A/N: Thanks for your reviews!
Chapter 44- The Heart Wants What It Wants- Part 5
"You don't have to walk me in," Johanna stated as Charles pulled up in front of her building.
He smirked at her in the dim glow of the street lights; his hand straying towards her knee. "Are you sure about that?"
"I'm positive," she replied; shifting her leg away from him.
"So I guess you're done using me tonight," Charles remarked wryly; this time dragging a finger along her arm.
She glanced at him but said nothing; shrugging away from his touch once again. He chuckled quietly. "Come now, you didn't really think that I didn't know you were using me, did you?"
"If you knew, why did you go along with it?"
"I thought maybe you'd enjoy it…you'd see what you've been missing out on while you chased after Jim."
Johanna scoffed. "You have such a high opinion of yourself, Charles."
"Not without good reason," he replied; brushing a knuckle against her cheek. "I bet I could make you forget about him."
She looked him in the eye. "I bet you couldn't."
"There's only one way to find out."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "It's not happening, Charles. Goodnight."
"Didn't you have a good time?"
"Yes, I had a nice time but it's over now."
"Not without at least a kiss goodnight," he replied as he leaned toward her. Johanna hurriedly turned her face and his lips landed against her cheek.
"Now is that any way to treat a man who showed you a good time?"
"A lot of people showed me a good time tonight and I didn't kiss them either," she replied. "Goodnight."
"Okay, but just know this, I let you use me for free this time...but next time you'll have to pay up," he stated with a leer.
"There won't be a next time," she stated as she got out of the car and slammed the door. She blew out a sigh of relief as she heard him pull away from the curb.
The night hadn't gone as planned. Jim had left hours before she did and although he had made a few snide remarks, he hadn't made any declarations or attempts to get her away from her date. So much for the jealousy plan, she thought as she got on the elevator. She was sure that it was over now...she'd made her big play and it had failed. He wasn't interested in what she wanted or what she had to offer. Her throat tightened; tears stinging her eyes. She blinked back the moisture; she wasn't going to cry anymore. A flicker of anger sparked inside of her and she dwelled on it instead as the doors opened and she stepped off the elevator. As she made her trek down the hallway, she caught sight of Jim standing outside her door, a stern look on his features as he watched her.
"What are you doing here?" Johanna asked tartly as she fished her keys out of her bag.
"Waiting on you to get home. Where the hell have you been? I was starting to think maybe you went and got a hotel room with the jackass," Jim retorted.
She smirked at him. "No, we're saving that for next weekend."
"Cute," he replied.
"It's none of your business where I've been."
"I beg to differ."
"You can beg all you want but it doesn't change the fact."
"Open the damn door; we have a few things to discuss."
"Is that right?" she asked. "Well who said you were coming in? I think I told you not to come back here."
"Oh I'm coming in alright," he retorted as he wrapped his hand around her arm while she unlocked the door. "Goodnight, Mrs. Blackston," he called out as he heard Johanna's neighbor crack her door open again. He practically pushed Johanna through the door way and then slammed the door behind them as she shrugged off his grip.
"Alright, Johanna," he stated angrily as he faced her. "Do you want to tell me what that little show tonight was about?"
"What show?" she asked.
"You know what show! You at the gala!"
"That wasn't a show, honey; that was called going to a party and having a good time. What's the matter; didn't you have a good time?"
"How could I when you were making a fool out of yourself?"
"I believe we already had this discussion, Jim. The only person I made a fool out of myself for was you, and now that we know where each other stands, I won't be doing it anymore."
"Don't be ridiculous!" he retorted.
"I'm not; I'm being serious."
"No, you were just out there trying to prove something."
"You're right, I was trying to prove something and I think I did."
"What's that?"
"That I don't need you," she stated as she held his glare. "You might not want me, but there are men who do."
"They don't want what you want, Johanna; they just want you in bed."
She scoffed. "Oh, kind of like you then, right? You should stop talking about Charles so much if that's the case... apparently you're in the same class as he is."
"The hell I am!"
"I'm not seeing any evidence to the contrary!"
"You know I care about you! Everything we've been through together and you stand there and act like I've only wanted to get you into bed! How dare you!"
"How dare me? How dare you! I know everything we've been through together...that's what makes it hurt the most, Jim! You just lead me on! You let me think that we were going somewhere with this...and the only place you wanted to go was my bed! You don't even care about how I feel...you don't care how I feel about you!"
"That's not true! I do care; I've told you a thousand times that I care; you're just too damn stubborn to listen. You have to have everything your way and if it's not your way then you don't want it. Well here's a newsflash, sweetheart; you don't always get to have things your way!"
"No kidding," she laughed bitterly. "And maybe you ought to practice what you preach, because apparently you want everything your way. You want all the benefits but none of the strings attached; well I'm not that kind of girl!"
"Oh really?" he laughed. "It didn't look that way tonight. What the hell were you trying to be, Jo? Were you trying to be like Melanie and all the rest of them that you put down? Look at the way you're dressed! Who were you advertising for? Charles? You sure didn't seem to mind his hands all over you."
"His hands weren't all over me; and don't you dare insinuate that I'm like Melanie or Callie or any of them! There's nothing wrong with the way I'm dressed!"
"Don't you think it's a little tight? And a little short? You don't go around dressed that way!"
Johanna smiled. "Well maybe it's time I start. Apparently you don't get anywhere with the way I've been going about things. What's wrong, Jim...is it a turn on for you? Did it make you mad that you could look but couldn't touch?"
Anger simmered in his veins as he grabbed her arm and jerked her closer. "Don't you care what people think about you? Don't you care about the impression you were giving? They're going to think you're no better than those tramps you bitch about. Is that what you want?"
She shrugged; her eyes snapping with anger. "Maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe it's time for a change of attitude. I'm tired of being alone."
"You're not alone!"
"Really?" she yelled. "Tell that to my bed every night when I go to sleep alone and wake up alone! Tell that to me every time I sit down for a meal alone! When everyone I know is with someone or getting engaged or married and having babies and I'm still in the same damn place, getting all of those pity looks! Don't tell me I'm not alone, because I am!"
"How can you be alone when you have me?" he yelled back.
"Have you?" she laughed but there was no humor behind the action. "I have some of you, Jim; but not all of you...and that's not enough anymore!"
"So now you want Charles and the men of his ilk who looked you up and down all night like you were a prize they were going to get to take home at the end of the night! Did Charles make you feel good, Johanna? Is that why you didn't mind his hands on you? Did it make you feel like you weren't lacking something when every man in the room had his eyes on you?"
She smirked; her eyes burning with tears she wouldn't dare shed. "Maybe it did...maybe it made me remember that you're not the only man in the world; that you're not the only one capable of making me feel special and wanted," she stated as they remained so close to one another that they were practically nose to nose.
"No one can make you feel the way I do," Jim stated; his tone low and gruff.
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because I know...because I've felt the way your heart beats when I kiss you...when I touch you...the way you touch me...I know in a thousand little ways that none of them can ever make you feel the way you do when you're with me."
"That may be true," she replied; her voice nearly a whisper; "But what does it matter? You don't want me...maybe someone else does...they can make me feel something different."
"No, they can't; you don't want them. You don't want Charles! It made me sick watching you with him tonight! I couldn't stand to watch you lower yourself like that and I won't stand for it."
"You won't stand for it!" she yelled. "You say that like you have an option!"
"I won't let you become one of them, Johanna! I won't stand by and watch while you let them use you in your quest to find some kind of happiness that you think you're lacking."
"You don't want me but you don't want anybody else to have me, right? Well I already told you, Jim; I'm tired of just being your go to girl; there for your convenience when you need a date or want someone to fool around with! I need more! I need to know that I'm not going to wake up one day and go to work and find out that I've been shoved to the side for some little flashy piece of baggage that you want to screw for awhile and then come back to me when you're done!"
"I never said I didn't want you!"
"I think you did! It came through loud and clear!"
"That's because you only hear what you want to hear! You made your point tonight; you can have any man you want. Are you happy now?"
"No; I'm not happy! That's what this whole thing has been about, Jim!"
"Well you're not going to be happy this way either and I'm not going to stand by and watch you be degraded and watch you throw yourself at scum like Charles Patterson! I'm not going to do it, Johanna! I'm not going to let you do it!"
"Why do you even care?" she yelled.
"Because I love you damn it!"
She looked at him in astonishment; had that really just happened? Had she heard that right?
Jim raked a hand through his hair. Those words had slipped from his lips without thought and he couldn't take them back. They weren't a lie; he meant it. He loved her; had loved her for a long time…but those words were so terrifying for some reason, but now they were out in the open and he felt a weight lift from his shoulders as she stared at him in surprise. Looked like she had gotten it her way after all, he thought as he roughly cupped her cheek and pulled her closer; capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.
She melted into his arms; one passion filled kiss morphing into another until the need to take in more air forced them apart. "I love you, Johanna," he murmured as his lips parted from hers. "I love you."
Her heart pounded and her fingers betrayed the slightest hint of a tremor as she skimmed the line of his jaw, her eyes meeting his. "I love you too, Jim."
He released a breath, relief washing over him as he dipped his head and captured her lips in a slow, tender kiss as she melted into his embrace once more. She loved him…he couldn't imagine a better feeling in the world at that moment. All the weight he'd been carrying on his shoulders slipped away as she instigated another kiss.
"I've missed this," Johanna whispered; her mouth brushing against his as she spoke.
"So have I," he replied; stealing a quick kiss.
"It wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked.
"What?"
"Telling me how you feel."
Jim shook his head. "No; I guess it wasn't."
She forced herself out of his embrace and drifted to the sofa and sat down, there were still things that needed discussed; answers she still needed. "Why couldn't you tell me when I first wanted to talk about it?" she asked as she pulled her shoes off.
Jim shrugged as he sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. "I don't really have a good reason for that. I've loved you for a long time, Jo…I guess I was just afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of ruining what we already had…because what we had was so good. I'm afraid of blowing it."
Johanna glanced at him. "Why are you so sure you're going to blow it?"
He squeezed the back of his neck and she slid down the sofa toward him, capturing his hand and holding it between hers. "You don't have to be nervous, it's only me," she told him.
"Yeah, well I hate feeling stupid in front of you."
She smiled. "I know the feeling."
He squeezed her hand, the corner of his mouth curving upwards. "I'm afraid of blowing it because you're important to me…more important than anyone else ever has been and I don't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either," she replied. "I'm afraid too…but I don't want to regret not taking the chance. What we have has been great and it can be even better. I don't want to blow it either…but I don't look at it as being doomed from the start because it isn't."
"I know…but it's hard not to think of it going wrong. I hate change…I've never been good with it I guess."
"I get that," Johanna told him. "I think about it going wrong too, but I also think of this; we're starting off in a better place than some couples."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because we're not starting out as strangers," she answered. "We have a history together; we have a friendship that grew into this. We know one another; we respect and understand each other. We don't have to start from scratch because we already have a foundation."
Somehow when he heard it put like that; it didn't seem like all that big of a risk to take. They had already been together in a lot of ways and that experience would benefit them as they took the next step.
"Hearing it said like that makes me feel better about the risk," he admitted.
"I could've said it like that three weeks ago if you had just talked to me about it instead of fighting me."
Guilt slammed into him. "I'm so sorry, Jo. I never wanted to hurt you and I know I did that night…and that I've kept doing it even when I was trying not to. I said hurtful things that night and you don't know how much I regret that. I guess I felt like everything was spiraling out of my control and I…"
"Didn't know how to deal with it," she supplied.
"Yeah…you were right, I was looking to wound you to get out of it. I regret that; I hope you believe that. I never meant to make you feel like you weren't good enough or that I didn't want you...I want you more than anything. I never meant to hurt you, Jo."
"I know you didn't; and if I hurt you these last few weeks, I'm sorry. It wasn't something I wanted to do…"
"But I didn't really give you much choice," he cut in.
"No, you didn't; I couldn't just ignore it. I was willing to fight for you, Jim; and that was the only way I knew how. You always tell me to not to be afraid to have a backbone and I was hurt and angry which only added fuel to the fire."
"Felt more like ice than fire," he quipped.
She laughed softly. "I didn't enjoy it."
He smiled as he regarded her with a raised brow. "I think you might've enjoyed it a little."
"I might've enjoyed watching you squirm just a little," she admitted with a sheepish grin. "But overall, I hated every second of it. I didn't like shutting you out, Jim. I missed you so much," she whispered; her fingers reaching out to trail along his face.
"I missed you too, sweetheart," Jim replied before capturing her lips in a kiss.
"That's something else I've missed," she murmured.
"What?"
"Being your sweetheart."
Jim's fingertips skimmed the curve of her face. "You're always my sweetheart; even when you're mad at me."
Johanna smiled; the words slipping from her lips without hesitation. "I love you."
"You look so pretty when you say that," he remarked quietly; a smile touching his lips as he cupped her face.
"It feels good to say it," she replied as she caught his chin with her fingertips and drew him closer for a kiss.
He didn't want to disturb this bubble of calmness they had reached but there was something that keep nagging at him that he needed to get off his conscience. He broke their kiss and pulled back from her. "There's something I feel like I need to tell you," he said quietly.
"What is it?" Johanna asked; worry skittering across her heart. Maybe confessing his love didn't mean what she thought…her heart would shatter for sure if that was the case.
"It's about the other night…with Callie."
She shook her head; her stomach twisting. "You don't have to tell me, that's your business."
"It's not what you think," he replied; knowing that she assumed the worst.
"What then?"
Jim rubbed the back of his neck. "She kissed me," he confessed. "I swear I didn't encourage it or start it. I know how it looked when you saw me with her, but I didn't want that. She made the offer to take it further but I didn't leave with her, Jo. That's why I want you to know…in case she ever tries to tell you otherwise."
It wasn't easy to stomach the thought that Callie had put her lips on him but she appreciated his honesty. Her hand found his and curled around it. "Okay…thank you for telling me."
"Okay?" he repeated. He had expected hurt and anger…but she was displaying neither of those things.
"Yeah…I mean I don't like the thought of her kissing you but you said you didn't want it and I believe you."
Relief filled him. "You don't know how glad I am to hear that."
"You didn't have to tell me."
"Yeah I did; I've felt guilty ever since it happened. It felt like cheating on you."
Johanna squeezed his hand. "I know that feeling too…and I want you to know that I didn't do anything with anyone I went out with. I would never cross that line."
"I know you didn't; you're not like that."
She breathed deeply before speaking once again. "Daniel tried to kiss me but I didn't let him."
Jim gave her a small smile. "I had a feeling something like that happened."
"Charles tried to kiss me too, but I didn't let him; I swear I didn't."
His jaw tightened for a second but then he let it relax. "I believe you…but did he try anything else?"
"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "He might've alluded to the fact that he was open to other things but I shot him down."
"He didn't try to force you into anything?"
"No; he didn't do anything to me."
"I worried about you being with him."
"I was on guard," she promised; "I wouldn't have gone if I thought I couldn't handle it."
"I know...but I hated it."
"Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"I didn't like going out with any of them."
He nodded. "I know…you were telling me that every time you told me you wouldn't have to see them if you had the person you wanted."
"None of them could compare to you…and I didn't want them to. I just had to do something. I didn't want to be with any of them…I just wanted to be with you."
"I didn't want to go out with Melanie that day either," he told her.
"I know; you told me."
The silence that fell between them felt somewhat odd as the unknown stretched out before them.
"So where does all of this leave us?" Johanna asked softly as she looked at him.
Jim moved toward her once again, dropping an arm around her. "Right about here," he remarked before catching her lips in a long slow kiss.
Their slow tender kisses steadily grew more passionate as reached for the pins in her hair. "Your hair was pretty tonight," he murmured between kisses; his fingers pulling a bobby pin from the elegant knot. "But I like it best when it's down."
"Then take it down," she encouraged; her breath warm against his ear as her lips skimmed against it.
He plucked the pins from their places and allowed them to fall to the floor. When her hair tumbled down, his fingers sunk into the silky mass as he captured her lips in a searing kiss. The spark between them flared into a raging fire as their kisses grew more heated. His hands moved over her sensuously, making her yearn for more as she found herself being pressed back against the sofa. She wouldn't stop him this time; Johanna thought to herself as she felt his hand gliding along her thigh, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of her dress. But then she felt him pulling back, his hands slipping away from her body and his mouth abandoning hers, leaving her bereft and startled.
"What are you doing?" Johanna asked breathlessly as he moved away from her.
He was trying very hard to convince himself that their heated moment wasn't going any further than usual…and it would be easier to tell himself that if he wasn't so very close to her. It would also be easier for him to wait if they stopped before they got too carried away. She wasn't going to be ready…she'd probably need time. He shouldn't rush her.
"I'm trying not to assume that anything is going to happen tonight," Jim answered. "I know you probably need time and that's okay. I don't have a problem waiting."
She smiled softly as she moved back into his space, her arms slipping around him. She brushed her lips against the line of his jaw. "What if I said you could assume?" she whispered.
His eyes closed; he'd love nothing more than to assume…especially since the sight of her in that dress had been tormenting him all night. His hand moved along her side without his permission and he dipped his head to give attention to her neck. "We don't have to," he said quietly; not wanting to pressure her. "You probably want it to be special."
"You don't think it would be special tonight?"
Jim kissed her tenderly. "Probably not the kind of special women like. We haven't had the best night…or the best month for that matter."
"It's gotten much better though…I think things have improved greatly, don't you?" she asked.
"Most definitely," he breathed; his lips moving down the column of her throat as she shifted and straddled his lap, her fingers sinking into his hair.
"What do you think women want to make it special?" Johanna asked.
He shrugged. "A nice evening…flowers, candles, music…I don't know. It could be special to me in the back of my car but I'd rather you be comfortable. You know how you girls are…you know more about making it special than I do."
She kissed him; amusement shining softly in her eyes. "It's being with you that makes it special…but I do appreciate that the car has been ruled out."
He laughed as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I ruled it out for this time…not completely…I mean it could be an emergency."
Johanna laughed. "Really? An emergency? I haven't heard that one before."
He dragged his mouth across her collar bone. "I like to be original."
"What can we do to make things special tonight?" she asked softly; touched that it concerned him.
"I don't know," he murmured as his gaze locked on hers. "I didn't even get to dance with you tonight…"
Johanna moved off of his lap and moved across the room to the record player. She switched it on and dropped the needle onto the record she had left on the turntable and then made her way back to Jim and held her hand out to him.
"What are you doing?" he asked as he took her hand.
"Dance with me," she said softly as the opening notes of Best of My Love filled the air.
It felt a little silly but he couldn't turn down the chance to dance with her to their song. He smiled as he pulled her close. "I like the choice of music," he said quietly; amusement in his eyes as he looked at her.
"I'm very fond of this song," Johanna remarked. "You see, I went to a gala this one time and I danced to this song with someone very special."
"Me too," he replied. "I kissed someone very special while this song played too."
"What a coincidence," she teased; "So did I…and he kisses me every time we hear this song together."
"That's a tradition that we shouldn't break," Jim remarked.
"I don't think so either."
He kissed her as they swayed to the music; each kiss a little more passionate than the last until finally the song ended and she pulled away, keeping hold of his hand as she tugged on it. "Come with me," she told him.
"Where to?"
"My room," she murmured.
Jim had been dreaming of this moment for a long time, but he didn't want her to think that she had to do this. "You don't have to do this," he said quietly as they stepped into the darkened room and she slipped her arms around him.
She looked up at him; the dim light slipping through the slats of the blinds giving her enough light to see him. "You don't want me?" she asked softly.
He scoffed. "Sweetheart, I've wanted you all night long…hell it's hard for me to remember a time when I didn't want this…but I don't want you to think that you have to do this tonight. I can wait if you want."
Johanna kissed him; her nerves telling her that maybe she should take that offer but she didn't want to wait any more. She just wanted to be with him and she was going to be nervous no matter how long they waited. "I think we've waited long enough," she whispered.
Anticipation filled him as he kissed her passionately before reaching for the switch on the lamp. "What are you doing?" she asked as he turned on the light.
"I want to see you," he replied.
The thought only increased her nerves. She'd feel better in the dark, and with that thought in mind, she clicked the lamp off. "I don't want the light on."
"Sweetheart, why not?"
"Because…I just don't."
"I just want to be able to see you," he murmured; his lips finding that spot on her neck that would drive her crazy.
"Not this time."
"Why?"
Because she was afraid that he might not think she was as beautiful as he thought once there was nothing to hide her. She knew that he'd seen her in several different bikinis and that they hadn't hid much from him…but still. What if he saw some flaw…what if…"
"Jo," he said quietly; breaking into her thoughts.
"Can we compromise?" she asked instead of answering his question.
"Sure; what do you have in mind?"
She moved away from him and went to the dresser and felt around for the book of matches that she knew was lying there. He wanted things to be nice for her…and she didn't want to deny him what he wanted. She lit the three strawberry scented candles and left one on the dresser and moved one to each nightstand. They didn't give off much light, but she figured it would be enough for him and that it would keep it dark enough for her to be more comfortable. "Is that better?" she asked him.
"That's fine," Jim said with a smile as he reached for her but she slipped away from his hands and moved to her vanity. He watched for a moment as she began to take off her jewelry. She was buying herself some time, he thought to himself as he kicked off his shoes and took off his suit jacket and tie and moved across the room to lay them over the chair. He moved to stand behind her just as she laid her necklace down on the vanity and he slid his hands around her waist as he pressed kisses against her bare shoulder. Johanna turned to face him and he caught her lips in a passionate kiss. He was anxious to return to the fiery moments they had been sharing in the living room before he offered to put the brakes on things. She seemed to be in agreement as her kisses and touches matched his own, but when he began searching for the zipper of her dress, he felt her demeanor change slightly, her kisses becoming softer and her gestures being drawn out more. She was slowing things down…and he wondered once more if maybe she felt like she had to go along with this because he had given her what she wanted.
Jim broke their kiss and looked her in the eye. "Are you sure about this, Jo?"
Johanna nodded. "Yeah, I told you I was."
There was evidence to the contrary, he thought to himself as he saw the smallest hint of a tremble in her fingers as she reached for the top button of his shirt. He didn't want to make her feel badly about how easy it was to pick up on her apparent nervousness about taking this step. He didn't know why she felt the way she did and he couldn't judge her for it; not when there was a small part of him that felt nervous as well. He hated himself for it; it was ridiculous…this was far from his first time at the rodeo…but it would be the first time with Johanna and that made all the difference. They'd waited a long time for this moment; he wanted it to be right for her.
"You just don't seem as sure," he murmured.
Her cheeks warmed; she had hoped that he would be too set on his goal to notice the onset of her nerves. "I'm sure," she told him. "I'm just…"
"Nervous?"
Johanna gave a slight nod as her fingers continued to toy with the button on his shirt. "I know it's stupid."
"It's not stupid," he replied as he pressed a kiss to her lips. "What's making you nervous? Is it me? Am I pressuring you?"
"No; it's not you, it's me. I want this…I want to be with you tonight, I just can't help feeling nervous. I don't…" she trailed off.
"You don't what?"
"I don't want to disappoint you," she said softly.
Jim kissed her. "There isn't a chance in hell of you disappointing me, sweetheart."
She gave a quiet laugh. "You can say that now because we haven't done anything."
"We've worked our way up to it before though and that was never disappointing…well, except for the part where we stopped, that was a little disappointing but I understood."
"Things were going differently on those nights…it always seemed like things were at a fevered pitch before I could even blink. It didn't give me much time to think until was almost too late."
He smiled. "I stopped us earlier and gave you time to think…and made you nervous."
Johanna laughed softly. "Not exactly; it's just…"
"That maybe we knew those other times that it wasn't going to happen so we didn't worry about it too much?"
"Yeah; maybe."
Jim held her gaze. "It doesn't have to happen tonight if you're not ready, Jo. I don't want you to think that you have to do this in return for me telling you that I love you, because that's not how it works."
"I don't feel like that; I want this, I've wanted it just as long as you have."
"Why do you think that might disappoint me?"
She shrugged a shoulder. "I…well…I haven't been around the block as many times as some girls have been…like some of the ones you've probably been with. You know my past, it isn't extensive."
"Sweetheart, you've definitely been going out with the wrong men if you've been made to believe that that statistic is disappointing. I'm glad you're choosy…I'm glad you chose me."
She smiled and caught his lips in a soft kiss. "I guess I just get nervous about taking this step because…," she trailed off, blowing out a breath as she moved away from him and paced a little. "This is really killing the mood, isn't it?" she asked.
Jim laughed. "No; all I have to do is keep looking at you in that dress…I've got enough mood to last for tonight, tomorrow and half of next week. You can talk as much as you want and it won't affect my mood at all."
The comment made her giggle and eased some of the tension in her body. "That's a lot of mood," she quipped.
He grinned. "And it's all yours."
"Aren't I the lucky one?"
"I look at it as mutual luck," he replied, moving toward her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Now you were telling me why you were nervous, although I think I have an idea of what you were going to say."
"What?" she asked; hoping he had figured it out on his own and would spare her from saying it.
"You get nervous because the last time you crossed this line, you got hurt and something that you consider as special and sacred got twisted into a joke against you."
Her gaze dropped and she nodded. Jim bumped her chin upwards with his knuckle. "That's not going to happen this time," he told her. "I know I've hurt you recently…but I'd never hurt you like that. I know you don't do this with just anyone; and that means something to me too, Jo. I won't hurt you like that, I promise."
"I know," she murmured. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "There's nothing to be sorry for. Is there anything else on your mind?"
"Just typical girl things that we all think about in these moments…they have to go away on their own and I'm sure they will."
Jim wasn't exactly sure what all that summed up but he went along with it. "I'll tell you a secret, if you promise not to tell," he said quietly as he brushed a kisses along her jaw.
"I promise."
"I'm a little nervous too."
"Really?" she asked in surprise; "You never seem like it."
"That's because I don't let it stop me," he said lightly; "And it only happens with you…it's different with you. I want it to be right too…we've waited a long time to get here."
Johanna kissed him; her nerves beginning to abate. "Let's not wait any longer."
"You're sure?"
"Yes," she replied, capturing his lips in another kiss as his hands resumed their exploration of her. A thought came to mind, one she hated to bring up but she thought maybe it was best. "Wait," she said, putting a hand against his chest.
Jim looked at her. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"
"No," she laughed. "Believe me, I don't want to bring this up."
"Oh, God," he said. "What?"
"It's nothing bad…well…I guess it depends on how you look at it."
"Spit it out, Jo."
"Are we…prepared for this? Because my father for some reason thought I was producing illegitimate grandchildren for him the other day and I feel like he might've jinxed me."
Jim laughed and took his wallet out of his pocket and laid it on the nightstand before pulling her back into his arms. "Don't worry about that, I've lived up to the Boy Scout motto of always being prepared."
She regarded him with a raised brow. "Just out of curiosity; how long have you been prepared for this?"
"After you shot me down after we had dinner with your grandmother, I figured I better go shopping…you know, just in case you changed your mind."
She laughed softly. "I knew you were smarter than you were behaving recently."
Jim gave a quiet laugh. "Are we good now, is there anything else we need to get out of the way before we try this again?"
She smiled sheepishly. "No, I think that's it…do you think anyone else has as much discussion about it as we have?"
"No," he replied; "Everyone else just does it…but we like to be different."
"Sorry," she whispered.
He shook his head as he drew her closer for a kiss; silencing her words. That fever pitch she had mentioned earlier steadily built and this time when he reached for the zipper of her dress, she remained relaxed but he reminded himself of all of those things he had wanted to make her feel in Atlantic City. He tugged at her snug little dress, stepping back a pace to watch it pool at her feet before she stepped out of it. He took a moment to admire her in her black satin and lace lingerie. "You're so beautiful," he whispered; his hands threading through her hair before he kissed her tenderly. "Is this the special occasion pile?" he asked as his fingers brushed against the lace of her bra.
Johanna laughed as she finished opening the buttons of his shirt and slid it from his shoulders. "Still thinking about that, are you?"
"Apparently," he said between kisses. "I'm hoping to get answers now that I'm allowed to investigate further…but you don't seem to be cooperating. I might have to treat you as a hostile witness."
Her hands moved over his chest, wanting to memorize him as her lips followed their path. "I suppose you deserve an answer," she murmured; giving him a teasing smile before brushing her lips against the base of his throat. "It is a selection from the special occasion pile."
"Right on my first try," he gloated as he backed her toward the bed. "Aren't you proud of me?"
"Very," she replied as he laid her down. "I guess you'll want to be rewarded."
"In every way you see fit," he remarked.
It was really going to happen this time, she thought to herself as she unbuckled his belt. Nerves and anticipation fluttered in her stomach once more and he seemed to know without her saying a word and without her ceasing her gestures. He slowed things down once again; the fiery intensity remaining but wrapped in an intimate tenderness as the final layers were finally stripped away.
As he moved over her, ready to cross that final line between them, he paused and brushed back a lock of hair from her face and looked into her eyes as they fluttered open to see why he had stopped. "I love you," Jim whispered.
"I love you too," she murmured.
He kissed her passionately, allowing the moment to rebuild before he pressed forward, obliterating the line they had never crossed. There would be no going back now…but they couldn't imagine ever wanting to go back as they committed every moment to memory.
Jim laid awake in the earliest hours of the morning, studying Johanna's sleeping form as she laid on her stomach. The sheet had slid down some when she had moved, giving him a view of her bare back. His fingertips couldn't resist the temptation of tracing her spine and they danced across her skin lightly as he watched her face for any sign that she noticed but he found none. Her features were relaxed in slumber; her makeup almost completely worn off and her hair tossled and tangled from his hands running through it.
It was hard to believe that they had finally taken this step…but they had. Three years of a complicated dance orchestrated to keep them from where they were now; three years of denying, of longing for her, dreaming of her, wanting her in every way so badly that sometimes it took all of his effort not to grab her in the hallway at the office and kiss her senseless and beg her not to ever leave him. There was still fear in some ways; he was afraid he'd screw it up and lose her but there was no where else he wanted to be. She had been worth the wait; although in the wake of their love making he had berated himself for waiting so long. A small smile graced his lips as he gazed at her, how could she have ever thought for a moment that she'd disappoint him? It had been incredible…even more incredible than he had dreamed it could be. In his mind's eye he could still see her looking up at him when it was over, a coy smile touching her lips as she found his hand, her palm sliding against his and their fingers entwining as she whispered a breathless 'I love you' that had caressed his soul.
The second time hadn't disappointed either; they were more at ease with each other…those hints of shyness that she had exhibited earlier had disappeared and her kisses and touches had become as bold as his. He had a feeling that any anger they had been harboring had been sufficiently worked out…at least his was…and he felt safe in assuming that hers had been as well. She did tell him that she loved him again before she had gone to sleep…using him as her pillow as she did so. Tonight wasn't just about making love to her though...it was about being in love with her. It was about how he had been lying to himself for a long time...not only about his feelings for her but about her feelings for him as well. Somewhere inside he had to have known that she loved him. But he had ignored it just like he had ignored his own feelings.
He'd been a fool, there was no doubt about that, Jim thought to himself. His biggest fear all along had been losing her...and he almost had with his stubbornness. Just as bad, he had hurt her, and that wasn't knowledge that he enjoyed carrying around with him. Both of those things were bad enough in their own right but he had also realized that he had been depriving himself as well. There was nothing like the feeling of knowing that Johanna McKenzie loved him...that out of all of the men she could've chosen, she had picked him to love. He probably didn't deserve her...she could probably do better...but he didn't want her to as selfish as that was. She had picked him and he was keeping her he thought to himself as his heart swelled with love for her. Jim dipped his head and pressed soft kisses along her back.
Johanna stirred at the sensation as he laid a hand against her hip. "Are you leaving me?" she mumbled sleepily; her eyes remaining closed.
"Why would I do that?" Jim asked softly.
She shrugged a bare shoulder and stretched like a contented cat as she turned onto her side. "Some men like to creep home before dawn."
"Open your eyes and look at me," he commanded with gentle firmness. She did as he asked and he held her gaze. "I'm not one of those men...surely you know that."
"I hoped you weren't," she murmured. "But I had to check."
"I'm not leaving you, sweetheart," he told her before brushing a kiss against her lips. "Not even if you wanted me to go."
She gave a short quiet laugh. "Is that right?"
"It sure is."
"Then I guess it's lucky for you that I don't want you to go."
"Lucky for me? It's lucky for you," he remarked. "You'd have a fight on your hands, Sassy."
"I can hold my own."
He grinned. "Oh I know you can."
She felt her cheeks warming at the suggestive note in his tone and for the first time her quick wit failed her and no retort formed on her tongue as his mouth grazed against her throat.
"In fact, you may never get me out of here now," he remarked.
"I don't mind," Johanna whispered as she caressed his chest for a moment before reaching for the sheet to pull it higher.
"Cold?" he asked.
"A little."
He grabbed the sheet and straightened it enough to tuck more securely around her and then he sat up and reached toward the bottom of the bed and managed to snag hold of a corner of the comforter and pulled it up over them as he settled back down beside her and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped an arm around him as she snuggled against him, waves of sleepiness crashing over her. "What are you making for breakfast?" Jim asked; pulling her back out of her sleepy state as she raised her head to look at him.
"Really?" she replied. "I let you have your way with me and then you expect me to feed you too?"
"Well I have to keep up my strength for you."
She smirked at him. "I think you did just fine."
He grinned; his fingers trailing along her back once again. "It was incredible, wasn't it?"
"It was," she agreed as she caressed his cheek and then stole a kiss.
"Why did we wait so long?"
"Because we didn't know what we were missing."
"Well now that we do; let's not wait so long again."
"I'm agreeable to that," Johanna replied between kisses. "Are you still expecting breakfast in the morning?"
"Well I thought breakfast was complimentary with an overnight stay," Jim teased.
"I guess we'll have to see about that...it might depend on what kind of guest you've been."
A smile crossed his lips. "In that case I better demonstrate how good of a guest I can be," he stated; his hand gliding over her hip. "That is if you're agreeable to such demonstrations."
"Oh I'm very agreeable," she answered before he caught her mouth in a passionate kiss.
The ringing of the phone startled Johanna from her sleep the next morning. She groaned softly and nestled closer to Jim; soaking up his warmth as his fingertips drew lazy circles against the bare skin of her back. "Let it ring," he said quietly; his voice thick with sleep.
"Can't," she murmured; forcing herself to move away from him as she pulled the sheet more securely around her.
"Why not?"
"It's my mother," she answered.
"How do you know?"
"She's the only one who calls this early on a Sunday and if I don't answer, she'll keep calling until I do."
"Tell her you missed church this morning because you were up late being sinful," he quipped as she reached for the phone.
She swatted him. "You just be quiet," she instructed before picking up the phone.
"Hello," she said tiredly.
"Were you still asleep?" Naomi asked.
"Yeah, I was. The gala was last night and I didn't get in until late," she answered as she felt a warm hand slide around her waist.
"Did you have a good time, dear?" Naomi inquired.
"Yeah, I had a nice time," Johanna answered; giving Jim a soft kick as he muffled a laugh against her shoulder.
"What was that noise?" her mother asked.
"What noise?"
"I thought I heard a noise; are you okay?"
Johanna closed her eyes; this was so not the time to have a conversation with her mother...especially with Jim pressing kisses against her neck and that wayward hand of his moving slowly against her skin. "I'm fine," she managed to say without stammering. "Can I call you back later though, I'm not really awake yet."
"Of course, dear. I forgot that your party was last night. You go back to sleep and we'll talk at dinner tonight."
Dinner? Johanna thought; had she promised to be at Sunday dinner? Somehow her memory seemed to only center on the night before but she shook it off and answered the way she was most likely expected to.
"I'll see you tonight," she stated; a new sense of urgency to end the call as Jim's lips found that spot on her neck that drove her crazy. After a quick goodbye, she hung up the phone.
"Lying to your mother on a Sunday," Jim said mischievously. "Shame on you."
She turned towards him and smacked his chest. "See what a bad influence you are; and you were supposed to behave while I was on the phone."
"You said I had to be quiet; you didn't say anything about behaving."
"You weren't very good at being quiet either," she retorted. "She heard a noise."
"You kicked me," he replied.
"You gave me no choice."
He grinned. "If I didn't know better I'd think you were ashamed of being with me."
She laughed softly. "Maybe I am," she teased. "I mean look how low I've stooped here."
Jim chuckled. "You might have to pay for that one," he told her; trailing his fingers up her side; making her flinch when he hit a ticklish spot.
"Don't tickle me," she pleaded with a laugh.
"Give me one good reason," he replied; a mischievous grin on his face as his fingertips remained poised to trail over that ticklish area once again.
"Because...if you do; I might not let you back into my bed for a very long time."
"When you put it like it; tickling loses its appeal."
"I thought it would," she remarked.
"Maybe you'll like this better," he commented; his tone low and smooth as his hands roamed over her; his lips capturing hers in a searing kiss before breaking away to trail kisses down the column of her throat and against her collar bone and shoulder. A contented sigh escaped her lips; drawing his attention back to her mouth for another kiss.
She knew where this was going and while she didn't mind that in the slightest; she thought that maybe before they lost themselves in another round that they should talk first. When they broke their kiss; she gently pushed against his chest, and then moved away from him a small pace.
"What's wrong?" he asked; a feeling of panic rippling through him. Was she regretting it already? Had he hurt her somehow? He had done his best to be gentle with her. Or was it something else entirely?
"Nothing's wrong," she replied. "I just thought maybe we should talk."
"Didn't we do that last night?"
She smiled; "Yeah but that doesn't mean we can't talk some more, does it?"
There was a moment of worry but he squashed it. "No, what do you want to talk about?"
"Us," she replied quietly.
"I'm glad we're an 'us' again,' Jim remarked as he reached for her hand.
"Me too," Johanna answered. "But we're a different 'us' now, right?"
"I'd say so," he commented; considering that they were lying beneath her tangled sheets and their clothes were still littering the floor.
"I'm not talking about this," she said; gesturing to their location. "It's about more than this."
Of course it was; it was always about something else, he thought to himself. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that we aren't 'just friends' anymore, right? That we're..."
"Together?" he asked.
Johanna nodded. "Yeah...are we together now?"
"I was under the impression that we were," Jim answered. "I figured that was pretty clear when I told you that I love you."
Her fingers entwined with his. "I just wanted to be sure that we were on the same page…that I hadn't misconstrued anything."
"No, you haven't misconstrued anything…why would you think that?"
She shrugged a shoulder. "It's not really so much that I thought I did, it was more like I wanted to be sure…I never can tell what you might do sometimes."
"The same could be said for you," he replied. "Look at your date last night."
A smile stole across her lips. "Jealous?"
"Hardly," he scoffed.
"Like I'm really going to believe that now," she laughed.
"I wasn't jealous," he insisted. "I was merely questioning your taste and sanity."
"I was desperate."
"Clearly."
"Not in the way you're thinking," Johanna retorted.
He glanced away; knowing full well what she meant. He had put her in a position where she had to do something drastic to get his attention. "I'm sorry," he stated as he met her gaze.
"I know; we already talked about that. I'm not going to drag us through a rehash."
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Jim asked.
"No; there's something else."
"What?"
"You're sure you want this?" she asked. "I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you into a relationship that you don't really want."
He shook his head. "I want it, Johanna. I swear to you that I want this...I want you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. Are you having second thoughts?" he asked; wanting to be sure that her questioning of him wasn't stemming from her own feelings of doubt.
"No," she stated. "No second thoughts, no regrets...I want this more than anything…I just want to make sure it's what you want because I don't want you to think you're being forced to be with me."
"Jo, I don't feel forced into this," he assured. "I love you; I want to be with you. These last few weeks have driven me crazy because I couldn't be with you."
"I didn't like it either," she whispered.
"I know," he replied before capturing her lips in a kiss; "And I promise you that this is what I want. We're on the same page, same chapter, same book."
She laughed softly. "We better be in the same damn book."
"We are," he laughed. "Is everything okay now?"
"Yeah, everything's okay now, we have a clean slate," she said softly before drawing him in for a kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too," he said quietly; catching her lips in another kiss; his hands gently pulling her back towards him. She didn't hesitate and he took that to mean that the need for conversation was over for now and he returned to what he had started earlier. The phone rang and he dropped his forehead against hers. "There seems to be something about us and phones," he remarked.
Johanna laughed. "It does seem that way; doesn't it?"
"Is it your mother again?"
She shook her head. "No; she wouldn't call back so soon; I'm getting a Sharon vibe from that ring."
"Sharon?" Jim said with a grin. "Can I answer it?"
"You don't want to do that."
"Oh but I do," he replied. "I think it would be fun; especially after all the threats she's made against me lately."
Johanna slowly slid her hands along his back. "But I thought we had better things to do," she said suggestively; "Unless of course you think you'd have a better time answering the phone and tormenting Sharon or whoever else it could wind up being."
Jim shook his head. "You're way more fun."
A sassy smile lit up her features. "Then what are you wasting time for? I have to be at dinner at five; and it's nearly ten now...and you have to allow me time to get ready so technically; you can only have me all to yourself until four," she told him; her hands still seductively moving over him; slowly driving him crazy. "That only leaves us a few hours to take care of our business, Mr. Beckett," she remarked before stealing a heated kiss.
"And what business would that be, Miss McKenzie?" he asked between kisses.
"Well we do have a few weeks worth of arguments to make up from."
"That could take time," he agreed. "Anything else?"
His lips landed against that sensitive spot on her neck and she almost lost her train of thought. "Well we should probably celebrate this new step in our relationship."
"Agreed," he murmured against her skin. "Will that conclude our business?"
"Until the next time," she replied; a slight hitch in her breath.
"It's always a pleasure to do business with you, Miss McKenzie."
"Well I am known for my professionalism," she managed to quip; drawing a laugh from him.
"Well then we better get things moving," he replied. "I wouldn't want to blemish your record."
"It might be too late for that; I have a feeling you've already put a mark or two against me...or on me," she stated; tugging playfully at the hair at the nap of his neck.
"I'm not commenting on that; it might ruin the surprise," he stated before pausing his onslaught and catching her eye. "One more thing," he said.
"What?" she asked in confusion.
"You're going to stop seeing other men now; right?"
Amusement danced in her eyes. "I'll try to cut back."
Jim grinned and dragged his fingertips against her side; making her squirm. "Okay; no other men," she laughed.
"That's more like it," he said; picking up where he had left off.
She tugged at his hair once again. "One more thing; Melanie is off limits. If I catch you with her in an un-work related circumstance; I will hurt you. Same thing goes for Callie."
"Understood," he replied. "And now I'm calling this discussion closed; it's getting in our way of being professional."
"Then shut up and kiss me," Johanna told him.
He happily obliged; hoping that the afternoon would drag along nice and slowly as they lost themselves in each other.
Jim walked through the door of his parents house with minutes to spare before dinner. His mother was nowhere in sight as he moved into the living room but Angie came hurrying to his side. "Uncle Jim," she exclaimed happily. "We didn't think you were coming."
"I'm here, Sunshine," he replied as he swung her up in his arms and kissed her cheek. "How are you today?"
"Good," she replied as she pushed back a blonde curl from her face. "Do you know that school is almost over and then I don't have to go anymore?"
"I had a feeling they'd be letting you off for good behavior soon," he replied.
"And you have to go back in September," Natalie remarked from the sofa.
Angie sighed and sank into her uncle's hug. He couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he patted her back. "Mothers are always good for spoiling a mood, aren't they?"
Natalie shot him an amused smile. "She has to be informed."
"Don't worry, Sunshine, I'm sure you'll like first grade better than kindergarten," he told his niece. "You just remember all the things Miss Jo told you."
She nodded. "I still have my bravery stone."
"Good girl, you keep that in a safe place."
"How's Miss Jo?" Angie asked.
Jim smiled. "She's just fine; she's at her Mother's right now."
"She's eating dinner with her mommy?"
"That's right; she eats dinner with her mommy on Sundays," he answered as he felt a tug on his pant leg. "Up," Alicia demanded, holding her arms up to him. "Up!"
He smiled and scooped her up with his free arm. "I didn't forget you, Peanut," he told her as he kissed her soft cheek. "Where are your brothers?"
"Outside with Michael," Robert answered from his favorite chair.
"Why aren't you out there playing with them, Dad?"
"I am playing with them; we're playing hide and seek; they've been looking for me for a half hour."
Jim laughed. "That's a dirty trick, Dad; one I remember you playing on us…and you were in here reading the paper the whole time."
"Some tricks never lose their appeal," Robert said with a gleam in his eye. "Besides, I had already played ball with them. I have to give my girls there equal attention. We read a nice story together about a Princess."
Jim sat his nieces down and moved further into the room to take a seat on the sofa just as Michael came in, Mikey and Danny trailing behind him. "Grandpa!" Mikey shouted. "How did you get in here? We looked all over."
Robert grinned at him. "Magic, my boy."
"Dinner's ready," Elizabeth shouted from the kitchen. "You kids get your hands washed. Natalie, get in here and help me instead of loafing out there on my couch."
Natalie rolled her eyes and rose from the sofa as Michael steered the kids to the downstairs bathroom for hand and face washing.
"Jimmy," Robert said; stopping him before they could move to the dining room.
"Yeah?"
"You're looking happier today; it's nice to see."
He smiled. "I am happier."
His father eyed him knowingly. "I notice that you knew Johanna's whereabouts when Angie questioned you."
He nodded. "I dropped her off at her mother's."
"So where are we in the scheme of things, son? I take it you're back on her good side?"
"Yes, thank God."
"How did you accomplish that feat?"
Jim took a breath and expelled it. "I told her that I love her."
His father smiled. "It's about damn time."
"Yeah, I know."
"Do you feel better now that you said it to her?"
He smiled. "Yeah, I do…and she said she loves me too."
"Of course she does," Robert said with a kind laugh. "I told you she did; she was just waiting until it was okay to tell you. Are things settled now? Have you made that change she wanted?"
"Yes, Dad; we're together…and despite knowing that, I still feel bad about the last few weeks. I mean I apologized of course, but I still feel bad."
"Well, you know what to do; I taught you how to properly apologize to a woman."
"I should take her a rose?"
"It can't hurt; she's obviously already forgiven you if you're now in a real relationship; but if you really want to make sure things are smoothed over, take her the rose and say it again."
"I think I will," Jim said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I really want everything to be good; you know…not that everything hasn't been good today because it has been…I guess I just need to make sure she knows how sorry I am that I put her through this."
Robert smiled and patted him on the back. "Now you're being a man worthy of the love a woman has for you; and she picked a damn good one. You do what feels right and she'll let you know again that she forgives you. It'll work out just fine, Jimmy; I'm sure of it. Every one's a little shaky going in, it always feels fragile when it's brand new, but you and Johanna have something real and strong. It'll work."
"Thanks, Dad."
"No problem, son; you know I'm always here for you. I'm happy for you; you picked a good woman, you hang on to her."
"I intend to," he smiled. "Can you do me a favor though?"
"Sure, just name it."
"Don't mention it to Mom right now; I'm happy and she'll have to ruin it by raining on my parade and that isn't on my agenda today."
Robert laughed. "It'll be our little secret until you're ready to tell her."
"Thank you."
"Robert! Jimmy!" Elizabeth bellowed from the dining room. "Dinner is on the table and if you want to eat, you better quit dawdling and get in here now!"
"The mistress of the house has spoken," Robert declared.
Jim nodded. "I guess we better get it over with."
"I guess so; but just think, you've faced harder things and came out a happy man today."
He smiled; he was happy…how could he be anything but happy knowing that Johanna was his and his alone?
Naomi subtly observed Johanna as she stood next to her at the kitchen sink and dried the dishes that evening. Her daughter had been in much better spirits during the meal than she had been in previous weeks. The anguish of heartache was no longer written across her features and there was a sparkle back in her green eyes. She had participated fully in the conversations at the dinner table, had taken her brother's teasing as the light hearted jibes they were and before they had all sat down for the meal she had spent her time playing with Greg and cuddling him. It was quite a change from the forlorn girl she had been just days before when she had visited her. She wasn't the only who had noticed the change, Frank had shot her a questioning glance from his end of the table as Johanna and Valerie had chatted about a new boutique that had opened that they were both hoping to pay a visit to.
Dinner hadn't been the right time for questions though, Naomi had surmised but now that it was just the two of them in the kitchen while Frank and Frankie were occupied in the living room and Valerie was cleaning up Greg in the bathroom, the time appeared to present itself. "You seem to be in better spirits today, dear," Naomi said casually.
Johanna smiled. "Yeah, I guess I am."
Naomi caught her eye and held contact as she spoke. "Does this mean that your troubles have been resolved?"
Her daughter's smile widened. "Yes; they've been resolved."
"Oh?" her mother said with a raised brow. "May I ask how that came about?"
"I took your advice," Johanna replied. "I went out with the right person."
Naomi grinned. "That was all it took, huh?"
"Yeah, you were right, Mama; he just had to be the right kind of mad."
She gave a soft laugh and wiped her hands on a dish towel before pulling her daughter into her arms for a hug. "I told you so, Bambina. Mama always knows best."
"At least this time," Johanna teased as she hugged her tightly.
"Always," Naomi quipped as she released her from the hug but she kept hold of her arms as she looked into her face. "Just to be clear, Jim's told you that he loves you?"
"Yes," she said somewhat shyly.
"See, I knew he did…and you told him your feelings as well?"
Johanna nodded. "Of course I did."
"So there's now an official relationship?"
She smiled brightly. "Yeah; we're together now."
Naomi's eyes sparkled with love and happiness for her child. "How does it feel?"
"Wonderful," she replied with a laugh. "And a little…"
"A little scary because it's new?" her mother supplied.
"Yeah; but I'm not going to let it get in the way of anything…we've spent a lot of time being afraid of it and now we're ready to give it a try so I'm doing my best to push the jitters away."
"It'll be just fine," Naomi assured. "It's natural to feel a little nervous about it when it's still brand new but it'll be fine, you'll see."
Johanna nodded. "He showed up just when I was sure it was all over. I thought the plan had failed…but he was waiting for me when I got home."
Her mother caressed her face. "They always take their time about things, but I knew he wouldn't let you get away, darling. He seems smart enough to know when he's got something special, even if he is foolish about it at first."
She laughed softly. "You might be a little biased though since you're my mother."
"I'm completely biased," Naomi proclaimed with a grin. "I think you're the best thing he could ever hope to find. You're my little girl, no one compares to you."
Johanna wrapped her mother in another hug. "Thank you, Mama…for everything."
"Always, baby; I love you and I'm so happy for you."
"Me hug!" a small voice shouted as its owner wrapped himself around their legs.
Johanna and Naomi laughed as they looked down at Greg who had a small arm around each of their legs. "What are you doing, little man?" Johanna asked as she scooped him up in her arms.
"Hug Anna," he answered as he wrapped his arms around her neck.
"Greg, did you interrupt Grandma and Aunt Jo?" Valerie asked as she entered the kitchen.
"Hugging Anna," he replied.
"I think she was hugging Grandma first," Valerie said as she moved toward the group.
"It's alright," Naomi replied as she pressed a kiss to her grandson's cheek. "I don't mind sharing."
Valerie eyed them. "What is with all the hugging? Did I miss important news?"
"I was just congratulating Johanna," Naomi remarked. "She and her young man have decided to promote the status of their relationship."
Valerie grinned as she looked at her sister-in-law. "You finally got him reeled in!"
Johanna laughed. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"It's about time; and of course I'm happy for you."
"Thanks, Val."
"Just one question," he sister-in-law said.
"What's that?"
"Who's going to break the news to him that he has tougher competition now?" Valerie asked with a nod at her son.
"My little man doesn't have to worry," Johanna said as she kissed her nephew. "He'll always own a piece of my heart."
Valerie gave a mischievous smile. "That might be true; but I'd like further detail about this new development in your love life at your earliest convenience…because I'm sure you're not giving all the details at this moment."
She laughed as Valerie's comment translated into 'not in front of your mother' in her brain. "I'm sure I'll find time to stop by for a visit one day soon."
"You do that," her sister-in-law quipped with a wink.
"If you two think I don't know what further details are, you're severely out of touch," Naomi remarked as her grandson found his way into her arms.
"We don't usually discuss those details with you, Naomi; unless there's whiskey on the table," Valerie teased.
"Oh hush," the older woman retorted; a blush creeping across her cheeks. "I didn't say I wanted to discuss further details; I just said I knew what they are. All I need to know is that my daughter is happy, because I know she hasn't been for the last few weeks."
"I'm happy, Mama," she answered. "Very happy."
"Then that's all that matters," Naomi proclaimed. "Now let's finish getting this kitchen back in order."
As Johanna walked down the hallway toward her apartment, she smiled as she caught sight of Jim waiting at her door. "Déjà vu," she quipped as she neared him.
Jim gave her a grin. "It's better this time."
"I can't argue with that," she replied; her hand reaching out and brushing against his chest as she stopped in front of him. "What brings you back so soon?"
"I missed you; among other reasons," he replied lightly in response to the teasing glint in her eyes.
"I missed you too," Johanna said with a shy smile before unlocked the door and let them in. "You didn't have to wait in the hallway though; you have a key."
"I know…but I didn't want to assume that I could start using it so quickly."
"Why couldn't you?"
Jim shrugged as she toed off her shoes and laid her purse and keys on the stand. "I guess I just wanted to make sure it was okay first. I know I've used it before but…in light of recent circumstances, I thought I better get the green light from you on that."
She smiled. "You have my permission to use your key anytime you want."
His lips curved upwards and he held out the red rose he had been keeping concealed from her.
"What's this for?" she asked as she accepted it.
"Because I always give you a rose when we make up from a fight."
Johanna brushed her fingers against his chin as she kissed him. "Thank you."
Jim captured her hand and held it. "It's also so you know just how sorry I am for the last few weeks. I know it probably sounds silly to keep saying after the way we spent last night and today but I just need to know that you know how sorry I am and that you really do forgive me."
She looped her arms around his neck and captured his mouth in a tender kiss. "If I didn't forgive you, I wouldn't have let you spend the night. I forgave you as soon as you told me that you loved me. We have a clean slate, remember?"
He nodded and sealed their agreement with a soft kiss. "Did you put my key back on your key ring?" he asked.
"Yes; it's on there."
"Good; because I want you to use it anytime you want," he told her as his fingers rubbed against her back as he kept her in the circle of his arms. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"Where are the seashells?" he asked with a nod at her bookcase. The photo of them together had remained in it's spot ever since he had set it back up when he brought back her belongings but the seashells were still missing.
Johanna gave him a small sad smile. "I put them away."
"Why?"
She hesitated for a moment; her fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Because it was hard to see them one night…I was missing you and I felt like everything in the world was wrong. I looked over there and saw them and started thinking about that summer and it just made me cry so I put them away. But now that things are better, I can put them back."
"I wish you would."
"I didn't know they meant so much to you."
"They're a part of us," Jim answered. "That was the best summer of my life."
"Mine too," Johanna whispered. "It felt like a turning point between us in some ways."
He nodded in agreement. "So you'll put them back soon?"
She gave a soft laugh and pulled away from him. "Hold my rose."
He did as she asked and she went to the closet and pushed things out of the way so that she could reach the old trunk that she kept her mementos and treasures in. She managed to open the lid without dragging it from the closet and she took out the wrapped seashells and set them on the floor until she righted the closet. When she finished, she unwrapped them and carried them to the bookcase and put them back in the places they belonged. "Better?" she asked.
Jim smiled. "Much better."
Johanna returned to his side and took back her rose. "I want to put this water."
He followed her to the kitchen and watched as she put her rose in a small vase and sat it on the table. "How's your mother?" he asked.
"She's fine; how's your lovely mother?" she asked with a small smile.
He laughed. "She's being herself as usual. I haven't shared our news with her; I'm saving that for a special occasion."
"She'll probably have a stroke when you tell her."
"I'll make sure the phone is within reach," he replied. "Did you tell your mother?"
"Yes…is that okay?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
She shrugged. "Just thought I'd ask."
"It's fine…I told my Dad."
A small smile touched her lips. "What did he say?"
"He said it was about damn time."
"That sounds like him," she giggled. "Do you want a drink?"
"Sure," he replied; hoping their small talk didn't feel as odd to her as it did to him. After all, it was their standard Sunday evening conversation after they had dinner with their parents. It was different though…but he hadn't figured out why yet.
Johanna poured two glasses of wine and handed him one. "How was dinner?" he asked.
"It was good; Mom made ham because that's what Dad wanted so he seemed largely content. There was no fighting, no drama and no one threw anything."
He laughed. "Does that happen often?"
"There's been the occasional roll throwing incident on the holidays," Johanna admitted; before taking a sip of wine.
"We've had a few of those moments in my family too," he remarked. "Was your sister there?"
"No; she was dining with the Weston's," she said with dramatic flair.
"I wonder if they had pheasant," Jim replied, sending her into a fit of giggles.
"Frankie still gags every time someone mentions that meal."
"I don't blame him. Was he there tonight?"
"Yeah; him and Val and Greg."
"Did you sufficiently cuddle him?"
Johanna smiled. "I believe so. I swear he knows ten more words every time I see him."
He smiled. "Alicia's favorite word is 'up'. She still likes to be held. I notice though that she doesn't babble or talk as much at Mom's."
"Maybe she's shy…or she's intimidated by your mother."
Jim laughed. "That could be."
It grew quiet for a long minute. "How were things at your mother's?" she asked.
"They were fine. Angie asked about you."
"That was sweet of her."
"She always asks about you."
Johanna eyed him as he took a sip of his drink. "Does this feel weird to you?" she asked.
"A little," he replied with a smile. "I guess we kind of got out of our usual habits."
"It's not a bad omen, is it?"
Jim shook his head. "No, sweetheart; we're just being careful."
She brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and sat her glass on the table. "You said you had reasons for coming back," she said softly. "You missed me, and to give me my rose…did you have any others?"
He smiled and moved closer; his hands slipping around her waist. "I wanted to kiss you goodnight."
"It's kind of early to say goodnight," she replied as her arms wound around him. "It's barely eight thirty."
"I didn't say we had to say goodnight right now," he commented lightly.
A smile slowly curved her lips upwards; she had a feeling she knew another reason for his return. "I suppose we could find something to do until it would be a more appropriate time to say goodnight."
"Great minds think alike," he quipped. "I was sure we'd think of something to fill the time."
She couldn't help but tease him a little. "Do you want to watch TV?"
"I'm sure we could think of something better than that."
"You want to play cards?"
Jim laughed. "Maybe some other time."
"Surely you don't want to read," she teased; her hands moving over his back.
"Definitely not," he answered as he dipped his head and brushed his lips against her neck.
"Then what do you suggest?"
"I was thinking of something that might ease that weirdness we mentioned earlier…something that might ease whatever's lingering from the last few weeks."
"And what does your method involve?" she asked coyly.
Jim kissed her passionately and then swept her up in his arms. "It's something that's better demonstrated than explained, if that's okay with you?"
Johanna laughed. "It's completely okay with me."
"Good," he remarked as he moved through the apartment with her. "You'll find that time passes quickly with my method."
Her fingers trailed along his jaw seductively, her lips capturing his as he entered her bedroom. "But I like to take it slow," she murmured. "I like to savor."
Jim set her on her feet but didn't let her get away from his grasp. "Whatever you like, sweetheart," he said huskily before kissing her. "Whatever your heart desires."
"Just you," she whispered between kisses. "Only you."
This was nice, Jim mused as he laid in Johanna's bed, his arm wrapped around her as she laid against his chest. In fact it was beyond nice, he corrected; his fingertips drawing circles against the bare skin of her shoulder. It was so much better than the miserable month he had been having. He brushed a kiss against her hair and sighed contently. He was glad that he had given in to the need to come back tonight.
"I guess you weren't lying," Johanna murmured; her soft voice breaking the silence as her fingers moved against his chest.
"About what?"
She angled her head to look at him, a playful smile on her lips. "About the amount of mood you had."
Jim chuckled quietly. "I'd never lie about that, sweetheart; but I think I'll borrow a page from your book and say I told you so."
Johanna laughed softly and brushed her lips against the underside of his jaw. "I'll allow that copyright infringement since you lived up to your word."
"You are generous like that," he teased.
"Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"How did you get this scar?" she asked; her fingertip tracing the small white mark on his left shoulder.
"Wayward dart," he answered.
Her head lifted and her gaze met his. "What?"
"A dart," he replied again. "My brothers and I were playing darts one day; I was about nine. William threw that one and I still say he aimed for me deliberately; it stuck me in the shoulder."
Johanna grimaced. "You would've thought your shirt would've deflected it."
"It was summertime, we had our shirts off…and we were known to sharpen our darts because we weren't satisfied with how they came."
"Boys," she muttered with a shake of her head. "What happened with your brother? Why do you feel like he threw it at you on purpose?"
"He said it was an accident but I know he was mad because I hit a bullseye and he didn't. He's under the impression that because he's older, he should do everything better than those of us who are younger…and when that doesn't work out, he gets pissed. He's got a scar from that day too; I threw the dart back at him and got him in the upper arm. We were never good at letting wounds heal on their own; we were always picking at them because they'd start to itch, that's why there's a scar. Really it was a minor injury, but you know how it goes."
"Did you get in trouble?"
Jim nodded. "Sure did."
She sighed. "I really don't know how you made it through your childhood. I mean I remember Frankie getting plenty of little injuries but I think you and your brothers have him beat."
"That's because Frankie grew up with two sisters instead of three brothers," he laughed.
She smiled. "If he had been offered a trade; he would've taken the three brothers and tossed us to the curb."
"Don't take it personally," Jim commented lightly. "My brothers and I love Madelyn but we would've traded her for another brother…especially when she got out of her cute phase and got into the eleven to teenager period."
"That bad was it?' she asked.
"It was bad enough. I couldn't wait to leave for college."
An amused smile lingered on her lips as she shifted to lay on her own pillow. "Something wrong?" Jim asked; hating the loss of contact. He liked being her pillow…liked feeling her skin pressed warmly against his.
"No," she answered as she turned on her side to face him. "It's just easier to see your face this way."
"But then I miss holding you," he murmured as he shifted to mirror her position.
Johanna scooted closer to him and then reached for his arm and drew it across her waist. "Problem solved."
He laughed quietly as he shifted even closer and caught her lips in a kiss. "You just think you're something, don't you?" he teased.
A grin spread across her lips. "Don't you?"
"In every way possible," he answered; a suggestive note in his tone as his hand moved against the sheet covering her hip. He was tempted to pull it away but he settled for their contact beneath it.
She gave him a smile as she stole a quick kiss but then she turned serious once more. "You're still okay with this?" she asked softly; hating that little self doubt that sprung up even if it was a normal thought to have.
"More than okay," he remarked; his mouth brushing hers.
"I mean about everything, not just this."
"I'm sure, sweetheart. No regrets. You're what I want…and I'm going to do my best for you."
"You always give me your best, Jim…except when you're mad at me."
He gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm going to make it up to you."
"You already have," Johanna murmured. "You're here…that's all I need."
Jim kissed her tenderly. "I'm just glad that you let me come back."
"I never wanted to let you go in the first place."
I know," he said quietly as he found her hand and curled his fingers around hers. "There was never a question of wanting to be here with you, Jo…it was just thinking about the change. I guess my father's right and I am kind of like my mother in that way…we get set our ways and we hate to change them; not because we don't want to, but because we get comfortable."
"I understand that; I was comfortable too…and I take my share of the blame for how comfortable you got because it played into your reluctance. I was never blaming it all on you, Jim. I knew my share of it. I was content for a long time too…I had to get past my own issues or at least get to a place where I was ready to let them go and I got there because of you."
"Because of me?"
She nodded; her hand slipping away from his to caress his face. "You treated me in a way no other man ever has; you made me feel things…you snuck around my defenses and I didn't even realize it until it was far too late. You've been here for me in every way possible; you let me believe in my silly fairy tales…you gave me hope and made me see how good it could be; I fell in love…and didn't realize it, again, until it was far too late to try and stop myself; but it didn't matter because I didn't want to stop. I love you, and it was enough to make me want to take the risk despite anything that happened long ago…I just want to give you all of that love, because holding it back like I've been doing the last few months hasn't been easy. I just want to give it all to you…I wanted to be able to say it…but I was afraid that you might not want me…and when it seemed like you didn't," she whispered, her voice trailing off.
Jim shook his head. "There wasn't a moment through this when I didn't love you, Johanna. I can't tell you the moment I started to love you because like you said, it happened without me realizing it and when I did, it was too late to stop it; not that I wanted to. But I want you to believe me, I have loved you for a long time…and I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want you because nothing could be further from the truth. You're all I want. I'm sorry that I hurt you; that I made you wait, that I made you take such drastic measures in order to gain the things you're entitled to. I don't want you to doubt for a moment that I want this; because I do. I don't want you to doubt that I love you, because I love you more than you can imagine. I'm going to do everything I can to make you feel loved and happy; to know that you're the one I want. I don't want you to have any doubts."
"It's not really that I have any doubts," she whispered. "I know you wouldn't lie about things like this; it's just…"
"It's new."
"Yeah…and I'm still nervous," she said with a small embarrassed laugh.
A smile spread across his lips. "You didn't seem nervous earlier."
Johanna gave his chest a gentle swat. "You're incorrigible…especially now."
He laughed. "You should've seen that coming."
"You're probably right about that…but that wasn't exactly the nerves I meant."
"I know what you meant," he replied as he wrapped his arm around her snuggly. "I'm still nervous about it too in little ways. I guess we just have to settle in and then it'll go away."
She nodded. "I know…I guess the bright side is that we're in it together."
He caught her lips in a passionate kiss. "We're definitely in it together; every step of the way. Same book, remember?"
Johanna laughed. "I remember; same book, same chapter, same page…clean slate."
"That's right," he murmured; and he figured it was his turn to offer assurance as she had to him the night before. "We'll be alright."
"I know," she said with a nod before kissing him.
Another sigh of contentment slipped from his lips as she nestled against him, her arm wrapping around him tightly as she tucked her head beneath his chin. His heart swelled with love as he tightened his hold on her. He didn't ever want to let her go; and he was so damn thankful that she had taken him back. He wished they could just stay in the warm cocoon of her bedroom for a few days, lying together beneath tangled sheets, talking, making love, saying nothing, just being…but they'd have to drag themselves back to work in the morning and the thought made a disgruntled breath cross his lips.
"What's on your mind, honey?" Johanna asked.
"I was just thinking that I wish we didn't have to go to work tomorrow…I wish we could stay here."
"Me too," she murmured; and she had a feeling she knew what was coming next so she decided to bite the bullet. "Do you have to go now?"
"Go?"
"I thought maybe you weren't staying because of work in the morning."
He gave a shake of his head. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I wouldn't be mad at you; I'd understand," she assured. After all, he didn't have anything there to wear to work, which meant he'd have to get up earlier than usual to go home and get ready.
"Do you want me to go?"
"No! Of course not…I just didn't want you to worry that I'd be mad if you wanted to."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said once again. "I'll just get up early in the morning and go home and get ready and then I'll swing back and pick you up for work."
"You sure?"
"Positive; but you might want to set the alarm for me, just in case."
Johanna tore herself away from him and fiddled with the clock on the nightstand, setting the alarm to wake them early enough for him to get home. She then moved back into his arms. "I'm not sleepy yet," she murmured.
"I'm not surprised; it's not even eleven-thirty yet…and besides, who said we had to go to sleep?"
"No one," she laughed. "But I thought if you were thinking about work in the morning, you might want me to shut up so you can go to sleep."
"No," he chuckled. "If I wanted you to do that, I'd just say so."
She raised her head; amusement gleaming in her eyes. "You might get to sleep by an alternative method if you did that."
His laughter filled the darkness around them. "Yeah; that's what I thought."
"I feel like we haven't really gotten caught up yet," she told him.
Jim's hand moved along her side. "I think we've gotten a good start."
"Yeah; but we haven't really talked in weeks…and we usually talk a lot."
"Oh," he replied; his tone telling her that he had been on a different track completely.
Johanna laughed as she looked at him. "What, you thought I meant caught up on all the sex we should've been having?"
Jim shrugged; a mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. "Well we have missed out on some opportunities…I mean if we backtrack to last summer when we really started skirting that line, that's a lot of time to make up for."
She rolled her eyes but an amused smile dampened the gesture. "You mean after last night, this morning and now tonight, you feel we're still behind in that area?"
"Just a little, but don't worry, I'll get us caught up."
"I don't doubt that," she said with a soft laugh; "But I was pretty sure we were caught up; this is the most time I've spent in bed within a twenty-four hour period without the benefit of illness."
He grinned. "Really?"
"Yes."
"I've kept you in bed longer than anyone else?"
"That's what I'm saying," she replied with a nod.
"I do love to be number one," he gloated.
"You're number one, honey," she said, giving his chest a gentle pat.
"I'm so proud."
"I figured you would be."
"You know what could make it even better?" he asked.
"If I can work in you're number one during the next go around?"
His grin widened. "Yeah; that would be good."
"Nothing like asking for your ego to be stroked," she laughed.
"When you've got it, you got it," he teased.
Johanna laid her head against his chest. "Why do I feel like I might've created a monster?"
Jim threaded his fingers through her dark hair. "Hey; it's not like I wasn't going to make it mutual. I really don't know how you could've ever thought that you might disappoint me; I'm so far from disappointed. It's been incredible."
A blush spread across her cheeks and she was he couldn't see it. "I'm glad I didn't disappoint you…I'm afraid to ask if it lived up to your fantasies despite your favorable reviews."
"Surpassed," he proclaimed. "I'm going to have to think up new ones for you to take on."
"Should I be worried?"
"Not at all; you'll love every minute of it."
"I'm still not dressing up as a nurse for you, so if that's one of them, you just forget it."
Jim laughed quietly. "No need for costumes; I like you best as yourself."
"You better."
"I do…I just can't resist the urge to tease you."
"I've noticed," she remarked with a suggestive lilt in her tone.
His lips brushed against her hair. "You told me you liked it slow," he murmured; "And don't go acting like you didn't inflict your own brand of torment this morning."
Johanna laughed smugly. "You deserved it."
"For future reference, I prefer that kind of punishment."
"I'll make a note of it, but getting back to my point; we haven't really talked much, you know, about the usual stuff we talk about."
"We'll catch up, sweetheart; I promise. Do I still have to be penciled into your schedule to discuss that case we have to work on together?"
"During business hours, yes; you know that…but I will be nicer about it now."
He smiled. "And open to discussing it outside of work when the occasion calls for it?"
"Of course…and I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was being unprofessional."
Jim shook his head. "You don't have to be sorry, I get it; and you were right, that issue didn't need pushed at the time, we have time for all that…it was just the only excuse I had to get past Sharon and into your office."
"I know; it's okay, that's all behind us now."
"I'm so glad," he breathed as his arm tightened around her.
"Me too," she whispered. "All I wanted was for it to be over…for us to be here like this. I just wanted us to be happy again."
"I'm happy," he assured her. "But I'll be happier when I get that goodnight kiss."
Johanna smiled and lifted her head so that he could capture her lips in a long, slow kiss. "I love you," she whispered when it was over; feeling like she could never tire of uttering those words to him.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
She cuddled up to him once more and he tucked the covers around her, knowing that she was settling down to sleep. "Sweet dreams," he murmured.
"You too."
Jim nuzzled her hair; the reality at the moment was sweet enough, he couldn't imagine his dreams could be any better.
Johanna smiled as Jim entered the break room on Monday morning. "We meet again," she quipped. He had driven her to work and they had parted a mere twenty minutes before.
Jim grinned as he moved toward her. "I just can't stay away."
A blush touched her cheeks as she laughed softly. "I'm glad."
It grew quiet between them as they fixed their coffee. Everything still felt so new and they each kept bouncing between being cautious and the giddiness of their new status. There was also that small amount of awkwardness that came from being outside of the bubble that they had been in when they were locked away in her bedroom Saturday night and the majority of Sunday. Jim smiled to himself as he recalled the night before.
"How's your schedule look today?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"It's lighter this week than last week," she replied. "I don't have to be in court until Wednesday; today and tomorrow I have a few appointments sprinkled through the day. What about you?"
"I have to be in court at one," he answered. "But I have plenty of time for lunch…if you'd like to go with me."
She reached for his hand and entwined her fingers with his. "I'd love to; what time?"
"How does 11:30 work for you?"
"That works just fine."
"Good," he remarked; pulling her into his arms for a kiss.
Jeff walked into the break room and caught sight of them. He stared for a moment, sizing up the situation. He didn't detect any resistance…no sign that Johanna was going to break free from the kiss and slap Jim's face for him. It all looked mutual. He moved back to the doorway. "The feud is over!" he announced loudly. "Peace has been restored to the valley!" He then turned back to the room and looked upwards. "Thank you, Lord; I knew you'd come through for me."
"Do you mind?" Jim asked as he kept Johanna locked in his arms.
"I don't mind at all," Jeff replied with a grin. "I guess this is why no one could get a hold of either one of you yesterday."
Johanna gave Jim an amused smile. "Isn't that sweet, he missed you."
Jim laughed. "Well I didn't miss him; and he didn't need to worry, I was in good hands."
She felt her face warm at the suggestive remark. "Don't brag."
"He doesn't have to," Jeff remarked. "His face is doing all the bragging for him."
"Tone down your face," Johanna told Jim.
"I can't," he replied. "It's one of those things that has to ease off on it's on."
"When we couldn't reach either one of you, I started to worry that Jim had followed through on his plot to put you in the trunk and kidnap you," Jeff commented.
She regarded Jim with a raised brow. "You were going to put me in the trunk and kidnap me?"
"I was angry," he replied; "And it was just a passing thought…I was going to take you to the cabin; you would've been comfortable…as for the trunk, I was going to punch air holes in it for you."
She smiled. "You'd punch holes in Renee for me?"
"Well I wouldn't do it for Jeff," he remarked. "But I love you enough to do it for you."
"That's sweet."
"Nothing says love like punching holes in a Camaro," Jeff quipped and then it dawned on him what his friend had said. "Holy hell, Jim said the 'L' word in public and in front of Sassy! The world has just shifted on its axis…I feel like the office should close and declare this as a holiday."
"I could go for that," Jim replied.
"Me too," Johanna added. "I'd be more than happy to go home."
"I'll go with you," Jim told her.
"You two are going to be a mixture of cute and disgusting during your honeymoon phase," Jeff remarked with a grin.
"Kind of like you and Maggie," his best friend retorted.
"Hey, you couldn't ask for two better role models."
Johanna shook her head at him and pressed a kiss to Jim's cheek. "I have to get back to my office. I'll see you later."
"I'll see you later, sweetheart."
She gave a wave to Jeff and left the room. Jeff moved across the room to stand next to his friend so that he could fix his coffee. "Congratulations on getting your head out of your ass."
Jim smirked. "Thanks."
"I was starting to think that it was either permanently stuck or that we were going to have to call in a specialist."
"Well that's all over now," he replied.
"It wasn't so bad making that change, was it?" Jeff asked.
He shook his head. "No; so far so good."
"See, I told you; you give her what she wants, she gives you what you want and everyone is happy…especially me; because you two were giving me an ulcer and I'm sending you the bill for my Rolaids."
Jim laughed. "It was pretty bad so I might pay that bill as a thank you for not disowning me."
"Hey, that's what brothers are for, regardless of the lack of blood relation. Now that we got you two back on the right track and bumped up that extra notch, when is the first official date?"
Jim glanced at him. "What?"
"The date," Jeff said once again. "You know…you have to date her now."
"I'm taking her to lunch today."
"That doesn't count!"
"Why not?"
"Because it doesn't; lunch is a subtle thank you for sleeping with me over the weekend; a relationship upgrade means dinner."
He sighed. "Can't you let me enjoy the moment?"
"Apparently not; I mean it looks like I have to write you a script here. You need to make plans; you just got out of trouble…try to stay out for awhile."
Jim raked a hand through his hair. "I can't believe I didn't think about making plans for dinner this week."
"It's alright," Jeff told him. "You've been in a bubble and now you're in that post-sex haze; she's got a glow and you're more relaxed than you have been in months at least. Date plans can be your lunch conversation."
"That's true," he replied. "I have to admit though, making date plans isn't always my favorite thing to do."
"Mine neither," his friend replied. "But I find it's less painful if you just think about what's likely to occur once it's over."
Jim smiled. "I can do that."
"I'm sure you can," Jeff laughed. "But I'm glad you two finally worked it out."
"Me too," he said sincerely. "I'm going to do my best not to blow it."
Jeff grinned. "We'd all appreciate that."
Jim laughed. "I don't doubt that at all."
Sharon was running late that morning, but she knew the schedule and knew that she had plenty of time to storm into Johanna's office before tending to her morning duties at her own desk. "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded to know as Johanna looked up at her. "I've been trying to get you on the phone since yesterday morning. I was starting to worry about you!"
"I was busy," Johanna replied.
"Too busy to answer the damn phone?"
"Yes."
Sharon eyed her. "What were you doing?"
Johanna smiled but said nothing. "Oh my God," Sharon said as she continued to study her. "Who the hell did you let in your bed? Please tell me it wasn't the octopus; because I don't think I can take that kind of news on a Monday morning."
"It wasn't Charles."
"Thank God; now who was it?"
Johanna laughed. "You mean you don't want to take a second guess?"
"So just to be clear; you're admitting that there was a man in your bed?"
"Yes."
"Was it Jim?" she asked; her eyes sparkling with the excitement of new gossip.
Johanna smiled and Sharon clapped her hands in glee as she dropped into the chair across from the desk. "Tell me everything!"
"I can't tell you everything right now," Johanna said with a laugh.
"Lunch," the secretary remarked.
"I'm having lunch with Jim…sorry."
Sharon shook her head. "No, don't be sorry; I want you to have a happy lunch date. I'll get the full details later…just tell me two things; did he tell you that he loves you, and are you an official couple now?"
"Yes and yes," she replied; the smile clinging to her lips.
"I'm so happy for you," Sharon said as she got up and rounded the desk to hug her friend. "I told you everything would work out."
Johanna hugged her friend tightly. "I'll try never to doubt you again."
"Good; because I'm always right about these things…but seriously; I'm glad you got what you wanted, I want you to be happy."
"I am happy, so very happy," she replied as her friend stepped back. Her new relationship with Jim was in it's infancy but it filled her with hope. She couldn't wait to see what came next.
A/N: First Official date is next!