Briseis buried her face into her hands, unsure of what to say or do.
"What's the matter? Are you alright?"
Kili's concern was evident in his voice as he came a step closer, bringing with him the slightly sweet scent of patchouli and leather. But this time, blood and sweat overwhelmed the prince's fragrance.
The girl sighed hugely, trying to think of what to say.
She was just so tired.
"Is he okay?" She asked lamely before prying her hands away to stare at the youngest prince despondently. Briseis was so exhausted and defeated by everything that had happened in the past few days; for every problem she solved, every hurdle she climbed, ten more seemed to come out of nowhere determined to beat her down.
"He's unconscious, one of the guards accidentally knocked him out."
"What's going to happen to him?" She asked, trying to pour an ounce of emotion into the question, but her inquiry came out flat. She was burnt out; physically, mentally and in every other way possible.
"Well…given precedence..." Kili fidgeted uncomfortably, scratching the back of his head as he avoided her gaze. "He's likely to be hung once Thorin wakes up."
The thud her heart made as it fell to the pit of her stomach was nearly audible, and nothing but a dull ache at the back of her head was triggered by his words as she tried to sort through the mess of emotions which threatened to split her suddenly aching brain.
"We can't let anything happen to him," she whispered almost to herself.
No one was going to harm a man for trying to save his daughter.
Not when she was the one responsible for sparing the King.
If Alanah's father was hung, it would be her fault for letting Thorin live to carry out the sentence.
"Kili please, you have to promise me that man won't be killed," she begged, the wavering of her voice and the moisture in her eyes telltale signs that she was on the verge of a breakdown.
"Briseis, he tried to murder the King of Erebor- we -"
"I tried to murder the King of Erebor!" The young Healer from Norwoth Dale shouted, her hysterical confession echoing through the still halls. "After I took an oath to never willingly take a life, I- I…."
Briseis could feel the crushing weight of guilt and regret ready to consume her. Saying the words aloud made her realize the full weight of what she had nearly done - of what she promised Fili she would do if Thorin failed to recover. Or of what Thorin might do when he awoke...
Kili's usually good natured face was perturbed; unsure of whether or not to step in and offer consolation.
"I nearly slit his throat in front of everyone tonight." The girl continued, unable to stop the tears which escaped her burning eyes. "Would you have seen me hanged as well?"
At this, the young Dwarf's face darkened and the girl saw an unmistakable glint of anger burning deep within his olive brown eyes.
"Don't ever say that again," Kili's tone was calm but she could see the hard set line of his jaw, clenched tightly in the dim torchlight
Briseis instantly felt like a brat and sighed again, rubbing her face vigorously with both hands as though the gesture would somehow clear the ache from her head.
"I'm sorry that was rude - I just need a shower and some sleep."
She turned and without notice, both knees gave out from underneath her.
"Easy!" Kili's strong arms were around her in an instant, saving her from the cold, hard ground.
She hadn't realized that her knees were wobbling and her hands were numb, the unmistakable chill of shock starting to creep its way through her system.
"I'm fine," she lied, pushing herself up only to collapse onto the prince's chest, grabbing his tunic like a lifeline.
Kili's mouth was set into a tight line as he bent forward and scooped the obstinate young girl into his arms with as much effort as picking up a sack of potatoes. He gave her a pointed glare, wordlessly daring her to protest before heading in the opposite direction.
Briseis hated to admit it, but this felt wonderful. She gave herself a minute to enjoy the dark, earthy scent of her favourite Dwarf as she nestled into his chest, closing her eyes while enjoying the sound of his strong, steady heartbeat.
A few moments passed in blissful silence, broken only by the thud of Kili's boots against the ground before the girl with the grey eyes sighed deeply and pushed away from him.
The prince kept marching forward without a hitch in his step.
"Kili - I need to bathe."
The young nephew of Thorin looked ahead, a deep scowl marring his features as he refused to glance down at her; his feelings apparently still hurt from earlier.
"Kili, please," Briseis reached up and cupped his face with her hand. He came to an abrupt halt, his slight beard tickling her skin as he turned to look at her, clearly taken aback.
She noticed the way his cheeks flushed at her lingering touch, his almond shaped eyes softening immensely before he closed them, taking a deep breath and nuzzling his face against her outstretched palm like a lost dog whom had finally found his owner.
"You need to eat and get some rest. Bathing can wait till morning." Kili stated softly, his eyes raking over her desperately tired visage.
But Briseis persisted, whispering into the night like a frightened child.
"I need to get his blood off of me."
Kili's brow creased ever so slightly before he nodded once, chastely pressing his lips to her hand for a moment.
The faintest trace of a smile swept across her lips at the gesture and she gently stroked the side of his cheek before letting her arm fall limply back into her lap, too exhausted to fight being carried like an infant.
And without another word, they headed silently towards the bathing chambers.
The process of scrubbing her skin raw took much longer than she had intended, hoping beyond hope that the scars around her wrists would somehow wash away the longer she scratched at them.
But she found herself now staring at them numbly as she slowly ate her second plate of salted pork and vegetables. The hot bath, plethora of food, water and comfortable robes Kili had provided, gave the girl with the grey eyes a second wind. She felt immensely less horrible, yet the dull ache at the back of her head continued to throb.
"I think I'll head out for the night," Kili declared softly, interrupting her trance as he got up to leave his own chambers. He had insisted she stay here while he bunked with his brother. Briseis had agreed, but now as she saw him heading towards the door, she felt a small balloon of panic bubble in her chest.
The Privileged jumped off of the Dwarf's mattress as though she had been launched across the room, hastily setting down the tray of food before meeting him at the exit.
He gave her a perplexed stare, glancing around him to see if she had tripped over anything.
But Briseis stood there staring stupidly at him with wide, unblinking eyes as she fought with herself internally. She knew how inappropriate it would seem if she asked him to remain here with her for the night, but an overwhelming part of her simply did not care anymore.
She did not want to be alone with her thoughts.
Not tonight.
Kili gave her another small smile before slowly heaving the slab of stone open, infinitesimally moving to make his way out - he was clearly stalling.
"Stay?" The young Healer finally blurted out breathlessly, banishing her own mental mothering.
Kili had all but disappeared from view until he heard her voice, rebounding back inside like a boomerang.
"What?" The dwarf looked hopeful, his olive brown eyes guarded as though he was sure he had misheard her request.
Briseis sighed and smiled at him earnestly.
"Stay with me here, please?"
Kili's face instantly brightened, then fell just as fast.
"What is it?" The girl asked warily, disliking the way his feathery brows seemed to knit together.
"I-I shouldn't, if someone were to find us here together…"
The girl scoffed derisively, after all they had been through he still cared about people's thoughts on indecency.
She had been planning on arguing harder, but whether it was the look on her face or Kili's own desire to stay, he gave up almost immediately.
"Fine, but we divide the bed with pillows," he leveraged, smiling brightly. His beautiful, carefree grin was back and it brightened Briseis' soul to see it.
The girl knew he was only taking the extra precautions because of what had nearly happened to them at Thorin's behest. She believed with every ounce of her being that Kili meant what he'd said to her - that he would have rather died than defile her - but was still incredibly grateful for his sensitivity about the matter.
"Sounds like a deal to me," she agreed with a shrug of her shoulders.
"I call right side!" The prince of Erebor declared, slamming the door shut again and racing towards his bed like a child before jumping onto the plush mattress and landing face down in the pillows with a loud thud.
Briseis snorted when a small cloud of feathers exploded from under the dwarf who had clearly popped one of his cushions.
"Shit," he hissed, instantly bobbing back up and shoving the bolster which was now spewing white feathers in the middle of the mattress.
The eldest child of Alex Ocherfell laughed quietly before shaking her head at him, walking over to the bed and laying down carefully on her side as she looked up at him with enormous gratitude.
She owed this dwarf her life, and she would be eternally grateful for everything he had done.
The two stared at each other for a few moments, lost in their own thoughts until Briseis yawned, the unmistakable pull of sleep dragging her closer and closer over the edge.
Kili sighed contentedly and got up once more to blow out the candles, leaving the girl in the crushing darkness for a split second before she felt the mattress sink as he climbed back onto his side of the bed.
How he had been able to see in the pitch black, she had no idea but smiled again as she felt a cool gust of air blow across her before the thick duvet fell upon her from above.
Silence engulfed the room for a few moments and despite her nearly debilitating need for sleep, Briseis couldn't rest just yet. Thorin's golden eyes with slits black as the abyss stared at her from out of the shadows.
"What was he like back then? Thorin, I mean. Before…" She asked finally, the question burning in her mind since Sel had mentioned it earlier today.
There was a brief pause where Kili shifted hugely in the bed, the unmistakable tickle of a feather announced itself as the plumage landed on her nose before she blew it off, waiting for his answer.
"He was…" - The prince paused for much too long, but finally carried on - "brooding, quiet...haughty as all hell. Absolutely no sense of humor."
Briseis' mouth twitch slightly and despite the darkness, she could almost hear the dwarf beside her grinning at the many memories of his once dear uncle.
"But he was also kind, gentle and compassionate. He once nursed an entire nest of birds back to health after Fi and I accidentally knocked it out of a tree."
She didn't know why, but the girl's heart did somersaults as she heard Kili's description, hoping that there was still some good in Thorin left for her to save.
"He was brave, courageous and…he was always there for us." The youngest nephew of the King cleared his throat suddenly, trying to clear out the thick ball of emotion forming. "My father died soon after my birth, but Thorin was always there. He raised us like his own sons and even when we lost mum..." Kili suddenly broke off, clearing his throat again loudly.
Briseis realized her own tears were streaking down the side of her temples as she clung onto every word the dwarf spoke like her life depended on it.
She slowly reached down and grabbed Kili's hand from his side, relishing in his strength and in the warmth against her cold skin as his fingers wrapped around her own tightly.
"We'll get him back," the girl with the grey eyes promised again.
The prince sniffled and brought their hands up to his mouth, pressing his wet nose and chapped lips to her skin and breathing in deeply.
The two fell silent once more, and within minutes the chambers were filled with the blissful sound of snoring as they fell into a dreamless sleep, still holding onto each other.