Reflections Chapter 22 - Somewhere With You Part 3, a castle fanfic

Chapter 22- Somewhere With You- Part 3

The next morning, Johanna woke to sunlight in her face and the sound of voices somewhere close by. She shielded her eyes as she opened them, finding herself alone in the backseat of the car. She tensed slightly as she looked to the front of the vehicle and didn't find Jim. Sleeping in the car hadn't been very appealing to her but they had been too tired to keep going. Somehow they stumbled upon a state park and Jim had found a place overlooking a lake to park the car. They had climbed into the back and curled up together as he assured her that they'd be safe there. His assurances had done little to ease her mind as her eyes had taken in the darkness of the wooded areas and the sounds of nocturnal wildlife had filled her ears. Jim had gone to sleep without any trouble. She had laid awake until dawn when her eyelids finally rebelled against her and closed. Johanna could still hear voices; both of them male and she was certain that one of them was Jim.

She sat up and brushed her hair back from her face before climbing back up front. "Jim?" she called out the open window, catching sight of him a few paces away, talking to a man in a uniform. At first she thought that man was a cop but as she studied him, she surmised that he was a park ranger.

"It's alright, Johanna," Jim replied as he turned in her direction. "I'll be there in a minute."

Satisfied with his answer, Johanna settled back against the seat and studied her surroundings. The lake was set aglow by the early morning sunlight and on the far side it was framed by mountains and lush forestry. On the side facing the car, the lake was bordered by a small white sandy beach. She smiled; what had been so foreboding in the dark looked idyllic in the light. Reaching for the tote bag that rested on the floor of the passenger side, she took out her camera and got out of the car. She walked to the edge of the parking lot and snapped a few pictures of the scene. On her way back to the car, she took note of the fact that the ranger was headed back for his jeep and that Jim was now standing by the driver's side door. "Are we in trouble for being here?" she asked quietly as she caught his eye.

"No," he replied with a shake of his head. "He just wanted to know what we were doing here. I told him that we got lost and were too tired to go further. He was understanding and let it go and he told me how to get to town."

"Are we still in Maryland?" she questioned as they got into the car.

Jim nodded. "Yeah; we're in the western part of the state. When we get into the main part of town, we can get something to eat and get going again or we can find somewhere to stay for a few hours so you can get some more sleep. I know you didn't sleep last night...I didn't sleep too well myself."

Johanna scoffed. "It seemed like you were doing okay to me."

"My back and shoulder beg to differ," he replied as they pulled out onto the main road.

"When are you going to admit that you pulled something when you were moving that cabinet for Vivien? It's not like it's something to be ashamed of. It doesn't mean you aren't strong...it just means you moved the wrong way."

"I'm fine," he insisted. "It's just that sleeping in the car wasn't entirely comfortable and there was a bit of a fight with that idiot."

Not too much of a fight, thankfully, she thought to herself. "You still slept better than I did...in fact you didn't seem to have any problem at all. I fell on you once while reaching for my magazine and you didn't even flinch."

"I know you fell on me."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

He grinned. "Well I figure when your pretend wife is crawling on you, you shouldn't say anything just in case it's leading to something."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"Not nearly as disappointed as I was. I then laid there awake wondering if you seriously thought you were going to be able to see enough in the moonlight to read."

"I made out a few things," she replied. "Mainly I was just looking at the pictures. I was bored...if I had known you were awake..."

"How could I sleep with you turning pages in my ear?"

"I turned the pages as quietly as I could!"

Jim laughed. "I know."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was hoping that if you thought I was asleep, that eventually you'd go to sleep too. I wasn't going to let anything happen to you, Jo."

"I know that, but that doesn't make it any easier to go to sleep in a strange place in the back of a car."

"I know," he replied. "We'll have somewhere to stay tonight; I promise that we won't have to sleep in the car again."

"It's okay; we didn't anticipate it this time."

"So do you want to get breakfast and then get going again?"

A sign staked along the road caught her eye and she smiled. "They're having a carnival here!"

"So?"

"So I want to go," Johanna replied.

"Really?"

"Yes! Please, Jim? You said we'd stop for the next thing I found interesting. It doesn't open until later in the afternoon. We could get breakfast and then find a place to stay and get some more sleep. Then we can go to the carnival and stay here tonight and then get back on the road tomorrow."

"You really want to go to a carnival?"

"Yes; I always loved going to the carnival when I was a kid. Please? I did stay at a haunted hotel with you..."

Jim smiled. "Alright, sweetheart; we'll go to the carnival."

She slid across the seat and wrapped her arms around him in the best embrace she could manage as he drove and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

"Whatever makes you happy, Jo. If a carnival is what does it, then a trip to the carnival it shall be."

"It'll be fun," she proclaimed.

"I'm sure it will be," he replied; wrapping an arm her for a quick squeeze as he stopped for a light. "Everything seems to be fun with you."

After finding a place to stay and getting a few more hours sleep, Jim and Johanna headed out to the carnival. The crowds were still light for the time being and they walked around with ease; enjoying the fact that they didn't have to wait in long lines to get on the rides. Jim had to admit that he was glad that she had insisted on staying for the event; he probably hadn't been to a carnival since he was a teenager and he was having a good time.

They paused and surveyed the Ferris wheel as Johanna finished off the cotton candy she had bought and he savored the last bites of his candy apple. "Do you want to give it a try?" he asked as they tossed their trash in a garbage can.

"I don't know," she said hesitantly while continuing to study the ride.

"It's not as high as the one at Coney Island."

"I know."

"I'll hold on to you the entire time if you want to try it. I promise nothing will happen."

Johanna shifted on her feet; there was a part of her that wanted to try…but she also didn't want to look like a panic stricken fool if she did.

Jim took her hand; taking her silence as a no. "Come on, let's look around some more.'

"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "Let's try it."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I'm sure."

"Really sure?"

"Yes; let's do this before I talk myself out of it."

"Okay," he replied; leading her up to the gate for the Ferris wheel.

True to his word, Jim kept her tucked snug against his side, his arm wrapped around her tightly. Johanna's fingers gripped the bar tightly as the Ferris wheel slowly began to rise. "Be brave," she told herself as she felt her stomach flip. As they moved higher, she squeezed her eyes shut. "Be brave; don't get sick; that would be embarrassing."

"Are you doing okay?" Jim asked as he rubbed her arm.

"I'm fine."

"Can you say that with your eyes open?"

"Depends; how high up are we?"

"We're at the top."

"Then I can't say it with my eyes open."

"Okay," he said with a chuckle. "Do you want me to tell him to let us off when we get down there?"

"No; I'm going to see it through," Johanna stated.

"With your eyes closed?"

She cautiously opened her eyes. "I think I can handle having them open for half of the ride but after that they have to be closed."

"As long as you're okay, that's all that matters to me."

"I'm fine."

They spent the rest of the ride in silence and he graciously pretended not to notice that she breathed a sigh of relief when the ride came to a stop and they got off. "Where to next?" Jim asked; taking her hand as they walked away from the Ferris wheel.

Her eyes scanned the area, a smile breaking across her face as she caught sight of something. "The carousel!" she exclaimed; dragging him with her as she set off its direction.

"The carousel," he repeated as if she were crazy. "You want to ride the carousel?"

"Yes! It was always my favorite when I was a little girl. Come on, you have to ride the carousel with me."

"I don't think so."

She shot him a look. "And just why not?"

"Because…that's for kids."

"Technically, just about all of the rides are for kids…and there are just as many adults on them."

"I'm not getting on the carousel."

"Oh yes, you are," Johanna told him.

"And just what makes you think I am?"

"Because I said so…and because I rode the Ferris wheel with you."

"I didn't make you. I was ready to walk away; you're the one who wanted to stay."

"Fine; you're riding the carousel with me because you don't want me to cry," she replied.

"You wouldn't cry!"

Johanna smirked at him. "I will; just try me."

He held her gaze; watching as she blinked rapidly in effort to conjure up those dramatic tears as she had in Pennsylvania. "Oh alright," he said somewhat grudgingly as her chin trembled.

"I knew you'd see it my way," she laughed as she dragged him the rest of the way.

Jim followed her up onto the platform of the ride and when Johanna hoisted herself up on a white painted horse; Jim climbed on behind her. "What are you doing?" she asked as his arms slipped around her waist. "You're supposed to get your own horse."

"No way; if I have to ride this thing, I'm doing it with you so everyone knows the only reason I'm here is because of you."

"Whatever works," she laughed as the ride began. "I guess you can pretend we're in a western and you're riding off with me."

"Am I an outlaw in this scenario or a good guy?"

"I was thinking a good guy, of course."

"The Lone Ranger?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of Marshal Dillon," she replied. "We watched Gunsmoke at my house."

Jim laughed. "We did too…but if I'm being the Marshal, I guess that makes you Miss Kitty."

"That suits me just fun…I'll add it to my list of aliases for this trip," Johanna giggled.

"You are racking up quite a list, Jo."

"So are you."

He grinned. "I think that's what makes it exciting."

"I agree," she smiled, leaning back against him.

"Look at that cute cat," Johanna said awhile later as she pointed as a wall of stuffed animal prizes.

Jim looked in the direction that she indicated and caught sight of the little stuffed tabby cat that had caught her eye. "You're still a little girl that wants a kitten, aren't you?" he teased.

"Maybe I am," she replied. "Maybe I would've felt better if I would've had a stuffed substitute. All we had were teddy bears and bunnies."

His eyes quickly scanned the booth to see what game had to be played in order to win. He smiled as he spied the pyramids of milk bottles and the baseballs on the counter. He could do this; it wouldn't be much of a challenge at all. "Do you want that cat?" he asked.

Johanna nodded. "I wouldn't mind having it."

"Then I'll win it for you," Jim declared as he tugged on her hand and pulled her toward the booth.

"Three balls for a quarter, five for seventy five cents," the man at the booth stated as he pointed at the baseballs. What will it be?"

Jim eyed the three pyramids and figured he'd be able to do it with one ball per pyramid. "Three," he answered as he laid down a quarter.

The man smirked a little as he sat three balls down in front of Jim. "You have to knock all of the bottles down you know."

"I know."

"And you think you can do it with just three balls?"

"I know how to pitch a baseball," Jim remarked as he picked up a ball. "I played baseball in high school."

Johanna laid a hand on his arm. "He's just trying to get you riled so you miss."

"Well he's in for a surprise," he replied as he hurled the first baseball at the bottles of the first pyramid. The top levels came tumbling down but the bottom row remained in tact. He frowned but threw the next ball at the center pyramid and managed to demolish it, making him feel like his luck was turning. The third ball sailed into the bottles but only managed to take down the top layers once again.

"So much for high school baseball," the carnival worker laughed.

Jim glared at him as he put down another quarter. "Three more."

Once again he failed in his mission to bring down all of the bottles and his third and fourth attempts were no better. "I'm guessing you weren't the star pitcher on your school team," the man working the booth taunted.

"Shut up," Jim stated as he dug seventy five cents out of his pocket. "Give me five this time."

"Don't let him get to you," Johanna soothed.

"He's not," he retorted as he gripped a baseball.

"Tell that to your face," Johanna thought to herself as she studied the tense line of his jaw and the snap of temper in his blue eyes as he concentrated on his goal. She continued to watch quietly, biting her lip at times to keep from laughing as his aggravation grew. The man at the booth kept taunting him and it didn't help matters but Jim wouldn't heed her advice to ignore him.

When he took yet another dollar out of his wallet; bringing his grand total up to $5.50, she knew she had to say something.

"How long are you going to do this, Jim?" she asked.

"Until I win," he said stubbornly.

"At the rate you're going that could be days," the worker laughed.

Jim picked up the baseball and tossed it in the air ominously. "You know, I could just as easily throw this ball at you."

"You wouldn't be the first."

"I can't say that I'm surprised."

Johanna tugged on his arm. "Come on, let's go do something else. You don't have to keep doing this."

"No. I'm not leaving until I win," he responded; gently shaking off her hand. "I can do this."

She sighed as he angrily eyed the milk bottle pyramids. "You know they rig this stuff. Probably no one wins."

"I resent that," the other man stated. "I run a clean game."

"Yeah right," she scoffed. "There's no way that those bottles on the bottom are the same as the ones at the top. They have to be weighted down somehow."

"I've got this," Jim insisted. "I'm going to win."

She fell silent as he drew back and threw the ball. The first pyramid crashed down and he smiled as he picked up the next ball. The second ball crashed into the center pyramid and knocked it apart. He had it this time, he thought to himself as he eyed his last target. He hurled the ball at the last batch of milk bottles and smiled smugly when they all crashed down. "Well you finally did it," the booth worker stated. "What prize would you like?"

"She wants the cat," he stated as he pointed to the stuffed animal on the wall.

"There you are," the man said as he grabbed the cat from the hook and handed it to him. "Joe DiMaggio wins a little kitty for his lady."

Jim glared at him. "If I catch you outside of this booth, I'm going to kick your ass."

"You'll have to take a number and get in line for that, buddy," he laughed.

"Can I have my cat?" Johanna asked; tugging on his arm in an attempt to get his attention off of his new nemesis.

He turned towards her and held the cat out to her. "Here, sweetheart; I told you I'd get it for you."

She smiled as she clutched the cat to her, and then being mindful that the booth worker was watching them, she laid her fingertips against his cheek and captured his lips in a kiss. The tension in his body melted away as his arms came around her. "Thank you," she murmured.

"No problem," he replied; while silently thinking that his shoulder was probably definitely going to feel all that throwing by morning.

"I'm proud of you," she stated with a warm smile as her fingers caressed his cheek.

He smiled. "For sticking it out?"

"That and for not killing him," she remarked with a nod in the booth worker's direction; knowing that he was listening to every word.

Jim grinned; amusement in his eyes. "Especially after that incident in Reno, right?"

Johanna laughed as she hugged her stuffed cat to her chest. "Oh yes; we definitely don't want a repeat of that incident in Reno."

The man at the booth looked at them wide eyed. "What happened in Reno?"

Jim glanced at him, schooling his features to be serious. "We can't talk about that. Come on, Bonnie; let's see what else we can find to do."

She giggled at the comment and the somewhat weary look on the man's face as Jim slipped his arm around her waist. She slipped her arm around him as well; her prize held tightly in the other as she smiled up at him. "Sounds like a plan."

Later on as Johanna browsed at some booths sat up by vendors selling their wares, Jim stopped to talk to two old men who had been giving directions to various places around town. He asked them about what the town had to offer and after they had given him a few suggestions and chatted a bit, the old man named Ace followed his gaze towards Johanna.

"Is that your girl you're keeping an eye on?" Ace asked quietly as he leaned closer.

Figuring that a short answer was better than an explanation that would most likely be laughed at, Jim nodded. "Yeah she is."

"I guess coming from New York City, you probably haven't taken her on a moonlit picnic, have you?"

"No I haven't," he replied, intrigued by the idea. "But I like the sound of it."

"With a pretty girl like that, I'm sure you do," Ace chuckled. "So here's what you do..."

Jim listened intently to the man's instructions and then smiled as he shook his hand and thanked him. The notion was quickly taking shape in his mind as he headed in Johanna's direction. He'd let her think that they were settled for the night and then he'd wait a short amount of time and then he'd surprise her.

"What are you grinning about?" Johanna asked as he came to a stop beside her without really realizing it.

He quickly shook off his thoughts and gave her his attention. "What's not to grin about? I'm here with you and we're having a good time."

She smiled. "You're getting good at being a pretend husband...I might get you trained right after all."

He laughed. "Am I the lump of clay that you're molding?"

Johanna linked her arm through his as they began to stroll the area. "I guess you could say that but don't go thinking it's an easy job because it's not."

"Could be worse," he replied. "It could be Jeff...he's a whole different kind of lump."

"Is that any way to talk about your best friend?" she laughed.

"He'd say the same about me."

"I know that you've said that you met Jeff during your senior year in high school, but you said that you didn't become best friends until college...how did that come to be?"

"I didn't mean it to sound like we weren't friends senior year, we were but we only had one or two classes together. In college we had a lot of classes together and we shared a dorm room, so then we were hanging out together a lot and going to the same parties and games and things like that. He's the best friend I ever had."

Johanna nodded. "You do seem like brothers."

"In our minds we are; and I'm sure in your mind that Sharon is your sister."

"She is," she agreed. "When I found Sharon at my waitressing job, I found the person I could tell anything to, no matter how horrible, humiliating or stupid it was. We clicked right from the start. We didn't go to the same school, but we always met up on the weekends or went out after our shift ended. I think I probably spent most of my weekends sleeping over at her house my senior year," she said with a soft laugh.

"I imagine that the two of you have gotten into plenty of trouble together," Jim remarked lightly.

Amusement gleamed in her eyes. "Oh we've gotten into a few jams but we always manage to get out of them."

"I don't doubt that at all."

"The summer we were eighteen, we snuck off to Woodstock," Johanna admitted.

"Snuck off?" he asked.

"Yeah," she laughed. "You know how it is, you're eighteen but your parents still think they own you even though you're going off to college in a few weeks."

Jim chuckled. "Do they ever not think they own you?"

"You're right, they always think they own you but anyway; we wanted to go to Woodstock for the concert and we knew our parents would say no so we told them that we were going to go to stay with Sharon's aunt; who had agreed to say we were with her if anybody asked. She lives close to Woodstock so we went there...long enough to pick up the car she was lending us and then we went the rest of the way on our own. I still can't believe we didn't get found out."

"So you were really there?" Jim asked as that information sunk in.

"Yeah; we were there the whole time."

"Jeff and I went to Woodstock," he stated.

"You were there!" Johanna asked.

"Yeah; we went there looking for girls."

"Then why didn't you find me?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty damn disappointed that I didn't," he remarked.

She laughed softly. "We might've stood next to each other and didn't even know it."

Jim shook his head. "There's no way I would've overlooked you if I had been standing next to you sweetheart."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'd have to be blind not to notice a girl as beautiful as you."

She smiled shyly. "It's too bad we missed each other."

"It is," he agreed. "We could've had some great times during those years."

"I guess the universe wasn't ready for us to find each other."

"Well I'm glad it didn't wait any longer than it did," Jim told her.

"Me too."

"Do you think Jeff and Sharon suspect that we're together on our vacations?" he asked.

Johanna nodded. "I'm sure the thought has crossed their minds...and I'm sure we'll hear all about it."

He caught sight of a food vendor and a thought came to mind. "Do you want to eat here? They have all kinds of things. I can always go get us some snacks later."

"Sounds good," she replied and as they headed toward the booth she voiced another memory. "Sharon and I lived in an apartment over the restaurant we worked out for a few months...until our fathers found out and told us we either had to move back into our dorm rooms or move back home."

"You and Sharon didn't go to college together, did you?"

"Yes," she answered and then realizing why he had thought they wouldn't have she added; "Sharon may be a secretary but she also has a degree in English Lit to go along with that training."

"Then why is she a secretary?"

"Because she wanted to work in a law office but she didn't want to be a lawyer. She likes the work she does; it's what she wanted...it was her father who wanted the English Lit degree."

"I understand," Jim replied. "She got the degree her father wanted her to have but she still got to do what she wanted at the same time."

"Right."

"So why did you two move out of the dorm and into an apartment without permission?" he asked after they ordered their food and sat down with it at a picnic table.

Johanna pushed her straw through the lid of her soda and shrugged. "It was just something we wanted to do. We made it a few months before we got caught, thanks to Sharon's sister. Her father called mine…that was a delightful conversation when he tracked me down. I told him I was of age and could live where I wanted. He told me that as along as he was footing the majority of my bills, I would live where he said and do what he said. I had two options, move back to the dorm or move home. I went back to the dorm. Sharon took that option as well."

"If you had a job, how was he paying most of your bills?"

"I wasn't making a fortune being a waitress part time, Jim. Dad was paying my tuition and for my books, room and board; plus he was giving me a money allowance; which wasn't a fortune either but between it and my paycheck, I had money to eat and buy the things I needed. It was the same for Sharon. They were footing our bills so we had to live by their rules."

"I bet you were glad when that arrangement ended."

"Oh yeah," she laughed. "I was thrilled."

He kept her talking, never giving any indication to the plans he was making for later.

That evening, Jim walked into the small store that Ace owned and found the man behind the counter.

"Are you ready for that picnic?" Ace asked with a smile.

"I'm ready," he answered. "Do you have that basket of food for me?"

"I sure do," he answered; moving away from the counter and going to a small cooler where he lifted out a picnic basket. "I sat it down in there to make sure everything stayed fresh," he explained as he carried it back to the counter and then reached beneath it for the bottle of wine he had stored there and tucked it into the basket. "Everything you need is in the basket."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," Jim replied as he took some money from his wallet and handed it to Ace.

"How does you girl like the idea?" the old man asked as he gave him his change.

"She doesn't know yet. I'm going to surprise her."

"Nice touch," Ace said proudly as he took a scrap of paper from his pocket. "I know you aren't familiar with the area so I wrote down the directions for you."

"Thanks. You're sure it's alright for us to go out there?"

The man nodded. "Everyone goes out there; you don't have anything to worry about except having a nice time."

Jim thanked him once more and then headed back to the hotel to get Johanna.

Johanna was settled back against her pillows, her attention on the book in her hand as the TV played quietly in the background, when a knock sounded at the door that adjoined her room to Jim's.

"It's open," she called out; figuring that he was bringing in the snacks to share with her that he had gone to get earlier.

Jim stepped into her room but there was no bag in his hand. "Get dressed," he stated, seeing that she had changed into her pajamas while he was gone.

Her eyes grew wide. "Oh my God, Ugly didn't catch up with us, did he?"

"No."

"Are we running from someone new?"

Jim laughed. "No, nothing like that. Just get dressed and get your shoes on and meet me in my room, and don't be long."

Johanna stared after him as he slipped back into his room and closed the door; what was he up to? She got up from the bed and went to her suitcases, digging out a pair of shorts and a lavender short sleeved v-neck top and then she dressed quickly. As she shoved her feet into her sandals, she grabbed her purse from the dresser and clicked off the television before moving into his room.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" she asked.

"Not yet," he replied as he reached for her hand and pulled her toward the door.

"Where are we going?"

"Must you ask so many questions?" he teased as he led her to the car.

"Occupational hazard."

"We're in the same occupation and I don't ask as many questions as you did," Jim stated as he unlocked the passenger side door for her.

She smirked at him. "Fine, it's a gender hazard."

"I don't think I should comment on that," he said after a brief beat of silence.

"Probably not," she agreed before he shut her door and rounded the car.

He kept dodging her questions as they started out on their journey and finally after ten minutes of getting nowhere with him, she gave up and grew quiet; giving her attention to the radio. He smiled a little as she sang along softly; grateful that she hadn't been suspicious enough to go looking around the car for clues. The picnic basket was sitting on the floor behind her seat, the blanket his brother kept in the trunk, draped over it to conceal it from view.

When they headed down an old dirt road and he eventually pulled off into an old field, Johanna looked at him with a raised brow. "You're taking me to a field?"

Jim nodded. "I have my reasons."

"When do I get to know those reasons?"

"Now I guess," he laughed. "We're going on a picnic."

"A picnic…at night?"

"Do you know a better time to have a moonlit picnic?"

He had her there, she thought to herself. "No, I guess I don't…you sure can't have one in the daytime."

Jim grinned at her. "My father's right, you are a smart girl."

"Oh shut up," she laughed as she followed his lead and got out of the car.

He left the radio on in the car and then retrieved the blanket and basket from the back and led her a few feet away to a well worn area where they spread out the blanket. They settled down together and opened the bottle of wine, filling the plastic wine glasses that Ace had been kind enough to include and then dug into the food.

"So how did this idea come about?" Johanna asked as they ate.

"The old man I was talking to at the carnival," he admitted. "I asked him what there was to do around town and this was one of his suggestions. He owns a store and he offered to make us up a basket if I wanted to take you on a picnic. I thought you might like the idea."

"I do," she smiled.

"Have you ever been on a moonlit picnic?"

"No, I haven't," she answered as she took a sip of wine.

"Good."

"Why is it good?"

Jim met her gaze. "It's good because that means I'm the first to take you on one."

Her lips curved upwards at the comment and she couldn't help but slyly turn the tables on him. "And have you ever been on a moonlit picnic before?"

He laughed quietly but kept his eyes locked on hers. "No, I can't say I have."

"Good," she teased. "Then I'm the first you've taken on one…instead of getting one of your overused plays that you've used on God knows how many other girls."

His hand fell against her knee and caressed it. "I'd never give you some overused play."

"Why not?" she asked; her voice nearly a whisper.

"Because you're one of a kind, sweetheart."

If he was hoping to make her melt inside, he had succeeded, she thought to herself. "Well aren't you the charmer today; what's gotten into you?"

"Not a thing," he replied. "I guess being out with a pretty girl like you does that to me…are you complaining?"

"Not at all," she replied with a soft laugh; her hand rising on its own accord and caressing his face. "Feel free to charm me anytime."

"Are you sure you can handle that?" Jim teased as he caught her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss.

"Oh I'm sure I can manage…and just so you know; you're also the first to take me on a road trip."

"Good…and you're not allowed to go on one with anyone else."

"Is that right?"

"That's right."

"Fine; then you're not allowed to go on one with anyone else either."

"Deal," Jim stated. "We're only allowed to go on road trips together. That's a law now."

"An immutable law of the universe," Johanna remarked.

"That's right; this is our special thing and it can't be shared with anyone else."

"I agree…and I can't imagine ever wanting to share it with someone else."

He smiled as his hand found hers once more. "Me neither."

After they finished eating, Jim pointed out the constellations to her and then they whiled away the time together, enjoying the peacefulness of the area as they chatted quietly and enjoyed each other's company. Time slipped by without notice and Johanna laughed softly as she listened to the radio D.J.'s synopsis of The Eagles latest album; and then bypassing their current single, he announced that he was going to play 'Take It to the Limit' next.

"I love that song," she murmured as the disc jockey prattled off a list of upcoming community events.

"Seems like you love all of their songs," Jim replied lightly.

"They're my favorite band," she stated; meeting his eye. "Besides; I have fond memories attached to one of those songs."

"So do I," he answered; his fingers brushing against the top of her hand.

Johanna smiled, knowing that he was thinking of the same memory that she was as she lifted her gaze back to the night sky to admire the stars. "I've never seen so many stars in my life; aren't they the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

His mind was still on their first kiss and all the kisses they had shared since then, and his answer came tumbling from his lips without thought as he admired her in the moonlight. "Not as beautiful as you."

Her eyes darted toward him, a soft smile curving her lips upward. "That's a sweet thing to say," she replied as the first chords of Take It to the Limit sounded from the car radio.

"It's true," he remarked; operating on feeling instead of thought as he hooked two fingers beneath her chin and then captured her lips in a kiss.

When it was over; his eyes met hers, their lips remaining mere centimeters apart. Her fingertips grazed his jaw; seemingly beckoning him back for more and it was an urge he couldn't resist. Their next kiss was deeper; shrugging off the restraints that they usually adhered to which only stoked the fire. They kept drawing each other back, the thought never entering their minds to stop. It never ceased to amaze her how quickly a few kisses could ignite a fire that was too hard to resist, Johanna thought as she found herself being gently lowered down onto the blanket.

She forced her eyes open to look up at him as his mouth parted from hers. Their gazes met and held, as if in silent askance if it was alright to go on. It felt too good to even think of entertaining the notion of not going on. She ran her hand along his side in a sensual caress as he dipped his head to kiss her tenderly; a few short sweet kisses steadily morphing back into the more passionate ones they had been indulging in. His mouth slipped away from hers, seeking out that sensitive spot on her neck that he knew made her melt. Her fingers moved into his hair and he knew he had found the right spot when he felt a gentle tug in response to the area he had concentrated his attention on.

A semblance of thought returned to Johanna as she felt the warmth of his hand against her skin as it found its way beneath the hem of her shirt. Anticipation fluttered in her stomach; her heart beating faster. They were crossing a line that they hadn't crossed before, she thought as his lips returned to hers; his hands exploring her slowly as they moved beneath her top. Normally, she would've thought of putting on the breaks and pulling them back from the brink...but tonight she didn't. With the stars above them and the soft music on the radio, she couldn't imagine a more perfect moment. Her hands moved on their own accord; need to touch him motivating her nimble fingers to undo a few buttons of his shirt, allowing her hand to slip inside. The material of her own shirt seemed to be sliding higher; his hands becoming bolder and taking liberties he had never taken before...but she didn't mind; she wanted and craved it. She revealed in it, just as much as he was as he realized how much freedom she was giving him.

Suddenly there was a light; bright and blinding as it shone in their faces. "Alright kids; that's enough of that," a slightly amused voice stated.

They jerked apart; scrambling to readjust clothing as they squinted against the glare of light. "You want to turn that thing off?" Jim asked as he looked up at the cop who had discovered them. "You're blinding us."

The officer, an older man with graying hair and an amused smirk that reminded Jim of his father; lowered the flashlight. "What are you two doing out here, besides the obvious?"

"We're on a picnic," Johanna answered.

"Uh huh," the officer replied. "Where's the food?"

"We ate it," Jim replied.

"And so you thought you'd go for dessert?" the cop asked.

Johanna's cheeks burned in embarrassment as Jim couldn't help but grin. "Well you know how it is, sometimes things just happen."

The officer chuckled. "I used to know, sonny," he stated as he waved the flashlight over the area and landed on their bottle of wine. "Have you two been drinking?"

"We had a glass of wine with our meal but that's all."

The flashlight flicked back towards Johanna. "Is she old enough to drink?"

"Of course I'm old enough to drink!" Johanna exclaimed. "I'm not a kid!"

"That's what all you kids like to say."

"I'm not a teenager!"

"Settle down now, spunky; there's no need to get excited," the cop replied. "I'm not going to run the two of you in as you don't seem to be intoxicated...on anything other than each other; but I think it's best that you get this young lady home to her folks," he told Jim.

Johanna's jaw dropped and Jim struggled not to laugh. "Oh I will, sir."

"I mean it now; I want the two of you cleared out of here before I come back up this road on my rounds; you understand?"

"We understand," he replied as he got to his feet and held out a hand to assist Johanna.

"Alright then; you kids have a goodnight and don't let me catch you down here again."

"We promise."

They stood in silence as they watched the cop amble back to the road where his car was waiting and once he was in it, Jim burst into laughter.

"He thinks I'm a teenager!" Johanna exclaimed in outrage.

"That'll teach you to go without your makeup," he laughed.

"I would've worn it tonight if you had told me before hand that we were doing this."

"You don't need makeup anyway; you're beautiful without it, spunky."

Johanna swatted him, making him laugh all the more. "You will never repeat that term to anyone," she stated.

"Why not? I thought you'd like that; you like Mary Tyler Moore after all and she's got spunk," he laughed; ducking as she moved to hit him with the blanket she had picked up.

"I can not even believe this happened," she muttered. "How embarrassing is that?"

"You'd think you'd be flattered to be mistaken as a teenager."

"If it was a matter of being carded in a bar, I would be; but this is totally different."

Jim continued to laugh as they gathered up their stuff. "I just hope I haven't kept you out past your curfew, Johanna; your folks might not let you see me anymore if I did."

She smirked at him. "Oh I'm sure I'm way past curfew; I bet my mother will call your parents and I hope they punish you!"

"I can't let that happen," he said with a shake of his head. "They might take my allowance and then I won't be able to go to the school dance. I'll just tell them it was all your fault...my mother will believe that."

"You jerk," she laughed. "Maybe I'll just tell my parents everything about tonight and then they'll make you marry me and you won't have to worry about the school dance anymore."

"That's fine; we already have a ring."

"You mean you're not going to upgrade my ring after you almost got me arrested?"

"Of course not, sweetheart; I have to save money in case we need it for bail...spunky people often get arrested, you know."

Johanna glared at him; an amused smile dampening its intent. "You better just stick to my preferred nicknames sonny; or you'll be sorry."

"If you start calling me Sonny, I'm going to have call you Cher."

Johanna's laughter rang out loudly; making him smile in response. "Then I'm really sorry that I cut my hair."

"You should be," he replied lightly.

"I won't do it anymore," she replied as they put the blankets and basket in the trunk of the car.

Jim slammed the lid and she moved to head for the passenger side of the car but he gently captured her wrist; keeping her in place as he moved into her space. His arms slipped around her; pulling her against him as he dipped his head and caught her lips in a slow, tender kiss. She was breathless when it ended and he gave her a soft smile as he found her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let's get out of here, sweetheart."

The next morning, Jim crept through the door that joined their rooms. He approached the bed, smiling as he took in the sight of Johanna curled up in the center, the covers pulled up and wrapped around her so much that her head was barely visible. He moved closer and carefully sat down on the edge; reaching forward and pulling the blankets down a little so that he could see her face. "Jo," he said quietly as he gave her a gentle shake. She didn't budge or acknowledge his presence so he shook her a little harder. "Johanna."

"Hmm?" she mumbled.

"You need to get up."

"What time is it?" she asked; her voice gritty with sleep.

"It's six o'clock."

"In the morning?"

"Yes."

Johanna cracked an eye open; her expression full of disgust. "Get the hell out of here and don't come back until a decent hour," she stated as she pulled the blankets back up and burrowed back into her pillow.

Jim laughed. "You're not much of a morning person, are you?"

"Mornings suck," she mumbled. "Goodnight."

"No; it's good morning, come on and get up."

"We just went to bed," she whined as he tried to wrestle her blanket away from her.

"We did not. We were back here a little after twelve. We need to get a move on so we can get back on the road."

"You usually give me warning," she stated; jerking her blanket back from him.

Jim wasn't about to loose the war and he swiftly pulled the blanket away from her again; this time dragging it completely off the bed and out of her reach. "This is your warning; get up, get dressed, get your stuffed packed. We're going to get breakfast and then get going. I'd like for us to be on the road by eight."

Johanna glared at him. "I hate you a little right now."

He smirked at her. "That's not what you were saying last night at a certain picnic."

"Now I hate you a lot."

"No, you don't."

"I think I kind of do; give me back my blanket and come back at eight."

"No deal."

"What's the big hurry!"

"We have a long drive ahead of us. If we get going by eight; we should get there by late afternoon."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll find out when you're not so cranky."

"Cranky is the only mood I have at six in the morning," she retorted.

He smiled. "That's alright; you're an adorable kind of cranky this early in the morning."

She gave him a look that said she was thoroughly unamused. "Go away."

"Are you getting up?"

"It doesn't seem like I have much choice," Johanna said tartly.

"Good; you're seeing things my way. I'll give you a half hour."

"Bless your saintly heart."

Jim laughed. "I thought you said sarcasm ran high after midnight."

"The last time I checked, six a.m. was after midnight," she retorted.

"Okay, I'll give you that one," he replied as he got up and headed for the door. "I'll be back to get your bags."

"I'm counting the minutes."

She could hear his laughter as he closed the door behind him and she pressed her cheek back into the pillow; she'd get up in a minute, she thought to herself; waves of sleepiness crashing over her again.

Jim waited ten minutes and when he heard no evidence of her moving around in her room, he marched back through the door. Sure enough she was still in bed; her eyes closed and her features relaxed in slumber. "Johanna!" he exclaimed as he moved to the bed.

"I'm up," she mumbled as she jerked awake.

"Liar," he stated as he reached for her, lifting her out of the bed and carrying her to the bathroom where he sat her on her feet. "Now you're up, and you better stay up or I'm going to throw you in the shower and turn the cold water on."

"If you do that, you better sleep with one eye open, because you will pay dearly."

"Then for both our sakes, you better get a move on, sweetheart."

"Fine; now go, your mission is accomplished."

Jim smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek despite her glare. "You'll forgive me later."

"That remains to be seen."

A few hours later, Jim was starting to regret his decision to let Johanna take a turn with the driving. He was getting tired though and his shoulder was aching; she had been right, he had felt something pull when he moved that cabinet and he had aggravated it by throwing so many baseballs. He could've dealt with it though; he could've continued to drive…but she had offered to take a turn, despite him not telling her their final destination and as they were still a few hours away, he figured she could drive for an hour or so to give him a break. But of course that was before he knew just what her skill as a driver was. It was becoming clear to him that she leaned a little heavy on the gas pedal…especially if there was a fast song on the radio that she liked. She was singing along as if she didn't have a care in the world, the wind from the open window tousling her ponytail as they had left the top up when they left Maryland.

"You better slow down a little, Sassy," he commented casually as he watched the needle tick a little higher.

"I'm just keeping up with the flow of traffic," she replied.

"No; I think they're just getting out of your way."

"They are not! I know how to drive."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Maybe I should've asked to see your license first. You do have one, don't you? I mean you mentioned driving your mother's car before but I guess that doesn't necessarily prove anything."

She shot him a disgruntled look and took a hand from the wheel and shoved it into her purse which was resting on the seat between them.

"Get your hand back on the wheel!"

"I have control of the car!" she retorted as she tossed her wallet into his lap. "There, open it up and look at my license all you want."

He unsnapped the flap of her wallet and opened it, sliding her driver's license from its slot to examine it. "I'll be damned; they did give you a license…pretty nice picture too."

"Why shouldn't they have given me a license?"

"Because you drive like you're nuts; who taught you how to drive anyway?"

"My brother," Johanna answered somewhat defensively.

"Does he drive the same way you do?"

"Yes! What's wrong with the way I drive?"

"Well there's your tendency to speed," he remarked. "You know those signs with the speed limit posted are there for a reason…did your brother tell you that?"

She smirked at him. "He said he looks at the speed limit as a suggestion; and yes, I know that's not true…but he said on interstates and freeways, you're supposed to keep up with the flow of traffic…he also said that if you're going somewhere, you may as well get there as quickly as possible and get it over with. Do you have any other complaints?"

"Yeah; quit fooling with the radio and pay attention."

"I'm watching the road when I'm turning the station!"

"You don't need to turn the station every five minutes."

"I don't like commercials and I don't like listening to songs I don't like!"

"I think I'm going to have to retrain you where driving is concerned, Jo. I'm glad your brother gave the effort to teach you but apparently he wasn't the right person."

Johanna glared at him. "So I like to go a little fast sometimes, I'm careful. You just think you're a better driver because you're a man."

"I am a better driver," Jim stated. "I do the speed limit."

She scoffed. "I've seen you go over the speed limit. Why is it okay for you and not for me?"

"Because I don't make it a way of life."

"Oh shut up; I'm not as bad as you're making it out to be."

"Ease off the gas pedal and I'll concede that point to you."

Johanna eased off her speed as he put her wallet back into her purse and he settled back against the seat, hoping that would be the last he'd have to say about it. Ten minutes later, he realized she was driving under the speed limit and he gave her a shrewd assessing gaze.

"What now?" she asked.

"You're still not doing the speed limit."

"I'm not speeding!"

"No, now you're crawling down the road."

"Well which way do you want it? I'm either going too fast or two slow; make up your damn mind, you can't have it both ways."

"I want it at the speed limit."

"I don't know what the speed limit is here!"

Jim closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Just speed up a little and then you'll be fine."

She did as he asked and once again he thought maybe they would be fine now…but twenty minutes down the road, a Cher song came on the radio and she turned up the volume, singing along…her speed increasing with the beat. He couldn't win.

"Slow down, Jo."

"We're doing fine."

"You're going to get a ticket."

"I am not."

She kept going, not paying him any heed until they heard sirens behind them. "Damn," she muttered.

"Well now you've done it, speedy," he laughed. "You've really gone and done it."

"Shut up," she said as she pulled the car over. "I can handle this."

Johanna pasted on her best clueless female smile as the cop stepped up to her window. "Officer; is there a problem?" she asked sweetly as she looked up at him.

"Oh God," Jim thought to himself; that was her flirty voice and the smile she used to garner free drinks. They were going to jail this time.

"You were going a bit fast," he answered before asking for her license.

"Was I?" she asked as she once again took her wallet from her purse. "I didn't realize. I'm so very sorry."

The officer, an older man nodded as he looked at her license. "Yes ma'am, you were going about ten miles over the speed limit."

She pressed a hand to her chest in mock surprise. "Oh my, I am sorry. I was just trying to keep up with the traffic and I don't recall the last time I saw a speed limit sign."

The cop smiled at her warm sugary sweet tone. "Well, the signs are few and far between in these parts…so I guess it is understandable that you wouldn't know, especially as seeing that you're from out of town."

Jim rolled his eyes; her flirty approach was obviously working…and the halter top she was wearing probably helped a great deal; his eyes did keep straying from her face. He had a feeling that Johanna knew it too as she shifted to give him a better look at her…and he really couldn't believe that she had done that.

"Well that's not your fault about there being so little postage about the speed limit," she replied as she grazed the man's fingers while taking back her license. "I can see you're a dedicated lawman…and one of the more understanding ones at that. We need more officers like you."

The man actually blushed under her praise and Jim thought he might be sick. "Well, miss; I do try to be as understanding as possible…things happen sometimes."

"I promise to go drive slower," she told him. "I guess I'm just so excited about getting to my great grandmother. She's turning 102 today and I'm just so anxious for her to meet my husband. She wasn't able to make it to my wedding a few months ago because she was in the hospital. She still isn't doing too well and at this age, time is fleeting I suppose. I just want to get to her and have her meet my husband and know that I'm settled now…I know what a worry that was to her."

The officer nodded in understanding. "That's a shame that she couldn't be at your wedding, but amazing that she's reached such an advanced age. I can see why you'd want to hurry…but you want to get to her in one piece you know."

"Oh of course!" she exclaimed. "I'm usually so much better about watching my speed. Once again I apologize, I do need to slow down…especially in an area as lovely as this one when there's so much beauty to see."

"Yes, there is a lot of beauty here," he replied and Jim had a feeling he didn't just mean the scenery.

"From now on, I'll drive slower…thank you so much for pointing out my error and being so kind and understanding."

Had she just insinuated that he was going to let her go with a warning? Jim wondered to himself as he stayed quiet, waiting to see how this was going to pan out.

The officer smiled warmly. "I think now that you're aware of your speed, you'll do just fine. I'll let you go with a warning this time, but don't let it happen again."

"I won't, I promise. I'm sure my husband will keep a closer eye on me now."

"You do that," the cop said as he caught Jim's eye.

"Oh I can promise you that I will," he answered.

"Good; you have a good day…and you give your great grandmother my regards."

"I will, she'll be so pleased to get them," Johanna stated. "You have a good day as well, Officer; stay safe."

He gave her a nod and she gave him a flirty little wave as he stepped away and then she pulled back into traffic, being careful to keep her speed low.

"Well that was quite a show," Jim remarked. "Why didn't you just kiss him while you were at it?"

"Don't think I wouldn't have if it had come to it," she replied. "I don't want any out of town legal problems."

"Why do I have a feeling that you've done this before?"

"Because I have."

"You do it well…of course I guess it's easy when you find a man whose easily flattered and taken in by a pair of green eyes and a halter top."

She shot him a quick glance. "Just what are you implying?"

"That you know what you have and how to use it," he replied; gesturing at her figure.

"Is it my fault how the male brain is wired? I can't help it that you're all so easily taken in. If you have an issue with that, take it up with God. It's not my fault."

Jim laughed. "You just exploit the flaw."

Johanna waved a hand dismissively. "Sometimes it's necessary…and don't go acting like men don't play on women's flaws, because you do."

He held up a hand in surrender. "Let's not go into all of that."

"Funny how you want to end the conversation when it turns on you."

"That's only because I want to call a truce."

"Sure it is."

"Whatever the case may be," he stated; "The first place we find to pull over, we are; and I'll take over the driving again."

"Fine; I'm tired of you complaining about it anyway," she quipped.

"Is that the thanks I get for taking you on a beach getaway in North Carolina?" he asked.

"We're going to North Carolina?" Johanna questioned in surprise.

He nodded. "We have to make up for that trip you missed when you were a kid."

"Really?"

"Of course…we have to check off all those childhood dreams and things you missed out on so you can make room for new things," he answered. "We've covered horseback riding, you're learning baseball and fishing, and you got a trip to the carnival…we're checking things off one by one."

She smiled as she laid a hand on his leg and gave it a squeeze. "In that case, I forgive you for being mean about my driving."

Jim took her hand and brought it to his lips for a quick kiss before laying it back on the steering wheel. "Thank you, I'll be able to sleep tonight knowing I've been forgiven for my transgressions."

"Speaking of sleeping; how easy is it going to be for us to find a place at the beach this time of year with no reservations."

"Who says we don't have reservations."

"How could we have reservations?"

"Maybe because when you were napping at Vivien's, I snuck out and went to a travel agency to see what I could find out about taking a little trip to North Carolina. The woman there called one of the resorts and they had a cancellation for a suite; it's ours if we get there before midnight tonight. That's why I wanted you to get a move on this morning."

"You could've just told me," she replied.

"That would've ruined the surprise."

"Maybe…but it would've gotten me out of bed faster."

"We'll chalk it up to a learning experience. Pull over at that convenience store up ahead; we'll trade places there."

That evening after returning from dinner and settling in to their two bedroom suite; Jim picked up the bottle of wine they had ordered from room service and two glasses and pushed open the door that led out onto the balcony. Two comfy looking chaises waited there, a small stand to the side of each one. "Will you be okay out here?" he asked, recalling her fear of heights as Johanna followed behind him.

She took a look around but didn't venture near the white painted concrete railing that surrounded the balcony. "I'll be fine," she told him as she settled down on one of the chairs. "We're not so high up that it makes me uncomfortable and we're not near the railing. If we were a few floors higher, I'd have a problem."

"So you do okay with certain heights?" he questioned as he poured the wine and handed her a glass.

"Yes, for the most part. Ladders make me a little leery after the first few rungs; and anything small and open that could give me a good opportunity to fall. You'd think I'd be over taking that fall out of the tree when I was five…but I just can't seem to shake it no matter how many times I try."

"There's no shame in that. Everyone has a fear of something."

Her eyes flicked toward him. "What's yours?"

"Mine? Well…"

"Well what?"

"I'm thinking."

She laughed. "Are you debating what you aren't afraid to share or are you just trying to make up something to tell me because you aren't really afraid of anything like heights and snakes and things like that."

He chuckled. "Well I can't say that I'm bothered by the things you mentioned, because I'm not. I might have to get back to you on that one."

"It's okay; go ahead and admit it, you're just a big brave man and I'm just a fearful little girl," she replied lightly.

"Okay; I'm a big brave man and you're my damsel."

She gave a short laugh as picked up her wine glass to take a sip. "I'm surprisingly okay with that…but don't tell anyone; I have a reputation to protect."

"Don't worry; I won't tell a soul that Sassy McKenzie likes to be rescued once in awhile."

"I appreciate that…and I won't tell anyone that you got spooked at that ghost hotel and wouldn't check the closet for me when we heard those noises."

Jim considered that for a moment and then offered his hand to her to shake. "Fair trade."

Johanna sighed happily as she relaxed against the chaise. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"This," she replied; gesturing to the view. "For bringing me here…it's beautiful."

He gave her a smile. "You're welcome…I'm happy to do it."

They made small talk for awhile and then fell into a companionable silence as they stared out at the moonlit ocean, a soft summer breeze ruffling their hair. The music from the open air bar/nightclub next to the hotel floated on the air and mingled with the sound of the waves in the distance. Johanna breathed in the sea air and then took a sip of her wine. The song changed at the club and the familiar melody of 'Crimson and Clover' filled the air, bringing a smile to her lips. "I love this song," she said softly.

"Do you?" Jim replied; his tone as quiet as hers.

She nodded. "It went to number one three days before I turned eighteen."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she replied; and then she laughed softly. "That's just some useless trivia. I don't know why I remember it."

He chuckled quietly. "There's nothing wrong with that. We all remember things like that."

"I wanted to dance to this song at the Valentine's dance at school that year."

"What happened, didn't they play it?"

"I don't know," she replied. "I didn't get to go."

"Why not?"

"I came down with a bad cold two days before the dance. I was so miserable…even more miserable every time I saw my dress hanging on the closet door. It was my last Valentine's dance and I missed it. I guess I'm lucky it wasn't prom; that would've killed teenage me," she laughed.

"We'll be thankful for small miracles then; but I will give you my condolences for missing the Valentine's dance…I know how you girls feel about those things."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "I assure you that my sympathy is sincere."

"So do you remember silly song trivia from your youth?"

"Yeah; I remember that the week my high school girlfriend dumped me, The Beatles were at number one with 'Yesterday'. I found that song very fitting for my plight."

Johanna glanced at him; a ghost of a smile on her lips. "That's a pretty melancholy song, honey."

He laughed. "It was a pretty melancholy moment in time."

"Broke your heart, did she?"

Jim nodded. "Ripped it right out and stomped on it; and then to add insult to injury, she started going out with one of my friends...who then became my former friend."

"Bitch," she stated.

He smiled. "Yeah, I came to that conclusion too...after awhile."

"After you quit listening to the radio so much?"

"Probably," he laughed.

She reached across the miniscule space between them and found his hand; brushing her fingers over it soothingly. "It was her loss."

"It felt like it was mine back then. You know how it is when you're sixteen...everything's the end of the world."

She laughed softly. "Oh I know, I had a few of those moments myself."

"Someone break your heart?"

"Sure did."

"And here I figured you did all the heartbreaking," he teased.

"You are so wrong," she laughed; and then after a beat of silence she asked, "What was her name?"

"Mandy."

"Whatever happened to her?"

"She married that former friend of mine that she dumped me for."

"Ouch."

He shrugged. "That's how it goes sometimes."

"Was she your first love?"

"Yes; and I told myself she'd be the last."

She continued to run her fingers over his hand and he turned his palm so that his fingers could caress hers. "I'm sure you changed your mind though, right?"

He allowed his fingers to curl around hers. "Yeah, I changed my mind. She wasn't worth going that far."

Johanna gave him a smile. "Maybe it was for the best."

"You think so?"

She nodded. "If she had stuck around and maybe married you; then you couldn't be here with me on vacation."

Jim squeezed her hand and grinned. "Well when you put it that way, I'm glad she ripped out my teenage heart, just so I could end up here with you. I just wish you had been around back then."

"Me too; I would've beaten her up for you."

"Would you?" he laughed.

"Oh yeah; I would've hit her and told her what a bitch she was. No problem."

"I would've liked that," he replied; "And maybe when you were done, you could've consoled me through my loss...but then again, you would've only been fourteen..."

"I like to think that I was a mature fourteen," she commented.

"Well in that case, you should've been there."

"I wish I had been...but then again; you probably would've gotten me into trouble."

"And you probably wouldn't have minded a bit," he replied.

"Probably not," she laughed.

"So who broke your heart?" he asked. "That guy that left you standing on the side of the road?"

Johanna shook her head. "No. It hurt but he didn't break my heart. We weren't serious or anything, I had only gone out with him a few times. The first one to break my heart was Kyle. I started dating him after that side of the road incident. I really liked him…loved him in the way teenage girls love. It lasted a good while…but then came that day when he showed up at the door and asked me to go for a walk with him."

"What happened then?"

She smiled somewhat wistfully. "While we were walking he asked me to give him back his class ring…and he told me that he didn't think he loved me anymore; at least not like he used to. He wanted to go out with Betsy Northcraft and he hoped I understood and that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings."

"I wonder how long it took him to rehearse that speech," Jim muttered.

"I wondered the same thing."

"Whatever happened to him and Betsy?"

"They were quite an item for awhile…until she got pregnant. When that happened, he was suddenly enlisting in the army and she dropped out of school. I haven't heard about them since."

"I think maybe you dodged a bullet on that one, Jo."

"Yeah, I guess so," she laughed.

They were quiet for a moment before Jim asked; "Who broke your heart after that?"

Her eyes flicked towards him. "I think you know."

He shrugged. "The med student?"

She nodded as she took a long sip of her wine. "Cade Rutherford…every young girl's dream; handsome, rich, charming, fun. He said all the right things, made all the right moves. When I said I like to take things slow, he didn't pressure me…he just waited awhile and then got me drunk and took me to bed anyway. I was upset about that at first; but he told me it had only happened because he loved me…and I was stupid enough to believe that and stuck around for another 22 months."

"I guess that's what happens when you love someone."

"I loved him alright…loved that son of a bitch so much it made me blind and stupid."

"Why do you say that?"

She swallowed another sip of wine. "What else do you call it when you don't know that the man you've been sleeping with has been sleeping with someone else on the side…for six months. If that isn't stupidity, I don't know what is."

Jim could hear the self reproach in her voice. "I know you were in college, Johanna; but you were still a young girl…and I'm going to guess mostly inexperienced. Maybe you hadn't finished growing up yet…and I don't mean that in a bad way. You loved him…you probably overlooked things you that you wouldn't now."

"I shouldn't have been so naïve…I should've known how things worked. He always had all of these excuses for breaking our plans or being late. I should've known…but I was just so damn convinced that he loved me. I thought I really had a prize…I thought he was going to marry me," she said with a laugh. "Isn't that terrible?"

He shook his head as he squeezed her hand. "No…I figure when you're with someone that long, marriage is a natural thought to have."

"I don't know what hurt more," she murmured; "Finding out about his perky little nurse or the things he said when he was finally man enough to come and end things with me."

He shouldn't ask and yet he couldn't quell his curiosity. "What did he say?"

"He said, "It's been fun but it's over now. You don't fit into my world but Candy does."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jim asked; his temper flaring at the notion it implied.

"It meant that my family wasn't wealthy enough for his…I don't have the right pedigree; my parents don't belong to the right clubs. I went to public school instead of private. I worked as a waitress to supplement the allowance my father gave me while I was still in school. Apparently, the McKenzies were beneath the Rutherfords. My father's business is too blue collar for their liking."

"You're better off without those kinds of people."

"That wasn't all of it though," she replied. "He also told me that he didn't love me and that he hadn't loved me for a long time. He just hung on to me because it was convenient. When I mentioned that it didn't seem that way when he was sleeping with me, he laughed and said that I was just another notch on his bedpost…I wasn't the first and I wouldn't be the last. It had been fun…but now it was time to move on. Fun," she scoffed. "Two years of my life reduced to 'it's been fun'. Fun and games for him maybe…but not for me. It meant something to me."

His stomach twisted; he recalled a few occasions in the past when he had used that 'it's been fun' line when ending a liaison. Suddenly he realized how callous it was, how much hurt it could bring upon the person hearing it. "I'm sorry," he said quietly; feeling the need to apologize for making the statement in a past that didn't include her and also for the fact that someone had said to her and wounded her with it.

"It's not your fault," she whispered as she tightened her grip on his hand. "I was a mess for awhile after that. It was one of those the world ended type of moments that took a long time to shake off."

"Relationships are good for turning your world upside down," Jim commented. "Sometimes you wonder if they're worth the trouble."

"I can't say that I haven't asked myself if it's worth it a time or two…but I think it ends up depending on the relationship. Some aren't worth it…but I figure when you find the right one, then everything is worth it."

"Even the crap you have to go through to find that right one?"

"Yes; how do we know we found the right one if we don't go through the turmoil of finding the wrong ones? My mother says that's how we grow and learn, not only about ourselves but about what we're looking for in a person."

"That makes sense in theory; but don't you think maybe you've found the right one every time you begin a new relationship?"

Johanna shook her head. "Speaking for myself; no, not always. I didn't think for a moment that Brad was the right one…but I took the chance to find out for sure anyway."

"Yeah, and he hurt you."

"He's not the first and probably won't be the last. At least I didn't love him; that would've been worse."

"What about whoever you loved after Cade?"

She glanced at him. "Who says I've loved anyone since then?"

Jim looked slightly startled by that thought. "You were with someone when we first met."

"I wasn't with someone; I was seeing someone."

"What's the difference?"

"The difference is that I wasn't in love with Max. We liked each other well enough; still do, I still consider him a friend, but there wasn't a romantic love there. I met him through one of my cousins and it wasn't anything serious. Max travels a lot and our relationship mostly consisted of him calling me when he was in town and asking me to go to dinner with him or to a movie or show. We liked spending time together but we weren't sleeping together. When he came back from one of his business trips and said that he had met someone, there were no hard feelings about it and I wished him well."

There was a part of him that wanted to ask if she had slept with Brad but he had no right to ask her that and it wasn't any of his business…besides, if she said yes, it would probably make him sick.

"You know…you were seeing someone for awhile not long after we met…what was her name? Kimmy?"

He shot her an amused look. "It was Kim."

"Same thing. What happened with that?"

"Kim was a nice girl but it was never meant to be a serious long term relationship."

"No? Then what was it?"

"A good time," he laughed. "A fling."

"I see…and is that all you're interested in? You just want flings?"

"I didn't say that…but you have to admit; flings are a lot less complicated and if you play your cards right in the beginning, everyone knows what they're getting into and that it isn't going to end with wedding bells or a Disney made happily ever after."

"But you said before that you haven't seen anyone lately because you were tired of the same kind of girls…so doesn't that mean that you're getting tired of those no strings flings?"

"Not necessarily," Jim answered. "I'm not against relationships that are have deeper meaning and aren't all about the good times. It just seems to me that when you start slapping labels on things that it changes everything and ends up ruining it. What if you have this really good thing with someone…something you cherish, and then you go there and slap a commitment like label on it and then it goes south…as it always seems to do. Then you lose what you had and you sit around thinking that you should've left well enough alone."

"But that's not always the case," Johanna argued. "If it was, everyone would be single. If it's the right person, it doesn't go downhill. There may be hard times but you get through them and you become stronger because of them."

"There are always exceptions," he replied. "But it's been my experience that once things get to that labeling level that it ruins everything."

"Maybe it's not the label that ruins it; maybe it's the expectations you attach to it."

"It's not my expectations," he exclaimed. "It's the other person's. You give them what they want and it still isn't enough; or you give them everything you have and it still doesn't matter because they don't care as much about you as you care about them."

Johanna was quiet for a moment as she considered that for a moment. "Who did that to you? Who did you care about that didn't care about you the same way?"

A wry smile touched his lips. "Can't get anything past you, can I?"

"No, you can't…so who was it?"

"Samantha."

"And where did you find her?"

"College."

"I'm starting to think that college is a bad place to meet people," she remarked.

"It is," he agreed with a laugh. "There's nothing but trouble there."

"So what happened with Samantha?"

"Nothing was ever enough for her…and I did everything for her I could; gave her everything she said she wanted. I was always spending every dime I had on her."

"Did you love her?"

"Yes; the problem was, she didn't love me as much as I loved her."

"How long were you with her?"

"Too long."

"Can you narrow that down?"

"A year and a half."

"How did it end?"

"It ended with her saying that she was ready to move on and that she was too young to be tied down to just one person."

Johanna's brow rose as she regarded him. "You didn't propose did you?"

"No; thank God. I couldn't help thinking though that maybe she was worried that I was thinking about it; but I wasn't. That would've made everything worse if I had been. I had some moments of stupidity after that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah; I thought I could get back at her by going out with as many girls as possible."

She laughed softly. "Why do you guys always do that?"

Jim shrugged. "I guess we figure it'll make you see what you had and lost…that other girls are now enjoying."

"Actually it just makes you look desperate."

"Well you weren't there to impart that wisdom."

"Where was Jeff? Wasn't he knocking sense into you?"

"No; he thought it would help me get over her faster…and he was preoccupied with his own dilemma; he was seeing two girls at the same time and was trying to keep them from finding out about each other."

"He didn't!"

"He did…but he got caught. One of them gave him a black eye…he's learned his lesson."

"Serves him right," she laughed. "But back to you and your revenge dating…"

"Some of it was fun…but I didn't realize until it was too late that using that tactic ended up hurting someone who cared for me more than I knew…I felt bad about that and it made me change my ways."

"Did you talk to her about it? Did you apologize and maybe try to give her a chance?"

"No; I figured it was best to leave it be."

"And since then, you've been on your flings with no strings kick?" she asked casually.

"I guess you could say that but Samantha isn't the only reason I feel that way. There were a couple of other shortly lived relationships."

"But don't you think maybe you might be missing out on something by not being willing to take the chance of having some strings attached?" she asked.

"I haven't said that I'll never take the risk again…I guess I just want to be more cautious about it; especially if it's someone I care about a great deal. You haven't been in any long term relationships lately; what's your excuse for not taking a few risks?"

"Because I don't want to get hurt again, I guess…but that doesn't mean that I don't want to take the risk. I do…just with the right person…or at least with someone whose going to at least make an effort and treat me the way I want to be treated. I'm with you on being cautious; I want to be careful too the next time around; I don't want to lose someone I'm fond of, that I have a good thing with. I want it to be right the next time I take that leap."

Jim blew out a breath. "This love business can be sticky, complicated stuff."

Johanna nodded. "It is…but one day it'll work out and be worth it…it just takes time."

"I'm not in any hurry right now," he remarked. "I'm content right now."

"Me too," she answered; but she couldn't help wondering if they were talking about their own relationship in some way.

It grew quiet between them once more until finally he said "How about we go to that club tomorrow night? Maybe they'll play that song again for you."

"That sounds like a great idea," she responded. "I'd love to."

"This is the life," Johanna remarked as she lounged poolside the next day; a paperback in one hand and a frosty blue colored drink within reach of the other. "Do you think we could just stay here for a few years?"

Jim laughed softly. "I wish." It did seem like a special version of paradise, the sun was shining brightly but the weather wasn't sweltering; a nice breeze blowing across them periodically. He had an ice cold beer on the stand between them, a few sports magazines to read and a beautiful woman at his side, who was stretched out in her strapless navy blue one piece swimsuit. "I guess we could stay here until we ran out of money...then we'd have to hitchhike home and beg for our jobs back," he added.

She wrinkled her nose. "That's not a very appealing thought."

"I don't think so either...and the way you shop, you'd be broke within a month."

Her dark sunglasses were shielding her eyes but he was pretty sure she was shooting a glare at him as her head turned in his direction. "I'm on vacation; I'm allowed to splurge. Isn't that what I was supposed to do with the money from my grandmother's bond?"

Jim nodded. "That's right; that was your, don't get mad, be bad money."

Johanna laughed as she picked up her drink. "I've never heard that one before."

"It's been crafted just for you. How's that drink?"

"Fantastic," she replied between sips.

"What's it called?"

"Blueberry something; I can't exactly remember the full name. I do know that there are five other flavors and I'm going to try them all."

"Is there alcohol in it?" he asked.

"No; but it's very refreshing. Here," she said, holding her glass out to him. "Try it if you want to."

Jim accepted her glass and took a sip of her drink. "That is good."

"I told you so."

He smirked at her. "Does drinking out of the same glass solidify our pretend marriage?"

"Probably only if it was mutual; I haven't drank after you."

Jim laughed and picked up his bottle of beer and held it out to her. "Go ahead...for the sake of our union."

She giggled as she took the bottle and brought it to her lips for a long sip. "That's not bad, but I think I'll take back my blueberry whatever."

"I thought we were trading."

"You thought wrong."

Jim eyed her with amusement. "You take great pleasure in saying that to me, don't you?"

"It's one of the highlights of my life, honey."

He smiled; his eyes remaining on her as she took back her glass. "What?" Johanna asked.

"Nothing," he said with a shrug. "I just like when you call me that," he admitted without really meaning to.

A coy smile touched her lips. "Hasn't anyone else called you honey?"

"Not the way you do."

Those flutters in her heart were happening at an increased rate lately, she thought to herself as she shifted onto her side to face him better. "So I'm special?"

"I keeping telling you that you are, you just refuse to believe me."

"Well how do I know if you really mean it or if you're just showering me with false flattery?"

He was quiet for a moment before answering. "I always mean it with you, Jo."

The corner of her mouth curved upward in a soft smile. "Then I'll do my best to believe it."

"Good...you toe the line and we won't have any problems."

She laughed. "Fine; the same goes for you."

"I'll do my best."

"Make sure you do."

"How would you like to go fishing with me tomorrow?" Jim asked after a few minutes.

"I'd be happy to go with you...but where?"

"I remembered last night that I have a cousin who lives down here and he always talks about the fishing. I called him this morning while you were still asleep. He's leaving town on business today but he told me where his key and fishing stuff was and said we were welcome to make use of it."

"Are you going to bait the hook for me?" Johanna asked.

"Yes."

"Are you going to take the fish off the hook if I catch something?"

"Of course, sweetheart; I wouldn't let those precious hands of yours touch a fish," he teased.

She smirked at him. "You know; I still have a punishment to dole out to you."

Jim grinned. "I thought you had already doled it out when you walked out in this one piece bathing suit instead of a bikini."

"Nope...this is just the warm up."

"In that case, I'm looking forward to the main event."

She smiled as she shook her head at him. "I think you misunderstand the term punishment."

"That's your fault, sweetheart...you always make punishment sound so enjoyable."

"Maybe that's just a ploy to make you anticipate it...and then I strike and it isn't enjoyable at all."

Jim shook his head. "You're not that kind of girl."

"I guess you'll find out just what kind of girl I'm capable of being then."

He grinned at her. "I think I know...you have put on a few shows lately."

A sly smile spread across her lips. "The best is yet to come, honey."

Jim took a sip of his beer; he liked the sound of that.

That evening at the nightclub, Johanna sipped her margarita slowly while Jim was off getting his own drink refilled. She hoped there wouldn't be a repeat of the incident in Maryland. So far, no one was paying her any attention and that suited her just fine. The place was crawling with couples who only had eyes for each other and as silly as it seemed, the notion only made her wish that Jim would hurry back. She took another sip of her drink; she was getting so used to having Jim as her constant companion that she wondered what she would do when their vacation ended and they were no longer in such close quarters.

Johanna's heart gave a dull throb. It was a depressing thought, but things would have to go back to normal once they got home. There was that ache again, she thought, her hand straying to her chest to lay against her heart. For all intents and purposes, they had been living together for the duration of their trip…easing boundaries…pretending to be married…sometimes sharing a bed; although it was just as platonic as the times they had shared one at home. She'd miss him when it was over and she shook her head at the thought. It wasn't like she wouldn't be seeing him anymore; she would see him all the time…but just not in the way that she had so quickly gotten accustomed to. She'd miss falling asleep with the knowledge that he was nearby…the smell of his light cologne and that natural masculine scent that was unique to him that always seemed to linger. She'd miss sharing all of her meals with him; their outings and adventures. She'd miss waking up and knowing he was there. Her heart skipped, she'd miss him…this…them…because they were free and largely uninhibited here. There was no one to catch them, no one to pry, no one seeing or hearing things they weren't meant to. Their secrets were just between them here in their own little world. Those what if's she had been thinking about in Pennsylvania came rushing back but she hurriedly shoved them away and took another drink. Why was she depressing herself? There was no call for it, none at all.

Jim sat his drink on the table and took Johanna's hand, pulling her from her thoughts. "Dance with me," he said as her questioning gaze met his.

"I'd love to," she replied, allowing him to pull her from her chair and lead her onto the dance floor.

As they took there place on the floor, the music changed and the opening notes of 'Crimson and Clover' filled the air. His eyes held a mischievous twinkle as her gaze met his. "Did you have anything to do with that?" she asked.

"Maybe," he smiled.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked softly; a smile touching her lips.

"I'm sure you could think of a few things."

"I'm sure I could," she admitted.

Jim pulled her closer as they swayed slowly to the song. "You said you wanted to dance to this song…I know it isn't a high school Valentine dance…but I don't mind if you pretend…and you don't look a day over eighteen anyway so it shouldn't be too hard to do."

Johanna caught his chin with her fingertips and urged him to lower his face to hers and when he did so, she caught his lips in a kiss. "It's better than a high school dance," she murmured. "You're here. As for not looking a day over eighteen…I'm not too sure about that."

"You don't," he insisted. "You know, that cop did insinuate that you were underage. I mean he did tell me that I should get you home to your folks."

A soft giggle tumbled from her lips. "I think his eyesight must be going."

He had a feeling that she really didn't know just how beautiful she was; that even in the simple red summer dress she was wearing right now; she still managed to take his breath away. The urge to brush his lips against her temple couldn't be quelled, and he gave in, words he hadn't necessarily meant to voice, escaping in a soft whisper near her ear. "You're very beautiful, Johanna; in every way possible."

She was temporarily at a loss for words. She wasn't sure how to thank him for the compliment without it seeming like conceit...and she didn't necessarily want to dispute his claim either...even though she was sure that there were parts of her that weren't beautiful; knew it for a fact as it may be, but...she wanted to be beautiful to Jim, in every way possible.

Her fingers slipped away from his for a moment and caressed his face. "And you're very handsome," she said quietly; her gaze locking upon his blue eyes. "And you're good...you're a good man, Jim; the best I've ever known."

Jim began to shake his head, as if to dispute her claim but she laid her fingertips against his mouth. "You are," she insisted.

He smiled then; that certain smile that she was sure he always gave just to her; or at least she liked to think so. She allowed her fingers to drop away from his mouth as she retook his hand, her fingers entwining with his.

"And you're a good woman," he murmured as he pulled her closer. "The best I know."

She laid her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes; oh how she loved this man. Her eyes flew open at the thought, her heart pounding…had she just said that…to herself, that was? She was pretty sure that she had. Love…love in the truest, most romantic sense of the word. She loved him. Oh God. "Calm down," she told herself; but that wasn't easy to do when her heart was pounding and she was afraid for a moment that he might hear it or feel it. So she loved him…it wasn't something that had just happened three seconds ago, it had been there for a good while…she was just allowing herself a moment to acknowledge it; that's all it was. Nothing had changed; nothing had to change just because she had admitted something to herself. All she had to do was be as she always was…because the person she already was, was the same person that loved him. It was fine; she'd be okay. She could handle this.

Johanna got herself back under control and went back to enjoying the moment, or at least as much as she could with her new found knowledge rolling around in her head. The music changed yet again and she raised her head to look at Jim as 'Best of My Love' began to play.

"They're playing our song, Clyde," she jested affectionately.

He chuckled. 'Well, Bonnie; as much as I'd like to claim credit for that, I had nothing to do with this one."

"I guess it just likes to find us on its own."

"I guess so."

She was quiet for a moment before lifting her gaze back to his. "Just because you didn't have anything to do with it doesn't mean that you can't kiss me anyway."

"It does seem to be our tradition with this song, doesn't it?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"I do respect traditions," Jim remarked. "I wouldn't want anyone saying that I don't."

"No; we wouldn't want that at all."

He smiled before capturing her mouth in a long tender kiss that left her breathless and her thoughts and feelings swirling freely. She was in love. She loved him. "I…" she began to murmur; and then hearing the sound of her own voice filling her ears, she froze. Oh good lord, she had almost said it aloud. What the hell was she thinking?

"You what, sweetheart?" he asked quietly as he nuzzled her hair.

"I…I…" she stammered; her brain working furiously as she forced herself to swallow the words that kept coming to mind. "I just don't want this trip to end."

"Neither do I," he replied. "I'll be sad to see it end too."

Johanna nodded and snuggled back against him as they continued to sway slowly. She couldn't believe that she had almost let that slip. That would've had the potential for disaster. She had to be careful about that…but since love was on her mind, she allowed herself to wonder "Does he love me too?" She shivered at the thought and the man in question held her a little tighter; his breath warm against her ear as he whispered to her.

"Are you cold, honey?"

"No, I'm fine…I guess the breeze caught me off guard," Johanna answered; her gaze flicking to the small window sized open spaces along the tops of the walls. It wasn't really a lie; she had been caught off guard, just not by the night air.

"If you get too cold, tell me and we'll go."

"I'll be fine," she replied. "You'll keep me warm…you always do."

"I think I'm going to sit outside for awhile," Jim said as they entered their suite.

Johanna nodded; "I'll join you as soon as I take these shoes off. Do you want me to bring you a drink?"

"No; I'm fine," he answered as he headed for the doors leading to the balcony. "Thanks anyway." She gave him a smile before heading off to her bedroom and he slipped out the door and settled on one of the chaises on the balcony.

Minutes later, he heard her soft footsteps as she neared him and he caught hold of her fingers, keeping her from taking the unoccupied chaise. "There's room enough for both of us here," he remarked; gently tugging her down beside him.

A soft amused look stole across her face as she melded into his side; his arm cradling her securely as her head rested against his shoulder, her arm draping across his stomach. His hand was warm and heavy as it rested against her waist. It was a welcome sensation as she gazed at the night sky which was littered with stars. A gentle sea breeze wrapped around them and she closed her eyes as she snuggled against him. What she wouldn't give to stay in that moment for as long as possible.

"Did you have a nice time tonight?" Jim asked; his voice quiet as if he feared disturbing their tranquility.

"Yes, it was wonderful. Dinner was great and I enjoyed the nightclub. I love to dance; you should know that by now."

He laughed softly. "I've noticed. I never cared much for it...but I like dancing with you, Jo."

"Why me?"

"I don't know; it's just different with you. I guess you make it enjoyable in a way no one else does. Instead of counting the minutes until the song ends...I'm always hoping it doesn't."

"That's sweet," she whispered; her hand moving against his stomach affectionately, making his breath catch for a moment at how easily she could ignite a spark of desire.

"It's the truth," he murmured; his free hand capturing hers and holding it against his chest.

"I like dancing with you too...more than anyone else."

"Even though I only dance to the slow songs with you?"

"Mhmm; they're the ones that mean the most."

His hand moved against her waist in an acknowledging caress as silence fell between them. Without his words to occupy her thoughts, Johanna's fingers toyed with a button on his shirt without her notice as her mind drifted back to that moment in the nightclub when the words "I love you" had almost slipped from her lips. Thank god she had caught it in time, she thought to herself as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Was she being hasty in accepting the thought that she loved him as something other than a friend? Had she been too quick to acknowledge to herself that the love she felt for him was of the romantic sense? Oh she knew she was attracted to him...very attracted, to be precise...and as she recently acknowledged to Sharon; there were times when she wanted to take things further...wanted to know what it would be like to make love to him...but it was more than just the attraction and their spark and chemistry. There was so much more. There was the way he always made her smile and laugh, even when she didn't want to. There was the way he held her and wiped away her tears...listened to her rant and rave...her fears...her silly dreams. He was always there for her; looking after her, taking care of her when she didn't even know she needed it. There was the way he made her feel, and he made her feel so many things; cherished, wanted, understood, beautiful...sexy...special…needed...loved. He made her feel loved...and she loved him...loved every little thing about him. She sucked in a soft, shaky breath; there was just no denying it anymore; not to herself at least. She had fallen in love with Jim.

Johanna excepted it to feel like more of a surprise than it did; which only went to show that her heart had known it all along despite lying to herself. She was in love with him...what was she going to do? A sigh escaped her and the hand at her waist sneezed gently. "Are you okay?" Jim murmured.

His voice startled her and she flinched slightly. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure, sweetheart?"

Her eyes closed once more; that was just one more thing that she loved...one more thing that never failed to make her melt...being his 'sweetheart'...and for the first time, she wondered if she was the first to garner that nickname from him. "Yeah; I'm sure...Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever...," she began to say; her words trailing off as she began to voice her question aloud.

"Have I ever what?" he asked.

"Have you ever...called another girl sweetheart...like you do me?"

The question seemed to carry a certain amount of magnitude but he didn't shy away from answering it. "No...you're my only sweetheart, Johanna."

She smiled; tears stinging her eyes as she fisted the material of his shirt. Something akin to relief swam through her veins. "How come?" she asked.

Jim was quiet for a long moment. "Because that's just how it is...that's who you are to me...its not something I can really explain."

"You don't have to," Johanna murmured; satisfied with the answer she had received.

"Is something on your mind, Jo?" he questioned as his hand moved from her waist and softly fell against her head, his fingers threading through her hair.

Oh she had things on her mind all right, she thought to herself; but nothing she was willing to share. She was still startled by the fact that she had almost let that I love you slip. "No, not really. I was just curious that's all."

He wasn't all that convinced that there was nothing on her mind but he wasn't sure if he should push the idea or not. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, of course," she replied without hesitation. "Nothing's wrong, I was just thinking, that's all."

"Thinking about what?"

"Same thing as earlier...that I'll hate to see our vacation end."

"Me too," he replied as he pressed a kiss against the top of her head.

There was that flutter in her heart again; she was used to that...but she wasn't used to the acceptance of being in love with him. What was she going to do? She couldn't tell him...not when she wasn't sure if he felt the same way about her. Sometimes it felt like he did...but he had never said as much and she just couldn't take that risk right now. She'd just have to go on as she had been and she was okay with that. She wasn't ready to dive in yet; wasn't ready to risk rejection...and then there was the fear of losing him. She wouldn't be able to bear that. It was better to just keep doing what she had been; nothing had changed except for the fact that she wasn't lying to herself anymore. That was enough progress for now...but she'd have to be careful and make sure those three little words didn't slip out as they almost had before. She'd just have to wait and see what happened, as she had been telling herself all along...and while she was doing that, she could just savor the moments as they came...and maybe, just maybe, one day it would all work out okay and he'd take that step of initiating the conversation about taking their relationship to the next level. Then she could tell him how she felt. Waiting a little longer wouldn't bother her; not when he made waiting so enjoyable. With that thought in mind, she moved her head enough to press her ear against his heart, the rhythmic beating lulling her to sleep as his fingers continued to thread through her hair.

Jim hadn't realized that he had dozed off until he jerked awake at the sound of distant thunder. Johanna was still sleeping soundly against him; one of her legs tangled between his. The light spilling from their suite was just enough to allow him to see the face of his watch; it was after three in the morning. He breathed deeply; smelling the scent of rain in the air and almost dozed of again until another rumble of thunder sounded and brought him back to his senses. Carefully he untangled himself from Johanna and rose; stretching for a moment before he gathered her up in his arms and carried her inside. He used his foot to kick the balcony door closed and then carried her to her room and gently laid her on her bed. As he was about to step away, her hand caught his wrist.

"Stay," she mumbled sleepily.

It was a tempting thought, he said to himself, and it wasn't like it would be the first time.

Johanna pulled at his hand. "Stay with me."

"Alright, sweetheart," he whispered as he kicked off his shoes before rounding the bed. He settled in beside her and pulled her back into his arms, his chest pressed against her back; her fingers entwining with his as his arm came around her. She was already asleep again as he brushed his lips against her cheek; sleep swiftly claiming him as well as he soaked up her warmth.

Jim wasn't sure how long he had been laying awake and watching Johanna sleep, but he had a feeling it had been too long. It had been nice to wake up with her all warm and limp in his arms and he had wanted to hold on to that moment for as long as possible and so he had remained in her bed. He was getting too used to this...and it was getting far too tempting. She had since shifted and rolled onto her side, her back facing him, but he didn't budge. He was too entranced by the sight of her; the strap of her dress had fallen off her shoulder, giving him a view of a red satin bra strap. His recent peek into her underwear drawer made him wonder if that satin strap was attached to the red lacy garments he had glimpsed in her drawer. That thought sent a whole host of images through his mind and he shook his head in an attempt to be rid of them. It didn't help much; those wayward thoughts of knowing her more intimately remained as he tried to tear his gaze away from her shoulder. His gaze drifted over her figure; her dress had ridden up in her sleep, giving him a generous view of slim thighs and tan legs.

Jim allowed his hand to fall against the curve of her hip and tried to be content with that contact...but it wanted to move, wanted to explore and learn her in new ways. His fingers itched to slip beneath that red satin strap and lower it from her shoulder so that he could brush his mouth against her smooth strawberry scented skin. He wanted to drag his hands along the lines of her legs, let his fingertips graze along the exposed flesh of her thighs. He had to stop this, Jim thought to himself and yet his hand moved slowly along her side, being careful not to disturb her slumber. Before he realized what he was doing, he had caught hold of that thin satin strap and carefully removed it from her shoulder. He lowered his lips to her skin; brushing feather light kisses along the unobstructed area. Johanna sighed contently in her sleep just as his lips grazed her neck. The sound jerked him back and Jim froze as he observed her. Her breathing was still even; her features still relaxed in sleep.

His panic eased and the scare should've been enough to make him stop, but his wayward hand made its way back to her hip, gliding over it and sliding softly against her thigh; his fingertips lingering there and caressing the soft skin they had come into contact with. Another sigh sounded and her leg moved, causing his hand to settle more fully and firmly on her thigh. Jim jerked his hand back; what the hell was he doing? He had no right to be touching her like that while she was asleep and oblivious. It was different if she was awake and consenting...but he shouldn't be doing this. This was a woman he respected and adored...he had no right to treat her this way...no matter how much he desired her...and desire was burning brightly at the moment. Jim carefully slid the straps of both bra and dress back up on to her shoulder and then he gently pulled at the skirt of her dress, drawing it down enough to cover more of her legs before he slowly backed away from her. Getting up from the bed, he maneuvered the covers out from under her and then drew them up over her sleeping form to keep her warm before he slipped out of the room.

Jim retreated to his own room and dropped down onto the foot of the bed as he raked a hand through his hair. He had to quit sharing a bed with her...it was just too tempting to reach out and touch. It was getting difficult to keep his hands off of her and to keep certain urges under control when she was so near...so warm and beautiful...a playful temptress at times...a woman who could set a fire just by looking at him.

"Stop it," Jim muttered as he surged to his feet and roughly began to gather up clean clothes so he could get a shower. He had the urge to slam the door as he entered the bathroom but he refrained; not wanting to wake Johanna. He didn't know what he was suddenly so angry about anyway but he hoped to be over it before she got up. He didn't want to do anything that would ruin her trip. He just had to get a grip and get his thoughts in order and douse those desires. He couldn't afford to screw this up...the last thing he wanted was to do something stupid and end up losing her.

As he dropped his line into the water later that morning, his gaze darted to Johanna who had laid her pole down next to her on the blanket she had spread out. Her fingers were on the buttons of her shirt and his eyes widened as she undid each one and then began to shrug out of it. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm going to work on my tan," she replied as she laid her shirt aside. She picked up her fishing pole and dropped her line into the water and then she shifted around a bit and laid back on the blanket; her hand lazily holding the rod in the needed position.

Jim couldn't help but stare at the sight she made in her black bikini top and her black shorts; dark sunglasses hiding her eyes from view. "Is that the bikini you bought in Pennsylvania?"

"No; this is one I already owned."

"Why didn't you wear the new one?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "I thought I'd save it for another time."

He went silent and trained his gaze on the creek but it wasn't look before his eyes found their way back to her figure. "Is there a problem?" Johanna asked.

"No; why?"

"You're staring."

"I was not."

"Really? It seemed like it to me."

"I wasn't…I was just thinking."

"Oh, about what?"

"I was just wondering if you had put on sunscreen…I don't want you to burn. I could help you if you haven't."

There was a touch of smugness in her smile. "I thank you for the offer but I've already taken care of it."

"What about your back?"

"My back is against the blanket; I think it's safe."

"Eventually you'll set up and then the sun will be on your back…or you might get tied of fishing and roll over…you want to tan evenly, don't you?"

A soft laugh tumbled from her lips. "If I need help, I'll let you know."

"I won't mind rubbing lotion on your back…better to be safe than sorry."

"Oh I'm sure you wouldn't mind at all; and my face is up here," she said with a wave of her hand.

"I know where it is."

"Just giving you a reminder."

He turned his head back toward the water; managing to keep it in that direction for awhile longer, but his mind and his eyes betrayed him once again and he couldn't help stealing another look.

"You're staring."

"What did you expect, you're half naked."

"I expected this…just like you should've expected me to tease you for it."

He shot her a look. "Is this my punishment? You laying out in a bikini top and shorts to torment me?"

"I don't know…do you feel punished?"

"I'm not answering that."

"So you are feeling punished," she grinned. "Good; that will teach you."

He smirked at her. "Maybe I'll just take my shirt off."

"Go ahead; I don't mind."

Jim peeled off his t-shirt and dropped it onto the bank. "There, now we're even."

Johanna struggled not to react to the sight of him shirtless; her fingers itching to reach out and touch. "I hope you feel better now," she quipped.

"I do."

"Good; do you want me to rub some sunscreen on your back so you don't burn?"

Jim nearly dropped his fishing rod. "Why does that feel like a trick question?"

"I have no idea; I was just being nice."

"Uh huh, sure you were. I know you, Johanna McKenzie…you're up to trickery."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are," he laughed. "If I said yes to that question…you'd probably find some way to devastate me."

"I guess there's only one way to find out."

"Forget it; I don't need sunscreen. I never burn."

"Well give you a medal," she replied saucily.

"What, are you disappointed that you can't get your hands on me?" he asked. "Is it too much for you?"

Johanna laughed. "Oh honey, you're so cute when you're delusional."

"Go ahead and pretend. I know you're looking."

"Not nearly as much as you are."

"If that's what you want to believe."

A comfortable silence fell between them as Jim returned his attention to his task. After an hour of catching nothing, Johanna gave up and sat her pole aside and turned over onto her stomach; keeping her head turned in Jim's direction so she could peer at him from behind her dark glasses.

"Giving up?" he asked; his eyes flicking over her back quickly.

"Yeah; I think I'll just lay here and enjoy the sun."

He nodded; doing his best to act unaffected as he reeled in another fish and took care of it. When he dropped his line back into the water, his gaze darted back to her. "Are you sure you don't want me to rub lotion on your back?"

"I already took care of it."

"I could've spared your arms a lot of twisting, sweetheart."

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time."

A few minutes passed and she felt his eyes on her once more. "Problem?" she asked.

"No; I was just thinking…aren't you supposed to untie those strings so you don't get tan lines?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Jim scoffed. "I was merely thinking of your tan; you don't want lines, do you?"

Johanna smiled as she pushed her sunglasses up with the tip of her finger. "It's so nice of you to be so concerned about my tan…but I like tan lines. Tan lines mean I kept my clothes on…and resisted the charming temptation of Jim Beckett."

"You are going to pay for that one," he laughed; eliciting a giggle from her in response.

'And just how do you plan on making me pay?"

"The next fish I catch is going right on your back."

"It better not!"

"It is; you just wait and see. You have to be punished for your evil ways."

"You better not put a fish on me, Jim! You'll be sorry!"

"No; you'll be sorry," he responded lightly.

She narrowed her eyes at him and then dropped her sunglasses back into place. She watched him for awhile as he fished, but her eyes grew heavy and the warmth of the sun felt good on her back. She dozed lightly until she felt something cold and wet on her back; jerking her awake. "Jim!" she shrieked; realizing what the sensation against her back was as she jerked upwards and saw him pulling the fish away.

He laughed merrily as she swatted at him but he kept dodging her hands. "You're going to get it for that one!" she declared.

"I don't think so," he replied as he scooted away from her. She followed behind, moving every time he did as she tried to get a good shot at him. He got to his feet and ran from her; but she quickly caught up to him and gave him a shove, sending him into the creek.

Johanna laughed wildly as she stood on the bank and watched him sputter in the water. "Did that cool you off?" she asked amid giggles.

Jim smirked at her. "You think this is funny?"

She nodded as he swam closer. "Yeah I do."

"You'll have to pay, you know."

"I don't know any such thing."

"You're about to," he remarked as he reached out and grabbed hold of her leg and pulled; sending her flying into the water with a scream as she couldn't keep her footing.

Jim was laughing as she broke the surface of the water and she splashed water in his face. "You're next punishment is going to be far more severe."

"Bring it on, Sassy," he retorted as he splashed her back; igniting a war as they lunged at each other; trying to dunk one another beneath the surface of the water as their laughter filled the air. She lost her footing and fell into him; causing her to grasp his shoulders to keep from going under. His hands quickly cradled her waist; keeping her steady as she got her bearings. Their laughter faded as the air smoldered between them. He pushed a strand of wet hair back from her face; is thumb lingering and brushing softly against her cheek as her arms looped around his neck. Jim dipped his head and touched his lips to hers; softly at first before deepening the kiss. A shy smile ghosted across her lips when they broke apart. They stood together quietly in the water; their arms still around each other, until she felt something bothering her toes.

"Are you doing something to my toes?" she asked.

"No," he replied with a shake of his head.

"I feel like something's biting me."

"Oh that's just the fish nibbling at you; don't worry; they just want a little taste of you."

She yelped and jumped; wrapping her legs around him. "I am not fish bait!" she declared.

"Well this just got even more interesting," he laughed as he adjusted his hold on her. "Now I've got you right where I want you."

Johanna eyed him. "You carry me up to the bank right now!"

"You're awful bossy for a woman who needs a favor," he teased.

"Let's not forget that we haven't dissolved our pretend marriage," she remarked. "I'm still the wife and it's your job to carry me ashore."

"You didn't mention this when we got pretend married."

"It's not my fault you didn't read the fine print," she remarked. "Now move it, James; and don't think for one minute that I don't know your hand keeps moving lower."

He grinned as he moved in the direction of the bank. "Well if we're still married, then that's my right."

"What's my right?" she asked.

"You have the right to enjoy it, sweetheart," he replied without missing a beat as he sat her on the bank and then climbed out of the water. "And don't act like you don't, because we both know you're lying."

Johanna smirked at him as she suppressed a laugh…but she didn't attempt to deny it.

"I'm afraid I'm turning into my grandmother," Johanna remarked that night as she stepped into Jim's bedroom; where he was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Because I just fished these out of my purse," she replied; handing him the pain relievers in her hand and a glass of water.

"Well, which is worse, turning into your grandmother or your mother?"

She thought about that while he swallowed the pills. "When you put it like that; turning into my grandmother seems like the better option."

"Then don't worry about," Jim replied with a small smile. "I'm glad your purse is open for business."

"You know, you might not have aggravated that shoulder again if you had woke me up last night instead of carrying me inside."

"I didn't want to disturb you; you were sleeping so peacefully...but you did make me carry you to the creek bank…"

She eyed him. "Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

"Maybe."

"Why? It was all your fault to begin with."

"Maybe I was hoping to garner sympathy from my pretend wife," he quipped.

"Take your shirt off," Johanna said with a sigh as she watched him rub his shoulder; his tactic for sympathy reeling her in.

His gaze snapped to her face, his brow raised in surprise and a hint of an amused grin playing on his lips. "Johanna McKenzie, are you trying to get me out of my clothes?"

She rolled her eyes. "You wish."

"Then why the strip show?" he teased.

"I said your shirt, I didn't say strip. I was going to rub those sore muscles in your back and shoulder but if you don't want me to..."

"I didn't say that," he interrupted.

"Then do as I say," she demanded as she eyed him.

He smirked at her and peeled off his black t-shirt. "Happy now?"

She couldn't say that she wasn't; after all, he was a good looking man...but she couldn't go into that; he'd think she had ulterior motives...and he'd tease her forever. "I'm glad you've decided to do things my way."

"Now what?" he asked.

"Lay down."

Jim stretched out on the bed and grinned at her. "I'm all yours, sweetheart."

She smirked at him. "On your stomach, jackass."

"Is that any way to talk to the driver of your getaway car?" he laughed.

"Oh I think it's called for every once in awhile, now are you going to let me do this or am I going to my room?" she asked; flicking a wrist at the room she was supposed to occupy in their shared suite.

"You're not getting out of it now," Jim replied as he rolled over onto his stomach.

Johanna approached the bed and climbed onto it, moving towards him and putting a knee on either side of his waist. He raised his head as he looked back at her; the sight of her in her silky nightgown straddling his hips likely to torment him in his dreams, he thought to himself. "What would your mother think if she saw this?"

"She'd think you'd better marry me," she quipped as she reached out and gently pushed his head back down on the pillow.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I got you that ring out of the bubble gum machine."

"I guess so; the real question is; what would your mother think of this?"

He chuckled lightly; "She'd probably think she was right about you."

"Then I guess we better not tell her," Johanna replied as she laid her hands against his skin and began to massage his shoulder.

He sucked in a breath at the feel of her fingertips against his skin; sending a fiery jolt through his veins.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked softly, pausing her ministrations.

"No, sweetheart...you're doing fine." She was doing far more than she imagined, he thought as she resumed her task.

Silence fell between them as she worked out the knots in his back and the soreness in his shoulder, the atmosphere feeling charged and intimate, each one of them unsure of what to say.

Johanna wasn't sure how much time had passed as she remained caught up in her task but she figured she should probably stop...and yet her hands continued to move over his back seemingly of their own accord. She couldn't help but revel in the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips...the strength she could feel in the muscles of his back and shoulders. She always had the urge to touch him and it seemed as though her hands had taken it upon themselves to drink their fill. Her touch gentled into caresses; moving over him with a practiced ease, as if she had spent a lifetime running her hands over his body. His eyes were closed and she thought that she had lulled him to sleep and that he wouldn't notice as her fingers danced along the line of his arms; his skin warm against her hands, reminding her of the warmth she always found in his embrace. Her breath caught and her heart fluttered...she should stop...but she couldn't.

Jim kept his eyes closed; trying hard to control the thoughts that were running through his mind. Thoughts of turning over as she remained hovering over him...thoughts of sliding his hand beneath the hem of her nightgown and allowing it to glide over soft, warm curves; exploring the feel of her skin as thoroughly as she was exploring his. He thought about how he'd like to rid her of that silky confection she was wearing and bring her to rest against him so that he could feel his chest pressed against hers. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her dark hair and capture her lips in long languid kisses. He wanted so many things in that moment and he could see them clearly in his minds eye, making it hard for him to breathe. He was going to have to ask her to stop...but then he felt the brush of her lips against his shoulder and then his neck; the whisper of silk against his flesh...and he couldn't control the urge any longer.

Jim turned beneath her; his hands moving with lightning speed to cradle her waist and keep her in place as she scrambled to move. They didn't speak as he held her in place; their gazes locking upon one another. Her breathing was somewhat rapid, her eyes wide as she was startled at being caught when she had been so sure that he was asleep.

He held her gaze, his hand slipping away from her waist and falling against her thigh, his thumb rubbing soft circles there for a moment before he became bold enough to allow his hand to slip beneath her hem just as he had imagined. Her eyes fluttered shut as his hand gently glided over the lacy material he found at her hip and then slid toward the small of her back, applying gentle pressure to bring her closer to him; his body supporting her weight as he guided her to rest against his chest. Jim dragged his hand higher as he caressed her back; his brow rising in surprise as he didn't encounter the band of her bra. He knew her well enough to know that she rarely ever went without a bra, even at night. He'd held her and hugged her enough times when she was in her nightgown and he had almost always felt those tell tale signs of bra straps. Her eyes flicked open and met his gaze, as if she knew what he was thinking as his fingers continued to roam over her back. She said nothing, merely allowed her fingertips to slide along his chest sensuously. He pressed her closer; his free hand tangling in her hair as he captured her lips in a kiss.

Jim never could stop at just one kiss when it came to her...especially now when he so desperately needed a taste of her. Those long languid kisses he had been envisioning had veered into passion; red hot flames of desire guiding and driving them as they kept drawing each other back for more. His hand slipped out from under her nightgown and he wrapped his arms around her as he rolled her onto her back.

Anticipation fluttered in Johanna's stomach as she looked up at him, her breathing ragged. Her thoughts were a jumble; her world made up solely of need and feeling in that moment. Sensing no hesitation on her part, Jim caught her lips in another searing kiss; his hand eager to explore as it fell to her leg and followed the line of it, her knee bending in response. He forced his mouth away from hers; dragging his lips down the column of her throat before seeking out that special spot on her neck. She responded to the gesture as always, a soft sigh crossing her lips as her own hands resumed their exploration of him. His lips eventually recaptured hers and she was lost in the moment until she felt his hands beneath her nightgown once more, this time slowly sliding the material upwards.

She hadn't meant for things to go this far and she wasn't sure she was ready to cross this line...no matter how badly she wanted it...and she wanted it pretty damn badly at the moment. She loved him…but they just couldn't this right now. Nervous tension filled her body. She wasn't ready for this...and maybe he wasn't either. They couldn't skate back across this line once they crossed it. Tonight wasn't the right time.

Jim felt the change in her; her hands no longer moving against his skin, her kisses becoming more restrained. She had changed her mind, she wasn't ready…it wasn't easy to think of stopping now but he'd never pressure her to do something she wasn't comfortable with. Tonight wasn't the night to take this step. He kissed her softly a few times and then slowly pulled back from her; his heart pounding as he gazed at her flushed face and tousled hair. Stopping was the right thing...but that didn't keep him from wishing that they were going on.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice husky as he brushed a lock of her hair back from her face.

Her gaze was apologetic and he could see the words forming on her tongue as she opened her mouth to speak. "I'm so..."

"No," he whispered; laying his fingers against her lips before brushing a chaste kiss against her mouth. "Don't be sorry...I don't want you to be sorry."

Johanna nodded in understanding and whispered goodnight as she slowly forced herself out of his bed. She tried not to hurry too much as she moved to the door, but once she was out of his sight she increased her pace and hurried into her room, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it. What had she almost done? How did things get so out of control so quickly? "You know the answer to that," she said to herself.

She had turned an innocent gesture into a self fulfilling need to continue touching him...and then to kiss him. She thought he was asleep; that he wouldn't know that she had given in to the urge to explore...to press her lips against his skin. Her heart was still racing; her stomach still fluttering with anticipation of a moment that wouldn't happen...of something she couldn't have. Maybe that would teach her to assume things...and to keep her hands to herself, but she doubted it. She just couldn't seem to help herself when it came to him...that always seemed to be the case when she loved a man; and she did love him. The acknowledgment was still new to her, but her heart was comfortable with the notion. Was that why she had been so temporarily willing to cross that line?

Johanna pushed away from the door with a sigh and crossed the room to the window which she opened; allowing the summer breeze to flow into the room and to caress her heated skin. She only gave herself to a man when she loved him...that had always been her rule. When Sharon had asked her if she'd sleep with Jim if he made the move, she had said yes and maybe that should've been her first clue about the truth and depth of her feelings...and yet when the move had been made, she had gotten nervous and panicked; pulling back...and being the man that he was, he had stopped without hesitation and without anger.

Another sigh escaped her; there was a part of her that wanted to throw the door open and go back to him...slip back into his bed and allow him to do what he wanted with her...and enjoy every second of it. She wanted it and maybe she hadn't realized just how badly she wanted him; how much she ached to feel his hands on her...how much she wanted to revel in the fire of his kiss...how she wanted to know him in the most intimate ways possible. But she couldn't. Why not?

Johanna paced a few steps and then perched on the edge of the bed. "You know the answer to that too," she whispered to herself. She couldn't take that last step because she didn't know how he felt about her. There was no commitment between them; no words of love. Oh she could cast those things aside and dive in...but she didn't want to do that. She wanted him to make love to her, but only if he loved her...only if he wanted to be with her...and she wasn't brave enough to broach that conversation. What if she had already blown it with her actions tonight? How could she have let herself loose control like that? Johanna blew out a weighted breath and allowed herself to fall back onto the bed. It was going to be a long night of worry and doubts...and what ifs, and the morning would probably bring a lot of awkwardness. What was she going to do now?

"You're so stupid," Johanna muttered to herself as she scrubbed her hands over her face. "So very stupid." What was she going to do...what were they going to do? Had they just thrown a wrench into things or would they be able to get past it once the anticipated awkwardness wore off? She hoped they'd get past it; she'd never forgive herself if she had just upset the applecart.