Reflections

by evitascarlett

A companion piece to 'Apologize'. Chronicling the lives and love story of Jim and Johanna Beckett through the years. See Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter One for more details! Cover art by LordofKavaka

54. Chapter 54-A Matter of Honor

Authors Note: Thanks for your reviews!

Chapter 54- A Matter of Honor

"Are you getting a bad feeling about this?" Maggie whispered to Johanna as they sat at a restaurant table, waiting for Sharon and her mother to join them.

"Yeah; I'm definitely picking up some bad vibes," Johanna replied. "Sharon's been eyeing me warily all day and she was wringing her hands when she suggested this little get together with her mother…so something is definitely up and we're not going to like it."

"Why do I have a feeling it involves more dress shopping?" Maggie muttered. "How much you want to bet she changed her mind about colors again."

"If she did, she's paying this time because I am not buying another dress."

"Me neither."

"Here they come," Johanna whispered.

She and Maggie fell silent as Sharon and her mother, Denise, joined them at the table with their plates from the buffet. Johanna could tell that Sharon was still antsy and it put her on edge as Mrs. Preston smiled…and it wasn't the natural, affectionate smile she was accustomed to seeing from her best friend's mother.

"I hope you girls are doing well," Mrs. Preston said as she eyed both Johanna and Maggie.

"We're fine," they both murmured, shifting in their seats as tension began to fill the air.

"Johanna, how is your mother? I haven't run in to her lately."

"She's fine; she and Dad went on a cruise, she's still gushing about it."

"That's wonderful," Denise replied. "How are you, dear? Are you still involved with your young man?"

Johanna nodded. "Yeah; we're still very involved."

"Good; I'm glad you finally found someone. I hated the thought of you being alone once Sharon was married."

Johanna smiled but there was a touch of venom in the gesture. "I wasn't aware that I'd be alone because Sharon's getting married. I do have other friends."

"Oh I know, dear; but it seemed like everyone had someone but you and I felt badly for you. I'm glad you found someone," Mrs. Preston said, giving her hand a friendly pat.

Sharon could see storm clouds building in Johanna's eyes. "Mom, maybe that's enough of that line of conversation. Johanna's very happy with Jim and that's all that matters."

"That's true," Denise agreed, her gaze shifting to Maggie. "How is your family, Margaret?"

Maggie cringed at the use of her given name. "I would really prefer that you call me Maggie," she told Mrs. Preston for what she was sure was the thousandth time since she had met the woman several months before.

"But Margaret is such a lovely name."

"I hate it," Maggie replied. "I've always hated it; if they wanted to name me after my grandmother, they should've stuck it in as a middle name."

"What is your middle name, dear?" the older woman asked.

"Felicity," Maggie answered. "And yes, I would've much rather had that as a first name."

"Well that's neither here nor there," Denise replied; "There's nothing to be done about it now. Is your family well?"

"They're fine, I'm fine, my boyfriend is fine," Maggie stated as she fidgeted in her seat next to Johanna.

"Can we just get this over with?" Johanna asked. "We're clearly here for a reason and I'd just really rather get it over with so I can get back to work on time."

Sharon took a breath and eyed them. "It's about the wedding."

"We figured that out on our own," Maggie told her. "What about it?"

Sharon stammered and hesitated. "Well…umm…it's just that…well…"

"Spit it out, Sharon," Johanna told her.

She shifted in her chair, chewing on her lip as she eyed her best friend. "Well…um…I think Mom can explain it better."

Johanna had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach as Denise Preston met her gaze. "Johanna, dear, I know that you're a compassionate girl and that you'll understand this…you see Philip's sister really wants to be a part of the bridal party and has been asking her brother to make that possible for her…she loves him so and wants to be a part of the big day."

"And?" Johanna asked. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Well, dear; it's very important to Peggy to be a part of things and Phil wants her to feel like she has her place…and she wants very much to be the maid of honor and Phil has asked Sharon if she'd mind making the switch…."

Her heart fell to her toes as she looked at the woman who was supposed to be her best friend. "And you told him no, right?" Johanna asked.

Sharon gave a sad wobbly smile. "We had a lot of discussion about it, Jo; and I just can't disappointment him, he loves his sister and I feel like I need to do this. I'm so sorry."

"Seriously?" Johanna asked. "You ask me to be your maid of honor and then just because some little girl wants to play dress up, you ditch me six weeks before the damn wedding? Are you serious?"

"Peggy is not a little girl," Denise declared. "She's seventeen."

"Big deal, she still isn't even out of high school. You don't even know her, Sharon!"

"Yes I do, I've spent plenty of time with her and she's a lovely girl. I can't hurt her feelings and deny her this…I can't hurt Phil by refusing his sister."

"But you can stab me in the back?" Johanna asked. "We've known each other since we were seventeen; we've been through a lot, I'm supposed to be your best friend although I have to admit that it doesn't really seem like it lately."

Mrs. Preston sighed. "Johanna, darling, these notions of best friends are childish things that should've been shaken off long ago. This has nothing to do with friendship, it has to do with family and loyalty; surely you can understand that."

"No, I don't understand it," she retorted. "What about loyalty to the person you ask first? What about the dress and shoes I already bought; and let's keep in mind that every other wedding I've been in, the bride has paid for the dresses of her bridal party; so what am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to be out that money?"

"No, of course not," Sharon replied. "I'm going to pay you back the money you spent on the dress and shoes."

"You're damn right you are," she said tartly.

"Since Sharon is going to reimburse you for your dress, Johanna; we would appreciate it if you'd give it to us for Peggy since it's late notice and we might not be able to get an exact match. It'll probably have to be altered a little; Peggy is shorter than you and…"

Johanna's brow rose. "And what?"

"And she doesn't have the figure you do."

"Meaning what?" she asked. "Are you offending me somehow? Because if you are, I'd much rather you be blunt about it."

Denise sighed. "You never used to be so fussy, Johanna. You're a lovely young woman, you have a figure many women would envy…you're slender and healthy…and while Peggy is also slender, she hasn't acquired the natural curves that you have, dear."

Maggie smirked. "So in other words, she's flat chested and has a boyish figure."

"Kind of," Sharon agreed, her gaze avoiding Johanna's.

"I can't believe this," Johanna muttered. "All the crap I've listened to, helped you with, the dress shopping, the changing of colors every time the damn mood struck and your one am phone calls asking if I thought you picked the right flowers and if you should buy new earrings and you're kicking me out of your wedding for a school girl who doesn't really know you, who hasn't been your friend…who doesn't know your secrets…like that time you scratched the hell out of your father's car and covered it up with nail polish and blamed it on your sister!"

"Sharon!" Denise exclaimed. "You let your poor sister take the fall for that and it was you!"

Sharon narrowed her eyes at Johanna. "You swore you'd never tell anyone about that."

"I lied," she retorted; "How do you like it?"

"Jo," she sighed; "You've got to understand that I really have no choice."

"Yes you do, but you let Phil walk all over you."

"I want to make him happy."

"It makes you happy to do this?" she asked. "It makes you happy to have him dictate who gets to fill that role in your wedding? That was your choice and now he's taking it from you and you're letting him. I know he doesn't like me but this is a little extreme even for him."

"Phil likes you," Sharon replied.

"No he doesn't, Sharon; I already know all about it…and I think you probably do too, so drop the act. You don't want me to be your maid of honor, fine, then just say so. You never needed to hide behind your mommy before when it came to telling me what's on your mind so why start now? If you're fine with it and think it's hunky dory, then have the God damn guts to look me in my face and tell me yourself, don't hide behind your mother's skirts and let her do your dirty work. When did you get to be such a coward?" Johanna asked.

Sharon licked her lips and then glared at her. "Probably at the same time you started being a bitch."

Johanna smiled. "I was born a bitch…and apparently, so were you. I want my check by the end of the day. I'll bring the dress and shoes tomorrow and you can shove them and your wedding."

Denise pursed her lips in dismay. "Johanna, really; there isn't any reason to carry on like this. You need to understand that Sharon's loyalty must lie with Philip; they're joining families and the members of those families are more important than naming a friend to a spot in the bridal party. I know you and Sharon have been friends for a long time, and because of that, you should be more understanding.'

She scoffed. "Yeah; I should be a lot of things but I'm not. Go ahead, Sharon, let Peggy be your maid of honor, it's your wedding, it's your life. I wouldn't stand up there next to you now even if you begged me to. If you want Phil to keep on controlling you, you go for it."

"He doesn't control me!" Sharon retorted.

"Yeah he does," Maggie agreed; "And since I have a feeling I know where this is going, which one of his relatives is replacing me in the bridal party…that is why I'm here, isn't it?"

Sharon glanced to her mother and Denise took the initiative. "Yes; that is why you're here. It isn't a member of Phil's family that we're replacing you with; it's a member of our family. You see, Sharon's oldest sister, Suzanne, feels a bit slighted by not being included in the bridal party, and since her sister, Alison, is a bridesmaid as well as a few cousins and of course with Peggy now being maid of honor, it just feels as though the right thing to do would be for you to step aside in favor of Suzanne…and of course, like in Johanna's case, Sharon will reimburse you for your dress and shoes and we'll use them for Suzy. Your hips are a little wider than hers but I'm sure they can take it in a little."

Maggie glared at the woman. "My hips aren't wide."

"I'm not saying they're overly large," Sharon's mother replied. "I'm just saying that Suzanne is a bit narrower than you. You'll be thankful for those hips when you're ready to have children."

"Oh my God," Maggie muttered as she looked at Johanna. "Are my hips that big? Jeff hasn't said anything about my hips."

"You do not have big hips," Johanna told her. "We wear the same size jeans; you're fine; she's disillusioned."

"God I hope so," Maggie replied. "She's disillusioned and Sharon's too much of a coward to come talk to us about her issues."

"I'm not a coward," Sharon retorted.

"Yeah you are," Maggie replied; "And if anybody has big birthing babies hips, it's you. When you write out Johanna's check at the end of the day, you better write out mine too because I want it today, no excuses. I don't need your wedding, stick it."

"I haven't uninvited either of you," Sharon replied. "I'm just asking you both to understand that I have to make last minute changes to my bridal party and that it meant asking the two of you to step down."

"Yes, this shouldn't be a big thing," Denise agreed. "It's much better to keep the bridal party family oriented so that no one feels left out; surely you girls can understand, after all, hopefully one day you'll each plan weddings and you'll have to make choices about your bridal party."

"Yeah; I know," Johanna remarked. "But I'll be the one doing the picking of my attendants, not my fiancé and a high school kid."

Maggie nodded in agreement. "Yeah; those choices are mine. The groom gets to pick his attendants and the bride picks hers…the groom isn't supposed to tell you to dump your maid of honor who's been your best friend for nearly a decade. That's just dirty pool, and I think you know it, Sharon."

Sharon's gaze moved from Maggie to Johanna. "I'm sorry, Jo…I figured you'd understand."

"Oh I understand perfectly," she replied. "Phil runs your life and you're okay with that, so hey, whatever you want. Write out my check at the end of the day, tomorrow you'll have the dress and shoes and we'll call it a day for this wedding nonsense."

"Don't be like that," Sharon said. "You can still throw my bridal shower; Peggy isn't old enough to do that."

Johanna laughed. "You think I'm going to throw you a bridal shower after you just ditched me as maid of honor? Are you out of your damn mind? I'm not throwing you anything. If Peggy's old enough to be maid of honor, she's old enough to take the responsibilities of the role. The plans I started to make are easily canceled…and they will be by the close of business today. Let Phil help his sister throw you one."

"Hey, let your sisters do it," Maggie threw in; "After all, you wouldn't want anyone to feel slighted, and please, don't feel obligated to invite me to it. I'm busy that night."

Sharon sighed. "There's no reason why the two of you can't handle it like you already planned."

"I've had a sudden change of plans," Johanna replied. "I've been released from my obligation and it's now the responsibility of the person replacing me. If that's undesirable to you…well, that's your misfortune. You don't need to invite me either, I'm busy too."

"Come on you two, don't be this way; this doesn't have to be such a big deal."

"Yes, let's not be petty, Johanna," Denise remarked. "You never used to be this way. Where is that nice young girl I always knew?"

She smiled as she held the older woman's gaze. "She grew up, Mrs. Preston. She grew up and she got lied to, cheated on, stabbed in the back, and taught a whole lot of lessons. My naiveté wore off a long time ago…and I'm growing weary of being nice just so people can walk on me…especially the people who mean the most to me."

"I think you could be a little more understanding," Mrs. Preston said.

"Well I don't understand," Johanna said tartly as she grabbed her purse. "I don't understand at all how you put people through all the wedding planning and then at the last minute tell them that they're not going to be involved. That's what I call rude and ignorant and if I didn't take this little bombshell the way you would've liked, that's too bad. Now are we done here or do you have anything else to spring on me? Are you resigning as my secretary next?"

"No!" Sharon exclaimed. "Why would I do that?"

Johanna laughed. "Well Phil might want you to work for him once you get married; after all, if you're in my office he can't see what you're doing all the time. So if that's coming next; you just go ahead and tell me and I'll start interviewing other people to take your place, no problem; see you're replaceable too…it's just too bad Peggy can't take your place."

Sharon looked stricken by the comment. "I'm not resigning, Johanna. Stop being this way. I can't help it that I had to make changes; it's not like you're my family!"

She studied her long and hard; there was a time when they had claimed each other as family. Apparently those days were over…and maybe their friendship was too. It had been changing drastically ever since Sharon got engaged and this newest development was just the icing on the cake. It was true that she wasn't a huge fan of wedding planning, but she had been happy to be a part of her best friend's big day even if she did drive her crazy about it…and sometimes neglected her work. It hurt to be ditched for a 17 year old girl who didn't have any history with her…and it made her angry that Sharon had just basically slapped her and Maggie in the face with her last minute plans. She opened her purse and took out her checkbook, flipping through the registry to find the prices of the dress and shoes. When she found them, she took out a pen and grabbed a napkin, tallying up the total. "Here's what you owe me," she told Sharon as she slid the napkin across the table. "Make sure the check is on my desk by the end of the day."

"I'll write it out now since it's so important to you," Sharon retorted as she grabbed her purse and pulled out her own checkbook.

"Go ahead and write mine out too," Maggie replied. "The amount will be the same."

Sharon wrote out the two checks and handed them to her friends with a hint of a glare. "I want the dresses and shoes in the morning now that I paid for them."

Johanna rose from her chair. "Oh don't worry, Sharon; you'll have that dress…I might wrap it around your neck for you to be sure you see it."

"Same here," Maggie told her as she got up as well. "I'm assuming lunch is on you, since I don't believe in paying for lunches where I get ambushed. See you around."

Johanna didn't waste her time saying goodbye; she merely turned and walked away, letting Sharon and her mother with the check just as Maggie had done. "She's got some nerve," Maggie said angrily as they left the restaurant and headed up the side walk.

"Yeah she does," Johanna agreed. "She's turning into a different person…and it's not one I like very much."

"Me neither. I sure as hell never expected this."

"Neither did I," Johanna said softly. Her best friend plunged a knife in her back…and it felt like some sort of omen…like their friendship was drawing to a close.

---

"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" Jim asked that evening as he sat on Johanna's sofa and watched her gather up wedding magazines.

"It's nothing really," she replied as she sat down the small stack of dog eared magazines and went into the kitchen where she knew a few more were sitting on the counter.

Jim frowned but bided his time, waiting for her to return. When he drove her home from work, he invited himself to stay for dinner…and he fully intended to invite himself to spend the night even though it was Thursday. He felt like it was necessary to stick around whenever he could…the aftershocks of their breakup and reunion were still being felt and Johanna wasn't quite herself despite the fact that she had forgiven him and welcomed him back into her bed. So far she was sticking to her promise of not staying with him on the weekends despite his best attempts at cajoling her. Johanna stayed with him on Friday nights after they went out, but she'd only bring along a small tote bag with a change of clothes for the next day. A soft regretful sigh crossed his lips; when she stayed, she was now up and out the door by the ten the next morning, taking everything with her and leaving nothing behind…not even a stray bobby pin to signal that she had been there at all.

He picked up his soda from the stand and took a drink as he listened to her moving around in the kitchen; she was also holding back with him in some small ways. He could see her choosing her words at times, carefully composing her thoughts on anything she feared he might take the wrong way. She wasn't saying 'I love you' as much as she usually did. He knew that her feelings hadn't changed…he just had a feeling that she felt like she couldn't express them as much as she was used to. She wasn't sharing everything with him like she usually did; there were things she was holding back that he knew she would've shared with him before.

It was like she had put up a small wall of sorts, pulling back in regard to the feelings she clearly thought he still held. He had said things that he knew was sticking with her. In private, she was still affectionate and playful, loving and attentive…but there were times when she'd quietly pull back…offer him a subtle out from spending a lot of time with her…as if his words about her clinging to him were running through her head on a loop. He knew that she also recalled him making the statement that she always wanted things her way…and so she didn't offer suggestions or opinions about their dates these days. Jim wasn't sure he could even remember the last time she had suggested a restaurant or movie for them to go to. She seemed to be leaving everything up to him. He wasn't fan of this new way of hers, and in retaliation, he had taken her to a Sci-fi movie a few days before in an attempt to provoke her into protesting as he knew she hated the genre. When he had announced the plan for their evening, her nose betrayed the slightest hint of a wrinkle of distaste…but she had pasted a smile on her lips and sat through it without complaint. He had watched her from the corner of his eye the whole time, and he figured between her day dreams and the half hour she had dozed off for, she had probably planned her strategies for the next week's court cases and mentally reviewed her shopping list, because he knew the movie didn't have her attention. His plan had failed…but he had a feeling she wouldn't stay quiet on the topic for long if he just provoked her enough…and he wanted to, as soon as the boat was back in calmer waters. He wanted his opinionated Jo back; he wanted her to go back to telling him that if he wanted to see some movie about space ships and aliens to go right ahead, she'd be in the next theater watching something of substance and quality. He smiled to himself; he liked when she made her sassy remarks like that.

In public, among their friends in social settings, she was a bit different than usual as well. She became more reserved and didn't offer any public displays of affection. She made no comments that might invite teasing or knowing smirks. Occasional hand holding was as far as she let it go lately in front of their friends. She didn't speak of marriage in any way shape or form, publicly or privately. He wasn't used to her controlling herself like that and he didn't like it…he didn't like it at all. Johanna wasn't a woman to be caged; and to see her putting herself behind gilded bars in regard to his recent behaviors wasn't something he enjoyed watching…but he understood; his insecurities had triggered hers, she had said so herself.

The only place she really seemed most like herself was in bed… holding back in those other aspects seemed to increase her passion in that area. Jim didn't mind the extra dash of spice to their already red hot romantic escapades…but he did mind everything else. He wanted back his open, extremely affectionate, opinionated, and passionate in all aspects Johanna. He wanted her to put controlled and reserved Johanna back into whatever box she had found her in and then forget where she put the box.

He had formed a plan the week before though, and he was sticking to it as much as she was sticking to hers. The best way to bring her back around fully would be to woo her. Jim supposed it probably seemed a little ridiculous, after all, they were together…but he needed to get them back where they were, and so he'd been bringing her flowers, candy, small 'just because' presents, like the delicate silver necklace with it's butterfly pendent that she had been wearing around her neck the last few days. He was taking her out more, staying with her often, especially on the weekends, when her departure was a good excuse for a lunch date…which then became a good excuse for him to take her home and stay until Sunday night. She hadn't sent him away…she seemed to enjoy the surprise of flowers and candy…the extra attention made her smile. Sometimes it even seemed like nothing had happened; that there hadn't been any breakup…but then it was as if something in the back of her mind caught up with her and she'd pull back a little again.

Johanna returned to the room with a paper shopping bag and put the magazines inside it and then headed for the bedroom, leaving Jim puzzled as he tried to figure out what she was doing. She returned a minute later, carrying a dress bag and a shoebox. The shoes went into the shopping bag and she draped the dress over the back of the chair.

"What's that?" Jim asked.

"My dress for Sharon's wedding," she answered as she settled down on the opposite end of the sofa.

"She didn't change her mind about the dresses this late in the game, did she?"

"No."

"Does it need altered?"

"No."

Jim slid down the sofa toward her. "What's going on, Jo? You were fine this morning but I could tell as soon I picked you up at the office that you were upset about something."

She chewed on her bottom lip; she hated that she felt so hesitant to speak of anything relating to Sharon's wedding but she worried that she'd somehow say something that would make him think that she was still harboring thoughts of wedding bells of her own.

His knuckle bumped her chin up. "Come on, sweetheart; talk to me…I hate that you've been so quiet about things that are bothering you lately. I want you to tell me what's on your mind like you always did."

She took a breath and forced herself to let go of her insecurities for the moment. "I'm not Sharon's maid of honor anymore."

Silence fell for a moment as Jim turned those words over in his mind. "What do you mean you're not her maid of honor anymore? The wedding is six weeks away, what happened? I thought you two and Maggie were having lunch together today; did you fight? Who's going to be the maid of honor if it isn't you?"

"We didn't fight…and we did have lunch. She had her mother join us…that should've been my big tip off. She didn't have the guts to tell me that she was dropping me as maid of honor; she had her mother do it. The invitation to lunch was an ambush."

"I'm still missing details here, Jo. Why did she drop you?"

"Because Phil told her that his sister wants to be maid of honor and he wants her to do it."

"Phil's sister is a little girl!" Jim exclaimed.

"She's seventeen."

"She's still a kid, what business does she have being the maid of honor? She doesn't know Sharon like you do."

"It doesn't seem to matter," Johanna replied. "It's what Phil wants so she's giving in to him…and her mother says I should be understanding of that because there's the matter of 'family loyalty'."

"What about the loyalty to you?" he said angrily. "You're the one who's been helping her do everything; she asked you! What the hell is wrong with her?"

She shrugged. "I guess she wants to make Phil happy…whatever he says she seems to do."

"That doesn't make it right!"

"Oh believe me; I know…I can't believe she did this to me."

"So I guess you're taking the dress and shoes back to the store?"

"No," Johanna replied. "They want them for Peggy."

"You're not giving them your dress for that little twit!" Jim bellowed. "Let them go buy her a goddamn dress, I'd burn that son of a bitch before I handed it over to her. Get me some damn matches, I'll do it myself."

She smiled at him despite the sheen of tears in her eyes. "She gave me a check for the price of the dress and shoes."

"Bitch," Jim muttered. "I can't believe she'd be that ignorant to you, and that bastard Phil for asking her to ditch her best friend in the first place. You wait until I get a hold of him tomorrow."

"Don't do that," Johanna murmured. "It isn't worth it and you can't always fight my battles for me…or defend my honor all the time. You'll never get anything done if you do."

"I make special time for it in my schedule," he replied, anger simmering in his veins at the treatment she had received.

"She kicked Maggie out of the wedding party too."

Jim scoffed. "Who's she replacing her with? Phil's grandmother?"

She laughed a little. "No, her older sister…because they don't want anyone to feel slighted."

"That's rich," he spat. "How are you and Maggie supposed to feel?"

"We're supposed to just be understanding and compassionate and bow out as we accept the checks for our dresses and shoes."

He shook his head. "They've got a hell of a lot of nerve."

"Yeah, I thought so too," she replied before filling him in on other details of the conversation, especially Sharon's mother telling her that the adage of 'best friends' was a childish one.

"It's childish to have a best friend?" he asked. "Since when? Jeff's my best friend; next to you of course, but still, I didn't realize we were all being childish when we associated that term with someone."

"It blew my mind too," Johanna remarked. "And then Sharon has the nerve to tell me that I can still throw her bridal shower because Peggy's too young to do that."

"Is she out of her damn mind?" he exclaimed. "She thinks you're still going to do that? Please tell me you told her to shove her wedding and go to hell. Please tell me that you're not going to throw that shower, Johanna…because doing it now would just look like she was being charitable toward you and it's degrading. I don't mean to sound controlling but I won't let you do it…I'll lock you in the closet first. Tell her to throw her own damn shower."

"I'm not throwing her shower and I told her so. I told her that if Peggy is old enough to be maid of honor than she ought to be old enough to take on all the responsibilities."

"What are all the responsibilities?" Jim asked. "I know you're supposed to help with the planning and getting the bride ready, holding her flowers and throwing the shower, but is there more?"

"There's all kinds of little things," she replied as she got up from the sofa and went to the shopping bag and pulled out one of the magazines. She flipped to an article that listed all the duties of the maid of honor and handed it to him.

"A seventeen year old girl is supposed to do all of this?" he said when he finished reading. "She's supposed to take charge of everything?"

"More power to her," Johanna remarked. "That's what Sharon wants, that's what she'll get. I'm done. I'm not lifting a finger to help her with anything else for this damn wedding. If someone else throws her a shower, I'm not going. Maybe I won't even go to the wedding, after all, it's not like I'm family or anything; that's what she said…I'm not family…"

Jim's gaze shifted away from the magazine as he heard her voice crack. He knew that in her heart she considered Sharon to be a part of her family…she was her sister just as much as Colleen was despite the lack of blood ties and she had obviously thought that Sharon felt the same way. For Sharon to slap her in the face like this was cruel and harsh and if she had been in front of him, Jim was sure he'd have to fight the urge to throttle her. How dare she treat Johanna so callously, and Maggie too for that matter? His anger at Sharon would have to wait though, Johanna was trying so hard not to cry and he needed to comfort her. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

She shrugged. "I don't care," she said; her voice trembling despite the bravado she was trying to portray. "I'm not all that crazy about weddings anyway; all the crap you have to put up with. Maid of honor is really just a fancy title for 'Bride's punching bag' you know? Who needs that? I think she's making a mistake marrying him anyway, why should I be a party to it? It doesn't matter; it's not like I asked to be in the wedding in the first place. If she doesn't want me there, that's fine, I don't care," she rambled as she desperately tried to keep from crying.

Jim pulled her into a tight hug. "Go ahead and cry, sweetheart; you're allowed. You don't have to pretend not to be hurt, I know you are...it's okay to cry about it."

"I don't want to be hurt about it," she cried. "It's stupid."

"No, it isn't stupid. Brides always pick their sister or best friend to be their maid of honor; she picked you and put you threw all the planning, shopping, ect and now she's threw you over just because Phil wants to play saintly big brother or just be an ass…or both. You've been there for Sharon for a long time and she hurt you; you have every right to cry about that, to be mad and sad and anything else you want to be."

A small sense of relief filled him as she snuggled closer and allowed herself to cry as he held her. He murmured soothing words in her ear as his hand moved against her arm in a comforting caress. "She'll get what she has coming to her one day, Jo," he whispered. "Someone will hurt her like that…we can only hope it'll be you so that it'll be the right kind of payback."

Johanna sniffed and swiped at her tears but she remained in the circle of his arms which he took as a good sign. "When we were younger, we always talked about how we were going to be each other's maid of honor," she said softly. "Maybe they were just stupid teenage girl musings, but I guess I always thought it would happen like that anyway. For the last several months its seemed like we've bounced back and forth between being the kind of friends we always were and being strangers in a way…like we're growing apart. I think I told you about that before, when you took me to see my aunt Bridget."

Jim nodded. "I remember; you said things were different and that you felt out of place."

"Yeah…and I still do. I know it's supposed to be this way; she's moving on to a new part of her life and I'm not going to be a big part of that anymore. I get that and I understand it…I guess I just wanted to do this last 'best friend' type of thing before I got quietly pushed out and faded into being more of her boss than her friend…because I really see it becoming that way. Phil doesn't want us to be friends; that comes through loud and clear…and I truly believe that when she gets married that will be the end of our friendship. There's nothing I can do about it…and in some ways it hurts and in other ways I want to say 'fine, go, I don't care, I don't need you' but it's hard…we've been through a lot, we were still kids when we met…I guess it's hard to let go of that last thread of childhood…to the person I was at seventeen. It sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"No; it doesn't. Losing or feeling like you're losing a friend never feels good, especially when the reason for it is so weak. Marriage shouldn't mean that every part of your life before the ring gets slipped on has to be tossed aside. I don't feel like you're wrong to feel the way you do, Jo. How could you not feel that way?"

She sniffled, her arm tightening around his middle as she held on to him. "I don't want to be hurt over it…I wish I could just turn it off and not care…I don't want to care…I tell myself I don't; but I do. I keep asking myself what I might've done to make her go along with Phil so easily? I mean, there have been moments when she's drove me crazy with the planning and sometimes I get mad when she's allowing it to distract her from getting her work done, but overall I thought I was handling it well."

"You were," Jim agreed. "You haven't been nearly as stressed with this wedding as you were with Colleen's. I haven't heard the two of you fighting over anything wedding related…when you were frustrated you shared that privately with me or Maggie; I don't think you've shown much of that to her, unless she's not getting her work done and then you're well within your right. I know you vetoed a few dresses but that comes with the territory."

"You know, it stings enough being dropped the way I was…but to replace me with a teenager? That just feels cold."

"It is cold," he remarked. "Cold and dirty. You didn't deserve that, Jo. She ought to be ashamed of herself; her and Phil both."

Johanna scoffed as she swiped at her cheek. "I'm sure Phil feels real good about himself. He found a way to put a wedge in our friendship…he probably feels very proud."

He gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm willing to go punch him in the face for you."

She gave a soft laugh as she angled her head to look at him. "I want to punch him in the face."

Jim nodded. "Okay; I'll hold him down so you can punch him in the face."

She smiled; lightness touching her damp green eyes. "Don't tempt me like that."

"Sweetheart, say the word and we'll drive over to his place and do it. If Sharon's there you can hit her too; she deserves it."

"I was tempted to reach across the table at lunch and slap her," Johanna admitted.

"You should've; I would've paid your bail, no problem."

"I appreciate that," she murmured as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do to help you feel better, sweetheart?"

She was quiet for a moment and lifted her head to look at him. "Stay," she whispered.

Another measure of relief filled him; she was asking him to stay instead of him just doing so without any discussion. "I already planned on it," he told her. "You couldn't get rid of me if you wanted to."

"Good; I don't want to."

He wrapped both arms around her in a tight embrace. "No matter what happens between you and Sharon, it'll be okay. You'll be fine without her if it comes to that; you have plenty of friends, like Maggie, Sally, and Claudia to name a few…you have Jeff and Zach…and most of all, you have me."

She nodded, a fresh batch of tears pushing to the surface. "You're the one who matters most…but I guess it's just going to sting for awhile."

"Yeah; it will…but it'll be alright."

Johanna made no move to leave the circle of his arms and Jim dipped his head to press a kiss against her hair. Anger still filled him over the treatment she had received…and he was going to make sure that anger was expressed to the man responsible.

---

Jim and Jeff were filling their coffee mugs the next afternoon when Phil entered the break room.

"Don't forget that we have to go see about the tuxedos," Phil stated as he moved to the counter to pour his cup of coffee. "Six o'clock this evening."

"I'm not going," Jim stated; his voice carefully controlled despite the fury in his blood.

"What do you mean you're not going?" Phil asked. "We can't keep putting this off, Sharon's getting pissed about it."

"Isn't that a crying shame," Jeff remarked, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

Phil gave him an odd look before shifting his attention back to Jim. "What's so important that you can't come?"

"My girlfriend," he remarked.

Their friend rolled his eyes. "You can take Johanna out afterwards."

"We haven't made any plans for tonight," Jim replied. "We made them for tomorrow night when we thought I was going to be held up with this fitting business."

"Then what's the problem?"

Jim turned to look him in the eye. "It's not a problem, Phil; at least not to me; it's really very simple. I'm not being in your wedding."

"Why the hell not?" Phil demanded to know. "It's awful late notice to drop out now."

Jim smiled. "Well you see, I think it was pretty late notice of Sharon to ditch Johanna as her maid of honor but I understand you were behind that…not that it came as a surprise. I wouldn't be able to stand up there in good conscience knowing what you did; knowing that you talked Sharon into dumping her best friend at the last minute. That was dirty, Phil; you talked her into giving Jo the boot and to add insult to injury, you're replacing her with a school girl. I don't know which one of you pisses me off more, you for thinking up this scheme or Sharon for allowing it to happen. I think you're both dirty; all the work she's done put in with Sharon on this wedding and then you two kick her to the curb like she's worthless? Did you really think after hearing about what you two had done to her that I was really going to still stand up there as one of your groomsmen? No. Hell no. You couldn't pay me enough and as far as I'm concerned, you and Sharon deserve each other each other and you both can shove this wedding up your asses because I'm not taking any part in it."

Phil's features were tight with aggravation. "My sister wants to be in the wedding party and I'm not going to deny her just to spare Johanna's precious little feelings. My sister is more important than she is. I told her I would get her into Sharon's bridal party like she wanted. Johanna will have to grow up and get over it."

"If your precious baby sister wanted to be in the wedding," Jim said, his voice carrying a heavy amount of sarcasm; "Then you should've made her a bridesmaid. She's a kid, Phil. She has no business being maid of honor."

"Peggy wanted to be maid of honor, and what my sister wants, I make sure she gets."

"You mean like that T-Bird she drives around in," Jeff commented. "The car you bought her despite your father saying he didn't want her to have a brand new sports car when she's just starting out…and how you have to pay the bills for it because he said he's not giving her a dime for something he doesn't approve of?"

"I love my sister," Phil retorted. "Our father was just being a tightwad and overbearing when she asked."

"I love my sister too," Jim remarked; "But I'm not buying her a car and I sure as hell wouldn't ask my fiancée to take away the role she already assigned to her best friend."

"Peggy wanted this and I made sure she got it," Phil said snidely. "Peggy is my family and soon to be Sharon's; Johanna is nothing. I heard all about her little temper tantrum when she found out about the switch. She needs to grow up and get over this attachment she has to Sharon. If she wants a sister, she can call the one her parents provided for her. She needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her. This is our wedding, not hers."

"Maybe Peggy needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her," Jeff stated before Jim could even get a word out.

"My sister is perfectly fine and she'll be a wonderful maid of honor for Sharon. It'll show the unity of our two families."

"Bull," Jeff scoffed.

"You know what I think, Phil?" Jim said as he eyed him. "I think you're jealous of Johanna. You're jealous of her professionally because you can't stand that a mere woman is on par with you…and not just that, nine times out of ten, she's better than you; after all, one of your clients did dump you for her. I think you're jealous of her friendship with Sharon, that's been going on long before you came into the picture. I think you're afraid that Jo knows more about her than you do. I think you're afraid that Sharon tells Jo more than she tells you…that she's always going to confide in Johanna. You can't stand that Johanna knows a part of Sharon's history that you weren't there for. You want to come between them because you don't want Sharon to have anyone but you, especially when it comes to Jo. You don't like Johanna; and you can lie and say you do all you want, but we all know the truth; you don't like any woman that's on par with you and will tell you to go to hell without batting an eye. You're still holding a grudge about that client that chose her…and now you saw your opportunity to not only get even for that, but to drive a wedge in her friendship with Sharon. Congratulations, Phil; you're now a world class bastard."

"I don't have anything against Johanna," Phil spat. "This is about uniting my family with Sharon's and if that means Johanna has to get her toes stepped on than so be it because she isn't family and she never will be. I don't give a damn who Sharon's friends are but they're not going to rule our lives and she won't be running off with Johanna and Maggie at the drop of a hat when she's got a home and a husband to tend so Johanna may as well get used to things being different. As for Johanna being better than me at my job; I find that laughable. I don't give a damn about that client that chose her, if that's what he wants, more power to him, I have others."

"Don't act like it doesn't bother you; it does," Jim retorted. "It's been burning you for a long time."

"It doesn't matter. This is how it's going to be. Peggy is the maid of honor now and Johanna can pout all she wants. Sharon told her she could still throw the bridal shower but that wasn't good enough for her."

"Can you blame her?" Jim laughed bitterly. "She's no longer good enough to be the maid of honor but she's good enough to lay out money to pay and host a bridal shower for someone who just stabbed her in the back? Do you two hear yourselves? That was a slap in her face and you know what, even though I don't try to control her like you control Sharon, even if she did want to throw this shower, I wouldn't let her. I'd find a way to keep her from doing it because what you two did was dirty and she isn't going to degrade herself for either one of you with your charity offer of throwing the shower. She's no longer welcome to be in the wedding party than neither am I."

"Fine," Phil sneered. "I don't need you; go ahead and do what your girlfriend wants you to do."

"Johanna doesn't have any idea that I was telling you that I wasn't dropping out of this wedding," Jim shot back.

"I just bet," he retorted as he turned to look at Jeff. "I'll see you at six."

"No you won't," Jeff replied. "I'm not going to be in your wedding either."

"What the hell is your problem now? You're taking up for Johanna too?"

"No, Jim's capable of handling that department alone, although I am fully on her side. I'm taking up for Maggie who was also given the shaft. You see, I'm not stupid. Once you had Sharon talked into giving Johanna the boot then Maggie had to go too, because it wouldn't look right to dump one friend and not the other, now would it? And then to have your sister in the wedding when one of Sharon's wasn't, that didn't look right either, so in order to make it look all neat and tidy, an all family event, Maggie had to be dumped along with Johanna. It all comes back to you, Phil. Sharon's oldest sister didn't just suddenly start feeling slighted six weeks before the wedding…just like your baby sister didn't just suddenly want to be maid of honor. Oh I believe she wanted to be in the wedding…but I think she had some help with the idea of just what it was she wanted to be. You want Sharon to start cutting some of the ties she has with her friends before she becomes Mrs. Philip Harper; and slapping them in the face this late in the wedding game was just the thing to guarantee a rift, now wasn't it? Well now it's created another one, because like Jim, I won't stand up with anyone who maneuvers things so that my girlfriend gets treated like trash."

"You two are really going to back out because your girlfriends aren't in the wedding?" Phil said.

They nodded. "We stand by our women," Jeff stated.

"I can't believe this," Phil muttered as he shook his head.

"Believe it," Jim told him firmly. "We're not changing our minds."

"Fine; I don't need either one of you if you want to be that way," Phil remarked tersely before turning and storming away.

When he was gone, Jeff turned to Jim. "He took it well, don't you think?"

Jim grinned. "Oh yeah; he took it well…the vein in his forehead that was popping out didn't take it too well though."

Jeff shook his head. "Isn't that a shame?"

"Yeah; it sure is…maybe now he'll learn that treating people like garbage comes back to bite him in the ass."

"Oh I doubt it; you know how he is…but at least he knows where we stand."

Jim nodded. "We stand by Johanna and Maggie…he's the one who's nothing; him and Sharon both."

---

"How could you do this?" Sharon asked as she stormed into Johanna's office at the end of the day.

Johanna glanced up from the papers she was putting in her briefcase; confusion filling her eyes. "Do what?"

"You know what!" her secretary retorted.

Johanna shook her head. "No, I'm afraid I don't, Sharon. What are you talking about? I haven't had time to do anything between clients and court appearances today."

Sharon glared at her. "You made Jim drop out of the wedding! He's not going to be one of Phil's groomsmen anymore and neither is Jeff!"

Her eyes widened in surprise; he hadn't mentioned those plans to her. "What?"

"Don't play stupid," Sharon seethed. "You know all about it!"

"No, I don't," Johanna said tartly. "Jim didn't tell me anything about it and I don't like the accusations you seem to be making here."

"I don't give a damn what you like," she scoffed. "I just bet you didn't have anything to do with it. I know you, Johanna; you were pissed because I had to make the change for maid of honor and so you told Jim to drop out so you could get even; and Jeff has to do everything his buddy does, only in this case, I'm sure Maggie encouraged it and he dropped out too."

"I didn't have anything to do with this," Johanna replied; her voice tinged with anger. "Getting even with you isn't on my agenda, and even if it was, that wouldn't be the way to do it. Jim's a grown man, I don't tell him what to do! He makes his own decisions."

"Don't give me that; you always want to get even when someone pisses you off; I've known you for a long time, I know how your brain operates. You're always the scorned victim looking to serve up some comeuppance to whoever dares to cross you; that's probably why you became a lawyer; you get to make it part of your job description."

Johanna's eyes narrowed as she looked at her best friend. "If that's what you think, then you don't know me at all. I'm not interested in seeking revenge over your bridal party. You picked me, you ditched me; you want a school girl taking care of that job, by all means, more power to you, I don't give a damn."

Sharon scoffed. "If you didn't give a damn, you wouldn't be pissed about it."

"I was pissed about it because of the way you did it, Sharon; and you know that. You just want to walk in here like you're miss big bad ass and you're going to take me down a peg or something, well honey, good luck to you on that; because I'm innocent of this one; so you might want to walk yourself back out the door and go bark up another tree."

Sharon gave a short laugh. "If anyone thinks they're miss big bad ass, it's you."

Johanna held her gaze. "I don't have to think it, I know it. Get out of my office; we have nothing left to say to each other right now."

"That's what you think," Sharon said as she stepped closer to the desk and flattened her palms against the surface.

She sighed; it seemed like her secretary was spoiling for a fight so she may as well let her have at it. "Fine, Sharon; say your piece and get it over with."

"I think your sister was right," Sharon stated tartly. "I think you do get jealous of someone having something you don't have; so you do everything in your power to spoil it! That's why you and your sister fought through the majority of her wedding plans; she's younger than you and has a career and a husband and you couldn't stand it; especially when your mother kept pointing out what you lack; because let's face it, Jo; all you really have is that damn law degree hanging on the wall. So I'm thinking that maybe Colleen wasn't the problem last year; maybe the problem was you! You just can't stand it when someone gets engaged and starts planning a wedding because you're still sitting on the sidelines…always a bridesmaid and never a bride…and that's all you're ever going to be."

"You don't know that," Johanna said sharply. "And I'm not envious of anything that you or Colleen has…and I believe in my heart that I have more than my law degree. I have my family; and let's not forget that my sister never betrayed me, unlike yours. I have Jim and I love him with all my heart and he loves me…and regardless of what you think, he's a better man than Phil any day. I got the better deal in that department."

Her friend gave a bitter laugh. "Oh you're envious of everyone. You're not a happy person, Johanna; you never have been because you won't do anything about it and because of your daddy issues that you cling to. It took you three years to catch a man…and it still isn't going to make you happy in the long run; do you know why?"

Hurt and anger coursed through her. "No; please enlighten me with your supposed know it all powers."

Sharon met her gaze and held it. "You'll never really be happy because Jim is never going to marry you, Johanna. That should've come through loud and clear by now; he doesn't want anything to do with marriage. He broke up with you at the mere thought of it. It's just another 'I'll love you while your convenient' type of relationships. It isn't going anywhere."

"I'm not convenient for him," she said tersely.

"Yeah you are; he's not going to marry you. He's just going to play with you until you start bitching for more and then that will be the end of it."

Before Johanna could form a response, the door of her office slammed shut, startling both women and jerking their attention in the direction of the sound.

Jim stood in front of the door, anger written across his face. He had been quietly standing in the outer office listening to the whole conversation; listening as Sharon crossed line after line and finally he could take no more. "I didn't know that you had a crystal ball that allowed you to see into the future, Sharon," he said tersely.

Sharon stammered in his presence as he neared them. "What's wrong; cat got your tongue? You seem to have suddenly lost the ability to speak," he remarked. "You were doing just fine a few minutes ago…because I've been standing out there listening to your whole little tirade; and personally, I think she probably should've punched you by now but I know she loves you and considers you a sister and that makes her hold back…and while I'd never lay a hand on a woman, I won't hold back, Sharon," Jim stated.

Sharon's gaze shifted to Johanna. Johanna looked away, having no desire to save her friend from the wrath that Jim was clearly feeling.

"She's not going to save you," Jim remarked. "You don't deserve that privilege. For your information, Johanna wasn't lying to you; she had no idea that I was dropping out of the wedding. I didn't tell her anything about it. Like she told you, I'm a grown man and no one makes my decisions but me; do I sometimes consult people when making decisions, yes, I do; this wasn't one of those times. Dropping out of your backstabbing affair of a wedding was my choice, not Johanna's. She doesn't tell me what to do or how to think and I don't tell her what to do or think, so you better get your facts straight. As for Jeff; I don't think he'd like you implying that he can't use his brain either; because I assure you that he does think for himself and that I didn't sway him in any way and neither did Maggie so you better think twice before you go track her down to jump on her, because she might be the one to reach out and deck you for it. Jeff made his choice, I made mine; we're not being in your wedding."

"It isn't right," Sharon said through clenched teeth. "It isn't fair to Phil or me!"

Jim gave her a sharp look. "Oh I think it's just what both of you deserve. Do you think what you did was right? If you think it was, you're sadly mistaken. What you did was dirty…a dirty slap in the face to the person you call your best friend…who has been there with you every step of the way, helping you plan, listening to your worries and going along every time you changed your mind. How dare you stand here and treat her the way you just did? She's not jealous of you, Sharon; I think it's the other way around. I think you're jealous of her and that's why you want to push your wedding in her face."

"I'm not jealous of her!"

"I think maybe you are," Jim retorted. "That's her name on the door out there, not yours. That degree on the wall you just threw in her face; that degree was harder to obtain than yours. She has some weight to throw around here, you don't. If that was your name on the door, you wouldn't be marrying Phil…because Phil doesn't like a woman to be equal with him in his profession. He wouldn't have given you a second look if you were an attorney instead of a secretary."

"That's not true," Sharon said through clenched teeth as Johanna watched the scene silently.

"Oh but it is," Jim remarked. "I've known him longer than you have; I remember the day he said that he'd love to go out with Julia…you know Julia, don't you? She's on the first floor; and when we asked why he didn't go ask her out, he told us that he'd never date a woman who was a lawyer…that women had no business being lawyers; that it was a man's job. Women were fine to be secretaries and assistants; but to walk into the courtroom and practice law? No; he wasn't having any part of that. If Julia was a secretary, he said, he would've asked her out in a minute, but she wasn't, and he wasn't tying himself down with any woman who thought she was just as good as him at work."

"You're lying!" Sharon exclaimed.

"No he's not," Johanna spoke up. "He's told me that story before. He's also told me about that grudge Phil has against me because one of his clients dumped him in favor of me."

"You're both lying!"

"No we're not," Jim stated. "Look, Sharon; I like Phil well enough, but he has his issues and that's one of them. I don't have any reason to lie to you. If you don't believe us, go ask him."

"I don't have to ask him anything!" she said as she shook with rage. "You'd say anything to make Johanna feel better or look better."

He shook his head. "You're free to believe what you want, but it's the truth. And let me tell you something else; you don't know a damn thing about what went on between Johanna and I when we broke up; you think you know it all but you know nothing. Johanna is not now, nor as she ever been, just a convenient plaything for me. I love her and I respect her; I'd never do to her what you were implying and I never said I was against marriage."

"You don't have to say it; you made it clear," Sharon retorted.

"You know nothing about our relationship," he stated firmly; "And don't you ever tell her that our life together is going nowhere; don't you ever tell her that she's just standing on the sidelines and won't ever be more than she is right now. Who the hell do you think you are? She's already more than you can ever hope to be; do you know why? Because she'd never do to you what you did to her. If she didn't go after what she wanted, she wouldn't have a law degree; she wouldn't have just won a case worth a quarter of a million dollars, she wouldn't have the respect of the clients who keep her on a retainer. If she didn't go after what she wanted, we wouldn't be together because I'd be the one still sitting on my hands, so don't you ever accuse her of being nothing. She's already something, and one day she'll be even more…and you'll just be Mrs. Phillip Harper; who has to ask her husband's permission to go see her friends, because he already informed us that once you're married, you won't be running off with Johanna and Maggie anymore. You'll have a husband and a home to tend to and no time for them, so maybe you better think about what it is you're going to be, Sharon. Now she told you to leave and I think you better do it, and don't you ever let me hear you talking to her that way again."

Sharon glared at both of them and then stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her. Jim and Johanna were quiet as she finished packing her belongings and they listened to the sound of Sharon collecting her belongings and leaving. Jim rounded the desk to stand next to Johanna as she closed her briefcase. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

There was a sheen of tears in her eyes but she smiled at him. "Yeah; I'm okay."

Jim slipped his arms around her and pulled her close for a hug. She clung to him tightly, breathing in his scent and letting him soothe her. "Thank you," she murmured.

"For what?"

"For everything you said."

He tightened his hold on her. "You don't have to thank me for that; it was all the truth…and I don't want you to ever let someone treat you like that again. I don't care if it's your best friend, your sister, brother, father, arch nemesis or who it is. You know how to defend yourself and you need to do it. I'm always willing to do it for you, but you need to do it too. Don't worry about hurting her feelings; she didn't worry about hurting yours."

Johanna nodded against him, clinging to him for a moment longer before pulling back a little to look up at him and smile. "You're very attractive when you're being protective like that," she murmured, her tone loving and sensual.

Jim grinned. "You like that, do you?"

"Mhmm," she said before stealing a soft, lingering kiss.

He gave her waist a soft squeeze. "How about we go get something to eat?" he asked.

"We didn't make any reservations; we don't have to go out, I'm okay," she told him; knowing that he'd feel like he had to cheer her up by taking her out.

"I know, but you look like you could use a milkshake…it seems like a milkshake day…and if you're having a milkshake, you may as well have your usual with it. I've got my mouth set on a burger…or two, to tell you the truth; and I want something pretty to look at while I eat it," he told her.

Johanna smiled softly. "Alright, honey; if you're sure you don't mind."

He touched his knuckle to her chin, tilting her face up for a kiss. "I'm positive; we need to unwind."

She sighed. "That's the truth…and a milkshake with a side of you is just what the doctor ordered."

Jim stole another quick kiss. "I knew you'd see it my way."

She sank back into his arms for a moment. Somehow she had known that she'd see it his way too...and she didn't mind at all.

---

"Is there a reason we're laying bed at 10am on a Sunday morning?" Johanna asked lightly as she sat her glass of orange juice back on the nightstand.

"Because we can," Jim answered, his gaze remaining on the sports page of the newspaper, which was spread out on the bed. "Just like it's perfectly acceptable that we're watching cartoons."

She nodded; her gaze flicking to the television on the dresser. "You're never too old for Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry and the Flintstones."

"Damn straight. I'll fight anyone who dares suggest otherwise."

Johanna giggled as she reached for another section of the paper. "This is nice…it's very relaxing; just the two of us being lazy."

Jim gave her a grin. "It makes you glad I wheedled my way into staying last night, doesn't it?"

"I wouldn't say you had to do much wheedling, and I'm always happy when you stay."

"You better be," he teased. "I did serve you breakfast in bed."

Johanna smiled. "Yes you did, it was very sweet and romantic," she told him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"And yet it didn't lead to romantic things," he quipped.

"What are you saying, you only made me breakfast because you thought it would lead to sex?" she asked.

"Not at all, sweetheart; I did it because I wanted to…I just thought you might tip for the service you received."

Johanna smirked at him. "Well you know what they say about assuming things."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm aware of that saying, but you know that other saying, a man can hope."

She laughed. "You say that like you've been turned down recently…and to my knowledge you haven't been. I didn't say no last night, or the night before…and let's not forget what you talked me into last week."

Jim glanced at her. "What?"

"Your office…," she stated; letting the sentence dangle so that he could fill in the blanks on his own.

He smiled. "Oh yeah, that was incredible, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was," she agreed, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "The whole night was…but we're not going to make a habit of it."

"Sweetheart, we were born to be amazing, there's nothing we can do about that this late in the game."

Johanna swatted him. "Aren't we conceited this morning?"

He shrugged. "Hey, when you've got it, you've got it."

She laughed. "I meant that we aren't going to make it a habit of doing these things in your office."

"Why not? It was after hours, we locked the door, no one knows."

"Because it's not appropriate and we're not going to do that anymore."

"Unless it's an emergency," Jim stated. "And believe me, it was an emergency."

Johanna eyed him. "We probably could've waited another ten minutes."

"No, I don't really think we could've," he remarked. "Besides, it was the location that made it seem adventurous."

"Mhmm; I think you just want to rack up as many locations as possible and we still aren't making it a habit."

"That's a shame; the whole thing has made my office feel very special. Every time I walk in there now I think of you and I smile."

She laughed. "I don't think I want you walking around work with that kind of smile on your face. People might get suspicious."

"I'll try to control my illicit smiling," he remarked, laying the paper aside and turning towards her, his arm coming around her waist. "But in return for that, you might have to offer up some compensation."

"You always want compensated," she remarked lightly as he pressed kisses to her shoulder.

"Nothing wrong with that," he said as he lifted the thin strap of her nightgown off of her shoulder. "Besides, I did buy you a new hairdryer…because you always said you needed one at my place."

"You didn't have to do that," Johanna told him, well aware that he was showering her with small tokens of affection as a way to smooth over the lingering feelings of their breakup and to sway her into spending weekends at his place again.

"I wanted to," he murmured against her skin. "You need it for when you stay with me."

She let the paper fall onto her lap as her hand moved to caress his face, her finger hooking his chin and making him look at her. "Honey, I know what you're doing," she said softly.

"I should hope so, if you don't, I'm being way too subtle with my intentions here," he teased.

Johanna smiled but didn't banter back. "I'm serious…you've been bringing me flowers and candy. You bought me a hair dryer, a necklace I saw in a store window…"

"It didn't cost much," he replied; "And you liked it; you weren't going to splurge on yourself that day so I did it for you."

"But you don't have to," she murmured. "All of these little gifts and the extra dates and attention is wonderful and I love it, but I don't want you to feel like you have to go through all of this…because I know that you're trying to smooth things over from our breakup and I know that you want me to go back to spending weekends at your place…and I will when it feels right, so you don't have to put all of this on your shoulders. I love you and we're fine."

Jim toyed with her strap. "It doesn't entirely feel like it sometimes. On Saturday mornings you're up and ready to leave by a certain time and I hate it. I don't want you to go…so I just stay here with you since you're determined to be here."

"Is it so bad to stay at my place sometimes?"

"No; I love it here. I'm just used to you being at mine…we could split weekends though, would that make it better? You can stay with me one weekend and I could stay with you the following weekend? Do you want to do that for awhile?"

"Will it make you feel better?" she asked.

"Yeah; but only if you're okay with it…if it's something you want to do too."

Johanna nodded. "I'm willing…I think it's a good idea. We'll just switch off, that way we can both be at our own home once in awhile on the weekends."

"My home is your home…at least you always said it felt like home."

"It does," she replied; "I guess when we were having our troubles it felt like that might be a problem for you…and besides, I want you to feel at home here too."

"I do; I always have. I don't mind alternating weekends."

"Okay…then next weekend, I'll stay with you."

"You'll bring your stuff back and let it there?" he asked.

"Yes, honey; I'll bring my stuff back," she told him, hoping that she was doing the right thing and not rushing them back into a minefield.

"I'm still going to spoil you if I want to," Jim remarked, pressing another kiss against her shoulder as a feeling of being victorious swept through him.

"I'm not against that," she replied. "I just didn't want it to be an obligation."

"It's not. I spoil you because I love you."

"I love you too…is there anything else on your mind?"

Jim was quiet for a moment; earlier in the week he had been thinking about how she had seemed to be picking and choosing her words at times; but ever since he had pried it out of her about her troubles with Sharon, she seemed to be doing better and he didn't see any reason to bring it up. He understood her need to be cautious in the wake of how things had turned sour between them so quickly, leading to their break up. He could let it go for now, it seemed to be working itself out. "No; I'm good if you are."

Johanna stole a kiss. "I'm good…better when you're here."

He smiled at the teasing note in her voice and returned his attention to his planned seduction of her…if she'd just cooperate. He was sure he could win despite the fact that she had picked up the newspaper again. He could play this game, he thought as he allowed his hands to begin roaming her figure, his lips moving to her neck.

"Oh no," Johanna said, her back coming away from the pillows she had been propped up against as she sat up.

"That's not the reaction I look for from a woman in bed," Jim remarked.

"Not you," she stated, her eyes remaining upon an article in the paper. "Mario's Diner is closing…Mario is retiring."

"And this upsets us because?" he asked.

"Because that was my first job; I started working for Mario the summer before my senior year…and I worked there up until I got hired at the law firm."

"I didn't realize that you worked at the same place all those years. I thought you worked somewhere else in college."

Johanna shook her head. "No, I stayed at Mario's; he's such a kind man. He was always understanding of my class schedules and always made sure I had enough study time…he even gave me weekends off sometimes so I could go to parties and events. He was good to me…Sharon too. That's where I met Sharon."

Oh, he thought to himself; that was going to add to the wound she was carrying in regard to her best friend. The foundation of their friendship was closing down…and it seemed like their friendship was at some sort of crossroads too. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I guess that place probably means a lot to you."

"Yeah; I had some good times there…met my best friend there…and like I said, Mario was a wonderful boss. He took care of us and looked out for us. Some jackass pinched me once; I was seventeen. Mario saw it…he jerked him up from that table and threw him out the door."

"Good for him," Jim stated. "That's a good man to work for."

"I try to stop in there whenever I can; it's been several months since I was there, but he didn't mention anything about retiring then."

"Maybe it's a recent decision; how long has he been in business?"

"It says 45 years; which I don't doubt. He's probably about 70 now but you wouldn't know it by looking at him. I'll have to stop in there and see him before the place closes down."

"When is he closing?"

"Next Sunday…I wonder if Sharon saw the article?"

"I don't know; I guess you can call her and ask."

She shook her head as she sank back against her pillow. "No; I don't think so. Mario deserves a good retirement but it's sad to think about."

Jim pulled her close and held her. "I know, sweetheart; but you have good memories to think about."

She smiled at him and cuddled closer. "You're right…but with everything going on with me and Sharon, it makes it a little worse."

"It'll be okay," he promised. "You two will work things out when the time is right."

"What if we don't?"

"You'll still be okay," he told her. "You'll still have me."

Johanna kissed him tenderly. "As long as I have you, I have everything need."

Jim smiled. "I feel the same way."

She sighed and did her best to push away the melancholy thoughts that threatened to sweep across her mind. "Let's just forget about all of those troubles and get back to our lazy Sunday morning."

"Sounds good to me," he replied. "I've got some ideas in mind to distract you from any unsavory thoughts."

Johanna gathered up the scattered pieces of the newspaper and tossed them on the floor before slipping her arms around him. "Go ahead; give it your best shot," she teased.

"Challenge accepted," Jim said with a grin before pushing her back against her pillow and silencing her giggles with a kiss.

---

As soon as Johanna stepped into the office Monday morning, Sharon met her gaze. "Did you hear that Mario's is closing?" the secretary asked.

"Yeah; I saw it in the newspaper yesterday," Johanna replied as she picked up the mail from the corner of the desk.

They were quiet for a moment as Johanna sorted the mail and put the most important things on top of the stack. "It's strange to think about," Sharon remarked.

She nodded. "Yeah; it is…I was surprised. I'm going to stop in there sometime this week."

"Me too."

"We can go together if you want," Johanna offered.

"I'd rather not," Sharon replied; a hint of an edge coloring her tone.

So it was still that way, was it? Johanna thought to herself. That was fine, she didn't need Sharon to go along with her; she had only offered to be nice and for sentimental reasons. "That suits me just fine," she told her.

"I figured it would, not that I was overly concerned one way or another."

Johanna sighed, it was going to be a long week; feelings were too bruised on both parts to make things anything but tense between them. She hated that it had to be that way but there seemed to be no other recourse; Sharon had put a knife in her back…and she couldn't pretend it was fine.

"I guess this chapter of my life really is coming to a close," Sharon commented as she sat down at her desk and organized the work in front of her.

"I guess it is…I'm sure you're counting the minutes."

The secretary nodded. "It's good to move on to something new."

Johanna eyed her. "Is that how you view marriage; something new to move on to?"

Sharon's gaze flicked to hers. "How else can you view it? Marriage is the next step; it's new, it's a fresh course in life."

Johanna managed to refrain from rolling her eyes. "Remember that the first time he pisses you off after the honeymoon."

Sharon smirked at her. "Phil and I don't fight every five minutes like you and Jim."

"We don't fight all the time," she retorted.

Her friend scoffed softly. "If that's what gets you through the night, Jo."

"We're not going to do this here, Sharon; I'll have clients coming in soon."

"I know how to be professional."

She stifled another sigh. "Did you water George?"

"No; I always have to water him; you do it! It's your plant!" Sharon retorted.

"He's our plant, I tend to him just as much as you do" Johanna remarked tartly. "We bought him together the day we got hired here; or have you conveniently forgotten that, among other things?"

"No, I haven't forgotten; but as your boyfriend reminded me, that's your name on the door, so everything in here is yours, tend to it. I'm here to manage the office not tend to you plants. I have enough to do with my work and on my breaks I'll be trying to find people to fill the vacant groomsmen spots because I still don't have anyone and I'll be looking for someone to alter those bridesmaids' dresses."

"My heart bleeds for you," Johanna said sarcastically as she moved to the door that separated her office from Sharon's and unlocked it. She flipped on the lights as she crossed the threshold; moving to the closet to hang up her jacket and purse. She dropped her briefcase onto the chair and then headed back for the outer office.

Johanna went to the file cabinet and reached for George. "Come along, George," she told the plant. "You don't need to sit out here where you're unwanted. Don't take it personally; your co-owner is just a bitch right now; hopefully she'll be over it before the end of the year."

"Takes a bitch to know a bitch," Sharon countered.

"I never said I wasn't one," Johanna remarked. "I probably could've told you that back when we were working at Mario's."

"No, I don't really think it came out until you got your law degree…ever since then you think you're all that and a bag of chips."

"That's a lie!"

"Like you'd admit it," the secretary retorted. "And for your information; I asked Phil about his so called grudge against you and he said you're crazy. He said you're just being a bitch and you need to get over yourself."

"Did you really think he'd admit it?" she asked; the barb rolling off of her without notice.

"There isn't anything to admit to; not everyone has to be President of your fan club, Johanna," Sharon said sternly.

Johanna shook her head; further discussion about the topic was futile and she wasn't going to engage in it further. She turned away and carried her plant into her office, taking it to the small table on the far side of the room near the windows. "There you go, George; you can get a little sunlight and I'll get you some water. It's just you and me now…I guess we better get used to it; but don't worry; I'll never treat you so callously and abandon you," she told him as she straightened his vines and checked to make sure he didn't have any brown leaves. It stung a little to have her best friend shun a symbol of their friendship and working partnership…but she had a feeling she was in for a lot of that now.

---

The week had passed slowly, Johanna mused late Sunday afternoon as Jim drove her to Mario's. Nothing had changed between her and Sharon; they remained caught on that rocky point where they had landed. They only spoke because it was necessary; there conversations never straying from work…and even those discussions were cold and tense. She also had to endure a break room run in with Phil who had proceeded to lecture her about her so called 'behavior' and how she needed to get over herself and accept the fact that no one needed her in their lives like she seemed to think. She hadn't told Jim about the encounter…she didn't want him to end up in jail…because she was sure he'd go punch Phil. If there was a way to make it look like self defense she'd be all for that; but since there wasn't, it was best to keep it to herself.

A soft sigh crossed her lips as the diner came into view. She could well remember her first day there; how nervous she had been as she walked through the door in her new pink uniform. There had been an equally nervous, pink clad girl waiting at the counter with her that day. That girl had been Sharon. They were friends by the end of their first shift. Johanna smiled a little, recalling that first year; the gossiping about boys and dresses and hairstyles; cheerleading practice and classes, friends, foes and annoying younger sisters. There had been movies and shopping trips and parties. Together they had planned out their senior years, their hopes and dreams, proms and anxiously awaited college acceptance letters as they planned an epic summer to follow their graduations.

They had gone to college together and hung on to their jobs at Mario's; worked their way through the adjustment to adulthood and the grownup problems that came with it. Now, with school in the past and Mario's closing, it felt like closing of a book. It had been a good book…but the ending felt sad as the friendship that had grown seemed to be withering. She was sad…and yet, somehow, she was ready to let it all go if that was what Sharon wanted. She didn't want to…she wished it could be different…but if it came down to it, like she had a feeling it would…she could let it go. It would sting for a little while; it would take time to get used to, but she could do it.

Jim pulled up in front of the restaurant and parked, turning to look at Johanna. "Are you sure you want to hang around here until I'm finished? You might get bored."

She shook her head. "I'll be fine; if I get bored I'll call and let you know that I'm going to look in the stores."

"You could just come to dinner with me," he told her.

Johanna smiled. "I appreciate the offer, honey; but I don't want to show up at your mother's unannounced…I have enough problems in my life."

He smiled and leaned toward her to steal a kiss. "I could go to the payphone and call her and tell her I'm bringing you; Dad will make her mind her manners."

"No thanks," she said with a laugh. "I'll be fine; I'll get dinner here and talk to Mario for awhile if I can. I'll be fine until you get back."

"Alright, if you're sure; I shouldn't be more than two hours."

"I'm sure; have fun at dinner."

Jim chuckled. "Oh yeah, I'm sure it'll be a blast. I'd rather be having dinner with you."

Johanna kissed him. "I'll make you dinner Wednesday…if you want; or we can go out, whichever you want."

He caught her chin and tipped her face up so that she would look him in the eye. "I want us to do what we've always done since we got together; dinner at your place on Wednesdays and then relaxation…and I stay."

She nodded. "Sounds good to me…I'll make fried chicken."

Jim smiled. "Perfect…and just so you know, I'm glad you stayed with me this weekend."

"Me too; it felt good."

"Let's try to keep it that way," he remarked.

Johanna smiled. "That would be nice…but neither one of us can guarantee that there won't be more bumps along the way."

"Oh, I know there will be more bumps…but we always get through them."

"That's true," she murmured. "I guess I better send you on your way; I don't want your mother accusing me of holding you hostage again."

He gave a quiet laugh and stole another kiss. "I'll pick you up in a little while, sweetheart."

"See you later," she said as she got of the car. She gave him a wave as he pulled away and then she took a deep breath and turned toward the diner; it was time to finish that chapter.

---

Sharon frowned as she walked into Mario's diner five minutes before closing that Sunday evening. Johanna was already perched on a stool at the counter as Mario tended to the cash register.

"There's the other half of the duo," Mario said warmly as he caught sight of Sharon. "I was starting to think that you were going to be the only one not to show up, Miss Sharon."

She gave him a smile, avoiding Johanna for the moment. "I wouldn't have missed coming…I was just hoping to avoid certain people while doing it."

"I told you I was coming," Johanna remarked; her gaze pinned on the old Coca Cola sign on the wall.

"You didn't say when," Sharon replied.

"You didn't ask."

"I figured that you'd be at your mother's as usual."

Johanna smirked. "Looks like you were wrong. My mother has the flu; she's declared the house off limits."

Mario eyed his former employees. "Uh oh; my girls are squabbling, aren't they?"

"You could say that," Johanna replied.

"I thought the two of you still work together," he stated.

"We do," Sharon answered "She's the hot shot and I'm her secretary."

"For now," Johanna remarked. "The future is uncertain at the moment."

Mario leaned his elbows on the counter. "What's going on, girls?"

"Nothing worth discussing," Sharon replied. "She's just a big baby who blows everything out of proportion and fancies herself a know it all."

Mario's gaze shifted to Johanna. She shrugged. "It's better than being spineless backstabber."

"Oh my," their former boss stated; "I'm suddenly reminded of a time when the two of you squabbled over a boy. If I remember correctly, you, Sharon had a crush on the delivery boy Adam and you wanted Johanna to advocate on your behalf with him to sway him in your direction. Only the plan backfired and he became interested in Johanna and asked her to go to a dance with him. You accused her of stealing him."

Sharon nodded. "I remember…and I'm still not entirely convinced that she wasn't trying to grab him for herself."

"If that was the case, I would've gone to the dance with him," Johanna said; "But I didn't out of loyalty to you. I never regretted that decision until now. Now I wish I had gone."

"He wasn't your type."

"I could've made an exception; he was cute."

"Ladies," Mario interjected; quelling the storm that was brewing. "What's happened currently?"

"I'm getting married," Sharon answered. "Some people can't handle it or the change it brings."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Please," she scoffed. "I don't have a problem with you getting married. You can get married ten times for all I care."

"Then what is the problem?" the older man asked.

"She asked me to be maid of honor and then ditched me six weeks before the wedding."

"Sharon!" Mario exclaimed. "That isn't proper; why would you do something like that?"

Sharon sighed and explained the situation. When she finished, Mario shook his head. "That was wrong of you to do and it was wrong of your fiancé to ask you to do that this late in the game."

"If she was really my friend, she'd understand," Sharon retorted.

"And if you were really my friend, you'd understand how I feel," Johanna replied.

Sharon sighed. "Maybe I get tired of deciphering how your overly complicated mind works."

"Who asked you to decipher anything?" Johanna asked. "What happened is really very simple."

"And yet you're making a huge deal out of it and so is Maggie; she's not even speaking to me."

"If I didn't have to speak to you at work, I wouldn't be speaking to you either," she replied.

"You and Maggie can be mad all you want but it isn't going to change anything," Sharon remarked.

"It wouldn't matter if you did change your mind; I wouldn't do it now if you begged me."

"I don't beg for anything," Sharon remarked. "You'll get over it eventually I guess."

"Are you girls really drifting down this road?" Mario asked. "I never thought I'd see the day where it seemed like you two might be ending your friendship…because it feels like there's a lot going on here; that this maid of honor business maybe was the straw that broke the camel's back. I love you two like you're my own; I've always been so proud of both of you; thought nothing could ever really come between you. Maybe this is just a bump in the road…maybe it's bigger, but I think you both need to figure out how it's going to be," he stated as he moved around the counter and grabbed two stools and placed them behind the counter. "You two sit back here so people won't think I'm still open; there's coffee and some cake left, help yourselves. I'm going to empty the cash register and take care of a few things while you girls talk. I'll be back out before you leave."

They moved behind the counter as instructed and Mario pulled the cash drawer and moved to the back of the diner.

"It's like the ending of an era," Sharon said quietly as she gripped the counter; her gaze sweeping across the empty restaurant; the sounds of dishes being washed and phone calls being handled heard through the swinging door that led to the back.

"Yeah, it is," Johanna replied; feeling that the statement encompassed more than just the closing of the diner. It felt like the end of their friendship too as Mario had implied and she felt helpless to stop the change from occurring. She took her coffee and moved to the counter, sliding onto one of the stools.

"In some ways it feels like we just stopped working here yesterday; and in others it seems like a lifetime ago," her friend went on.

She nodded. "It does feel like it was a long time ago in some ways…things have changed since we've been here."

"Yeah," Sharon said quietly. "When we left here it was to go to work at the law firm…we had to grow up."

"I think we did a lot of growing right here," Johanna remarked.

"We did," the secretary agreed; "But we've done more since then…at least I feel like I have."

Johanna's brow rose as she regarded the other woman. "Are you saying that I haven't?"

Sharon shrugged. "I don't know…I guess it kind of seems like you're always stuck in the same spot…you don't really go anywhere."

The comment packed a sting and she turned her gaze away as she tried not to let it show. She glanced down at the coffee she kept stirring, wondering what she was supposed to say in regard to that. "As opposed to you?" she finally uttered. "Where exactly is it that you're going, Sharon?"

"Well…I'm getting married."

Johanna smirked. "Oh; I forgot about that…marriage automatically makes a person superior; especially in relation to us poor, pitiful single girls that everyone thinks is desperate."

"Well aren't you?" Sharon asked.

"Aren't I what?"

"Desperate?"

Johanna's eyes narrowed as she looked at her. "Desperate for what?"

"For the things I'm gaining; a husband, a home, in the future there will be children."

She blew out a breath. "What is it about brides that makes them think everyone else is coveting their lives? I don't want what you're gaining, Sharon. In my opinion, all you're gaining is an uptight, somewhat controlling, grudge carrying jackass. Believe me, those aren't qualities I'd want to wake up next to every day of my life."

Sharon bristled at the remark. "At least he isn't afraid to make a commitment to me."

"Jim's made a commitment to me; I'm the only woman in his life."

"Are you?" her friend asked. "Because to tell you the truth, I heard about him and Callie while you two were on your little break and I don't believe for a minute that it was as innocent as Jim claims."

"I don't care what you believe; Jim told me that nothing happened. I trust him; his word is good enough for me."

Her friend scoffed. "I know you, Johanna; you had doubts…maybe you're still doubting his pristine word."

She shook her head. "No; I'm not. He's been honest with me before about these things; I see no reason for that to change now. He's a good man, he loves me; and like I told you before; if all we ever are is what we are now, that's fine; because I'm still getting a better deal in my mind. Jim doesn't tell me what to do; he doesn't get mad when I want to see my friends. He doesn't tell me not to wear a certain swimsuit because he doesn't like it; he wouldn't try to alienate my friends from me."

"Phil doesn't control me!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes," she said tartly. "Phil's a good man."

"I never said he didn't have any good qualities; he does. He just also happens to be in possession of some bad ones as well."

"Like you don't have any?" Sharon scoffed. "Like Jim doesn't?"

"I didn't say that," Johanna remarked.

"You don't say a lot of things, Jo; that's why it took you three years to get anywhere with Jim. You're a coward…and all because one jackass in college used you and broke your heart. That's life, get over it. All you do is hang on to the past; you get over nothing and you never want anything to change."

"I am over it," Johanna stated firmly. "Are you over Scott? Or do you still think about walking in on him and your sister? Do you and Allison laugh about that now, or do you still call her a backstabbing slut under your breath…because I'm pretty sure that's usually how you refer to her. Do you still think about that night you slashed Scott's tires and keyed his car? How about how your sister went away for seven months to 'visit a relative' and had his baby and put it up for adoption. Are you over that? I seem to remember you crying about it for what seems like a year."

Sharon's chin quivered. "Of course I'm over it."

"Mhmm," she replied. "You're face suggests otherwise…and let's not forget that phone call I got at 11:00 one night when you were crying because your mother guilted you into making Allison a bridesmaid to show that bygones are bygones and you can forgive and forget, live in harmony and all that jazz. Remember that? It doesn't sound like the behavior of a woman who's over something; sounds like you were hanging on to the past. So what your sister slept with your boyfriend and got pregnant, that's life, get over it. As for me being a coward; well you're a doormat, so I guess that pretty much puts us in the same boat."

Sharon smirked. "Except you're the bigger bitch."

Johanna smiled. "Oh, I don't know; it seems like a close race here lately."

Her friend took a long sip of her coffee. "At least my father can stand the sight of me. He's paying for my wedding and he's never calculated the debt I owe him and hung it over my head…but yours has, and I highly doubt he'll fork over a dime for your wedding if Jim ever marries you, which looks doubtful."

She gave a soft laugh, brushing off the blow. "Sharon, I don't need my daddy's checkbook; I can take care of myself. When the time comes, I'll take care of my wedding; my grandparents made sure I was taken care of with the trust funds they left me, and let's not forget, I have a job that pays well. I don't need a handout, nor will I ask for one."

"Not all of us are lucky enough to have rich grandparents drop dead and leave trust funds when we were children," Sharon retorted.

"Well then those people shouldn't throw their father's checkbook in other people's faces for no apparent reason, now should they?"

Sharon picked up her cup and Johanna did the same; each of them taking a long sip as they listened to the music from the jukebox as it filled the empty restaurant. Tension lingered and it made them feel awkward in their skin. It wasn't that they had never squabbled before, they had, as Mario had mentioned; but in the end they usually always hugged and laughed, swept it under the rug and forgot about it. This time felt different and neither one of them were comfortable with the feeling.

"I really didn't think you'd get so uptight about the maid of honor thing," Sharon finally said. "It's not like you like weddings anyway."

"Have I given you any trouble with the planning of your wedding that I've been apart of?" Johanna asked.

"No; not unless I'm trying to do it at work."

"That would be one of those 'I have a good reason to get mad' things, since you're supposed to managing my office."

Sharon gave a nod. "Fine, I'll give you that one; but I thought you'd understand."

"I would've understood months ago when you first started planning…but six weeks before the wedding? That's cold, Sharon; and you know it. That's a slap in the face after everything I helped you do and it does piss me off that Phil snaps his fingers for little Peggy and you just give in and dump a portion of your bridal party because it's what he wants for his sister. That isn't right, and if you think it is, then I don't know who you are anymore…hell, some days I'm not sure I know you anymore. You've changed a lot the past year and it isn't always in a good way."

"Maybe you're the one who's changed," Sharon retorted.

"Now how can that be? You just accused me of living in the past; you can't have it both ways."

"I still don't believe that you didn't put the idea in Jim's head to drop out of the wedding."

"I don't give a damn what you believe; I never told him to drop out of the wedding. I wouldn't do that. Phil is his friend and he has a right to stand up there with him if he wants since he was asked. Jim decided to drop out all on his own without any input from me. If he did it because he was mad about what was done to me, I can't help that. He's protective of me; when someone strikes a blow, he wants to strike back. He loves me, and maybe in his mind that means he can't stand up there knowing that you hurt me. I don't make his decisions, I don't tell him what to do. Jim made that choice, not me…and if you don't believe that, then maybe you don't know me as well as you claim to."

"Jim and Jeff dropping out has put us in a tough spot, you know," Sharon stated. "Now we're short two groomsmen and we have to find people to fill those slots at this late date so we don't have an uneven number."

"That's not my problem," Johanna remarked. "Maybe your maid of honor has a little boyfriend that can fill in; maybe Phil has a cousin who feels slighted."

Sharon gave a bitter laugh. "You are such a bitch this week; is it that time of the month?"

"Not at the moment, I'll have to check my calendar though and see if it's coming soon. I'll make sure you get a special note of awareness. You're not exactly bitch free yourself, is it your week of the month?"

"No; that's next week," Sharon retorted.

"Wonderful," Johanna replied. "Maybe it's going to be one of those times when we share the experience and really have a bitch fest."

"I certainly hope not."

"Don't worry; I'll be in court most of next week; you'll hardly see me."

"That's a relief," Sharon remarked.

"The feeling is mutual."

Sharon's gaze scanned the walls where pictures still hung that Mario had snapped of employees over the years. She spotted the one of her Johanna; they were smiling as they stood behind the counter; their faces void of stress and care…happy, free, blissfully unaware of life's bigger challenges that would await them when they left the hallways of high school behind. "There we are," she said, gesturing to the picture.

Johanna nodded. "There we are."

"Why is it like this between us right now, Johanna?"

She shrugged. "I don't know; I guess it's just supposed to be that way."

"Is it?"

Johanna glanced at her. "Well, you're the one who said you grew up and I haven't, so I guess it's only natural; although I have to disagree about me not being grown up."

"Maybe you just don't seem to be up to speed with me," the secretary stated.

"Maybe I don't want to be…maybe I don't want to turn into what I see you turning into."

Sharon glanced down at the bare counter. "It seems like we're on different pages."

"More than that; it seems like you don't like me very much anymore," Johanna remarked; "And that's okay; I get it."

"I never said that."

"You don't have to; some things are known without being said…others are said and they come through loud and clear; like how I'm not family. I'm well aware of the fact that we're not related by blood, Sharon; but you've always been family to me…and no matter what, you always will be. I'll always be here for you if you need me, and if you don't, that's okay too."

"I didn't mean to say it the way I did," Sharon retorted; "But technically, like you said, we're not family. We don't owe each other anything."

"I wasn't aware that I said you owed me something," Johanna remarked. "You don't; no one does…and I don't owe you anything."

"Is that your way of driving home the point that you're not throwing my bridal shower?"

"I guess in some ways," she answered. "It's not my responsibility anymore and I'm not going to worry about it. I'm sure your mother can help Peggy throw you a shower; probably won't be as good as the one Maggie and I were planning but those are the breaks."

"You don't have to sound so happy about it," Sharon replied. "You could just do it out of the goodness of your heart…for old times sake."

"I could but I won't," Johanna stated. "I'm tired of doing things out of the goodness of my heart…that's why I'm always getting stepped on. As for old times sake…isn't that another way of clinging to the past?"

"You're not going to let that one go, are you?"

"Of course not; apparently it's an area I need to work on; I can't let sentimental reasons get in the way of my self improvement."

"If you ever have a wedding, I'm not throwing your shower either," Sharon stated.

"That's good, because Maggie already called dibs on that and I believe in first come, first serve," Johanna replied.

"You and Maggie are real good friends lately," Sharon said, a tinge of jealousy coloring her tone.

"Maggie and I have been friends since we started working at the firm; she's your friend too."

"You know what I mean; you two are hanging out a lot."

"And you're always invited…and nine times out of ten, you can't come, won't come, or change your mind at the last minute because Phil suddenly has something the two of you need to take care of, visit, attend to, etcetera."

"It just seems like she's your best friend lately."

"Why do you care? Your mother said that the term best friend is childish, you didn't disagree; but for what it's worth, you're my best friend…even when you aren't mine."

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sharon asked as her head jerked upwards, her gaze pinned on Johanna.

"It means that I feel like you haven't really been a friend to me lately…at least not in the way you usually are."

"But Maggie is?"

"Leave Maggie out of it," Johanna replied. "This is between me and you. What am I supposed to do, Sharon? Never go shopping or have lunch with other friends because it might make you feel like you've lost that status?"

"Are you saying I'm jealous of your friendship with Maggie?!"

"It seems that way…you're the one that brought it up. I can't help it that you always bail on plans lately, with the exception of your wedding arrangements that you wanted us to help with…which is another reason we're both a little pissed about this stunt you pulled. You waited until we helped you do nearly all the work and then you kicked us out and act like we shouldn't be hurt by it, well we are, Sharon. Believe me, I don't want to be hurt by it, it annoys the hell out of me that it hurt my feelings because I don't want it to, but it did. We've taken some jabs at each other over the years, but that one…that was the worst."

"I'm sorry," Sharon said coolly; "But it's my wedding and Phil had a right to ask me to put Peggy in it. She's going to be my family."

Johanna nodded. "That's right; so call her at one in the morning when you're having those worries about your dress fitting and seating arrangements and flower orders. It's part of her job to help you handle these things."

Sharon's gaze returned to the picture on the wall. "I guess we aren't those girls anymore, are we?"

"No," Johanna murmured. "I guess we're not."

"I feel like everything's changed."

"Maybe it has…"

"I don't know what to do about it," Sharon remarked.

"There's nothing to be done…it takes care of itself."

"That was a long time ago," the secretary said, her gaze still pinned to the picture. "We look so young…carefree."

Johanna nodded. "I guess it's easy to look that way at 17."

"This is where we met…right here at this counter, it was the first day for both of us."

"I remember," Johanna murmured. "I was so glad that I wasn't the only newbie here that day; I was so nervous."

"Me too," Sharon replied softly. "We were friends by the end of the day…we spent our lunch break together."

She nodded. "Yeah…we split a big plate of fries and had vanilla milkshakes."

"We were afraid we'd drop the trays when had to carry them to the tables," Sharon remembered.

"But we didn't…we did okay."

Her friend nodded. "Can you believe we worked here for all those years?"

"It was a good place to work," Johanna noted. "Mario was a kind boss, understanding of our class schedules and when we wanted a weekend off to go to campus events or parties. He treated us more like his kids than his employees. Leaving here was a little scary…I couldn't wait to get into the courtroom…but it was scary to leave what was already comfortable."

"I know…I felt that way too. I was ready to put away that pink uniform and get to work in your office…but it was scary to leave."

Johanna swallowed hard. "I guess friendships are kind of the same way."

"What do you mean?"

"When it starts to not feel right and it's obvious that one person wants to go…it's scary to leave behind that last thread of childhood. We've been friends since we were teenagers…but that doesn't mean we have to stay friends, Sharon. If you feel like you've outgrown me, then we can cut that tie that's weighing you down. I don't want to feel like an albatross around your neck. We are different people now…I didn't think it had to change anything, but maybe you do…and it's okay if you feel that way. We can just be colleagues…take the pressure off the friendship for awhile or permanently, whatever you want. I'll still always be here for you, regardless of whether we're colleagues or friends or both."

A tear slid down Sharon's cheek. "So what are you saying; you don't want to be friends anymore?"

She shook her head; tears of her own rising to the surface. "I don't ever want to have to say that you aren't my friend…but I'm leaving that up to you. It feels like things aren't good between us right now…like they haven't been on and off for awhile now. It hurts me to even think of us not being friends anymore after all we've been through together; but you said we've changed, and we have, and maybe you don't want to be friends anymore."

"I never said that!" Sharon cried. "Did I say that?!"

"No; but it's been felt…and somewhat implied with the things you've said."

"I know things seem bad between us," Sharon remarked; "But they wouldn't if you hadn't flown off the handle about the maid of honor thing."

Johanna's patience met its breaking point. "How was I supposed to feel or act, Sharon? Am I just supposed to be your convenient doormat to wipe your feet on?"

"You were supposed to be understanding and not take it personally."

She scoffed. "Anyone is going to take that personally when it comes six weeks before the damn wedding!"

"Get over it!" Sharon told her. "If we're having problems, it's because of you…everything in your life is a problem."

Johanna smirked. "That's right, Sharon; including you!"

"The feeling is mutual!"

"Good; I hope it is! Why should I be the only one to suffer?"

"Oh you always suffer," Sharon retorted. "If anyone suffers it's the people around you that have to watch you make mistake after mistake…have to watch as you sit on your hands instead of going after what you want."

"Hey, Sharon; for your honeymoon, go to hell, would you?" Johanna shot back. "Your prissy, holier than thou attitude lately is on my last nerve and if you keep it up, I'm just going to have to punch you."

"I'll punch you back!"

Johanna scoffed. "Well it wouldn't be much of a beat down if you didn't; but in the end, I'd win, because I can take your ass without breaking as much as nail."

"I'd break all ten of your nails," Sharon shot back.

"I've got a nail for you," she retorted. "Can you guess which one?"

"Oh I'm sure I can; I've got the same one for you."

"You talk about me being a bitch," Johanna stated; "You're a bitch too."

"That probably comes from spending so much time with you."

"Well no one's making you!" Johanna reminded her. "You can leave, you can stop talking to me, you can quit your job. Do what you got to do, Sharon. I'm tired of caring."

Sharon blew out a breath. "Maybe it really is the ending of an era."

"Maybe so," Johanna replied as she rose from her seat to pace the diner. She moved to the jukebox, seeking out the record that she had always played when she was at work. She smiled a little and dug a quarter out of her pocket, dropping it into the slot and hitting B16.

"All the leaves are brown and the sky is grey," she sang along softly as the song began; her gaze flicking to the windows where the grey autumn light was quickly fading into darkness. "I've been for a walk, on a winter's day."

Sharon glanced toward her as she too began to stroll the restaurant; that old Mamas and Papas song had always been one of Jo's favorites…she figured her friend had probably sunk a hundred dollars worth of quarters into that jukebox over the years just to play that song on her shift.

"I'd be safe and warm, if I was in L.A.," Johanna sang, the line wistful on her lips. "I always wanted to go to L.A," she said aloud for no particular reason.

"So why don't you go?" Sharon said; her tone sharper than she meant it to be.

Johanna bit her lip for a moment, listening to the next line of the song before answering. "I don't have any vacation days left right now…maybe next summer…maybe Jim and I can go there."

"Do you think you can stay together that long? I mean you already broke up once and it's only been what, three months?"

"Jim and I will be just fine; we can't help it that we're a more passionate couple than you and Phil. You see passion lends itself to friction at times…but I don't expect you to understand the depths of our relationship."

Sharon rocked back on her heels. "You're saying your relationship is better than mine?"

She nodded. "I'll put it in writing and have it notarized if you want."

Sharon gave a short laugh. "I think we better just stop right here or we're really going to do some damage."

"Fine with me," Johanna replied.

Mario came out of the back, carrying two items as he came toward them. "Girls, I want you to take whatever you want as souvenirs, but I put these things aside specially for you," he said as he handed Johanna a small box.

Johanna glanced down into the box and saw four of the fine china tea cups and saucers that she had always loved while working there. They were dainty and elegant; their hand painted roses and gold trim around the rim had always caught her eye. "Thank you, Mario; I'll always cherish them."

"You're welcome, darling; I know how much you always loved those tea cups. And for you, Miss Sharon," he said as he handed her the small water color painting of two Victorian ladies having tea and cake on a veranda overlooking a lake. "I know you always admired this picture."

"Thank you," she said softly as reached for it, holding it reverently.

Mario took his keys from his pocket and went to the jukebox; unlocking it and opening it. "And I want you to have your favorite records," he stated, pulling B16. "California Dreamin' for Miss Johanna," he said, handing her the record before reaching in to snag C17; and I'll Be There for Miss Sharon."

They murmured their thanks and accepted more hugs from their old boss. "You girls walk around and take anything else you want; I have some things to finish taking care of in the back. I'm so glad you came to see me…and I hope the two of you work things out."

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world," Johanna told him.

He gave them a smile. "I'm so proud of you girls; never forget that."

They gave him wobbly smiles and thanked him again; watching him disappear into the back before they began to roam once more. Johanna grabbed a menu from one of the tables, along with a small vase that still held a rose bud. Sharon grabbed a vase and menu as well as they did their best to occupy separate sides of the restaurant. Johanna lifted down the picture of Katharine Hepburn that adorned the wall along with other celebrity photos and then selected a print of an early photograph of Manhattan.

Sharon took a few photos as well and then they both found themselves standing before the picture of the two of them. Neither one of them made a move; silence reining between them. Finally Sharon's gaze slid toward Johanna. "Are you taking it?" she asked her.

Johanna gave a slow shake of her head, sadness filling her as she looked at the photo on the wall. "I wouldn't want it to be said that I was living in the past," she said softly as she gave it and Sharon one last look before turning away. She scanned the diner one last time, moved behind the counter and went to the door to call one final goodbye to Mario and then she swept to the door and stepped outside just as Jim pulled up to the curb.

Sharon watched her go; her eyes remaining locked on her until she got into the car and they pulled away. She sighed deeply and reached for the photo…she'd hang on to the past this time…and hope she could make the future better at some point.

Author's Note: Up next, a scare….