Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews. I'm sorry for the long wait, between real life being busier than usual and a touch of writer's block, things have been hectic and slow moving. I know at the end of the last chapter I said this one would be the vacation chapter but after a friend suggested that I change focus, I decided on this chapter instead and will work on straightening out the vacation for the next one. Thanks for your patience.
Chapter 49- Stand By Your Man
Johanna took a long sip of her cold Coke as she sat in the booth of a diner that was near her office. A sandwich and fries were on the plate in front of her but she found herself only nibbling at them as her mind felt bogged down.
"What's wrong, Jo?" Maggie asked from her place across the table from her. "You seem worried today."
"I am."
"About what?"
"Jim," she answered.
"What's going on? Did you two fight?"
"No; he's just not himself the last few days and I don't know what's wrong. He won't talk to me about it…and I don't know if it's me or if it's something entirely different."
"Why would you think it's you?" Maggie asked.
She shrugged as she picked up a fry and dipped it into the glob of ketchup on her plate. "I don't know; I guess I feel like if it wasn't me he'd tell me what it is, but that could just be me being paranoid."
"Could be," her friend agreed. "What's he been doing?"
"He's just not himself. He's quiet…and he feels distant. He usually stays with me on Wednesdays and he didn't last week; he hasn't really been around much. We went out to dinner Friday night and it felt like I was talking to myself most of the time because he wasn't really participating or listening. After dinner we went out for drinks and it was the same thing; he wasn't really there with me. We didn't talk much, we didn't dance…we each had a drink and went home."
"I'm assuming you asked him what was wrong," Maggie said.
She nodded. "Yeah, I asked but he said it was nothing…but it's definitely something. I've been staying with him on the weekends so we went back to his place on Friday night and…"
"And?"
"And nothing happened," Johanna replied. "He kissed me goodnight and that was it."
Maggie's brow rose. "That was it?"
"Yeah…and while I know that I recently told him that we there are times when we're going to just sleep, it's kind of odd that he didn't try anything. I mean even when guys don't really care one way or another if it happens or not on a certain night they usually go through the show of testing the waters, so to speak."
"True," Maggie agreed. "There's usually at least a comment on date night. Anything else happen?"
"Well you know that we spent most of Saturday in dress shopping hell with Sharon and helping with other wedding plans and he didn't even care that I wasn't around…and I hate how that sounds because I don't mean it the way it sounds."
Her friend laughed. "I'm not calling you a liar but how do you mean it?"
Johanna smiled sheepishly, hating her poor choice of words. "I mean it in the way that usually he'll tease me about abandoning him. It's not that he has anything against me going out with my friends and I don't have anything against him spending time with his but there's usually some little 'oh you're abandoning me' type of joke or there's flirting and kisses that's supposed to make me want to stay; but there wasn't this time; that's what I meant."
"I get it," Maggie replied. "He didn't react the way he usually does."
"Yeah; and when I got back he didn't ask me anything and he usually does. I tried to ask him what he did and he never did really answer that. I tried again to ask him what's going on with him because he's not acting like himself. He said he was tired and stressed from work. I get that and I'm not saying he's lying and that it isn't a part of it, but I feel like it's something deeper. I've seen him stressed and tired before and this beyond it. I thought maybe I could help him unwind, I suggested that we go to a movie and stop somewhere for a quick dinner. He said no, he didn't feel like it. I told him I'd cook him anything he wanted and we could have drinks and just lay on the couch and watch TV."
"What did he say to that?"
"He said no."
"Ouch," her friend remarked. "Rebuffed twice in the span of two sentences."
"I know," Johanna replied; "It's so unlike him…especially when I offer to cook anything he wants. I tried again to get him to tell me what was wrong; he then accused me of nagging him and told me that maybe I should go on home because he had work to do and he thought it would be best if he was alone."
"He sent you home?" Maggie asked, her eyes wide with surprise.
She nodded. "He sure did…and if I thought it was just that he wanted some space to do his work without me distracting him, I wouldn't be bothered because I've sent him on his way a time or two when I really needed to focus but something just feels off here. He usually calls me on Sunday nights after I get home from my mother's and he didn't call. I tried to call him and he didn't answer."
"That does seem a little suspicious...but didn't he drive you to work yesterday morning?"
"Yeah, he picked me up and drove me to work…he barely said anything in the car though. He kissed me in the break room and told me to have a good day and then I didn't see him after that until he showed up in my office at the end of the day to drive me home."
"Did he act any better then?"
"No; in fact that's when I started to worry even more. He walked me to the door and I assumed he'd be coming in but instead he kissed me. I asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner and he said no…he didn't try to stay at all…he didn't make any passes at me…just a kiss…and really it was more of a peck on the lips."
"He didn't want to come in at all?" Maggie repeated. "What the hell?"
"I know, right! I didn't know what to make of that. When Jim Beckett turns down a free meal and doesn't try to get me out of my clothes or at the very least, make some sort of innuendo laced comment, something is very wrong."
The other woman nodded. "I'd have to agree."
"Before he left me at my door I tried again to get him to tell me what's going on with him but he just keeps giving me the excuses I mentioned before. I don't know what's wrong…but it worries me."
"I'd be worried too," Maggie said as she picked up her sandwich for another bite.
Johanna sighed as she picked hers up as well. "Has Jeff mentioned anything about Jim? Something that might be the cause of this weird behavior? Anything?"
Maggie shook her head. "I'm sorry, Jo; he hasn't said anything that I think would be of any help. I know he called him Saturday to see if he wanted to go out that night but he said no…Jeff just figured that the two of you had plans once you got home."
She frowned. "I was hoping maybe he had said something to Jeff and that Jeff had passed it along."
"If he had, I'd tell you; you know that."
"I know; I'd do the same for you."
Maggie gave her a sympathetic smile. "Try not to worry too much. I know that's easier said than done but try. Whatever it is, I don't think it's about you…if it was, I don't think he'd be coming around at all and for the moment he's at least still driving you to and from work so that's something."
"I just wish I knew what it was so I could try to help him fix it."
"I know; but don't push too much, if you do, he might pull back even more."
"That's what I'm afraid of…I'm afraid if I keep asking that he's going to accuse me of nagging again and then he might want to call things off or something and I don't want that to happen over something that I don't even know about."
"That's why you're going to have to bite your tongue a little," Maggie told her. "You might just have to ride this one out, Jo. He'll tell you when he's ready or when he's worked it out. Maybe it's just one of those things he has to work out for himself. I know getting the brush off is probably hurting your feelings a little but maybe he doesn't realize that he's doing that."
Johanna nodded. "Those thoughts crossed my mind. I don't think he's being distant to be cruel or hurtful, it's just something happening in relation to whatever it is that's going on."
"Maybe it's something at work that he feels like he can't discuss or he'd be breeching confidentiality."
"I thought that too," she replied; "But you'd think he might at least say it's about a case and that he can't discuss it. I wouldn't push about that; I know how the job can be."
"That's a good point," Maggie agreed. "But maybe he hasn't thought of it yet or maybe it isn't work. Maybe it's his family or something."
"I don't know; it feels like it could be anything at this point…and I'm worried about him and yet worried about myself too, hoping that it isn't me, that I haven't done something and then I feel like a terrible person because it seems selfish somehow to be worrying about myself and the possible role I may have planned in it that I'm not aware of."
Maggie gave a soft laugh. "Jo, you tie yourself into knots over everything. You're allowed to worry about yourself during times like this. If it was Jeff acting that way, you're damn right I'd be wondering the same things…asking myself what I might have done, replaying the last time things seemed normal and trying to see where I screwed it up at. You're human, sweetie; you're allowed to think of yourself along with the person you love."
Johanna gave a quiet laugh in response. "I know, I'm crazy; I can't seem to help it…but I'm glad that my friends seem to understand that and tolerate it. I appreciate that."
Her friend grinned. "Well I figure you tolerate my less than sane moments so what the hell? That's what friends are for."
She nodded. "I'm glad I have you around."
"Me too," Maggie quipped. "And just think, we get to go through all of Sharon's wedding hoopla together."
"I have a feeling we're going to be drinking more."
Maggie laughed. "I have that feeling too."
She sighed, picking up another fry as their laughter faded. "What am I going to do?" she asked.
"What you always do; quietly be there…and wait."
Johanna swallowed her fry and took another sip of Coke. "I don't mind being there…but I get antsy during the wait."
"We all do," Maggie remarked. "But it's all you can do at the moment."
"I know," she said in resignation. "I'll give him some space and stop trying to pry; maybe he'll come around on his own then."
"Good idea," the other woman replied.
"Let's just hope it works or that whatever it is goes away and he gets back to normal soon."
"I'll keep my fingers crossed," Maggie told her.
Johanna gave her a small smile. It would be hard not to pry, but she would do her best…she just wished that he'd let her help him through whatever it was that was bothering him.
That night, Johanna laid in her bed watching the Tonight Show. Usually Johnny Carson kept her amused…or at the very least, entertained; but the episode wasn't very good and she found the guests to be unappealing. She had already flipped channels in search of something else but the movies airing on the other networks didn't hold her attention either and so she had returned to the Tonight Show, figuring it was for the best as it didn't require much concentration. She was still worrying; she just couldn't help herself. A soft sigh crossed her lips as she shifted a bit to get more comfortable as she sank into her thoughts.
Jim had driven her home at the end of the day, but once again he hadn't made a move to come in; had turned down dinner and his kiss had been chaste and somewhat cold in her opinion. She kept trying to convince herself that whatever it was that was bothering him wasn't her…but it was hard to keep that thought in mind when he was being so distant and suddenly less affectionate. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear her door open and close, nor did she pick up on the sound of footsteps until they crossed the threshold of her bedroom. She flinched as the object of her thoughts was suddenly in her room, toeing off his shoes by her vanity.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Jim told her.
She offered him a soft smile. "It's alright; I guess I didn't hear the door."
He did his best to conjure up a smile for her. "I practice making silent entries so I can catch you unaware…or at very least, naked."
Johanna smirked at him, amusement and a touch of relief in her eyes. "If you were hoping to catch me naked you should've been here earlier when I took a bath."
"Maybe I'll do better next time."
She watched him as he moved around her room as he got ready for bed. "What made you come back?" she asked quietly.
Jim shrugged as he settled into his side of the bed. "Just wanted to be here," he replied before brushing a kiss against her cheek.
Her hand found his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad you came back."
He smiled and turned his attention to the television. "Anyone good on tonight?" he asked.
"No; it's kind of lousy tonight."
"Nothing better on?"
"Not that I've found but if you want to look you can," she said as she handed him the remote.
Jim took the remote and flipped channels but he offered nothing further in terms of conversation, making her frown in response but she hurriedly wiped the expression off her face, reminding herself that she wasn't supposed to nag him too much about what was bothering him. She gave her attention back to the television as he returned to the Tonight Show with a sigh and handed back the remote.
Johanna put the remote on the nightstand and remained quiet, forcing herself to keep her focus on the show and not the man beside her who was currently punching his pillow in effort to get comfortable. She couldn't help but wonder why he had came if he was just going to turn his back to her but she didn't allow the question to be asked. She waited until he settled and then she scooted toward him, intent on cuddling up against his back but he reached back snagged her wrist. "Don't," he said quietly.
Hurt coursed through her at the rejection but she shoved it away, surely there was a reason and yet she couldn't bring herself to ask. "Sorry," she murmured as she gently shook off his grasp and slid back to her own space.
"My back hurts," Jim stated, knowing that he had hurt her feelings by the way he had brushed her off.
"Did you hurt it?" she asked in concern, her hand cautiously reaching out and rubbing against his back.
"No."
"Is it coming from your shoulder? I know that bothers you sometimes."
"My shoulder aches a little but it doesn't have anything to do with my back and neck."
"Your neck too?" Johanna asked.
He nodded in response, his hand moving to rub against the back of his neck.
"Do you want something for it?" she asked.
"Yeah, if you've got something."
Johanna got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She grabbed the bottle of over the counter pain reliever and then went and got him a glass of water from the kitchen. She returned to the bedroom and rounded the bed to his side and handed him the glass while she opened the bottle and shook out two tablets for him.
Jim took the pills, hoping they'd kill the stress induced aches in his body as well as make him sleep. "I could massage your back and your shoulder," Johanna said softly, her fingertips brushing against his arm.
The thought was appealing, Jim mused. "It's alright with me if you want to."
"Lay on your stomach," she told him.
Once he was on his stomach, she climbed back into bed and straddled his hips. She ran her hand along his bare back in a soft caress before she gently began to massage his muscles. She could feel how tight they were, the tension that was knotting them and most likely causing him the pain he spoke of. "Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself?" she inquired as she attempted to keep conversation going between them.
"I'm sure, sweetheart," he murmured, enjoying the feel of her fingers against his skin.
"You're not coming down with something, are you? Body aches are sometimes a symptom of certain illnesses."
"No; I'm not sick."
She didn't press the issue further but continued to work at his muscles. "You're awful tense," she murmured.
"I know," Jim said quietly, his eyes closing as her fingers pressed into his shoulder. He knew she was curious about what was bothering him; he'd even caught the flicker of worry in her eyes a few times over the last few days. He didn't want to worry her but he wasn't sure that he could divulge what was on his mind.
He wished he could rewind the clock and go back several days and somehow get himself out of the mess he was in now. He sighed, wincing slightly as Johanna hit a tender spot in his muscle.
"Sorry," she whispered, easing her touch as she dipped her head to press a kiss against his shoulder.
"It's alright," he answered. "Don't stop."
"Is it helping?"
"Yeah…it always does."
Johanna moved her hands along his back, massaging away the knots she found. "You should've told me sooner," she told him. "Maybe we could've gotten it before it got this bad, honey."
"I know…I guess I didn't think about it," Jim replied. He'd been too absorbed in his worries and trying to find solutions for them to think of much else. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little surprised that she was being so attentive to him. He wouldn't have blamed her if she had been nursing bruised feelings or harboring a little bit of anger. He'd been pushing her away and neglecting her…worst of all, he had sent her home Saturday evening…in a cab…which spoke of how bad things had been. It wasn't something he had made an effort at, it just happened on its own and it wasn't until the silence started to get to him at night that he realized that he'd been distant and short tempered.
It didn't escape his notice that she didn't call him that evening. Johanna always called him after her bath or at the very least, right before she went to bed to say goodnight. The moment he realized that she didn't call was the moment when he realized that she was all he wanted and needed. He didn't want to spend another night alone with his worries. He just wanted to be with her.
"Did you hear that Phil lost that big case he was working on?" Johanna asked as she made another attempt at conversation.
"No, I didn't hear about that. When did that happen?"
"This afternoon. He's livid."
"What happened?"
"The opposition had a piece of evidence that he missed that tipped the scales in their favor…a huge piece of evidence."
"If it was that big, how did Phil miss it?" Jim asked, grateful to be thinking about someone else's problems. "He's usually better than that."
Johanna continued to knead the muscles of his back as she spoke. "My theory is that he spent more time searching for a wedding venue with Sharon than preparing his case. He thought it was in the bag and got lazy with it."
"Not that Phil will ever admit that. Keep at that spot," he said as she went to move on to another area of his back.
Johanna returned her hands to the spot he wanted and continued her work. "Of course he won't admit it. He's claiming that the other side hid the evidence so he couldn't find it and therefore embarrass him in court."
Jim chuckled quietly, his body relaxing slightly under her fingertips. "That sounds like Phil."
"Yeah; it's always someone else's fault when he loses. He isn't too happy with me today."
"Why's that?"
"Well after his loss he came down to my office to complain about it to Sharon and while he's on his big tirade, I'm in with a client and we can hear him and Sharon going on and on about this and you know it doesn't look good on me to have that going on in the outer office. I understand he was mad but Sharon's my secretary and has work to do and I have mine…and my clients don't need to be his audience. I had to stop my meeting and go out and tell him to leave. He didn't like that; he claims I'm always trying to keep him from talking to his fiancée."
"That's too damn bad," Jim remarked. "He should know better than that. If he wants to rant and rave, he can do it in his own office or in the break room, or better yet, after work. It doesn't look good for him and it doesn't look good for you. You had every right to tell him to get the hell out. Sharon should've sent him on his way herself."
"Like that's going to happen," she replied. "But you know Phil isn't much of a fan of me as it is. I don't know why he doesn't care for me; I mean it doesn't matter, he doesn't thrill me either but it's like I've done something to him that I don't know about."
Jim was quiet for a long moment, debating whether to delve into that further. "I told you before that he isn't big on women being lawyers. He hides that feeling well from the public at large but those of us who know him outside of the office and have heard some of the things he's said know how he feels on the topic. I like Sharon and I think she's an intelligent person; if she had wanted to be a lawyer instead of a secretary I have no doubt that she could've been one…but if Sharon was a lawyer, Phil would've never asked her out. He doesn't want a woman who's on equal par with him in the professional world."
"I know you told me that before…and I hate to think that my best friend would be shunned by the man she wants to marry if her occupation was different, but I can't help but feel like it's something more than just the fact that he thinks I'm infiltrating the boys club by having the audacity to posses a law degree."
He pondered whether or not he should divulge the information he had about that other reason. It wasn't that he thought it would hurt her feelings; he really didn't think she cared all that much whether Phil liked her or not, but she knew he had something against her and she wanted to know why out of curiosity. "Do you really want to know?"
Her hands paused against his back. "Is that your way of saying that you know what the answer is?"
"I have a pretty good idea."
"What is it?"
Jim sighed; wondering if he was doing the right thing as she resumed his massage. "You remember how right after you won your first big case for the firm, Roche had you meet with that longtime client, Thompson's his name, I believe."
"Yeah; Mr. Thompson has been my client ever since then; he's such a nice man, he reminds me of my grandfather; he even sent me a Christmas bonus."
He smiled a little. "I know, he adores you. But anyway, what you don't know is that Mr. Thompson used to be Phil's client."
"What?"
He nodded against the pillow. "He was Phil's client for a year, maybe a little over and for awhile it went okay but then Phil lost a relatively simple case that he really should've won."
"Then how did he blow it?"
"Same way he probably blew the one today; inattention to detail…being lazy. Mr. Thompson wasn't happy of course and he ended up appealing the decision and finally won in that round but he was ready to cut ties with Phil after that. He went to Roche and asked him who else he had who could handle the legalities that pop up in his business, you know, the contract law, the discrimination suits, the wrongful termination ect. So Roche told him the records of three people and called those three people in; you of course were one of them. From what I heard, Thompson was most impressed with you and asked Roche if he thought you could handle the job of being his lawyer. If I remember correctly, he had a small case coming up at that time, he as suing someone. His only concern was that you had only been out of school for about 6 months. Roche told him that you seemed to handle all the areas he needed pretty well, and that the only area he might need someone else for would be in the real estate vein because you don't handle that."
"I hate real estate law," Johanna muttered. "Hate it, hate it, hate it."
"I know," he chuckled. "So as you know, you had that first big win under your belt plus a good many smaller ones and Roche was impressed with you enough to give you the recommendation. Mr. Thompson dumped Phil and gave his business to you…and Phil was pissed."
"I see," she remarked. "He thinks I stole his client."
"It's not that he thinks you 'stole' him…it's that Thompson picked you over him or any other man in the firm. In his mind it's one thing to lose a client to another male colleague, it's another thing completely to be dumped in favor of a woman colleague…especially one that could still be classified as being fresh out of law school at the time."
"I never knew that he was Phil's client; Roche said he'd been a client of the firm for awhile but needed a new attorney; I just figured whoever he dealt with had left or retired, I mean Mr. Thompson isn't young himself and he never mentioned who he had worked with previously."
"That's how he wanted it," Jim told her. "He didn't want to cause any trouble for you with Phil so he and Roche agreed that it would be best not to tell you who he had worked with before you. All you needed to know was that he needed a new lawyer that he wanted you."
"So Sharon doesn't know about this either?"
"Not to my knowledge. I don't really see Phil confiding that piece of information to her…she'd tell him he was an ass and he doesn't want that."
"Of course not…truth hurts; he is an ass."
"He does have his moments; but like I said, he was pissed about his client dumping him for you and he's never gotten over it. So in my opinion, that's the grudge he has against you. If it's anything else in combination with the two things I mentioned, I don't know, but that's the main jist of it."
"Does he know that I didn't know Thompson was his client?" Johanna asked.
"He knows but it never mattered to him; he lost to a girl…he hates that."
"Jackass," she muttered.
"I guess I probably should've told you before but I didn't know how you'd take it. I didn't want to upset you and I didn't know if you'd feel bad about the whole thing because you shouldn't; Thompson came to you, not the other way around."
She sighed. "I get it; and there probably was a time when I would've felt badly for it but apparently that time has passed. I like working with Mr. Thompson and I do the best I can for him when a problem comes up that he needs handled; he's stuck with me so I guess he's pleased with my work."
"Sweetheart; you've won several cases for him and he sends you Christmas bonuses plus your retainer fee, he's thrilled with you."
"Do you think Phil will ever try to make Sharon stop being friends with me…or stop working with me?" she asked after a moment's pause.
Jim was quiet as he contemplated that. "I would hope not…but it also wouldn't surprise me if he didn't try to come between the two of you from time to time. I think he gets jealous of your friendship sometimes. He wants to be the only person in her life that she confides in and has fun with, knows all her secrets ect. It doesn't work that way; everyone has that one person or even two outside of their significant other who functions in all of those ways. Phil has a controlling nature at times…and I really hope Sharon knows what she's doing and I hope she never lets him dictate who her friends can be."
"I hope so too," she said softly.
"Don't worry, Jo; you and Sharon have been friends since you were teenagers, I don't see her letting him run you off once he's her husband. And if she does, then you're better off…even though I know it would hurt you."
"I'm not going to worry about it," she replied. "Let's talk about something else."
"Sounds good to me; Phil's a mood killer."
She allowed a touch of humor to creep into her voice. "Are we aiming for a mood here?"
"I didn't have any intentions, if that's what you mean," he answered.
Johanna's fingertips at had been working at his neck but she ceased the action, her hands moving over him in a soft caress as she lowered her head to brush kisses against his skin. "How should I feel about that?" she teased. "Have I lost my touch already?"
"No, sweetheart; it's not you…it's me."
Her hand moved along his arm soothingly. "Tell me what's wrong, honey," she murmured. "Maybe you'll feel better."
He was silent as her hands continued to move against his skin in soothing caresses. She suppressed a sigh, figuring he wasn't going to tell her whatever it was that was weighing him down but she told herself not to push. She didn't want to be accused of nagging again. But she hated knowing that something was wrong and yet not knowing the cause of it so that she could help find a solution for him. She loved him; she wanted to take away his troubles.
'They want me to take a bribe and throw the case," Jim muttered.
His voice broke through her thoughts and she wasn't sure she had heard him quite right. "What?"
"They want me to throw the case."
Her hands stilled but she remained in place. "Who wants you to throw what case?"
Jim exhaled a heavy breath. "That case between the two shipping companies; the one I have to work on with Steve and Charles…the one I'd rather be beat with a lead pipe than work on."
"You haven't told me much about that one," she replied. "All you told me was that you had to work with those two and that you weren't happy about it."
"That's an understatement," he scoffed. "The company we're representing is suing the other one for what amounts to sabotage. This other company has taken being a competitor to an entirely different level; they're ruining the business of the company we're representing. They've done some things that aren't legal in their quest to put this company out of business."
"And they know there's proof of their wrongdoings, right?" Johanna asked.
"Plenty of it…that's why they approached Steve and offered a little 'deal' to throw the case."
"What kind of deal?"
"If we botch the case so they win, we each get 10,000 dollars. Steve and Charles are all for it of course and they're putting a lot of pressure on me to play ball."
"And what do you want to do?" she asked. "Do you want to take the money or not?"
"Of course not!" he exclaimed, a hint of annoyance in his tone at her even suggesting the idea. "Why would you even ask that?"
"Because it's a logical question to ask," Johanna replied. "And if it's got you this tied up in knots and they're putting so much pressure on you, then I'm assuming there were brief moments when maybe you considered it."
He frowned, his hand reaching behind him to grab her hand and pull it away from his skin.
"Don't get angry with me," she told him as she shook off his grasp and moved away from him. "You would've said the same thing to me if the situation was reversed and don't lie and say you wouldn't. I wasn't implying that you'd do it because you'd want to; I was implying that the pressure might've made you consider it just so you could get rid of that tension."
"Then you ought to say what you mean," he retorted.
Johanna settled back on her own side of the bed. "That's advice you should give yourself once in awhile. I didn't do this to you, they did. I'm not the enemy; I'm trying to listen to the problem and put things together. I wasn't judging you."
Jim exhaled a weighted breath; he knew that…it had just been a knee jerk reaction. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
"I know…but the question still stands."
"I don't want to take it," he stated.
"I sense a 'but'."
"But I guess there have been moments when I've thought about blowing the case and not taking the money just to get them off my back; because it's not just Steve and Charles now, it's also the person who wants to make this deal, because Steve and Charles told him that I don't seem to want to go along with it."
"Is he threatening you?"
"No, not really."
"What does 'no, not really' mean?" she asked, concern in her tone as she turned her worried gaze toward him.
He shook his head. "Nothing; just that they could make life difficult for me if I don't play ball."
"How do they plan to do that?"
"I think they're planning to take me down from a career angle; not a physical angle."
"But you can't say for certain?"
He found her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry; I'm sure they're just putting on a show to make me take the deal."
"That sounds like you're considering that it could be more than a career threat."
"Sweetheart, we're in the line of work where threats get made at times and usually they come to nothing. I'm not really worried about anything physical."
"You can't go through with it, Jim. You can't let them buy you off."
"I don't want to."
"Then don't."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes it is," she remarked. "You say no and you do the right thing and take them down for trying to bribe you. You need to go to Roche about this and tell him that Steve and Charles are all for this little pay off."
"I thought of that," he admitted. "But what if Roche is like them? What if he doesn't see a problem with it? What if he thinks I should go along and keep my mouth shut? I could lose my job, Johanna."
"If you got caught, you could be disbarred and that's a whole other rodeo," Johanna replied. "If you get fired for not taking the bribe, you still have the opportunity of working somewhere else or starting your own firm. If you get caught going along with this, then you're screwed."
"Thanks for stating the obvious," he retorted sharply. "Do you think I haven't thought about that?"
"I'm sure you have," she said as she pulled her hand away from his, struggling not to lash back as her own worries for him grew. "But I guess what you need to ask yourself is what's more important to you, your job or your self respect?"
He sighed. "Both are important to me."
"Which can you live without more?"
"Johanna," he said tersely.
She rolled over and eyed him. "You can't do this, Jim. It's not you…if you do this, you won't be the person I thought you were."
Jim felt like a fist had just been slammed into his gut. "It would change how you feel about me?"
"If you're asking if I'd stop loving you, the answer is no…but in a professional sense, I'd feel like you weren't the person I thought you were."
"You'd leave me," he stated.
"I wouldn't leave you," she replied sincerely. "But I wouldn't be happy that you did it…but that's not my decision to make, it's yours. I understand that you're worried about losing your job either way you handle this but I really think you should go to Roche and let him know what's going on and then handle this the way it needs to be handled. This company you're representing…it sounds like they've already lost an awful lot to these people who want to buy you off. Is that fair to them?"
"No; but the whole damn thing feels unfair to me."
"It is unfair…and those two jackasses you're working with should know better although I'm not surprised in the slightest that they're all for this."
"I don't know what to do."
"Yes you do…you do the right thing. If Roche wants to fire you for it, then let him, because you won't be the only person leaving. I'll be walking out the door right behind you."
"It's not your fight, Jo."
"If you go, I go. If they're not above asking you to take a bribe, they're not above asking me and I'm not doing it."
"I just wish there was an easier way out…one that wouldn't cause me flack in one way or another."
Her gaze remained pinned on him. "You're worried about the flack from Steve and Charles."
"It's not that I'm worried about it; it's that I hate dealing with it."
"You can take them," she murmured. "They aren't anyone. Tell them to go to hell."
"I have; numerous times…and they refuse to pack their bags and go."
She laughed softly. "Then trip them down a flight of stairs or something, whatever makes you feel better."
"I wish I could," he muttered. "I hate being dragged into this."
"I know…and I hate that it's happened to you."
"Maybe I could just take myself off the case," Jim remarked.
"Roche's going to want to know why. You're not going to be able to keep it from him."
"I could try."
"Why are you so against taking this upstairs?"
"You know why," he retorted. "You know what kind of reputation you get for being a snitch."
She scoffed. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize being an honest man was so distasteful."
"You know how it is, Johanna; one way or another, life is going to be hell over this. What if I go to Roche and Steve and Charles get fired; who knows how they'd smear me to cause the downfall of my career as well."
"Steve and Charles deserve to be fired if this is what they're doing, because if they're open to it, then that tells me they've either done it before or they're willing to do it again once they start this time. You're going to have to decide what you can live with; doing the right thing or the wrong thing."
Jim sighed loudly. "I should've stayed home; you're no help at all."
Johanna narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you want me to do, Jim? Do you want me to tell you to take the bribe? That's not my choice to make, it's yours. If you want to take it, I'm not stopping you. I just hope they aren't setting you bunch of fools up; waving this money in front of you only to back out after you throw the case…and then who knows, maybe they'll go spread it around that you were willing to help them win for the right price, which gives them another opportunity to humiliate the company you're working for. Then your career is over and everyone else at the firm is affected too because of the reputation it'll put on all of us. But it's your call; if you want to do it, go for it…just don't buy me anything with that dirty money. I don't want any part of it."
"I shouldn't have told you," Jim stated as he turned over on his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Now you'll be on the lecture circuit for months and I have to tell you, Johanna, it's not appealing."
Her jaw tightened in response to the barb; apparently having him confide his troubles also meant that she was the one he was going to take them out on. "If you don't want to hear my opinions, then do the right thing and deal with the flack from two jackasses who you owe nothing to. They wouldn't hesitate to throw you under the bus so you ought to beat them to the punch. I feel like you aren't really worried about them as much as you want to make it seem…it makes me feel like you're being threatened in a way worse than you've subtly admitted."
"This is another reason I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd worry more than you need to. I should've kept my mouth shut."
"I didn't hold a gun to your head and force you to tell me."
"No but you nagged about it."
"How did I nag?" she asked, her tone slightly outraged. "All I did was ask what was wrong; what's so terrible about that?"
"You've known all along I didn't want to tell you; and now you know why."
Johanna clicked off the lamp and turned her back to him. "Forgive me for loving you," she murmured. "If you leave, make sure the door locks. I'm not going to sit here and argue with you all night. I won't say another word about it and I don't want to know what you do about it. It's your business, not mine. Goodnight."
Jim exhaled a heavy breath and focused his attention on the television. He'd been holding it all in for days and now he'd taken it out on Johanna because she'd told him what he already knew. There wasn't anyone to trust in this situation, there wasn't any easy way out. To him the easy way would be a firm no and the stepping away from the case…but she was right, there would be questions about that and what was he supposed to do? If he lied, he'd still run the risk of putting a black mark against his name if Steve and Charles were found out. He didn't want to take the bribe; he wasn't that kind of person. He just worried about the fallout to come. His gaze shifted to Johanna's back as she laid still and quiet near the edge of her side of the bed. He shouldn't have accused her of nagging; she was only concerned. It wasn't her fault; she didn't put him in this mess.
He shifted toward her, his chest pressing against her back as his arm came around her. "Don't," Johanna said. "My body might nag you."
"I'm sorry," he murmured with a soft chuckle. "You weren't nagging me…I was just being…"
"A jackass?" she asked.
"Yes…it comes from having to work with them."
"Well you better have yourself decontaminated before you crawl in my bed again."
"I promise," he replied as he held her tighter.
Her pinky hooked around his. "I didn't mean to lecture or pry."
"You didn't…you just told me the truth."
She sighed softly. "No matter what you do…it won't change anything between us."
"I'll go talk to Roche in the morning," he said quietly.
"You don't have to do it because I said to; do what feels right to you."
"I am…what feels right to me is being the man you've always thought I was. I don't want to be something I'm not."
"That's good to hear; but I still want you to do it for yourself."
"I am, sweetheart."
"No matter what happens, I'll be behind you," Johanna told him.
Jim turned her over to face him; his lips capturing hers in a soft kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"I'm sorry I didn't stay earlier," he murmured.
"It's okay; I can't say that it doesn't worry me when you turn down a free meal because it does, but I figured when you were ready you'd come back…I was just worried that the problem was me."
He shook his head. "I wouldn't do that to you; if something was wrong between us I'd tell you."
"Promise?"
"Yes."
She gave him a small smile. "Okay. Try and get some sleep, honey," she said as she caressed his face. "Your eyes look tired; I can tell you haven't been sleeping well."
"I haven't been," he admitted. "Maybe I'll sleep better here."
"I hope so; you need your rest to take care of this tomorrow."
He pulled her close and held her tightly. "I'll just hold on to you; that should help me sleep better."
She laughed softly as she snuggled against him. "I know holding on to you always helps me sleep."
"Good; then it's a proven cure; we sleep better when we're together."
Johanna nodded against him. "Everything's going to be fine; you've got this. You can handle it and get it taken care of. You just close your eyes and get some rest…think happy thoughts and I'll stay close."
"I'll do my best, sweetheart," he murmured as he closed his eyes and forced himself to think of something more appealing, like the vacation he was planning for them. He couldn't wait to go…he just hoped he wouldn't be job hunting after it.
A shake of his shoulder woke Jim the next morning. He frowned, his eyes stubbornly refusing to open.
"Jim," Johanna said, her fingers tapping against his cheek. "Come on, you have to get ready for work."
"Tell them I quit," he muttered.
"You can't do that," she replied.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because if you quit then I'll be alone there."
"If I get fired there's no guarantee we'll ever work together again."
"You're not going to get fired. You're making yourself believe the worst case scenarios."
"At the moment my whole life feels like a worst case scenario."
"Thanks a lot," Johanna replied as she grabbed a pillow and whacked him with it.
"Except for your part in it, dear," he remarked.
"Too late to suck up now," she told him as she jerked the covers off of him. "And your life is not a worst case scenario. My mother always says that life doesn't deliver something we can't handle."
"I don't think I know your mother well enough to put full faith in that."
"It's a law of the universe," she retorted.
"Who said?"
"Me; now get up."
He cracked his eyes open and peered up at her. She already had her makeup on and her hair pulled back into a bun. "You're too pretty to be so cold," he told her as he sat up, his hand reaching for the sash of her robe.
"What are you doing?" she asked as her robe parted and his hand slipped inside to settle at her waist. "We don't have time for this."
"I just wanted to check and see what pile you had made your selection from," he replied as he allowed his eyes to scan her body, making note of the lingerie she was wearing. "This looks like every day pile."
Johanna smirked at him. "I don't usually have a reason to pick something from the special occasion pile for work."
Jim's brow rose. "There's always lunch breaks to take into consideration."
"I don't usually strip at lunch; dining establishments frown on that, you know?"
"Who said anything about a dining establishment?"
"Are you propositioning me?" she asked.
He gave her a smile. "I have to have something to look forward to."
Johanna ran her fingers through his hair. "It's going to be fine; now get up."
"In a minute," he replied. "Come back to bed."
"No," she said as she wiggled away from his grasp and went to the closet.
Jim laid back in bed and watched as she surveyed the contents of her closet. She reached for a grey skirt. "Not that one," he told her.
"Why not?"
"I don't like it; it's too long."
Johanna rolled her eyes as she glanced at him. "It comes a little below the knee."
"Exactly."
She shook her head but put the skirt back in the closet and reached for a black one. "That's much better," he told her. "I like that one."
"I'm glad it meets your approval," she replied as she took it off the hanger and put it on.
He smiled as he watched her zip it up. "See, that shows off a healthy amount of leg."
She smirked at him. "And God knows we don't want you to be deprived."
"Consider it a community service."
Johanna turned back to her closet and took out a blouse. "Oh God not that one," Jim exclaimed.
"What's wrong with it?" she asked as looked at the pink blouse in her hand.
"I hate it," he replied. "I wish you'd burn it."
Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Why do you say that?"
"Because it's awful. You look too damn prissy in that; you're all buttoned up and snooty looking…you look like you ought to be one of those teachers that walk around smacking a ruler against their hand to put the fear of God into the children. I can't stand it."
"What's the matter, you got whacked with a ruler one time too many?" she retorted.
"That's beside the point. The point is, don't wear that blouse I hate it."
"I hate how you say buttoned up like I'm advertising the rest of the time."
"You know what I meant," Jim told her. "That blouse isn't you."
"Then why did I buy it?"
"Beats the hell out of me…throw it in the garbage."
"I am not throwing it in the garbage."
Jim got out of bed and went to her closet. 'What are you doing?" she asked as he searched through her clothes.
"Finding you something decent to wear," he replied as he pulled out a plum colored blouse. "Here, you look nice in this one."
"I don't feel like purple today."
He eyed her. "You have to 'feel' like a certain color?"
She nodded. "Sometimes."
He put the shirt back in the closet and pulled out a red one. "No," Johanna replied. "I'm not in a red mood."
He smirked at her. "You're just being a smart ass."
"No I'm not."
Jim found a pink silk blouse. "Here, if you want to wear pink, wear this one. It's much better and it's you."
She took off her robe and took the shirt from his hand; slipping it on as she eyed him. "You don't have to worry about losing your job; you can always go into business as a fashion consultant."
He smirked at her. "Funny. Maybe I can work in the same boutique as my sister."
"There you go, make it a family business."
Jim pinched her backside in retaliation as she turned back to the closet to grab a blazer.
She smacked his shoulder and shot him a glare. "Don't pinch me."
"Okay," he grinned, patting her instead of pinching.
"Get your hand off my ass and get ready for work."
"But I'd rather do this," he told her; his pat turning into a gentle swat.
"You know the rules, if you want to get fresh with me you have to buy me dinner first."
"But it's morning."
"Then you have to buy me breakfast first," she replied as she pulled one of his dress shirts from the closet, along with one of his suits.
"Are you picking out my clothes now?" he asked.
"Yes; you look very handsome in your black suit," Johanna remarked as she hung it on the door and looked it over. It didn't appear to need ironing; neither did the crisp white shirt that she hung up with it. She then went to his drawer of her dresser and picked out a tie for him.
"I don't know if I feel like wearing that tie," Jim declared; eyeing the blue necktie she had chosen for him.
"Wear it anyway," she replied.
"Give me one good reason."
She gave him a sassy look. "If you're a good boy, I might help you take it off later."
His hands slipped around her waist. "I knew you wanted to get your hands on me," he told her.
Johanna kissed him. "And you just want to procrastinate. Putting this off isn't going to make anything any better."
"I know," he muttered. "What's your schedule look like today?"
"I'll be in the office all day; I have a few clients but it's not an overly busy day."
"Lunch?" he asked.
She nodded. "Noon?"
"Yeah; that will work."
"You know I won't be able to wait that long though to know what happens…that is if you're still going to talk to him this morning."
'I'm going to talk to him first thing," Jim replied; knowing it had to be done but dreading it at the same time.
"My first meeting isn't until ten," she told him; "Come see me if you can."
"I promise."
"Good," she said after brushing a kiss to his lips. "Now, go get ready for work or we're going to be late."
He reluctantly headed for the bathroom and she turned her attention to the bed as she quickly began to make it. She knew he was nervous, and truth be told, so was she although she wouldn't say so. She prayed that everything would turn out fine…if it didn't, she had a feeling he'd blame her in a small way for convincing him to take this path.
When they arrived at work, Jim and Johanna headed for the break room after making stops at their offices. They were quiet as they moved to the counter where the coffee pot sat. Jim took her mug from her hand and sat it down with his. She watched as he made her coffee and his, saying nothing until the few people who were sharing the room with them drifted into the hallway. She could tell that Jim had retreated back into the pensive shell he'd been in for days. She gently curled her fingers around his wrist and gave him a small smile when his gaze met hers. "It's going to be fine," she murmured.
"I wish I could be as sure of that as you are," he replied.
"Trust me," she told him. "I'm always right."
The comment made Jim laugh quietly. "I don't know about that."
Her eyes sparkled in amusement. "I do. Don't worry."
That was easier said than done, he thought as he stole a quick kiss.
"Do you have a plan?" she asked.
Jim took a sip of his coffee and then sat his mug down. "I'm going to tell him that I want off the case and when he asks why, I'll tell him what's going on. I figure that's the best way to go at it."
Johanna gave a nod of approval. "Sounds like a good plan."
He released a heavy breath. "I guess I better go get it over with."
Johanna sat her cup aside and slipped her arms around him in a comforting embrace. Jim held her tightly, breathing in her scent and allowing it to soothe him. He pulled back enough to capture her lips in a lingering kiss.
"No matter what," she said softly; "We'll work it out."
"We?" he asked.
She nodded. "We. You're apart of me…what happens to you happens to me…and no matter how it goes, we'll work it out together. Don't worry; I've got ideas in mind if this goes sour."
Jim smiled, his hands curling around her waist gently. "You've got ideas?"
"Oh yeah; one wrong move on their part and it won't be pretty."
"Is that right?"
"Guaranteed," she replied with a nod. "You say the word and I start taking people down."
He grinned. "When you talk that way, it almost makes me want it to go badly."
Johanna giggled. "I just wanted you to know that you weren't going in there without any plan B…I've got plan B, don't you worry."
He kissed her and then whispered in her ear. "You're very sexy when you get feisty, sweetheart."
A blush stole across her cheeks, a sassy smile sliding across her lips. "You bring out the best in me," she quipped.
Jim chuckled. "I would've thought you'd say the worst."
She smirked at him. "You've been known to do that too on occasion."
"That's mutual, you know."
Johanna eyed him as she smiled. "Believe me, I know."
He pressed a kiss against her forehead and reluctantly stepped away from her and picked up his coffee mug. "I guess I'm never going to get it over with if I keep standing here."
"Then go get it over with," she replied as she picked up her cup and fell into step with him.
"I am as soon as I put my coffee on my desk," he told her as they began their journey back up the hallway.
"Let me know how it goes…I know we're having lunch but a quick message will suffice if that's all you can manage."
"I'll let you know."
"Good luck," she told him.
Jim gave her a tight lipped smile as the neared her office. "Thanks, I'll need it."
She stepped closer to him, whispering as his gaze met hers. "No matter what, I love you."
His smile was relaxed this time as he brushed a knuckle against her chin. "You're a wonderful cheerleader."
She shot him an amused look. "I'm not putting the uniform on."
Jim laughed. "That's alright; there are things you can put on…or take off…whichever the mood calls for."
She rolled her eyes but a playful smile remained on her lips. "Alright, Romeo, get going. Get it over with so you'll feel better."
He smiled and nodded. "I'll see you in a little while."
"You better; don't make me hunt you down."
"That sounds appealing though," he replied as he continued up the hallway.
"Trust me, it wouldn't be," she called after him, a silent prayer cycling through her mind that everything would be alright as she had assured him.
Johanna found it hard to concentrate on the documents strewn across her desk as she waited for news from Jim. She sighed and glanced at the clock, she and Jim had gone their separate ways a little over two hours before; surely he should be finished by now…although maybe 'finished' wasn't a term she should be using. Her fingers itched to reach for the phone to call his office but she held back. She had already called once and Sally had said that he wasn't back yet. She had also told her that Jim had called from upstairs and told her to reschedule his first appointment for later in the week. The comment had increased her worry although she tried to convince herself that rescheduling meant he wasn't fired…but then her traitorous mind would whisper 'unless they're being rescheduled for a replacement'.
Johanna shook that thought away; everything was fine. If they turned out to be crooked and tried to fire him for not taking a bribe, they'd just sue the firm and run them into the ground. Problem solved. She wouldn't have any qualms filing that lawsuit; that's why she told Jim that she had Plan B covered. She had thought it all over that morning as she put on her makeup. She wasn't going to let anyone run him out without a fight. In addition to the lawsuit, she'd personally make the call to start the ball rolling on having Steve and Charles investigated and disbarred. She wouldn't leave any stone unturned, from the bottom ranks to the top. They'd all be sorry that they ever thought twice about taking their little bribes.
Her fingers curled around her pen in anger at the thought of this being turned against Jim. She knew that he could take care of himself and fight his own battles, but protectiveness welled up within her. She'd be damned if she stood idly by and let someone ruin his career and reputation. He was a good man, he was honest and worked hard…and most of all, he was hers. She'd go into battle for him and with him in a heartbeat, no questions asked.
She blew out a breath and tried to focus her mind on her work…it lasted a total of five minutes before her thoughts drifted again. She sighed; it was a good thing her first meeting hadn't taken long and was over. Her next meeting was scheduled for later in the afternoon, thankfully, she thought to herself. By then she should know something and would be able to settle down. Jim's talk with Roche really shouldn't be taking this long though…should it? Her itchy fingers reached out and snatched up the phone and dialed Jim's office.
"Is he back yet?" she asked when Sally answered.
"No; he hasn't come back yet; I've rescheduled all the morning appointments," his secretary told her.
"What's he doing up there?" Johanna exclaimed.
"I wish I knew," Sally replied. "I hope he isn't getting fired; I'd hate to have to break in a new boss. I feel like we understand each other. When he's being a demanding tyrant and a smart ass, I overlook the majority of it. When he pisses me off and I throw a file at him and occasionally tell him to kiss my ass, he understands."
Johanna laughed. "He's good like that."
"Yeah, he is…and lately I've had the added advantage of saying 'I'm telling Johanna that you're being a jerk' and he tones himself down. He doesn't want you thinking he's anything less than a saint."
She laughed again. "We won't tell him that I already know otherwise."
"I'd appreciate that. I've been trying to catch you the last few days but you were in court a lot or in with clients when I'd call," Sally told her.
"Why didn't you call me at home?" she asked. "You have my number."
"I used to have your number," Sally remarked. "I used to have a lot of numbers until my niece scribbled all over my address book with her crayons while I was babysitting last weekend. I'm horrible with remembering phone numbers; if I don't call you every day, then I have to look your number up."
"I understand. How is Sabrina…a budding artist, I assume?"
Sally laughed. "More like a holy terror now that she's three. How's little Greg?"
"A perfect angel," Johanna replied.
Sally scoffed. "Remind me, how old is he?"
"He'll be two in September."
"Enjoy his angelic qualities while you can," the secretary told her. "It's not going to last."
"I had a talk with him; I told him he has to be good for me and bad for his daddy. We have an understanding," Johanna said with a laugh.
"Uh huh, let me know how that works out for you. While I've got a piece of paper and a pen, let me get your number again; L thru P was obliterated in my address book."
"It's 555-7931."
"Got it," Sally replied. "You wouldn't happen to know Maggie's off the top of your head, would you? I know she's in court all day today and I'll forget to ask her when I see her."
"Maggie's is 555-3465."
"Thank you."
"What were you trying to get a hold of me about?" Johanna asked.
Sally lowered her voice. "About your boyfriend."
"What about him?"
"He hasn't been acting like himself and when I mention it, he tells me to quit being nosy and go do my work."
"I know," she replied. "He hasn't been himself with me either."
"What's going on?"
"It's about a case," Johanna answered. "Hopefully it'll be straightened out today."
"Is that the reason for the visit to the hall of bigwigs as Jeff calls them?" Sally asked.
"Yes."
Sally was quiet for a moment. "Do I need to worry?"
"I hope not," Johanna replied. "I just finally got him to tell me what was wrong last night; I've had a knot in my stomach ever since; although I haven't told him that."
The secretary sighed. "That sounds like I should be worried."
"I'm sure everything will be fine…I just can't help but worry about him, you know?"
"Yeah; I know," Sally replied. "Men always find a way to tie us up in knots one way or another."
She laughed. "That's the truth."
"Who are you running your mouth to instead of working?" Johanna heard Jim's voice say on the other end of the line.
"Your girlfriend," Sally answered without missing a beat.
"In that case I'll overlook it," Jim replied. "Give me the phone."
"Maybe she'd rather talk to me," his secretary tormented. "You haven't been good at conversation lately; you might bore her."
"She must already be bored if she's talking to you, Sally."
Sally gave her attention back to Johanna who was laughing on the other end of the line. "I don't know what you see in him."
"What can I say?" Johanna replied. "I guess it was a combination of his handsomeness and his charm."
"He has charm?" the secretary jested. "Where at? I've never seen it."
"Give me the damn phone before I fire you," Jim told his secretary; but there was no real threat in his tone.
"You must be feeling better," Sally remarked. "You haven't threatened to fire me in days; I was starting to worry."
"I'm glad you feel better now," Jim quipped. "Give me the phone."
"I'll talk to you later," Sally told Johanna before handing over the phone.
"Jo," Jim said.
"I'm here," she replied; noting that he was back to calling her Jo instead of Johanna. It seemed as though he reserved her full name for moments of stress, annoyance and anger…and their more intimate moments, her brain felt the need to remind her, causing her cheeks to warm.
"It's okay," he told her.
"Is it?"
"Yeah; I can't talk much about it right now because I have some things to take care of but I'll see at lunch."
"Same time?" she asked.
"Yeah; I'll be there at noon, I promise."
"You better be, I'll be waiting," Johanna replied.
"I'm worth the wait," he teased.
She gave a soft laugh, the knot in her stomach easing. "We'll see about that."
"I'll see you soon," he told her. "Try not to pine for me."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "I'll try to control myself," she replied before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. He sounded more like himself and she felt the tension ease from her body. Maybe they could get back to normal now.
"You're late," Johanna said as Jim stepped into her office.
He glanced at his watch. "It's 12:02."
"You said noon," she replied with a smug smile. "It's after noon now."
Jim smiled as he shut the door and moved toward her. "Maybe I wanted to test that theory about absence making the heart grow fonder."
Playfulness gleamed in her eyes. "I figured you found something better to do."
"Never," he replied, a teasing smile on his lips. "Maybe I was just paying you back for those times I've had to wait while you pick out a pair of shoes and switch purses."
"That's not nice," she remarked as his hands slipped around her waist.
"I'll make it up to you," he murmured before capturing her lips in a kiss.
"Where are we going for lunch?" Johanna asked when his lips parted from hers.
He grinned. "Your place."
Her eyes widened. "What?"
"Your place," he said again, his lips brushing against her neck.
"Jim," she chastened, giving his shoulder a shove.
"What?" he chuckled.
"It's noon!"
He shrugged. "That's never stopped us before."
"Those times were on the weekend!" she exclaimed quietly as she captured his wandering hand.
"Don't worry, I checked, there's no law against it on week day afternoons."
She smirked at him. "It's a work day!"
"There's no law against that either. In fact that's the main reason they invented lunch breaks, sweetheart."
"I was under the impression they created lunch breaks because people got hungry."
A wicked grin spread across his lips. "Believe me, sweetheart; I'm hungry."
She ignored the innuendo. "Then we should go eat."
"I'm not hungry for food…I'm hungry for you," he replied before kissing her passionately.
She sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Your mood has improved greatly since this morning."
"It has made a miraculous recovery," Jim remarked. "That's why we need to celebrate."
"But you haven't even told me what happened."
"We'll get to it," he told her. "That's why they invented pillow talk."
"You're all about inventions today, aren't you?"
Jim nodded. "It seems that way; let's go put them to use."
"I don't know," she hesitated.
He kissed her long and slowly. "Come on, sweetheart," he whispered in her ear. "It can be a little adventure for us…you know you want to."
She closed her eyes; she hated it when he was right. It was so good to see him being himself again; to have that affection he'd been withholding the last several days, and she just wanted to indulge in it for a little while. "Alright," she murmured. "But try not to mess my hair up too much, okay?"
He laughed quietly. "But messing up your hair is so much fun."
"Consider it a challenge not to," she quipped.
Jim nodded and took her hand. "Grab your bag and let's go; we don't have all day."
Johanna smirked at him. "Wow, that's so romantic."
He gave her a grin. "Don't you worry; you'll have all the romance you can handle before your break is over."
She laughed. "I'm going to hold you to that."
"Well, do you feel romanced?" Jim asked later on as they laid in her bed.
Johanna smiled, her hand caressing his chest. "Very; and I guess I should've seen this coming."
"Seen what coming?"
"This little lunch break rendezvous we're having here," she remarked. "I should've seen it coming this morning when you were making comments about how there were lunch breaks to consider when picking out my clothes."
He smiled. "Damn, I'm good. I had forgotten about making that comment and yet proved it anyway. Sweetheart, you've caught yourself a genius."
She rolled her eyes. "More like an occasionally conceited man. Now are you going to tell me what happened with Roche or not?"
"I hate to ruin a moment with shop talk."
"You're the one who said it would be pillow talk…you got what you wanted now give me what I want."
Jim grinned. "Don't act like you didn't get what you wanted, Jo; you did."
"Jim," she said as she swatted him. "You tell me what happened or you won't get in this bed for a very long time."
"That's harsh," he replied. "I would've thought this would've made you mellow; I'll have to try again tonight."
"There won't be any chance of tonight unless you start talking."
He sighed. "I did what I said I was going to do, I told Roche that I wanted off the case and when he asked why, I told him about how the other side wanted to pay us off to throw the case. I told him Steve and Charles were all for it and were putting pressure on me to go along with it even though I didn't want any part of it."
"How did Roche take it?"
"He was pissed. I was upstairs all morning because I had to go over the whole thing with him several times, telling him everything that had been said and done. He made a few calls checking into the background of the lawyer who wanted to pay us off; it's not the first time he's been involved in shady dealings but nothing's ever been proved before. It makes him a big draw to the companies like we're going up against. Needless to say but a new investigation is being launched into his business practices plus there will be more charges against the company he was representing since this was all being done on their behalf."
"Did you notify your client that this was going on?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah; Roche and I both talked to the president of the company. Roche informed them that Steve and Charles were being removed from their case immediately."
She smiled. "Had they been informed of that at that point?"
"No; that was part of the beauty of it," Jim replied. "He told the president of the company that I was now first chair on the case and that he'd assign two other attorneys to work with me in place of Steve and Charles."
"Has he decided who that's going to be?"
He nodded. "Zach and Sam."
"Good," Johanna replied. "At least you can trust them; plus you know you work well with them."
"Yeah; it's a huge relief to be working with people I can stand and who do their share of the work when they're supposed to."
"What happened with Charles and Steve?"
"Roche called them upstairs and confronted them about the situation; they tried to lie their way out of it but he wasn't believing it."
"Did they get fired?" she asked hopefully.
Jim smiled at her. "I'm sorry to disappoint you but no."
"Why not? He's always tearing into Charles for the way he handles things; isn't it time to get rid of him?"
"You'd think but apparently not. They're not getting away with it entirely though; Roche has informed them that he'll be checking into any recent loses they've had in search of any other indications that they've thrown cases and took bribes. He's not going to the bar association at this point about them because no money had changed hands yet and because he knows of no other instances right now; but he has his own set of laws, we'll say, regarding the firm. They're both being suspended in a sense until Roche and one of the other partners finishes their own investigation of both of them."
"I hope Stanley doesn't end up being the one involved with the investigation; if there is something there, you know he'll find a way to cover it up for them."
A satisfied smile slid across his lips. "I made sure to mention that to Roche."
Johanna giggled as he stole a quick kiss. "Good for you!"
"I knew you'd like that," Jim replied, his fingertips trailing along her spine.
"What does Roche's version of suspension imply? What about their caseloads?"
"Roche's suspension will last for two weeks; as for their caseloads, they'll have to reschedule everything that they're working on solo; anything that's in court that they're working on with someone else during those two weeks will be handed over to the co-counsel."
"How did they like that?" she asked.
He smiled. "They're livid. Steve was so pissed he could hardly see straight. Charles wasn't much better; and Roche did tell him that he's skating on thin ice. He's getting tired of the complaints about him and his screw ups; so your dream of him getting fired might come true one day soon. Roche keeps hesitating to fire him but I don't think that's going to last forever."
"He should've just done it today; we could've had a party this weekend," Johanna remarked.
"I thought the same thing," Jim admitted. "He should get rid of Steve too…and then Stanley."
"And then Melanie," she added. "With the added bonus that I get to hit her on her way out the door."
"Think happy thoughts, sweetheart," he laughed.
"That was a happy thought; all of them."
"Maybe one day we'll be rid of all the pests."
Johanna eyed him. "Did Steve and Charles say anything to you about blowing the whistle on them?"
"They said plenty," he replied. "But it's nothing I'm worried about."
"What did they say?"
Jim covered her hand with his. "They said I'd regret it one day…that one day I'm going to screw up and they'll get even with me for what I did. I'm not worried about them and I don't want you to worry either. They're just blowing hot air; they aren't going to step out of line when Roche's breathing fire on their asses and as mad as he is, I say he'll be cracking the whip on them pretty hard for a long time."
"Did they try to turn it around on you?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah; but thankfully Roche saw through them and didn't believe it. I guess I saved myself on that one by being the one to go to him."
"I told you going to Roche was the right thing to do."
He smiled as he threaded his fingers through her hair. "You have to make sure you get in that 'I told you so' don't you?"
"Of course, you'd think less of me if I didn't."
"I'm glad you were right," he murmured.
She held his gaze. "Everything's okay now? You don't need to worry anymore about it?"
"Everything's fine," he assured as he found her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. "Neither one of us need to worry about it anymore."
"I'm glad," Johanna whispered. "I don't like seeing you so tied up in knots."
"I didn't like it either."
"Do you think maybe the next time something's bothering you like that that maybe you could just tell me right off so we can try to work it out for you more quickly?" she asked.
Jim gave a nod. "Hopefully there won't be a next time for something like this…but next time I won't shut you out, sweetheart. I'm sorry that I pulled away from you; I didn't mean to…I hate to admit it but I didn't even really realize that I was doing it. If I hurt you, I apologize and I promise I'll make it up to you."
"It's alright," she told him as she caressed his face. "I didn't think you were being distant to be cruel or anything like that. I was just worried about you."
He kissed her. "You don't have to worry anymore; we can't get back to normal now. Those two idiots might throw some comments around…they might even throw them at you to get at me."
"I can take it," Johanna replied. "I'm not worried if you're not."
"I'm not."
She smiled before kissing him once more. "I'm glad it's all taken care of now."
"Me too…thank you."
"For what?"
Jim squeezed her hand. "For being here even when I was pushing you away…for promising to stand by me no matter what."
"You don't have to thank me for that," Johanna murmured. "I love you; I'll always stand by you."
He brushed a kiss against her lips. "Can you tell me what your plan B was going to be? I've been curious about that all morning."
Johanna grinned. "I was planning the most epic lawsuit…and all of my phone calls to take down Steve and Charles…and Roche if necessary. It was going to be great; I was taking everyone down from the bottom to the top. You might've been able to retire early with all the money I was going to get you."
He laughed. "Now I'm a little sorry that it all worked out."
She giggled. "Maybe if I played my cards right, I could've retired with you."
"There's no doubt about that," Jim remarked. "We'd be lounging on an island of your choice…but I would've demanded the right to pick your bikini."
"I would've gladly allowed you that privilege," she laughed.
"I guess we should've worked out the fine details before we decided which way we were hoping this would go," he said lightly.
"Another missed opportunity," she sighed. "Better luck next time."
He smiled as he held her gaze. "Thanks for being willing to go into battle for me."
She nodded. "I'm always willing to go into battle for you and with you."
"I'd do the same for you, you know that right?"
"Of course I do," she murmured before stealing another kiss.
Jim brushed back a lock of her hair. "I love you, Johanna."
Johanna smiled. "I love you too, honey."
He kissed her once more, wishing they could just stay where they were for the rest of the day but he knew they couldn't, they both had meetings scheduled for 1:30. As if she was reading his mind, Johanna sighed and then spoke. "I guess we better get ready to head back."
"I know but I hate to go."
"Me too…but you can always come back tonight," she murmured.
"You couldn't keep me away."
"I'm glad," she smiled. "Even if you did wreck my hair after I asked you not to."
"I tried very hard not to mess it up," he laughed.
"I don't think you tried all that hard."
"I didn't hear any complaints at the time."
Johanna smirked at him. "Don't be smug."
"I think I'm within my right to be smug," he quipped. "Don't worry about your hair; leave it down. I like it down."
"When I left work my hair was up."
"So?"
"So if I go back from a long lunch break with it down, everyone is going to know what I spent my break doing."
"They're going to know that from your hair?" he asked.
"That and your 'I won again and talked you into bed' grin you have on your face."
Jim laughed. "I'll try to tone down my grinning."
"You do that; I'll be putting my hair back up."
"If you insist," he sighed as she grabbed her robe from the foot of the bed and slipped it on.
"I do," she replied. "Don't procrastinate about getting out of bed like you did this morning; we both have meetings to get back to."
"I know," he said as he sat up. "But you have to admit one thing."
"What's that?"
He grinned. "That this was a better break than any that we've had in a diner or restaurant."
Johanna smiled and moved back to the bed to kiss him once more. "I freely admit that; my only regret is that we can't linger."
"Yeah; that's the only flaw with the plan."
"Well don't worry," she told him. "We have our vacation coming up in a couple weeks…we can do plenty of lingering then."
Jim tugged her down for another kiss. "I'm looking forward to it; I can't wait to take you away and have you all to myself."
"Me neither; I'm counting the days…and now with this little problem taken care of, you'll be able to really enjoy yourself," she told him.
He smiled. "I'm going to make it a perfect vacation for you."
"As long as we're together, it'll be perfect," Johanna remarked as she grabbed her clothes and headed for the bathroom.
Jim shared that sentiment but he was determined to make their first vacation as an official couple a perfect affair for her. He couldn't accept anything less; not when she deserved so much.
Authors Note: Vacation is the next chapter; I'll have it straightened out as soon as possible!