Reflections

by evitascarlett

A companion piece to 'Apologize'. Chronicling the lives and love story of Jim and Johanna Beckett through the years. See Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter One for more details! Cover art by LordofKavaka

32. Chapter 32- Oh What A Night

Chapter 32 – Oh What A Night

The night had looked so promising when it had began, Johanna thought to herself as she sat alone at a table in the hotel ballroom where the law firm was throwing their New Year's Eve party. She picked up her second glass of champagne and took a long sip. Jim had picked her up at six as planned and they had dinner together before heading to the party. He had been attentive as usual, showering her with compliments about the way she looked in the black sequined dress he had encouraged her to buy while Christmas shopping. Her cheeks had warmed under his admiring gaze…and she had happily accepted his kiss as they had sat in the back of the cab; his car left at home in anticipation of the drinks they'd be having all evening. Yes, it had all looked very promising. They had met up with Sharon, Phil, Jeff and Maggie at the party; shared a drink together and had been enjoying themselves.

Somehow, that had gone wrong. Jim had been called away by a colleague but he had promised to return. She hadn't minded; she knew he'd be back and she had taken some time to talk to a few friends of her own. But Jim had yet to return to her side. He had gotten waylaid by Melanie Thompson. She had overlooked it for the first ten minutes; but it was now almost forty-five minutes later and he had yet to extricate himself from her clutches. In fact, he looked like he had forgotten about her completely. The thought stung her heart and she looked down into her champagne glass. What reason could he have for staying away for so long? Was Melanie's company so much better than hers? He had brought her after all, not the bimbo…who kept shooting her catty looks over Jim's shoulder, her eyes gleaming like she had just won a prize.

"Johanna," an accented voice said at her side.

She looked up and found Antonio Caruthers smiling down at her. "Hello, Antonio," she greeted, conjuring up a smile for the man.

He reached for her hand and kissed it. "I was hoping that you might do me the honor of dancing with me?"

Her smile came more easily this time. "I'd love to…if it's alright with your date?"

He gave a soft laugh. "I assure you that Isabel is fine with it; you have nothing to worry about."

"That's good to know," she replied as she accepted his hand. "I wouldn't want to start any trouble."

"No trouble," Antonio stated; and then a mischievous gleam entered his eye; "Unless you think there will be trouble for me?"

"Obviously not," Johanna told him, giving a subtle nod in Jim's direction.

Antonio gave her a sympathetic smile as he led her to the dance floor. "Yes, I saw that," he remarked. He had seen it and paid close attention to the situation, feeling somewhat sorry for his colleague as her date left her abandoned at the table; her friends paired off on the dance floor. She truly did have nothing to worry about from Isabel; it had been his girlfriend's idea for him to ask her to dance, noticing how lonely she looked by herself. He of course had hoped to dance with her anyway; he did consider her a friend…but if even Isabel could pick up on her despair from a distance, then things were truly going poorly for her.

They were quiet as their dance began and he caught her eyes darting to the other side of the dance floor where Melanie had apparently coaxed Jim into dancing with her. "He's being foolish again, isn't he?" Antonio asked; bringing her gaze back to his face.

She smiled. "He just can't seem to help himself in that respect."

"Well don't fret too much, senorita; he'll be back to normal soon. Maybe if he sees us dancing together, he'll come running to knock me down and carry you away."

Johanna laughed. "Is that why you asked me to dance? You're trying to recapture my date for me?"

Antonio shook his head as he laughed. "No; I'm dancing with you because I truly wanted to…the rest would just be a bonus for you."

"That's sweet of you."

"I always try to make ladies happy," he replied; "But sometimes we men make foolish mistakes."

"I've noticed."

"Yes, I'm sure you have…but we always figure it out eventually. Jim will be sorry for what he's doing, mark my words. He'd never choose her over you in the long run. Jim isn't a man who wants someone who lacks class and feeling. That's why he loves you; you have class and feeling and many other fine qualities."

"I don't know about the love part, but I appreciate the rest," she answered.

"It's love, senorita; trust me. It's in his eyes; they do not lie when he looks at you. Melanie sees you as competition, she wants to take what is yours, but you will defeat her. I have no doubt."

Johanna smiled warmly. "Antonio, I want to hire you as my cheerleader."

He laughed. "I'm afraid I wouldn't look good in a cheerleading uniform."

"I don't know about that," she grinned. "Handsome men can pull off almost anything."

"Now you are the sweet one," he replied; "And before I'm too terribly remiss in my duties, please allow me to tell you that you look very beautiful tonight."

"Thank you," Johanna replied; a blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I would like for you to meet Isabel when our dance is over, if that's okay with you?"

She nodded. "I'd love to meet her."

She was telling the truth, she would like to meet the lady that Antonio adored but there was also the thought in mind that maybe if Jim saw her circulating some more that he'd get the hint and come back to her.

---

Johanna's temper was simmering as she stood in the ladies room later on with Sharon and Maggie. Jim still had yet to return to their table. There were moments when it looked like he was finally going to pull away from Melanie's clutches but then the woman would say something and apparently draw him back in. She couldn't stand it, and a part of her wanted to walk up to him and slap him as a reminder of who he was there with but she couldn't. That would just be fodder for the gossip mongers and it was probably what Melanie wanted. Besides, she wasn't about to beg any man to spend the evening with her if he didn't want to. She roughly pulled the cap off of her lipstick and gave her lips a touch up. Sharon eyed her silently as she touched up her own make-up. She could feel the anger rolling off of her friend and for once she was at a loss for what to say.

Maggie snapped her compact shut and turned towards them, apparently taking on the task of being the one to break the silence. "Why don't you just walk up to him and remind him that he's here with you, Jo?"

"No," Johanna stated; her tone tight with tension. "He knows that he brought me and if he's changed his mind about wanting to be here with me, that's fine. I won't force myself on anybody."

"You're not forcing yourself on anyone," Maggie replied. "You're just staking your claim."

"I don't have a claim," she said bitterly as she threw her lipstick back into her purse.

"For tonight you do."

"Apparently I don't."

"Maggie," Sharon said as she saw her opening her mouth to speak again. "Don't."

Maggie wisely took the advice and clamped her mouth shut while Johanna fussed with her hair. Sharon had a feeling that there wouldn't be any getting through to her stubborn friend tonight. The woman could only take so much of being passive and allowing things to roll off her back, after all she had left Jim off the hook pretty easily for his last faux pas. It looked like he wasn't going to be so lucky this time around…of course he was cavorting with the enemy in a manner of speaking.

The door of the bathroom opened and Melanie Thompson sauntered in; her cronies Callie and Jillian following behind her. "Well look at what we have here," Melanie said cattily. "Three nobodies."

"Don't talk about yourself like that, Melanie," Sharon remarked. "You deserve far worse."

Melanie sniffed. "You think you're so much and you're nothing. Landing Phil Harper was no special feat; anyone could've done it."

"Except for you apparently," Johanna stated, coming to Sharon's defense. "Apparently Phil is one of the few men in this firm with enough morals not to lower himself to your level so that his name could be added to your list."

The woman gave a dismissive toss of her head. "It isn't my fault if he has no taste. I didn't want the big bore anyway."

"Sure you didn't," Johanna replied sarcastically.

Melanie's eyes narrowed and she shifted her attention back to Sharon. "I will give you credit though, Sharon; at least you're able to hold on to your man…Johanna doesn't seem to have that ability. She can't even hold a man's attention for an entire evening even when he's her date…not that it surprises me."

Johanna smirked. "Oh believe me, Melanie; I've had his attention many, many times…far more often than you."

"It's so cute how you actually think you have a chance," the other woman crooned. "You may as well give it up, Johanna. You're not his type."

"I wasn't aware that you were an expert on what his type is."

Melanie gave a small laugh. "Well I am more in tune with how men think than you are, dear. You see, I have much more experience in handling them than you do. I know what men want and what they like. You're just not it."

She nodded. "But sluts like you are?"

Sharon stifled a laugh as Melanie bristled at the term. "Slut is a word used by women who can't attract men."

"Is that so?" Johanna asked. "I wasn't aware that I can't attract men…I mean every time he's shared my bed he's seemed to enjoy it."

Her adversary's nose wrinkled and she caught sight of Maggie's wide eyed look at the statement she had made. She hated herself a little for implying that Jim had been in her bed for less than platonic reasons…but in all honesty, they did have a few steamy encounters in bedrooms so it wasn't that much of a lie. This was all his fault anyway, he could just live with the implication that he had slept with her if it got back to him.

"He was probably just taking pity on you."

"Well then you'd think it would've been a one time thing…you know; kind of like whatever it was you supposedly had with him?"

A red tinge of anger stained Melanie's cheeks as she licked her lips in agitation. "I assure you that I'm far more impressive than you."

"Apparently you're not as impressive as you think you are…I mean he came to me and hasn't given you much of a backward glance, now has he?"

"Maybe that's just what he wants you to think."

"I think I know him better than you do, Melanie."

"Maybe, maybe not…you're not his type. You're a plain, boring little mouse, Johanna. You need to go find someone like you and let Jim move on to a real woman."

Johanna laughed. "And I suppose you know one for him?"

Her enemy arched a brow. "You can't compete with me."

"Well that's where we disagree; you see, you said he needs a real woman and out of the two of us, I'm the real one."

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" Melanie asked haughtily.

"It means that when I go on vacation, I might come back a little tan but otherwise I'm the same. When you come back from vacation, you have a new nose and cup size."

"There's nothing wrong with enhancing my beauty!"

"Oh but there is," Johanna smiled. "You see, my bra size isn't as big as yours but at least what's in it is all mine, given to me by God. There hasn't been any surgical enhancement. Just like my nose, it's the one I was born with. My parts are all real…yours were manufactured in Dr Frankenstein's laboratory. I mean just look at you, with your fake eyelashes…mine are real, naturally long lashes; I don't need fake ones. My fingernails are real too…yours aren't. My hair color is natural, yours isn't. So you see, I'm the real woman here…you're just a plastic whore. You lose."

"You take that back!" Melanie yelled.

"No," Johanna said with a shake of her head. "You gave me your opinion of me, now you'll get my opinion of you. I will say though that if you want to sue for this most recent nose job, I do have a friend who is excellent with malpractice cases. I'd be happy to refer you."

"I think we should go now, Jo," Sharon remarked; seeing the fury on Melanie's face.

"I'm not going anywhere. She came in here looking for a fight and she found it."

"You just think you're so cute," Melanie seethed.

Johanna gave a shrug. "I can't help it if my parents have good genes and yours didn't."

"How about I slap that smug look off of your prissy face?"

Johanna smiled. "Bitch, if you're feeling froggy, start leaping; because I'm ready."

Melanie stepped closer. "You think I can't take you?"

"I know you can't."

"Let's not do this," Jillian remarked from her place at the wall. "You know you're better than her, Melanie; you don't need to prove anything more."

"Oh I think I do," she remarked.

"What are you going to do?" Johanna asked; "Talk me to death?"

"Jo," Sharon said; warning in her tone. "Walk away from this; you're better than this."

She shook her head. "No; it's time she got her ass kicked...we can only hope that she hasn't had something surgically injected into it that will cushion the blow."

Melanie moved even closer. "You're just a real comedian, Johanna; it's too bad you're not as funny as you think you are."

"You just don't grasp the concept of humor, Melanie; I'm not surprised...after all, women who are always searching for their next victim have little time for laughs."

"Slap her across her smart mouth," Callie goaded.

"Hey, Callie," Maggie said; "What's that brown spot on your nose?"

The woman wiped at her nose as Maggie continued studying her. "Oh wait," Maggie said, acting as though she had noticed something; "That's just from having your nose up Melanie's ass. I'm sorry for causing alarm; I'm sure you're used to that spot being there."

"Do you want to start something too?" Callie asked angrily.

Maggie shrugged. "I'm ready when you are."

"No!" Sharon exclaimed. "No fighting!"

"What fighting?" Johanna asked. "I'm still waiting on Miss big bad ass to make her move."

"I've got a move for you, miss high and mighty," Melanie said as she reached out and gave Johanna a shove that sent her flying back against the sink.

She laughed as she steadied herself. "You call that a move? Are we on the playground?" she asked, reaching out and giving Melanie a hard shove of her own, sending the woman sprawling onto her backside on the floor.

"You bitch," Melanie seethed from her place on the floor.

"Get up," Johanna said angrily; "Let's do this before the year is over."

Melanie got to her feet and lunged toward Johanna but she sidestepped and the woman only managed to grab a lock of her hair which she pulled. "Melanie, you fight like a little girl," Johanna said as she sunk her nails into the woman's hand to make her let go. "I expected more from you; this is such a disappointment. If you can't fight, how can we believe that you're the goddess you think you are in bedroom? I think you're all talk and very little action."

"And you're all mouth!" Melanie retorted.

"At least I use my mouth for its intended purposes...from what we've heard in the break room, we can't say the same about you."

Melanie's eyes widened with fury. "At least people don't compare me to an iceberg! You think you're so well liked and you're not. You're always alone and you'll always be alone because no one wants a hoity toity, straight laced little prissy ass mouse like you. You probably don't have a passionate bone in your body. You're far too serious and arrogant. Men like a woman who is adventurous and doesn't remind them of their old fashioned mothers. You're only hope is to find some desperate, sorry excuse for a man to take you on, and it won't be Jim Beckett. You don't have what it takes."

Johanna drew back to hit her but Sharon jumped in between them. "No; this ends now. I don't feel like going to jail with you tonight, Jo."

"Then leave," she told her; "Because I'm sick of her and the way she prances around here, thinking she's above everyone and that she can take whatever she pleases because she's got it in her head that she's Melanie the Magnificent. It's time to knock her back down where she belongs."

"You and what army?"

"I'll back her up," Maggie remarked. "I don't mind going to jail tonight."

"Stop it," Sharon exclaimed once more. "This is ridiculous. If Jim wants her, let him have her, Jo. He'll soon realize the error of his ways."

It hurt to hear her best friend utter those words but she bit back the tears that threatened to fill her eyes as Melanie smiled smugly. "Look at that, even your own friend knows you don't stand a chance against me."

"Get out of my sight, Melanie," she remarked; her tone low and furious; "Before I reconstruct your face."

Melanie's smug smile didn't leave her lips but she backed away. "Oh I'm going...I'm going back out there with your date. You know he hasn't even mentioned you once? He hasn't even attempted to bring up the need to get back to your side. I guess that shows just what he thinks of you...you're only good enough if no one better is around. You may as well give it up, Johanna. I'll have Jim Beckett before you ever will. You mark my words."

"Don't bet on it," Johanna said through clenched teeth.

Melanie only laughed and smoothed a wrinkle from her dress before she swept from the room, her cronies following behind her with parting glares. Johanna turned and gripped the sink; Melanie had her on one point; Jim didn't seem to care that he had abandoned her shortly after arrival. Maybe he didn't care as much as she thought he did. Maybe he was just making a fool out of her. It hurt...and behind the hurt was more anger. She loved him, loved him so much it hurt and in that instant, she also hated him. How could be so callous...how could he treat her this way? Was this some sort of payback for those times she had had lunch with Antonio?

"Jo?" Sharon said, her hand falling against her back.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have let her get to you like that. It's what she wanted."

Johanna's gaze cut toward her friend. "Thanks for the lecture and your support."

"Hey, I'm not the one who pissed you off so don't take it out on me," Sharon retorted.

"Let's just take a few minutes of silence and get ourselves back together," Maggie suggested. "Maybe Jim has come to his senses by now and remembered who his date is and things can shift back into balance, okay?" The two women sharing the room with her nodded and they all fell silent; hoping the night would turn for the better.

---

Johanna stepped out of the ladies room several minutes later after they had composed themselves, Sharon and Maggie trailing along with her and her eyes scanned the ballroom for Jim. She spotted him at buffet table and right next to him once again was Melanie Thompson…as the woman has promised. She saw red. Her patience was finally at the end of its rope and her temper had caught fire. She wouldn't stay there and be made a fool of for a moment longer.

"I'm done here," she told Sharon. "I've had just about all I'm going to take."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm leaving," she replied; her tone somewhat tart as she felt the message should've been obvious.

"Where are you going to go?" Maggie asked.

"Home," Johanna answered, turning on her heel and striding for the ballroom's exit.

Jim caught a flash of black sequins from the corner of his eye and he jerked his head in their direction just in time to see Johanna sailing through the ballroom, making her way out to the lobby where she was apparently demanding her coat at the desk. He sat down his drink and moved to hurry after her but Melanie clutched his arm and held him back.

"Let her go, Jim," she remarked, a slightly malevolent smile gracing her lips. "You'll have a better time with me."

"I highly doubt that," he replied as he pulled her fingers from his arm.

"You have been so far," she replied, capturing his hand. "I thought we were having a nice time, didn't you?"

"I'm here with Johanna."

Melanie shrugged. "Well she's leaving…she's not the kind of girl who knows how to enjoy a party. She's all wrong for you anyway. She isn't your type at all."

"And you are?" he asked.

Melanie gave a small toss of her head. "I'm a closer match than she is. You've had your little fling with her, now it's time to move on to more interesting pursuits. You know we'll have fun together."

"I don't want you," Jim said firmly, shaking off her grasp.

She laughed. "I don't believe that for a moment. I mean seriously, who would choose Johanna McKenzie over me?"

"I would," he remarked. He didn't get to see the hardness settle across Melanie's features nor did he hear the words she stated in reply as he abruptly moved away from her. He walked as quickly as possible through the crowded room and into the lobby. Johanna had already collected her coat and she was no longer inside.

He broke into a run then, his own coat forgotten as he bounded out of the hotel and into the frosty night air. His eyes scanned the area, hoping she was standing back near the building waiting for a cab but he had no such luck. Swiveling his gaze in the opposite direction, he saw her walking down the sidewalk and away from the hotel at a clipped pace, anger radiating off of her even from a distance.

"Johanna!" he called out as he hurried in her direction.

She froze at the sound of her name but then resumed her pace. "Johanna," he yelled again, increasing his speed as he ran down the sidewalk, hoping that neither one of them would slip on the fresh dusting of snow coating the walkway. Finally he caught up with her and he reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me," she said angrily as she tried to shake off his grasp.

"Stop flailing, you're going to fall," he told her.

"What do you care?"

"What kind of question is that?" Jim asked sharply; "And just where the hell are you going? Don't you think you could've told me your plans?"

Johanna scoffed and finally jerked her arm free of his grasp. "I would've told you my plans but I didn't want to interrupt your time with Melanie; it seemed to be so important to you."

"Jo, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to talk to her for so long when she stopped me."

"Yeah right," she said with a bitter laugh. "You really looked like you were suffering."

"Come on, sweetheart; you know it wasn't like you're making it out to be."

Her eyes widened and snapped with fire. "Really? Because to me it looked like you were making a fool out of me!"

"A fool?"

"Yes, a fool," Johanna repeated. "I came with you…everyone knows that we're here together and then I get to watch you with someone else while some people give me pity because I've obviously lost my date to another woman."

"You didn't lose me; I was coming to find you."

"Do you think I'm stupid!"

"No…maybe a little overly dramatic at the moment but definitely not stupid. There wasn't anything going on, I wasn't leaving with her. I didn't mean for her to take up so much of my time; you know she doesn't mean anything to me."

Johanna shook her head. "It didn't look that way from where I was sitting. If you didn't want to come with me, then you shouldn't have asked me."

"I do want to be here with you! Let's go back inside, I promise I won't leave your side for the rest of the night."

The remark only increased her ire. "Oh so now you're going to patronize me?"

"I'm not patronizing you, Jo."

"Yes you are! Just like you've been making a fool out of me, well I'm done. If you want that whore, you go in there and have at her, I don't give a damn."

"If you didn't give a damn you wouldn't be out here yelling at me."

"No one's keeping you from leaving," she retorted. "Go on back in there with your precious little bimbo. I'm going home."

"Johanna, don't do this. I said I was sorry. I didn't want to give her the brush off when she spoke to me."

"Oh of course not," Johanna said sarcastically.

Jim sighed. "I didn't want to be rude to her. I know you don't like her but that isn't an excuse for me to be ignore her when she speaks to me."

"It's always funny how you have double standards about things. If I talk to someone you don't like…like Antonio; you act like that's some sort of betrayal. But when you take me somewhere and ignore me in favor of someone I dislike, I'm just supposed to sit there and smile and be grateful that you brought me and not be offended in the slightest…because after all, I wouldn't want you to be rude to someone…I mean why bother when you're already being rude to me. Being rude to two women in one night would be crass."

"Johanna, can we just stop this?"

"Sure; you can go back to the person you really want to spend your time with and I'll be on my way…and no, I don't want you to take me home, nor do I want you to call me tomorrow…or the next day; maybe not even the one after that."

She started to walk away but he reached out and grabbed her coat, pulling her back to him. "Let go," she demanded.

"No," he said quietly. "Just listen, please?"

She remained silent but her eyes were narrowed and still snapping with fire. "I'm sorry," he stated once more. "I screwed up and I admit that. I don't want you to go…please stay here with me. I promise I'll make the rest of the night better for you. I never meant to hurt your feelings or make you feel like someone else was more deserving of my time."

Johanna said nothing and he waited, wishing he had some magic word to make the anger disappear from her features. "Please, sweetheart," he murmured; "Come back inside with me…it's cold out here…you're shivering," he remarked as he tried to pull her close in effort to keep her warm but she pushed him away.

Footsteps sounded on the pavement behind him and Jim forced himself not to reach for her again. His luck it would be a cop and she'd have him arrested for harassment out of revenge. He turned to see who was approaching them and found Jeff. Maggie was hovering back by the door and it looked like Phil was keeping Sharon inside the door…and he was sure that was probably killing her.

"Jeff; can you leave us alone?" he asked as his friend sidled up to them.

"He doesn't have to leave," Johanna remarked. "We don't need to be alone."

"I think we do."

"We don't."

Jeff gave her a small smile. "I just wanted to say that we're all leaving this lame ass party, Sassy; and we'd like for you to come with us. Just because you're date with Jim is over doesn't mean you can't come and have a good time with us."

"What, I'm not invited?" Jim asked.

"Of course you're invited…if you're feeling lucky and can take a few barbed comments from the female half of the group."

"I think I'll just go home," Johanna replied. "I'm not in a party mood anymore."

"Come on, Sassy," Jeff coaxed; "Don't let this spoil your whole night. You don't want to go home and be by yourself when you can be out with us."

Jim caught her eye. "Please, Johanna…let's go somewhere else and try to salvage the night."

"We'll go somewhere with better music so we can dance," Maggie said as she joined them on the sidewalk. "Maybe we'll have better drinks too."

"Yeah…maybe I can pick someone up," Johanna quipped tersely.

"Hey, you never know," Maggie replied; "But you aren't going to find out at home."

"You don't need to pick someone up," Jim stated. "You'll be with me."

"No; I won't," she responded. "As far as I'm concerned, our evening is over."

"Can't you give me another chance?"

Jeff sighed as he watched his friends. "Look, Sassy; we'll all go and if you want to give Jim another chance to make it up to you for his stupidity, you can; if not; feel free to ignore him but make up your mind before we all freeze to death."

Johanna's gaze narrowed at him. "I didn't tell you to come out here."

Maggie whacked him with her evening bag. "Jackass," she muttered. "Come on, Jo; don't let them do this to you. Let's just go hit a club; the men will probably stick to a table, and we can stick to the dance floor."

It seemed like she didn't have much choice, if she refused to go, she'd look petty and if she went she was probably sure to be miserable unless she had enough drinks to make her forget about the disastrous evening so far.

"Please," Jim added as he reached for her hand.

"Fine," she spat somewhat bitterly as she pulled her hand away from his. "I'll go…even if it is against my better judgment."

"You won't regret it," Jim whispered to her, taking her hand once again, refusing to be brushed off. "We'll have a better time elsewhere, I promise."

"Yeah, sure," she scoffed; allowing him to tug her along with him, figuring there was no sense in pulling away when he'd just reach out and take her hand again regardless of if she wanted him to or not.

---

Jim sat at a table at the nightclub, watching Johanna and Sharon laugh as they danced to the beat of the music. Phil had gone to get another drink and Jeff and Maggie had presumably slipped off into a darker area of the club. He blew out a breath before taking a long sip of his drink. Johanna was doing a very good job at ignoring him. He figured that she was giving him a taste of his own medicine…and he had to admit that swallowing that bitter pill was effective. He was sorry that he had allowed Melanie to monopolize him so much. She had asked him something in regard to a case she was working on and somehow the conversation had turned into small talk. It hadn't meant anything to him. Melanie meant nothing to him. He could agree that she wasn't always the nicest person on earth and that she liked attention but she didn't bother him the way she bothered Johanna. Of course he didn't seem to bother Melanie the way Johanna did. He didn't know why they couldn't get along but he knew that it wasn't his fault.

The female brain was a mystery to him in some respects. He didn't know why Johanna and Melanie had hated each other at first sight or why Johanna could possibly see the woman as a rival for his affections. Phil had relayed to him the information Sharon had given him about a scuffle that had occurred between the two women in question in the ladies room but he had a feeling that Sharon hadn't given Phil all of the details…probably because she knew Phil would tell him…and knowing Sharon, she'd want to make his life difficult out of loyalty to Johanna. Jim sighed; he had a feeling that whatever went down in the ladies room was responsible for the largest portion of Johanna's anger. Melanie had stuck her hand into the hornet's nest of her temper and now she was going to take it out on him all because he talked to the woman for a little while. Well that was alright, he supposed; surely she'd soon tire of it and she'd cool off and come around…hopefully by the time midnight rolled around.

Maybe dancing was burning off her anger; maybe that was why she was staying out on the dance floor and away from him as much as possible. He had to keep his feet plastered to the floor every time he accepted an invitation to dance from another man. He didn't mind when it was Jeff…but she didn't have to look like she was enjoying dancing with strangers so much, did she? A shift in the crush of people on the dance floor caused him to lose sight of her for several minutes. His gaze scanned the room, his eyes squinting as he studied the more shadowy areas of the room but he finally found her…with a man…heading for the bar.

Jim was on his feet in an instant and he began to move in her direction. Dancing was one thing, drinks were another. Surely she hadn't been serious about trying to pick someone up at the club, right? That had just been her annoyance talking. She wouldn't do that…would she? He fought back a surge of temper as he carefully picked his way through the throng. Johanna was leaning against the bar, giving her companion a flirty look as they spoke. She reached out and brushed the man's arm, making him smile and lean closer. It rankled him but he forced himself to stay calm. The guy looked harmless enough but he didn't want him getting any ideas.

He slipped quietly into place at Johanna's side, his arm sliding around her waist as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "There you are, sweetheart. I thought I had lost you."

Her eyes flashed with fire as she pushed him away. "What are you doing?"

"Who's he?" her companion asked.

"No one," she answered; "Just ignore him."

"Now, honey; I know you're mad at me but saying I'm no one is a little much, don't you think?"

The man she had been talking to began to back away as he sized up the situation. "Hey man, I didn't know she was your girl. I don't want any trouble."

"That's alright," Jim told him. "I understand."

"I'm not his girl!" Johanna remarked. "I'm free to do as I please."

The man backed away a little more and shook his head. "I don't like getting involved in these sorts of things. You're a pretty girl and you seem nice but it isn't worth it. It was nice talking to you."

As he scurried away, Johanna bit back a growl of frustration and turned toward Jim. "What the hell did you do that for? He was going to buy me a drink!"

"I'll buy you another drink," he offered.

"Maybe I wanted him to buy it."

Jim shook his head. "You shouldn't be taking drinks from strangers. You don't know anything about him."

"We were going to get to know each other while we had our drinks."

"He's not your type."

Johanna scoffed. "What do you know about my type? Maybe I want a new type. He seemed like a nice man. I liked him."

He sighed and turned to the bartender and ordered her another margarita while she continued to study him with an angry glare. Maybe he was going to have to go about this another way, he thought to himself as he placed her fresh drink in her hands and gave her a small smile. "Go find him then if you really want to."

"Like he's really going to have anything to do with me now," she retorted.

"Tell him whatever you want about me, maybe he'll overlook it. Tell him it was a joke that went wrong if you want…or maybe you can find someone else that you'll like. If you think hooking up with someone and leaving with them is going to hurt me, you're right, it will…but I think it's going to hurt you more. You're not the kind of person who goes home with someone for the sake of getting even…but I guess if you want to give it a try, that's your right. I'm not going to keep tabs on you or police you…but I hope you'll be careful and that you'll at least call tomorrow for long enough to tell me that you're home safely and then you can feel free to slam the phone down in my ear, okay? I hope it'll make you feel better."

Angry tears glimmered in her eyes as she shook her head. "You just don't get it, do you?"

Jim nodded. "I get it; you're mad at me…but I told you that I'm sorry and I wanted to make it up to you but you're not letting me. You want to be mad and stubborn. You're blowing it all out of proportion and I think you know that…but you want to be like this. I don't know exactly what went down between you and Melanie before you went storming out tonight but I know it isn't my fault and you shouldn't be taking your anger at her out on me. I didn't do it, Johanna."

She scoffed softly. "If you only knew."

"If there's something I need to know then tell me and let's get this settled."

"You don't care," Johanna remarked after taking a long sip of her drink. "You just don't care at all about how I feel tonight…just like you don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me either."

He gently caught hold of her chin and turned her face toward his. "You know that isn't true."

"Which part?"

"You know which parts."

"I wanted this to be a nice evening," Johanna remarked quietly, making him strain to hear her through the din of noise.

"It can be a nice evening if you'll just let this go."

"Maybe I would if I thought you were actually sorry."

"I told you I was," he practically yelled. "What more do you want from me, Johanna? Do you want me to beg?"

"No."

"Then what do you want?"

She turned her face away from him. "You," she thought to herself, not daring to let the word slip from her lips. She felt so angry inside and yet she just wanted him and the night she had dreamed of but those hopes were dashed now.

"Jo?"

"I don't know," she murmured.

He nodded. "Well sweetheart, when you figure out what it is, let me know. If you think you can find it with someone else, then I guess that's your business and you're free to go look…and if knowing that I hate the thought of it makes it even better for you, well…I do hate it and I wish you'd just settle down and relax so that we can enjoy ourselves. You don't have to be so stubborn all the time, you know."

He just kept pushing her buttons she thought to herself. "You ought to practice what you preach, Jim. Seems to me that you spend plenty of time being stubborn!"

Jim turned to the bartender and ordered himself another drink and then turned back to Johanna after receiving it. "Go have fun, Jo; you know where to find me if you want me."

"You're leaving?"

"No, I'm not leaving; but I'm not going to stand here and keep talking in circles when you insist on being a brick wall and I'm not going to babysit you and keep you from drinking with strangers if that's what you want…but you're still my girl."

With that said, he turned and walked away, leaving her alone with her drink. Didn't he understand that she didn't want to be mad, that if she could turn it off and forget about it that she would? She couldn't though…and there was a part of her that felt like she had left him off the hook easily the last time he had hurt her feelings and she didn't want him making a habit of thinking that he was always going to get away with it. Maybe she should go home…alone…and lay in bed and watch the ball drop on TV. It had to be better than this…but she'd be lonely and her thoughts would torment her. Home wasn't the right place. She needed to be here. She needed more drinks and more dancing. She also needed a time machine so she could go back and start the night over. She released a weighted breath; she always wanted something she couldn't have.

---

The announcement that the New Year was only a few minutes away sent an extra tingle of excitement through the crowd and people shuffled around, making their way back to friends or dates, or staking out a spot by someone they hoped to get to know.

"Let's go back to the guys," Maggie said to Johanna and Sharon, as the song they had been dancing to ended.

Johanna hesitated for only a second before following them. She was still mad at Jim, but she had enough of a buzz from the champagne she had been sipping earlier and the margaritas she had been downing ever since she had entered the club, to make her willing to put aside her anger for a few minutes.

Jim held his breath as he watched Johanna cross the room. He hadn't been sure that she'd return to his side for the countdown but she kept coming towards him and relief filled him. She said nothing as she slipped into the spot next to him and he remained silent also as glasses of champagne were pressed into their hands.

Finally he caught her eye. "You looked good out there," he told her. He had been somewhat mesmerized as he had watched her dance with her friends. "I didn't know you could dance like that."

"I can do a lot of things," Johanna commented. "I could probably surprise you, if you ever gave me the chance."

He studied her for a moment, wondering if that was really her talking or the alcohol because that statement could be taken a certain way. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She gave a slightly seductive smirk and shrugged as she took a long sip of her champagne. "I guess it's up to you to figure out what it means."

He took a drink and set his glass aside as the club prepared to count down to the New Year. He took hers from her hand as well, placing it next to his.

"What did you do that for?" she asked, reaching to take it back.

Jim caught her hand as the countdown began. "There's a saying that whatever you're doing at midnight is what you'll be doing for the next year."

"And?"

"And I don't intend to be fighting with you for the next year, Jo," he replied; tugging on her hand and pulling her against him.

"What do you intend to be doing then?" Johanna asked.

"This," he stated; capturing her lips in a searing kiss as the crowd reached one and then shouted 'Happy New Year'.

Her arms wrapped around him without hesitation and she returned his kiss with as much passion as he was bestowing upon her. At least Melanie hadn't been the one he kissed at midnight, she thought as they broke apart for air, and the glee of that sentiment was enough to make her pull him back for another long, passionate kiss.

Maybe she wasn't so mad after all, Jim thought to himself as he continued to hold her close and shower her with kisses that she seemed to be welcoming. Maybe he had said and done the right thing to quell her annoyance with him. If so, then standing there kissing her all night was the perfect way to bring in the New Year.

"Hey," Jeff said; smacking his arm and pulling them out of their private little paradise they had created. "Why don't you two go get a room, you're steaming up the glasses."

"Mind your business," Jim told him as he turned his attention back to Johanna who had slipped out of his arms. He was hoping they could pick up from where they left off but she had retrieved her champagne glass and downed the contents. He moved to pull her back to him but she sidestepped and took his hand.

"Dance with me," she said, tugging at him to follow her to the dance floor.

He went willingly as a slow song came on and he pulled her into his arms, taking a moment to study her face. She was tipsy, he thought to himself, but maybe that was a good thing. It would cool her off and maybe they'd have a better time now, especially since they had eased some of the tension with their kisses.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"You," he replied.

"Why?"

"Because I always think of you."

Johanna frowned. "I'm not so sure I believe that."

"Why not?"

"Because you weren't thinking of me earlier."

He pulled her a little closer and brushed a kiss against her cheek. "Can't we forget all about earlier? All that should matter is that we're here together."

His nearness and the alcohol seemed to make her brain fuzzy and she gravitated towards his warmth as they moved to the music. "That's my girl," he murmured as he adjusted his hold on her.

"Am I your girl?"

"You know you are, sweetheart."

A tepid amount of defiance was struggling to hold out against the tequila and champagne. "I'm still mad at you," Johanna stated, her words lacking bite and carrying a hint of a slur.

"I know," Jim replied; feeling like he was wearing her down. "But that doesn't mean we can't have a good time, does it?"

"I guess it doesn't have to…if you really want to have a good time with me."

"Of course I do; that's all I wanted tonight was to have a good time with you…I told you I was sorry for what happened."

"I just wanted to dance with you all night," she remarked; ignoring his statement to some extent; "But you left me…and you made me mad."

"But I'm here now; and as long as the music is slow, I'll dance with you as much as you want."

"Why don't you like the fast ones?"

"Because I don't want to look stupid."

She gave him a smile, her eyes sparkling with drunken amusement. "It isn't like you looked too smart with Melanie."

Jim laughed. "I guess I deserved that."

"You deserve a lot of that."

He nodded. "But we can call a truce, right? In name of the holiday?"

"Okay, but only if you're going to be nice."

"I promise…but you have to promise not to run off with other men."

She giggled. "I'll try not to."

"Try real hard."

"Alright, but if you leave me anymore tonight, I'm going to punch you…like I should've punched Melanie but Sharon wouldn't let me..."

Jim tipped her face up to look at him, hoping that despite her tipsy state that she'd see the seriousness in his gaze. "I won't leave you again, Jo…I promise; and I don't know what happened with you and Melanie but whatever it is, I'm sorry for it. Let's just forget her and enjoy ourselves okay?"

"Okay," she replied as she snuggled against him.

He breathed a small sigh of relief; maybe he could turn this night around and things would be blown over by morning.

---

A few hours later, the bartender announced 'last call' and people began to stumble out of the club. Sharon and Phil were one of the few remaining couples on the dance floor and they each scanned the room in search of their friends.

"Jeff and Maggie could have told us that they were leaving," Sharon remarked.

"I guess they had other things on their minds. At least Jim and Johanna have made up," Phil said, nodding to the table where their friends were engaged in a series of heated kisses.

Sharon shook her head. "Oh I have a feeling it isn't over just yet."

"Looks over to me."

"She's drunk," the secretary remarked. "A drunk Jo is a happy Jo…in most cases. Once in awhile it makes her weepy Jo but apparently this isn't one of those times…or Jim hit the right button during her state of tipsiness."

"Jim's not too far behind her in the drunk department," her date replied.

"That's probably his guilt."

"Well whatever it is, the more they've drank and danced, the friendlier they've gotten. I saw where his hands have been."

"So have I," Sharon stated; "Which just goes to prove how drunk Jo is; she'd never let us witness them acting like that if she was sober. That will get in the way of their denial that they're just friends…not that she denies it to me anymore, but in regard to the general public."

Phil scoffed. "Like anyone believes them anyway."

"True."

"I do think Jo's making a bigger deal out of this than it's worth."

"Of course you do; you're on Jim's side."

"It's not that; it's just that it's not like she caught him in bed with Melanie…although even if she did she doesn't have any right to say anything about it. Jim isn't her husband, fiancé or boyfriend."

"That doesn't make her love him any less, Phil."

"Love doesn't have anything to do with it. She has no right to tell him what he can or can't do; she has to remember her place, and right now she's his friend, despite the kissing and wandering hands."

Sharon's eyes narrowed at him. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't use terms like 'know her place'. That sounds sexist and I'll thank you to remember that it's my best friend you're talking about."

He sighed and seemed to count to ten before speaking again. "Listen, I like Jo but if she wants to get anywhere with him then she needs to do something about it…and you don't always have to be her protector. Maybe if everyone made her stand on her own two feet, she'd get a backbone and do what she needs to do."

"Johanna has always stood on her own two feet; and while I agree that she needs to make a move, I wouldn't say that she lacks backbone. She's cautious, that's her nature. She's been hurt before and you don't know anything about it…but you are coming close to knowing what it's like to go home alone."

"Simmer down; I didn't mean to step on your toes," he replied. "I'm just saying that she has room for improvement."

"We all have room for improvement," Sharon retorted; "And I plan to talk to her tomorrow about a few things…but that's different. I'm her best friend, I know her secrets and you don't so you don't get to judge her like that."

"Okay, I'm done discussing that. Let's change the subject because their fight shouldn't become ours, okay?"

Sharon blew out a breath. "Let's just go home. I'm tired."

Phil nodded. "Good idea…shall we tell the enamored duo or just slip out like Jeff and Maggie did?"

"I think we should tell them…if nothing else for the pure of sake of encouraging them to leave as well before they get too carried away over there."

Sharon studied her friend as they approached the table, watching as Johanna giggled at something Jim said before he kissed her neck. "Hey," she said, tapping Johanna's arm once they reached them.

"What?" her friend asked.

"We're leaving…I think it's time you were going home too. You've had more than enough drinks…and everything else."

Johanna laughed. "It's a party, we're supposed to have lots of drinks."

"You'll be lucky to remember the party with the amount of drinks you've had."

"Leave her alone," Jim remarked. "We're just having a good time."

Sharon eyed him; he wasn't as bad off as Johanna was. "Take the good time somewhere else because this place is going to be closing. Jo, are you going with Jim are you coming with us?"

"I'll take her home," Jim spoke up as he got to his feet.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "We'll be fine, won't we Jo?"

"Yes," she replied as he helped her to her feet.

"Alright, we'll see you later. Be careful…and don't do anything you'll regret."

Johanna laughed. "Like what?"

"You let me know tomorrow and I'll tell you."

"What?" her confused friend asked.

Sharon shook her head. "It's nothing, Jo; I'll explain it when you're sober. You go home now."

"I'm going," she said as picked up her coat and struggled into it; Jim laughing as he attempted to help her.

"Should we really let them fend for themselves?" Sharon asked Phil.

He nodded. "I think Jim can handle it but I'll get them a cab so we can be sure they're on their way."

Phil went off to hail a cab for them and Sharon stayed behind to make sure that her friends didn't return to what they had been doing. Jim was managing to button up Johanna's coat for her so she figured that Phil was right and that Jim wasn't drunk to the point where he couldn't get them home without a chaperone. "Come on you two, Phil's getting a cab for you."

Jim slid his arm around Johanna's waist. "They're anxious to get rid of us, sweetheart."

"Why?"

"I don't know; she's your best friend, you ask her."

"Why do you want to get rid of us, Sharon?"

"Because you're getting a little carried away in public and you need to go home and sleep it off."

Johanna laughed. "She sounds like my mother."

"Your mother would want you to go home too," Sharon said as she steered them toward the exit. By the time they reached Phil's side, a cab was pulling up to the curb and they watched as Jim and Johanna stumbled into it.

"Well," Phil said as they watched it drive away; "What do you think is going to happen?"

She sighed. "Well they'll either pick up what they were doing in the club and sleep together or they'll pass out as soon as they get into the apartment…I think for the sake of sanity, we'll hope they pass out and don't add to the stupidity of the night."

"Amen," Phil replied as he took her arm and led her to the parking lot where his car was waiting.

---

Johanna's head was throbbing when she woke up the next morning and her stomach felt even worse. She forced her tired eyes open and when the haze cleared, she realized that she wasn't in her own bed. The realization startled her and she frantically tried to recall the end of the evening. She couldn't remember leaving the club. Cautiously, she began to lift her head from the pillow but a wave of dizziness washed over her, making her groan softly.

"Do yourself a favor and stay down, sweetheart," Jim's voice said from beside her as his hand fell softly against her head and gently pushed it back down onto the pillow.

Relief swam through her at the sound of his voice and the familiar smell of him that she was now taking notice of. Her eyes fluttered tiredly. It was alright, she was with Jim. She could go back to sleep for awhile now that she knew where she was and that she was safe. That thought, however, was short lived as flashes of memory from the night before filled her brain and reminded her of what he had done. Anger slammed into her and her eyes flew open, suddenly fully awake.

Slowly she sat up, taking a few deep breaths to help stave of the nausea and the dizziness.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked; his hand brushing against her back.

Satisfied that she wasn't going to be sick at the moment, she turned to face him. "What the hell am I doing here?" Johanna asked tartly.

His brow rose slightly at her tone. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what I said," she retorted. "Why am I here?"

"You're here because this is where I told the cab driver to take us," he told her. "You've stayed here before. It's not a big deal."

"I would've preferred to go home."

"You didn't seem bothered by the decision," Jim declared. "It was late, we had been drinking and I didn't give it much thought."

Something across the room caught her eye and she turned her head to see what it was. A shaft of sunlight peeking through the window had settled upon the sequins of her dress, causing them to sparkle as it laid across the back of a chair. She quickly looked down at herself, a move her head didn't appreciate too much and found herself to be clad in his navy blue button down shirt. Oh God, she thought. They hadn't done that, had they?

"What did we do?" she asked; her tone panicked.

"We got drunk," he answered; scrubbing a hand over his face.

Johanna smacked his leg. "Besides that!" she exclaimed; regretting the rise in her tone. He winced as well which eased her own pain a bit. "What's my dress doing over there instead of on my body?"

"You didn't want to sleep in your dress so I gave you a shirt."

She eyed him with suspicion and he knew what she was thinking. "I swear I didn't undress you," Jim stated.

"Uh huh."

"I'm telling the truth," he declared. "I swear I didn't touch you."

Her expression hardened. "You don't have to say it like I have the plague."

He sighed. "You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Right. I'm sure you would've said it differently if I was Melanie…but then again, if I was Melanie, there'd be no need to say it all."

"Jo, you dressed yourself in the bathroom with the door closed. Even when you're drunk you have your modesty."

"I bet that killed you," she said sarcastically.

Actually, at the time, he hadn't given it much thought. He had drank a good bit but he had still had enough of his wits about him when they got home. He would've never attempted to undress her, even if she had come on to him. It wasn't that he wouldn't like to undress her…he would, and he'd admit to himself that when he had gotten up earlier that morning and then came back to bed that he had seen that the shirt she was wearing had ridden up and he'd caught a good look at her black lace panties. He couldn't say that he hadn't found them appealing, he had, but he hadn't acted on the thoughts that had filled his mind. He was a gentleman, and more than that, he was the man who adored and respected her and he would never take advantage of her like that. He had merely reached out and tugged the shirt back down over her and forced his thoughts in a different direction as he covered her up with the blankets.

"What's wrong, Johanna?" he asked; allowing her last comment to go unanswered.

"Seriously?" she asked in disbelief.

"Are you still mad about last night?" he asked; a hint of disdain in his voice at the thought of rehashing that.

"Of course I am! Don't you think I have a right to be?"

"I thought you were over it. Things seemed to go alright once we were at the club for awhile."

"Yeah, I guess so," Johanna remarked. "I got drunk. I have this terrible habit of being amicable when I'm drunk."

"I don't think that's such a bad thing," Jim said as he forced himself to sit up. "I think I preferred you being an amicable drunk instead of hung over and holding a grudge."

"Holding a grudge?" she laughed bitterly. "You asked me to go with you and then spend all of your time with someone else and I'm not supposed to be angry about it?"

"I told you that it didn't mean anything. I just didn't want to seem like I was being rude to her by snubbing her."

"But you didn't care that you were being rude to me," she retorted.

A small surge of aggravation flooded his veins. "Johanna, you're being ridiculous. I think you just want to pick a fight. Why don't you just lay down and go back to sleep for a little while? Maybe it'll make you feel better."

Her eyes snapped with fire and she threw back the covers and got out of bed, swaying slightly on her feet for a moment before moving across the room and grabbing her dress.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm going home," she announced.

"Jo, come on, don't be like that. Come back to bed and get some rest. You don't want to go out right now with the way you're feeling. Wait until later and then I'll drive you home," Jim told her as he came to stand beside her.

"I don't want you to drive me," she said sharply; brushing past him and storming off to the bathroom.

"Johanna," he called after her but she ignored him and slammed the bathroom door, making his head throb even more. He paced the floor, waiting for her and when she emerged, once again clad in her party dress, her angry gaze fell upon him. She threw his balled up shirt at him and marched away.

"Where are my shoes?" she demanded to know.

"Jo, can't we please..."

"Where are my shoes?" she demanded once again; cutting off his sentence.

"Under the coffee table," Jim said; gesturing in their direction.

Johanna went after them, feeling sick as she bent to retrieve them but she pushed it down and shoved her feet into her heels before searching for her purse and coat.

"It's not like we're married and I was cheating on you," Jim stated.

The remark stung her even though it was true that she had no claim on him...but it had felt like he was cheating on her and right in front of her face. It had hurt, it still hurt in the cold light of day and it made her angry that he had been so callous with her feelings when he claimed to care so much for her.

"I know I don't have any claim on you," she said through clenched teeth as she snatched her purse off the stand. "But when someone asks me to go somewhere with them; I expect that they'll be spending their time with me."

"I didn't realize that going somewhere with you meant that I couldn't associate with other people," he said tersely.

"I didn't say that!"

"It sounded like it," Jim retorted. "If someone takes you somewhere then they're supposed to give you their complete undivided attention. No one else is supposed to exist."

He was saying that she was selfish and needy, Johanna thought. He was twisting her words and feelings around and making her out to be all the things her father always accused her of being. It served to increase her ire as she jerked open the closet door and found her coat.

"If you want Melanie, then go have at her," she seethed. "I'm sure she'll be more than accommodating. Just don't invite me along to watch. You made me look like a fool, Jim. Everyone knew that we were there together and yet there I was on one side of the room while you're on the other side with your bimbo the whole time, all in the name of politeness of course," she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "And I get to sit there and watch it all while looking and feeling stupid. In case you didn't know, Jim, I don't appreciate being made to look stupid."

"Don't act like you sat in the corner by yourself," he retorted. "I saw you talking and dancing with other people."

"What choice did I have?" she yelled; regretting it as her head pounded. "I danced with two people and I talked to the people I always talk to. It wasn't like I was the belle of the ball. And I guess you probably didn't notice those snide little looks that Melanie kept throwing at me, did you?"

"No, I didn't see her doing anything like that; but let's be honest, you always think she's giving you snide looks."

"She does!" Johanna yelled; "And I'm not surprised that you didn't notice. You were too busy lapping up whatever spiel she had for you to stroke your ego. You're just like all the rest of them. You all think she's something spectacular and she's not. She's just a user. She only wants you to see what she can get out of you, and if she can get a dig in at me or any other woman that she deems beneath her, then it makes it all the more fun for her. Worst of all, you're all too dumb to realize it, especially you and it makes me sick."

She was beautiful when she was angry, Jim couldn't help but think. Her green eyes snapped and sparkled with fire; her jaw set firmly and her lips pressed into an angry line. Even the way she moved spoke volumes of the rage and passion that flowed inside of her. It sounded an awful lot like she was jealous and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the thought of that. A hint of a smile touched his lips as she roughly pulled on her coat. Maybe she just needed some affection, some proof that she was still important to him and that Melanie meant nothing. Maybe she just needed to be kissed, he thought. A kiss would distract her and cool her anger now that she had sobered up and apparently didn't recall their truce. Yes, he thought, that was what she needed. That fire needed redirected and when it was spent, then maybe he could convince her to change back into the shirt and come back to bed where he could hold her and they could put this whole ugly mess behind them while they nursed their hangovers. Waking up with her warm and limp in his arms had been the only thing that had made the morning bearable and he wanted to get back to that feeling.

Jim caught hold of her as she moved to pass him and head for the door. "Don't go," he said; gently his tone.

"Call Melanie if you get lonely. I'm sure you have the number," she said hotly as she tried to pull her arm away.

He tightened his grip and pulled her against him; capturing her lips before she could say another word. She fought it at first but he was relentless in his onslaught and despite her efforts, she gave in to him, returning his kiss with equal passion...at least until her brain managed to remind her that she was angry with him...and now she was angry with herself for kissing him back. He had let go of her arm and had enfolded her in his embrace when the fight went out of her. His guard was lowered and she took the opportunity to shove him away angrily before slapping him across the face.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked; suddenly feeling like he was in some old Clark Gable movie as he rubbed his face.

"Don't kiss me when I'm mad at you!" Johanna yelled.

"Why not?" he asked; "Seems to me that's when you need it most."

"Well that just goes to show how wrong you are."

"You didn't mind me kissing you all last night. In fact, you seemed to be enjoying it."

"That falls under the amicable drunk category," Johanna retorted as she squeezed her forehead.

"Listen," he said; moving cautiously towards her. "Take your coat off and let me get you something for your headache. You can go lay down for awhile, I'll let you be and when you're feeling better, we'll talk about this and put it behind us. Then, if you still want to go home, I'll drive you," he told her; his hands slipping around her waist.

"Don't touch me," she said; her tone low and firm as she jerked away from him. "I don't need you to treat me like I'm some child that needs to be coddled. I don't need you to drive me home. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself. I don't need you to do anything for me."

She could be so damn frustrating, he thought. His patience was being tried and he was growing angry at her refusal to be reasonable. "Are you through?" he asked.

"I'm through all right," she replied; tears glimmering in her eyes that she stubbornly refused to let fall. "Don't you ever ask me to go anywhere with you again because the answer is no."

Jim nodded; a surge of anger flooding his veins as his heart constricted at her words and the thought that their friendship as he knew it was over and for such a stupid reason. "Fine, Johanna, I won't. Going somewhere with you isn't worth the aggravation." He saw the hurt in her eyes deepen and he instantly regretted the words he had spoken.

"Lucky for you, you won't have to worry about me aggravating you anymore," Johanna replied as she opened the door.

"I didn't mean it, Johanna."

"You don't mean anything, do you, Jim?" she asked before slamming the door shut as she left.

The silence that filled his ears should've been welcome but it wasn't. He shoved a hand through his hair. It looked like he had blown it. What a way to start off the New Year.

---

Late in the afternoon, Johanna was still in her nightgown as she laid on her couch and channel surfed. Her headache was down to a dull roar but a knock at her door sent a throb through her head. She suppressed a groan and debated about whether to answer it or not. Surely Jim wouldn't be foolish enough to come knocking on her door, would he? A second knock sounded after a moment and she pushed herself off of the couch.

"Who is it?" she called out.

"It's me," Sharon answered.

Johanna moved to the door and allowed her friend inside.

"How are you feeling?" Sharon asked as she shrugged out of her coat and then dropped into the chair.

"Like I've been hit over the head with a block of cement," she replied as she moved back to the sofa.

"I'm not surprised; you were doing a good job of going over your drink limit last night…of course that might be because Jim kept buying them for you. I think he figured that he could soften you up faster if you were drunk…and from what I saw, he was right."

"I don't want to talk about Jim."

Sharon eyed her. "I don't know why not. You didn't seem to mind being joined at the lips with him last night once the New Year rolled in."

"I was drunk."

"I know; if you had been sober you never would've done that while we were all watching. I guess the big question is, did the two of you take advantage of each other in your drunken stupors?"

"No! At least he says nothing happened…I don't really remember leaving the club."

"So you did wake up with him this morning?"

"I wish I hadn't," Johanna stated tartly. "Why did you let me leave with him? You know I wasn't thinking and that I was mad at him."

"You were safe with Jim," her friend replied; "And you weren't looking too angry or in need of saving."

"We've always had a deal, Sharon."

The secretary sighed. "That deal was made in college and it was carried out. When you broke up with Cade and I dragged you to that party and you got drunk; I saved you from the clutches of his overzealous friend that was trying to drag you off despite you saying no. I think I've done my duty. You're a big girl now; I shouldn't have to babysit you at parties anymore."

Johanna's feelings were already bruised and Sharon's comment was an added sting. She gave a sharp nod of her head. "Alright, that deal has now expired and neither one of us is obligated to see that the other gets home safely."

Sharon gave her a look but allowed the comment to pass with out remark. "So what happened with Jim?"

"We had a fight."

"Again?"

Johanna's eyes snapped with fire. "Yes, again! He had the audacity to take me home with him and put me in his bed with him!"

"He was a little drunk too, Jo; and besides, he probably thought you weren't mad anymore since you allowed him to be all over you before you left."

"Well he thought wrong."

"You were giving mixed signals; you know guys can't handle that."

"Whose side are you on?

"Tell me what happened," the other woman said, ignoring the question about sides.

Johanna gave her the highlights of the argument and then waited as her friend seemed to be choosing her words.

"Taking you home with him would only be a big deal if you woke up without your clothes," Sharon finally remarked; "And since you didn't mention nudity and you were told nothing happened, then…you should give him a break on that one. He probably never gave it a thought to take you home to your place."

"Why do you keep making excuses for him? Johanna asked.

"Because in all honesty, this whole thing is kind of stupid. Yes, he was wrong to bring you and then ignore you. I get that and I'm with you on it. He was stupid…but then you allowed his stupidity to make you stupid and I hate when you do that, Jo. What the hell were you thinking letting Melanie goad you like that? You completely lost control and that's what she wanted. It's going to be all over the office when we go back to work and she's going to twist it to look like you're the one who launched the attack because you were mad that she stole your date. She's going to make you look like a fool. You were ready to fight her over a man who hasn't made a commitment to either one of you. You have to quit losing your cool like that, Johanna. You're already on Roche's radar because of that outburst in November; you don't need stuff like this getting around."

Johanna's jaw was tight with tension as she regarded her friend; "Are you through?"

"No; and I don't enjoy telling you these things…but sometimes you have to stop thinking with your heart so much and use your head. I know you love him but you have to hold on to your temper a little more, especially when some bitch is just trying to get under your skin."

"I'm sorry that I don't have your calm, cool composure…but at least I've never slashed anyone's tires."

"That was totally different!" Sharon exclaimed.

"Scott would probably beg to differ."

"Scott can kiss my ass and you were right there with me…in fact I'm pretty sure you're the one who gave me the pocket knife."

"Yeah, I was there backing you up and there was a time when you would've been behind me, backing me up; but you weren't behind me last night!"

"I didn't feel like going to jail."

"No one said anything about jail," Johanna retorted. "I would've made sure she hit me first so it would've been self defense. I'm not that stupid!"

"Look, I admit that slashing Scott's tires might not have been the best thing to do…but we're supposed to be better than that now."

"It was one argument, Sharon. You act like I'm out picking fights every night. Since when are you so holier than thou?"

"This isn't about me; it's about you. Last night was a disaster, everyone freely admits that but it doesn't have to be dragged out and made into a bigger mess, Jo."

Johanna scoffed; "I love how everyone else is allowed to get angry or be stupid or petty and that's okay but when I get angry about something, I'm just supposed to let it go and be good ole doormat Johanna, free for everyone to walk on, because hey, she doesn't mind."

"It's not like that and you know it. I don't like being tough on you but damn it, Jo; some of it you brought on yourself. Instead of sitting there watching him hang on Melanie's every word last night, you should've got your ass up out of that chair and went and reminded him who he was with, but no; you just let it happen."

"I don't beg," she stated tersely.

"Why is it begging?" Sharon exclaimed, making her friend wince at the raised tone of her voice.

"He knew he was with me! Why should I have to remind him?"

"Because it shows him that you won't be brushed aside."

Johanna blew out a breath, she wasn't in the mood to hear anymore of this and she got to her feet and moved in the direction of her bedroom, hoping Sharon would take the hint and leave.

"Where you going?"

"To change clothes," she answered; "I suddenly feel like joining my mother for dinner."

"It's not nice to walk out on your guest…I bet she taught you better than that," Sharon said as she followed behind her.

"Well you can just add that to my list of offenses this week, you seem to be keeping a tally."

"I came here fully prepared to face you bitchiness, so if you think you're scaring me, you're sadly mistaken."

"I guess we're just going to have to get you a merit badge, Sharon," Johanna said sarcastically as she surveyed the contents of her closet.

"You know what the real problem is?" her secretary asked.

"No, but I'm sure you're going to enlighten me…whether I care to hear it or not."

"We'll get you a merit badge too," Sharon said with a grin which Johanna scowled at as she jerked a royal blue sweater from the closet. "But the problem is, this little game you and Jim are playing is getting out of hand. You want more and you won't make it happen because you're stuck on that little 'things are fine for now' deal you made with him. Things aren't fine, Johanna. You want him and he wants you and one of you has to make the first move in the right direction and it might as well be you."

"Weren't you leaving?" Johanna asked as she tossed her sweater on the bed and moved to the dresser and took out her favorite pair of black jeans.

"No, not yet; and I don't believe for a minute that you're going to your mother's. You're going to change and go take a cab ride around the city, stop for a doughnut or something and then come back just to get me out of your hair."

"No; I really am going to my mother's; being lectured always makes me crave her presence. You have the right hair color to remind me of her but your eye color is all wrong and you don't pitch your voice right to wield guilt into the lecture, but you can work on it."

"I love when you're sarcastic; it brings special sunshine into the world," Sharon quipped. "You know what I'm saying is true, that's why you want me to leave."

"I can run my own life. Just because you have Phil doesn't make you an expert on relationships."

Sharon was quiet for a long moment as Johanna pulled on her jeans. "Sometimes I think you might be a little jealous," she finally said, her tone carrying a note of gentleness.

"Of what?" she exclaimed.

"That I have Phil…and he takes up a lot of my time and Maggie has Jeff and he takes up a lot of her time…and you don't have Jim the way you'd like and maybe you feel a little left out sometimes."

Tears sprung to her eyes. "I can't believe you just said that to me. I expect that crap from my sister but not you…you went too far, Sharon; way too far."

"Did I?" she asked; "Because I think maybe it's true."

"And I think it's time for you to get the hell out of my apartment."

"Jo; I'm not trying to hurt you."

Johanna turned her back to her long enough to exchange her nightgown for her sweater and then she marched through her bedroom, heading down the short hallway to the living room and going to the door. She opened it as Sharon appeared in her vision. "Get out."

She shouldn't have broached this conversation today, Sharon thought to herself. She had been too hasty and now she had only pushed Johanna's buttons further instead of nudging her along like she had wanted. "I'm sorry, Johanna."

"Yeah, everyone always is. I'll see you at work."

Sharon nodded. "I guess I can anticipate that the door will be closed and that you'll be cracking the whip to remind me whose boss, right?"

She shook her head. "No…that would stem from thinking with my heart instead of my head and I'm turning over a new leaf in that department."

"Oh boy," Sharon said as she pulled on her coat. "I should've never used that phrase."

"You should've stayed home."

"That too."

"Have a nice day, Sharon; I hope you and Phil have a nice evening together or whatever else you have planned and there's absolutely no jealousy in that wish for you."

"I hope you're not going to be mad at me for too long, Jo. I hate when you ignore me."

"I'll let you know," Johanna replied and as her friend stepped across the threshold, she shut the door, not giving Sharon the chance to say another word. It was looking like this year was shaping up to be as bad as the last.

---

That night, Naomi approached the bedroom that used to belong to her daughters…and on occasion it still housed one when she was troubled and had nowhere else to go. Her eldest girl was in turmoil, she thought to herself as she quietly pushed open the door and entered the room. Johanna was sitting on her old bed, staring out the window in contemplation. Naomi smiled; so many times in the past she had found her daughter in that exact same spot, her eyes trained on the moon. She smiled wistfully, missing the days when her children used to occupy the house on a daily basis.

"Here's something for you to sleep in," she told Johanna as she laid one of her nightgowns on the foot of the bed.

"Thanks, Mama."

Naomi sat down on the bed, waiting for her daughter to turn her face away from the window. "You don't have to work tomorrow?"

"No; the senior partners didn't see any reason to open up business for one day. We're having a long weekend."

Her mother nodded. "Your father felt the same way. He said that if he opened the company on a Friday after a holiday, chances were that everyone would call in sick."

"That's probably true."

"I'm glad you changed your mind about coming over today…even if it was obvious that you weren't feeling your best."

"Dinner helped…so did that spiked soda you gave me," Johanna replied.

Naomi gave her a wry smile. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I'd never spike a drink."

"If that's the story you want to stick to."

"It is…but I'm glad it helped."

Johanna gave her a hint of a smile. "I know; hangovers aren't lady like."

"I didn't say that. Ladies are entitled to go out and have a good time once in awhile."

Her features clouded and she dropped her gaze. "Yeah, well, I didn't exactly have a good time."

"I had a feeling that you didn't," her mother admitted. "What happened, Bambina?"

"Everything went wrong," she confessed softly.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Johanna turned toward her mother and laid her burdens in her lap; telling her almost everything that had happened. Her emotions caught up with her and her tears finally broke free and spilled down her cheeks.

Naomi pulled her into her arms and ran a soothing hand over her hair and back. "I'm so sorry, darling."

"Everyone acts like I don't have a right to be mad," she cried. "I don't know why I feel so angry but I do and I can't help it."

"Of course you can't…you love him."

Silence hung between them as Naomi waited on a denial but none came and she continued on, not pressing for her child to speak the words aloud when the answer was so clearly in her eyes. "You have every right to be angry and no one has the right to tell you how to feel nor do you have to justify the feeling to anyone. He hurt your feelings and you're reacting to that. He was foolish to pay so much attention to a woman who wasn't his date and he was overly presumptuous in assuming that alcohol would permanently erase those feelings of hurt and anger."

"I feel like he wasn't taking my feelings seriously last night or this morning. To me, he doesn't really see anything wrong with what he did and he's only apologizing because that's what I want to hear…and that's not the kind of apology that I want. He thinks you can just brush it away like a fly…it's not always that easy."

"No it isn't; especially when you come from a long line of passionate women. The Calabrese women…or perhaps I should say the Benenati-Calabrese women fight and love with the same amount of passion…there's no middle ground and when someone hurts us, we want them to pay. It's our heritage and it's our way of life."

"It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

"Mhmm; we take matters of the heart very seriously...and then there's your father's side of your temper and baby, that's a whole other box of dynamite flowing through your veins."

"I don't think it's such a bad thing…is it?"

"No; it just makes you a little fiery but I've heard that men like that."

Johanna scoffed. "I don't know about that."

"Give him a few days to learn the error of his ways and he'll come around with the correct apology; you just wait and see."

"Sharon seems to think that I should just give in."

"What does Sharon have to do with this?"

Johanna explained the conversation with Sharon and her mother frowned slightly. "You can't just let a man think he can get away with these things all the time, no matter the status of your relationship," Naomi stated. "I wouldn't have walked up to him either while he was talking to her; he knows who he brought and where he was supposed to be. He knows how to end a conversation and walk away. He didn't so he deserves what he gets for it. As for that Melanie person, she got what she deserved too; she launched the attack on you, wanting to rub your nose in the fact that she had gotten Jim's attention away from you. You had every right to strike back. Just because the party was hosted by the law firm doesn't put it on par with a professional setting and you didn't start it anyway."

"I'm glad someone sees it that way," she replied as she breathed in the familiar scent of her mother's Chanel perfume, soaking up comfort of the scents and feelings of home…of the unconditional love and support of her number one ally.

"And you can just tell Miss Sharon that until she has ring on her finger and her wedding invitations in the mailbox, that she isn't any better off than any other single girl in the world because the relationship she's in right now could end at any given second. Her boyfriend could be out doing something stupid as we speak and they can breakup tomorrow."

"They broke up over the summer."

"Well then she has no room to talk. She's been with this man for awhile, why isn't she pressuring him to take their relationship to the next level. Why isn't she demanding a ring and his last name? Shouldn't she be doing something about that?"

Johanna laughed. "Where were you when I was talking to her earlier."

"I was right here, you could've called I would've told her over the phone."

"I wish I had; I wasn't really in the mood for a lecture."

"Here's something else you can tell her, if you need a lecture, your mama will give it to you and she doesn't feel like you need one at this time."

Johanna hugged her mother tightly. "I love you so much, Mama."

"I love you so much," Naomi replied as she returned her embrace. "Don't you worry; things will work out…and if you need to be mad for a few days, that's fine, you're allowed and you don't have to feel badly for it. If you decide that you want to change things before he makes a new apology, you're free to do that as well. The choice is always yours…but don't ever feel like you have to change how you feel just because a few think that you're wrong to feel that way. They're not you; it's not their feelings that were hurt. They'd probably react the same way you did if they were in your shoes and they ought to think about that…and some of them should mind their own business."

Johanna wiped at her tears and blew out a shuddering breath. "Did you ever get mad at Dad about something that other people thought wasn't a big deal?"

She nodded. "Yes; one time that comes to mind is when your sister was about six weeks old and you were two. Colleen was colicky and you weren't feeling well so you were both cranky; crying and needing me and I felt like I didn't have enough arms to go around. I'd be walking the floors with Colleen and you'd be following me, hanging on to my skirt, demanding to be picked up too. Frankie was underfoot and your father wasn't being any help. He wouldn't tend to Colleen and he wouldn't tend to you. He did however pick up Frankie and walk out the door and stayed down at your grandfather's for several hours while I was home alone with two crying babies. I was furious. I remember that when I finally got you both settled down for a little while that your aunt Rita called and I was ranting about how he abandoned me when he should've been here. She laughed and said that it wasn't a big deal; that he wouldn't have helped even if he had stayed because tending to sick children was the mother's job not the father's and that I should just get over it. I didn't speak to her for a month after that and I certainly didn't get over it either."

"What did you do?"

"I was waiting for him when he came through the door; I wanted to explode then but I had to wait and get Frankie to bed first but once that was done, I let him have it. I told him how terrible it was for him to leave me, that not helping to tend to his children made him a sorry excuse of a father. He was livid but so was I…I locked the bedroom door and made him sleep on the couch."

"I bet he liked that," her daughter laughed.

"He was disgruntled to say the least…but it seemed to work some. When I got up the next morning, he had fixed breakfast for you and Frankie. You still weren't feeling too well which made you less independent so he was spooning the oatmeal into your mouth for you. I was surprised that he had taken such initiative; he even cleaned up after you and Frankie were finished. We didn't talk much through the day but he took his turn walking the floor with Colleen so I could give you some much needed attention and when Colleen needed me more, he managed to get you settled down on his lap with a storybook until I could come back to you. I guess I probably hurt his feelings telling him that he was being a bad father…but he hurt me when he walked out of here to find somewhere quieter."

"Maybe it wasn't so bad though that you said those things; it made him take notice."

"Exactly," Naomi remarked. "After a few days when things had calmed down, he apologized…and I apologized as well. It worked itself out and you and Jim will work out your scuffle as well."

"I hope so."

Naomi caressed her daughter's face. "Life never delivers something we can't handle, darling."

"I know," she whispered.

Her mother gave her another hug and then kissed her forehead. "You get ready for bed and then get some rest. Things will look better tomorrow."

"Thanks, Mama."

"Anytime, Bambina; that's what I'm here for."

---

"Didn't we just fix this car?" Jim asked that Sunday as he and his father worked under the hood of Elizabeth Beckett's car.

"Back in November," his father answered. "I didn't realize these hoses were in such bad shape or I would've replaced them then and spared myself that dramatic phone call from your mother yesterday when one of them busted."

"She needs a new car."

"I told you, she doesn't want one; and besides, I like working on it. You usually enjoy it too…except for when you're mad about something. Speaking of which, I took the blame for that dent you put in the car the last time. I hope you appreciate that."

"I do," Jim answered; "And if you want to take it and have the dent pulled out, I'll pay for it."

Robert waved a hand. "I'm not worried about it. I think it gives the car character. You want to tell me what's eating at you today?"

"Nothing."

"Jimmy," his father said knowingly; a touch of 'don't give me any nonsense' in his tone.

He grabbed a rag and wiped his hands and then tossed the cloth aside. "Johanna's mad at me," he said gruffly.

"Again!" Robert exclaimed.

"Yes, again," he retorted.

"Christ, Jimmy; what did you do to that girl now?"

"She's blowing the whole thing out of proportion…just like a woman always does!"

"Sometimes they have valid reasons for that; but just what is it that she's blowing out of proportion?"

"New Year's Eve," he replied as he stalked across the garage to the refrigerator and took out a beer.

"What happened on New Year's Eve?" his father asked as he sat down on a metal chair and directed his son to do the same.

Jim sat down and told his father all about the party and how mad Johanna had gotten. "She blew it all out of proportion," he said once again as he described her storming out of the building.

"Hmm, kind of like how you blew it out of proportion when she was having lunch with that other fellow?"

"That was totally different!"

"Was it?" the older man asked. "It sounds the same to me."

"It is not! She was having lunch with him all the time. I only talked to Melanie for a little while."

"But you were there as Johanna's date."

"Why does that mean that I can't associate with other people?"

"That's not what I said and you know it. There's talking to someone and then there's neglecting your date. From what you told me, you spent more time with Melanie than you did with Johanna."

"It wasn't my fault! I tried to get away but Melanie was relentless."

Robert shook his head. "Sounds to me like you didn't try hard enough."

"For God's sake," Jim muttered before taking a sip of his beer. "Everybody acts like I cheated on her."

"You acted like she was cheating on you back in November."

Jim narrowed his eyes at his father. "I told you that was different. I was just trying not to be rude to Melanie; she is a colleague after all."

Robert nodded. "And when Johanna was having lunch with another man, she was just conducting business with a colleague."

"Would you stop with that?" he exclaimed. "You're my father; you're supposed to be on my side."

"I am, son."

"Try acting like it."

"I can be on your side while pointing out the error of your ways…and when it comes to this young lady, you sure do have a lot of errors. I don't know whether I should slap you upside the head or if I should just let her try and coax you into submission."

He gave his father another glare. "I'm not the one who got mad and stormed out of the party."

"No; but you're the reason for her doing it. Now listen, son; I understand talking to someone else, maybe even a dance, but after that it should've ended and you should've made your way back to your date…even if you had to be rude to do it. You know better than to do what you did; you're just trying to justify it to yourself and put Johanna in the wrong. Maybe she did overreact a little…but you hurt her feelings and that's what women do when they get their feathers ruffled."

Jim sighed. "You're like talking to a brick wall. You just can't agree with me once, can you?"

Robert laughed. "Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. Let me ask you something, Jimmy; why was this Melanie so keen to keep her hooks in you that night? Is something going on there?"

"No."

His father studied him. "Do you want something to be going on there?"

"Of course not!"

"Then you shouldn't have been playing with fire. Has there been something there before with Melanie? Something she's trying to rekindle?"

"I don't want Melanie," he said firmly.

"You didn't exactly answer the question. Is there some sort of history there?"

"You got your answer; I don't want her."

"I bet Johanna didn't feel that way."

"Yeah, she mentioned that," he replied, his grip tightening on his beer can.

"I bet she did," Robert laughed. "Tell me something else; if Melanie is a colleague of yours, then apparently she's one of Johanna's as well…how do they get along?"

Jim scoffed. "Let's just say that if they were stray cats, they'd have to be kept in separate cages at the pound…or better yet, at separate pounds."

His father whistled as he leaned back in his chair. "Mhmm; I had a feeling there might be some bad blood there. If those two are rivals, did it ever occur to you that Melanie was keeping you by her side to get a dig at Johanna?"

"I really don't think so; I mean Melanie and Johanna take their digs at each other without need for a prop. Apparently they got into some scuffle in the bathroom before Johanna stormed out of the party."

"And you don't think that's related to you?"

Jim shrugged. "Jo should know by now that I care about her; not Melanie."

"There's a problem with that theory, Jimmy."

"What?"

"She doesn't know exactly how you feel…you haven't told her."

He surged to his feet. "Are we going to go through that again?"

"No; you clearly remember the last time…not that it seems to have made an impression. I just hate to see you possibly throwing away a good thing. She's good for you, she makes you happy. She'd keep a nice home for you and be a good mother to your children…"

"Stop! We are not going down that road. I swear, Mom really is rubbing off on you."

"She has not; I'm just saying that Johanna is a sweet girl…"

"Sweet girl," Jim laughed. "That sweet girl slapped me New Year's morning! She's got a temper that's on par with a category five hurricane."

Robert's eyes widened. "What did you do to her that made her slap you?"

"She wasn't happy to wake up with me," he said without thinking.

"What!" his father exclaimed.

"I guess I didn't tell you that part."

"Do I want to know?"

Jim gave him an exasperated look and filled in the rest of the evening, although he wondered if he really should be confessing that he took Johanna home with him.

"Tell me you didn't take advantage of her while she was drunk," his father said sternly.

"Of course not! I wouldn't do that!"

"You better not!"

"I didn't; any way, she decided she was still mad, we had a fight, I thought I could calm her down…and I kissed her, that made it worse and she slapped me."

Robert shook his head. "Where did I go wrong with you? Didn't I teach you anything? You don't make a move like that when a woman is that upset with you; it only makes it worse."

"Yeah, I noticed. There was more fighting after that…and she stormed out and hasn't spoken to me since."

"Well she has a right to be mad; you treated her badly, Jimmy. It seems like you're making a sport out of making that woman mad at you."

"I am not…it just seems to happen before I can stop it."

"Maybe if you did something about telling her certain things, you wouldn't find yourself in this situation so often."

"It's not like we fight every day. We had that little scuffle in November and now this one."

"So basically that's two fights in nearly two months…you know why that is?"

"No," Jim sighed; "But I'm sure you're going to tell me whether I want to know or not."

"You're damn right," Robert replied. "These little spats are popping up because it's getting a little harder for the two of you to keep things the way they are."

He didn't want to hear this, he thought to himself as he took another sip of beer and then set it aside and got to his feet. "Let's get this car finished; dinner will be ready soon."

"Don't change the subject," Robert told him. "You know it's true."

"I don't know any such thing."

"Well I hope you know that you have to apologize to her and make things right."

"I called her this morning; I wanted to take her to lunch and smooth things over before we go back to work tomorrow but she hung up on me as soon as she heard my voice."

His father smiled. "She's going to be stubborn this time…but then again, maybe it's still a little too soon. Wait a few days and take her some flowers, maybe she'll be more willing to listen then…and keep your hands and lips to yourself unless she gives you permission to use them."

Jim smirked; sometimes that was easier said than done. "I mean it, Jimmy," his father said as if he was reading his mind. "If you don't want to get your face slapped again, you'll wait until she's ready to accept such gestures. You screwed up, own up to it, that's what she wants…among other things that you don't want to talk about."

"I knew I should've stayed home," Jim mumbled as he put his head back under the hood of the car.

"There's no fun in that," Robert laughed. "Just think of your suffering as offering entertainment to your old man."

He gave him a hint of a smile. "I'm glad the hardships of my life amuse you, Dad."

His father grinned. "I'd say something about that; but you wouldn't want to hear it."

---

The work week started off with a feeling of dread for Johanna. She hated the thought of walking into the lion's den and being the main topic of gossip. The thought bothered her so much that she stopped on the way to work and bought a cup of coffee to take with her so that she could avoid the morning gathering in the break room. There were a few appointments on her schedule that morning, giving her an excuse to hole up in her office. She and Sharon only spoke about work related subjects; their New Year's Day discussion hanging heavily between them. At lunch time, she ate alone at her desk after grabbing a sandwich and drink from the diner across from the street. Johanna felt like a cross between the plague and public enemy number one as no one popped into her office through the day but she shrugged off that feeling, telling herself that she was there to work, not to socialize.

The day ended quietly and she slipped out of her office while Sharon and Phil made their plans for the evening. Phil made a remark about 'hardheaded Johanna' but she ignored it and went on her way. She sometimes felt like Phil didn't think much of her and that was fine, she didn't really care…but sometimes she couldn't help but think that his opinions were changing Sharon in small ways; not that she'd ever say so of course. She'd probably get unfairly accused of something if she did. She made her way to the elevator only to end up on it with Jeff and Jim. Jim ignored her and she did the same. Jeff shifted on his feet and tried to engage in conversation with both of them but he soon realized that he was only getting one word answers from one or the other of them and he sighed heavily.

"I hate when the two of you fight; I'm always the one who suffers."

"Take it up with him," Johanna said, nodding at Jim.

"No, take it up with her," Jim remarked. "She's the one that's too hardheaded to accept an apology and move on."

"Maybe I would have if I had felt like you had really meant it. You clearly thought that you didn't really do anything wrong."

"Those of us who are logical know that it wasn't as big of an offense as you make it out to be."

"How about we blame both of you," Jeff suggested. "Jim's at fault for being dumb and somewhat insensitive and Sassy, you're at fault for being a little too damn stubborn this time. I think you just want to be mad and can't find any other reason to be that way."

The doors of the elevator opened and Johanna stepped out without giving a response. If they wanted to make her the bad guy, so be it.

---

By midweek little had changed but she was no longer hiding in her office. Gossip had shifted to other things, especially the upcoming birthday party of a colleague that everyone was invited to that coming Friday. Johanna had already decided that she wasn't going; she'd had her fill of parties for awhile and besides she had some work to catch up on. Her time would be better spent at her desk. Maggie had lunch with her on Wednesday, apologizing for her absence but subtly assuring her that she was on her side all the way…and that Sharon wouldn't stop them from kicking ass the next time if the situation arose again.

The support had made her feel better with the exception of that little ache in her heart. Her anger had cooled and was replaced by a lingering feeling of hurt…and she was starting to miss Jim.

---

When the end of the work day rolled around on Friday, Johanna sighed deeply but stuck to her plan to work late. Sharon moved into her office, her coat on and her purse in her hand.

"Aren't you going home today?" her secretary asked.

"No; I'm going to stay and get caught up on some things," she answered, gesturing to the thin stack of files on her desk.

"Aren't you going to Karen's party?"

"No…I'm not really in a party mood lately."

Sharon lingered in front of her desk and so she raised her gaze to her face once more. "Is there something else?" Johanna asked.

"Yeah…how much longer are we going to be like this, Jo?"

"I was waiting for you to decide."

"I never wanted it to be this way in the first place. I didn't think you'd take our talk so badly."

"Well you should've known better than to come and lecture me when you knew I was already pissed off and hungover."

"I was just trying to help you and keep you from going overboard…is that so bad?"

"No, not when it's done at the right time. I know I shouldn't have let Melanie get at me so much…but you went too far when you accused me of being jealous of you and Phil and of Maggie and Jeff."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings with that comment…but I know you want more with Jim and I think you need to do more to achieve it."

"Well maybe I'm not the only one; I mean you've been with Phil for a good while now…shouldn't you be pressuring him to make your relationship more permanent? I mean I know you want to marry him; you were going out of your mind last Valentine's Day thinking that you were getting a ring. One of you needs to make that move; it may as well be you."

Sharon rocked on her heels for a moment. "That's a low blow, Johanna."

She nodded. "Yeah…low blows hurt, don't they?"

"Yeah, they do…I get it; I hurt you and I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry…just consider us even," Johanna replied.

"Fair enough…but when are we going to get past it?"

"We're past it as far as I'm concerned. I don't want it to keep being this way."

Sharon studied her for a moment. "You know I'm not really going to believe that until we carrying on a normal conversation that doesn't involve work."

Johanna smiled. "You have my phone number."

"I'm using it tomorrow," her friend replied; "And you better answer."

"I will but you better call in the morning or the evening, I'm babysitting Greg tomorrow afternoon."

"I'll call in the morning and tell you about the party…unless you want to change your mind and come along."

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I really don't feel like going."

"Alright," Sharon replied, rounding the desk to give her friend a hug as another gesture of goodwill. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Have fun," Johanna told her as she returned her embrace.

Sharon left the office wishing that she could've convinced Johanna to come along but she wasn't about to press her luck. She saw Jim as he got off the elevator and she paused to speak to him. "Phil's waiting downstairs for you," he told her.

"I know. Are you going to the party?"

"Is Johanna?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No; she says she's going to stay here and get some work done."

He exhaled heavily. "Then I'm not going either…parties just get me into trouble."

Sharon smiled. "So what are you going to do? I don't think the two of you can let this go on for much longer."

"What's the scale of her madness today?"

"I think she's mellowing…she's had time to cool off."

"Good," Jim replied; "Because I'm ready to end this. I don't want to walk in here next week with her still being mad at me. It drives me crazy."

She laughed. "I don't think she enjoys it either…contrary to popular belief."

"I know…but it's time to settle it. I'll wait until everyone gets out of here and then I'll go talk to her in a little while if you think it's safe."

"I think you'll be safe," Sharon replied. "Just make sure you make her believe that you're sorry this time."

"I intend to…because I am sorry…and I miss her."

"Then get to work and I'll see you Monday."

Jim gave her a smile and hit the button of the elevator for her as he told her goodbye. He could fix this…at least he hoped so.

---

Jim knocked on Johanna's office door later on and when he heard her voice call 'come in'; he opened the door and stood in the doorway until she turned away from the window and met his gaze. "Can we talk?" he asked quietly.

Johanna thought about it for a moment, weighing the decision carefully. She wasn't really angry anymore; although she was still nursing the bruise on her feelings. But as she looked at him, she only longed to put it to rest. She missed him and there was an echo of loneliness that lingered in her heart whenever he wasn't around. "Yeah," she answered; her tone soft as she gestured for him to come inside.

He closed the door despite it being after hours and crossed the room to stand before her. As he neared her, he held a single red rose out towards her. Her heart fluttered as her fingers reached for the flower. "What's this for?"

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely as he held her gaze. "What I did was wrong and there's no excuse for that."

Johanna nodded; her fingertips caressing the silken petals of her rose. She drifted back a few steps; leaning against the window frame as she felt the momentary need for space as she broached her response. "You hurt me, Jim," she stated; her tone almost soft enough to be a whisper.

Jim sucked in a breath; wondering why that softness could strike him harder than words shouted in anger. "I know; and that's something I never wanted to do, Johanna. I swear to you that I never set out to intentionally hurt you."

"I believe you didn't do it on purpose...but the fact remains that you did hurt me; regardless of the intent...and then you brushed aside that feeling like it didn't matter and that hurt even more."

"Johanna," he breathed; "If there was some way I could go back in time and undo it, I would. Hurting you didn't make me feel good. It made me feel terrible. I didn't mean to brush aside your feelings that morning...I just wanted it to go away. I just wanted everything to be fine and I felt like you weren't listening to me and that everything was blowing up and I didn't know how to stop it."

She dropped her gaze for a moment; gently twirling the stem of her rose between her fingers. "It's just as much my fault," she replied quietly.

"How do you figure?"

"I overreacted...I guess for some reason, I thought of myself as something more than I am. You don't have to answer to me...you don't owe me any explanations. You asked me to go with you but we went as friends; it wasn't anything more than that. I don't have a claim on you; you were free to spend your time with whoever you wanted. I had no right..."

"You had every right. I asked you to go with me because I wanted to be there with you...and I should've spent my time with you. We may have been there as friends but...that didn't make you any less my date," he admitted.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It's over and done with. Let's just forget about it."

Jim shook his head. "If it didn't matter, we wouldn't have spent the last few days not speaking to each other."

"Well I never said I wasn't petty," Johanna commented; her gaze straying to the snow falling outside the window. "And I guess it's easier to be angry than hurt."

"You're not petty, and I don't want you to think that you have to act like something I do doesn't hurt you when it does. I always want you to tell me if I do something that hurts you...I want to know so I can stop; because hurting you is one of the worst feelings there is."

"I don't like being angry with you," she admitted softly. "I hate it. It feels like the world is out of sorts when something's wrong between us."

"I know...I feel it too. I really am sorry, Johanna. Can you forgive me?"

She nodded. "I forgive you."

"You'll give me another chance?"

"Yes," she replied; a light smile gracing her lips, her fingers reaching for his and curling around them. "If you're willing to give me one as well."

"You didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart."

"I feel like I did."

"You didn't, but if you need me to say it, I will. I'll give you another chance too."

Johanna gave him a small smile. "I feel better now."

He smiled; the weight of the world slipping from his shoulders as relief filled his heart. He didn't know what he would've done if her answer had been no in regard to giving him yet another chance. He did, however, know what he wanted to do now that he had her forgiveness. "May I kiss you?" he asked quietly; figuring it wasn't a proper make up until they kissed.

Johanna's eyes met his. "Since when do you ask?"

"Since you slapped me for doing it without permission."

Her gaze dropped, a part of her ashamed for losing control of her temper the way she had. She brushed her fingers against his cheek and then his lips. "I'm sorry I slapped you," she murmured. "It was wrong…I was just so angry. I'm so sorry."

He smiled as he took her hand. "Don't be; it was a lesson I needed to learn," he told her before bringing her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss against her palm and then each finger.

He sure knew how to make her go weak in the knees, Johanna thought to herself. It felt like such an intimate gesture as he slowly bestowed those kisses against her skin. Her heart pounded and her eyelids fluttered close as his lips fell against the inside of her wrist.

"May I kiss you, Jo?" he whispered in her ear as he nuzzled her hair.

"Yes," she breathed softly. His mouth skimmed hers with gentle hesitation; as if he was testing the waters to be sure she truly wanted what he was offering. She swayed toward him; her body settling against him as his arms wrapped around her. He recaptured her lips, deepening their kiss as her fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck.

This was how it should've been, he mused. It should've just been them, alone together somewhere; lost in each other and the gentle silence that snowfall always brought to the world. What he wouldn't give to have that night to do over.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered; her fingers skimming his jaw after their kiss had ended.

"It wasn't the night I had in mind," he replied. "I wanted it to be such a good night...and I blew it."

She shook her head. "It's okay; it happens."

"I guess you wouldn't want to put that dress back on, would you?"

"Why?"

"I want a do over," Jim replied. "I want to make it up to you. I want to have the night we should've had."

"That dress is more suited for a party, Jim; and I don't think we're going to find one…and I don't want to go to Karen's."

"We don't need a party...I just want us to have something better than what we had. You don't have to wear the dress. You look pretty in this," he told her; tugging gently at the sleeve of her emerald green cashmere sweater.

"You don't have to do this," she told him.

"I want to; I want a chance to make it up to you...to us. Please, sweetheart."

That term of endearment never failed to melt her and she nodded. "Okay; if it means that much to you."

"It does," Jim said seriously. "I want you to know that I do care…that you do matter to me and that I didn't mean any of those things I said about not taking you anywhere any more."

"I know you didn't; you only said it because I told you not to ask anymore," she replied; dipping her head as she recalled the words she had spoken.

He tilted her chin up so that she'd be looking at him once again. "It wouldn't have stopped me from asking, Jo."

"I'm glad," she murmured.

His lips touched hers once again and her arms slipped around him. When their kiss ended, she tucked her head beneath his chin and clung to him. "So what's our do-over going to consist of? Dinner and a movie?"

"No; it needs to be better than that."

Johanna gave a soft laugh. "It's kind of last minute, honey; there isn't much else to choose from."

Jim frowned at that thought. "I'd love to take you out right now, and if you want to go, we will…but I'd rather plan it if that's okay with you? Can you give me a few days to think of something special and worthy of making up for New Year's?"

She smiled up at him, warm spreading through her. "Yeah, I can do that."

"You don't mind?"

"No, not at all."

He hugged her tightly and pressed a kiss to her head. "I promise it'll be worth it…I'll think of something really nice for you."

"I'm not worried," Johanna told him; but she was growing excited at the prospect of what he might come up with. Maybe the year wouldn't turn out so bad after all.