wrapped her arms around him.

He liked it alright, he thought as he took her hand and tugged her around the chair and pulled her down onto his lap so that he could embrace her. He was so very glad to have her in his corner...he needed her.

"When do you have to meet Colleen?" he asked once she had abandoned her place on his lap and had returned to her task of cleaning up.

Johanna glanced at her watch and sighed. "In about an hour."

"Then I better get out of here so you can get ready and go," he replied.

"I'm in no hurry," she said as she leisurely followed him into the living room.

He grinned. "Come on now, you know you're going to have fun trying on all of those ugly dresses that Colleen thinks is wonderful."

She scoffed. "Fun and dress shopping with Colleen don't belong in the same sentence; it's going to be excruciating as always but I guess I may as well get it over with. Delaying it only makes it worse. Here are those files you asked for and Sally's note about your schedule is in the envelope," she explained as she grabbed the small stack from the stand.

"Thank you. Do you need me to drop you off?" Jim asked.

"No; I'll get a cab. There's no sense in taking you out of your way."

"Are you sure? Because I don't mind."

"I'm sure. I'll be fine; you go do what you need to do."

"I have to pick up my grandmother after I go home and change," he told her; "I have to take her to the hospital with me."

"Whose mother is she?"

"My father's," he answered.

"What's her name?"

"Lilly."

"That's pretty," Johanna said with a smile. "How is she handling this?"

"Better than my mother, but that doesn't mean she's any less worried."

"I don't doubt that," she replied as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Let me know how things are."

"I will," he promised; brushing his lips against the soft skin of her cheek before saying goodbye.

---

"What are you smiling about, Jimmy?" Elizabeth Beckett asked; her sharp tone pulling her son from his daydreams.

"What?" he asked.

"I asked you what you were smiling about," she said tartly. "I don't see anything here that's the least bit amusing. Your father is lying there with tubes and machines hooked to him and you're sitting there grinning like the cat that just ate the canary."

Jim knew that his mother was upset and worried but her dramatics and attitude were beginning to grate on him. "I'm sorry, Mother; I didn't realize that I wasn't allowed to smile while daydreaming."

"Daydreams," she scoffed. "Those are for people who have no worries!"

"People with worries are the ones who need them most," Madelyn retorted as she came to her brother's defense.

"And what are your daydreams about, Madelyn?" their mother asked.

She shot her mother an exasperated look. "You don't want to know."

Jim chuckled lightly; he could just imagine what Madelyn's daydreams involved as she was clearly getting fed up with their mother.

"Don't you take that tone with me," Elizabeth remarked before shifting her gaze to her son, "And don't you encourage her behavior."

"Mother, why don't you go home and take a nap," Jim replied; "God knows you need one."

"I'll go home when I'm good and damn ready and not a moment sooner," she retorted; "And I'll thank you to behave properly and in the manner that this situation calls for."

"Maybe you should write us a list of what we're not allowed to do," Madelyn commented.

"Don't tempt her," Jim stated. "Who knows what else she would outlaw."

Elizabeth's mouth was pressed into a thin line as she regarded her children. "Well how do you think it would look if a doctor or a nurse came in here and saw you all daydreaming and smiling?"

"It would probably look normal," he answered.

"For God's sake, Elizabeth," Lilly Beckett spoke up as she sat by her son's bedside; "Let the kids alone. They don't have to sit here with looks of grave concern permanently etched into their faces to prove that they care; and besides, who gives a damn how it looks to anyone who happens to walk in here? We all know that we're worried and concerned and that's all that matters."

"I care," her daughter-in-law retorted.

"That's the problem with you," Lilly stated. "You care far too much about what other people think. While we're here, why don't you see somebody about having that stick removed from your backside...you might feel a little better once that's gone."

Jim and Madelyn fought against their laughter but lost and their grandmother's eyes gleamed with amusement. "I'm glad the kids were born without that stick...well at least four of them were. William does seem to have one but I love him anyway," the old woman remarked. "Normalcy is what's needed here, and if Jimmy wants to smile and Madelyn wants to be a little flippant, then let them. She's just taking after me and Jimmy's probably thinking about some pretty girl."

"And I bet I know which one," his sister said teasingly.

"Shut up," he said as he gave her a sidelong glance.

"Who is it?" Elizabeth demanded to know. "That girl you ran off to see last night?"

"You had to tell her, didn't you?" he asked his sister.

"It was an accident," Madelyn replied sincerely. "It kind of slipped out."

"Well?" his mother stated; "Who is she? Some trollop that men your age seem to like?"

Jim's eyes narrowed as he held Elizabeth's gaze. "She's my friend and my colleague. And not that I have to answer to you but I went to see her because I asked her to take care of some things for me."

She scoffed. "And just what is it that she specializes in taking care of?"

"Mother," he stated; his tone low with warning; "Don't you ever insinuate that she's anything less than a lady."

Elizabeth sniffed snobbishly. "She's probably only after your money, Jimmy."

He laughed. "She's an attorney; just like I am. She has her own money and her father owns his own company. I'm sure that if for some reason she needed a few dollars that she could get it from her family; but it doesn't matter anyway as we're just friends."

Elizabeth didn't buy that and she set about reaffirming her stance on who he should spend his life with. "You have a perfectly nice girl who would like nothing more than to give you a nice home and family if you'd only give her a chance."

"It's never going to happen," Jim stated firmly.

"I don't see why not!"

"Because I don't want her and I don't love her."

"You won't even try," Elizabeth retorted. "Helen is just the kind of girl you need."

"Mother if you like Helen Crawford so much, you marry her," Jim told her.

Madelyn choked back a laugh at their mother's outraged expression. "Elizabeth," Lilly spoke up; "How would it look to people if they came in here and heard you trying to arrange marriages for your children? That sort of thing isn't done now a days."

"That's right," Jim said; "And I don't think it's appropriate behavior when your husband is lying there in a hospital bed..."

"Oh be quiet!" Elizabeth exclaimed cutting off the words that he was slapping back in her face. "I'm going down to the cafeteria and get a sandwich."

"I'll go with you," Lilly said. "That way I can make sure you take your time coming back and give those two some peace."

After their mother and grandmother had made their exit, Madelyn laid her head against her brother's shoulder. "What does she look like?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Johanna."

"She's beautiful," he answered without much thought.

His sister laughed softly. "I already figured that much; but is she blonde, brunette, redhead?"

"Brunette," he replied. "She has long, dark brown hair...so dark that it sometimes looks black in certain light but it's definitely brown."

"What else?" she prodded.

"She's about your height and slender...seems to have a thing about keeping her fingernails painted red."

"Don't forget those beautiful green eyes you like looking into," a tired voice said from the bed.

Jim glanced towards his father and saw that his blue eyes were watching them. "You don't forget a damn thing, do you?"

Robert smiled. "Not when it's about my kids or what's important to them."

Madelyn tugged at his sleeve and angled her head to look at him. "Green eyes, huh?"

He smirked; there was no point in denying it. "Yes; she has beautiful green eyes, framed by long, black lashes."

She smiled "You must really like looking into her eyes, Jimmy, if you know the details of them that well."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "What's not to like?"

Robert caught his daughter's eye. "Your brother is smitten."

"Go back to sleep, Dad; you're delusional," Jim said lightly.

"It must be contagious," Madelyn quipped; "Because I think he's smitten too.

He shook his head at them and then changed the topic.

---

That evening once he was finally home, Jim paced the floor of his living room; a part of him wanting nothing more than to go see Johanna but he held back. He had already monopolized her time the past two nights; he really shouldn't keep doing that. She probably had work to do and she probably needed her time alone...but that didn't mean he couldn't call her; he reasoned as his gaze fell upon his phone. He did promise to update her and he wouldn't want her to be worried about him. With that thought in mind, he sat down on his sofa and picked up the phone and dialed. He listened to the line ring; holding his breath without realizing it.

The line clicked and her voice floated across it. "Hello."

"Hey, sweetheart," he answered; something in his chest easing at the sound of her voice.

"Hey," Johanna replied; her tone softening and he could imagine the smile that was touching her lips. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I just got home a little while ago."

"How is your Dad doing?"

"He seemed a little better today. He was awake longer and seemed more like himself."

"That's good," she answered. "Maybe he can go home soon."

"I hope so; but they're still running tests...and not saying much about them which makes me worry a little."

"What have they said?"

"Just that they're standard tests and the results take time...that they'll let us know...I can't help but feel like we're getting the run around in some ways but I don't want to rock the boat just yet. It's only been a few days, maybe it does take time."

"Maybe when it's something this serious, the testing does take longer," she agreed. "Give it another day or two and then if you still think something isn't right; then go in demand some answers."

"And remind them that I'm a lawyer," he added.

"That too."

He was glad that he had broached how he felt about that issue and had gotten her opinion; it eased some of the weight as his siblings seemed to be leaving it up to him, as was his mother.

As if she had read his mind she asked, "How's your mom?"

He gave a short laugh. "She's herself...which is sometimes exasperating to say the least."

Johanna laughed. "Isn't that what mothers are for? Exasperating us is in their job description."

"My mother makes it an art form. You know how I said she doesn't believe in nonsense?"

"Yeah."

"Well she also doesn't believe in daydreaming or smiling while sitting in a hospital room."

"Wow," Johanna replied; "What else is there to do but daydream when you're sitting for a long period of time."

"Mother believes there is certain decorum to be followed in this situation so that the doctors and nurses won't get the wrong idea."

"I take it you've had a long day," she remarked; sympathy in her voice.

"You could say that. How was the dress shopping? Any causalities?"

She sighed. "It was horrible but there were no casualties unless you count the death of taste and style."

He chuckled. "Sounds like those are important casualties; do you now have a maid of honor dress?"

"Unfortunately," Johanna answered.

"What does it look like?"

"It's hideous," she told him. "Not as hideous as the one I told you about but very close. Picture a dandelion...one that's been standing in the scorching sun all day and is sort of wilted and has obtained that dark, dingy, yellow color that's somewhat like jarred baby food."

"Oh God," he muttered.

"It gets worse," she replied. "Now imagine that the dandelion has somehow gotten tangled up in several spider webs which were masquerading as lace."

Jim laughed. "This isn't sounding good at all, Jo."

"It's not good," she stated. "It is so not good. It's floor length and off the shoulder. It's terrible...I don't know how I'll manage to wear it without throwing up but I just couldn't take another weekend of this so I conceded the battle."

"You fought a good fight, sweetheart," he said consolingly. "I just hope this is going to be taped and that you'll show it to me."

Johanna laughed. "Oh trust me, it's going to be taped. That was one of her first demands."

"Well at least the dress shopping is done now and she'll let you alone."

"She's not going to let me alone anytime soon," she scoffed. "I do want you to know that I drew the line at the hat she wanted to go along with that get up she picked out."

"A hat?" he laughed.

"Oh yeah, a big floppy hat with pink flowers on it. I told her there was no way in hell and she decided she had enough of a victory today and decided to be satisfied with it."

"Thank God for that."

"Would it be wrong of me to pray that those dresses have some kind of disaster right before the wedding and can't be replaced?"

"No," Jim answered. "If it's as bad as you say, then you should probably pray every day for it...and maybe orchestrate it."

"My mother is going to be guarding them...I think they suspect I might attempt something."

"Then I guess you're just going to have to grin and bear it, sweetheart."

"That's the story of my life," she laughed and then after a moment she said; "I'm bailing on Sunday dinner again...if things stay okay and you want...you could come over and have dinner with me."

Jim smiled. "That sounds nice; what time?"

"Same as last time."

"If nothing changes, I'll be there, and if it does, I'll call and let you know so don't worry."

"All right," she agreed.

He hated to end their call but he was tired and he could hear tiredness in her voice as well. "I'll let you go for now. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Get some rest," she told him. "If you need me, call me."

"I will."

"Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight, Jo," he replied before hanging up. He shook off the sudden feel of loneliness and headed for his bed.

---

The days that followed seemed to fall into a pattern for Jim; He went back to work on Monday but left far earlier than usual so he could spend as much time at the hospital as he could; his father was improving but not as quickly as the doctors had hoped which kept him in a constant state of worry. That worry led to nightly visits to Johanna; and if he felt it was too late to visit or that he had infringed on her time too much, he made himself content with a phone call but she never complained about how he suddenly seemed to need her so much. She listened to him rant, his worries, and his fears. She made sure he ate and double checked his work to make sure his distracted mind hadn't made any mistakes. She was his anchor in the midst of the upset in his life and he clung to her without much shame. A week after his father's heart attack, when the world crashed down again; her number was the first he dialed.

Johanna heard her phone ringing as she stepped out of the shower Thursday night and she hurriedly wrapped a towel around her and hurried to her bedroom to grab the phone on the nightstand.

"Hello," she said as she stood dripping onto her carpet.

"Jo," Jim answered; his voice sounding anguished, making her heart thud against her ribs.

"What's wrong?"

"He's taken a turn for the worst," he answered.

…to be continued