Happy New Year, you beautiful little muggles!
Blackmail and Bribery
"I should have just told them who I am. Why I'm here… What they mean to me. Argh! How am I going to fix this?!"
["They wouldn't have believed you. At best, they'd think you were lying. At worst, clinically insane."]
"Better that than this."
["Oh, don't be so dramatic. All this is is just commonplace teenage angst. It would pass soon enough once their bodies mature into adulthood."]
"Soon? Adulthood? They're seventeen, WNTR."
["Another thirteen years then and your problem's solved itself."]
"…You can't be serious."
["Am I not? Forgive me, my general. You asked how you could fix your problem. I merely provided an answer: wait thirteen years."]
Jaune hesitated as he actually took the time to ponder that, "You know sometimes, I have a hard time telling if you're being sarcastic or not."
["As a construct, I would take that as a compliment,"] she sounded pleased, ["and yes Jaune, I was being sarcastic."]
Jaune released a long-suffering sigh. "I seriously need to think about getting a new battlefield operator," he grumbled.
Her reply quick and tone careless, ["You don't mean that,"] WNTR much less argued and more stated the fact as if she knew he meant the threat as nothing more than a footnote. ["All I'm trying to say is that you have more important things to worry about than your friendship with some kids. You have a world to save, General,"] she reasoned.
Surprisingly it was his younger self that resonated with that statement; after all, she was right. Compared to saving Remnant, what were a couple of butt-hurt kids? There was a lot at stake, a lot of things that still needed doing, and so little time to do it. He couldn't afford any more distractions. And that was all they were, distractions.
Wolves' Bane, however, knew better, and Wolves' Bane did not agree.
Because if there was one thing the old codger knew, it was that a cause was only as worthy a fight as the stake you had in it. Not a very altruistic mindset for someone lauded as the greatest huntsman to have ever walked the heretofore burning Remnant, but it was no less true.
Wolf couldn't even imagine where he'd be if it weren't for Ruby. Why just the memory of his wife was enough to get him through the drudgery of his day-to-day in a world where he had already lost everything.
["Your wife, Jaune?"]
His train of thought immediately came crashing as soon as he recognized the words that were coming out of his proverbial mouth. Jaune groaned and rubbed his face in the palms of his hands.
He was doing it again, wasn't he?
Only when it looked like he had nothing to say did WNTR think it safe to speak, ["Gene-"] she let out a simulated breath before continuing in a softer tone, [Jaune… forgive me,"] and the AI actually sounded contrite for once. ["I forgot just how much you loved them all."]
For what he felt was the hundredth time, again, his hands roughly massaged his face. "Yeah… me too."
["Too? Is it the stress or are you still having trouble with your memories?"]
"…Yes."
'To both', she knew he meant to say but didn't. ["I've been meaning to talk to you about that."]
The change of topic had been rather obvious, but nonetheless, Jaune was thankful for it. His AI may seem heartless at times, but at least she knew when not to press.
"What is it, WNTR?"
["I've been observing your brain activity for some time now, and I have to say: what I've been able to gather so far is quite... fascinating, to say the least."]
"Fascinating?"
She hummed, ["Tell me what it's like recalling your memories."]
Jaune realized then how, ever since his miraculous return to the land of the living, he had never really taken the time to do even just that. He'd been too busy getting caught up in it all: the planning, the conniving, the arguing, the worrying, not to mention he still hadn't had any coffee yet.
What was it like?
"It's weird like when I'm going down a road and it splits. A part of me wants to go one way. Another part wants to go the other. Both of them agree that they have to move forward, though, so they, uh, end up going… both(?) ways at the same time while... holding hands- ugh, it's hard to explain."
["No, it actually explains a lot. You see at the moment, I'm detecting two sets of brain-wave activity going on inside your head. Now, I'm not going to even try and explain to you, what with your feeble human intellect, how that alone is a medical marvel,"] Jaune let out a calloused grunt at the offshoot jab directed at him and humankind in general whilst WNTR carried on without breaking her stride, ["but I will put it simply: it is a miracle that you're even breathing right now. That's not what is truly amazing, however. What is truly amazing is how both waves are inherently different yet your mind recognizes them as its own and is trying to make them coalesce."]
"And what does that mean for me exactly?"
["What does what mean?"] confused, she asked.
"What do you mean 'what do I mean'? You're not going to tell me how two sets of brain-waves are going to mess me up?"
WNTR made an "aha" sort of noise before explaining, ["Oooh, no. I was merely explaining to you what I found so fascinating about your current mental health."]
Jaune blinked twice. "That's… it?"
["Yes."]
"Seriously?"
["I thought the change in topic would be appreciated rather than we dwell on your lack of friends right now."]
Oof. Remember the time he said that WNTR knew when not to press? He took that back and doubling down on the heartless bit. "Thank you, WNTR."
WNTR didn't even bother registering the sarcasm in his long drawl, ["You are most welcome, my general."]
"Mr Arc?"
Surprised, Jaune sat up from where he was lying on the grass. "Ms Goodwitch?"
"Jaune!" Her walk became a march when she spotted him. "What on Remnant are you doing out here?! You have classes to teach!"
Jaune laid back down without a care, "Just the one."
"Mr Arc," Glynda groaned as she massaged the bridge of her nose, "The class that your and Ms Rose's teams attend isn't the only class that you have. I made sure that your schedule is fully booked. Right now you should be teaching your 3:15, and it is already 3:55!"
"Oh, you're right! Got to get ready for my 4:30." Jaune stood up and patted his butt down clear of grass.
The skin under her eye began to twitch in agitation, but Glynda refrained from doing anything too unprofessional, "Mr Arc, this is not how a professor should behave!" The combat instructor followed after her colleague as he began to walk. "You have duties now, responsibilities; you can't just disappear like this. You agreed to teach."
"What I agreed to was to help my old team prepare for Cinder, not become a professor to a hundred other kids who want to pretend at being huntsmen."
"You can't mean that. You can not be that jaded! What about the rest of Vale? The rest of Remnant?"
"What about Remnant? You want me to save the world? Then tell Ozpin to start listening to what I have to say."
Glynda jogged ahead to block his path—not an easy thing to do in heels, but she managed. "Stop this," she demanded. "We are doing the best we can, and your petulance is not helping! Where is the man I saw in those videos? That man would not forsake others so easily."
Jaune was just making his way past her when she had asked the question and he abruptly stopped. Low was his growl, "You want to know what happened to him?" and sudden was his anger, deep snarl pulling at the corners of his lips when he whirled on the unsuspecting teacher. "He's gone! Dead! The man you watched in those holo-vids died a long time ago along with his wife, his friends, and his family because he was too young and too stupid to do otherwise. He looked her straight in the eyes and whispered, "You'll find that he and I are years—years—different."
["Jaune."]
Winter Schnee's reprimanding tone instantly doused the flames of his unexpected anger, the emotional whiplash of which left him lost for words. He didn't even notice how he'd come to loom over the deputy headmistress as she took the back foot. "I- Apologies, professor," he said stepping away from her, "I don't know what came over me."
From wary to worry, her eyes softened seeing the lost look on his face. He may no longer be her student but Glynda still couldn't help but feel concerned for his well being, "Mr Arc, when was the last time that you slept?" she asked, noticing the dark circles under his eyes.
Huh, not since getting shot he guessed. That was, what? Two days ago? Three?
He did not answer, and Glynda took that as a sign to make a call. After dialling, her phone rang a couple of times, and not soon enough, professor Peter Port's exuberantly loud voice greeted her on the other end.
"Why, Ms Goodwitch! To what do I owe the-"
"—Hello Peter. Good news. It looks like your arthritis has miraculously disappeared."
"I-It has?" His exuberance died down considerably after hearing that.
"Yes. So could you please take Mr Arc's 4:30 class so that he could rest?"
"Oh! Well-um, about that- you see," Glynda rolled her eyes as his diction took on that stutter that made it obvious that he was thinking of an excuse. "I-uuuh, I am… I- Oh!" the sound of paper tearing could be heard on Port's end, "I am currently out of- Krshk- Can't hear you- Krshk- Entering a tunnel- I'm going towards the light. Mother? Mother, is that you? Krshhhk-"
Glynda could feel a migraine coming on and again had to massage the bridge of her nose just to stave it off. Why must she be surrounded by such man-children? "Do this for me, Peter, and you shall have my cafeteria pudding for the next two weeks," she cut to the chase.
Immediately, Peter ceased his shenanigans, "The chocolate ones, if you please, not the- ahem! Well, of course! Why, it'll be my pleasure, Ms Goodwitch! Be there in a jiff!"
"Thank you, Peter."
"Anytime, my dear! After all, A gentleman such as myself would never refuse a lady-"
[—Beep.]
Jaune was surprised, "You didn't have to do that."
"He would've rambled on if I hadn't."
"No, I mean-"
"—I know what you meant, Mr Arc," she smiled indulgently at the boy, "but you do need the rest. Clearly."
Guilty, Jaune's gaze fell to his boots. "Sorry."
"Walk with me," she had asked but sounded less like a question and more of a command. It was good that he followed; she really didn't want to bring her crop out to persuade him. As it were, they began walking back to Beacon.
After a while of quiet trudging, Glynda spoke, "I understand that you and your team have had a bit of a falling out. Is that why you can't bring yourself to teach? Guilt, perhaps?" she broached the topic with all the grace and finesse of Magnhld wielded by a Nora riding on three shots of espresso.
Predictably, he did not answer.
"Also, you've been staying at the teacher's lounge instead of your dorm for the past three days."
Again, he chose not to answer. Glynda rolled her eyes at his stubbornness.
"Tell me, do you plan on living in the teacher's lounge?"
"Look, it's not that easy, okay?" he bit out. "During classes, they won't even so much as look in my general direction. They just sit there, do their seatwork then leave once the bell rang. I messed up my cover story, and now they won't even talk to me."
"Mmm, transcripts aside, you always were an honest boy, Mr Arc," She nodded in understanding. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason why they're not speaking to you is because they want you to speak to them first? Yet here you are avoiding your friends."
"What?! They're the ones avoiding me!" Gesturing to himself, he placed his hand on his chest.
"And are they the ones I found brooding inside the Emerald Forest all day?"
That shut him up.
"Jaune, I won't tell you how to handle your team, but this can't go on. They need their leader, and your students need their teacher. Talk. To. Them."
"And say what? Everything that's worth telling is either restricted or classified."
"Not everything," Glynda argued.
Silence befell the two professors as Jaune contemplated what else he could say. But then he realized, why even? Why was he making up all these excuses? Did he not want to make things right with his team? With his friends? These questions baffled even himself. Ugh, his head was starting to hurt again.
"You are avoiding them, Jaune," Glynda accurately concluded, "whatever for, I do not know."
"You know I have more important things to worry about," Jaune stubbornly refused to admit, all the while, internally cringing. Oh man, was he gonna hear it from WNTR after this.
"Oh, like lazing about in the grass?!" Steepling her fingers over her nose, Glynda stopped walking to calm herself down. She did not mean to shout, but Wolf wasn't the only one who's stressed. Ever since her talk with the headmaster, Glynda realized how vital it was for all of them to cooperate, and this was the exact opposite of cooperation.
His name came out a tired sigh, "Mr Arc… I know how little it is of your trust you have come to place in us, and I do not blame you. We have failed you once before, and after all you've been through," she then turned to regard him, and all Jaune could see on her face was sympathy, "I understand why you are restless."
Jaune unclenched his fists he did not know were clenched in the first place as his entire frame sagged at the sobering acknowledgement.
"But please trust me when I say that the headmaster is doing everything that he is capable of. In fact, I did not track you down just to nag your ear off; I'm here to tell you that you get your wish," she managed to snark before pausing to give him a smile. "You will have your audience with all the headmasters of Remnant."
His entire countenance seemed to brighten when he was told that. For what felt like the longest time, Jaune's spirits lifted. Finally… FINALLY! Progress.
"But, not until the end of the semester." She raised her hand to stop him before he could interrupt her, "Yes, that is the soonest that they'd arrive. No, there is nothing you could do about it." Jaune's face fell, and Glynda, try as she might, could not ignore the sad kicked-puppy look he was sporting. "Look, let us handle preparations, Mr Arc. I promise to let you know how things are going," she assured him.
"Thank you, Glynda," Jaune nodded at her, and he was grateful, truly. Just when he was starting to think that things were going nowhere, this was exactly what he needed to hear.
She scoffed, "What are you thanking me for, professor? You think this is for free? No. Start thanking me by fixing your team, and once you're done doing that, why not start teaching those classes I assigned to you?" She hmphed and smacked his arm, "Good day, Mr Wolf."
With that, Glynda left a wide-eyed and frozen Jaune Arc to stew over his juvenile dilemma. To flee or not to flee, his face seemed to say.
["More important things to worry about, eh? And here I was feeling guilty for what I said earlier. You owe me a scrubbing after this, Jaune."]
"…Right."
~ • ~
Weiss was not a happy camper, which was weird because, not too long ago, she actually looked excited for Grimm Studies. As soon as they entered class, however, Ruby watched how that same excitement slow-mo faceplanted itself onto reality then valiantly tried to drag herself up only to grieve the ruination of her pretty little Sunday dress that was now smudged with disappointment.
Huh, Ruby wondered why.
"And as I stood there in nothing but my UNDERWEAR, the rest of the Grimm hoard fled at the mere sight of me and the carnage I had wrought with just my ONE slipper! Haha! I dare not imagine what damage I could have done if I were wearing shoes. Good show. Good show, I say!"
That had been the straw that broke the Ursa's back for her partner it would seem when she bolted upright all of a sudden from her seat with her hand held high over her head.
"Yes, Ms Schnee, you have a question for me?" He chuckled, delighted by her enthusiasm.
"Professor Port, if I may ask, where is Mr Wolf?"
Port summarily deflated. "Right… Mr Wolf, he- well," letting out a loud cough, the professor announced to the whole class, "Mr Wolf isn't feeling very well today and needs his rest. But not to worry! Your dear old professor Port (the actual teacher of this class)," he added under his breath, "has returned! Rest assured, you are all in good hands."
Her partner took no solace in that at all if the mumbled, "Just when I was starting to learn something from this class," was anything to go by. With a huff, she sat dejectedly back down and buckled herself in for a fun and exciting, mind-numbing, and not to forget, coma-inducing, hour and fifteen tour de tertiary huntress éducation. Destination: Snores'ville. Population: this class.
Ruby looked to the side at team JNPR sans the "J" and saw worried expressions on their faces at the news. They might not have been on the best of terms with their leader right now, but it was clear that they still cared about him a lot.
They all did.
Ugh! It was so dumb! Why couldn't they just talk to him? It's not like there was some kind of forcefield or whatever stopping them from communicating! It frustrated Ruby to no end at how fractured they, and to a small extent, her own team had become.
Yang, Weiss, and Blake not being so close to Jaune was both a curse and blessing in this regard. She could only imagine what it would have been like for team RWBY if they were all as close to him as Nora was, or Pyrrha, or even… herself.
It was just so dumb! So, sooo dumb! But at the same time, Ruby understood why they would hesitate. She wasn't so sure about Pyrrha, but there was no devaluing Nora's fears and hurts, and then there was Ren who was just looking out for his oldest friend.
Everything was so messed up now.
Oh, how Ruby wished to go back to the way things were before; to a time when things were simpler; to a time when they could all just hang out; to a time when "friend" still meant friend. And most of all, to a time when Jaune Arc didn't get it in his big dumb dummy head to ask her out on what was essentially a date and giving her anxiety complete with an upset stomach!
'Ahahahaaaaarrrgh!'
The date! That darned date! She was remembering it again. Oh, what was a Rose to do?! Ruby's head sunk lower behind her folded arms when the shocking memory of Jaune asking her out this weekend squeezed itself into her tired brain yet again. Poor brain.
Wait a minute. Weekend... Weekend?
'What day is it today? Thursday, right?' A quick glance at her scroll made her gasp, 'What? Friday?!'
Already?!
She was not prepared!
She sat bolt upright so suddenly it made Yang beside her jump, "You okay there, Rubes?"
"YES!" Her loud declaration garnered a few annoyed looks from her classmates when she accidentally woke them up from their afternoon nap, aka: Port's class. Ruby was decent enough to blush. "W-Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well for starters, you look just about ready to rose-nado on out of here," Blake supplied.
"I'm quite ready to rose-nado on out of this- this… zoo myself," Weiss harumphed. "Mr Wolf is way more competent than this! Oh, and just when he was about to teach us about Nevermores too! Their eating habits, migration patterns, how to trap and eliminate them without having to use our aura?! All that wonderful, wonderful information, and now," her partner let out the saddest sigh Ruby has ever heard as if she were just told Dustmas got cancelled this year, "now we're back to the underwear-clad adventures of professor Port."
"I don't blame you, Ruby," Weiss sympathized, "for once, I too am contemplating the merits of this 'sneaking out' business."
A brow rose at the heiress. "For serious?" Yang asked with a healthy helping of scepticism.
"Quite."
"Woah," facing forwards again, Yang slowly nodded her head in approval, "hooky—never would have pegged you for the rebellious sort."
Weiss actually smiled at the acknowledgement of her more infamous side."Yes, well, even I could be quite rogue when I want to be," the heiress boasted.
"I'll say. That must be some crush you got there, Weiss, if it made even a Schnee want to skip class."
"Indee-iiieee- What?!" Weiss half gasped, half screeched, all flustered.
Thank goodness that they've taken to sitting in the back of the class ever since Jaune started teaching. They may have been whispering but no way was no one missing how red Weiss was turning, or how her sister began to vibrate with barely restrained mirth. Ruby groaned at the impending exchange.
"So you're into teachers, eh? I get that, you being a teacher's pet and all. I see you, Weiss. I see you."
"Excuse me! I do not have a crush on Jau- Mr Wolf! That would be highly inappropriate. I just so happen to appreciate his teaching style, is all." Thinking that she had stated her case well enough, Weiss haughtily turned her nose up at the brawler. If Yang Xiao Long, however, was ever good for anything that wasn't kicking butt and taking names, it was teasing little sisters.
Ruby would attest.
"Teaching style? Oh, you mean passionate, intense, and dominating? Ulala! Kinky, Weiss! King-to-the-kay! And here I thought that Jaune was the sub," Yang jokingly elbowed an utterly horrified Schnee heiress, "A-wink!"
Weiss… short-circuited. There was no better word to describe her sputtering.
Yet that did not stop Yang's unrelenting barrage. "Bet'cha that ain't the only thing you've been appreciating lately, isn't that right, Ms Schnee? Don't think I don't catch you staring when he's got his back turned writing on that there board," Yang snickered.
"Wh-wh-what?! Th-that's not- How dare y- It's not like- To even insinuate that I would- Why I never!"
"Yeah, I'd like to buy a vowel please."
"You are a cad, Yang Xiao Long! A cad, a bounder, a-and a- uh… a pervert!"
"Woah, chill, Weisscream! It's just a-"
By then, Ruby just tuned them out. At the rate they were going, it was going to be a while, and knowing her luck, professor Port wouldn't even notice them and put a stop to their stupidness. Ruby sighed. 'If only Jaune were here…'
Jaune…
…
THE DATE!
Not prepared!
'Nooooo…'
"Ruby?"
"Nooooo…"
'Well, if that isn't disconcerting,' Blake thought as she observed the smaller girl.
Looking behind her leader, she could still see both their partners in the middle of… whatever it was they were in the middle of and failed to notice their distraught compatriot. It looked like she had no choice but to be the concerned teammate in this scenario.
"Ruby, what's wrong?" She asked again, and this time, Ruby looked at her. Eyes hesitant and unsure, a beat of silence passed between the two before Ruby finally gathered up the courage to speak her mind.
Blake immediately regretted ever asking.
Why did she have to be the good teammate anyway? She was supposed to be the broody one!
"Blake… you've gone on dates, right?"
"I-" Out of all the questions she could have asked her, the secret-Faunus had not expected that one. "I… have."
Ruby noticeably perked up but quickly hid her excitement under the guise of nonchalance. Keeping her voice low so as to not alert her sister, she asked innocently enough, "Sooooo, uh, what does one do on dates exactly?"
Blake inwardly groaned. This seriously wasn't something she was comfortable talking about, not with her fifteen-year-old leader, and especially not while her punch-happy sister was sitting right next to her. Nevermind the fact Blake's limited experience with dating amounted to nothing more than a mole hill's stretch of deadly missions with her old partner. She didn't even think her and Ruby were reading from the same dictionary when 'date' was the word.
But she had to try, right? That's what good teammates did, after all. Damn it.
"W-Well, I hear that going to the movies is… nice."
"The movies?!" Ruby reddened. "B-B-But isn't that where couples, like…" Ruby cupped a hand over her mouth to whisper even softer, "make out?"
Couples? Make out?! What on Remnant?! Where did that come from? In fact, where was all this coming from to begin with? "Ruby, did-" Blake's eyes flickered cautiously towards her partner and was relieved to see her still occupied, "did someone ask you out?"
Ruby reeled. "Wha- no!" she tittered nervously. "That's crazy talk! Of course Jaune didn't ask me out! That'd be… weird, hehe."
Whoops, "Jaune?"
Ruby's already large eyes widened even further. "Did I say Jaune? I meant- uh, John! Yiiieah."
"Ruby," she said her name, tone clearly unconvinced.
And just like that, Ruby's whole charade crumpled like a poorly stacked house of cards. "Alright, fine!" she whispered harshly, "You've found me out! You're leader's having an illicit affair with her professor! I'm filth! FILTH! Nooooo…"
If she had been anyone else, or more specifically, if she had been Yang, she knew exactly how her partner would have reacted to that: with pain, fire, and lots and lots of shouting. Blake, thankfully, was a very level headed young woman. A level headed young woman who had a penchant for less than reputable romance novels that, more often than not, featured forbidden love. Love forbidden in ways not unlike those trashy student x teacher fanfics she liked to indulge herself in on her scroll from time to time. This with Ruby seemed deliciously familiar. 'Hmm, interesting.
Blakes pervy senses tingled.
"Sooo… you and Jaune?"
"Help meeeee... And please don't tell Yang!"
"Please don't tell Yang what?" said sister butted in and making Ruby yelp.
"Nothing!"
Yang held her chin to exaggeratedly scrutinize her baby sister. It worked in making her squirm, and that was her tell. Yang knew her sister was hiding something. "Mm, I'm thinkin', no, it's not nothing," Yang grinned mercilessly. "Spill."
"No!" Ruby didn't even try and deny the fact that she was indeed hiding something. Blake wanted to facepalm herself at how easy the little redhead was sometimes.
"I'm going to find out either way, little sis. Just tell me now and spare yourself the noogie."
Ruby covered her head in fear, "No! Please, mercy!"
"Cut it out, Yang. Ruby just didn't want you to know that she'd already eaten those granola cookies, you've been hiding," Blake came to her rescue.
Ruby cast a bewildered look at Blake, "I did?" and again, the Faunus wanted to facepalm herself, her leader too while she was at it just so she'd learn not to be so obvious. "Oh! I did. I totally, totally did," she laughed uncomfortably, "Sorry, Yang."
"Ruby, how could you?! Those were my workout cookies, you monster!"
"Oh, leave her be! You eat enough as it is," Weiss defended her partner.
"Woah! Okay, what the heck does that supposed to mean?!"
And so the fire and ice saga carried forthwith until the bell rang—both a blessing and a curse for the blushing reaper.
Ruby could not have speed-walked out of that place faster than she did.
Strategically placing herself within the blind spot near the door, Ruby waited for her sister and partner, who were still bickering, to pass before tapping her ebon-haired teammate on the shoulder. Blake didn't even flinch; simply took her by the arm and dragged her towards a secluded spot down the hall.
All clear. Thank goodness. Ruby breathed out a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Blake! I owe you one."
"You do owe me one, Ruby; I just lied to my partner back there," Blake guilt-tripped, "Now, as payment…"
Ruby audibly gulped.
"You will tell me how your date goes with the good professor."
Wait, huh? That's it? A strange clause to have in a bargain, but nothing Ruby won't bend over backwards for to buy Blake's silence and much-needed assistance. Reminded again of her date, Ruby's blush burned anew. "So you'll help me?" She asked hopefully.
"Disclaimer: don't expect too much, but yeah. I'll help. So when is this date exactly?"
"Tomorrow." Her timid smile pulled her lips to the side.
"Of course, it is."
~ • ~
"You saw that, right?"
"Saw what- no, wait. Don't change the subject! You still haven't apologized for your boorish behaviour back at Mr Wolf's class!"
"Uuuh, it's professor Port's class, Weiss," snickering, Yang reminded her pouty friend, and she instantly coloured (colour red, to be more precise).
"R-Right. Anyway, apologize!"
"Okay, okay!" Yang threw her hands up placatingly before mumbling under her breath, "Sheesh, just 'cuz you're in denial doesn't mean you have to be so pissy about it."
"What was that?"
"I said, I'm sorry for making fun of you back at Mr Wolf's- whoopsie!" She daintily covered her lips with the tips of her fingers when she accidentally on purpose blurted out "Wolf" when she obviously meant to say "Port". Obviously. "Professor Port's class, I mean. Slip of the tongue there. You get it, right, Weisscream?"
Weisscream growled.
Hm, what was that? Wicked grin? Why not at all. Yang was just a really upbeat gal like that, smiling for no damn reason. Nope. No damn reason at all. Hum-dee-do.
"One day, Xiao Long, one day, you will get yours."
"Yeah, h'whatever," she carelessly waved. "Anyway! Class. Cookies. Ruby. Did you see?"
Incorrigible. Weiss could only shake her head at her impossible teammate. "See what?" she breathed out in frustration.
"Ruby!" she exclaimed, paused, then thought to add, "and Blake too, now that I think about it."
"What about Ruby and Blake?" Weiss asked, the heiress getting impatient and curious.
"They just lied to me!"
"You will start being more specific, Yang, or else I won't stop asking 'what'," Weiss frowned.
"About her eating my cookies."
Tone sceptical, "You think, Ruby, your sister who eats cookies for breakfast, lied about eating cookies?"
"No, you see, Blake said that, but I know my sister, and if there's one cookie Ruby hates, it's granola! She always said that granola tastes like cardboard."
"And the point you are trying to make is?"
"Their hiding something, Weiss!" Yang slapped her palm with the back of her fingers thrice as if the action would help get her message across, "I can feel it in my bones." Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Weiss stopped walking in favour of crossing her arms, "And why is that any of your business? Weren't you the one who agreed that it's okay for family to keep secrets? This suspicion contradicts that, you know."
"It doesn't," Yang defensively argued. "Alright, yeah, I said that, but I didn't say it's not okay for responsible big sisters such as myself to snoop arou-I mean, worry about their baby sister. Catch my drift?"
"I can say with absolute confidence that, no, I do not."
Yang scoffed, "If you were a big sister, you would."
"I am," Weiss flatly intoned.
Yang paid her no heed and exclaimed boisterously instead, "It's up to us, Weiss, to save this team! Secrets would only tear us apart!"
"You just want to spy on your sister!"
"Am not! This is very serious. I mean, just look at how messed up JNPR is right now."
Well, that brought the mood down with a quickness. Weiss glowered at her teammate, and the girl rightfully cringed.
"Too soon?" Yang asked as she scratched the back of her head.
The angry frown on Weiss's face became troubled, "It disturbs me greatly seeing them the way they are."
"Yeah..." Yang hummed thoughtfully, "I don't think I've ever seen Nora so quiet. It's kinda weird."
"You mean tragic," Weiss squinted at her friend in disbelief.
"Yeah, that too."
Now Weiss would readily-… Okay so, maybe not readily—willingly admit that, when it came to compassion, she wasn't exactly the warmest of confidants. However, even she wasn't as unfeeling as Yang was being just now. Quite honestly, she felt appalled by the level of brazenness her teammate was displaying and already had the appropriate reprimand sitting on the tip of her tongue.
That was, of course, when another mop of blonde hair caught the corner of her eye. "Mr Wolf!" she exclaimed before she could catch herself.
Said boy turned to her, and when his gaze met hers, Weiss couldn't explain the giddiness she felt. "Oh hey, Weiss. Yang. What's up?" he asked as they caught up to him
"N-Nothing much, professor. Hehe."
Goodness, did she stutter again? And was that a giggle?! What was with her today? And why were her cheeks hurting? Oh, that's right; she was smiling. Why was it so wide though?
"Weiss, come on. I told you to only call me that during class," he chuckled.
"R-Right. Sorry, Mr W-."
"—Hey, teach, what gives? Prof Port says you're not feeling too good. You sure you should be out here all by your lonesome?"
Weiss forgot about being upset at being interrupted and gasped when she remembered, "That's' right! You really should be resting, Mr Wolf."
"Ah, that," his nose scrunched up and his face began to sport a small frown, "it's nothing. I was just, uh, doing my lesson plan last night. Didn't get much sleep. Kept feeling that it just wasn't good enough. Know what I mean?"
"I do!" Weiss beamed when she couldn't help but relate.
Wow, not even a week into his teaching career and already he was working so hard! The Schnee inside her couldn't help but admire his dedication. To think, someone her age was already this far along at being a huntsman that he would feel it his responsibility to teach what he knew at the expense of his own sleep; Weiss was thoroughly impressed!
Health was just as important, however, and it really wouldn't do for her favourite professor to work himself into a fever. No, that wouldn't do at all! "But that's all the more reason to rest then!" Weiss insisted, only cementing the schoolgirl crush theory Yang had about the heiress.
The brawler rolled her eyes and smirked. 'Called it.'
"Yeah, I will. I just need to do something first."
Weiss was not having it. When she wanted something, the girl was darn near tenacious; Yang'll give her that.
"If you must insist on staying up then at least allow Yang and myself to accompany you in whatever it is you must do."
"What?" Yang bwuh-ed
"Weiss, you really don't have to do that."
"Yeah, Weiss, we really don't have to do that," Yang said as she grit her teeth. Pulling the heiress away, harshly she whispered, "I did not sign up for this! Have you forgotten that I have a sister to spy on?"
"Aha! So you admit it!"
"Yeah, yeah. Just don't drag me into your sad attempts at asking our professor out."
"Whaaat?" Weiss let out a nervous laugh, "Pffft, no, I'm not-"
She did not let Weiss finish her feeble protests. "—Weiss, I know you honestly believe that you're being subtle about this, but you're really, really not," Yang gave the hopeless girl's shoulder a sympathetic pat, "but don't let that stop you. By all means, more power to ya, sister! But I, in good conscience, simply refuse to be your wingman- woman(?)- person." Yang shook her head, "Don't want him falling for the wrong girl, am I right?" and poked her in the rib. "Adios, muchacha."
After doing a cheeky salute, Yang began walking away, and Weiss panicked. "Yang? Yang! Ooo, wait one moment, professor. I just- YANG!" She chased after the taller, long-legged girl.
Weiss, huffing and puffing, managed to catch up to her blonde compatriot. Her hand reached out for the other girl's arm and spun her around. "Yang [huff], come on [gasp], don't you want to [wheeze] do a good deed?"
"Do a Good deed? Good deed? You were literally just fishing to go out with that guy! If that's what you call a good deed then I've done plenty already. Thank you very much."
Weiss bit her lip before finally admitting, "Alright, fine. I may have a, uh… tiny- tiiiny crush on Jaune, but I am honestly worried about him. If he doesn't take care of himself then that just means more classes with professor Port!"
"So far, I'm not seeing a downside to this."
"No, don't you see?! I can't, I just can't with professor Port! Not anymore; not after Jaune showed us what Grimm studies were really supposed to be like. Please, Yang! Come with me and I'll…" she paused to think of a good bribe, "I'll help you spy on Ruby!"
Yang raised a brow, cocked her hip, and crossed her arms. "Go on."
"Go on? What more do you wa- ugh! I could- I'll help you with that essay Oobleck wants done this weekend."
"Uhuh. Uhuh. And?" Yang asked as she lazily inspected her nails.
"You are really pushing it, Yang."
"Well, I guess you don't need a wingman-woman-person-thing then." Yang abruptly turned and continued on her way.
"I'll sing for you!"
Yang didn't miss a beat. "I burn - by Casey Lee Williams, and you got yourself a deal, little missy!"
"I burn? From that trash band you like to listen to? Awww, but that song is so… growly. It'll hurt my vocal cords," Weiss complained whilst rubbing her throat. Yang herself began to growl. "Then again, I could use a little variety. No more opera pieces for me! I burn, it is." Presenting her hand, Yang took and shook it. "Come on, let's get back to the professor." Weiss turned and excitedly jogged back to where Jaune was.
Yang rolled her eyes. "Hopeless."
~ • ~
"Hopeless! It's hopeless, Blake! Give me a hundred Ursi, I'll take'm on no problem! But this- this?! This is torture! Oh, why have you forsaken me, dark-haired raven? Why? Whyyy?!" the leader of the greatest team to have ever graced Beacon cried out in mortal affliction!
"Ruby… their just pants."
"Evil is what they are! How can you even move in these?! All tight and restricting. What's wrong with my combat skirt anyways?" Ruby whined pitifully.
"Nothing is wrong with your combat skirt," Blake reassured her. "It's just that you wear them. every. single. day. Does your closet not have anything in it besides red battle dresses?"
Ruby made an indignant noise, "Of course it does!"
"Besides your pyjamas."
Her mouth opened then closed when nothing came out if it. Less indignant and more embarrassed, Ruby admitted, "…No." But then indignant again, she defended, "What? I came to Beacon to learn how to be a huntress, not- not…"
"Date?"
"Exactly! Combat skirts are all I need, stylish and bulletproof, perfect for every occasion!"
"And yet here you are." Blake wanted to grin at Ruby's less than ideal yet amusing predicament, but that would've been mean.
That's why she did.
"You're enjoying this," Ruby glowered.
"I would be lying if I said I wasn't, but that's besides the point. Do you or do you not want to impress the soldier-man who asked you out?"
Did she? "I-" Ruby hesitated to answer or altogether just didn't know what to say. How could she, after all, when she still wasn't even done wrapping her head around the fact that she was going out with Jaune freakin' Arc?! Ruby moaned miserably, "He wasn't supposed to ask me out! He was supposed to- I don't know! But it sure as heck wasn't him asking me out, doggone it!"
"Then why did you say yes when you could have just turned him down?"
Why? Ruby looked at herself in the full-length mirror they had in their room and let out a sad sigh, "I… I just wanted to know if he was still my friend."
"Wait a minute. Friend? This is a friend date?"
Ruby didn't know why, but the ravennette sounded shocked for some reason like she just got scammed or something. Weird. Anyway, what's a friend date? "That's a thing?"
"Yes, Ruby, it's a thing," Blake confirmed as she facepalmed herself with that same odd rationale Ruby was still not privy to. Was Blake okay? "I guess you won't be needing those pants anymore. Your dress should do just fine."
Again, Ruby looked at herself in the mirror, and to her infinite discombobulation, thought twice. Why? She honestly couldn't say. It was simple, right? Battle dresses were cool, and pants were icky. The choice should've been obvious… but, "Do you think I look okay in these pants?"
Blake rose a curious brow at her, "Yes."
"Do you think… Jaune will think I look okay in these pants?" She asked again but more shyly while playing with an errant lock of her red hair.
After a couple of surprised blinks and backwards canting of her neck, a grin slowly began to spread over Blake's face. Why was she grinning?! Mysterious Blake was mysterious.
"Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?"
"Right," she gave Blake a solid nod then punched her fist into her palm, "we beat it out of him."
The Faunus didn't know what unsettled her more: Ruby's morbid joke, or the fact that the joke didn't sound like a joke at all. "What?! No, don't beat it out of him! Who even does that?"
"Yang."
"…Figures..." It was sad how that didn't even surprise her in the least. "No, Ruby, don't beat up Jaune. Just wear the pants, okay? I'm sure he'll like them."
"Whuuut? I'm not wearing them for Jaune!" Ruby belted out a laugh that was so forced Blake actually cringed at the way it hurt her delicate little cat ears, "Silly, Blake. No, I just really like these pants; they're comfy."
"You literally just said that they were tight and constricting."
"Oh, I can't change my mind?!" she defensively inquisitioned.
'Awww.' The all-encompassing urge to smile was strong and to cover her mouth with a fist as she adopted a thinking pose was all Blake could do to resist. This date she got roped into may not have been the passionate rendezvous the closet romantic had been hoping for, but it could be! And judging by the way Ruby roamed a critical eye over her reflection, clearly, she wasn't the only one hoping that it was.
Even if Ruby refused to admit it.
"Teehee!" She just teheed at the thought! This was getting out of hand. 'Get a grip, Blake! Eye on the ball. You are a hardcore assassin, a hardcore assassin trying to help her friend get with her professor. Got it? Right.'
A damning waif of a titter threatened to escape her again, but Blake would not be debased to a heart-eyed schoolgirl. She was better than that. She was here to look out for her friend and leader; that was first and foremost.
"Speaking of changing your mind, have you thought this through?"
"Thought what through?'
Though the secret Faunus may have been tickled pink by the prospect of forbidden love between teacher and student, Blake would not be Blake if she weren't at least a little bit suspicious about the whole thing. "You 'hanging' out with Jaune; with the way things are, are you sure it's smart to be seen with him?"
"Probably not," Ruby admitted, but after a minute pause, promised more surely, "but I still want him back. His team needs him. So if a date's the way to go about it then a date's what's going to happen."
'Squiiieeeee-no! Focus, Blake! You will not succumb!' the rational part of Blake scolded her.
'But it's sooooo romantic!' the more sentimental part of her cooed. 'Disgraced soldier seeking redemption and the forgiveness of his estranged student; heartbroken girl just wants him back but is uncertain of his mysterious past. Eee!'
'That's- No, you're right, that is good. SQUIIIEEE!' even the rational part of her couldn't help but agree.
But no, she could not lose it, not just yet. There were still questions that needed asking; concerns that had to be put to bed. "But you're sure you want a friend like that, someone who hides her true self?" she asked unintentionally for her own peace of mind and didn't even notice how she had replaced "his" with "her".
"I'm… not sure, but one thing I am sure of is that no way is Jaune faking the hurt he's been feeling. I've seen the way he looks at his team. Someone who looks that sad deserves a chance to explain at least."
Blake was pensive of what her answer might be, but she still had to ask, "And if he can't? Won't?"
"He will!" Ruby raised her voice and didn't even notice, simply refusing to acknowledge the possibility of such a thing. Then in the quietest voice that Blake was sure she wasn't meant to hear, she whispered, "He has to. I… I don't want to lose you, Jaune… You're my best friend."
Heartstrings were pulled, and chills were barely held at bay. In that moment, Blake determined to see this through no matter the outcome. And it wasn't just because she totally shipped Jaune and Ruby together now, no. This was also sort of her way of redeeming herself, because if Ruby could accept Jaune and all his secrets, then maybe there was hope for her yet.
After all… her secrets were way worse.
"You're right. He will. So why don't we find you a top to go with those pants? I'm sure I have something in here that should work."
Ruby half-heartedly raised her fist and mumbled "yay".
~ • ~
The kitchens, why were they in the kitchens?
"Ummm, Mr Wolf-"
"—Weiss, what did I say?"
"Oh, right! Sorry... Jaune. So, what exactly are we going to do here in the kitchens?"
Jaune grinned, "Isn't it obvious? Combat training."
"Really?" ever the eager student, Weiss's eyes widened in excitement.
"No, Weiss, not really," Jaune chuckled and she immediately deflated. "Come on, we're in a kitchen, what did you think we were gonna do in here besides cook? Well, bake, in my case."
"Bake? You know how to bake?" Yang asked rather impertinently.
"Hey, what's with the tone? For your information, I'm a great baker."
"Uhuh, okay. And you're bakiiing, why again?" was the obvious question.
An uncertain and forlorn look settled over his face before deciding to tell them, "It's for a date."
"A date?" Weiss tried not to sound too apprehensive when she had asked. Tried.
"Yeah. For making things right," Jaune clarified and need not say more.
Weiss released the breath she didn't realize she was holding before sharing an uneasy look with Yang. It wasn't hard to figure out what he was talking about, the whole ordeal with his team still fresh on their minds. So that was what he meant by date. It was heartening, at least, to know that he was doing something about it.
"But baking though?" Yang asked again, still not buying it.
"Hey, you'd be surprised what a good casserole could do." Jaune grinned easily at what Weiss assumed was an inside joke. He then began moving about, gathering cooking utensils as he went: bowls, whisks, a baking sheet, and some parchment paper, to name a few. "Okey-dokey, what am I gonna need?" he asked himself out loud then, after a moment to think, started spouting off ingredients in rapid-fire succession, "I'm going to need: all-purpose flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, salt, sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and of course, strawberries."
Dumbstruck, Weiss and Yang just looked at him and blinked.
"Well, what are you two standing around for? Are you gonna help me or not? Come on, slowpokes, get me those ingredients, chop-chop!" Jaune began rushing them, sounding, for all intents and purposes, like a sous-chef whipping his kitchen up into a frenzy!
His shouting got them moving in a panic, scouring the kitchen for the listed ingredients. That was just the beginning, however, because once they found all of what he needed…
The real fun began.
"Whisk it like you mean it, Yang!"
"I am!"
"You call that whisking?! Where the hell is that fire you keep bragging about? Ma grand-mère fouette plus vite que toi!"
"What the heck does that even mean?!"
"It means-" Weiss tried to translate, but was cut off.
"—What's the status on those eggs, Weiss?"
"They're… uh."
"What the hell is this?! There are shells in the bowl!"
"A-Apologies. I've never actually-"
"—Again." Jaune gave her another egg and placed himself just behind the heiress. His arms practically wrapping around her, he covered her small hands with his giant ones as he guided her through the motions of flawlessly cracking a Mistralian tamago. As his chin hovered over her left shoulder, "Like this," he professionally instructed.
Weiss had to remind herself repeatedly that he was just helping her. No big deal. He didn't mean for his breath to tickle the fine hairs of her ear, nor did he mean to make her shiver with every syllable his lips gently caressed. 'He's just helping.' Right. Helping. She best just ignore the towering presence behind her.
Easier said than done.
"Be decisive when cracking the egg or else you won't break through the membrane underneath. If you don't, then you'll have to do it with your fingers, and we don't want that now, do we?"
Do it with your fingers…
The words seemed to echo in her mind, and Weiss had to shake her head just to get it out of the gutter and back into the kitchen. She let out a shuddering breath, "I don't?"
Jaune chuckled good-naturedly, "No, Weiss, you don't. Now, remember: swift." Jaune tapped the egg against the bowl using Weiss's grip and the heiress drew in a surprised breath at the sharp sound it made. "Precise." Separating the two halves of the shell, Weiss watched how the slimy substance dribbled sensuously into the bowl with a wet plop. "And graceful." Finally, he took the empty shells from her suddenly lax fingers that tingled with an electric current and threw them into the wastebasket, "Just like you."
The unexpected compliment at the end tore an equally unexpected giggle out of her throat, and Weiss didn't mind one bit. She turned her head to see Jaune grinning boyishly at her, and all the heiress could do was grin goofily right back, blushing the whole while at his closeness.
"Easy right?"
"Yeah," she said breathlessly, "easy."
"Great! Now, you keep doing that while I go heat up the oven, 'kay? Oh, and don't forget to fish out the eggshells in there. Nobody likes crunchy cookies. Soft and moist are always better."
Soft… Moist…
"They definitely are," she concurred albeit deliriously in that very same tone, dreamy with a side of smitten.
Once Jaune had walked off to the far end of the kitchen where the ovens were, a voice belonging to someone Weiss had forgotten was even there made her jump when she spoke, "You know what I find ironic? It's ironic how you wouldn't even give him the time of day back when he was actually asking you out, and now that he isn't even trying, you're all goo-goo eyes over the guy."
"Am not!"
"You're kidding right?" Yang was genuinely surprised that she would even deny it. Adopting an over the top damsel in distress persona, Yang paraphrased while batting her eyelashes, "Oh, professor, little ole me don't know how to crack no eggs! Can you…" pause for effect, "show me reeeeeal nice like?" pouty face.
"I do not, at all, sound like that! Who even is this person?"
"You!"
"You make me sound like a tart!"
"It's s'cuz you are! That time he was behind you, the way you were making that face, I thought you were about to faint!"
"Oh, that is just ridiculous. What face?" Weiss refused to believe the nonsense the crazy, blonde girl was spewing.
"The I-just-blew-my-load face."
"Yang!"
"Improper. Yes, yes, I know. Look, just… be careful, okay? It's clear he isn't the same Jaune who's been serenading you through our door, is all I'm trying to say."
How her friend switched from teasing to genuinely concerned gave Weiss pause. "You think he's dangerous?" she asked, looking in the direction of their professor.
"Oh, he's dangerous alright," Yang confirmed without hesitation, but also did not think twice to add, "but not to us, I think."
The odd statement made Weiss return her attention back to the blonde. "How can you tell?" she asked, intrigued.
"Call it a gut feeling," The clever wording of such a cryptic statement would have been funny to her if it didn't entail that ruthless gut-punch Jaune gave her during their fight back at Goodwitch's. Yang rubbed her poor tum-tums to soothe the phantom pain, "but a guy that strong wouldn't have pulled his punches if he meant me any real harm. And he did."
Now she was endorsing him? Weiss was officially confused, "If that's true then why are you telling me to be careful?"
The question got Yang grinning a Cheshire cat grin, and Weiss actually leaned back when she pointed it at her. "I'm not telling you to be careful because he's dangerous, Weiss," she paused to build up suspense, "I'm telling you to be careful because this is the same dude who open-mouthed kissed my sister in front of everybody, or have you conveniently forgotten about that already?"
She did.
"I-I'm sure that that was just a simple misunderstanding," Weiss denied.
"Oh sure. Guy wakes up in the middle of the night, comes to our doorstep, knocks, and as soon as Ruby answers, BABOOM! Got milk?"
"That could have been anyone!"
"Are you honestly telling me that if Blake had answered the door Jaune would have kissed her?"
Jaune and Blake. Just the thought of the two being remotely romantic with each other had the heiress reassessing her previous statement. Yang was making too many valid points; Weiss had to switch it up and so decided to go with the tried and true catch-all refutation, "I am quite sure that whatever happened that night has a completely valid and logical explanation. We just don't know it."
"Okay, I'll give you that, but wouldn't it be the funniest thing if all this baking was for Ruby this whole time?" Yang snickered.
"Hilarious," Weiss deadpanned, clearly unamused.
Ignoring her stick-in-the-mud teammate, Yang kept going, "In fact, if I didn't know any better, with all these ingredients he asked us to get, I'd say he was making-" but then stopped mid-sentence.
The way Yang's eyes widened for no apparent reason unnerved her slightly, and Weiss was just about to ask her what was wrong when the brawler began to mumble.
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute... Cookie batter… cinnamon… strawberries. He's not making what I think he's making... is he?"
"Yang, are you o-" Yang bolted out of the kitchen unexpectedly before she got to finish her question.
"Hey, you guys ready to- where'd Yang go?"
Weiss could only shrug.
"Anyway. Ready to make some snickerdoodles?"
~ • ~
Snickerdoodles! The guy was making strawberry snickerdoodles! That was Ruby's absolute favourite cookie! When Yang realized this, a pit seemed to open in the bottom of her stomach.
'A coincidence. It's just a coincidence. Ruby's not going out on a date with the teacher-slash-soldier in disguise; that's crazy! I just need to ask her, and she'll tell me I'm crazy, then all will be right in the world. I'm such a worrywart. Haha!'
Spotting their room at the end of the hall, Yang couldn't help but pick up the pace. She didn't even bother knocking anymore; once she'd reach the door, she just flung it wide open. "Ruby I need to ask you some- what the heck are you wearing?!"
Her sister blinked a couple of times before answering in the tone of a girl caught with her hand way deep in the cookie jar, "Um, pants?"
First off, I'd like to apologize for the long wait. The holidays were just crazy like you wouldn't even believe!
Anywho, I wanted to start off the new year with something light for a change; that's why you get this chapter. I also wanted to write something fun so that I won't burn myself out writing serious stuff all of the gosh darn time. Plot is still moving along (albeit slowly. Yes, I know I suck at pacing. I have a condition, alright?!). This chapter was more for establishing characters if anything else.
Thirsty Weiss, shippy Blake, and overprotective Yang got me chuckling real nice. I always liked the RWBY Chibi version of Blake; a little bit of that seeped into here just to give her character a bit more personality.
Welp, That's all for now. Here's hoping for a better year ahead, eh? [Looks at Capitol Hill] Yiiiiieah...
Cheers!