Reflections

by evitascarlett

A companion piece to 'Apologize'. Chronicling the lives and love story of Jim and Johanna Beckett through the years. See Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter One for more details! Cover art by LordofKavaka

19. Chapter 19 - She Will Be Loved Part 2

A/N: Thanks for your reviews!

Chapter 19 – She Will Be Loved-Part 2

"What do you wear to meet a man's grandmother?" Johanna asked Friday evening as she stood in front of her closet and surveyed the contents.

"Whose grandmother are you meeting?" Sharon asked as she sat on the foot of the bed with a glass of wine in hand and the dress she was borrowing lying next to her.

"Jim's," she answered before taking a sip of wine and then sat her glass on the dresser.

Sharon's brow rose. "He's taking you to meet his grandmother? This sounds serious."

"It isn't," she replied with a shake of her head.

Her friend rose from her place and came to stand in front of the dresser so that she could face Johanna as she continued to eye the contents of her closet. "Oh really? I was with Phil for four months before I met his grandmother, and then it was by accident."

"It's not a big deal, Sharon. Jim did some research on my grandmother Sarah and his grandmother helped him with it. She invited us to dinner; it's nothing more than that."

"Why didn't you help him research your grandmother?"

"Because I didn't know he was doing it."

"So he took it upon himself?"

"Yes."

"And you don't think that means anything?"

Johanna turned her head to look at her. "It means he cares; which I already know."

"I think it's a little more than just caring, Jo. He's done this for you without even being asked and now he's taking you to meet his grandma; not to mention the fact that you've done a babysitting stint with him and have met the rest of the family."

"I haven't met everyone," she retorted. "I haven't met his brothers."

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time."

Mere hours, Johanna thought to herself. She'd be meeting two of his brothers the next day at the picnic but she didn't think it was wise to share that tidbit with Sharon at the moment.

"Don't make a big thing out of this," Johanna told her.

Sharon scoffed. "But that's my job. I'm supposed to make a big deal out of things in your life so you'll know they're bigger than you want to believe. Besides, the two of you seem to be pretty cozy."

"Hasn't it always been 'cozy' in your way of thinking?"

Her friend smirked. "Cozier than usual."

"It's not," Johanna replied.

"Oh I think it is…especially these last few months. I mean he became your priority when his father was sick; and there was mention of him rescuing you a few times during Colleen's wedding fiasco week…and then when things went downhill with your grandfather, he stuck close to you…he's still sticking close to you."

"So?"

"So…what's really going on?"

Johanna looked at her incredulously. "Nothing; you know that."

The secretary tucked a lock of sun kissed light brown hair behind her ear and was about to comment when her gaze landed on a leather jacket hanging on a hook on the closet door. "Hey, where did you get that? It's cute," she said as she moved towards it and snagged it from the hook. "Can I borrow it?"

"No!" Johanna exclaimed; realizing what Sharon had in her hands.

"Why not?"

"Because it's mine," she stated as she pulled the jacket out of her friends grasp.

"So is that dress," Sharon remarked; pointing to the garment lying on the bed; "And you're letting me borrow it."

"You can't borrow this," she said; clutching the jacket to her protectively.

"Then where did you get it? I'll get my own if you're going to be stingy."

Johanna stammered for a moment; the truth seemed dangerous but she had to give an answer. Sharon was studying her intently, and knowing her, a story was already forming in her mind. "A friend gave it to me," she said finally.

"A friend? Do I know this friend?"

"What, you don't think I have other friends beside you?"

Her secretary laughed. "Don't even try to distract me with a nonsense statement like that. Now who gave you the jacket…it looks like a man's," she said as her eyes looked over the garment.

"So what if it is?"

A mischievous smile crossed Sharon's face. "Oh my God, it's Jim's isn't it?"

"No; it's mine."

"I'll rephrase; it was Jim's, wasn't it?"

She sighed and hung the jacket back on its hook. "Yes, okay, it was Jim's and he gave it to me. Are you happy now?"

"I'm starting to feel a little giddy," the other woman quipped; taking a sip of her wine. "So now he's not only introducing you to the family; he's giving you his clothing…and you don't think this is serious business?"

"No; I don't."

Sharon smiled. "Forgive me, Jo, but this must be done."

"What?"

"This," she said; reaching out and slapping her best friend upside her head.

"Hey," Johanna exclaimed; swatting back at her in response. "What the hell was that for?"

"It was for you acting like you're dumb. Are you sleeping with him?"

"No!" she practically yelled; snatching up her glass and taking a long sip.

"Mhmm, what did you give him in return for that jacket?"

"Not my body," Johanna replied as she moved to sit down on her bed.

"Are you sure? Because I think you might be holding out on me; you know, like when you were holding out about the kissing…and I know you've spent a couple of nights with him."

"Yeah, I have spent a few nights with him; in times of emotional turmoil."

"That's usually when sex enters the picture," Sharon remarked. "Times of turmoil bring people together."

"Yeah, in Harlequins," Johanna remarked; "And if you haven't noticed; my life isn't a Harlequin and I don't just sleep with somebody because I'm emotionally distraught and if you think he'd take advantage of a situation like that, you're crazy."

"Don't get defensive," Sharon said as she sat down beside her. "We've always talked about this stuff before, so why can't we talk about what's going on with you and Jim?"

"Because nothing's going on."

"Johanna."

She sighed at the tone of her friend's voice. She wasn't getting out of it this time. "We're not sleeping together. We kiss but that's all."

"I told you once that started it wouldn't stop."

"It doesn't happen every day."

"How often does it happen then?"

"I don't know; I don't keep track of it."

"Does it happen a lot or just once in awhile?" Sharon asked.

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On what your definition of a lot is," Johanna replied.

"If you have to ask that, then chances are he's kissing you a lot…or very close to it."

"And?"

"And…how is it?"

The lawyer laughed softy as she raked a hand through her hair; "I guess it must be pretty good, considering the fact that I keep doing it."

"Is it intense? Does it ever…almost go there?"

Johanna got up and walked to the side of the bed and sat down again, this time with her back against the pillows. "Once…it got pretty intense once. We seem to be careful about it."

"Why?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I guess we're not ready to go there."

Sharon eyed her. "Does that mean you want to go there?"

She took a sip of wine and then set her glass on the nightstand and pulled her knees up against her chest, her arms wrapping around them. "I don't know."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Sharon," she whined.

"Come on, Jo; out with it, if he made the move, would you sleep with him?"

Johanna said nothing; merely lowered her head to rest against her knees. "Come on, you can tell me," her friend prodded. "You always tell me and I always keep your secrets. Now if the opportunity was there, would you do it?"

"Yes," she muttered; seeing no way out of answering and knowing that Sharon would catch her if she lied.

"Now we're getting somewhere," the secretary responded; turning her body and sitting cross legged so she could face her friend better. "What does that tell you?"

"It tells me that there's attraction there," Johanna said as she raised her head.

"Is that all you think it is?"

"Sharon, why don't you just get to whatever it is you're driving at?"

"I think it's way more than just attraction. Everybody knows you're attracted to each other. Let's talk feelings."

"I care about him; you know that."

"How much?" Sharon questioned.

"A lot…I care about all of my friends."

"Johanna; who are you trying to lie to here, me or you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Johanna retorted.

"You know what it means. I know you care about him; everyone does…but it goes beyond the bounds of friendship, doesn't it?"

"Do we really have to do this?"

"Yeah, I think we do. Now answer the question…honestly and without all of that gift wrap of denial and standard knee jerk lying."

"What was the question?"

Sharon eyed her. "Don't make me hit you again. The question is; do your feelings for him extend beyond the realm of friendship?"

Johanna was silent for a long moment; staring intently at her denim clad knee. "Well?" Sharon prodded.

"Yes, okay. Yes, it feels like it's more than friendship…but don't go getting excited and waving around the L word because I never said that."

"I don't think I'm the one who needs to say it," her friend replied. "And really you don't need to say it either; except maybe to Jim of course. It's written all over your face every time you look at him."

"Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not true. I didn't say I loved him. I just said I have feelings for him."

Sharon laughed. "And the difference is?"

"The difference is…it's just different. I don't know how far it goes."

"Are you sure about that, or are you just afraid of it?"

"Why would I be afraid of it?"

"You tell me."

Another sigh passed through her lips. "I don't want to ruin it…and I don't know…I just don't know."

"Don't know what?" Sharon asked.

"A lot of things," she said quietly. "We never talk about being anything more than what we are."

"Have you ever thought of maybe bringing it up?"

"No!" Johanna exclaimed. "I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because…he's supposed to bring it up; that's how it's always been."

Sharon laughed. "So he's supposed to bring it up because he's the man…that kind of sounds like Naomi McKenzie logic…you know; like how you're always supposed to go to her because she's your mother."

Johanna read between the lines and gave her friend a slightly disgusted look. "Bitch."

Sharon laughed loudly; not insulted in the slightest and within seconds Johanna was laughing with her. "Okay, I get it; you want it to be his idea…maybe you need to give some incentive to move things along."

"Meaning?"

The secretary was quiet for a moment as she pondered the situation. "Meaning maybe you should invite him over for a nice home cooked meal and…"

"I've already done that," Johanna interrupted; "A few times."

"You have?"

"Yes."

"Damn it, Johanna; I knew you were holding out on me!"

She laughed. "Nothing happened…a few kisses but that's all."

Sharon sighed. "Did you wear something sexy?"

Johanna shot her an 'are you serious' look. "Of course you didn't," the other woman said. "Maybe that's the problem…wear something sexy next time."

"Like what? A bikini?"

"That would probably get his attention."

"Probably; but I think it would be a little obvious."

"Maybe you need to be obvious," Sharon replied; "Because if he can't see what I see, then he must be blind…or stupid."

"Well he is a man," Johanna laughed.

"True; very true. Okay so you've tried the dinner thing…and I know you've gone out with him…"

"Yeah, so there isn't much left with the exception of throwing myself at him and I'm not going to do that so don't even suggest it."

"Maybe you need to make him jealous."

Johanna wrinkled her nose in distaste. "I don't want to go down that road."

Sharon nodded in agreement. "You're right, we shouldn't go there; not yet anyway. Maybe you need to flirt with him more."

"Like Melanie?" she asked in disgust.

"How am I supposed to help you if you keep shooting down my ideas?"

"Maybe I should just wait and see what happens."

"Jo, how long are you going to wait? If you want to move things along, you need to put in a little more effort."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think there's much left for me to do, Sharon. Maybe he's not all that interested."

Sharon's laughter filled the room. "Yeah right; he's so not interested; that's why he kisses you, gets upset about your haircut, hovers protectively and couldn't stand it when you were seeing another man. Trust me, he's interested. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"What of it?"

"He wants you," her friend stated. "It's very obvious."

"How so?"

"It's in his eyes; they're always on you…in one way or another."

"Meaning?" Johanna asked.

"Meaning that when you wear that one black skirt, his eyes are always on your ass when your back is to him."

Johanna almost choked on her wine. "I'm sure you're exaggerating."

"Oh believe me, I'm not. I've watched him; he's very fond of the sight of you in that skirt."

She pondered that thought for a moment. "Which black skirt is it?"

"That one that looks kind of tight; you usually wear it with your red silk blouse."

The lawyer nodded. "I know which one you mean."

"You know that sky blue shirt you have, the one that's made similar to a wrap dress?"

"Yeah."

"He seems to like you in that as well…I'm sure that has to do with the plunge of the neckline."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said with a soft laugh.

"Maybe you should wear it with that black skirt…it might drive him crazy and you'll find yourself on a date…or on his desk, whichever comes first."

"Sharon!"

"What?" she laughed. "I'm just trying to help you out."

"With what? A relationship or sex?"

"Both," she remarked. "You know you want it; he wants it too that's why he looks at you the way he does. You're beautiful; you have a nice figure…use it to your advantage, use your charm. It might improve your mood."

Johanna shot her a look. "Have I been moody with you?"

"No; but you haven't been in a good mood for awhile; that's obvious enough."

"That has nothing to do with sex; it has to do with being born into a dysfunctional family." As if on cue, the phone on the nightstand rang. "That's probably one of the mental cases now."

Sharon stifled a giggle as Johanna answered the phone, and rolled her eyes as she heard the voice on the other end.

"Cecilia," she stated; her tone firm. "I'm not going through this with you again. Grandpa left the stuff to me, it's mine, I'm keeping it and your father will have to get over it. Now if you don't mind, I have company that I'd much rather associate with."

"You tell them," Sharon mouthed to her.

"Cecilia!" Johanna all but yelled. "I don't give a damn what you think; or what your siblings think. I don't give a damn about what your father thinks. He can try and sue me all he wants but he won't win and you can tell him that. You can also tell him that he's a jackass and that I said he could go to hell for all I care. Now I'm done with this conversation. Don't bother calling back because I'm not answering," she told her before slamming down the phone and turning her attention back to Sharon.

"See what I have to put up with?" she asked. "See why I'm in a bad mood?"

"Yeah; I know. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah, bail me out when I lose control and hurt somebody."

"You got it," she stated. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"We talked about it at work; there really isn't anything to add."

"Okay," Sharon said; realizing that Johanna wasn't interested at picking at that nerve right now. "Let's get back to you and Jim then."

"I think we've exhausted that topic."

"No we haven't; we haven't gotten you to commit to a plan yet. Now I say you need to wear something sexy and let one of those kisses turn into something more."

"I can't believe we're discussing this," Johanna said with a shake of her head.

"It's a conversation that's been long overdue in my opinion," the secretary remarked. "You two need to get your act together."

"That seems to involve going straight to sex in your mind…in fact sex seems to be on your mind tonight. What's wrong; is Phil falling down on the job?"

"Well this is the second Friday night in a row when he's picked going out with the boys over me."

"Are you worried?"

"I don't know…do you think I should be?"

Johanna shook her head. "No; not really. He's seemed kind of stressed the last few weeks. Maybe work is getting to him and he's just out with the boys blowing off steam. Usually me, you and Maggie get invited along on Friday nights…and since we're both here and Maggie mentioned going to her sister's, I think it's clear that none of us have been invited the last two weeks. It's probably male bonding season."

"So you think everything is okay?"

"Yeah; but if you're worried, you could maybe bring it up," she stated; a small smirk on her lips as she threw some of Sharon's words back at her.

"Smart ass."

Johanna giggled as she raised her glass to her lips for another sip. "I think everybody's in a bad mood lately. Jim's been acting like something's bugging him ever since you and Jeff had to tease us in the break room."

"Well how could we not?" she asked. "You know how you two are; which brings us around to the original topic at hand. Give a bit more effort to reel him in."

"Why do I have to give the effort; where's his effort?"

"I have a feeling his effort is concentrated on self control…if it wasn't, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion because the two of you would've done the deed long ago."

Johanna scrubbed a hand over her face. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

Sharon sighed. "Alright; we'll revisit this topic later. What are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to go shopping? Maybe we can find you something alluring for any future dinner parties you might hold."

"Sharon."

"I didn't mention any names."

Johanna scoffed. "You didn't have to; but I can't go tomorrow. I have plans."

"Oh? Anything good, because I'm not busy."

She hesitated for a moment. "I'd rather not say."

The other woman's eyes gleamed brightly. "You have a date with Jim?"

"It's not a date!"

"Of course it isn't," her friend scoffed.

"It's not. It's a picnic."

"Really?" Sharon said; "That sounds like an opportunity for romance."

"I don't think so. It's a family picnic."

Her brow rose. "Any of those brothers going to be there?"

"I hate you, Sharon."

She laughed. "See, I told you it was only a matter of time."

"Yeah, I know; go ahead and gloat but you never did answer my question."

"What question?"

"What do you wear to meet a man's grandmother?"

"Nothing too tight; nothing too short; nothing too revealing. Go for demure and classy; which won't be a problem for you at all."

"I think I can swing that," Johanna agreed.

"Now that topic I said we'd revisit later," Sharon stated.

"What about it?"

"It's later," she smiled.

"Damn," Johanna said. "I'm going to need more wine for this."

"Then lets go get some," Sharon said as she got up from the bed. "I'm enjoying this."

"It shows," she replied as she followed her friend out of the room. "I'm glad I can bring you so much joy."

"That's what friends are for," the secretary quipped.

---

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Johanna asked the next day as Jim stood by, watching her shove her feet into her sandals.

"I'm sure."

"I'm sorry I'm running behind this morning. I guess Sharon and I gabbed too long last night and I overslept this morning."

"It's okay; there's no hurry," he assured.

She wasn't really sure she should be doing this. She still wasn't quite convinced that he wanted her to go along. She wished she had discussed the matter with Sharon; perhaps her best friend could've given her some advice. Johanna tapped her foot nervously as she looked around the room for her purse.

"How was your night out with the boys?" she asked as she finally spotted her bag across the room.

"Well no one got hit or arrested," he said with a laugh.

The sound of his laugh relaxed her and she grinned at him as she grabbed her keys and shoved them into her purse. "Does that mean it was a good night or a bad night?"

"The jury is still out on that one," Jim answered. "Where did you and Sharon go?"

"We just stayed here," she told him as her phone began to ring. She frowned at it and headed for the door. "I'm ready if you are."

"Aren't you going to get that?"

"Nope; I'm not home," she stated as she opened the door.

Jim followed her into the hallway, the phone still ringing as she closed the door. He wondered who she was avoiding today and then figured it was probably her parents. "I thought you and Sharon had mentioned going out to the clubs so you could dance…and probably hustle drinks."

"We don't hustle drinks!" she exclaimed as they got on the elevator. "If someone offers to buy us a drink, we accept, because that's the polite thing to do…unless he's creepy or wearing a wedding ring."

"And then what?" Jim asked while the doors slid shut.

"And if his small talk isn't interesting and he's not appealing, we bring up the fact that our fiancés are due home on leave any day now."

"Johanna!" he admonished.

"What?" she laughed. "It works."

Jim shook his head. "So why did you ladies pass up all that fun of breaking hearts in favor of staying in?"

"By the end of the day we didn't feel like going out," Johanna answered. "Sharon wanted to borrow a dress and I had a bottle of wine, so we just ordered some takeout and hung out here all night."

"I'm sure the two of you amused yourselves with some man bashing," he replied as they got off the elevator and headed for the door.

"Our night wouldn't have been complete without it."

"Was I on the list?" he inquired as he opened the car door for her.

"Of course, you all were. We don't discriminate."

Jim laughed as he shut the door and rounded the car to climb in on the driver's side. "Should I be concerned about all of this non discriminate man bashing?"

"No; it was harmless."

"Did you learn anything about Phil that I could possibly use against him?" Jim asked as he pulled into traffic.

"Why?" she asked.

"No reason."

"I'm not sure I believe that."

"It's easier to maintain your innocence if you pretend to believe it."

"Okay," she laughed; "But I'm afraid I don't have anything to offer to you."

"Nothing at all? Sharon's his girlfriend, she's your best friend; you have to have something."

Johanna shook her head. "Nope; she is concerned though about him throwing her over the past two weekends in order to go out with you boys."

"So? What's wrong with that?"

"It worries her; she doesn't think he's being himself."

Jim scoffed. "Why do you women do that?"

"Do what?"

"Act like a man has to be glued to your hip once you're in a relationship together."

"We don't do that!"

"Yes, you do," he laughed; "And the minute we want to do something else, something away from you for a night; you all jump on that 'oh my god, something's wrong' call up the girlfriends and compare notes bandwagon."

"It is not like that!" she protested; "And in Sharon's defense, this is not the first time this has happened."

"No; it's much worse, it's the second time," he said dramatically.

"Jackass," she laughed. "You wait until the next time there's a man bashing session; you're really going to get it."

His mischievous grin remained in place. "You still never answered the question about why you women react that way."

"Maybe because you men give us reason to. I mean let's face it, one minute you want to be with us all the time and then all of a sudden, you don't want to be with us all the time. What are we supposed to think? Why do you men do that?"

"I don't know…so we can remember who we are without you?" he said. "So our friends will stop teasing us about being absorbed in your world…so you'll appreciate us more and be looking forward to our return."

Johanna gave him a disbelieving look. "Right."

"What? It's true."

"Then why can't you just say you want space instead of just making it seem like you don't want to be around anymore?"

"Because we don't really want space…we just want to spend time with other people."

"Again, you could just say that. You don't have to act so…distant."

"Phil hasn't been distant with Sharon; he's just stressed."

"It feels like distance to her, and now she feels like she's getting the brush off," Johanna stated and then after a moment she added, "Is he seeing someone else?"

"No! Why would you even ask that?"

"Because Sharon has raised a concern; and as her best friend, I assure her it isn't true and then investigate the claim on my own; now, are you sure there isn't someone else? And keep in mind that I'm considering you under oath at this moment."

Jim laughed. "What's your penalty for perjury?"

"You don't want to know," she told him. "Now let's have that answer."

"Phil isn't cheating on Sharon," he stated. That's another thing you women jump to conclusions about. Why do you automatically think there's someone else?"

"Because half the time we're right! We figure why else wouldn't you want to be with us all of a sudden? You must've found something new that's holding your attention."

He shook his head. "Okay, so let's take this scenario as an example. We're good friends, I talk to you and see you nearly every day; and if that suddenly stopped for a day or two, you'd automatically assume I was out talking to some other woman?"

"I don't think that's the same, Jim."

"Question still stands…and in the name of fairness, consider yourself under oath."

"Do I get to know you're penalty for perjury?"

"No; you didn't tell me yours. Now answer the question."

"Okay…if you suddenly weren't around anymore, I'd probably take into consideration that you're talking to some other woman."

"Why?"

"Why not? I know Melanie's made it more than obvious that's she's open to having anything you want with her…although conversation might rank low on her list."

"Oh yeah; I can really see myself having the conversations I have with you with Melanie."

"Well you might like a little dumbness for a change…especially if it comes in that cheaply wrapped package."

"Okay, that was probably a bad line of questioning to open up," Jim remarked. "Let's just go back to Phil and Sharon. He's not cheating on her; he's just stressed from work and he probably doesn't want to take it out on her so he figures it's best just to go out with us and blow off steam."

Johanna nodded. "Alright, I'll accept that answer."

"Lucky for Phil."

"You're damn right."

"And for some reason I feel like it's lucky for me that we're here," Jim stated as he the park came into view.

She laughed. "I didn't have any further questions. You don't have to worry about the penalty for perjury."

---

Introducing Johanna to his brother Michael had gone relatively well, Jim thought to himself; the kids of course had smothered her in hugs, all demanding her attention as she had gotten reacquainted with Natalie and Madelyn. So far it was all going very nicely and far better than he had thought. She already knew his father, who would be showing up at any moment, so there was no worry there. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad. Maybe Natalie had kept her promise of keeping everyone relatively well behaved. He began to relax, but then his gaze landed on his younger brother, Andrew, as he made his way toward the table they had claimed for the day. All bets were probably off now.

"There's the bad seed," he commented; causing Michael to laugh and the women to follow his gaze.

'Which one is this?" Johanna asked.

"Andrew," he answered as the man in question drew near. Andrew Beckett greeted his family and then turned his quizzical gaze upon Jim and the woman at his side.

"Who's your friend, Jim?" he asked.

"This is Johanna," he replied. "Jo; this miscreant is my younger brother, Andrew."

'It's nice to meet you," she told him with a smile.

Andrew smiled as he admired her; his gaze eventually making its way back to her face after his quick appraisal of her. "I can see now why Jim's been hiding you from us," he remarked. "He knows I have a weakness for beautiful women and that I'd most likely be able to steal you away from him."

"You wish," Jim scoffed.

His brother grinned. "You don't think I could woo her away from you? What do you think, Johanna? Do you think it would take much effort to get you away from this clown?"

She laughed as Jim shot his brother a look. "You're not her type, Andrew."

"How do you know I'm not her type, she just met me. So what do you think, Johanna? Do you think I could be your type?"

"I don't know," she said. "I hear you get your face slapped a lot."

His mouth dropped open in mock surprise; his brown eyes sparkling merrily. "Who told you that outrageous lie?"

"Your brother."

"Which one?"

"Jim," she answered. "I just met Michael a little while ago."

"Uncle Jim did say you get slapped a lot, Uncle Andrew," Mikey chimed in. "He also said that you have a baby face and you only have to shave it once a month."

Andrew turned to Jim, who was trying to disguise his grin by scrubbing a hand over his mouth. "Did you say that?" his younger brother asked.

"Yeah I did," he laughed. "It's the truth."

"It is not!" Andrew exclaimed; his attention shifting back to Johanna. "I shave every day."

"Yeah right," Michael laughed.

"Okay, every other day," he amended; "But can you believe my own brother, who I used to like up until about thirty seconds ago, is out sullying my good name? I'm going to have to kick his ass. I'm just sorry you'll have to witness it, I usually don't subject ladies to such violence."

"That's because it's usually the ladies subjecting him to the violence," Jim remarked as Johanna giggled in response.

"You're not going to think you're funny when I kick your ass," Andrew taunted; his amused smirk dampening any real threat.

"You can try," Jim laughed; "But keep in mind that your mommy isn't here to kiss your boo-boos when it's over."

"You're the one that would need the kissing."

"Miss Jo kissed Uncle Jim's boo-boo when he hit his head off the pipe," Mikey announced.

"Thanks for the reminder of that, Mikey," Jim said; embarrassment coloring his cheek bones as his siblings laughed.

"I would've paid good money to have seen that," Andrew remarked.

"Me too," his sister giggled.

"What caused this accident anyway?" Michael laughed; his tone teasing as he eyed his brother.

"It's not important," Jim replied.

"I asked him if he kisses Miss Jo," his nephew reported; "But he wouldn't tell me if he does or not because we respect her."

Johanna laughed even though she could feel a blush warming her cheeks.

"So does he kiss you, Johanna?" Michael asked; "You know, respectfully of course."

"Some girls don't kiss and tell," she replied.

"If you kiss me, you can tell anyone you want," Andrew told her. "You can especially tell Jim."

"I don't think I have to sit up nights worrying about that," Jim retorted lightly.

"That's what you think; I'm just getting started," his brother said as he waved a hand at Johanna. "Come here, angel face…come away from the darkness and into the light."

She looked to Jim as she laughed. "Should I go or should I run?"

"Oh go ahead; I've got to see this," he told her. "Don't worry; I'll save you from his clutches."

Johanna got up and walked towards Andrew; trying to hold her laughter in as he gestured for her to sit beside him. He dropped an arm around her shoulders and smiled. "Now isn't that better already?" he asked.

"No comment."

He nodded. "I see, you're diplomatic. Well let me tell you what I have to offer; I have a car…"

"So do I," Jim stated; "She rode over here in it…she rides in it all the time."

"But my car is better," his brother said; as if Jim hadn't interrupted at all. "My car is a Mustang."

Johanna smiled. "Oh, I love Mustangs."

Andrew grinned as he looked to Jim. "I just scored a point…your Camaro can't compete with my Mustang."

"That's what you think."

"What color is your Mustang?" Johanna asked.

"Yellow," he replied; his grin still in place.

She frowned. "I prefer red…I'm not overly fond of yellow lately."

Jim chuckled. "And there goes the point…my blue Camaro wins."

"I'll paint it," Andrew declared. "You're right, red is way better…its way better than blue, too."

"Hey, I can paint my car too," Jim responded.

"Okay, moving on," his little brother stated. "I have a job that takes me to the most beautiful places in the world. I'm heading for France in the next few weeks; you can go with me. Just grab your bikini and your passport and we'll be on the French Riviera before you know it."

"What makes you think I have a bikini?" Johanna asked.

He grinned; his gaze quickly raking over her once again. "A beautiful woman like you has a bikini stashed away somewhere; but if not, I'll buy you one."

"You don't want him shopping for your bikini," Michael stated. "You'd end up with a few pieces of dental floss and barely enough material for an eye patch."

"And she's not that kind of girl," Jim declared.

Andrew caught Johanna's eye. "My brother seems to think he knows all about what kind of girl you are."

"Well he has known me for awhile now."

"That's not it," he said with a shake of his head. "Jim just fancies himself a know it all. But I think you're the kind of girl who would like to have a good time. Now you come to Europe with me, after France we'll head for Italy."

"I am Italian on my mother's side," she commented.

"Did you hear that, Jim; that was the sound of another point for me," Andrew teased. "After Italy, I'll take you to Greece."

"I don't have a passport."

"No problem, I'll get you one," he said with a dismissive wave. "I have a buddy that can get me a passport in half the usual time it takes."

She eyed him with a raised brow. "Is that legal?"

"Of course it is; I wouldn't get you in trouble."

"Yeah right," Jim laughed.

"Hey, I don't hear you offering to take her anywhere. Picnics and Grandma's pale in comparison to Europe, big brother."

Jim smirked. "Get your hands off of her."

"I only have one hand on her," Andrew remarked; waving the free one at him; "And she doesn't seem to mind, do you, Johanna?"

She shook her head as she glanced at the hand that was gently curled around her upper arm as his arm rested against her back. "No; it's fine. It hasn't strayed anywhere it hasn't been invited."

"Of course not; I'm a gentleman…unlike some people here…like Michael. Rumor has it that he had to marry Natalie because her mother saw him trying to get his hand up her skirt."

"That's a lie!" Natalie exclaimed; her gaze darting away from her three oldest children as they played ball a short distance away from the table.

"Yeah; it's way more innocent than it seems," Michael remarked. "She said a cricket ran up her leg and I was trying to be a nice guy and get it for her. The next thing I knew, I was being shoved into the trunk of Dad's car and driven to a church where I was dragged down the aisle. It took me three days to figure out what happened."

"Lies; it's all lies, Johanna. Don't believe him," Natalie told her.

"I don't know, that's how I remember it," Jim laughed.

"Me too," Andrew agreed.

"My brothers lie a lot," Madelyn laughed. "Take their stories with a grain of salt."

"Oh I figured that," Johanna giggled; "And for a man who was supposedly forced into marriage, you must not mind it; you have four kids."

"That's just to make it look good," Michael replied as he ducked a swat from his wife.

"Yeah; what else was he supposed to do with her once he had her?" Andrew asked; "But they don't matter; let's get back to you and me."

"I didn't know there was a you and me," Johanna replied.

"A sense of humor; I like it, but let's get back to my qualifications, which surpass my brother's. I'm charming."

"I think Jim's charming too."

"Okay; I'm funny. I can make you laugh."

"If you like immaturity," Jim commented.

"Like you don't have a streak of immaturity," Michael threw in.

"No one asked you."

"Hey, I'm trying to woo a woman here, do you mind?" Andrew asked. "Sorry, angel face, let's get back to business. I'm very handsome."

"I think Jim's very handsome," she replied with a smile at him.

"Yeah, but I'm more handsome, don't you think?"

"I think you're both very handsome," she laughed.

"What about me?" Michael asked.

"You're married, you don't count," Andrew told him.

Michael looked to his wife. "See what you and that cricket did, you made me not count anymore."

"You better stop lying," Natalie laughed; "Or I'm going to put you back in the running and Johanna can have all of three of you."

"Oh lord, don't wish that on her," Madelyn replied. "No one deserves that."

"I don't think I could handle it," Johanna agreed.

"Well lucky for you, you'll only have to handle me if you choose wisely," Andrew told her. "Look at these brown eyes of mine; I've been told they light up a room; now how can you pass that up?"

She smiled at him. "Well…it just so happens that I might be partial to blue eyes."

"I think that was the sound of someone losing," Jim taunted.

His younger brother sighed. "Look angel face; I can paint my car for you but there isn't much I can do about my eyeballs."

Johanna shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"You can't blame the lady for being partial to blue eyes," Robert stated as he came to stand by the table.

"Get in line, Dad," Andrew told him. "I saw her first."

Robert laughed. "I think Jimmy might have something to say about that; now give him back his girl; you've had your fun."

Andrew looked at her. "Are you going back over there to the dark side?"

Johanna nodded. "The dark side brought me."

"Okay, go," he said pulling his arm away. "Just remember, you could've had all of this," he said; gesturing to himself.

"You say that like I have this one," she laughed; flicking a wrist towards Jim as she returned to her original seat.

"It's only a matter of time," Robert said as he took the place next to Andrew.

"Leave Jim alone," Natalie warned. "I promised we wouldn't tease him too much."

"Do you at least have a sister for me?" Andrew asked Johanna.

"She's married," she answered.

"Happily?"

"I don't know; we haven't spoken much since the wedding."

"Hmm, one of those?" Andrew replied.

"She's one of something alright."

"Okay, moving on. How about a best friend?"

"She has a boyfriend…for now; but if he keeps neglecting her, I could see if I could work something out for you."

"Sharon would eat him alive," Jim laughed; "And Phil isn't going to relinquish his claim anytime soon."

"Well that sounded promising for all of three seconds,' his little brother commented. "How about your second best friend?"

"She's with someone."

"Cousins?"

"You're too good for most of them; the one I like the best snagged a man at my sister's wedding, but if it doesn't work out, I'll definitely send her your way," Johanna told him.

"Okay," Andrew said with a nod. "I can live with that…and I'll learn to love you like a sister since I can't get you away from the evil forces of Jim."

Jim smirked as he glanced to Johanna. "You saved yourself a lifetime of horror by being partial to blue eyes instead of brown."

---

Jim had been watching Johanna throughout the day, and for the most part she seemed to be enjoying herself. She didn't seem to mind those moments when Angie insisted on hanging on her and dragging her off to play on the swings; and she easily refereed the fight between Mikey and Danny about who was claiming the spot on her lap by giving them both equal time. She was getting along well with Natalie and Madelyn; in fact it looked like they were all becoming fast friends which was pleasing to see. She appeared at ease with his brothers; laughing at their antics and joining in their jokes and as always she was getting along fine with his father. It was all going much better than he had hoped…but during those rare moments when she was by herself, he caught those glimpses of melancholy on her face, her eyes staring off into the distance as she lost herself in thought. Something was wrong somewhere inside and he figured he better get to the bottom of it.

"Hey, do you want to go for a walk?" Jim asked as he brushed his hand against hers; startling her from her thoughts.

"Won't the others think we left when they get back with their ice cream?" she asked.

"No; they'll figure we just wandered off for awhile; that path down there looks pretty shaded, how about it?"

Johanna smiled softly and rose from the table. "A walk sounds nice."

"What are you thinking about?" Jim asked as she once again grew pensive while they walked along the path; the trees giving them shade from the July heat.

"Do you ever feel like running away?" Johanna asked.

He thought it over for a moment. "When I was a kid I thought about it every so often."

"But never as an adult?"

Jim shrugged. "I wouldn't say never. There have been times when I wanted to get in the car and just keep driving. Why?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Because I feel like running away."

He reached for her hand; his fingers entwining with hers. "Why, sweetheart?"

"I just want to get away," she murmured. "Just break away from everything I have to be for a little while."

He tugged her towards a tree and they sat down beneath it; its large leafy canopy overhead seemingly shielding them from the world as they settled in for a private talk.

"What do you mean everything you have to be?"

"I mean I want to get away from being the daughter Frank McKenzie didn't want and therefore hates; and the daughter Naomi frets over because she's unmarried. I want out of Colleen's shadow of martial bliss and while Frankie and I are on good terms right now; I want out of his shadow too. I want to get away from my cousins who keep calling me to complain about how their father doesn't think I'm entitled to the things Grandpa left me and telling me that the right thing to do would be to sign it over to him. I want to get away from my Uncle and his complaining about those stocks and that bond. He acts like I stole the damn things. He even made sure that I was told that he's thinking about suing me for them...well I'd just like to see him try that."

"Wait," Jim said as he held up a hand to pause her flow of words. "Your uncle has threatened to sue you? Does he not know what you do for a living?"

Johanna scoffed. "My law degree doesn't impress him. I've already explained to his kids that Grandpa's will was legal and that he had the right to leave those things to anyone he wanted; regardless of who they had belonged to before they were in his possession. The lawyer at the reading of the will told everyone in the room that the law back then stated that any stocks or bonds that a woman owned in that time period became the property of her husband once she married. Grandpa may have never taken the money from her stocks, but technically, he owned them once they were married and they were his to give. When they first made a fuss about it at the reading, I offered to sign it over then but Mom and Bridget talked me out of it and I'm keeping them. He wanted me to have them; maybe he wanted me to have something that had been my grandmother's as a legacy from both of them. Colin can drag me into court all he wants but he won't win...the law is on my side and besides; I'll go after him like I've never gone after anyone before! I am so sick and tired of this family!"

Jim laid a hand on her knee to soothe her. "Why does he want these stocks so badly? Does he need money that bad?"

Johanna laughed. "He doesn't need money! He has Grandpa's company, which is very lucrative; plus he married a wealthy woman and somehow managed to get her father's company out from under her two brothers...maybe I should get a hold of them and see if they want to file suit about that."

"That would piss off your uncle and probably your father too," Jim laughed.

"That would be a bonus, because they're all pissing me off. Besides two companies, he also has his own investments. He's just being a greedy jackass."

His hand squeezed her knee lightly. "Why didn't you tell me all of that was going on, Jo?"

She shrugged as she pulled her legs up against her and wrapped her arms around them. "I figure you must get tired of hearing about my problems; hell I get tired of hearing them."

"Hey," he said gently; drawing her gaze back to his. "I never get tired of listening to you. I tell you my problems and complaints; do you get tired of hearing mine?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I'd rather hear yours."

"Well I have a complaint to share but let's get through yours first."

"You're such a gentleman to let me go first," she teased softly.

He smiled. "Make sure you mention that to my grandmother tomorrow."

"I will," she laughed.

Jim dropped an arm around her and pulled her against his side. "What else do you want to get away from?"

"Work, I guess. I feel like I've been swamped for months, and now that it's slowing down again, I just want to get out of the office for awhile; away from the gossip and the sleazy jackasses that roam the building with their pick up lines and think that they can put their hands on you just because you're there."

"Who touched you?" Jim demanded to know; his defenses rising.

"It's not important who it was."

"Yes it is," he stated. "Who was it?"

"It's not like it's the first time, Jim. It's happened before and it's been different people."

"Give me the most recent."

"Charles," she answered; knowing he wouldn't give up until he knew.

"That bastard. What did he do?"

"Jim."

"Tell me!"

"You know that dark blue top I was wearing the other day with my black skirt?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I was in the break room getting a cup of coffee and I wasn't paying any attention to who had come in the room. I guess I was lost in my thoughts. I had a file with me and I knocked it on the floor, I bent over to pick it up and I guess my shirt rode up my back and he managed to get up behind me get his hand under it..." she trailed off.

"Tell me you hit him."

"I slapped him, but it just made him laugh...so I threw my coffee in his face...it was hot...that's why he has those red marks on his face that he's passing off as sunburn."

Jim's hand curled into a fist; his hatred of Charles Patterson growing. "Why didn't you come and tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to go jail and I can't let you fight all of my battles for me."

"When it's something like that, you can. Why don't you report him?"

"What good does it do?" Johanna scoffed. "We've all reported him at one time or another and they say they'll talk to him or whoever else it is, and they back off for awhile but eventually come back for another go around. It doesn't happen every day...but apparently Charles chose me to pick at this week."

Jim's brow rose. "Is there something else you're not telling me?"

"It's just his usual talk...and he made the comment that if I could be 'friendly' with you; I could be 'friendly' with him. I told him hell would freeze over first."

Jim released a weighted breath; anger still simmering in his veins. "One of these days, I'm going to make sure he falls out of a window. Anything else you're keeping from me?"

"No."

"Anything else you want to get away from...like me?"

"No," she said softly; "Never you."

"That's good to know," he replied as he gave her a squeeze.

"I just want to break away for a few days and not have to be someone's daughter, sister, cousin, niece, lawyer ect...I'd just like to be Johanna for awhile."

"We'll have to see what we can do about that," Jim stated. "Do you still have your vacation time?"

"You know I do; we're probably the last ones in the building to still have vacation time. Everyone got ahead of us in line," she laughed.

"Oh there are a few that still have time; they're waiting to take it at the holidays."

"I'd rather take mine while it's still warm, but I don't know where to go because I don't want to spend it here."

A plan was forming in his mind, but he kept it to himself for now. "We'll think of something," he remarked and before she could ask what it could be; he turned the conversation to himself. "You know that big case between those two publishing companies that everyone has been talking about?"

"Yeah; from what I hear, you're the one who's going to land it," she replied.

Jim shook his head. "I almost had it...but then Charles Patterson got his hooks into it."

"What? How the hell did that happen! He blew the last major case he had."

"Well he's looking to redeem himself," Jim answered; "And he's such good buddies with Neil that he had him pull some strings with the other senior partners and the case was magically his."

"That's not fair! You were the better choice; you're track record is way better than his ever was!"

"Yeah, well, what are you going to do? He sucked up to Neil long ago so he could get whatever he wanted. He's already dropped by my office to gloat about it."

"You should've punched him in the face."

"If I had known what he did to you, I would have."

She sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Maybe we both need to run away."

"Sounds good to me," Jim responded. "Do you want to go now?"

"We can't; we have to have dinner with your grandmother tomorrow."

"Damn."

Johanna laughed. "Maybe one day we can arrange it."

Jim pressed a kiss to her head and then smiled. It sounded like a good idea to him.

---

"There they are, I told you they didn't leave," Natalie said to her daughter as she caught sight of Jim and Johanna returning from their walk.

Angie went running toward them; wedging herself between them as she took their hands. "Where did you go?" she demanded to know.

"We went for a walk," Johanna answered.

"Why?"

"Because we wanted to," Jim replied.

"Why didn't you take me?"

"You weren't here; you were off getting ice cream," he explained.

"You could've waited for me," his niece stated.

"We're sorry," Johanna laughed. "Next time we'll wait."

"Guess what we're going to do," Angie said excitedly; appeased by the answer she had been given.

"What?"

"We're going to play baseball," she exclaimed as they neared the table. "Will you play baseball with us, Miss Jo?"

"I don't know how to play baseball," she answered; causing the whole Beckett family to look at her in astonishment; with the exception of Natalie, who smiled knowingly as if she had been down this road before herself.

"You don't know how to play baseball?" Jim asked.

"No."

"Didn't you take gym class in high school?" Andrew inquired.

"Yes, but the week they played baseball, I had to sit out because I hurt my ankle at cheerleading practice."

"What about when you were younger; didn't you play ball with the neighborhood kids?" Robert asked.

Johanna shook her head. "My father said that girls didn't play baseball…or football. That was my brother's arena."

Robert's brow rose. "I'm sure your father is well aware of the fact that there were womens baseball leagues during World War Two."

"He probably didn't approve of that," she replied.

"So you've never hit a baseball before?" Robert asked incredulously.

"No."

"Good lord," the older man stated; "That's a rite of childhood. Jimmy, you should've brought this girl around sooner; she's been sheltered and deprived of some of life's pleasures."

"We're just going to have to teach her," Michael announced.

Robert nodded. "It's the only thing to do."

"I'll teach her how to hit," Andrew volunteered.

"No you won't," Jim retorted. "I'm teaching her how to hit."

"Why do you get to teach her?"

"Because I'm better than you."

"You are not!"

"I am too!"

"Boys," Robert interrupted. "Jimmy's teaching her. Andrew, you'll pitch and I'll catch. Michael, you and the kids get your gloves and get out in the field; you too, Maddy."

"I could just hold Alicia and Natalie could play," Johanna offered.

Andrew shook his head. "Natalie doesn't play with us anymore."

Her brow rose. "Why not?"

"We don't talk about that," the three Beckett brothers stated together.

Johanna's gaze darted to Natalie. "Should I be worried?"

"No; they'll take it easy on you this time. It's the third time you have to watch out for."

That thought didn't comfort her and she looked to Madelyn as she walked towards them. "Don't worry; they won't get overly zealous with the kids playing too."

"Come on; let's get this lesson under way," Robert stated; gesturing to the field.

Jim gave her a smile as they walked to the baseball diamond. "You'll do fine; don't worry. You have a fantastic teacher."

"That remains to be seen," she teased.

She stood where Jim positioned her; watching as everyone organized themselves while he selected a bat for her from the bag Robert had brought along.

"Let's try this one," Jim said as he handed her the bat.

"It's heavier than they look on TV," she commented.

"You'll get used to the feel of it, here get a better grip on it," he said as he positioned her hands properly on the bat. He then moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her as he too took hold of the bat. A flutter rippled through her heart at the close contact. Apparently this was going to be a cozy lesson, she mused; not that she minded. He helped her to take a few practice swings before telling Andrew to pitch the ball.

"Keep your eye on the ball," Jim instructed as he kept hold of the bat with her.

"That's probably going to be hard for her to do with my good looks and charm looking back at her," Andrew said with a grin as he got ready to pitch the ball.

"Oh yeah, she really looks like she's about to faint from the overwhelming presence that you are," Jim shot back.

"I don't see you making her swoon either," his little brother taunted.

"I can make her swoon if I want."

"I thought you were teaching me how to hit a baseball," Johanna interrupted.

"Throw the ball, Andrew," Robert yelled.

Andrew threw the ball and Jim helped her swing but they missed. "I thought you were supposed to help me hit it," she remarked as Robert grabbed the ball and tossed it back to his youngest son.

"I will," he replied; a hand falling against her hip as he nudged her to change her stance. The movement brought them even closer as his arms returned around her and his senses were overtaken with her scent and the softness of her hair.

"You ready, Romeo?" Andrew yelled.

"Throw the damn ball."

The statement for some reason sent her into a fit of giggles and they missed the ball for the second time. "Jo," Jim chastened lightly.

"It's your fault," she stated. "My arm is getting tired already."

"Maybe that bat's too heavy for her, Jimmy," Robert commented. "Let me get her another one."

They traded bats and Jim didn't hesitate to reach out and touch as he guided her to stand the proper way; before he retook his place behind her. "How does this feel?" he asked.

"Pretty good," she remarked; thinking more about the feel of his chest at her back; his voice at her ear and those strong comforting arms around her. "How does it feel to you?"

Way better than it probably should, he thought to himself. "It feels good to me."

"We are talking about the bat, right?" Robert asked teasing; causing Johanna's cheeks to warm.

"Of course we are," Jim replied without missing a beat.

"They're lying," Michael called out. "Jim isn't thinking about the bat at all; that's why he wanted to be the one to teach her."

Jim shot his older brother a glare and then looked back to his grinning younger brother. "Throw the ball right this time."

Andrew threw the ball and this time they managed to make contact with it. "That's a good start," Jim praised; "Let's try it again."

"Let her try it on her own, Jimmy," his father stated.

He shook his head. "She's not ready yet."

Andrew laughed. "You mean you aren't."

"You're ready to try it on your own, aren't you, honey?" Robert asked her.

"No," she answered; enjoying the coziness of the lesson too much to give it up just yet.

"Think of how not ready you'd be if that was me behind you," Andrew quipped.

"Jo; I forgot to tell you that when you hit the ball, you should always aim for Andrew's head," Jim told her.

"Jimmy!" his father admonished.

"Don't worry, Robert; I know to disregard that one," she laughed.

Robert chuckled as he watched them take the swing. "It' a good thing your mother isn't here to see all of this body contact you two have going on."

A blush stained her cheeks once again as she turned her head enough to catch Jim's eye. "Where is your mother?"

"At her garden club," he answered; before glancing to his father. "Maybe we should send Jo with her one week; she has a plant in her office, its name is George...because he's noble looking."

Robert laughed and Johanna shifted in Jim's arms. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Not at all."

"A noble plant named George, huh," Robert remarked. "I've heard worse."

"He isn't just mine," she stated. "I share him with my best friend."

"Who happens to be her secretary," Jim filled in. "They talk to him and baby him; you ought to see it."

Johanna smirked as she struggled to withhold a laugh. "On second thought, I'm ready to try this one on my own," she said as she placed a hand against his chest and pushed him back from her.

"Oh, you blew it," Michael teased. "Andrew might stand a chance with her now."

"Say the word, angel face and I'm all yours," Andrew told her.

"Just throw the ball," she replied.

"So much for your wooing skills, little brother," Jim taunted.

His brother laughed and pitched the ball. Johanna swung the bat and to her surprise she made contact, lobbing the ball far out into the field. Her jaw dropped as she watched it soar; the kids and Madelyn running to catch it. "I did it!" she exclaimed; turning to Jim with a wide smile as she threw herself back into his arms. "I did it!"

"You sure did," he laughed. "That was great. See, I told you that you had a fantastic teacher."

She giggled happily. "I can't believe I hit it."

"That's my girl," he said without thought or realization but his father heard it and smiled knowingly as he watched them. She was his girl alright. "How do you like baseball so far?" Robert asked.

"I like it," she beamed.

"Good," he smiled; "Now we just have to teach her the rest."

"There's more?"

Jim looked at her. "We have a lot of work to do to catch you up with the baseball world, Jo."

"It didn't seem like there was more in gym class," she remarked.

"A lot of work," Robert agreed. "But don't worry, honey; you're in capable hands."

"I'm not worried," she smiled; and for the first time in days, that was true.

---

Johanna felt a little lighter than she had in a long time as she and Jim stepped inside her apartment early that evening. She turned towards him and smiled; closing the small distance between them and wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"What's this for?" he asked with a soft chuckle as his arms settled around her.

"Because I had a really nice time," she said softly; the smile detectable in her voice.

"I'm glad," Jim replied; feeling a twinge of guilt as he recalled how he almost hadn't extended the invitation to her.

"I had a lot of fun."

"Me too…I'm just glad they didn't run you off with their teasing."

"It was all in good fun," she remarked as she pulled back from him. "It wasn't like it is with my family."

"That's good to know."

Somehow, things suddenly felt a little off again and she wasn't quite sure why as she shifted on her feet. She felt like they had a nice day together. She had even thought that maybe she had been wrong about his mood the last few days and that he really had just been tired…but now it seemed like something had shifted again, and not in a good way.

"Jim, are you okay? Did I do something that upset you?"

"No; you haven't done anything. Why would you think that?"

Johanna shrugged. "I don't know…I guess every now and then I feel like you're mad at me about something and I don't know what it is."

Jim shook his head. "I'm not mad at you about anything. It's just stress, Jo; It's not you."

She looked somewhat skeptical and he wanted to kiss her to prove to her that he had no anger towards her…but suddenly he felt unable to do so. He was still bothered by things that shouldn't matter and he kept hearing Jeff's voice in his head, telling him that he and Johanna needed to stop acting like a couple if they were just going to be friends. He didn't really feel like they needed to change their behavior; and yet he couldn't kiss her, despite wanting to do so all day. He didn't know what was wrong with him; everything had been fine; the teasing about their relationship from his siblings had been kept to a bare minimum…but there was the lingering thought of his grandmother. They wouldn't fare so well under the assessing gaze of Lilly Beckett and he was dreading it. Why he had agreed to this dinner, he'd never know.

"Jim," Johanna said; her voice drawing him out of his thoughts. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that has you stressed?"

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "It isn't worth discussing."

She didn't look like she believed that either; he thought to himself as she closed the distance between them once more and enfolded him in her embrace. He was powerless to resist returning the gesture; his arms slipping around her as he nuzzled her hair and inhaled her scent. "You always smell like strawberries," Jim murmured.

"It's my soap and shampoo. I always figured my perfume was probably covering it."

"I've always smelled it mixed in with your perfume."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good," he breathed; his hold tightening around her. He had always found that scent of strawberries and light perfume to be unique to her…and intoxicating…kind of like the feel of her in his arms; her body pressed against him so perfectly; and he couldn't help but recall the close contact between them earlier in the day when he had taught her how to hit a baseball. His mind was suddenly overtaken with more than just the urge to kiss her…so much more, he mused; and it was probably best that he let go of her.

Jim released her and offered her a small smile as she stepped back a pace; it wasn't far enough though; he could still smell her scent and her kissable lips were still too close…so was the rest of her.

"I should get going," he told her as he turned and headed for the door.

Johanna followed behind him; feeling that oddness of his behavior once more. "Thank you for today," she told him as she paused beside him; her hand brushing against his arm. "I really did have a good time…more fun than I've had in awhile."

"I'm glad, sweetheart," he replied; casually drawing his arm away as her touch was igniting those sparks of desire that he was trying to quell. "It was good to hear you laugh so much."

"It felt good too," she said softly; and seeing his gaze dip to her lips, she decided to be bold and move closer. Maybe he had mistakenly gotten the idea that his advances were unwanted, which couldn't be further from the truth. She'd just have to show him that she did indeed want their customary goodnight kiss.

She was going to kiss him; Jim thought to himself; and he couldn't let her. If her lips touched his, all bets would be off and he'd be tempted to take things further than they should go. That temptation was already burning inside of him; begging him to take that chance. Just before her lips could meet his, he turned his head; her kiss landing against his cheek instead of her intended target.

She looked startled by the turn of events and he felt badly for spurning her advance; but it wasn't like he could tell her why; and so he merely brushed a light chaste kiss across her cheek and whispered goodnight.

"Are you still coming at four tomorrow?" Johanna asked; her tone betraying her confusion at his rejection of her.

"Make it five," he replied. "She called this morning and said she would be getting a late start on dinner."

"Okay; I'll be ready," she told him. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said again as he pulled open the door and swiftly made his exit before he did something they were liable to regret.

Johanna sighed as she locked the door. He sure was confusing the hell out of her this week and she didn't know what to make of it. There was only one thing to do it seemed, she thought as she walked to the stand and picked up the phone and dialed Sharon's number before plopping down on her sofa. Her fingers toyed with the coily cord of the receiver as she listened to the line ring. Finally her best friend picked up; a slight hint of an edge in her voice.

"Are you alone?" Johanna asked.

"No; not that it matters," Sharon replied somewhat tartly.

"Are you and Phil fighting; because I can call back later?"

"No, he's just sitting here with his beer and his eyes glued to my TV screen."

"So is this a bad time?"

"No; we can talk. Hang on; I'll go in the bedroom."

A few moments later, Sharon picked up the phone in the bedroom and yelled for Phil to hang up the phone in the living room, both of them staying silent until they heard him follow the order.

"How was the picnic?" Sharon asked.

"The picnic was great…."

"But?"

"But things got weird when he brought me home."

"Weird how?"

"He just started acting weird again…and I tried to kiss him and he wouldn't let me," Johanna exclaimed; still surprised by that turn of events.

"What! Wait; what? You tried to kiss him…you made a move?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not like I've never done it before; but the point is he turned his face."

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Sharon asked.

"I don't know; I keep asking him and he says nothing and that it's not me."

"Did you ask before or after the attempt at kissing?"

"Before; but not right before, you know what I mean? There was talking in between that; but I did ask him if I had done something and he said no but…I don't know; something's not right the last few days."

"Well if he's so adamant that it isn't you; than it must be him…and he must be dumber than I thought to throw you over while you're making a move."

"I just wish I knew what the problem was. Everything seemed fine today."

"Maybe he's nervous about introducing you to his grandmother."

"Well it's not like he has to; it wasn't my idea!"

"What is with men this week!" Sharon exclaimed.

"I don't know; it's like once one man has been infected by the jackass gene; all the other men around them catch it. It's like it's contagious…and if that's what's going on here, it's all Phil's fault," Johanna stated. "He started the epidemic."

"I know! And it's bad enough he's screwing up my life; he doesn't need to be screwing up yours too. Don't worry, I'll punish him."

"I take it he's still being an ass and taking you for granted?"

"Yes; and if this is how it's going to be from now on…then maybe I need to start thinking about making some changes."

"We could just kick his ass," Johanna suggested.

"Yeah; that sounds pretty good. Let's just roundup him and Jim and we may as well throw Jeff in too because he's going to be infected by the jackass gene next; and just beat the hell out of them until they get back to being normal."

"Have you talked to Phil about this?" she asked.

"Yeah; I get answers similar to yours."

"I swear; they must give them a book of responses in high school and they all follow it religiously."

"We need to find it and burn it," Sharon replied.

"I agree…I'm sorry though that things aren't going good right now though. He's a fool if he screws this up and lets you get away."

"Tell him that," her friend replied; a slight tremor in her voice.

"Put him on the phone and I will," Johanna remarked; "And I'll tell him a few other things he won't soon forget."

Sharon laughed softly. "I'm tempted."

She laughed with her. "Just say the word and I'll do it; but for now, go turn off the TV and dump the beer over his head and make him listen to how he's making you feel…and it he still insists on being an ass after that; then we'll make him pay."

"Okay," the secretary replied; "I'll give it a shot…and hey; hang in there, okay. What happened tonight might not be what you think it is. You haven't done anything wrong, so it's got to be something in his head. If he's still acting strange tomorrow; just remind him that this dinner wasn't your idea and go from there."

"Okay…I guess we both have some semblance of a plan then."

"Let me know how it goes," Sharon told her.

"I will; and I expect a report from you too."

"You got it," she laughed. "Goodnight, Jo."

"Goodnight, Sharon," she replied before hanging up the phone.

---

"Listen," Jim said the next evening as he turned towards Johanna after parking the car in front of his grandmother's house. "She's going to insist that we're together..."

Johanna had sensed that he was ill at ease with this whole thing ever since he arrived to pick her up and she hoped that she could put him at ease by making light of the situation. She allowed an amused smile touched her lips and she hoped that if she made light of the situation that it would put him at ease. "Well we are here together."

"You know what I mean," he smirked.

Johanna laughed. "It's not a big deal. I can handle it. It's way better than the assumption that I can't land a man at all. The real question is, if you're so bothered by this and didn't want to go through with it, why did you ask me? Why didn't you tell her no?"

"You mean why didn't I just tell her that you were busy and then not bother to tell you anything about it?"

"Yeah, why didn't you do that?"

Jim shrugged. "I don't know."

She was quiet for a long minute, wondering why she had agreed to this when he so clearly didn't want his grandmother to meet her. "Why don't you just take me home and then you can come back and have dinner with her. Tell her that my mother called at the last minute and needed me to do something for her."

"I'm not going to do that," he retorted.

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

"Because you don't want me here," she stated. "You don't like what it implies even if what's implied isn't the truth. It makes you uncomfortable, and knowing that you're uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable...and I'm uncomfortable enough in my own skin lately that I don't really need your discomfort adding to it. It's just going to end badly for both of us, so let's just go while we still can."

"Maybe you're the one who doesn't want to do this."

"I was fine with this until now," Johanna retorted; her tone rising a bit as she shifted in her seat so that she could face him better. "You're the one who asked me, and I must've missed my cue to say no and I'm sorry about that. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. I mean people talk and assume things about us all the time...but apparently it's a big deal to you and you didn't deny it when I said you didn't want me here...and you can't expect me to want to go in there with that thought hanging over my head."

"Johanna, it's not like that."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know...I guess I just get tired of all the assumptions and the comments and how everyone thinks they know our business."

A lump grew in her throat but she forced herself to swallow it. "Then maybe we should back off for awhile."

"What do you mean, back off?"

"I mean maybe we shouldn't see each other so much," she replied; a tremor of pain rippling through her heart. "That's why people talk; we're together a lot, so maybe if we back away for awhile, they won't have anything to talk about or speculate over and all of that will go away. Maybe we've leaned on each other too much these last several months and it's turned into something you don't want."

Jim shook his head. "No, I'm not going to do that. I don't want to back away from you...unless that's what you want. Do you want me to back off, Jo? Am I around too much?"

"No, that's not what I want," she said sharply. "I always want you around. I'm not the one with a problem here, you are, and the only way I can see to solve that problem is to not see each other for awhile. The rumors will stop then."

"I don't want that!" Jim remarked.

"Then what do you want?"

"I want what we have!"

"You just don't want to deal with what it entails?"

"Do you?" he asked. "Doesn't it ever bother you that people talk about us and tease us; that half the people in the office think you're sleeping with me?"

Her jaw tightened. "No, not really. I'm more bothered by the people who think I'm too boring or too into my job to attract and hold a man. Besides, I figure there are worse people my name could be linked with."

Jim gave her an affronted look. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Johanna shrugged. "It can mean whatever you want. What's the matter, did it sting a little? Did it feel like I was saying that maybe you weren't quite good enough? Because that's how you're making me feel. You don't want your name linked to mine because I'm not good enough for you."

His head snapped towards her; anger in his blue eyes. "Don't you ever say that again," he said; his voice low and firm.

"Why not?"

"Because it's a lie," he yelled; making her flinch slightly. "If anything, you'd be too good for me, so don't you ever say you're not. All I was trying to say is that I like what we have and I wish people would keep their mouth shut about it."

"Well maybe you can't have it both ways, Jim! Did you ever think about that? If you want us to keep our relationship the way it is, then you'll have to learn how to deal with the stupid comments and the gossip. If you don't want to do that, then we need to spend some time apart; and no I won't like that, but if it's what you need, I'll do it, Jim. Just like I do anything else you need me to do. So figure out what the hell you want and then take me home."

What he wanted, he thought; his jaw clenched as he studied her, her eyes glittering and her features hard with frustration, red lips pressed together tightly. What he wanted in that moment was to kiss her...kiss her until it all went away...kiss her in all the ways they tried to avoid. Before he could even think about talking himself out of it like he had done the night before, he cupped her face and pulled her towards him, claiming her lips before she could protest. She resisted at first, but he was persistent and she gave in sooner than she would've liked; unable to deny him or herself as her hand fisted his shirt; keeping him as close as possible as he continued his onslaught, of rough, heated kisses. It wasn't as if they had never kissed that way before; they had, just not often. They seemed to be so careful to keep their kisses tender and soft...so very cautious about avoiding that fiery, passionate spark the burned between them. There was no avoiding it in that moment and she returned and matched each kiss with equal fervor.

Finally he tore himself away from her lips; leaving them both breathless as he leaned his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling back slightly. His hold on her face loosened and skimmed over her features; his thumb caressing the curve of her chin. "I'm not backing away from you," he whispered. "I can't do that...I can't not see you. The only way I could ever do that is if it was what you wanted...if you didn't want me around."

"You know that's not what I want," she replied softly. "I don't want to have to be without you. I'd miss you so much...but people are still going to talk, Jim. Jeff and Sharon and the others are still going to tease when they can...relatives are still going to think what they want."

"I know...but it doesn't matter. What matters is that I don't want to lose you and what we have over something stupid like that."

Johanna smoothed a wrinkle from his shirt and then glanced at him. "Do I lean on you too much, Jim?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head. "No, sweetheart. I want you to lean on me when you need to...I always want to be here for you."

"I want to be here for you too," she replied as she took his hand and they settled back against their seats.

"Then there's not going to be any more talk about us not seeing each other?" he asked.

"No; we're not going to talk about that anymore."

"We're going to be us?"

"I guess so," she replied. "I don't see anybody else that wants to be us."

Jim chuckled quietly as he squeezed her hand. "It's not so bad being us, is it?"

"No," she said softly; "Not when we're together."

"Maybe we both need a vacation," he remarked.

"Maybe we do."

He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I think this was our first fight."

Johanna nodded. "Yeah, it was...bickering over cases doesn't really count."

"Yeah, that's just an occupational hazard."

She caught his eye. "Is it over now?"

He grinned. "Do you really need to ask that?"

A blush spread across her cheeks; knowing that he was referring to their kisses. "There's no telling with you, Jim Beckett," she quipped. "You might've just been trying to throw me off my game."

"No; I was just changing the game into something we could both win at."

She knew that wasn't really the case but she accepted his flippant remark in the spirit it was given. "Are you going to take me home now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Jim turned his head and held her gaze. "Because I want you here."

Johanna was quiet as she studied him. "Are you sure about that?"

His grip on her hand tightened. "I'm sure...that is if you're still willing to be here."

A small smile touched her lips. "I'm still willing."

"Then let's go...I'm sure she knows were out here by now."

"I better check my makeup first," she said as she opened her purse and took out her compact. She did a quick touch up and then brushed away a smudge of her makeup from his face.

"Are we presentable?" he laughed.

"I think we'll be okay," she replied with a laugh of her own.

They each took a breath and then got out of the car. His hand fell against the small of her back as they made their way up the walk. Lilly opened the door before he could knock and ushered them inside.

"Well, did you two patch up that argument you were having out there?" Lilly asked.

Jim eyed her. "What makes you think we were having an argument?"

His grandmother smirked at him. "I know what an argument looks like."

"Using your binoculars again, Grandma?"

"There's no law against looking out the window with binoculars, is there?"

"No," Johanna answered; "But I know a woman in Brooklyn you should be friends with."

"Really?" Lilly asked.

"Does your grandmother have binoculars too?" Jim inquired.

"Yeah; she called the police once because she thought she saw a murder...turned out to be a couple of theater majors rehearsing a scene."

Lilly chuckled. "Well those things happen. It's good to know what's going on...besides, I want to know if I'm going to have to have to explain anything to my neighbors. So did you two patch things up?"

"You tell us," Jim said. "You're the one with the binoculars."

Lilly smiled. "I was going to be nice and act like I didn't see that part."

"If you were interested in being nice, you'd properly greet the guest you wanted to meet so badly," Jim stated with a grin.

"Where are my manners," Lilly exclaimed as she reached for Johanna's hands. "Johanna, dear; it's so nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Beckett."

"Just call me Lilly, dear. I don't stand on formalities."

"Alright," Johanna agreed as she returned the woman's smile as Lilly looked her over.

"Jimmy described you to a T...but I did expect your hair to be longer based on the description."

"She cut it," Jim muttered; causing his grandmother to smirk knowingly at his tone.

"I take it you didn't discuss the matter with him before hand," the old woman said teasingly.

Johanna laughed. "I didn't know it was going to upset him so much."

Lilly's eyes gleamed with amusement. "Well that's okay; it's good to keep him on his toes. Now you come along into the dining room, dinner's ready. You're such a tiny thing," she said as she slipped an arm around Johanna's waist. "I'll have to make sure you get a proper portion before Jimmy takes the rest."

"You mean I'm invited?" Jim asked as he followed behind them. "I'm feeling left out here."

"Like I've ever had to hold your hand and lead you to the table," his grandmother replied.

---

"So do you want to tell me what that little quarrel was about?" Lilly asked a short time later as they were eating.

Jim glanced up from his plate. "Why would we want to do that?"

"Because I can tell when two people aren't acting the way they'd normally act. There's some tension here…which is surprising based on what I caught a glimpse of."

"Grandma," he said; a warning in his tone.

"Why lie about it, you know I was looking, you know that I saw you two kissing. It's alright, you're both of age, you can kiss in the car if you want to. I'm not going to post a notice about it in the newspaper. I figure you must have your reasons for keeping your relationship under wraps," Lilly replied.

"We're not hiding anything," he stated. "We already had this discussion and you promised to behave yourself."

"You can't blame a person for being curious."

His gaze darted to Johanna; she was being too quiet. Oh she was being her usual polite, kind self, speaking whenever spoken to; but he had a feeling that their argument had left some kind of lingering pallor; one she was feeling acutely and was throwing them off balance. He supposed it was his fault…but he thought it was over. It seemed over in the car. What had changed her mind; making her seem small and closed off?

"We're not together," Johanna spoke up, as if she was somehow reading his thoughts and interpreting them as the reason why he hadn't wanted to bring her there. "We're not dating, we're not sleeping together, we're just…us," she stated. "Nothing more, nothing less."

"What exactly is us?" Lilly asked; her attention turning towards her grandson's friend, as Jim looked at her in surprise at her overly blunt statement about what they weren't.

"Us is who we are," she answered politely. "We're friends and we work together. We get along well and like to spend time together, but were not carrying on some secret affair. We argued because your grandson didn't want to bring me here so I told him to take me home."

"Johanna," he sighed; his eyes asking her why the hell she had to go and do that.

"James Robert," Lilly said sternly. "What has gotten into you?"

"It wasn't like that," he replied; and then shifting his gaze back to Johanna, he added; "And I thought we had settled that in the car."

"We did but I figured it was best to satisfy her curiosity so you wouldn't be bothered by it later. I don't have anything to hide. We had a little argument about whether I should be here or not and about whether we should spend so much time together. We decided that we didn't want to change and that we should come on in and have dinner like planned. Case closed."

"If it was really closed; you wouldn't have told my grandmother our business."

"She asked," Johanna replied.

"You could've told her to mind her business; that's what I do."

"I'm not going to be rude to your grandmother."

Lilly laughed lightly. "I like her, Jimmy. She speaks her mind; it's no wonder Elizabeth is quaking in her boots. She wouldn't be able to walk all over this girl. I am sorry though if I caused discord between then two of you. That was never my intention, dear," she said as she turned her head to address Johanna. "I just wanted to meet you since he seemed to care so much for you."

Johanna smiled. "Oh I didn't have a problem with meeting you; the idea didn't bother me at all. I'm willing to take him to meet my grandmother if it'll make him feel better. As for the discord; it's minor and it's over, and I figure it didn't really have all that much to do with you. I figure it was more about us and what we're not but what we keep being accused of being."

"I see," the old woman said kindly. "I guess Jimmy's acting like his mother today. Elizabeth can be very thin skinned at times. I'm afraid she's passed that trait on. He's usually better at suppressing his mother's traits though. I guess we caught him on a bad day."

Jim smirked as he looked across the table at his colleague. "Is this my punishment? Do you feel better now?"

"A little," she admitted; "Although it wasn't my intention to punish you. I just wanted to clear things up for you and not leave any doubts. I feel bad that people bother you so much about me, Jim."

"It's not you!" he exclaimed. "You don't need to feel bad about anything. What's gotten into you this week, Jo?"

"I told you what my problem is," she stated. "What's yours today?"

"Alright," Lilly said; wrapping a knuckle against the table. "Let's not bicker. I think maybe the problem is that you both want to be something more than what you are but you don't want to admit it and you don't want to hear about it so I'm not going to bother discussing it because it would be fruitless and probably just cause more trouble between you. Let's change the subject."

Shame colored Johanna's cheeks; this wasn't the place for her and Jim to be starting another argument. What had gotten into either one of them tonight?

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Beckett," she said sincerely. "My mother didn't raise me to argue at a table I'm a guest at. I guess I'm not myself today."

Lilly reached over and patted her hand. "Don't you worry about that, sweetie; a little drama at dinner keeps things lively. I just didn't mean to cause trouble between you and Jimmy."

"Oh it's not you," she assured. "It was probably bound to happen. It's dumb anyway; let's just forget it."

"Yeah, Grandma; let's just forget it," Jim agreed.

She sighed. "If you insist."

"We insist," he replied.

Johanna shot him an apologetic look and he tried to reassure her with a smile, but he had a feeling the gesture had fallen flat as her foot began to tap beneath the table.

---

Dinner continued on in what Jim deemed as an awkward fashion as he listened to his grandmother do a more in-depth questioning of Johanna. She asked her about her family, her education and work. She inquired about her hobbies and talents; the books she read and the television shows she liked. Johanna didn't seem bothered by any of it; answering every question and asking a few of her own; but to Jim, it felt like Lilly was sizing her up to be the next member of the family; seeing how her personality and interests would mesh with everyone else. The idea picked at that throbbing nerve that he kept trying to ignore and it irritated him.

"Grandma, you sound like you're interrogating her," Jim stated; interrupting their conversation.

"I am not," Lilly retorted as Johanna looked at him oddly.

"Yes you are. I'm surprised you don't have her filling out an application."

"An application for what?"

"For whatever you have in mind," he replied.

"Jimmy!" she chastened; "You're being ridiculous tonight. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing; I just think you need to stop questioning Johanna."

"I'm not bothered by her questions," Johanna stated. "It's not like you're participating in the conversation."

He gave a hint of a smirk. "In that case, I'm sorry I interrupted."

"You should be," Lilly replied. "When two ladies are enjoying their conversation, you ought to have sense enough to let them be. She was telling me about her grandmother in Brooklyn and I was finding it very interesting. Sophia is a lady I'd like to know; I think we could be good friends."

"I'm sorry; please continue with your gossip," he responded.

Johanna shot him a look that he couldn't quite decipher but he had a feeling it couldn't be good.

"Lilly, I wanted to thank you for helping with the research about my grandmother Sarah," Johanna told her.

Lilly patted her hand. "That was no trouble, dear. I was glad to do it, but like my grandson, I wish we could've given you more."

"You gave me plenty," she replied; "Far more than I had."

The old woman smiled and her eyes turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry about the loss of your grandfather, Johanna."

"Thank you," she murmured; feeling a twinge of grief.

"Are you doing alright?" Lilly asked.

She smiled softly and gently gripped the hand that had curled around hers. "I'm okay…fortunately I have a few good friends who help me get through it," she answered; her gaze darting to Jim.

Lilly followed her gaze. "So Jimmy's only recently taken leave of his senses?"

Johanna nodded. "It seems to be a new development this week."

"I see," the older woman said as she eyed her grandson. "We'll have to see what we can do about restoring him to reason."

Jim released a weighted sigh. "I'm not as bad as you two are making me out to be."

"I call things as I see them," Lilly remarked; "And I'm looking at you, James Robert, and seeing someone who needs to sort out what his problem is instead of taking it out on other people. I wanted this to be a nice meal but you've sat there scowling all evening, making this poor girl so uncomfortable that she's going to have the sole of her shoe tapped out by the time she gets home. What your reason is, I don't know; surely it isn't an offense to introduce your friends to your grandmother. You have done it before, you know. You're making me mighty ashamed of you tonight, Jimmy; and you just wait until I tell your father."

Johanna was studiously avoiding his gaze by pretending to admire the rose pattern on the wall border; while his grandmother's blue eyes bore into him with enough force to make him squirm.

"Does that mean I'm not getting any dessert?" he asked.

"God knows I shouldn't give you any but I'm not going to deprive Johanna. With that tiny waist of hers she needs all the desserts she can get," his grandmother stated as she rose from the table; picking up her plate and snatching Jim's as well. She reached for Johanna's but the younger woman kept it from her grasp; rising from her seat as well.

"I'll help you," Johanna told her.

Jim contemplated smacking his head off the table while they were gone but he figured it wouldn't do him any good. The women returned after a few minutes; Johanna carrying three small plates and Lilly following behind her with the pie.

"Do you know how to make a cherry pie, Johanna?" his grandmother asked as she began to slice the pie.

"No; that's the one pie I don't know how to make. My mother doesn't care for cherries so she never made it."

"Cherry pie is Jimmy's favorite," Lilly stated as she thumped a plate down in front of him.

"I know," Johanna replied; accepting her own plate. "He usually always orders it for dessert when we eat together."

"But it's never as good as yours, Grandma," Jim said as he caught her eye.

"Don't try to suck up to me now," Lilly retorted; "It's too late. Johanna, you'll have to come over one day and I'll teach you how to make a cherry pie."

"I'd like that but I don't think Jim's going to bring me back."

"You don't need him to bring you; you just come on over on your own. I'm here all the time just about; except for Friday nights when me and girls play Bingo."

"I'll keep that in mind," Johanna replied.

---

After they had eaten their pie and Lilly had tormented her grandson by dragging out the photo albums and telling a few stories, Jim declared it was time to go. He stood by quietly as Johanna thanked his grandmother for dinner and then willingly stepped into the embrace Lilly offered her.

The old woman then turned to her grandson, who gave her a quick hug, obviously in hopes of saving himself, she thought to herself. "You and I are going to have a talk very soon," Lilly said sternly as she met his eye.

Jim smiled. "I'm looking forward to it."

"You won't be once I'm done with you."

"Well I guess not; if it's over than there's nothing to look forward to anymore,' he quipped.

Lilly gave him an exasperated look as she slapped him upside his head.

"Hey!" he exclaimed; rubbing the spot she had made contact with.

"Johanna, if he gets out of line, you just wham him upside the head," Lilly told her. "It'll do him good and if you're lucky, it'll knock his brain back in place."

Johanna gave a soft laugh. "It's tempting."

"Don't fight the temptation, just do it."

Jim kissed Lilly's cheek. "And on that note, goodnight, Grandma."

"Goodnight, kids. Jimmy, you drive carefully and you be nice to her!"

"Yes, Grandma," he stated obediently; having a feeling that the drive home was probably going to be a quiet one.

---

Johanna fished her keys out of her purse as Jim neared her building. As he pulled up in front of it, she laid her hand on his wrist, keeping him from shutting off the car. "You don't have to walk me in," she stated.

The remark struck him like a blow and his head snapped toward her. "Why not?"

"Because there's no need. I'm a big girl; I've found my way to the door many times on my own. No one's going to bother me."

"But I always walk you to your door," Jim protested; while silently adding that he usually followed her through her door half the time. "If this is about the argument…"

"The argument is over," Johanna interrupted. "It's done with. I just think it would be best if we say goodnight here."

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

She swallowed hard; it wouldn't be easy to say the words that were forming on her tongue and she hoped they wouldn't cause irreparable harm to their relationship. "Because I don't want you to walk me to my door tonight," she said softly.

Jim felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach and his face must've registered that feeling, he thought; because she quickly looked away and fumbled for the door handle. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her from making her escape.

"Give me a reason, Jo."

"I don't really have a reason…it's just something I feel tonight."

"Johanna," he breathed; making her eyes close for a moment. "I'm sorry about tonight. It didn't go the way I would've liked."

"I'm sorry too," she murmured. "It wasn't exactly what I had in mind either. I think maybe it would be best if we left family out of the equation of our friendship."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning I don't think you should invite me to anymore family dinners or picnics."

"Everything was fine yesterday! We had a good time…or at least I thought you did."

"I did have a good time but I can't exactly shake the feeling that you didn't really want me there."

"How can you say that?"

"It's just something I feel."

Jim sighed heavily as he shut off the car. "I told you that I wanted you to be there with me. I told you I wanted you there tonight."

"Saying it and meaning it are two different things."

"If you feel that way, then why did go with me, Johanna? Why didn't you call and give me some lame excuse about why you couldn't go yesterday and today?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…maybe it was stupidity or maybe I just didn't like the idea of lying to you like that. I thought maybe things would be okay; which they were yesterday, at least I thought so but maybe I missed something, and we both know that tonight has been a disaster…"

"It wasn't that bad," he said; cutting off her words.

"Felt like it to me."

He shifted in his seat so that he could face her; his hand moving toward her of its own accord; a knuckle brushing against her cheek. "Sweetheart, I know you have a lot of things going on in your mind lately…and maybe it's making you read things the wrong way."

She shook her head. "I read things just fine."

"Normally I'd agree with that; but not this time. Your perception is off with this one. Why wouldn't I want you with me?"

"Because you don't like the implications," she stated. "We've already been over that."

"It's not the way it seems. I'm happy to take you anywhere I go; I'm happy to be in your company as much as possible. I just wish people would mind their business a little more and let us be. They don't need to hound us and pick at something they probably don't even understand."

"Do we understand it, Jim?"

"I thought we did," he replied after taking a moment to ponder the question.

Johanna wasn't too sure about that but she wasn't sure she wanted to push too much in that area. She didn't feel prepared for it and so she fell silent.

"I think you don't want to be invited to any family functions because you're afraid you might have to invite me to one of yours to keep things even," he remarked.

Her eyes snapped back to his. "Don't make a joke of this."

"Am I? I think you have a problem introducing your friends to your family."

"Really?" she asked dryly. "You've met my mother and my brother and sister."

"I met your mother because she happened to be staying with you when I picked you up for that party. I met your sister because she crashed our evening on your birthday and I met your brother because he stopped me to ask where your office was. Those weren't voluntary introductions, Johanna."

"And yours were?"

"In some ways; you didn't meet my mother and sister by accident."

"I met them because I was doing you a favor. If you hadn't needed that favor, I probably wouldn't have met them at all; the same goes for Natalie and the kids. If none of that babysitting business had happened, I wouldn't have been invited to that picnic yesterday."

"You don't know that."

She scoffed. "I'm pretty sure I do."

"Hey, you had a whole houseful of relatives you could've introduced me to the other day but you didn't. You made it clear that you wanted me to stay in the car."

"I only intended to be a minute and besides, you ought to thank me for not exposing you to them. Now isn't a good time for introductions in my family, Jim. They're all crazed with either greed or disgust at the moment."

"When am I going to meet your father, Johanna?" he asked; pressing forward, although why, he wasn't sure.

She looked him straight in the eye; a spark of temper flaring in the depths of her green gaze. "Never if I can help it."

"Why?"

Johanna laughed but there was no humor in the action. "Do you really need to ask? Do you really think he's somebody I enjoy introducing to people? Do you really think I want him to meet you, so he can tell you every little thing that he sees wrong with me. So he can treat you badly just because you're someone I care about. I wouldn't willingly introduce you to Frank McKenzie even if you paid me to," she exclaimed; her voice cracking on her last statement; her chin trembling slightly and angry tears filling her eyes.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," he murmured. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought up your father. Please don't cry…do anything but that. I'd rather you hit me…do you want to hit me instead?"

"No," she replied; a small laugh breaking through the shudder of a sob that was being swallowed. "But now you see why we should leave family out of this."

Jim shook his head. "But I care about you," he said; his fingers capturing a lock of her hair and playing with it.

"So?"

"So, I don't want to hide your existence from my family. I care about them and I care about you…and I shouldn't have to keep you separate from each other."

"If the accusations and the teasing gets to be too much…that offer of backing off will still be on the table, Jim," she stated quietly.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore. We both agreed that wasn't what we want."

"I know we did; but I just want you to know that you can always change your mind. Just let me know first so it won't be such a surprise when you start avoiding me."

"I'm not going to start avoiding you. We're not changing ourselves to suit everyone else. We already decided on that so let's not go digging into it again. I thought we declared our fight over…a few times."

"We did…but maybe it's like an earthquake; you have aftershocks afterwards."

"I hope they end soon," he remarked.

"Me too."

He took her hand; his thumb caressing her skin softly. "What's wrong with us this week, Jo?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "Maybe there are too many voices getting inside our heads…shaking things up and picking at things that maybe shouldn't be picked at. Maybe we're just not ourselves this week."

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I."

Jim leaned toward her and brushed his lips against her cheek; knowing that the line had been drawn for tonight and that her lips were probably off limits despite those heated kisses they had shared earlier. "I'll fix it," he promised.

"How?"

"I don't know yet; but I'll think of something."

Johanna smiled slightly. "I hope it's something good."

"I promise. Is this discussion closed now?"

"God I hope so," she sighed.

"Then you'll let me walk you to your door?"

Johanna glanced at him and her resolve melted as she looked into his eyes and saw all the things she felt reflected there. He was sorry and unsure, just like she was…and there was affection…understanding…hints of frustration.

"If you must," she whispered.

"I must," he stated.

As she waited for him to round the car to open her door for her, she wondered if she had made the right decision; but then his hand wrapped around hers, filling her with warmth and security as always, and she decided that she had. She drew the line at kissing goodnight; making sure his lips hit her cheek once they said goodnight outside her door. She thought she saw the flicker of disappointment in his eyes…but that might've been wishful thinking on her part.

After Johanna had changed clothes and settled in for the night; she picked up the phone and dialed Sharon's number.

"How did it go?" Sharon asked once she heard her voice.

She sighed heavily. "It was a disaster."

"Why? What happened?"

"We fought in the car while sitting outside his grandmother's house," Johanna answered.

"About what?"

"I found out what his problem is or at least part of it," she replied before telling Sharon the details of their fight.

"Well if he was kissing you, it can't be as big of a problem as he's making it out to be," her friend remarked.

"It's not the kissing that he has a problem with; it's that people assume we're together and I guess they hound him about it."

"Then he ought to do something about it."

"I told him we could just not see each other so much; but he didn't seem to like that idea."

"Good; because if he had, I might have to go hit him. What about the dinner itself?"

"His grandmother saw us arguing in the car…and kissing."

"I guess that didn't go over to well with him?"

"I don't know; he seemed to deal with it okay. I thought I was over it when we decided to go in but apparently I wasn't, because when Lilly asked about the argument, I told her everything about it and made it really clear that we are not in a relationship…and I mean I spelled it out in very clear terms."

Sharon laughed. "I can totally see you doing that; and you should've known you weren't over it that quickly."

"I know; but I'm sure I didn't make the best impression," Johanna replied.

"What did she say?"

Johanna told her about Lilly's response and the rest of the meal. "I don't think you made a bad impression at all," her friend told her; "Sounds to me like she appreciated your honesty and your sassiness."

She laughed. "But still; it probably wasn't the best thing to do, and then we kind of argued again in the car when he brought me home."

"Maybe the two of you should stay out of the car," Sharon suggested with a laugh.

"Maybe we should."

"So what was this argument about? A continuation of the previous one?"

"Pretty much," Johanna said before giving her the details of that one as well. "We keep saying the argument is over…and then it's not."

"Do you want it to be over?" the secretary asked.

"Of course I want it to be over; I don't want to fight with him. I have enough people to fight with. Why wouldn't I want it to be over?"

"Maybe you're hoping that it'll push him to make your relationship something more."

"That's not going to happen, Sharon. I think that's the whole point of the problem and the arguments. He doesn't want anything more to happen between us right now…if ever."

"I have no doubt that it feels that way to you…but maybe that's not the case at all. Maybe he's just worried about making a change like that. The two of you are pretty comfortable…maybe that makes it hard to make a choice about where to go."

"But I haven't asked him for anything. I'm not pushing for anything more than what we have."

"You're not; but other people are."

"That's not my fault."

"Which is why he keeps telling you that the problem isn't you. The problem is him and whatever voices that have gotten into his head. You gave him an out, he didn't take it."

"So?"

"So obviously he doesn't want to lose you and he's trying to work it out. Maybe now that it's out in the open between you now, he'll be able to sort things out and get back to normal…until then; you're just going to have to ride it out, Jo."

She sighed. "It suddenly feels like things have gotten complicated."

"It'll be okay."

"What if it isn't?"

"If this continues to linger, then start pulling back from him and see what happens. You're not the problem and you're not doing anything you haven't always done. Those arguments don't sound like they were detrimental so try to relax and let them go. You two were probably due for a spat anyway."

"Probably," she agreed. "How did it go with Phil?"

Sharon scoffed softly. "We had a big fight last night. Apparently I'm never satisfied in his way of thinking, and I nag too much and I'm suffocating."

"Sharon, I'm sorry," Johanna said sincerely. "I guess I gave you bad advice last night."

"No you didn't. It was probably going to happen sooner or later anyway; better to do it and get it done, you know."

"So what happened?"

"I told him that he was an ass and that if he was done using me than he should've just said so…and then I told him we were done and I threw him out," she said; her voice cracking.

"I'm so sorry," she told her friend again. "I just don't understand what's gotten into him lately."

"Me neither," Sharon cried. "I thought everything was going so well…I thought maybe he was the one…I wanted him to be the one."

"I know," Johanna said softly. "Do you think maybe he feels that way too and he's just got cold feet about it? Maybe he wants to move to the next step but he's scared of it."

"I don't know. It's not like I proposed to him. I just don't know what happened. Maybe there's someone else."

"I don't think there is," she told her.

"How do you know?"

"I asked someone close to the situation."

Sharon laughed through her tears. "You what?"

"I knew that even though you didn't come right out and say it, that you had that thought in the back of your mind…so I asked Jim yesterday if he knew anything. He said that Phil wasn't seeing anyone else. He didn't give me the impression that he was lying, and I don't think Phil could hide something like that from the boys club for too long."

"Thanks," Sharon sniffed.

"That's what I'm here for," Johanna told her.

"And it seems like we only have each other," her best friend replied. "Damn men, if they have cold feet, why don't they put on some socks?"

She laughed. "Because that would be entirely too easy."

"That's true."

"Anything else I can do for you?"

"Well I'm suddenly free for lunch tomorrow."

"You got it," Johanna told her. "My treat."

"I'm looking forward to it. Don't let this problem of Jim's get to you, okay? It'll work out."

"I'll do my best; and don't worry, Phil will come around in a few days when he realizes what an ass he's been and what its cost him."

"I guess we'll see about that. I didn't sleep last night so I'm going to get off of here and go try to sleep now."

"Goodnight, Sharon."

"Goodnight, Jo."

Johanna hung up the phone and sighed deeply once more before getting up and heading to the kitchen. It seemed like a good night for making cupcakes.

---

In the solitude of his apartment, Jim sat on his sofa and sipped his beer as the television played on without much notice. His mind seemed stuck on Johanna, but that wasn't a surprise after how badly everything had gone that night. They kept saying that their argument was over, and yet it didn't really feel like it was. That thought unnerved him. He didn't want to feel at odds with Johanna; it wasn't her fault, she hadn't started this.

It was Jeff's fault…at least partially. He just had to keep pushing the issue the other day; plucking a nerve better left alone and in turn, making him distance himself from Johanna. Distance was the last thing he wanted in regard to Johanna McKenzie. But he supposed it wasn't fair to only blame his best friend for the constant buzz in his mind…although the buzzing hadn't been so loud before Jeff had turned it up full blast. A weighted breath escaped him. He didn't need Jeff to tell him that his feelings for Johanna were outside the norm of a casual friendship. He knew it went deeper…he knew it dipped into areas that were beyond friendship. He cared for her far more than he probably should've allowed himself to…but he had…and now he had that occasional loud buzz in his brain.

He didn't want the distance she offered so graciously; he wanted a lot of things, but not that. He wanted her company; the sound of her voice, the musicality of her laughter, the sparkle and warmth that lingered in her eyes. He wanted to protect her; to make her happy. He wanted to make her laugh; wipe away her tears if they insisted on falling. He wanted their conversations…her kiss…and there were those times when he wanted nothing more than to make love to her. Jim took a long sip of his beer as that thought continued to roll through his mind, but then he brushed it aside. They weren't ready to cross that line…were they?

He shook his head; no, they probably weren't ready for that. That would only make things difficult…although controlling the urge to cross that line was sometimes difficult too. He didn't know why the hell he was letting people get to him this week; and knowing that he was taking it out on Johanna made him feel even worse. She had enough problems right now; she didn't need more, especially from him. Didn't he always promise her that he was the one person besides Sharon that she could always count on? Instead of driving them into an argument as he had done earlier, he should've spent that energy thinking up a plan to make her feel better; a plan to help her achieve what she had been talking about in the park. He should've been elaborating upon those little seeds of ideas that had flicked through his mind while they were sitting together under that tree. He should've been concentrating on what she needed…not what other people were thinking.

He had to find a way to make things better for her; he owed her that, although he was sure that Johanna would argue to the contrary and say that he owed her nothing. But he did owe her in his way of thinking. She had been there for him through every moment of his father's illness. She consoled him, cooked for him, helped him juggle work. She had given him the comfort of her arms and her home; she had straightened up his office. She listened to every rant and fear and memory. She had done everything she could possibly do…and she had done it all without even being asked.

It wasn't that it had been much of a surprise; Johanna was always there when he needed her; always willing to help or listen. Her loyalty and friendship knew no bounds and it was time he showed her how much he appreciated it…and that it went both ways. He had to give her what she needed…wanted to be the one to give her that…and it shouldn't matter what anyone thought of their relationship.

What they had was special; he wasn't too stupid to realize that; which was why he wanted to protect it. There was no need to rush; if something was going to happen, it would, it didn't need to be forced or planned. He liked what they had; it felt good and right…and it was theirs…it was between them and no one else. The opinions of friends and family shouldn't hold the power over him that he was allowing. It wasn't any of their business. The only person who had a right to complain about their relationship status was Johanna, and so far she hadn't said anything…with the exception of his recent behavior.

Johanna was justified in calling him on that; he reasoned; but even in the course of their discussion that evening, she hadn't made any demands. She had merely offered the option of spending time apart if that's what he needed. In Jim's mind that wasn't an option at all, but it was just like her to give him that choice. It wasn't something she wanted but if he needed it, she would give it to him. She hadn't made any statements about needing or wanting more than what they currently had…so she must be satisfied with their relationship the way it was.

So why had he been acting so stupid the last few days? Why did he have to let people bother him so much? Most likely because it was a trait his mother had and she had passed it on to him. Jim frowned and took a long sip of his beer. That wasn't a pleasant thought. Maybe he really did need to get away for awhile; away from family, work, and nosy friends. That's what Johanna needed too…and if they both needed the same thing, then there was no reason why they couldn't have it together.

Jim smiled; an idea unfolding rapidly in his mind. They could take their vacation time and just slip off together somewhere. It would be fun and adventurous; or at least he'd do everything in his power to make sure she had fun and got to relax. They didn't have to tell anyone that they were going together…they didn't even have to tell anyone where they were going. The idea was exciting; they could pull this off, he could give her the rebellion she so obviously craved. All they had to do was compare schedules and pick the best time to take off…and of course they'd have to arrange to both be off at the same time but he felt confidant that he could arrange that too. Charles Patterson wasn't the only one who had a friend upstairs in the hall of big wigs as Jeff called them. He had a friend in Ivan Parker; and Ivan owed him a favor. His smile widened; yes; this could be done.

He was on his feet and looking for his keys before he could even think about what he was doing. The urge to go let her in on a small amount of his idea was too great to ignore, but then he recalled that she wasn't all that pleased with him tonight…and that despite saying things were fine, they felt like they weren't entirely. He sighed; his momentum momentarily halted. Well he'd just have to apologize again and maybe he should take a peace offering as well. He had to smooth things over so that his plan would work. Hs plan would fix everything. They'd go away together; get away from all the noise that found its way into their heads and they'd get back to being themselves. Another smile tugged at his lips; his momentum restored even though a glance at his watch told him it was late. She'd forgive him for coming back once she knew that he was over his stupidity…and that he was going to keep his promise to fix things.

---

Johanna was still pulling on her robe as she entered her living room and turned on a light. She didn't know who the hell was beating on her door at half past midnight but they better have a damn good reason. She had just finally started to drift off to sleep when the pounding had started. "Who is it?" she asked sharply as she approached the door.

"It's me," Jim answered.

Something must be wrong; she thought as she quickly released the locks and opened the door. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said as he stepped inside her apartment.

"Nothing?" she questioned. "Do you know what time it is? Did you go get drunk after you dropped me off?"

"No," he answered; keeping one hand concealed from her view, not that she was paying his hands any mind as she raked a hand through her tousled hair.

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure. I had a beer at home while I did some thinking but you know it takes way more than one beer to affect me."

Johanna's gaze darted to the clock. "Jim, it's 12:36...what's going on?"

He raised his hand from his side and held out a red rose to her. "My father always tells me that when you fight with a woman, you should buy her a flower so she'll know that your apology is sincere," he explained.

She smiled softly as she accepted the rose. "I thought we were past that little tiff we had."

"I did too, but then it didn't really feel that way during dinner... or when I brought you home…or after I left. I'm sorry, Johanna...I don't know if I said that earlier, but I am. I never meant for us to fight tonight. I don't know what brought that on..."

"It's okay, maybe it was me. Maybe you were right and I took things the wrong way. I guess I have been out of sorts lately."

"No, it was my fault," Jim stated. "I was making something out of nothing."

"We all do sometimes," Johanna answered as she touched the silken petals of her flower. "It's behind us now."

"Is it?"

"Yes...don't you think so?"

"I'm hoping it is," he answered. "I don't want you to be mad at me. I don't want us to be at odds with one another."

"I'm not mad at you," she said softly as her eyes locked upon his.

"Good," he replied; relief spreading through him as he reached for her and pulled her into his arms.

She settled against him comfortably, breathing in his scent as her cheek pressed against his shoulder. "Technically, it wasn't our first fight," she remarked quietly.

"What do you mean it wasn't our first? We agreed that case bickering doesn't count."

"It doesn't; but we argued that night at the bar...that night Brad dumped me."

"That doesn't count," he responded; his arms tightening around her.

"Why not?"

"Because if we didn't bother to remember it earlier it's because it must not have mattered all that much. It wasn't really a fight."

"Then what was it?"

"It was two people in bad moods, drowning their sorrows in alcohol and taking it out on each other. It's totally different."

"If you say so," she replied; although she could see his point. That argument had been different; perhaps even petty in some ways...but the one they'd had earlier had been deeper in meaning. It had been about them and what they were...and what they weren't; even if they shied away from saying so as they tried to define the problem.

She pulled herself out of his embrace and glanced at him; a small smile tugging at her lips. "So is this why you came back tonight?" she asked; gesturing at the rose in her hand.

"That's one reason."

Her brow rose. "There's another reason?"

"Yeah; you said work had been slowing down; do you have any weeks in your schedule that don't have much going on? Things you could push back?"

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"I need to know when you have some flexible time in your schedule, Jo."

"Why?"

"Sweetheart, are you going to answer all my questions with questions of your own?"

"Jim, what's this all about?"

"Just answer the question."

She wracked her brain; trying to come up with an answer; not really inclined to go rummaging through her briefcase for her planner. "I don't know; maybe late August. I'd have to check my schedule with Sharon to be sure. Why? Do you want me to work on something with you?"

"Maybe," he answered; a mischievous grin on his lips.

She eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure you only had one beer?"

"Positive."

"What are you up to, Jim?"

"I can't tell you yet," he answered. "I have to make sure everything is going to work out just right."

"Maybe it would work out if you'd tell me what's going on."

He laughed quietly as he took her face in his hands. "Good things come to those who wait, Jo," he said before pressing a chaste kiss against her lips. "I'll pick you up in the morning for work and we'll go over our schedules."

"And then you'll tell me what's going on here?"

"Once I have everything worked out, you'll be the first to know...maybe you should go over your schedule with Sharon alone. I shouldn't be there. You see what's going on and then tell me and I'll compare it with mine and see what we can do...I'll get it arranged one way or another."

"Get what arranged?"

"Don't worry, you'll like it," he promised; a sparkle still in his eyes that made her smile. "I have a plan. I'm going to fix things, remember."

"Okay, whatever you say," she laughed.

Jim brushed a kiss against her cheek. "I'll go now so you can go back to bed; lock the door."

Johanna nodded and followed him to the door. "Thanks for the rose...and for stopping by."

Jim chuckled. "I detect sarcasm on that last bit."

She grinned. "Sarcasm runs high after midnight."

He smiled; reaching out and skimming a knuckle against her cheek. "Goodnight, beautiful."

"That's a new one," she replied.

"I like to keep you on your toes," he quipped.

"New nicknames are good for that, huh?"

"That's what I've heard."

She moved closer to him; brushing a hand against his chest as she held his gaze. "I'm fond of the one I already have," she said softly.

"Sassy?"

"Oh I like that one; but that's not the one I meant."

"Which one do you mean?" he asked; having a feeling he knew, but unable to suppress the need to hear it.

"Sweetheart," she whispered.

He took her hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it. "You'll always be sweetheart to me."

"I'm glad."

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

Johanna rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss against his cheek. "Goodnight, honey," she said softly. "Be careful getting home."

He nodded as he gave her a smile; figuring he better go quickly before he begged her to let him stay. Johanna locked the door behind him and then leaned against it for a moment. She didn't know what he was up to...but she was looking forward to finding out.